How Millennials Are Using Facebook to Cope with DeathBy: Kelsey Chipman

MAINTAINING A RELATIONSHIP WITH THE DECEASED THROUGH FACEBOOK

Objective • To find how millennials are using Facebook as a way to maintain relationships with their deceased friends

Descriptive Method • To describe how millennials are using Facebook to maintain relationships and keep in contact with their deceased friends• Case Study• Observation • Interviews

Case Study • Chose 3 millennials informal memorialized Facebook pages• Alex Piller 1993-2013• Patricia Morris 1992-2014• Robert Smith 1993-2014

Observation• Observe the informal memorialized pages of those three individuals all aged 18-21 years old when they passed away• Observe the posts, pictures and comments on each deceased person’s Facebook wall from the time they passed away to the present • Only posts, pictures and comments from millennial aged individuals• Observe the content of the posts: pictures, comments, memories, thoughts, birthdays, holidays & more

Interviews• Interview three people who frequently post on their deceased friend’s Facebook wall• Written Questions:• How do you use Facebook as a format to maintain a relationship with “blank”?• Have your posts changed in the time since he or she has passed away, how or why?• Do you feel using Facebook as a way to maintain this relationship has helped you overcome/cope with some of the struggles of losing• a friend? • Alex-Leah• Patricia—Sabrina • Robert—Justin

Ethical Issues• Death is a very personal and intimate topic • Using real people for Case Studies & Interviews • Anonymized the data – did not use the real names or photos of deceased• Reassured the interviewees that the questions were completely confidential• Did not use real names of the people I interviewed

Case Study 1: Alex1993- 2013

Age 20

Month 1: Disbelief • “Felt like I had to say it one more time. I love you, I can’t believe you’re gone. I'll be sure to order some wings for ya next time we go to Buffalo Brothers.”• “I'm still trying to take this all in. It's going to be so hard without you around Alex. Missing you more than ever and I can't wait to see you again.”

Month 2: Reminiscing • “Drove through Arlington the other day. Immediately had a flash back of all of us headed out to the Ranger game. Wish you could be by my side at the upcoming games but I know you will be there in spirit. Love you so much. • “Stairway to heaven is on... Makes me miss you every time.”

Present: Thoughts • A lot of things have changed since you died but nothing could

change how much we miss you. You could never know the full extent of how you influenced all of our lives and how thankful we are to have had the opportunity to know you and call you our friend. You were a brother to us and it was a great trip that ended way too soon. Miss you man.”

Interview with Leah (Alex’s Friend) • I first used Facebook as a way to express my loss and feelings for Alex• After a few months I started posting on Alex’s wall when I did something that reminded me of him such as visiting his grave or hearing songs we used to listen to together• Now, over a year later looking back Facebook was a way in which I coped with the immediate shock of the loss. Now it helps me stay close with Alex. Nothing will ever lessen the loss, but Facebook helps to reaffirm his spot in my life

Results • From Case Studies, Observation & Interviews I found millennials are using Facebook to maintain a relationship with their deceased friend to:• EXPRESS LOSS & SHOCK • REMINISCE ON MEMORIES• RETAIN PART OF THE PERSON WHO DIED • In the end, I found this pattern follows the stages of healthy grieving:• Disbelief• Reminiscing • Acceptance: finding a way to retain part of the person who died

Sources• https://www.facebook.com/JayStavis?fref=ts• https://www.facebook.com/peyton.morris.739?fref=ts• https://www.facebook.com/andrew.pillow.35?fref=ts• https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1428983341&fref=ts• Trestrail, J. (2001, Jul 08). Dealing with bereavement helping teenagers find a way out of their grief. Chicago Tribune Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/419396525?accountid=14214