““In a united family, In a united family, happiness springs of itself.”happiness springs of itself.”

Chinese ProverbChinese Proverb

Is your family united? How Is your family united? How can you help unite and can you help unite and

strengthen your family? strengthen your family?

What are What are the Secrets the Secrets

of a Strong Family?of a Strong Family?

Frequently, shortFrequently, short

Appreciative of invisible workAppreciative of invisible work

Deuche’s Law – Behavior is ContagiousDeuche’s Law – Behavior is Contagious

Don’t give up too quickly, it takes 4 weeks.Don’t give up too quickly, it takes 4 weeks.

Small touches (non-sexual)Small touches (non-sexual)

Love Currency – Love Currency – understanding what it is for understanding what it is for the other person and learn the other person and learn to give it.to give it. Make your Love Currency Make your Love Currency

explicit.explicit. Gender differences and love Gender differences and love

currency.currency.

They go with each other when one of them has They go with each other when one of them has an activity.an activity.We should also tell them about our day – then We should also tell them about our day – then we are sharing.we are sharing.Commitment = How you spend your time and Commitment = How you spend your time and money.money.The commitment is in writing – a mission The commitment is in writing – a mission statement. statement. Decide what you want to stand for. Start with one Decide what you want to stand for. Start with one

sentence.sentence. Mission statements change as the family changes.Mission statements change as the family changes.

Quality time is a function of quantity time.Quality time is a function of quantity time.

Peak experiencesPeak experiences VacationsVacations CampingCamping

Continuous experiencesContinuous experiences Eating togetherEating together ChoresChores Doing homeworkDoing homework

The purpose of the task is to strengthen the The purpose of the task is to strengthen the relationship.relationship.

Strong families can solve problems in Strong families can solve problems in creative ways.creative ways.Happy families have the same number of Happy families have the same number of arguments, but they have spaces filled arguments, but they have spaces filled with happy times.with happy times.It is ok to have problems, but the key is to It is ok to have problems, but the key is to solve them quickly.solve them quickly. The longer you are in an argument, the harder The longer you are in an argument, the harder

it is to get out. Why?it is to get out. Why?

The goal of communication is by far more The goal of communication is by far more important than the techniques.important than the techniques.

If my goal is to win….badIf my goal is to win….bad

If my goal is to understand or help….good If my goal is to understand or help….good

As we communicate, we need to be aware As we communicate, we need to be aware of our goals. If it is a good goal, our of our goals. If it is a good goal, our communication will go well.communication will go well.

Techniques are good, but tend to be Techniques are good, but tend to be mechanical. Say it in your own language.mechanical. Say it in your own language.

Family Placement Family Placement ActivityActivity

Students who are:Students who are: The oldest child go to the NE corner of room.The oldest child go to the NE corner of room. The youngest child go to the SE corner.The youngest child go to the SE corner. The middle child go to the SW corner.The middle child go to the SW corner.

Each group is to list the advantages and Each group is to list the advantages and disadvantages of their birth order on a blank disadvantages of their birth order on a blank piece of paper. Each group will present their piece of paper. Each group will present their findings.findings.

Birth OrderBirth Order

The order in which children are born into a The order in which children are born into a family influences the development of the family influences the development of the children.children.

Oldest children bear the burden of the parents’ Oldest children bear the burden of the parents’ heaviest expectations and also of the parents’ heaviest expectations and also of the parents’ inexperience in raising children.inexperience in raising children.

Second or third children are generally treated in Second or third children are generally treated in a more relaxed way by the parents.a more relaxed way by the parents.

Youngest children often have a more difficult Youngest children often have a more difficult time in making the transition to adulthood.time in making the transition to adulthood.

Oldest ChildOldest ChildUsually set up as an example to the other Usually set up as an example to the other children.children.Treated more like an adult by his/her parents.Treated more like an adult by his/her parents.A high achiever.A high achiever.Given and accepts more responsibility than Given and accepts more responsibility than the other children.the other children.Usually college-bound.Usually college-bound.Independent.Independent.Affectionate.Affectionate.

Middle ChildMiddle Child

May work extra-hard May work extra-hard to get recognition.to get recognition.

Is usually a Is usually a peacemaker.peacemaker.

Is somewhat average Is somewhat average in schoolwork, but is in schoolwork, but is an all-around good an all-around good student.student.

Is usually a calm, Is usually a calm, even-tempered adult.even-tempered adult.

Youngest ChildYoungest ChildGets a lot of attention, Gets a lot of attention, along with a lot of bossing.along with a lot of bossing.

May be spoiled.May be spoiled.

Usually matures quickly.Usually matures quickly.

May be undisciplined and May be undisciplined and irresponsible.irresponsible.

Is easy-going about Is easy-going about school.school.

Likes to associate with Likes to associate with someone who takes someone who takes charge of situations.charge of situations.

Toothpaste ActivityToothpaste ActivityStudent draws a line on the black paper with the Student draws a line on the black paper with the toothpaste for every degrading thing I say and a circle toothpaste for every degrading thing I say and a circle for every positive comment.for every positive comment.

Give the paper to another student.Give the paper to another student.

Have this student put the toothpaste back into the tube Have this student put the toothpaste back into the tube of toothpaste.of toothpaste.

Once we have said something, Once we have said something,

we can never take the words we can never take the words back – back –

they have left their mark!they have left their mark!

Sibling Sibling RivalryRivalry

Competition among children of the same Competition among children of the same family for their parents’ affections or for family for their parents’ affections or for dominance.dominance.

It can occur at any age, even into adult life.It can occur at any age, even into adult life.

Next to the parent-child relationship, the Next to the parent-child relationship, the sibling relationship is probably the strongest.sibling relationship is probably the strongest.