FAT CHICK

BY Millie Graham

Scene 1

SPOTLIGHT on LINDSEY looking uncomfortable in a very tight dress and tall heels:

LINDSEYTonight is the night I’ve been waiting almost a year for. It’s time for the real Lindsey to shine. After is here, just one more step in the door. Finally I will be happy and confident and—

JODICome on Lindsey!

LINDSEYJodi! Scared the living daylights out of me.

JODIWouldn’t want you to be drinking while the sun’s still out.

LINDSEYThat has never stopped you before.

Lights up on a noisy college dive bar. JODI drags LINDSEY into the room and up to the counter.

BENJI, 25 bartender, enters behind the counter.

BENJI

What can I get started for you ladies?

JODISnakebite.

LINDSEYJust water.

BENJIJust water?

LINDSEYYes.

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JODI (to BENJI) No. (to LINDSEY) I did not invite you to this fine establishment for guys to ignore you the entire night because you’re Sober Suzy. (to BENJI) She would also like a Snakebite.

LINDSEY begins to protest.

LINDSEYBeer is so fattening.

JODIYou’re celebrating. Calories don’t count.

LINDSEYCalories always count! Jodi, I am not going to let one drink send me on the slippery slope back to Fat Lindsey.

JODIYou’re being ridiculous.

(to BENJI)Excuse me, how many calories are in a snakebite?

BENJII don’t know. If you want, I can check with my manager.

JODISee? No one ever asks what’s in a beer, they just drink it.

LINDSEY(Stage whisper)

It’s important to me. You wouldn’t understand, Miss I’ve Always Been Skinny.

JODIWhatever, I’ll be at the table over there enjoying lard filled bar nuts if you care to join me.

JODI leaves the counter and sits at the nearby table, scowling.

LINDSEYJust ignore her.

2

BENJII will. I hate girls who are constantly worried about calorie counts and shit. Like, come on, one beer isn’t going to kill you.

LINDSEY(Ingenuinely)

Haha, yeah.

BENJII feel like we haven’t been introduced. I’m Benji.

LINDSEYBenji, I’m Lindsey.

BENJIWell, Lindsey. Can I try an experiment on you?

LINDSEYOkay.

BENJII want to see if I can guess what you’re going to order before you do.

LINDSEYGo for it. BENJILet’s see, you look like the kinda girl who’s ready to party—

LINDSEYWell, actually—

BENJIOoh, a little feisty. If I had to guess, you’d be in for a... Long Island Iced Tea.

LINDSEY struggles to answer. LINDSEY

Can I get it Diet Iced Tea?

BENJI gives her a quizzical look.

3

LINDSEY(quickly)

I mean, It’s just that I’m trying to even it out between that and the crispy fried bacon mac n cheese balls… I’ll get two.

BENJIOh, Ok.

LINDSEYYeah, I love bacon. Doesn’t everybody?

BENJIOf course, so that’s two bacon mac balls and a diet Long Island Iced Tea. I’ll get those started, just let me just see your ID.

LINDSEY fishes around her bag. This goes on for an uncomfortable beat.

LINDSEY

Oh. Do you, are you positive you need it?

JODIJust show him.

JODI grabs the ID from LINDSEY’S hand and gives it to BENJI.

A powerpoint projection should

cast an unflattering Drivers License with a seventy pound heavier LINDSEY on a background.

Just LINDSEY notices.

LINDSEY (aside) No, no, don’t look at me like that.

BENJIWhoa, that’s a fat chick! Nice joke. Where’s your real ID?

4

LINDSEY (defeated) That’s it.

BENJIYou’ve lost a lot of weight.

LINDSEYSure, yeah.

BENJINo, I mean you look so good now.

LINDSEYYeah.

BENJI leans over the bar and calls out to the crowd. BENJI

Hey Lou, come look at this.

Lindsey just stands there frozen as LOU comes up to the bar.

BENJI (CONTD)

Lou, Look at the hot girl. Ok. Now look at this.

LOUWhoa! You were a fattie!

LOU and Benji inspect LINDSEY, as she remains still and disengaged.

BENJI

How’d you lose it? Pause.

JODIJust like the TV shows. Tons of gym time, better eating, you know.

BENJIOh Yeah? Thought maybe you got one of them Lapbandosuctions or somethin.

5

(beat) Honestly, I can’t tell it’s you. It’s like a before and after shot... I’ll be right back with your drinks, ladies.

LOU (to Jodi) So... I’m Lou.

JODIHi Lou.

LOU and JODI absorb themselves in conversation.

BENJI brings out the food and

drinks. He hands them to a distracted LINDSEY.

JODILindsey! Join us.

LINDSEY goes to the table and sets the food in front JODI.

LINDSEYHere. I got these for you. I know how much you love bacon, and cheese.

JODISit down and share them.

LINDSEYI can’t.

JODILook, it wasn’t that bad. Calm down and celebrate it. This is your after celebration—

LINDSEYNo, that’s not it. I can’t sit down.

JODIThe dress won’t wrinkle don’t worry—

LINDSEYI can’t sit—

6

JODI pulls LINDSEY into the chair. The dress rips down the side.

LINDSEY (CONTD)Down.

JODIOh my god!

LINDSEYI told you I couldn’t sit down!

JODI I’m so sorry.

LINDSEYForget it! It’s not you. I’m the fatass! This isn’t my after. I’m not ready.

LINDSEY rushes out of the room holding her dress together. She trips on a barstool and hits the ground hard. Lights fade out, and so do the bar noises. Spotlight on LINDSEY as she slowly stands up and gingerly touches the back of her head.

LINDSEY

Ow. The lights go up to illuminate a

full length mirror. LINDSEY, slightly confused, goes to it and inspects herself and her head for a bump.

LINDSEY

Good. No gooseegg yet. FAT LINDSEY appears on the other

side of the mirror, dressed identically to LINDSEY.

7

Lindsey looks at her new self in

horror.

LOU (O.S.)What a fattie!

BENJI (O.S.)Who’s the fat chick? Lindsey turns away, ashamed. FAT

LINDSEY laughs.

LINDSEYThis can’t be. I’m not her anymore, at least... I’ve changed.

JODI (O.S.)Tons of exercise.

LINDSEYWho said that? Jodi? Where are you? (beat) Wait, where am I?

LINDSEY paces the edge of the lit area, seeing no exit. She circles back to the mirror. They stare each other down.

LINDSEY (CONTD)

No, It’s a trick of the mirror. I must have hit my headreally hard. That’s it. LINDSEY inspects her hands,

feels her slender face, measures her waist, and looks at the mirror’s discrepancy.

BENJI (O.S.)

You look like one of them before and after shots.

LINDSEYWhere are those voices coming from?

8

FAT LINDSEY whistles at LINDSEY. LINDSEY turns to see the full glory of FAT LINDSEY in the flesh.

FAT LINDSEY

Do you hear them too?

LINDSEYAhh!...You’re from the mirror. It’s me... but old me. Fat me.

FAT LINDSEYWhat about weight loss lets people think they can be rude? Hello, I’m still here.

LINDSEYYou’re not supposed to be.

FAT LINDSEYI was here first.

LINDSEYNow you’re not.

FAT LINDSEYWould you know it, looks like I’m back.

LINDSEYNo. I got rid of you. See!

Lindsey points to her rockin’ body.

FAT LINDSEY

Fat chance. LINDSEY stares into the mirror,

ignoring FAT LINDSEY.

FAT LINDSEYYou can stare at your pretty face all day long, but I’m not going away.

LINDSEYWhy not?

9

FAT LINDSEY

You can’t just erase twenty years of your life.

LINDSEYI’m close. Uncle Chuck doesn’t recognize me.

FAT LINDSEYAnd how does that feel? Beat.

FAT LINDSEY (CONT’D)Are you sure you want to get rid of me? I kinda like it out here. Much better than being trapped in your shrinking stomach. (beat) You know that rumbly in your tumbly? Those late nightmunchies. That’s me... We’re rebelling.

LINDSEYI don’t want the late night munchies, and I don’t want you here. Wherever this is. (beat) Besides, you’re just a figment of my imagination.

FAT LINDSEYOh honey, I’m much worse than that. I’m your worst nightmare.

LINDSEYBut I’m not asleep.

FAT LINDSEYHa! You tripped on a barstool and hit your head, right? Do you see any barstools, or anything from the bar?

LINDSEY strains to look closely into the darkness.

FAT LINDSEY (CONT’D)

So you’re in a dream. (beat) And there’s only one way to get rid of me.

10

LINDSEYWake up.

FAT LINDSEYNot that easy. (beat) Dreams help you process emotions. Just now, you experienced something new. Benji the bartender was flirting with you.

LINDSEYSo?

FAT LINDSEYSo, as scared as you are to admit it to a figment of your imagination, this is the first time you’ve been flirted with.

LINDSEYNo it’s not.

(FAT LINDSEY gives her a deadpan look)If it’s all about Benji, then why am I not facing him here?

FAT LINDSEYDon’t get ahead of ourself. It will happen. But before we get there, you’ve got to get rid of some of these ghosts clouding up your psyche.

LINDSEYWhat ghosts? I am perfectly happy. I’m healthier than I’ve ever been.

FAT LINDSEYMaybe physically, but trust me, emotionally we’re screwed up. Losing seventy pounds takes a toll on your perception.

LINDSEYAnd you’re going to fix this while I’m dreaming?

FAT LINDSEYOf course. (beat) Let’s take a trip down memory lane. Say, hmm... a year ago?

The Projector changes into a "BEFORE" sign.

11

Scene 2- MALL

FAT LINDSEY walks the mall with JODI.

JODI

So Jake, remember him?

FAT LINDSEYWas he before or after Josh?

JODIBoth.

FAT LINDSEYOh the recurring redhead.

JODICan’t resist the gingers. Anyway, Jake took me to the

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Hideaway last night, he was grinding, and I swear the blacklight illuminated a stain on his pants, if you know what I mean.

FAT LINDSEYJo! TMI.

JODIDon’t be a prude. One of these days// you’ll get a guyand I’ll have to sit through your tales of love and lust.

FAT LINDSEYOne of these days... Which one comes first?

JODIOh I usually do-- oh wait, you mean, um, lust, yeah.

JODI picks up a bright dress.

JODI (CONT’D)This is adorable.

FAT LINDSEYFor you.

JODINo, look it’s in your size.

FAT LINDSEYIt’s a little short.

JODIShow off your hot legs.

FAT LINDSEY considers.

FAT LINDSEY I don’t think a dress is going to get anyone to notice

my "hot" legs.

JODIBuy that dress, we’re going out tonight. I’m proving you wrong.

They exit.

13

ON THE PROJECTION: A Facebook Profile picture of FAT LINDSEY wearing the new dress, smiling next to a likewise dolled up JODI. SPOTLIGHT on FAT LINDSEY and LINDSEY:

LINDSEY

Now I look at the picture and think... what do I think?

FAT LINDSEYSeven Likes. Two flattering comments. That dress wasperfect.

LINDSEY glares at FAT LINDSEY

LINDSEY

I sure hope no one scrolls down my page far enough to see this.

As if FAT LINDSEY is controlling the projector:

A series of photos scroll through screen. Parties, Food. Friends. Smiling faces, with FAT LINDSEY looking happy.

LINDSEY

But, no guy at the club cared. Of course, Jodi went home with the DJ.

FAT LINDSEYI went back to the dorm and watched I Love Lucy. A great night.

LINDSEYYou’re not looking at it from this angle.

FAT LINDSEYOh yeah, that’s right. We don’t even watch TV anymore.

14

LINDSEYTV was just your way of coping because you couldn’t find a boyfriend.

FAT LINDSEYIt’s even worse than I thought. You’ve turned into Mom.

LINDSEY Was she so wrong? Or did you forget what happened later?

BLACKOUT.

Music plays Gordon Webster’s "I

Like Pie, I Like Cake" or similar food related upbeat song. The projected images morph into ice cream and other sugary foods.

LIGHTS UP ON: FAT LINDSEY with

two half eaten Ben and Jerry’s. A solo dance party begins as she kicks off her heels, etc.

LINDSEY (CONTD)

No wonder I never got hit on.

JODI stumbles in drunk, hanging on the arm of JOSH. The music stops abrubtly.

JODI

Oh hey, Lindy. You remember Jake-

JOSHJosh.

JODIYeah, whatever...I’m going to sit down now. JODI giggles. JOSH helps JODI to

the floor.

JOSH (to FAT LINDSEY) Sorry to interrupt your--

15

FAT LINDSEYOh you’re not interrupting--

JOSHMy bad, I should have guessed. Jodi says you never have people over.

FAT LINDSEY notices the ice cream in her hands. JOSH does too.

FAT LINDSEY

Want one? I’m trying out the new flavors. This one’s got chocolate covered potato chips in it.

JOSHNo thanks, I don’t try to eat this late at night. Gives me weird dreams.

FAT LINDSEYMe too, I was just, putting them away... I’ll give you guys some privacy.

FAT Lindsey glances back at Jodi and Josh snuggled together on the floor. She considers her own nighttime companions, the ice cream melting in her hands.

Spotlight on LINDSEY:

LINDSEY

There. Right. There. We lost our craving for men made of ice cream. FAT LINDSEY walks back into the

scene with LINDSEY, defeated.

FAT LINDSEYSo we stopped eating sweets because Jodi’s boyfriend said so?

LINDSEYNo, yes, I mean... I was already eating unhealthy. Ice cream before bed wasn’t a good idea anyway.

16

FAT LINDSEYAdmit it. You starve yourself to get a boyfriend like Jodi.

LINDSEYI’m a senior in college and no guy has ever given me a second look... I just want what Jodi’s had her whole life.

FAT LINDSEYBut that wasn’t the tipping point. It got much worse before you changed.

FAT LINDSEY hands Lindsey one of the tubs of melting ice cream as she takes her by the arm.

FAT LINDSEY (CONT’D)

You’re going to need these.

LINDSEYEw. You of all people should know I don’t--

FAT LINDSEYJust trust me on this one.

A Christmas tree is illuminated. Several presents lie under the tree. LINDSEY tries to back away. FAT LINDSEY holds her there.

FAT LINDSEY (CONT’D)

This is for your own good.

FAT LINDSEY steps into the next scene.

17

Scene 3 - Living Room FAT LINDSEY pulls the big bow

off and unwraps a box. She reveals a Blender. MOM, 50s, same size as FAT LINDSEY, enters and crosses her arms.

FAT LINDSEY

Thanks Mom! Are ya thinking what I’m thinking?Margaritas!

MOMOr you could use it to try one of those juice cleanses.

FAT LINDSEYWhy would I--

MOMYour cousin Martha did one of those, remember? Thirty pounds in two weeks.

18

FAT LINDSEYThat doesn’t seem healthy or safe.

MOMWho cares? It’s better than being fat like--

FAT LINDSEYLike what Mom? Like me?

MOMLook, Honey. What do you want me to say?

FAT LINDSEYI don’t know, maybe, anything other than calling me fat?

MOMI didn’t say that-- I know how much your weight bothers you.

FAT LINDSEYIt doesn’t bother me. You continually calling me fat bothers me.

MOMWhen have I ever?--

FAT LINDSEYJust now. You called me fat. To my face.

MOMDon’t you want to be more like Jodi? I know you two are close.

FAT LINDSEYJodi is a real friend. She doesn’t judge me because of my looks.

MOMHoney, everyone judges everyone based on looks.

FAT LINDSEYNo, Mom. You’re wrong.

MOMThen how did you graduate High School without ever going on a date. (beat)

19

When I was twenty, I had already been proposed to three times.

FAT LINDSEYIt must have been your glowing personality.

MOMNot hardly.

FAT LINDSEYWhy now, Mom? Why do we have to do this on Christmas? In front of everyone. You’re ruining Christmas.

MOMI always want to see you at your best. One day you will be. And then the guys will come flocking--

LINDSEY interjects herself into the scene, yelling at MOM.

LINDSEY

Just stop. (beat) At my best, huh? Oh yeah, take a good look at me now. All they guys do. You’re freakin wish come true.

FAT LINDSEYMom can’t hear you. She’s just a ghost of a memory.

LINDSEY turns to the ice cream in her hands. She brings a spoonful to her mouth.

LINDSEY

Why couldn’t she just love me as I was?

FAT LINDSEYMaybe it was her way of loving you... It wasn’t easy raising you by herself.

LINDSEYShe wasn’t there when I needed a shoulder to cry on because the kids at school called me Lardo Lindsey. All I got was a tissue and a celery stick. (imitating MOM) If you stopped being the pudgiest kid in class, they would stop calling you names.

20

FAT LINDSEY

But it’s not up to her to give you self worth. Just like it’s not up to random guys, or even Jodi. People are always going to let you down.

LINDSEYYeah, well so does ice cream. LINDSEY drops the ice cream on

the floor. Beat. SPOTLIGHT as LINDSEY gets

on and begins to run on an imaginary treadmill.

Projector flashes images of NIKE

or Lulemon models exercising. FAT LINDSEY also gets up and begins running.

FADE IN: Upbeat rock song like

Grace Potters "Paris (Ooh La La)"

LINDSEY and FAT LINDSEY run in

sync.

FAT LINDSEY (panting) You can’t run away from me.

LINDSEYWatch me.

FAT LINDSEYWatch you?

FAT LINDSEY gets off the imaginary treadmill.

FAT LINDSEY (CONT’D)

(louder) You can’t run away. It’s a fucking treadmill. And it’s imaginary.

21

LINDSEYYeah, well you said this was my dream, so I’m taking it back. I’m taking control. Running clears my head, maybe it will clear me of you.

LINDSEY sprints harder.

JOSH and BENJI appear onstage. They walk past LINDSEY, not noticing her.

BENJISo you're going out with one of the theater geeks? Which one is she?

JOSHJodi. She's got brown hair and is about yea high?

BENJIThe hot one?

JOSHOf course the hot one. I wouldn't be caught dead with Lindsey.

BENJI and JOSH laugh as they exit.

LINDSEY(winded)This is my dream, I decide--

FAT LINDSEYI played no part in that one. You're not very good at lucid dreaming, huh? You might be experiencing a few more bursts of memory processing before--

DAD enters, holding a picture. He wanders around looking for someone.

Train station noises (brakes squeeling, loud murmering conversations etc) overwhelm the scene.

22

LINDSEYDad!

ANNOUNCERTrain 204, UCLA to Union Station now arriving.

DadWhere is she? She should be here by now.

LINDSEYDad I'm right here!

DAD looks that way but doesn't see LINDSEY.

LINDSEY fights with the treadmill to stop it. She can't.

LINDSEYThis is cruel. I have to get off, but the treadmill won't stop!(beat)He's right there. Why can't he see me?!

DadLindsey, where are you sweetie?

LINDSEY(desperately)Over here! Daddy, I'm right here!

(to Fat Lindsey)Come on, help me stop this thing. I have to get to Dad before he leaves again.

FAT LINDSEYThere's nothing I can do. This is part of the process.

DAD looks defeated. He puts the picture away, and fishes around his pocket until he finds a flask. He takes a long swig.

LINDSEYWhat part of the process?! Daddy no!

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FAT LINDSEYI told you this wasn't a nice dream.

LINDSEYMake it stop!

FAT LINDSEYMy hands are tied.

DAD takes another scan of the crowd, then checks his watch.

ANNOUNCERTrain 204 Union Station to UCLA departing now. All Aboard.

FAT LINDSEYWhat has it been five, six years since you've seen him?

LINDSEYSix years this Thanksgiving. He hasn't even called since then.

FAT LINDSEYOf course he doesn't recognize you. Look how different we are now.

DADShe forgot. That's it. She just, forgot, about our lunch.

LINDSEYNo, I didn't forget. I was here the whole time.

DADI'll just call her.

DAD reaches in pockets for phone, but finds the flask and takes another swig.

Dad (cont'd)(sounding drunk already)Oh, I can't call her like this. She shouldn't see me drunk again.

DAD exits.

24

LINDSEYI was right there. We were so close. This whole time, I thought it was his fault. He made me so mad.

FAT LINDSEYBut you didn't call him either.

LINDSEYHe stood me up. I was hoping for this big reveal and for him to be so proud of me. He didn't show up.

FAT LINDSEYWhy did you need to show off to Dad?

LINDSEYCause I knew he would understand. He was the one person who never said anything about my weight. Dad would love me no matter what. He was supposed to hug me, and we'd talk about school or work, or the weather, but not about how I look.(beat)I guess Mom was right when she said everyone judges based on looks

Scene 4

JODI enters, sees LINDSEY on the treadmill. Lindsey stops the treadmill and hugs JODI.

LINDSEYJodi! You're exactly who I needed to see.

JODIWhat's wrong Lind?

LINDSEY(pausing in between to catch her breath)I am in the worst nightmare. I hit my head, and now Fat Lindsey is running all the horrible parts of my life back at me... first you got drunk and Josh humiliated me for eating ice cream, then my mom showed up and ruined Christmas, Dad thought I forgot about him just because he didn't recognize me, and now you're here--

JODIWhoa, calm down. Everything's going to be all right. Sit down and catch your breath.

25

LINDSEYHow do I get out of here?

JODISounds like you're looking for validation.

LINDSEYI don't need validation.

JODIHonesty?

LINDSEYFat Lindsey is just making it seem that way.

JODIWhy do you keep calling her Fat Lindsey?

LINDSEYThat's what she likes to be called.

FAT LINDSEYNo I don't.

JODII have been friends with both of you for over ten years now.

LINDSEYI know that.

JODIDo you? Ever since you lost the weight, you've been acting like a different person.

LINDSEYA better person.

JODINo. A shy and anxious person who is constantly worried about what she's eating and how much she's exercising.

LINDSEYThat's not true.

26

FAT LINDSEYYes it is.

JODIOther Lindsey's got a point. Remember when we'd pull all nighters making cookies for the cast?

LINDSEYSure, but we usually ate half the dough. That's what kept us up till six in the morning.

JODIWhat happened to that Lindsey? Now the only time I see you up at six is when you wake up at five to go to the gym.

LINDSEYBut I'm improving myself.

JODII'm trying to tell you that you're not. Old Lindsey was fun and outgoing, and didn't care what people thought about her.

LINDSEYWe don't have fun?

JODINot like we used to. Going out to bars and clubs becomes an ordeal.

LINDSEYYou don't understand what it's like living in the shadow of your ugly self.

JODIYes I do, remember my scrunchie phase in middle school?

LINDSEYTwenty years of being the fat kid does not even come close to two years of wearing scruncies. And I had the scruncies too.

When I go out to bars and I have to show my ID, they get a picture of Fat Lindsey. When I check out a Library book, or buy milk at Costco, or get pulled over for speeding, they get Fat Lindsey.

27

JODISo what?

LINDSEYPeople treat me different once they know. You will never experience that.

JODIDo I treat you differently?

LINDSEYNo. It's the cashiers who say I've had an amazing transformation, and the librarians who interrogate me on how I did it, and the damn, hot bartender who gets an inside look at my vulnerability before I even get a chance to find out if he likes cats or dogs.

LINDSEY cries.

JODIListen to me. The wold is a messed up place full of jerkwads who want to tear you down. When you start believing the things people say, the jerks win.

LINDSEYWhat do we do about it?

JODIThere's nothing I can do. This is between you and her.

JODI exchanges places with FAT LINDSEY, so LINDSEY is now seated with FAT LINDSEY.

JODI (CONT'D)You don't need my validation. You need to reconcile this with yourself... Jodi out!

JODI exits.

LINDSEYSo I guess it down to you and me.

FAT LINDSEYHave you finally figured out that we're two parts of the same whole?

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LINDSEYIf nothing else, you have proved to me that you are inescapable.

FAT LINDSEYThank you.

LINDSEYI guess I should be gracious about the compliments. I guess.(to herself)You should be proud. You look so hot now...

It's not about what the compliments are saying, it's what those people aren't saying.

FAT LINDSEYI'm still here. We're still the same person. Insulting me now, while complimenting you, is still insulting.

LINDSEYWe've come a long way. I've lost weight.

FAT LINDSEYAnd for better or worse people are going to point it out.

LINDSEYMy past is past.

FAT LINDSEYBut it informs your future.

LINDSEYAnd I can't forget who I was, for fear I'll lose sight of who I am now.

FAT LINDSEYWell I'm glad I could teach you something.

LINDSEY returns to the mirror. She looks at both her past and her present.

LINDSEYIs this what I had to do to get to my After?

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Lights fade on the mirror scene. FAT LINDSEY disappears.

Lights slowly rise to show the bar scene from before, Lindsey on the ground having just fallen.

The Projector flashes "AFTER".

JODI rushes to LINDSEY'S side. BENJI and LOU also join her.

JODILinds, are you ok?

BENJIHere, give me your hand.

BENJI and LOU help Lindsey to her feet.

LINDSEYThanks.

Cast of Characters Lindsey : 20s, beautiful but shy

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Fat Lindsey: 19, vibrant and friendly, 70lbs heavier than Lindsey Jodi: 20s, Lindsey’s loyal friend and loudmouth, manophile Benji: 20s, hot bartender, does it for the ladies Lou: 20s, Benji’s friend and eternal frat boy Mom: 60s, Lindsey’s mother, can be played by Jodi Josh: 20s, Jodi’s on again off again boyfriend.

Dad: 60s, Lindsey’s deadbeat father, can be played by Lou.

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