focus october 2014 – dating issue

OCTOBER 2014focusmag.us

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S T Y L E F O O D K I D S A R T P E R F O R M A N C E F I T N E S S E V E N T S

COSMOBODY TRAINER

ADAM ROSANTEACTRESS, AUTHOR AND

ENTREPRENEUR

BRANDE RODERICK

C O M M U N I T Y P O W E R E D

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THE

DATINGISSUE

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4 FOCUS | OCTOBER 2014

CONTRIBUTORS

Wendy Brokaw Kretchmer Wendy is an editorial producer at CNN but considers her most important job to be raising her 2 girls. Her rare spare time is spent on a multitude of passions including fundraising, cancer awareness, fitness, and her guilty pleasure –Pinterest.

Alisa Ruby BashA Marriage and Family Therapist in Beverly Hills, Alisa has appeared on TLC’s “OMG EMT!,” NBC News, “E! News”, and “EXTRA”. She received her Master’s from Antioch University, and her doctorate degree from The Chicago School of Professional Psychology.alisarubybash.com

Michelle Harvey Michelle is a men’s grooming and style expert. She is the go-to gal for men’s grooming tips, style, lifestyle and dating advice. groomedbymichelleharvey.com

Laura MartellaA native of Atlanta, Georgia, Laura has always had a sensitive appreciation for the value of beauty in all aspects of her life. A lover of interior design and fashion, she is also a woman who has an inherent understanding for the value of impeccable manners.gentlemannorman.com

Jesse GoldenA model, yoga teacher, mother and a woman living with an auto-immune disease, Jesse is currently taking on private consultations with those who are in need of further insight and guidance. Email [email protected]

Kelly SealWriter, former speed-dating host, and author of Date Expectations: A Guide to Changing Your Dating Life and Finding Real Love. Kelly’s articles have appeared in The Huffington Post, Slate, and Examiner. Visit her blog “Notes from the Dating Trenches” at kellyseal.com

Danielle Cuccio Danielle is a celebrity private yoga instructor, and offers private yoga sessions customized to your individual needs.Cuccio Yoga Somatology Private Yoga • Retreats • Workshopscucciosomatology.com

Whitney EnglishWhitney English is a Hollywood reporter. She has worked at E! Entertainment, MSN and SheKnows.com. Whitney co-hosts the Google+ cooking show The Fit & Funny Foodies for Fit Approach.liveanddiet.com

Tara EllisonAfter enduring her own ‘miserable divorce’ Tara Ellison realized that what she needed most was a good laugh, and she turned to her passion for writing. Email: chaptertwo [email protected]

Pia ArtesonaPia can be found guiding Recovery Yoga and Vinyasa Flow at Bhakti Yoga Shala and Naam Yoga in Santa Monica, Sattva Yoga LA in Brentwood, and Liberation Yoga in Los Angeles. She also offers private yoga sessions.piaartesona.com

Michelle GilletteMichelle is a Life Coach and former Investment Management Exec. who loves to set up her single friends and coach them through the dating process, which has gained her the nickname Shiksa Yenta. thriveandfly.com

Tom CallawayAn interior designer and architect, Tom has designed residences in Beverly Hills, Malibu, Santa Fe, Jackson Hole, Chicago, New York, Natchez, Miami and Southport, CT.He has his own line of custom furnishings, textiles, wall coverings, and rugs.thomascallaway.com

Tali MarchefkaTali is a one-of-a-kind event stylist. She has over 8 years of experience planning fairytale weddings, themed celebrations, corporate events, holiday parties and charity events. She has a bachelor’s degree in Communication Studies from UCLA and is in the process of getting her MBA. pretty-lil-details.com

Jordyn GoodmanJordyn’s goal is to educate a younger generation to embrace health and wellness through a natural approach. You can listen to Empowered with Jordyn Goodman every Tuesday night at 7pm PST on LA TALK RADIO.latalkradio.com

Matthew HusseyMatthew Hussey is a British television personality, human dynamics coach, and New York Times Bestselling author. He was a matchmaker on NBC’s Ready for Lovegettheguy.co.uk

NOTE FROM THE EDITOR

Seemingly, everyone has an opinion about dating in LA – and it doesn’t just affect 20-somethings. A few months ago we published a story about a 60 year old, whose daughter gave her an Ipad. She went on to master the technology and get a date online! (January 2014)

Here are some interesting facts about dating, (thanks Google).

– It takes men an average of 3 dates to know they are falling for someone. It takes women 14 dates.

– Italian and Chinese food are the favorite choices for first dates. Sushi for the second date.

– Women are likely to up their chances of divorce by 5% for every $5000 they earn more than their hubbies.

– If you date online, you’re likely to break up online. 48% of match.com users broke up by email.

Well, you’ve figured by now that this is our Dating issue. A group of varied and interesting contributors tell their stories and offer advice. We hope you enjoy reading it as much as we did putting it together.

If you have any feedback on this issue or suggestions for our next ‘Food’ issue, please write to us. We’ll be glad to hear from you.

Mark CastellinoEditor

Write:149 South Barrington Place #178, Los Angeles CA 90049

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IN FOCUS | 10/2014

InFocus

Altazurra + TargetTarget is partnering with 2014 CFDA Womenswear Designer of the Year, Joseph Altuzarra, to introduce a limited-edition collection of women’s ready-to-wear and accessories for Fall 2014. The collection comprises nearly 50 pieces priced from $18 to $90. In stores 09/14.20%

spend more on phones than groceries

67% of Americans who have gym memberships waste about $468 a year by not using them.

63% suffer from Nomophobia (no mobile phone phobia). and check their phones for messages or calls once an hour. 9% said they checked their phone every five minutes.

Room For Cyclists Beginning September 16, the Three Feet For Safety Act will legally require drivers to give cyclists three feet of room when passing. If three feet are not available, motorists must slow down and wait until they can safely pass. Fines range from $35 to $220, if a violator injures the cyclist.

Miss Beverly Hills Crowned Congratulations to the winners of the Miss Beverly Hills and Miss Malibu pageant. The winners will proceed to the Miss California USA and Miss California Teen USA pageants in January 2015. This year, the organizers matched funds donated at the pageant to the Best Buddies, California.MISS MALIBU Nadia Mejia @nadia_mejia

MISS BEVERLY HILLS Chanelle Riggan @__chanellllle__

MISS BEVERLY HILLS TEEN USA Leona Koxha @leonakoxha

MISS MALIBU TEEN USA Savannah Hudson @sav_hudson

News Loud Parties and Noisy DogsA new pilot program, called Administrative Citation Enforcement, would let police officers hand out fines – $250 for the first offense, $500 the second time around, and $1,000 for third-timers – to people who commit “quality of life” crimes like throwing loud house parties and allowing yapping dogs.

Source: topaccountingdegrees.org/real-cost-american-dream

Source: Harris Interactive Survey 2013

Reading the Numbers

Text focus to 313131 to see the winner announcements.focusmag.us/tv/miss2014

Source: topaccountingdegrees.org/real-cost-american-dream

focusmag.us 7

Trending

MENS JEANSKeinejad’s combination of European elegance and Los Angeles edginess have already created a cult-like following among tastemakers and the jetset. Without sacrificing her passion for luxury, each piece is handcrafted with the finest quality Japanese, Italian, and domestic materials found across the globe. Keinejad’s denim line is made in Los Angeles and sold exclusively at Saks Fifth Avenue.keinejad.com

THE MODERN DRAPED DRESSWe’re excited to see a younger, hipper angle applied to this classic detail of feminine tailoring. A standout item for this trend is the flowing silhouette of the Racer Azalea from Zimmermann. The Australian brand is famous for its sophisticated femininity, and we love how they nail this stylish-yet-sexy look.

TAGS8570 Sunset Blvd |West Hollywood, CA 90069tags.com

Mila Jungesoundofbeautystyle.com

Comfy ChicIt’s all about being comfortable. Wearing leggings with a basic top can be considered very sporty until you add fearless finishing touches to your outfit. You can dress it up with edgy boots or pointy flats, a long necklace and a classy purse. Which makes it altogether a comfy, chic look.

BackpacksNot just for the school girl any more, backpacks are one of the top trends for Fall, being carried in numerous Fall 2014 fashion shows. Their versatility and accessibility make them practical for moving around town and their chic designs keep you on trend. You won’t see these on the playground.

Sarah Ollenburgerjugglinginheels.com

Tastemakers pick their favorite things...

ClutchEvery girl needs a clutch—whether you pair it with your favorite LBD for a night on the town or with your distressed jeans for lunch with friends. I never leave home without my Katye Rayburn clutch, handmade with genuine leather and natural stones. This one of a kind clutch is the perfect accessory for any outfit.

Katye [email protected]/shop/KatyeRayburn

Summer to Fall Everyday BagI’ve never been a huge bag collector as I usually gravitate towards shoes, shoes and you guessed it—more shoes. However, right now I am obsessed with bucket bags. I know, I know, I’m pretty late to the Mansur Gavriel party, but I blame that on the fact that they’ve been sold out EVERYWHERE for the past year. This purse has the power to completely and effortlessly transform a look with its’ structured leather and subtly printed brand name. Lindsay Simonlindsayandlace.com

KNOTTED TEE Nothing feels better than cotton knotted up with a perfect fit jean. Feeling flirty..? Pair that “knotted” tee with a pop of color, by adding a chiffon maxi skirt. Something about the effortless edgy look makes me feel so “Tom Boy Chic”

Tiffany Cameron@_tiffanycameron_

TRENDING | 10/2014


CHANEL ESPADRILLESPOSTED ON 08/29/2014I don’t own that many flats besides flip-flops, but I am a big fan of the espadrille. It’s the perfect summer shoe! I adore them paired with jeans and a simple white tee or a pair of chic cut-offs and a blazer – there are so many options because they are so versatile. If you are traveling or going to be doing a ton of walking these are a great shoe to have to be comfortable yet still look chic and stylish.

BLOG SPOTLIGHT | STYLE BY FLUENT/ Heather Anderson

BLOG SPOTLIGHT

My passion for fashion traces back to a very young age when, as a little girl, I received my first pair of high-heeled shoes from a friend who had just returned from China. For me, it was love at first sight, and I literally wore them everywhere. I credit my sense of style to my utterly stylish and cool Dad, who has been by hero since I was a little girl. I started my Personal Styling company 3 years ago right after I lost my Dad to lung cancer.

The thing I love about styling others is helping them feel better about themselves. I am a firm believer in the “look good, feel good” mentality. Don’t get me wrong, I know it won’t solve all of your problems, but what I know for sure is that when I look my best, I feel my best too.

I started my fashion blog a year and a half ago as a way to reach more people than just my clients. The internet is a powerful thing, it has allowed me to share my sense of style one outfit at a time to many people. I hope through the different looks I create that I am able to inspire others to express themselves in a way that makes them feel good – on the inside and on the out.

I always tell my clients and readers to dress in what you feel most “YOU” in, or most comfortable in. If you wear what you love and what you feel your best in your confidence will shine through and that is the best accessory a women can wear!

Being a Mom is my first priority, and I absolutely love it! However,

being a Mom and a woman who just hit 40 last year doesn’t mean my style has to reflect what most people picture a “Mom over 40” looking or dressing like. I believe there is a fine balance that needs to be attained when you are dressing yourself - you never want to look like you’re trying too hard at looking too young or too sexy, and on the other hand you certainly don’t want to look too old or dated either.

There is a tasteful way to put looks together to achieve that effortless and chic style that all of us are looking for. Kate Moss is my all time favorite style icon because she never looks like she is trying too hard. She is a Mom who is also over 40, and yet she still manages to look amazingly stylish. It is possible to achieve and maintain style at any age!

I started a collaboration with 3 other style bloggers about 2 months ago called “Chic at Every Age”. We have a blogger in her 20’s, one in her 30’s, 40’s (that’s me), and one in her 50’s. Each month we choose one item to style depending on our own personal style and age.

We take a group shot so our readers can see how each of us put looks together around that particular item.It’s really cool to see how we all style something so differently and come up with unique and different looks for all ages.

“Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak” - Rachel Zoe. This is one of my favorite fashion quotes. Always be yourself and let your confidence shine through!

Heather AndersonStylist / Fashion Blogger

PRINTED TRACK PANTS – CHIC AT EVERY AGEPOSTED ON 08/12/2014We chose the printed track pant this month because we have been seeing them everywhere and I’ve had a few of my clients email me and ask how to style them. Well, here are 4 AMAZING ways to style them thanks to my fellow blogger friends!

STYLE BY FLUENTstylebyfluent.com

KOCH PRINTED TOPPOSTED ON 08/04/2014Nicole Musselman, the amazingly talented designer behind the line Koch is one of my favorite designers! She adds a very edgy and chic twist to all of here pieces allowing each of them to be very unique and effortless which I love! The top I am wearing is very sexy – would be perfect for a date night, I especially adore the drapey back.

focusmag.us 9

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WEST HOLLYWOOD

Eden by Eden Sassoon8600 W. Sunset Boulevard West Hollywood CA 90069

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Christophe348 N Beverly Dr Beverly Hills CA 90210

Shades Salon144 S Doheny Dr Beverly Hills CA 90211

BRENTWOOD

Coral Tree Cafe11645 San Vicente Blvd Los Angeles CA 90049

Servis and TaylorBrentwood Gardens11677 San Vicente Blvd Ste. 110, Los Angeles, CA 90049

Sweet Crush11753 San Vicente Blvd Los Angeles CA 90049

Gloria S 11624 Chayote St Los Angeles CA 90049

Pilates Platinum11755 Wilshire Blvd Suite 60, Los Angeles CA 90025

STUDIO CITY

Optical Connection11996 Ventura Blvd Studio City CA 91604

SANTA MONICAPilates Platinum1255 2nd Street Santa Monica CA 90401

Unplug Meditation12401 Wilshire Blvd Suite 101, Los Angeles CA 90025

Kinsley395 Santa Monica PlaceSanta MonicaCA 90025

BEL AIR

Optical Connection2940 Beverly Glen Circle Bel AirCA 90077

WESTWOOD

Kinsley1009 Broxton AveWestwoodCA 90025

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KinsleyWestfield Mall14006 Riverside DriveSherman OaksCA 91604

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Marcks Newsstand 11737 San Vicente Blvd Los Angeles CA 90049

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Sherwood Magazines745 N La Cienega Blvd Los Angeles CA 90069between Melrose and Santa Monica Blvd

28 OCTOBER 2014AT TIATO, SANTA MONICA6.30PM - 9.30PM

FOCUS EVENTS AND WOMEN LIKE US FOUNDATION PRESENT

AN EVENT TO RAISE AWARENESS FOR WOMEN LIKE US FOUNDATION

SPECIAL GUESTS, ARTISAN FOODS, LAST DROP WATER CHALLENGE.

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THE MISSION OF WOMEN LIKE US FOUNDATION IS TO BRING TOGETHER THOSE OF LIKE MIND AND SPIRIT WHO WANT TO LEAVE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE BY LIFTING UP THE WORK OF WOMEN AROUND THE WORLD.

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focusmag.us 13

Water EverywhereFrom Baywatch to savvy business woman, Brande Roderick believes in making her own luck. in an exclusive video interview, she talks to Sandra Taylor about her path to success.

THE BIG BREAK:I did my audition for the Starsky and Hutch (2004) movie and Ben Stiller told me that he and his wife were big fans of The Surreal Life on which I had appeared on a few years prior. The director, Todd Philips, was a huge fan of Emanuel Lewis, and when I heard that, I immediately called Emanuel and asked him for an autograph for Todd and the rest is history. It’s the little things that can really help. There is one thing I believe in and wrote it in my book “ think outside the box” – if you want something and you have a goal, don’t do what everyone is doing, think outside the box.

BRANDE RODERICK | 10/2014

“If you want something and you have a goal, don’t do what everyone is doing, think outside the box.”

Baywatch To Alkaline 88, Brande Roderick Is Never Far From Water.Text focus to 313131 to see the complete interview.

AT A GLANCEBRANDE RODERICK

1998 Beverly Hillls 90210, actress

2000 Leigh Dyer in Baywatch, actress

2001 Playmate of the Year. Playboy, model

2003 Bollywood movie, Out of Control, actress

2004 Starsky & Hutch, actress

2003 The Surreal Life

2006 Rock Paper Scissors League.

2007 The Nanny Diaries, actress

2009 2nd season of Celebrity Apprentice.

2010 Bounce, Don’t Break, author

2013 Celebrity Apprentice 6 All-Stars,

2014 spokesperson for Alkaline88

PLAYBOY:When I came to California, Playboy was my big stepping stone in April 2000. I guess I can blame my mother – she named me after a Playboy model. In fifth grade I said to my teacher that I wanted to be a Playmate. And yes, I would do it again. I loved the whole Playboy experience.

FAVORITE JOB:Shooting Baywatch, living in Hawaii, being on the beach all day, working with gorgeous men. It was the best job ever!

BIGGEST ACCOMPLISHMENT:My book – Bounce, Don’t Break. It’s something I always wanted to do and it’s really exciting to be able to call myself an author.

CELEBRITY APPRENTICE: Everyone asks me if it was fun. It was really intense, working 16 hours a day, 6 days a week. We were doing projects in 2 days that normally would take 2 months. I loved the intensity as I am a really competitive person.

BE PREPARED:An example of being prepared is when I was on the Celebrity Apprentice All Stars. I watched 70 hours of past episodes to size up my opponents and to see how they played the game. I do my research. If I am going to a meeting, I will Google every detail about the people who will be in the meeting, so that I can find common ground – something I can talk to them about.

A NEW PASSION: ALKALINE 88 WATERIt is alkaline water with a ph of 8.8. It is so important for you to have a higher ph so you don’t get sick, so you can have more energy and be better hydrated. This is one the things that has helped me with heartburn and arthritis. It has Himalayan minerals which is good for the skin and make you glow. As for taste, it’s super smooth compared to many of the others that have a chemical taste.

I am their spokesperson, shareholder and on their board of directors. I have been living an alkaline lifestyle for many years, I have been going to a spa in Palm Desert for the past 15 years, learning all about alkaline foods. Then my agent told me about this company and the rest is history. It’s a marriage made in heaven. It’s all my kids drink. I am mostly proud that we are the low priced leader, which is why I am so drawn to it – because every person deserves to be healthy.LUCK:

I don’t think there is such a thing as luck without the preparation and timing. I put myself in a position where the luck can find me. I want to be 100% prepared. I don’t like to be surprised. focusmag.us/tv/branderoderick


DatingCONTENTS

Dating Apps 15

Winning: Courtney Robertson from The Bachelor 16

How to Maintain a Healthy Relationship 17

Naked Dating 18

Loves Bounty Hunter 18

A Gentleman’s Guide to A First Date 18

Date Talk 19

Gentleman Norman’s Guide 20

How To Get The Guy 20

Dropping Your Handkerchief 21

3 Lifelong Lessons On Love 22

Why Dating In LA Isn’t As Hard As It Seems 22

Love Is In The Air 23

Soul Mates And Twin Flames 23

Dating Apps

KindredlyNo text-heavy bios here, just your life story told through your photos.kindred.ly

DatezrDate suggestions, interesting places to go when you’re stuck for ideas.datezr.com

WhimSign up by 4pm and go on a date that night.whim.la

HappnEvery time you cross someone’s path, that person’s profile will be added to the top of your feed.happn.fr

The LeagueDesigned by a Stanford grad it’s an app for the smart-looking and successful elite.theleagueapp.co The Dating RingMatchmakers combined with algorithms and feedback.thedatingring.com

TawkifyMatchmaker driven, with no online profiles.tawkify.com

GlimpseA dating app built on Instagramitsglimpse.com

CloverNo questionnaires, it’s set up through your Facebook.clover.co

By now, we all know about Tinder but there dozens of other dating apps. We picked a handful for you to explore.

ProfileGurusOnline Profile Makeover by Dating Experts. They create your perfect online profile.profilegurus.com

WyldfireDating app where women have to approve men to join.wyldfireapp.com

DattchA dating app for lesbian/bi womendattch.com

mashrFriends set you up with people they think you will like.mashr.com

NoonSwoonA dating app that gives you a match daily at noon.noonswoon.com

How About WeUsers propose a (offline) date idea, which another user can then opt in to.howaboutwe.com

Coffee Meets BagelYou are served up one potential candidate, or bagel, a day. If you mutually like each other, you can swap info via a private number.coffeemeetsbagel.com

PureYou only see people who are nearby, and are up for a date immediately.getpure.org

HingeHinge helps you meet the right people for you. The types of people your friends might introduce you to, but haven’t had the chance.hinge.co


I have to admit, one of my guiltiest pleasures is watching reality TV. My favorite: The Bachelor franchise. When I was asked to interview, Courtney

Robertson, The Bachelor’s most notorious villainess “of all time” and winner from Ben Flajnik’s season, I got really excited! I devoured her new tell-all book, I Didn’t Come Here to Make Friends: Confessions of a Reality Show Villain. The book did not disappoint and has made

its way onto the NY Times Best Sellers list. She clearly is winning!Courtney does not hold back. Aside from sharing her side of the story, this book

contains many behind-the-scenes details about what goes on during the filming of The Bachelor. I was surprised she was allowed to reveal so much! She doesn’t apologize for much of her behavior – rather, she explains it. For instance, when she was on a group date and the other girls would hang out with each other waiting to get noticed by Ben, she takes full advantage and turns her group date into what felt like a a one-on-one date with Ben. The girls were seething! Her response: “I was surprised at how little game these girls had. There is this man here who we are on a date with, make a move. They made it so easy for me. I was there for Ben, not the friendship with these girls.” Hence, the title of her book!

Why were you the villain? I think the producers knew from day one. I feel like I was cast to play the villain but I didn’t know that until the show aired. They used only 1% of what was actually filmed. I wish they would have focused more on the love aspect.

When you watched your season, did you see yourself as a bitch? I was just blown away. I thought, I don’t like that person either. But a lot of those girls weren’t really nice to me. I wasn’t running around the house being mean to them. What most people don’t realize is that I didn’t associate with the girls. I kept to myself.

Do you think of yourself as a mean girl? No, I’m a girl’s girl. I have great girlfriends in my life. It was a very unnatural situation – to be living in a house and falling in love with a guy, who is dating 24 other girls that I am living with. I’m tough and

direct, and I guess it didn’t translate that well on to national television.

Why did you write this book? To give an inside scoop, go behind the scenes and to share the whole story about why we really broke up. There were so many lies. Hopefully this book will also inspire women who are stuck in a bad relationship to have the courage to get out.

Do you wonder what life would have looked like had you not gone on the show? I used to think about that a lot, especially after the break-up. I regretted going on the show. I lost my privacy, and my reputation

was affected which was really hard. But, I had a lot of fun experiences. And at this point, it’s been more positive then negative. So I’m definitely glad that I did go on the show.

Are you dating now? I’ve been focused on this book and working on myself. I’ve been single for the last 10 months. But, I recently started dating and meeting some interesting guys. Now I’m ready.

Are you still modeling? No, that came to a screeching halt after the show aired. But I wrote this book. And I’m writing another – a novel. I also got my real estate license last year and I’ve been doing that. Also, I might be doing another reality show. Stay tuned…

This is an edited version. For the full length interview, go to focusmag.us/courtneyrobertson

Winning...

by Wendy Brokaw Kretchmer

...How The Bachelor’s Most Notorious Villain Comes Out Smelling Like A Rose!

WINNING | Courtney Robertson/ Wendy Kretchmer

focusmag.us 17

How to Maintain A Healthy RelationshipNot too many people have accused L.A. of being an easy place to find the love of your life. Well, scratch that. Plenty of guys in this city find the love of their lives about 10 times a day, on every block, gym, club, and in traffic on the 405. There is no shortage of women or men who look exactly like the soul mate you have always dreamed of. But, there is an exponentially higher number of charlatans per capita than perhaps in any other city in the world. If you are single in L.A., chances are this is not a newsflash.

We live in a time of immediate gratification. We do not wait, and we do not waste time. We slide right, click on the app, and whatever we need arrives at our fingertips. This efficiency makes life so much easier in every department, except in love. There is no fast forward button, and as many of us have learned, often the harder you try, the worse the outcome. We’re so used to our disposable society, that most people head for the hills at the first sign of conflict or challenge. When the stars align, and you do really find someone who you could foresee a future with, how do you get it off the ground?After working with many singles, and couples with issues, I have observed what it is that gets the ring on your finger, and helps keep it there throughout all the ups and downs of life in Lalaland.

1) You are responsible for your own happiness.Find your thing. It is out there. Whether it’s exercise, yoga, pilates, your art, your church or your therapist, it’s that thing that recharges your battery and makes you glow. Once you find it, do not ever let anyone take it away from you. The high we get from new love is the best high out there. But, it will wear off. As soon as you stop doing your thing, and depend on someone else’s thing for your happiness, you will become needy, disappointed, and resentful. Happiness is an inside job.

2) Move slow and proceed with cautionHave a mental list, or put it on paper. Know what three qualities you must have in a life partner. And know your deal breakers. Everyone is on their best behavior in the beginning of relationships. It takes approximately three months of hanging out 24/7 until you even begin to see who someone is. After six months of dating regularly, you will have probably seen a hint of the dark side, which we all have. But, it takes a full year, a full rotation around the sun, with holidays, birthdays, V. day, etc, until you can see what kind of crazy you are dealing with. All men and women have some crazy in them.

You just have to see what specific shade your future hubby has, and if you can live with it or not.

3) Follow the 4 C’s of a Diamond relationship if you want it to lastGirls love bling. But aside from being pretty on the outside, diamonds are the most solid material on earth on the inside. That is the symbol we want for ourselves, and our relationships- strong, and solid to the core. When shopping for your rock, guys follow the law of the 4 C’s to determine a diamond’s worth. They are cut, color, clarity, and carat. If you want the most valuable relationship out there, you should follow the 4 C’s of a diamond relationship. They are: Commitment: That means when the going gets tough, you are not going anywhere. If you really have found true love, do not text that hot dude from tinder after your first fight. Every couple will have fights. No one is perfect, including you. If you have something real, stay there, and work it out. Be authentic and real with your words and actions. Communication: Learn how to speak to each other calmly and kindly. Listen to what your boyfriend is saying, and learn how to express your feelings, not just lash out, or act passive- aggressively. This is by far the most important part of your relationship. Learn to fight fair when there are problems, and articulate your feelings with confidence and love.

Connection: Whether it’s physical, emotional, or both, you must make time to connect everyday. We all have busy lives, but you need to water the garden that is your relationship, and fuel the spark. Couples that are in love are usually touching. Spend time everyday talking about something real and sharing intimate moments.

Consideration: How many self-absorbed people live in L.A.? Probably all 3.585 million of them. Practice your random acts of kindness not just to a stranger, but to the person sharing your bed. Do selfless, thoughtful things just to show that you care, when someone has really earned your trust and your heart. Pick up their favorite coffee, let them pick the movie sometimes, take their dry cleaning in. This is far from being a doormat, or coming on too strong. Just remember it’s the little things that are really the big things.

Guidance From A Marriage Therapist

“All men and women have some crazy in them.”

Dating

How To Maintain A Healthy Relationship.Text focus to 313131 to watch the video interview.

Alisa Ruby Bashalisarubybash.comfocusmag.us/tv/alisarubybash


A Gentleman’s Guide to a First Date

Naked Dating

Loves Bounty Hunter

A first date is a fantastic opportunity for a gentleman to make a great first impression. Most woman take time to prepare for a first date to look their best. Men should do the same. Your self presentation – which includes grooming, etiquette, clothing, clean car and house, are all important to making a great impression on your first date. Attention to these details shows overall respect for yourself and for your date.

I’ll start with what I consider to be as important as your personal grooming; your dating etiquette. I believe a gentleman should call a gal to ask her out on the first date, instead of texting her. This, to me, shows your interest and plain, old-fashioned chivalry. Don’t hide behind texts. It’s a good idea to confirm your reservation the morning of the date. This will avoid the embarrassment of getting to a restaurant and having to wait for a table, or worse, being turned away! I think it’s a nice touch to call your date and confirm with her as well. It goes without saying that you should go up to her door when you pick her up. Always open doors and pull out chairs. Most importantly, be on time!

Something I think that’s easily overlooked on the day of your date…a clean car. You may look and smell amazing for your date, but when you pick her up if your car is a mess, you’ve just shot yourself in the proverbial foot. Messy car=messy guy. And if your first date goes very well, and she comes back to your place, you better have cleaned your bathroom and changed your sheets.

Gentlemen, on the day of your first date it’s a great idea to get in a good workout. It helps to reduce first date jitters, as well as giving you an energy boost. A workout hours before your date will also give you a bit more muscular definition. Curls for the girls is never a bad thing!

Let’s turn our attention to grooming. Start from the top and work your way down. If you need a haircut, get one! Before you jump in the shower, make sure to trim all unwanted or unsightly hair from your ears, nose, neck, and eyebrows. If you have a beard, make sure to line it up and trim it. If you shave, make sure to shave before your date. Clip and clean your fingernails.

The way a man smells has been proven to be an aphrodisiac to women. If he smells good that is. Shower with a light, clean scented soap an hour before your big date. By all means use deodorant. Apply your cologne before you dress, as it can stain your clothes. Remember not to overdo it.

Dress up for your first date. This shows respect for the woman you’re taking out. Why wouldn’t you want to look your best? I’m sure she will. Make sure to iron the shirt you’ve chosen to wear. And, a detail easily overlooked, shine your shoes.

This may be THE most important dating tip. If your first date includes a meal, please take along gum or mints. Having fresh breath throughout the entire date is extremely important. Drink a lot of water during the date as well. Keeping your mouth hydrated helps to ensure fresh breath.

Finally, keep the conversation light, and above all else – enjoy yourselves!

‘Clothes make the man’, Mark Twain said but VH1 thinks differently with their reality show Dating Naked. One of the contestants, Kristen Williams, tells us why she decided to disrobe on national TV.

Coming soon on Indiegogo is your chance to contribute toward the making of a new online show about dating. Loves Bounty Hunter is the largest online dating company in the world. They bet their entire fortune on a computer program that they guarantee will find ANYONE their soul mate. In order to prove how powerful their system is they hire ‘Featured Daters’ in major cities in well-publicized campaigns to highlight their accuracy in finding people perfect dates. Starring Claire Bahn, the regular cast will be supplemented with featured cameos from actual online dating insiders: dating coaches, matchmakers and professional wingmen.

TELEVISION ONLINE

Some very unique rewards for Loves Bounty Hunter supporters include: – A speaking role in one of the episodes, – Real personal dating coaching with Renée Piane (who was voted the top dating coach in the US for 2014), – A complete dating profile makeover from datingheadshots.com – An executive producer credit for all of those would be Hollywood moguls.

Text focus to 313131 to watch Kristen’s story.focusmag.us/tv/kristenwilliams

Text focus to 313131 to watch Claire Bahn’s storyfocusmag.us/tv/clairebahn

clairebahn.com

Michelle Harvey groomedbymichelleharvey.com

Dating Nakedvh1.com/shows/dating-naked

Kristen Williamskristenwilliamsonline.com@kris10w1

DATING | 10/2014

focusmag.us 19

Date TalkSix women talk about their views on dating. The video we recorded of the event can be see at focusmag.us/tv/datetalk. Here’s a brief taster...

Dating

Brande RoderickActress and EntrepreneurI look for good stock in a man, a great dad, good genes.– On matchmaking; it’s an important element of dating, I think it’s essential. I have two friends who found their husbands online. It’s a great way to weed out, and not waste so much time.

Favorite Date: Disneyland but I would go Taco Tuesday too – it’s the thought that counts.Favorite Date Movie: Spartacus (original).

Sandra TaylorModel and ActressI look for someone tall, with nice eyes and a good sense of humor. A boring guy is just...I would rather be alone. – Never go Dutch. – I have friends who say LA is such a tough place to date, but I think to myself, “Really? If I were single, I would be married 10 times!– Men don’t change, their habits just become worse.

Favorite Date: Mr ChowFavorite Date Movie: Midnight in Paris

Alisa Ruby BashMarriage TherapistI met my husband online. I am a huge fan. I always recommend people try online and matchmaking services. I think it helps people define what they are looking for. I wrote down what I was looking for and it worked.

Favorite Date: Coffee BeanMovies: Comedy – anything that makes me laugh

Jesse GoldenYoga InstructorI look for confidence in a man. I am recently divorced and I did the dating thing for a while and it was ‘horrible’. Finally, I made a 4 page list of what I was looking for, and that worked.– A perfect date for me is when I don’t have to do anything, I like to be taken care of.– I haven’t used online dating thing but I have met guys via Facebook.

Favorite Date: Herringbone at the Mondrian.

Michelle HarveyMen’s Grooming SpecialistThe things I look for in a guy is to see that he is handsome, well groomed, has clean finger nails, well spoken. If he says “aint” then that is it.– I would prefer a phone call rather than a text before the first date.– Never ask a girl what she wants to do. He should have something planned.

Favorite Date: Nobu, Nikita, Mastro’s Ocean Club, The IvyFavorite Movies: Any horror movie

Claire BahnActressI like someone who is chivalrous. – Don’t go into a relationship thinking you can change a guy, love them for all their habits and hope they will do the same for you.– Approach people the way you want to be approached.– While online dating is great, there are guys that fake their profiles, you have to go into it with your eyes open.– The problem with the matchmaker services is that they only focus on what the men want.

Favorite Date: The Bazaar at SLS Favorite Date Movie: Any action movie.

Text focus to 313131 to watch this discussion.


How To get ‘the’ Guy

DATING | 10/2014

Meet A Lot Of GuysIt doesn’t matter how great a catch you are, the first step has to be putting yourself in the path of more guys. Make eye contact with guys at coffee shops, on trains, at bars. When you attend a party, be the person who goes and introduces herself to a group.

It’s not enough to just be in a room with guys, you have to make a move too. The trick is light, low-pressure conversation. You could point to a guys shoes and say “I just had to tell you, you have great taste for a guy”, or just ask him what cocktail he’s drinking. Keep it light and go for quantity of conversations. The more you do, the easier it gets.

Display DESIRE without DEPENDENCEThe next step is flirting. When you flirt, you always want to show a little hint of interest but without showing neediness. I call this DESIRE without DEPENDENCE.

Showing desire can just be showing a guy you’re impressed by something he does (i.e. he runs marathons, owns a business, rescues animals), or, as long as you do it with enough confidence, telling him something he’s wearing is cute or hot (the trick is to tell him something he does, or has, is hot, not saying “you’re hot”). Both these things show your femininity and appeal to his male desire to impress you. The trick is not to show neediness. Make compliments come from a genuine place of fun and interest, instead of some burning desire to be liked.

Lose Your Hang-UpsGuys have a sixth sense for bitterness, negativity, and women who have antipathy towards men as a species.

If you have a deep cynicism about men or relationships, put it to bed for good. Optimism is refreshing. So is being genuinely kind and interested in other people. There’s nothing that spells disaster more for a woman than when she drags all of her bad past relationships around with her like some poisonous odour. Give new people a chance.

Make Him Feel Excited, Understood and RespectedHigh quality guys need more than a pretty face. They need to feel like you understand them like no-one else does.

He needs to see that you admire and notice his great qualities, so make an effort to learn what they are (if he doesn’t appear to have any, why are you even pursuing him?). Moreover, a guy only wants to be in a relationship with a girl who excites him in three ways: Mentally, Emotionally, and Physically. This means being well-informed, having independent passions you can talk about, being able to connect with his interests, and yes, being open and sexual in the bedroom.

Keep Your Own LifeBeing a woman who has her own world is sexy, even if he does want you to also become part of his.

You want to be like a train that is always moving forward. You look after your body, your finances, your social life, and your own world no matter what. Most women make the mistake of finding a guy who likes them and immediately losing all those things that made them attractive in the first place. Be smarter than this. If you want to KEEP a guy and have him stay attracted, keep showing him those attractive qualities.

A MAN’S PERSPECTIVE

Gentleman Norman’s Guide

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Matthew Hussey gettheguy.co.uk

Gentleman Norman, 12 year old Pomeranian, offers practical advice for men on grooming and wardrobe, relationship maintenance and manners through his beautifully photographed coffee table book, “How To Be A Man.” Ladies everywhere are waiting in line for a pawtographed copy and a glimpse of this media mogul.

This fun-loving book is the perfect gift for people of all ages. The Gentleman Norman brand reminds us of the significance of Style, Manners and Charity in our lives.gentlemannorman.com

Laura MartellaLaura Martella is the pure essence of style and grace. A native of Atlanta, Georgia, Laura has always had a sensitive appreciation for the value of beauty in all aspects of her life. A lover of interior design and fashion, she is also a woman who has an inherent understanding for the value of impeccable manners. There is a certain effortlessness in her ability to make people feel at ease; southern hospitality if you will. With this in mind, it will come as no surprise that the book collaboration between she and her beloved Pomeranian, Gentleman Norman is a tutorial on just that; how to be a gentleman.

Download Gentleman Norman’s Guide:gentlemannorman.com/stay-out-of-the-doghouse

focusmag.us 21

Matching Up is led by sisters and matchmakers, Cristina Conti and Alessandra Conti. Confidential, elite, and internationally-renowned, Matching Up finds love for the most eligible bachelors and bachelorettes of the local, national, and international dating scenes. Just blocks away from the world-famous Rodeo Drive, the Matchmaking sisters bring old-school, personal matchmaking to Beverly Hills in the family-owned flagship location, with other offices in San Francisco and New Jersey.

Every day we Date Coach beautiful, successful, and smart bachelorettes of Beverly Hills who are looking for love. The single most common problem that they confide in us is: men are simply not approaching them. It doesn’t matter if they are decked out in their most fabulous, new, curve-hugging dress from Intermix or just had their hair blown out at Dry Bar... they are not approached when they are out at night and are especially not approached when they are going about their daily lives. If they are, the men who approach them are either intoxicated or inappropriate.

These fabulous women always ask us what they are doing wrong. Is it something in their body language? Are they not making proper eye contact? Is their make-up ok? Ladies, we are here to tell you once and for all: it’s not you. It’s them. There is an epidemic that has permeated the LA dating scene and is ever present within our society called Approach Anxiety. The numbers are staggering: 95% of men experience major, incapicating Approach Anxiety. Approach Anxiety does not discriminate; we work with Doctors and Celebrities, and each one knows Approach Anxiety all too well. The first step is acknowledging that there is a problem... and the problem is not you (#1LessProblem).

As women, we must understand that we have all of the power. We must embrace this power and utilize it in the best way possible to get the results that we desire. A disclaimer: we do not condone “picking up” men or chasing potential love interests. Instead, women need to harness our social prowess and simply “drop the handkerchief ”.

In the Victorian times, it was socially unacceptable for a woman to begin speaking with a man unless she was formally introduced, or he spoke to her first. Women became frustrated with this social norm; after all, a woman’s livelihood, social standing, and future depended on the man who she would marry. Women knew that something must be done, but with such a fragile social system set in place, women did not want to risk the stigma attached to making the initial introduction to a potential suitor. So, these smart, crafty women decided to take matters into their own hands and devised a plan. When they saw an eligible Bachelor, say the Duke of Devonshire, pass by, they would drop their handkerchief in front of him. As a gentleman of impeccable manners, the Duke, of course, stopped in his tracks, bent down, and picked up the handkerchief from the damsel in distress. He gave it back to her with an “Excuse me miss, you seem to have dropped your handkerchief ”. The ice was broken. The introduction was made, and the woman was then free to dazzle him with her wit and charm, and eventually become the Duchess of Devonshire. But in order to do that, the woman needed to discreetly make the first indirect move.

Even though you don’t carry around a handkerchief, you can still drop your figurative handkerchief with a few easy tips:

1. Ask a general, indirect question. When you are waiting in line at the Starbucks or Coffee Bean ask the cute guy in line next to you if the pumpkin spice latte is good. After he divulges his love for all things pumpkin, make sure to continue the conversation with a follow-up question. A beautiful follow-up question is, “Thanks so much! Are you from around here?” This then gives him full rein to keep the conversation going. Warning: you may find yourself on an impromptu coffee date!

2. Give a compliment... with a question. Whether you are at the Whole Foods, prepping for a hike at Runyon, or window-shopping at Brooks Brothers, give the handsome guy near you a compliment on an article of clothing, his glasses, or even his tie, and ask him where he got it. Say, “Wow, I love your tie/ glasses/backpack. My brother’s birthday is coming up... where did you get it?” Men absolutely love compliments, and they rarely get them, so you will make his day. Make sure you move on to your follow- up question, “Thanks! Are you from around here?” He will take it from there.

3. Ask him to take a photo of you and your friends. Having Sunday Brunch at Toast? Sunbathing with your girlfriends at the Mondrian? At an art gallery opening in Santa Monica? Ask the cute guy walking by to take a photo of you and your friends! The trick here is that instead of snatching it back hastily and scrutinizing your lack of a thigh gap, look down at it quickly, and then tell him, “Wow, this is an amazing photo! Are you a photographer?” Once he responds, make sure to counter his response with your trusty follow-up question, “Nice! Are you from around here?” Works every time (as long as they are not gay or in a relationship).

The secret is to break the ice in an initially indirect way and then be an active participant in the conversation with your handy-dandy follow-up question. Remember ladies: you have the power. You are gorgeous, successful, and any man would be lucky to be your Prince Charming. Sometimes they just need a little nudge.

A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE

Matchmakers in The City:Meet Focus’ New Resident Date Coaches: Sister Matchmakers of Matching Up in Beverly Hills

Dating

Dropping Your Handkerchiefby Alessandra Conti & Cristina Conti

Photo: Cyle Barzini


DATING | 10/2014

So I am 30…it happened…and while writing my last article on love, life, and loss, I had no idea I was going to get a few more lessons on love before I actually turned 30…..

Ready, Set, Go...….No? Then PUMP THE BRAKES!Like any girl, I am a romantic and

as much as you want that love at first sight moment, I have come to realize that things usually take some time. Everything is easy in the beginning. You are learning about each other and experiencing new things together. You wait for the day that some guy says “I want to do this in two months”, or is making plans for your future together. I think it is important for any girl to stop and ask herself, do I know enough about this person to be making plans for the future? At this point think – is this person going to be your partner in crime? If the answer is yes, then push yourself to be as loving and trusting as you can be. Not all humans have this infinite ability to trust, so if the answer is no, then PUMP THE BRAKES.

Change Me?You can not change anyone. If someone is emotionally unavailable you can not change that. You have to be the best version of you. You can not avoid or try to replicate someone else’s relationship. There is a point where every girl thinks “I can change him”, but in reality, you can’t. The right kind of love will make you feel free and safe at the same time. It’s this type of love and relationship that will make you a better version of yourself.

Love Me?You have to love yourself first... You never know what life is going to hand you, and you can’t expect anyone to be there when something does happen. I have dealt with breakups where I was left to pick up the pieces by myself, and I was okay with that. You realize what is important, and that is YOU. I wanted to be taken care of, but throughout my twenties but I chose a lot of men whose emotions came and went. I wish I had loved myself more then, but I learned to know exactly what I want and need at thirty. Love yourself first, and believe you deserve the guy you need. I’m still learning, every day, and that’s OK. So to every young girl – remember, life is full of surprises…some good, some bad and some that take your breath away.

3 LIFELONG LESSONS ON LOVE THAT ARE HELPING ME THRIVE AT 30

Why Dating In LA Isn’t As Hard As It Seems “Dating in L.A. is so hard!”

I’ve heard this phrase over and over again from both women and men. I’ve watched as they swipe through picture after picture in dating apps like Tinder, accepting and rejecting total strangers with scary ease.

Actually, they sound much like me only a few short years ago. I was a disillusioned dater, too. I would drag myself to singles networking events in my uncomfortable heels, after a long day of work. I kept my head up in the Starbucks line instead of buried in my phone, just in case some attractive man piqued my interest. I even hosted my own speed dating events. Yet none of this worked. Sure, I got dates – lots of them – but no real relationships. I became hopelessly frustrated, desperately needing something in my life to change.

So to help me find my elusive Mr. Right, I sat down and made a list of everything I wanted in a man. I started with the basics: great career, nice biceps, tall, dark hair, and a good sense of humor. Knowing what I was looking for should make it easier, right? Back out I went. Still there were more disappointing dates and flipping through yet more online profiles. So my list grew longer. I wanted him to be an avid hiker, a Democrat, a non-smoker, never married and no kids, between 30 and 40, prefer wine to beer, and I didn’t want a guy that spent weekends watching sports.

I thought if I visualized exactly what I wanted in my Mr. Right he would appear – the man of my lists and dreams. I didn’t think about my own negative traits and emotional baggage. I just wanted him to be baggage-free and perfect for me.

But after all my failed attempts to “find” him I finally figured it out – that is not how dating works. It is not a reward you get for the hours you clock on online dating sites, or an endless procession of awkward first dates until you meet Mr. Right. Dating is a process, a thoughtful, gradual unfolding of deeper awareness in each of us. Through each date we go on, we learn something new about ourselves. When we stop looking at dating as a goal we can start to have more fun. When we enjoy ourselves, even if we’re not on a date sitting across the table from Mr. Right, we are that much closer to understanding what we want. And more importantly, how we want to feel.

All those dates taught me that my goals and lists and preconceptions had closed me off to new experiences, to new people and relationships. As a result some pretty awesome guys I dated never gave me a chance either. My expectations were dating his expectations!

When I met my future husband, he wasn’t at all the man on my wish list but I wanted to spend time with him and see where our relationship would lead. I put my lists away and just experienced what it was like to simply be with him. And I liked it. A lot. In many ways I consider myself lucky that I had all those bad dates. They allowed me to open my eyes to the person sitting in front of me, who wasn’t the person I’d envisioned. Instead he offered me all the things I didn’t think to include on that list but were the only things that mattered – kindness, respect, and love.

So, the next time you lament about dating in L.A., remember: it is a gradual process. Thoughtful dating helps you to break down those barriers inside of you. It helps you see people in a new light. It surprises you when you least expect it. Most importantly, it helps us to connect with each other. Isn’t that the goal?

This is an edited version. The expanded article can be read at focusmag.us/jordyngoodman

Kelly Sealkellyseal.com@kellyseal

Jordyn Ashley Goodmanlatalkradio.com

focusmag.us 23

LOVE IS IN THE AIR …and Cupid’s bow is getting an assistSome young people may be surprised to learn that matchmaking was not, in fact, invented by the white-haired gentleman of eHarmony. Personalized matchmaking not only pre-dates the Internet but Biblical times. But even though the art of matchmaking has been in play for thousands of years, only recently has dating exploded into the ~$2.2

billion a year industry that it is today. Over half of this revenue is attributable to the emergence of online dating: According to a study by Match.com, today 33% of couples have met online but by 2040 this number will rise to 70%.

So, with all of this online matchmaking success and pending growth, is there still room for a good Yenta type - someone who

makes personal matches based on connections, intuition, and experience instead of algorithms? Statistics say yes. About $1 billion of that $2.2 billion industry stems from personalized matchmaking according to the Matchmaking Institute.

But in an industry that has no governing body anyone can hang out a shingle claiming herself a matchmaker. So where does one go to find a good matchmaker that’s worth a person’s time and money? And how do we know if that matchmaker is effective and adhering to a good code of ethics?

Enter Lisa Clampitt of the Matchmaking Institute, an organization she co-founded in 2003 to set a code of ethics and strict quality standards in the matchmaking industry. As her website states, “It is the first institute offering a Professional Matchmaking Start-Up Kit and Matchmaking Business in a Box, introducing singles to Professional Matchmakers, and providing matchmakers with a network of peers & support.” It offers “a professional matchmakers network, matchmaking workshops, yearly world-wide professional conferences providing matchmakers with a group of peers & support and is the only State Licensed matchmaking school in the world.

Lisa, a book author and a New York State Licensed Master of Social Worker since 1991 co-established the Matchmaking Institute to create a training and certification program for people who want to reinvent themselves and get in on the dating boom. She’s also created a standard of ethics, a teaching forum to educate matchmakers on how to run the business side of their cupid-esque endeavor, and her network allows matchmakers to get together, collaborate, share information, and learn from the top experts in the field.

Focus magazine recently observed a conference put on by the Matchmaking Institute in West Hollywood and love was in the air, as well as discussions about the practical side of matchmaking, covering topics such as business plans, proper budgeting and best practices to create a sustainable matchmaking business. Patti Stanger, the Milionaire Matchmaker from the famed Bravo show was brought in to share her insight and expertise in the field.

Not all good matchmakers have or need a certification from the Matchmaker Institute, but it’s a step in the right direction in terms of creating cohesion and standards in what is typically an isolated, unregulated field. Just as with dating, sometimes loving love is simply not enough… even Cupid needs a good plan of action and the Matchmaking Institute is there to help.matchmakinginstitute.com

Michelle Gillettethriveandfly.com

Soul Mates & Twin FlamesI think we all dream of meeting our soul mate and having them sweep us of our feet and living happily every after. This ideal image, that plays out in fairy tales fails to show the hard work and compromise that such a divine relationship takes. Everything worth living takes commitment, work, growth, honesty and most of all unconditional love.The state that you are in with yourself, and in your life, determines how your soul mate or twin flame will challenge you. The few people who experience this devoted union have known each other many lifetimes, and are on the path of serving others, NOT self service.Here are some tips to attract your soul mate or twin flame and what to expect when you have found your other half.1. We have many soul mates but only one twin flame. You carry the same vibration of energy and they are an aspect of your higher self. 2. It is ideal that you come to a place of self love before your soul mate comes into your life. Often, that is why people don’t meet their significant other until later in life, because sometimes the meeting won’t happen until you learn to love yourself first. 3. Soul mates usually don’t come into our lives until we have found the balance between the masculine and feminine divine within ourselves, however this is not always the case. Sometimes you go through this process together, balancing each other’s energies and learning what the perfect harmony is together. 4. Twin flames mirror each other and reflect our own ideas of ourselves. So if you have a bad perception of yourself or issues you have yet to deal with, then hold on, because your twin is about to mirror everything you have yet to deal with. 5. Soul mates or twin flames are not always going to be smooth sailing and effortless. True, there will be times of absolute tranquility but there will be times where you will need to push through your comfort zones, in order to stay aligned and grow. 6. Twin flames have an indescribable connection. Some might look like each other, even though on paper they physically look nothing like each other at all. It’s the same vibration of energy that makes them seem the same. 7. Twin flames can sometimes read each others minds – another sign of the deep spiritual connection. 8. Twin flames show us where we need “work” in our lives so that we can be the best person we can be and that is not always done without some growing pains. “...a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention, so you can change your life.” - Elizabeth Gilbert

Jesse Golden thegoldensecrets.org focusmag.us/tv/jessegolden

Dating

Text focus to 313131 to see our interview with Jesse.


SAMANTHA SCHACHERA Day in the Life

SAMANTHA SCHACHER / Dana Adams

A Photoseries by Dana Adams

What do you love most about hosting? Other than the awesome people I get to work with, and interview...I love our viewers and interacting with them. Whether I am on Dr. Drew on Call, CNN, or Pop Trigger, I say it like it is, and keep it unfiltered, and I think our viewers respond to that. They may not agree with what I’m saying, (and that’s ok), but I believe they respect the fact that I am strong in my conviction, and I am all me.

What advice would you give to someone who is looking to become a host? STICK WITH IT: Find your niche, your passion, your brand and hone it. You will get a gazillion “No’s” at first, but just keep on trekkin’, and improving your craft. Those “Yes’s” will come, and when they do, you will be ready because you have worked hard and practiced endlessly. Lastly, and I

Hulu and Dr. Drew

Text focus to 313131 to watch the video.

9am – Recording Pop Trigger for Hulu

focusmag.us 25

11am - A quick stop for a production meeting at Candle Delirium, West Hollywood, where Samantha’s pre-dripped Wick{ed} candles are sold.

know this is cliche, (and I also need to take my own advice), enjoy the journey, don’t just focus on the destination, because the journey is a long one, and there are lots of peaks and valleys. The key is learning to appreciate every pit fall, every milestone, and celebrating and learning from each one. And always, always, ALWAYS treat everyone the way you would like to be treated...with dignity and respect.

How did you and your husband start Wick[ed]? Out of the sheer necessity to produce a specific candle we envisioned for our wedding day. We wanted an ethereal vibe at our wedding, and we hoped to have drippy candles all over the venue. Of course no venue would allow a drip candle, so we scoured the market looking for an all-wax pre-dripped pillar that burned down the center, and thus they would not create a mess. There wasn’t one, so we rolled up our sleeves and made them ourselves. Through much, much, much trial and error, and blood, sweat, and tears, the “Pre-Dripped” candle was born, in our kitchen. Ha! Fast forward, soon our passion project turned into a full fledged business, and you can now find our candles at Urban Outfitters USA, and Europe, as well as Kitsons, NastyGal, HD Buttercup, Fred Segal Vegas, Barney’s NY, and exclusive boutiques Worldwide. Locally in LA, you can

purchase them at The Malibu Colony Co., Kat Von D’s Wonderland, Candledelirium, and Larchmont Beauty.

Where are your go-to spots in Los Angeles? The Gentle Barn. It’s is a farm full of rescued animals, and you get to feed them and love them; it warms your heart and soul. As far as food or fashion, I am obsessed with the matcha green tea bobas at Urth Caffe, and love everything and anything from Intermix. That place is dan-ger-ous!

We know you love animals and advocating for their rights, if you had a spirit animal which animal would you choose and why? Who says I don’t have a spirit animal? ;) I would hope my spirit animal would be a donkey. Ha! They can haul a ton of weight; are hard workers, and have the kindest eyes. I love that they are quiet most of the time, and unassuming, but when they do speak...boy do they have a unique voice.

@SamSchachersamanthaschacher.comfocusmag.us/tv/samschacher

9am – Recording Pop Trigger for Hulu

4pm – Makeup and Wardrobe at CNN.

6pm - On air, as co-host for Dr Drew On Call.

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Community

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HOW TO RELAX BEFORE THE FIRST DATE

PRE-DATE TIPS | Danielle Cuccio

#1. Breathe Take a moment. Close your eyes. Just breathe. Breathing is closely tied to the nervous system. We can dramatically shift the state of our nervous system by breathing deeper, longer breaths. Tap into your Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS) with this simple exercise. Inhale for 6 - Hold for 6 - Exhale for 6. Automatically you will start feeling calmer, lighter and ready for your date.

#2. LavenderLavender is known as a remedy for anxiety, depression and stress. You can find it in many health food stores in an Essential Oil form or stock up on some of the actual plant at your local farmer’s market! Take a whiff 10 minutes before your date, he won’t mind if you smell like it too!

#3. Music Music has been proven to affect your mood & restore energy. Want to be in a good mood and feel energized before your date? Turn on some upbeat music or music that relaxes you to re-boot your mind & body.

#4. Meditate Meditation might not be your go-to pre-date routine; however, it might be the most effective. Simply close your eyes, watch your thoughts pass you by and try to find stillness. When you’re ready, start to envision “The Perfect Date”. See both of you smiling; see how easy it is. Let all your worries and all those negative thoughts (that are so not true!) drift away.

#5. Water I always like to eat healthy, get my workout on and drink plenty of water before a date. I drink a crazy amount of water every day, and on the day of your date, this is no exception! Drink up! Staying hydrated promotes skin circulation, helps you eat less – so no bingeing because of those nerves – and keeps bad belly bloat at bay, so you can fit into those skinny jeans!

Danielle Cuccio is a celebrity private yoga instructor in Los Angeles, CA. T: (323) 863-5041 [email protected] more health tips & LA Health Spots visit her blog, www.TheBeautyBlender.com

First date! I know the feeling. Going on a first date can be somewhat scary. Walking back and forth, trying to calm yourself down, telling yourself, “It’s going to be great! …Actually forget it, I don’t want to go!” We have all been there. Before you get all caught up and cancel it altogether: BREATHE!

Before I was a yoga instructor, I remember going on dates so nervous! Changing outfits 100 times, trying to even breathe like a normal person, looking at my watch every 0.5 seconds to see how much longer I had until THE DATE. Ugh.

After practicing yoga #everydamnday and watching my yoga clients dramatically change, I now know that it can make a difference with dating too! Wish I knew these tips earlier! Here are some easy tips to follow before the first date to guarantee you feeling confident and ready to meet your Prince (or Princess) Charming!

Good luck! You got this!

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Yoga Off The MatYoga classes can take so many variations. Hot Yoga, Power Yoga, Kundalini Yoga, Ashtanga Yoga, and Bhakti Yoga, just to name a few. As Westerners, we are often drawn to the physical benefits of the asanas (poses) that help to keep us fit. There has also been a growing attraction to the virtuous

and spiritual aspects of the practice to enhance a deeper relationship with the self and ease our connection with others.

Centuries ago, an Eastern sage named Patanjali shared his ideas on poses, meditation, and living. This particular manual is called The Yoga Sutra. It includes the five yamas, and these yogic observances lay out a general outline for living more consciously.

The first of the yamas is ahimsa. At its root, ahimsa means ‘to cultivate compassion and finding kindness toward yourself and others’. On the yoga mat, we can practice ahimsa by being gentle to the body and not pushing past our physical limits. Of course we want to be challenged but we might skip a handstand if we’ve had a wrist injury. There are ample opportunities through the process to find love and acceptance for what we can and can’t do. This changes on a daily basis. The greatest way to develop ahimsa is to let go of the abusive self-talk. Sometimes we fall into comparing and we forget to honor our individuality. It’s the practice of observing our behaviors and not judging them, that allows us to build more compassion and care for the self.

“The best we can do is lean towards the light” – Joseph Campbell

Introducing ahimsa off the mat can be as simple as giving oneself credit for a job well done or cutting oneself a break. We can reduce resentments by finding forgiveness in our hearts while still respecting the need for healthy boundaries. We take responsibility for what we put out into the universe. We learn to realize that we are not able to control others but we strive to keep our side of the street clean.

As I practice being aware of how I live life, the quality of all of my relationships becomes richer. The kinder I am to me, the more I am able to receive those loving connections. None of us are saints but we can always attempt to put our best foot forward.

Pia Artesona teaches privately and can be found guiding Recovery Yoga and Vinyasa Flow at Bhakti Yoga Shala and Naam Yoga in Santa Monica or Golden Bridge Yoga and Liberation Yoga in Los Angeles. She will be leading a retreat to Tulum, Mexico Nov 1st-8th, 2014.More info at piaartesona.com or instagram @stepbystepyogawithpia

Fitness

Cosmic BodyPROFILE

Always in motion, Adam Rosante is the ambassador for Target’s C9 athletic apparel, and runs People’s Bootcamp in New York. Whitney English caught up with him on his whistlestop tour of LA to promote Cosmobody, the new fitness subscription network.

Beginnings: When I was 13, I wanted to look like Marky Mark. By 9th Grade I was studying fitness, nutrition and how the body works. I left college to work in television. One day a head executive asked me about diet, which led to fitness tips and then ‘I’m getting married in 3 months, will you train me?’ Over the years I got certification and 2 years ago I started People’s Bootcamp.The hardest workout in New York? Yes it’s intense but it’s also the most accessible, because you need nothing more than your own body to do it. It’s about 20 minutes. Super short – but at the end of it you are torched, metabolism thrown to the ceiling – for the next 38 hours, every single muscle screaming. I call it the detox before the retox. When you work out at that capacity it totally rewires your mind and you realize – if I could do this, what else can I do? And you start to explore other areas of your life. There are people who have totally transformed their bodies in only 6 weeks but it’s the stories about how they transformed their lives by doing nothing more than working out, that I found inspiring. That’s what I’m trying to bake into my involvement with Cosmobody.Cosmobody: It’s a mixture of programs from 8 different trainers and each trainer is very different. I would argue that we are all the best at what we do. It’s a next generation TV network. Netflix for fitness. A subscription, on demand programming that puts control in the user’s hands, whenever they want and on any device. We are all offering up things which took us years to perfect in just a few simple actionable steps. There are total workouts, programs and quickfire workouts. I do a series of 60 second workouts which you can do on their own or repeat, or you can make your own fitness playlist. Half the time I’m working out, I’m talking about things that inspired me in my life

Photo: C

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Photo: Fab

rice Henssens


ADAM ROSANTE | Whitney English

and letting that anchor a sense of self development – so you walk away, not only with a booty carved of stone but you feel empowered to actually tackle your biggest goals. There’s also some lifestyle programming, how to make healthy(ish) cocktails and cooking segments.What kind of support is there?When I film, I tag the end of my workouts with ‘This does not end here’ because I want the Cosmo woman watching to feel like I have her back 24 hrs a day. It’s not just this workout and I’m on to my next client. They can contact me through social media. All of the trainers are experts in our field so we are mindful to ensure that the woman at home doing the workout is safe. Im not in the room with you so I can’t say ‘you need to turn your toes out a bit more’, or ‘sit back onto your hips’ but I’m very direct with that. You feel like I’m there with you. If we are doing a squat jump, for instance, I wll ask explain the form at the top of the move and remind you of very specific cues – lift your chest. When somebody is doing a squat one of the first things that’s going to happen is they will collapse their knees or round their upper back. So I tell them to keep their knees in line with their toes, lift their chest. It comes from experience. Diet: Adopt a simple lifestyle of whole clean foods, single word ingredients as close to their natural state as possible. Eat 5 times a day – that’s the best way to strip out fat and feel like a billion dollars. You want a cookie, fries? Have them, enjoy yourself. If you have a specific goal you may have to refine but with most people, I feel their general goal is they want to look good naked. And for that you don’t need to restrict yourself. Just be mindful. Look at your life as if it is chess, not checkers. Think 10 moves ahead and then pursue that.A simple healthy swap? Swap all of your sugar beverages for clean water, flavored with fruit. Whatever taste you like. That will take a decent amount of sugar right out of your diet. Substitute pasta one night for a zucchini pasta, which you can make yourself. Just julienne it.The 30 second body: It’s not a gimmick. You work out for 30-second intervals. I stack them so you might do 4 different moves back to back for 30 seconds apiece no rest, and then you get 30 seconds rest and off you go again.

It’s about 5 minutes in total but you are moving like a silver bullet the entire time. My workouts for Cosmobody are really accessible and focused in terms of time because that’s the number one thing I hear. I dont have time to work out. We do challenges, very specific structured plug and play programs. e.g. get a wedding body, an upcoming vacation You don’t have to wake up early, look good, get in your car and go to the gym? Absolutely. If all you have to do is roll into the living room, turn on your TV or turn on your laptop before your mind is saying you don’t want to do this, you’re way ahead of the game.The secret? The secret is consistency. It matters less what you do than the regularity. And that’s true in all things. I’m in shape because I carve out the time to workout 5 days a week. I don’t prescribe working out 7 days. 5 days is perfect – 3 days on, 1 day off , 2 days on, 1 day off. Enough time for the body to rest and repair itself. One thing to always remember when you’re working out, is that you’re not actually building muscle – you’re tearing it down. The growth happens in the periods of rest, when your body has time to grow strong.And apart from Cosmobody?I train people privately on occasion. I am very structured with my time. I shoot with Cosmo twice a month. Target, Peoples Bootcamp. I also do a lot of speaking engagements. I design workouts for magazines. I’ll be in Cosmo in September. I’m also doing an event with Dell In September. Opportunities come about organically. I’m contented.

[email protected]

Whitney Englishliveanddiet.com

focusmag.us 31

Stanley Silver

Stanley Silver was born in LA, into a creative family of artists and collectors. Family visits to museums and galleries piqued his interest in art at an early age, and he majored as an illustrator at the University of Arizona.

While in college he received two commissions, enabling him to marry his twin passions of sports and art. The first piece was for the equipment manager and the second was a portrait of Roy Campanella, for his birthday.

Stanley’s paintings of celebrities and sporting figures drew the attention of the producers of the HBO series, Entourage and you can see his work adorning the walls in several episodes of the series.

His latest commission was for the 49’ers new football stadium – their effort to make make visiting the stadium part of a cultural experience.

stanleysilver.com

The artist Stanley Silver, whose sports themed paintings are recognizable in stadiums around the nation, had a series of his paintings unveiled at the 49’ers stadium in San Francisco last month.

Stanley Silver with wife Karen and sons Ryan and Jake.

Culture

PROFILE

Stanley Silver the ArtistText focus to 313131 to watch the video interview.focusmag.us/tv/stanleysilver


Jacob JonasPROFILE

Beginnings: At 13, I skated down to Venice Beach and saw the Calypso Tumblers perform on the boardwalk. I ended up touring busker festivals with them. After that, I wanted to study other forms of dance, and that led me to choreography.What do you do? Jacob Jonas, The Company specializes in dance, production, and arts education. We are collaborative, like-minded artists who produce emotionally charged performances, with the intention to encourage and not to compete. Our goals include making a larger presence in commercial branding for companies we admire, being a part of music videos and films, touring our own shows, opening up an academy in Los Angeles, and continuing to collaborate with artists across different mediums around the globe.Inspiration: A combination of things: Firstly – real life experiences. I like to build my movement from things I can relate to and have experienced, especially the things in life that I question. I love to work spontaneously. Secondly – I am inspired by other artists like Thom Yorke, Banksy, Lloyd Newson, Mumford & Sons, Pina Bausch, Vidal Sassoon and Donald Byrd. It is not just about their work, but who they are as people. I enjoy watching them being interviewed, and seeing how they got to where they are and the lessons they have learned, or the struggles they’ve had along the way. I am also inspired through collaboration. I enjoy working with different artists and learning through the process.Currently working on: After launching my company in January 2014, we premiered our first full-length work in August in Los Angeles and New York City. We are currently raising funds to get this show on tour, as well as to begin creating a new show. I’m also independently working on a few short films.About So You Think You Can Dance: It’s a platform for society to view dance but it doesn’t educate or expose the significant artists of this craft. To me, the show focuses on money and fame, sacrificing the quality of work being produced. The choreographers and contestants begin to idolize themselves in an effort to be famous, and therefore create one-dimensional work. They don’t teach the history of dance, and are focused on making themselves known, rather than the icons who made dance what it is. People like Merce Cunningham, Donald Byrd, Twyla Tharp, William Forsythe and Michael Peters, are therefore slowly disappearing in the minds of today’s youngest dancers. The next generation of students will crave fame rather than success. This affects their work ethic; some of the educational qualities that are so important include trust, collaboration, and encouragement, and these qualities are being underscored in favor of competitive nature. The competitive aspect of dance is becoming the commercial appeal, and therefore hurting concert dance companies. The funds to keep concert dance alive is getting harder

to obtain because it lacks competition. Society is seeing the 90 second pieces on SYTYCD and isn’t taking the time to learn and understand works that concert dance companies create, which can be up to 30 minutes and can tackle deeper topics. Lastly, I believe the art of choreography includes room for exploration within the creative process, but most of the choreographers on this show create line for line –again, limiting the understanding the viewers have of dance. Continuing to celebrate shows like this isn’t sustainable for this art form.To Aspiring Dancers: The best advice I can give is – do it because you love it. That should be the driving force for anything you do. Don’t crave fame, and only be the best you want to be. Educate and expose yourself to the best artists around and really learn your art form. Don’t limit yourself to a certain style, and remain as open minded as possible.The Future: I want to continue developing my company and work towards having many shows on tour, as well as directing feature films and documentaries.

jacobjonas.com@jacobjonasthecompany

Favorite Place: The bench at the end of the Santa Monica Pier

Favorite recording artists: Mumford & Sons, Thom Yorke and Coldplay

Favorite movie: August Rush

Favorite thing: A camera

AT A GLANCE

Photo: K

at IrlinP

hoto: Matthew

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JACOB JONAS | Mark Castellino

focusmag.us 33

Travelling for DesignAs summer settles down

to its final days, and one’s thoughts begin

to ramp up for the months ahead… anticipating our kid’s new school year, getting back to work at our jobs with new purpose, or just being jazzed for the upcoming football season, it’s also good to reflect on the enjoyment the summer may have held. Particularly if any traveling took place. Summer travels often include getting away with the family, away from the day to day routine of LA, and perhaps to other environments altogether, be they near or far. Of late, my travel has been scattered throughout the year. It’s usually tied to one design event or another, making for a learning excursion as well as a visual adventure. I am privileged to have been invited to be a part of a group of leading American Architects and Interior Designers who have convened annually for the past 9 years in American cities, as well as cities abroad.

What began as an idea of bringing 100 top American design practitioners together to bond, while sharing new visual experiences and input from leading speakers in their field, was made all the more interesting by holding these conferences at iconic destinations around the world. In addition to a multitude of excellent speakers discussing an array of various issues and topics, we also take invigorating trips to important locales, museums, and special structures, galleries, studios, or production sites that represent the best examples of architecture, art, and design which each city has to offer.

Over the years, this group and our event sponsors, have grown to a group of 200 or more participants. What began in 2005 in the mountains of Aspen, Colorado, drifted to Santa Barbara, then Charleston and New Orleans stateside. Before,

Thomas Callawaythomascallaway.com

we shipped out for destinations overseas. Now these summits have met in Venice, Copenhagen, Morocco, Berlin, and New York City. 2014 took us for the first time to South America, where we gathered in the magical and unforgettable Buenos Aires, Argentina.

I suspect that travel is the perfect tonic for an inquisitive mind, and although these Design Conference trips have not been as relaxing as less strenuous vacations might be, the wealth of information and experiences they provide make up for the non-

stop pace and long days packed with programs and side trips. Every city we have visited has its special qualities making it memorable. I would be hard pressed to choose a favorite. The varying styles of architecture and interiors from city to city, country to country, make for an endless visual feast for all of us to digest. From the Spanish Colonial Revival architecture of Santa Barbara to the French Quarter of New Orleans, the narrow row house of Charleston to the water’s edge palaces of Venice’s Grand Canal. It was a thrill to get behind the inner courtyard walls in Marrakesh, and shocking to see the incongruous juxtaposition of war scarred buildings in Berlin, wedged right next to brutally sleek and clean contemporary structures, recently built. And I won’t soon forget the charms of Buenos Aires with its tango dancing inhabitants, or the wide boulevards between Beaux Arts houses reminding me of Paris, while they exist only a quick plane hop away from the rugged wilderness of Patagonia.

Perhaps the highlight of these memorable events was my stay in Berlin, where I requested to speak to our Design Leadership group about my dreams and accomplishments throughout

my life in the arts…from my artist life of painting and printmaking as a young man, to acting and directing in film and theater in my 20’s and 30’s, to designing homes for clients from coast to coast over these past twenty-five years. I was thrilled to deliver this presentation on the stage of the remarkable auditorium of Frank Gehry’s DZ Bank building in Berlin’s city center. Under sky lit shards of glimmering clear glass suspended in bundles from the ceiling of this great hall, I described the ups and downs of my life-long pursuit of making art. From acting in theater, movies, and television, to designing residences and interiors for remarkable homes across America, to designing chairs, sofas, and other furniture for well known clients from movie stars to Rock and Rollers. Most recently I’ve designed a line of fabrics, wall coverings, rugs and tiles, to be sold to designers around the world. I’ve also been an antiques collector since I was a kid, moving from one collecting category of interest to another, probably depending on my age, and what was fascinating me in my life at the moment.

All these travel experiences from boyhood camping with my family in Wisconsin, to college years abroad studying art in Amsterdam and Paris, to years living as an actor in New

York, and finally moving West to Hollywood. Since the early ‘80s I’ve made many excursions to my beloved New Mexico, and now, over the last decade, I‘ve enjoyed the artistic growth from seeing more of the world and all it holds to savor and enjoy. For me, other than family and friends, it’s the stuff that makes life worth living.

So if you haven’t already, in the near future, hit the road for somewhere near or far. And keep your eyes peeled for the “gold in them, thar hills!” I think you will find there is beauty in almost anything, if you search out its presence, lurking there, somewhere behind the obvious. Good Hunting!

Marrakesh, Morrocco

Arles, France

DZ Bank, Berlin

Buenos Aires, Argentina

Culture


Music & Theater

Write A Review.Email [email protected] with your suggestion for a show you would like to review for us, and we will give you more details.

All American Rejects – Acoustic 22/29 October, 9.30pmThe All-American Rejects, which lead singer, bassist, and lyricist Tyson Ritter and his long-time friend guitarist Nick Wheeler formed as teenagers in Stillwater, Oklahoma, scored their first international hit, “Gives You Hell,” which also spent four weeks at No. 1 at Top 40 radio, became the No. 1 most-played song of 2009. With their most recent album, Kids In The Street, the consensus from the fans seemed to be that it sounded more like their first album. Ritter has said, “That alone makes me feel like if you were a Rejects fan and maybe have disconnected with us along our journey, Kids In The Street will be the album that reels you back in. And if you’ve stuck around, then thanks for growing up with us. Because that’s what we’ve been doing for the last ten years —growing up. Audibly.” Tickets: $28The Hotel Cafe, 1623 1/2 N. Cahuenga Blvd, CA 90028hotelcafe.com

The Magic Flute8-12 October, 7.30pmMozart’s masterpiece about love and redemption is boldly re-imagined South African style in this exhilarating, life-affirming opera that is “for everyone aged eight to eighty” (Sunday Telegraph). Winner of the Olivier Award for “Best Musical Revival in London” and co-produced by Eric Abraham, Isango’s The Magic Flute is a dizzying array of marimbas, swirling dancers, and brightly patterned costumes. The twenty singers, many of who come from Cape Town’s surrounding townships, pack enough vocal energy to raise the roof, and leave you with “a rare sense of life-enhancing joy” (Sunday Times, UK).The Broad Stage, 1310 11th Street Santa Monica, CA 90401T: 310 434 3200 thebroadstage.com

Rosanne Cash: The River and the Thread2 October, 8:00 PM“Cash matches styles to stories, showing her mastery of Southern music’s many dialects...the overall effect of the album’s gentle turns is rich and deep, like the rivers that define Cash’s trajectory.” — NPRRoyce Hall$29 - $59 ($15 UCLA students)cap.ucla.edu

Naomi Klein30 September 7:30PM The award-winning journalist and global best-selling author Naomi Klein tackles the most profound threat humanity has ever faced: the war our economic model is waging against life on earth. Klein is the author of international best-seller No Logo She is a contributing editor for Harper’s and reporter for Rolling Stone. In 2004, her reporting

ABC5 October, 7pm80s fans, sing along with Martin Fry and his UK band ABC. Their annoyingly catchy pop tunes include: “Tears Are Not Enough,” “Poison Arrow,” “The Look of Love (Part One),” “Ocean Blue,” “When Smokey Sings,” “King Without A Crown,”. Tickets: $39 / $49 / $75The Canyon Club, 28912 Roadside Dr, Agoura, CA 91301canyonclub.net

Way Over Yonder26 and 27 September 4:30pm/2pm Jacksone Browne and Lucinda Williams are part of the great line up of this folk/singer songwriter 2 day event at Santa Monica Pier.Tickets $40/$86wayoveryonder.net

from Iraq for Harper’s won the James Aronson Award for Social Justice Journalism. Her new book, This Changes Everything, was released in September 2014.Hammer10899 Wilshire Blvd. CA 90025hammer.ucla.edu

focusmag.us 35

Current Exhibitions

Culture

Light & Noir23 October 2014 – 1 March 2015The exhibition highlights the émigré actors, directors, writers, and composers who were refugees from Nazi persecution in Europe—focusing on their subsequent contributions to American cinema and culture.

Film directors from German-speaking countries—such luminaries as Henry Koster, Fritz Lang, Otto Preminger, Billy Wilder, and Fred Zinnemann—made their way to California via Berlin, Paris, and London, and shaped the look of Hollywood’s “Golden Age.” Already established émigrés, such as the director Ernst Lubitsch, the actress Marlene Dietrich, and the agent Paul Kohner, helped the new exiles and émigrés find their path in Hollywood.

Different genres in which the European émigrés were especially productive, such as the exile film, the anti-Nazi film, film noir, and comedy, are highlighted. These include such classics as Ninotchka (1939), Sunset Boulevard (1950), and Casablanca (1942). On view are costumes worn by Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman, Paul Henreid, Marlene Dietrich, and Joan Crawford, as well as one of Billy Wilder’s Academy Awards, Ernst Lubitsch’s twenty-five year anniversary album, the Max Factor Scroll of Fame, and furniture from the set of Rick’s Café in Casablanca. Skirball 2701 Sepulveda Blvd. CA 90049 T: 310 440-4500skirball.org

Expressionism: Van Gogh To KandinskyLAST CHANCE: Till 14 SeptemberThe extraordinary response of artists in Germany and France to key developments in modern art in the early 20th century. For the first time in a major museum exhibition, Expressionism is presented as an international movement in which artists responded with various aesthetic approaches to the work of modern masters such as Vincent van Gogh, Paul Cézanne, and Paul Gauguin.

The exhibition features Post-Impressionist, Fauvist, and Cubist paintings by more than 40 artists—including Cézanne, van Gogh, Gauguin, Henri Matisse, Robert Delaunay, and Paul Signac. Ninety paintings and 45 works on paper tell the story of the extraordinary cultural dialogue taking place amongst artists of the time. Tickets: $25LACMA 5905 Wilshire Blvd. Los Angeles CA 90036T: 323 857-6000 lacma.org

Camey McGilvray, Pam Douglas, Ernie MarjoramTill 27 SeptemberArtist Talk: Sept 20-27, 5pmTAG @ BergamotTues. - Sat., 11am-5pmSun., 12 pm-4pm 2525 Michigan Ave., D3, Santa Monica, CA 90404T: 310 829-9556taggallery.net

Pam Douglas, The Four Phases

Photo: P

hotofest

Sunset Blvd. (1950). Photographer Glen E. Richardson.

Robert Heinecken: Object MatterOpening 3 OctoberThe first retrospective of the work of Robert Heinecken since his death in 2006. The exhibition covers four decades of the artist’s remarkable practice, from the early 1960s through the late 1990s. Describing himself as a “para-photographer,” because his work stood “beside” or “beyond” traditional ideas associated with photography, Heinecken was a self-taught photographer and pioneer in the postwar Los Angeles art scene. Hammer 10899 Wilshire BoulevardLos Angeles, CA 90024(310) 443-7000 hammer.ucla.edu


Kids

CALIFORNIA SCIENCE CENTER

In my opinion there isn’t a better day trip for kids in LA then the California Science Center. We usually make a day of it and take

the Expo line from Culver City to the Exposition Park stop. The Science Center is across the street from the USC campus and features a beautiful rose garden and huge fountain at its entrance. It really does have it all - a huge aquarium you can walk through and interesting exhibits that you can touch and interact with. There are four major

exhibit areas: World of Life, Creative World, Ecosystems, and Air and Space. Each area also has a Family Discovery room for toddlers where they can play and explore if the exhibits are too mature for them. A huge draw for children of all ages is the Space Shuttle Endeavor. Housed in it’s own building - you can get up close and personal with the space vehicle and learn about its history.

The best part – admission is free and the center is open 362 days a year! There is a donation box near the stairs and we usually put in

$5 per family member. The only downside is that there aren’t a ton of food options - but packing a picnic and eating it in the rose garden is a favorite for little ones.

Expo Line - www.metro.net

California Science Center - 700 Exposition Park, Los Angeles 90037 T: 323.724.3623www.californiasciencecenter.org

27 September: 7.30pmWizard of Oz at the Drive inAges: 4+ Cost: $7.50The closest thing to a drive in is just a short drive away. Electric Dusk Drive-In presents “Family Night at the Drive-In” and the movie is the 75th anniversary special screening of the classic “The Wizard of Oz”. Electric Dusk Drive-In, 1000 San Julian St., electricduskdrivein.com

4-5 October: 9am-6pmPumpkin FestivalAges: 2-8 Cost: $12Pumpkins are the theme for the Fall Festival at Underwood Family Farms. Every weekend from now till Halloween there will be tractor-drawn wagon rides, the corn maze & hay pyramids, the Animal Center, Craig’s Chicken Show, Kid’s Corral & play area PLUS live bands, the Animal Show, Pig Races & more. Underwood Farms, 3370 Sunset Valley Rd., Moorpark

11 October: 11am-1pmOpen Day at Santa Monica AirportAges: All ages Cost: FREEThe ultimate field trip to the Santa Monica Airport observation deck. Kids can sit inside a real airplane, play with the controls and take a photo with a pilot. Santa Monica Airport Observation Deck, 3233 Donald Douglas Loop, Santa Monica santamonicaairport.com/field-trip

19 October: 11am and 3pmVisit Walt Disney’s Carolwood Barn Ages: All ages Cost: Free (donation)Walt Disney’s Barn Museum, the original Santa Fe & Disneyland Combine Coach, and Ollie Johnston’s Victorian Train Depot, are open for public once a month. Informative volunteer Barn Crew members are on hand to describe the history and contents. Often, Disney veterans and Legends drop by for chats and autographs. Carolwood Barn, 5202 Zoo Dr., Los Angeles carolwood.com

Till 2 November: 9.30am-5pmSpider PavilionAll ages Cost: $17On the Museum’s South Lawn, spiders freely spin their spectacular webs for all to see. Amazing, with just the right amount of creepiness in time for Halloween. The museum’s knowledgeable staff is there to guide your experience, and answer all questions and make you a little more comfortable with these 8 legged arachnids. Natural History Museum, 900 Exposition Blvd., Los Angeles nhm.org

CahniclesThe Adventures of the Cahn Family

1THINGS TO DO

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5Kim Cahn left her television producer job to be a full time mom to Olive (4) and Buster (1). She writes about their family activities on her blog http://andrewjr.com. Watch this space for Kim Cahn’s family adventure next month!

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Events

EventsCurated by Leila Najafi

Leila Najafi is the LA Marketing Manager for Eventbrite, an online ticketing and event discovery website. Stay connected with her so you’ll be in the know about upcoming events and ticket discounts.

Twitter: @BriteLAFacebook: facebook.com/EventbriteLAInstagram: EventbriteLA

More info, and tickets for all the events at eventbrite.com

Sunset Strip Music FestivalNow in its 6th year the KROQ sponsored two day festival has a great lineup and features Jane’s Addiction, Kaiser Chiefs, Empire of the Sun and Cold War Kids. Tickets: $75/125.9000 Sunset Boulevard, West Hollywood, CA 9006920 and 21 September, 2-11pm

Neon DashA 5K night time run where participants are covered in neon colors from head to toe.18400 S Avalon Blvd, Carson, CA 9074627 September 6-11pm

Indie CadeThe IndieCade Festival is the biggest independent game celebration in the nation. Tickets: $30/$4459300 Culver Blvd, Culver City, CA 902329 -12 October, 9am-6pm.

LA Beer FestFeaturing over 150 beers, food trucks, DJ, live music, and more surprises. $40 for general admission and $50 for VIP. Beer samplings and food.Los Angeles Center Studios, 1201 W 5th St, #T-110Los Angeles, CA 9001718 October, 12-4pm

Los Angeles Magazine Food EventThe ninth annual culinary extravaganza featuresdemonstrations by celebrity chefs, samples from over 40 top L.A. restaurants, wine tastings from 20+ wineries, a beer garden, spirits and cocktail tastings and book signings.Saddlerock Ranch, Malibu, 31727 Mulholland HwyMalibu, CA 9026519 October, 2-5pm

Woman To WomanFocus Events presents a special evening to raise awareness for the Women Like Us Foundation. E! Network’s Catt Sadler is scheduled to appear. Complimentary artisan foods and drinks, makeovers, ‘Last Drop’ water challenge and more... Tiato, 2700 Colorado Ave, Santa Monica, CA 9040428 October, 6.30-9.30pm

Childrens BooksChosen by Veronica Majd

Underworld : Exploring the Secret World Beneath Your Feet Written by Jane Price and Illustrated by James Gulliver HancockAges 9-12Look down at your feet and you can see what you are standing on, (concrete, sand, grass). What you cannot see is what’s hidden beneath the earth’s surface. This non-fiction, ecological book covers the world’s complex mysteries of underground caves, tombs, mines, farms, science labs and more! Includes vivid illustrations and photographs.

The Spy Catchers of Maple Hill Written by Megan Frazer BaltimoreAges 8-12It’s 1953, during the Cold War-McCarthy era. Hazel Kaplansky and her new friend, Samuel Butler, begin to spy on a man who is rumored to be a Russian agent in their small town. As Hazel investigates, she discovers more secrets about the townspeople and her own friend, Samuel.

Ladybug Girl Written by David Soman and Jacky DavisAges 4-7While her parents work around the house and her older brother says she’s too little to play with, Lulu still manages to enjoy playing outside with her dog, Bingo. Dressed in a red tutu, head antennas and red-and-black polka-dot wings -

Lulu uses her imagination, creativity and the surrounding nature to satisfy her playtime.

Jedi Academy: Return of the PadawanWritten by Jeffrey BrownAges 9-12The graphic novel’s sequel. Roan Novachez enters his second year at Jedi Academy expecting no problems. Instead, he discovers star pilot training is difficult, minacious robots, online bullies, peer pressure to cheat in a lightsaber tournament and entering the dark side! To make matters worse, the list includes a girl who is mad at him.

A Splendid Friend, IndeedWritten by Suzanne BloomAges 2-5A picture book story about a bear who is reading and minding his own business, when suddenly a chatty goose comes along the way. Despite both having different qualities and personalities, its touching to learn how they become friends. A tale which discloses how individuality and friendship can coexist, despite our differences.

Veronica Majd is the children’s librarian at Donald Bruce Kaufman - Brentwood Branch. For comments, suggestions, questions or follow-ups, please email her at [email protected]


Preferred Vendors

Betsi Ewing, Wedding + Lifestyle Photographer, Owner of Betsi Ewing StudioBetsi is a wedding and lifestyle photographer who spends her time jet setting between California and New York City. Her work has been featured on the top wedding blogs in the industry including; Style Me Pretty, Green Wedding Shoes, 100 Layer Cake, Ruffled and The Knot. Her images have also been featured in The Huffington Post, GQ, The New York Times, Refinery 29, and Lonny Magazine. Her style is a mix of documentary and artistic, with a dash of fashion and thought towards styling. She is happy to travel the globe

for weddings, shoots and pretty pictures and is always ready for the next adventure, camera in hand! Instagram: @[email protected]

Lesley Bodwell + Rhonda Santora – Co-Owners and Cake artists of Frost It CupcakeryWith passion and a pinch of sugar, this dynamic duo is nothing short of sweet! Combining artistry and culinary perfection, they are leading the way in delicious delicacies. From wedding cakes to dessert bars, these ladies are always on trend and never short on taste. Unique,

custom designs will coordinate beautifully with any event. They have been featured in 805 Living Magazine, Westlake Malibu Magazine and are the proud recipients of the coveted 1st Place “Yummie” Award at the Casa Pacifica Food and Wine Festival.Instagram: @frostitcakeryfrostitcupcakery.comorders@frostitcupcakery

Sharon Lopez, Owner and Lead Designer of Knot Just FlowersLeading the way in creating unique one of a kind floral designs and event styling in the wedding industry. Her passion speaks for her creativity. Sharon has been featured on Style Me

Pretty, Green Wedding Shoes, Style Unveiled and Wedding Chicks.Instagram: @[email protected]

Aidan Simko – Owner of One Up EntertainmentOne Up Entertainment is a full service event production firm, which offers turnkey solutions for any special occasion worthy of a celebration. From DJs/MCs, to lighting, decor, dancers and live entertainment, they turn visions and dreams into a reality. Their philosophy is to provide not just a party, but a unique experience that will last a lifetime.

A FALL PARTY | Tali Marchefka

focusmag.us 39

Start early and ask yourself these 6 questions; What is the date? How many guests will be there? What is the location? What type of party will it be? What is your budget? Is there going to be music or entertainment? Build your vision. Come up with a unique theme for your event. For this particular event I chose

a “Fall in Love” themed party. I wanted to capture the regal side of Fall – a season not just filled with whimsy, but also grace. My vision was to highlight the bounty of fall through both the food and décor. I mixed amber tones with a blush pink and added some rose gold for that romantic flare. Themed parties are always more fun and will really wow your guests.

I stopped by Pretty Vintage Rentals showroom in Westlake Village and picked out some timeless charming pieces. I fell in love with the stunning amber and pink pressed glass goblets, amber pedestal bowls for florals, beautiful gold mirror trays and florentine trays, as well as some statement furniture for desserts, drinks and a vintage farmhouse table to complete my vision of creating a romantic ambiance.

Next, you want to think about serving a signature cocktail that ties in with your theme. Cocktail parties are the least expensive and most versatile. For this particular party I decided to make a “spiked apple cider”, which highlighted an apple cider mix, champagne, and vodka. I used milk jugs and a beverage dispenser to create a drink station, I then tied cinnamon sticks using twine to each mini vintage milk jug for a special touch. Consider a food selection that ties in with your theme and budget. Dinner was a hearty family style with heavy hors devours to start.

For dessert, the amazing Frost It Cupcakery created a delectable naked vanilla cake with crystallized ginger layered with pomegranate buttercream. To incorporate the fall theme, the cake was adorned with little metallic acorns.

For florals, the uber talented Sharon Lopez from Knot Just Flowers created gorgeous arrangements with loose fall greens, amber flowers with a lot of texture in crystal glass vases. She wanted to incorporate dried flowers into the arrangements and bouquets to reflect the harvest aspect of fall.

On the table, I chose a pretty rose table runner with white organic napkins. Ceramic plates sat upon antique books used as chargers. I also brought in a variety of staging props such as decorative pumpkins in orange and gold, tons of candles, apples, pumpkins, pomegranates and sprigs of fall leaves and acorns.

Now its time to get crafty. Once you have answers to the basic questions, and you have decided on a theme, the framework for your party is in place -- the time, place, and style have been established. Now use this information to figure out the “pretty lil details”. Be creative and think outside the box. The type of party will dictate what you need for equipment, the season can inspire the menu, and the budget will factor into whether or not you use a caterer. Outside of that, be creative and tailor a party you would want to attend. And remember that organization is key to make hosting a breeze!

{Pretty lil Details} is a seasoned Celebration Planning + Styling company owned by the talented Tali Marchefka. From girls dinner parties, to backyard BBQs, to charity events, not to mention weddings as well as Bar Mizvahs- Tali will ensure those thoughtful occasions turn into treasured memories; leaving your friends, family, and loved ones breathless + raving about them for years to come. {Pretty lil Details} specializes in adding those “special” finishing touches to your party. Everything from - chalkboard signage, decorative party favors, or cutesie desserts, Tali will make your party unforgettable. Her goal is to ensure that the “pretty little details” stands out and mirrors each client’s personality. After all, it is the little things in life that mean the most- that is what Pretty lil Details is all about.

[email protected]: @detailsbytali

Instagram: @[email protected] Candice Burroughs and Debbie Walton, Co-owners of Pretty Vintage Table Pretty Vintage Table is a boutique rental company giving you a personal experience because each person has a unique vision for their day. From tabletop place settings and centerpieces to specialty furniture, each piece is one of a kind, adding that perfect amount of classic elegance and charm. prettyvintagetable.comInstagram @[email protected]

A Fall PartyPlanning a Fall themed party? Here are some tips from event stylist Tali Marchefka

Food

Tali Marchefka

Preparing An Outdoor Fall PartyText focus to 313131 to watch the video.focusmag.us/tv/talimarchefka


How to Keep the Spark Alive, with BrunchAs a married woman I have to admit that I often look forward to weekend brunch. It’s my “me” time that’s easily justified, as it is “work” - sorta. But every once in a while (mainly when Kate is off on some brunch date, playing darts somewhere) I tell the hubby to throw on his Sunday best and we go out for pancakes. It’s a good time to relax before tackling those looming to-do’s (more cat food from Costco, dry cleaner, change the oil…). After a few cocktails we are laughing, pushing back the baby timeline and throwing a nap into the agenda! While I reserve brunch mainly for the ladies I must admit that a pancake and mimosa might be the trick to wedded bliss. One place I can always easily drag the old ball and chain to? The Fairmont’s Fig, offers a $35 Kegs and Eggs option which includes an entrée and bottomless draft beer. – Leah

Best Brunch Date SpotsHungry Cat Santa Monica Canyon100 W. Channel RoadSanta Monica, California 90402Phone: (310) 459-3337Hours: 11:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m.

Bottega Louie Downtown Los Angeles700 S Grand AveLos Angeles, CA 90017Phone: (213) 802-1470Hours: 9:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m.

A.O.C. Los Angeles8700 West 3rd StreetLos Angeles, California 90048Phone: (310) 859-9859Hours: 11:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m.

Tavern Brentwood11648 San Vicente BlvdLos Angeles, CA 90049Phone: (310) 806-6464Hours: 11:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m.

Geoffrey’s Malibu27400 Pacific Coast HwyMalibu, CA 90265 (310) 457-1519Hours: 10:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m.

Diaries of a Single BruncherBeing newly single, I am already getting bored of the same

ol’ first date ideas. Dinner, drinks, a movie. I figured I would take matters into my own hands and convince a lucky gentleman to take me on a brunch date. At least I knew if things went south, I would be doing something I love, brunching. So without telling this poor sucker guy that I would be writing an article detailing and judging his every move, I suggested a brunch date. No doubt wanting to seem “easy-going,” he agreed. He even said he would pick the spot without asking for my input! Nothing is worse than a guy who cannot make decisions - 1 point for him. He ended up picking the Charleston in Santa Monica (which is where we both live). Although this brunch would not have been my first choice, (I was secretly hoping for something local and chic, without being overly formal, like the Tavern in Brentwood or Hungry Cat in Santa Monica), I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I mean, I just said I like a guy who can make a decision, right? And let’s face it, he’s a (straight) guy and he heard ‘bottomless’. I chose to wear a casual sundress with flats. On brunch dates you don’t have to worry about how formal the restaurant is, or decide between flats or heels. This comes in handy when you cannot recall exactly how tall your date is or you have been burned one too many times with men saying they are “6’0” on Tinder, when they are not a hair over 5’9.

Live jazz played as we wandered into the restaurant, busy with tables of friends casually chatting over mimosas. The menu featured mostly meat items. After I mentioned I was a pescetarian, he was a good sport and ordered all of the non-meat items for us to share – which included sharing two grilled cheese for brunch. On that rainy Sunday morning, I was in heaven. Likely realizing we were on a first date, the waiter saw to it that I never saw the bottom of my champagne flute. Bottomless mimosas basically eliminates the first date cocktail dilemma (Have I ordered too many drinks, do I look like an alcoholic? Are the cocktails expensive? Has he had 5 drinks? Is he an alcoholic!?). It’s bottomless, so who’s counting?

Conversation flowed nicely and by 2 p.m. we had finished our grilled cheese and champagne brunch. Because he had hardly mentioned his ex-girlfriend, we decided to keep the date going by walking down the street for a Bloody Mary and darts. All in all, I’ll chalk this one up to a success, and a welcome vacation from the appetizers and drinks (or worse, meeting for a coffee) first date. – Kate

A ROMANTIC BRUNCH | LA Brunchers

A Romantic BrunchBRUNCH

LA BrunchersKate Roland and Leah Smith are LA’s premier brunch authorities. They are supportive of restaurants with integrity, which highlight farm fresh ingredients and locally sourced items.labrunchers.com

Hungry Cat

Bottega Louie

A.O.C.

Tavern

focusmag.us 41

OPENINGS

Food

BRILLIANTSHINE

A bar and restaurant in a converted house, Brilliantshine is now open in Santa Monica. Chef Richie Lopez’s comfort-driven dishes feature the flavors he cultivated while working under Ricardo Zarate, chef at Mo Chica, Picca and Paiche. The menu includes chicken wings made with gochujang and aji amarillo, red snapper crudo with white soy sauce and peaches, and a uni rice dish with lobster.Brilliantshine 522 Wilshire Blvd., Santa Monica, T: (310) 451-0045 thebrilliantshine.com

News

THE NICE GUY

With its 70s/80s inspired decor, ‘mafia-themed’ The Nice Guy has plenty of quirky goodfella touches like a photoboard of crime bosses and a vintage tape recorder. An Italian inspired menu sports the obligatory meatballs but also duck banh mi pizza. Cocktails come in flasks. Made to order doughnuts for dessert. The Nice Guy 401 N. La Cienega Blvd., West Hollywood, T: (310) 360-9500, theniceguyla.com

COMMISSARY

Roy Choi’s Commissary is housed inside a massive greenhouse on the rooftop deck of The Line hotel, right beside the pool. Commissary focuses on vegetables –describing the restaurant as a, ‘homage to all the people and families here in So Cal that work on farms to bring food to our tables’. Commissary 3515 Wilshire Blvd, CA 90010 T: 213 381 7411thelinehotel.com/commissary

DUNKIN DONUTS

Dunkin’ Donuts returned to California, opening its first store in Santa Monica. Fans camped overnight for a first taste at the grand opening on 2 September. Compared to Starbucks, it’s cheap too. Four medium coffee coolatas and a half dozen donuts will get you change from $20.Dunkin Donuts 1132 Wilshire Blvd., Santa Monica, CA 90401T: (310) 576-9200dunkindonuts.com

VEGAN OKTOBERFEST4 October, 1-6pmThe world’s first Vegan Oktoberfest will be coming to Santa Monica so get your lederhosen and beer steins ready.

Vegan Oktoberfest won’t be too different from your average Bavarian celebration—there will be live traditional German music, stein-holding contests, Bavarian maidens, and oompah bands. However, the twist is that you’ll be getting a sweet selection of vegan craft beer and dishes. And it will be held in a shaded area, with picnic tables and panoramic views

of the ocean.Although most beer is vegan, there are some breweries that

use animal products in the process of making the brews. The Fest will have breweries like Hangar 24, Golden Road Brewing, Modern Times, Drakes Brewing, Saint Archer and more, pouring their vegan beers. There will even be ACE Cider for those folks who are on a gluten-free diet.

Sage Organic Vegan Bistro and Southern Fried Vegan will be whipping up vegan German treats like potato pancakes, beer brats, and German-style pretzels. L.A. food truck staples like the Grilled Cheese Truck, Dogtown Dogs and Green Truck will be creating their own plant-based meals for the masses as well.

Tickets: $45, which includes a beer stein and unlimited beer from 1 p.m. to 6 p.m. VIP Ticket: $65 gets you in an hour earlier from noon to 6 p.m. 2600 Barnard Way, Santa Monica, CA 90405.veganoktoberfest.com

YOUR MEAL IS GOING TO COST 3% MOREFrom 1 September, Tavern, Lucques and A.O.C will add a 3% surcharge to customer’s checks to cover their employee healthcare costs. Lucques Group owners, Suzanne Goin and Caroline Styne, also said Rustic Canyon, The Hungry Cat and Melisse would be doing the same. In a press release, the restaurant owners stated:“The major point is that this is not a political statement or endorsement of any kind. We are doing this because, quite frankly, we believe it’s the right thing to do...”

FOOD ISSUE

10/28/14


The Passion of CompassionWNING A DOG IS AT THE TOP OF ALMOST EVERY CHILD’S WISH LIST. This is a huge decision many parents choose to forego, often

taking the goldfish route, or hoping that peeking at fluffy puppies through the pet store window will suffice. Jackie Goodman, a Los Angeles Pilates Plus instructor, and mom of two grade school children, decided to grant this wish for real. The Goodmans were all set to acquire a dog from a woman who no longer wanted it. When they went to get the dog, the woman had changed her mind. Imagine the look on Jackie’s kids faces. You know that look, and you know the inner beast that is a mom, now willing to conquer anything in her path to turn those heart breaking frowns into happiness. A friend told her about an amazing website, Petfinder.com. “The first dog that came up was named Penny Lane and it was love at first sight. I had to have her!” said Jackie. “She was at a rescue called Saving K9 Lives Plus in Encino, close to my home. I called them immediately.”

Saving K9 Lives Plus is a nonprofit animal rescue. It was founded in 2011 by owners Jasmin Kimball, a former model and actress, and Bobby Kimball, the lead singer for the group Toto. They adopted their first dog in 2005, and they saw firsthand the dire needs of animal shelters. They now devote much of their lives to provide public awareness of the growing population of homeless animals, and animals being euthanized. If they arrive at the crowded shelters too ill or injured to be considered adoptable, they are soon euthanized. Jasmin and Bobby began fostering and finding homes for these special needs dogs. They host annual fundraising concerts called K9 Crusade, bringing together many well known musicians, including Bobby of course, and an amazing auction of donated goodies to help fund the medical costs for the ailing dogs.

PENNY LANEThe Goodmans did adopt Penny Lane ten months ago from Jasmin and Bobby’s rescue. She was recovering from a severe dog bite wound and an ear infection, and could not go home with the Goodmans until she was healthy. Jackie and her children, Max, age 9 and Ashley, age 12, went to visit Penny Lane every day after school. The children learned how to take care of her as well as the other dogs in the rescue.

By the time the Goodmans brought Penny Lane home they already knew that fostering was in their blood. They have since fostered 8 dogs and helped find homes for at least 10. Max and Ashley have been profoundly affected by the experience. Ashley did all of her school’s Community Service requirement by helping Jasmin. She walked, bathed, and helped care for the dogs at the rescue, helped out with paperwork, and helped with the “K9 Crusade” Fundraiser. “One of the best stories,” Jackie recalls, “Jasmine called last summer, and asked me to go to the shelter

with her to see a poodle named Abbie, ‘She’s terrified, hiding in the corner, she’s going to be euthanized,’ said Jasmine, ‘I think she’d be a good foster for you, but you have to bring your son Max. If the dog is freaking out and terrified of kids you can’t take her.’ So Max, my mom, and I met Jasmine at the shelter. Abbie was terrified, dirty, and just a mess. I said, ‘Max, do you want to hold her?’, and he looked at me, and I took the dog, and put her in Max’s arms, and she just melted into his arms, like ‘Oh my god, thank you for holding me’. My mom and I were in tears, because this dog was shaking and terrified and crying, and then the minute Max held her she just went like “ahhhhh”. And it was the greatest thing. We took her home, and she literally hid in the corner. We fed her and she ate like she hadn’t had food in a year! By the second night she wanted to come upstairs and sleep in our bed, she would not be downstairs alone. Luckily my husband Steven loves the fosters as much as we do! She was the greatest dog. We fostered Abbie for a while, got her bathed and cleaned up, and then she was adopted by a lovely woman. It was amazing to see her before and after – it made me realize why I do this.”

THE HUMAN CONNECTIONJackie has seen the biggest difference in young Max, “He’s become so much gentler and empathetic. At first Jasmin was a little afraid of him with the small dogs, and now she just says “Ok, go take the dogs”, because he’s so amazing with them. It used to be just Ashley, but now when I say I have to go to Jasmin’s, Max says “I’m coming! I want to go see the dogs!” Because I think that experience with Abbie changed him. I think he really saw the connection between a human and a dog and how it can change a dog’s life.”

Changing dog’s lives is obviously changing the Goodman’s lives. Since adopting Penny Lane ten months ago, Jackie has been named a board member of Saving K9 Lives Plus. She devotes many hours to helping Jasmin and Bobby with their quest to save more dogs from being euthanized. “My first statement would be, PLEASE adopt, don’t buy a dog!” says Goodman, “If people saw what the puppy mill dogs go through, they sit in cages their entire life, just breeding and breeding them. By the time they’re five or six years old they are so worn out they can’t breed anymore, so they put them to sleep or dump them. And people buy these little puppies at pet stores or at breeders and have no idea what the mommies went through. It’s miserable. That’s why I love before and after pictures because people look at rescue dogs like they’re dirty or, oh, they have this or that. Give them a month of love and they’re amazing.”

Jasmin Kimball and Bobby Kimball

Jackie Goodman

Max with terrified Abbie

Ashley and Penny Lane

For more information on adopting a pet, becoming a foster, or making any kind of donation, please visit Jasmin and Bobby Kimball’s website: savingk9livesplus.org. The K9 Crusade annual fundraiser page: k9crusade.org

O

THE PASSION OF COMPASSION | Felicia Waldman

focusmag.us 43

DOG ADOPTION | 10/2014

EDGARMale 7yr old

Chinese Crested mix

Sweet as pie, loves everything and

everyone.

GILBERTFemale 3yr old

Schnauzer Xolo mix

Sweet with people, will do best with a

submissive dog. He is a very good dog.

PORSCHAFemale 4 yr old Poodle

Two compressing discs have made her back legs paralyzed but Porscha gets around great with the new wheelchair for her hind legs. Her family gave her up because they could not take care of her. She is really sweet and would love to

have a new, caring family. Porscha has a Facebook page – Porscha Diva on Wheels

These cute dogs were rescued from area shelters and are in need of love, hugs, and a HOME! Focus Magazine , together with Saving K9 Lives Plus, will proudly donate the full adoption fee paid by anyone choosing to add one of these adorable pets to their family, enabling this amazing organization to rescue another dog. With your help we can save twice the number of dogs on this page! As an added bonus, Focus magazine will feature your new, precious family member in an upcoming issue.

savingk9livesplus.org

CAIDENFemale 2yr old

Jack Russell Terrier

A wonderful, sweet girl loves people

and dogs.

Rescue these wonderful dogs today with Focus Magazine’s pledge to #payitforwardFind out more from: Jackie Goodman [email protected]

Read each dog’s story at focusmag.us/focuscares

NATASHAFemale 18 mths old Chinese Crested mix

(Mom)Very, very sweet

and playful

NAOMIFemale 6-8 mths old Chinese Crested mix

(Daughter)Very sweet and

playful, just a little shy. Both girls are super bonded and need to be adopted

together.

GOOSEMale 5 yr old Chinese

Crested mix

Very sweet. Great with people, dogs

and cats. Born with a birth defect and has a deformed right arm.

Dogs In Need of A Home

9/13/14Sing For The Voiceless

Jasmin and Bobby Kimball, congratulations on putting on such a great event!

FEATURED DOG


even more vulnerable if it isn’t going well. A few early disappointments could leave you feeling bleak about your future dating prospects.

One positive thing that the painful process of divorce taught me was that it put the fear of God in me of screwing up and making a huge mess again. It has made me work a hell of a lot harder in my second marriage than my first. Marriage is work, as we all know, but it’s also a living breathing entity that affects many more lives than just the immediate couple’s. Getting a divorce is a nightmarish process, no matter how evolved you are. It just is and it’s designed to be that way as a deterrent.

When you’re not in pain every moment, when you’ve stopped thinking about, obsessing or railing against your ex, then you might be ready. Everybody is on their own unique timetable. Only you know when you’re ready. Why rush? There will always be people to date. Men often jump back in quickly but giving yourself the necessary time to grieve and process the complexities of your new life pays great dividends. Ease back in slowly and be gentle with yourself. Easy does it and remember – Tinder isn’t a great plan for the newly single!

Tara Ellisontaraellison.com

Divorce shakes you up radically and there’s no way around it. Even if you were the initiating party or you saw the split as inevitable, it’s still a cataclysmic event. Your entire way of being is changing drastically and you will need time to ground yourself and process your “uncoupling”.

Who we become when we are divorcing is not who we truly are. Divorce isn’t for the faint of heart. It is an ugly process that rarely involves any dignity. Lawyers and other strangers are reading court papers dissecting your flaws and the history of your married life. To endure these trials and assaults we become a shadow of our true selves. It is not until we come out the other side that we can start to see how far from our best selves we may have been. It’s very hard to create a new romance from that place. Divorce is in many ways the loss of a dream and healing the heart takes time.

Once you’re well into your second chapter, a divorce can ultimately lead to a lot of beneficial personal growth. It’s an opportunity to redefine your goals and what you might eventually require in a future partner. But dating is something to put off in the beginning. While you might like to think you’re ready for it, it will likely compound whatever else you are feeling. Dating adds excitement and distraction – and who isn’t desperate for a distraction? But it also adds uncertainty to what is already a tumultuous time and that comes with a high emotional price tag. Plunging back into the dating pool too quickly can make you

Second Acts: How do you know if you’re ready to date again after a divorce?

SECOND ACTS | Tara Ellison

Tinder isn’t a great

plan for the newly

single!

“You know, I’m a single, sober mother. And, that says a lot – those words right there: single, sober mother at 40. Ok…why? where did it all come from? And I’m not afraid to show all that.”– Eden Sassoon (Focus, April 2014) focusmag.us/eden

APRIL 2014

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S T Y L E D I N I N G F I T N E S S I N T E R V I E W S P E R F O R M A N C E A R T

EDEN SASSOON#sassoonway

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW

MOMPRENEURS BEING AN

ENTREPRENEUR

AND A MOTHER

MOTHER OF AN IDEA

FUND YOUR CONCEPT

COMMUNITY POWERED

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Focus TV

Baywatch To Alkaline 88, Brande Roderick Is Never Far From Waterr.Brande Roderick talks about her career.

Planning A Fall PartyWatch Tali Marchefka put together a stunning outdoor party in just a few hours.

Miss Malibu 2014The winners of Miss Beverly Hills and Miss Malibu are announced.

Hulu and Dr DrewSamantha Schacher’s day in LA starts with Pop Trigger for Hulu and ends with co-hosting Dr Drew on Call.

The Secret To A Happy RelationshipAlisa Ruby Bash, a marriage therapist, on successful relationships.

How Arthritis Affected A Model In Her PrimeJesse Golden talks about how she was suddenly struck by the illness.

An Online Dating Show Actress Claire Bahn is raising funds for a show about the hypocrisy of online dating.

No Inhibitions About Dating NakedReality show star Kristen Williams talks about why she went naked on national TV.

The Best DatesSix women discuss their favorite date stories and what they expect from a man on a first date.

The SF 49ers Love ArtStanley Silver talks about his inspiration, and art for the 49ers stadium in San Francisco.

I’m A Sassoon, Hello!A candid talk about Eden’s legendary father’s influence, her daily inspiration and her plans for the future of the business.

Lipstick SistersHensi Morris talks about how and why she started the women’s network.

focusmag.us/tvText focus to 313131 to watch any video

What The F?F. Ron Smith of Partners Trust on what sets them apart as an elite real estate agency.

We Are OneA behind the scenes look at the first Focus event, our one year anniversary.

Entertainment Tonight A day in the life of ET host Brooke Anderson, taping her show at CBS studio 4.

Do The HustleJoin Maia Suckle on her tour of the awards ceremonies when her husband was nominated for American Hustle.


FEBRUARY 2014

Archives

AUGUST 2014

INSTAGRAM COMPETITIONPost to Instagram your most inventive pic, with the magazine in view and a great caption, and tag it with #lovefocus. Or send it to [email protected]

The winner will get $300 worth of vouchers – to spend at Eden by Eden Sassoon, Pilates Platinum, Pressed Juicery and SoulCycle.

APRIL 2014MAY 2014

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ADVERTISE IN FOCUS MAGAZINETransparent pricing. No long term commitments, and no pressure. To reserve a space, email: [email protected]

The Latest and Greatest in EyewearWritten by: Shira Levin

It is no surprise that Optical Connection, a full service luxury eyewear boutique, is constantly swarming with LA’s A-Listers. Featured on E! news, shown in Angeleno Magazine, Studio City Lifestyle Magazine, and apparent on countless celeb’s chiseled faces, Optical Connection is incomparable to your ordinary optical store. The chic boutiques, located in the Beverly Glen Centre and in Studio City, are exceptionally unique in what the stores offer to their clients. Optical Connection not only offers the most knowledgeable, fashionable, highly trained opticians and stylists, but the boutique replicates that of a personal shopping experience. Only the newest, hottest, most sought after brands and models are carried at a given time. When shopping at Optical Connection, there is no time wasted scavenging through shelves of outdated frames, when only the latest, hottest frames are shown.

The boutique is especially ideal because of this concentrated atmosphere. Each eyeglass’ style, brand, and color are carefully handpicked in order to provide only the crème de le crème of eyewear for clients. Armen Kanberian, owner of Optical Connection and his knowledgeable team have natural talents for selecting the perfect frame, color, and style for each individual client. In addition to this personal styling ambiance without the additional cost, Optical Connection delivers the best products at competitive prices.

Optical Connection | Bel-Air2940 Beverly Glen Circle Bel-Air CA 90077 T. 310 474 5174Optical Conneciton | Studio City11996 Ventura Blvd. Studio City CA 91604 T. 818 766 4848

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focus october 2014 – dating issue

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