for immediate release workplace sexual harassment ...€¦ · avoid sexual harassment in the...

PLAY NICE PLAYGROUND RULES FOR RESPECT IN THE WORKPLACE

� e Agency at Brown Books Contact: Cathy Williams | 972-248-9500Cathy.Williams@� eAgencyAtBB.com

www.� eAgencyAtBB.com

Play Nice: Playground Rules for Respect in the WorkplaceKimichik & Tomlinson | 978-1-61254-290-4 | $15.95

SOCIAL SCIENCE /Sexual Abuse & Harassmentwww.� eSandboxSeries.com

Dallas, TX — Recently, the media has been saturated with stories and cases of sexual harassment in countless workplaces. Bringing this issue to light has not only sparked awareness of the prominence of sexual harassment but also created a number of social justice movements, such as Time’s Up and #MeToo. However, despite the ubiquity of the subject, identifying and dealing with sexual harassment in the workplace is o� en di� cult and complicated for both victims and bystanders. In Play Nice: Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace (Brown Books Publishing Group), authors Brigitte Gawenda Kimichik, JD and JR Tomlinson simplify the issue and give elementary rules to help men and women identify, stop, and avoid sexual harassment in the workplace.

“Our goal for this book is to help women — and men — deal with sexual harassment in the workplace when it occurs — as a victim or bystander — to stop the behavior in its tracks, and to help women draw a line of professionalism and respect when it comes to bad behavior,” says Kimichik.

Play Nice uses real experiences from the authors — who both worked in male-dominated industries for over 30 years — other personal accounts, and shocking statistics to examine the causes and history of sexual harassment and provide solutions that will lead to a respectful work environment. Kimichik and Tomlinson clearly establish the di� erence between acceptable and inappropriate work behavior, thereby empowering workers to create healthy boundaries and be dependable allies for their colleagues.

Kimichik and Tomlinson use “playground rules” to discern inappropriate behavior in the sandbox, which represents the close quarters where women and men work together; the working environment of the company or business is represented by the playground.“Our goal with these terms is to have the readers take a step back and imagine themselves where they may have � rst interacted with girls and boys. Whether it was a playground or a yard at school, the reader was likely required to obey rules of conduct or behavior while at play. Following these rules likely made play in the sandbox safer and promoted a healthier and successful playground,” notes Kimichik.

� e simpli� ed context of Play Nice helps clarify the o� en convoluted nature of sexual harassment. “� e book is meant to be a resource and guide for all working adults in order to create necessary changes in workplace environments that will ultimately lead to positivity and prosperity among businesses and their employees,” says Tomlinson.

“For real change to occur, it is imperative that we all start holding ourselves responsible for ensuring everyone is treated respectfully. Play Nice is a giant step in the right direction,” states Vanessa Fox, Chief Development O� cer for Jack in the Box.

###

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Workplace Sexual Harassment Redefined with the Help of Playground RulesAuthors embolden victims and bystanders to address bad behavior on the spot





JR TomlinsonJR Tomlinson earned her BBA in � nance and investments from Texas Tech University in Lubbock, Texas. She earned her series 7, 63, and 22 licenses and began her career as a � nancial consultant with Merrill Lynch Pierce Fenner & Smith, Inc. Over a career spanning more than twenty-nine years, she has worked with Murray Properties, Public Storage, Jackson & Cooksey, Inc., and others.

Her expertise in commercial real estate and the strategic alignment of corporate real estate has seen her manage numerous multimillion-dollar complex transactions for Fortune clients throughout North America. She has been honored to receive many awards as one of the best in her � eld, including a Dallas Power Broker Award from D Magazine, the US Green Council Building Award, and the Notable Women of Texas Award.

JR is currently a managing director with Newmark Knight Frank. She and her husband, Rob Hargis, live in Dallas, Texas.

Brigitte Gawenda Kimichik, JDBorn and raised in Germany, Brigitte earned her Abitur in December 1980 from the Gymnasium Osdorf, in Hamburg, Germany, and came to the US therea� er to study. She earned her BBA in 1983

from the McCombs School of Business at the University of Texas at Austin, where she was a member of the Dean’s List and the Golden Key Honor Society and graduated with honors a� er only two and a half years of study. She received her JD in 1986 from the Southern Methodist University Dedman School of Law in Dallas, Texas.

Over more than thirty years of experience as a commercial real-estate � nance attorney, Brigitte was a partner at both Andrews Kurth LLP and Shein� eld, Maley, and Kay. From 1993 to 1997, Brigitte served on the board of the Wednesday’s Child Bene� t Corporation, and in 2012, she received the Most Powerful and In� uential Women of Texas Award from the National Diversity Council.

Brigitte retired in 2015. She and her husband, David, live in Dallas, Texas. � ey are very proud of their two strong and intelligent daughters, Nicole and Samantha.

About the Authors





WHAT PROMPTED YOU TO WRITE A BOOK ABOUT SEXUAL HARASSMENT?Both our industries are heavily male-dominated, and throughout the many years we have known each other, we have sco� ed at and cried over appalling and o� en shocking experiences of sexual harassment, abuse and gender discrimination, and the troubling frequency of such occurrences. What we both discovered in our discussions with colleagues, other professionals, friends and family, including many younger members of our respective � elds, is a sobering reality. Despite over 30 years passing since we started our careers, there has been little improvement in the toxic masculinity of the workplace culture and company policies against sexual harassment, and procedures for � ling complaints have made little di� erence. Sexual harassment is alive and well and the frequency is appalling. Even worse — recent news stories show us that � ling a complaint with the human resources department will not necessarily save your job. � e potential for retaliation, abuse by supporters of the violator, further humiliation and embarrassment, bullying, and loss of job, can be dire.

What is striking, is even in today’s environment of the #MeToo movement where disclosure is encouraged, we have found that young women who recently entered the workforce are afraid to tell their sexual harassment experiences publicly for fear of retaliation and loss of job promotion opportunities — even if their names and employers are not identi� ed. Under what circumstances would that ever be acceptable? It is heartbreaking.

We agreed that, one day, we would publish our collective advice on how to handle and modify the behavior of abusers, with the goal of helping a victim protect and preserve what she has worked so hard to obtain and what is rightfully hers: her job, her career, and her reputation. � is also applies to victims who are men.

YOU USE THE ANALOGY OF A CHILDHOOD PLAYGROUND AND SANDBOX TO DISCUSS SEXUAL HARASSMENT, BUT YOUR BOOK IS ANYTHING BUT SIMPLISTIC OR CHILD-LIKE. EXPLAIN THIS ANALOGY AND YOUR “PLAYGROUND RULES.” Our goal with these terms is to have the reader take a step back and imagine themselves where they may have � rst interacted with girls and boys. Whether it was a playground or a yard at school, the reader was likely required to obey rules of conduct or behavior while at play. Following these rules likely made play in the sandbox safer and promoted a healthier and more successful playground. Many of these rules apply today and should be revisited in their simplest form for a more clear understanding. In Play Nice, we call the close quarters where women and men work together the “sandbox” and the working environment of the company or business where you work, the “playground.” � e “sandbox” in this playground is where we imagine men and women work, collaborate, receive mentorship, develop ideas and products, create and complete projects, and where the success of any business is ultimately measured. � e “sandbox” should be a key focus: a positive and healthy environment, populated by both men and women who are a complement of strengths and weaknesses and varied in culture of diversity. � e sandbox should have leadership that commands mutual respect, promotes healthy mentorship, and demands an environment free of bigotry, gender bias and sexual harassment. If the

Q & A with the AuthorsBrigitte Gawenda Kimichik, JDJR Tomlinson





sandbox fails in any of those respects, the health and success of the business of the playground are likely to su� er adverse consequences and negatively impact the � nancial bottom-line. We do not take these terms lightly. We use these terms to help address bad behavior with basic “playground rules” which we introduce later in the book. For example, “Treat players how you want to be treated.” Most readers will understand this rule. If you are faced with inappropriate behavior and you can use this rule to explain to the abuser why the behavior is not appropriate, he may understand more clearly and think about changing his behavior. Would he want to be treated this way? � e book addresses the rules in the context of examples for illustration. We believe it’s up to victims themselves and the women and men who are bystanders and in leadership at companies to defend against, redirect, and modify toxic and abusive interactions and behavior immediately when it occurs. Using the playground rules is our recommended approach.

WHERE DOES BAD BEHAVIOR START AND WHERE SHOULD WE BEGIN TO EFFECT CHANGE? In� uences for bad behavior start at a very early age. Educating our children should start at home and within our family, social, and community circles. Both men and women must participate. How we communicate and treat one another is important to establish role model behavior for our younger generations. We cannot rely solely on schools, teachers, and peers to do this very important job since education on the topics of sexual harassment and proper behavior may not be available (or in substance as we would address them). We must also pay attention to what our children access on television, computers, tablets, and phones, including pornography. Parental monitoring, intervention, education, and frequent discussion regarding sensitive topics is paramount. We must teach our children appropriate behavior, how to set boundaries and defend against bad acts, and how to be con� dent to stand up for themselves and their friends.

HOW DOES PLAY NICE HELP ADVANCE THE #METOO MOVEMENT? We hope that the launch and continuation of the #MeToo movement will continue to embolden women to speak up about their experiences. Play Nice provides victims and bystanders with real examples and realistic tools for how to deal with sexual harassment on the spot when the bad behavior occurs. � e book also reviews the history of progress (or lack thereof) regarding sexual harassment, educates men and women on what constitutes as sexual harassment, discusses personal responsibility of both women and men in the work environment, and o� ers suggestions for companies and their human resource departments to improve company culture and behavior.

WHAT MAKES PLAY NICE AND YOUR APPROACH TO SEXUAL HARASSMENT UNIQUE? Our approach is not necessarily unique, but rather realistic. When we started our careers, neither of us appreciated or realized how frequently we would experience sexual harassment, and we certainly did not expect to what extent the behavior would be tolerated by our colleagues and by our superiors. We realized that despite all of the changes in the laws regarding sexual harassment, not much would change the behavior of violators. For both of us, dealing with men as peers, superiors, and clients was a big part of the job. To get ahead and succeed, it became important to learn from them and to gain their trust. Male mentorship and sponsorship was critical for promotion and success. We learned how to handle sexual harassment on the spot without compromising our careers. Play Nice shares our approach and provides real examples of bad behavior and realistic approaches on how best to respond depending on the personality type of the abuser and nature of the sexual harassment.





IN YOUR OPINION, HOW SHOULD ONE HANDLE SEXUAL HARASSMENT? WHAT IS THE IMPORTANCE OF HUMOR? How you handle sexual harassment will depend on the nature of the harassment and the personality type of the abuser. Responding to a superior who is conditioning your job on a physical relationship with him is far more serious then taming a group of male colleagues who are commenting on a female colleague’s body parts in your presence. Using a little humor in certain circumstances, especially where you are dealing with a group of violators, is likely to difuse a defensive response to your admonition of the behavior. If you o� er positive feedback on how to behave better, you are more likely to be viewed as looking out for them, which might foster trust and is less likely to create enemies at work.

WHAT DO YOU SAY TO WOMEN WHO FEEL THEY CAN SUPPRESS OR DISREGARD INSTANCES OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND JUST MOVE ON? You may be able to push it down and move on, but for how long? Eventually, your con� dence, self-respect, and mental well-being and health will su� er — and you deserve to be treated with respect! We need for you join the cause to speak up and help modify bad behavior for all victims and our children, otherwise sexual harassment will continue for generations to come. Time’s Up!

WHO IS YOUR INTENDED READER? � e book is written in plain English and is meant to be a resource for both women and men and their employers. A majority of our test readers were men and they all found the book eye-opening and interesting.

WHAT ARE YOUR GOALS FOR THIS BOOK? We are hoping that this book will do several things: 1. Embolden the victim or target of sexual harassment to speak up and challenge the behavior, immediately when it occurs, to help modify behavior; 2. Embolden a bystander who witnesses sexual harassment to speak up for the victim, or target, and challenge the behavior; 3. Encourage men to take on the cause to help women with sexual harassment; 4. Encourage more open discussions about the topic of sexual harassment at home, in schools, and at work by women and men; and 5. Encourage companies to take a hard look at their own policies and procedures, and to make the necessary changes to help eradicate sexual harassment in the work place. Our book does not discourage victims from seeking help from human resources. It encourages victims to respond to sexual harassment, to take ownership of their lives and careers for their own health and well being, and to help modify behavior for a more healthy and successful working environment. If the bad behavior continues despite attempts to modify such behavior, human resources should be available to help.

� e Agency at Brown Books Contact: Cathy Williams | 972-248-9500

Cathy.Williams@� eAgencyAtBB.comwww.� eAgencyAtBB.com



“For real change to occur, it is imperative that we all start holding ourselves responsible for ensuring everyone is treated respectfully. Play Nice is a giant step in the right direction. � is book should be mandatory reading for all organizations and parents!”

—Vanessa FoxCorp. VP, Chief Development O� cer, Jack in the Box

Praise for Play Nice

“For all the talk about the #MeToo and Time’s Up movements, there is still little practical information available to help a woman beat back sexual harassment—until now. Play Nice is chock full of smart, strategic advice to help anyone su� ering from toxic behavior in the workplace. When you � nish this book, you will realize that equal rights for women are not some far-o� ideal but a reality that soon can be achieved.”

—Skip HollandsworthExecutive Editor, Texas Monthly

“Although many companies have guidelines in place addressing gender interactions, there is no practical tutorial for women entering the workplace. Play Nice is a timely publication that � lls that gap with practical advice for dealing with a toxic environment. � is is a must-read for any human resources executive, any woman embarking on her professional career, and any bystander (male or female) who is not sure what to do when faced with bad behavior.”

—Joel L. RossFormer General Counsel

of Trammell Crow Company and Retired Partner of Vinson & Elkins LLP

“A line in the sand. It is a go-to account of legal changes as well as watershed moments that open our eyes to the ubiquitous nature of sexual harassment. More than a manual on the dynamics and pervasiveness of sexual harassment, Play Niceis a handbook that shows you how to recognize these crimes and take action. A must-read for women of all ages, recognizing that although we have come a long way, we have not come far enough!”

—Jan Edgar LangbeinCEO, Genesis Women’s Shelter & Support





“Brigitte Kimichik and JR Tomlinson have written a critical book chock-full of practical tips on creating workplaces that are inclusive and respectful of women. � eir sage advice is focused on women and men. � ey strongly encourage bystanders to stand up and speak out when bad behaviors occur. Play Nice is a unique resource and an instrument of change.”

—Sharon OrloppCHRO Core Scienti� c, a Tech Start-Up, and Retired Global Chief Diversity O� cer at Walmart

“Play Nice is a lively and highly practical guide to optimizing the relationships between women and men in the workplace, as well as an indispensable tool for avoiding missteps and misunderstandings. � e authors are entering the conversation at exactly the right moment.”

—Jonathan KirschAttorney, Best-Selling Author, and National Book Critics Circle Member

“Play Nice is a timely ‘must-read’ that provides a unique approach for responding to sexual harassment. � is book is de� nitely a conversation starter!”

—Suzy BashoreCIO, PGIM Real Estate Finance

“I am proud to have worked with an organization that has an unwavering commitment to integrity in all business operations. Part of this commitment is ensuring everyone has a safe, healthy, professional, and respectful working environment. Play Nice is a spot-on guide to understanding and implementing this vitally important part of our corporate culture.”

—William GeilerrExecutive Vice President of Development, Hotel & Lodging Firm

� e Agency at Brown Books Contact: Cathy Williams | 972-248-9500

Cathy.Williams@� eAgencyAtBB.comwww.� eAgencyAtBB.com



Excerpts from Play Nice

A Sobering Reality CheckRegarding Women’s Right to Equality (page 13)

Until the #MeToo movement launched, perception regarding the pervasiveness of sexual harassment appeared inconsistent. “Sexual harassment is no longer a big problem.” “Young women today are better prepared to deal with sexual harassment when they join the workforce.” “Our young men today are raised better.” “HR is capable of properly handling sexual harassment claims, especially at large companies.” We heard these statements repeatedly for years from strangers, friends, and colleagues, and we disagreed with them, which in part prompted our desire to write this book. � en came the #MeToo movement, and a wonderful uproar followed in almost every industry. Our purpose for this book became very relevant.

� e Playground Rules and Sexual Harassment (page 79-80)

Do you remember any “playground rules”? Whether you grew up with them or not, we believe many of those same rules (or guidelines or boundaries) can be applied today to the workplace’s Sandbox to help men and women coexist and work together in a respectful, safe, and prosperous manner. � ose very same rules most of us learned at a young age are helpful in stopping sexual harassment in its tracks. � ey are basic and should be familiar in concept, whether we � rst heard them on the playground, from our parents, or from a teacher or mentor.

Here are ten playground rules we believe are particularly applicable to sexual harassment:

1. Respect the playground and its players.

2. Treat others how you want to be treated.

3. No bullying or intimidation allowed.

4. Use nice words, be polite, and have good manners.

5. Respect the boundaries of the players.

6. Work together to solve problems, using your words, not your hands.

7. Inappropriate treatment of players is strictly prohibited.

8. We share playground resources and take turns.

9. New players are welcome.

10. Do not jump o� the seesaw without warning your playmate.





Playground Rule #2: Treat Others How You Want to Be Treated (page 83-84)

ScenarioYou walk into a client meeting that you have organized, and a male member of the client’s team who has not met you and does not know you are the transaction leader says, “Hey, miss, can we get some co� ee?”

Suggested Response“Hello, gentlemen, I am [state your name and your position]. Welcome to our meeting.” � en look to the man who asked for co� ee, and say, “I am happy to coordinate co� ee for you.” He will likely be embarrassed. If, by chance, you do not have an assistant or secretary to coordinate co� ee for the meeting, have a co� ee station ready prior to the meeting.

ScenarioA male colleague keeps commenting on your body to other male colleagues, and a colleague comes and tells you.

Suggested ResponseIdeally, the colleague should defend you and say, “Hey, Ego Joe, that kind of talk is not respectful or appropriate and could get you in trouble with HR. Remember the playground rule we � rst learned as children? ‘Treat others how you would like to be treated!’ I am con� dent you would not want to be treated like that. Let’s stop this behavior!” If he does not, go talk to the o� ender, and say, “Hey, Ego Joe. I heard that you keep talking about my body parts in public. Remember the playground rule we � rst learned as children? ‘Treat others how you would like to be treated!’ I am sure you would not want me doing that about you. It is not appropriate or respectful, so please stop. If not, I may have to go visit with HR.”

ScenarioA male colleague keeps commenting on another female colleague’s body parts to other male colleagues in your presence.

Suggested Response“Hey, gentlemen, let’s be respectful of Jenny and stop this kind of talk. It makes us all uncomfortable, and you are violating our sexual harassment policy rules. Remember the playground rule we � rst learned as children? ‘Treat others how you would like to be treated!’ I am con� dent you would not want to be treated like that. Let’s not get you reported, OK?”





Title . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Play Nice: Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace Author . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Brigitte Gawenda Kimichik, JD and JR TomlinsonISBN . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 978-1-61254-290-4Format . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . PaperbackRetail Price . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $15.95Size . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 x 9Pages . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 150Carton Quantity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36LCCN . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2018961303BISAC . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . SOCIAL SCIENCE / Sexual Abuse & Harassment;

BUSINESS & ECONOMICS / Workplace Culture; BUSINESS & ECONOMICS / Human Resources & Personnel Management

Publication Date . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5/14/2019Distribution . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ingram, Baker & TaylorPublisher . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Brown Books Publishing GroupPublisher Website . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .www.BrownBooks.comAuthor Website . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.� eSandboxSeries.com

SYNOPSIS

One of today’s most hotly discussed topics is sexual harassment in the workplace: what it looks like, how to prevent it, and what to do about it. So many people don’t realize that they have been victims of sexual harassment or that they have a right to speak up and demand diff erent treatment. Many don’t realize that they are committing it, thanks to certain behaviors being dismissed, forgiven, or ignored for many years when they should have been corrected long ago. In the heat of today’s #MeToo movement, Brigitte Gawenda Kimichik, JD and JR Tomlinson take things back to basics by applying the rules we all learned on the playground to the modern-day workplace, thus making clear to everyone what is and what isn’t OK. Play Nice: Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace is an indispensable resource — both for empowering those who wish to reassert their boundaries and for teaching allies how to help in this � ght.

for immediate release workplace sexual harassment ...€¦ · avoid sexual harassment in the...

Documents