Youth & Family Services, Inc.Changing lives together, one child at a time.

CARE. HOPE. MEND.

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INTRODUCTIONHi Friends,

We’re celebrating 18 adoptions! Together we are changing lives forever, one child at a time!

Foster Care is just one of the many programs we have at Youth & Family Services that change lives. We offer innovative programs that empower individuals to build better, stronger, more stable futures for themselves, their families, and their community. All of our programs strive to prevent further difficulties to reaching a successful future.

Our Foster Care program is a ground-breaking continuum model that provides care for homeless, neglected and abused children. Families in our program have the opportunity to volunteer in our Emergency Shelter as well as serve as a foster home, a respite home or a short term host home. Our vision is that children leaving our shelter as well as other local foster children would be matched to a loving community foster family, and that foster families would feel supported to be successful by receiving needed supports and training. Since the inception of our foster care program, we have placed 119 children in loving homes.

We are a charity. We count on support from Friends like you. We could not have changed these lives without your moral and financial support. Please enjoy these success stories of the lives you helped change!

Sincerely,

Dee BloseExecutive DirectorYouth & Family Services, Inc.

FOSTER CARE OUTCOMESIt is not uncommon for children in the foster care system to move from home to home. At YFS we have demonstrated a successful program which includes no network disruptions for children until reunified with a family member or adopted.

GOAL: Foster care family retention rate will maintain at 80% or higher. OUTCOMES of GOAL: Goal was met with 98% family retention rate.

GOAL: Child placement rate within our network will maintain at 90% or higher. OUTCOMES of GOAL: Child placement rate of 93% was maintained.

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“Orphans are easier to ignore before you know their names. They are easier to ignore before you see their faces. It is easier to pretend they’re not real before you hold them in your arms. But once you do, everything changes.”-David Platt

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The Arbetellos Walking through the mall with Kathryn Elizabeth Arbetello is like walking down the red carpet with a movie star. Whatever star power is – she’s got it! People love to stop and talk to her, comment on her pretty curly hair and cute little glasses. She loves all the attention, and hams it up for her fans.

Life is good for this silly, adorable three year old, but it wasn’t always so good.

Michael and Laura Arbetello decided tobecome foster parents after their son was born. Kathryn came to them when she was 15 months old and stayed for ten months before being returned to her biological mother. Laura says it was very difficult to say goodbye because she “knew caring for Kathryn would be a huge challenge for her young biological mother.”

This is a common sentiment among many foster parents – that saying goodbye to a foster child can be very hard. Throughout the fostering process, the Arbetellos chose to be a support to the biological mother. When it was determined 2 months later that Kathryn wouldn’t be staying with the biological family, they were there to accept Kathryn back into their home. Nine months after that, she was an official part of the Arbetello family.

Now, at three years old, Kathryn spends her days playing dress-up and doing her hair, dancing and doing gymnastics. She is a happy, imaginative child who is only now beginning to reveal some signs of her difficult past.

“As Kathryn is getting older, she is starting to display behaviors consistent with early trauma, and we are having a hard time figuring out how to deal with these,” Laura says.When Laura starts to feel stressed about parenting issues, she turns to other YFS foster parents for support.

“Only a foster parent knows what it’s like, so it’s invaluable to have a network with them.”

Another bonus of having such a close network of foster families is that the Arbetellos still get to participate in the lives of their first foster children. Their first placement was two brothers who lived with the Arbetellos for 10 months before being fostered and then adopted by a family who had gotten to know and love the boys as their “alternative caregivers.” As an added support, YFS recruits families to provide respite care for their foster families. These respite providers often end up becoming full foster parents – and sometimes adoptive parents.

“The emotional aspect to our family was nothing compared to the difficulty we had managing all the visits and appointment,” Laura explains. “All of our kids were frequently ill, so juggling doctor’s visits, family visits, working full-time, running a home, worker visits, court dates, etc. was our biggest challenge. Everything was so time consuming that we had a hard time carving out time as a couple.”

Despite the challenges, Laura says it is all worth it because she knows they have been a big part of “changing the path of three special little kids.”

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The Lecks Having courage is not a quality the Lecks are short on; the creation of their family has been led by their hearts, prayer and the belief that they can be a positive impact on others. Their journey began in 2010 when they followed the tug on their hearts to become foster parents and provide a loving home for children who needed a family.

Since beginning this journey they have had the privilege of providing a permanent home for five children in addition to providing a temporary safe place for 15 children. Because of their passion for children, Jason and Ashley became very active in volunteering at the Youth & Family Services Caring Center. There they met Sophie, a sweet 6 year old girl who needed a foster home. In the anticipation that Sophie would be joining their family, the Lecks began building a relationship with her even before their home was approved. Sophie was adopted by the Lecks in December 2012 after being in the foster care system for 6 years. “She now plays a big role in welcoming other children into their home and is a great big sister”. Sophie is a vibrant, happy 10-year-old who loves to dance and help her family.

In March 2011, Tucker came to live with the Lecks at only 5 weeks old. He was adopted in August 2012 and was the Lecks’ first adoption. Tucker is now an active, happy 3-year old.

The Lecks continued to foster several children over the years and in September 2012 heard about a little boy at the Bethany Children’s Center who needed a forever home. Jayden had lived in a hospital type setting from birth. The Lecks report they “immediately felt a connection to him when they met him, and

knew he would be part of their family”. He is now a much happier, healthier 5-year-old boy.In March, 2013 the Lecks received a call about a little 6-year-old girl, Savannah, who needed placement. She had 3 other siblings who were in different homes. When the direction of the case took a turn towards adoption, the Lecks began discussing the possibility of bringing Brayden into their home, knowing the importance of a sibling bond. In August of this year Brayden and Savannah were adopted the same day their older siblings were adopted by a family member. Brayden is an active 9-year-old who loves sports and enjoys playing soccer. Savannah is a quiet and loving 8-year-old who enjoys gymnastics and spending time with her family.

“It is a blessing to be a part of these kids lives.”

“Don’t underestimate what you’re capable of,” Ashley recommends. “And don’t be scared by labels because a child in a loving, nurturing home can really overcome a lot of things.”

For Ashley, this is one of the biggest rewards of being a foster parent – “Seeing the growth and progress the kids make and just seeing them begin to trust and build a bond with you.”

After adopting five children through the YFS foster care program , Ashley says that the YFS staff is now like family. “There is no way we would have been able to be foster parents as long as we have if it was not for YFS,” she says.

“Melissa has been through so much with us. She has advocated for us and supported us in court. She has stood by us through hard decisions and given us advice to help us make the best decisions for our family. She has truly become a part of our family dynamic and without her we would not be the same.”

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The Bucks Lisa and Steve Buck were YFS’ very first foster family, but becoming a foster family wasn’t always part of their plan. The Bucks already had a full house – four biological children (Savannah, Avery, and twins Kinzey and Kirbey) all still living at home - when some good friends decided to become foster parents. At first, the Bucks were just looking for a good way to help support their friends.

“Some friends got involved and we started supporting them by being their respite providers, and in doing so really had our eyes and hearts opened to the plight of these kids,” Lisa explains. “We went on to become foster parents after that.”

The Bucks have fostered eight children and adopted two. Isiaiah and Jeremiah, who are now seven and five, were only three and one when Lisa first met them in the YFS Emergency Shelter.

“Being a foster parent has changed everything that we’ve known about life,” Steve says.

“We did this as an answer to a call of our faith, and believe that this is the path that God has put us on. We feel very strongly that we are charged with taking care of these children. It’s our passion, it’s our heart.”

Not only are the Bucks dedicated to helping their own children, Lisa is dedicated to helping all foster children in Oklahoma, which has one of the highest per capita rates of children in DHS custody. Lisa just began her new job as a Foster Parent Ombudsman for DHS. Steve works as the Assistant Deputy Director for the Department of Mental Health and Substance Abuse, his position has given him insight into

the struggles of many of the birth families.

With six kids and a new job, Lisa says they are not open to fostering additional children any time soon. “We’re kind of busting at the seams, we’re at capacity,” she laughs. However, the Bucks are maintaining their foster care certification so that they can support other foster parents through respite care.

“Even if you can’t take on others, there is something that everyone can do. Even though our house is full right now, we’re continuing on with respite care to help and support others in their foster care journey.”

One of Lisa’s favorite things about being a foster parent through YFS is the opportunity to watch some of her former foster kids grow up in other wonderful families.

“It’s been a wonderful blessing for us to still be able to maintain our relationship with those that we’ve moved on to other places. And we’ve been able to just kind of transition from the role of ‘Foster Mama and Daddy’ to ‘Foster Aunt and Uncle,’” she says. “To still be a part of those children’s lives and watch them grow up and know that they’re going to be okay is truly one of the greatest joys.”

Steve and Lisa look for opportunities for all of her children to reconnect and has found the perfect holiday - Halloween.

“We all have dinner together and we all go out trick or treating together so we have like 13 kids that we take out to go trick or treating,” Lisa laughs. “Everybody gets a chance to catch up with everybody and love on everybody. It’s just a very sweet, wonderful thing.”

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The Roberts Courtney Roberts always knew she wanted to help children, but she didn’t know it would be in the form of helping foster children until she and her husband heard about the need for foster parents through their Church. She and Chad began discussing the possibility of opening their home to foster children after their son was born with the idea that they would continue until they had more children of their own.

“Once we realized how needed foster parents are, there was no way we could stop. It just became a part of us. It’s a calling and not something we plan on doing for just a few years”.

Chad says, “We knew foster care would be hard, but the alternative to not answering the call could be much worse for these children”.

The Roberts have fostered a total of 10 children since they began their foster care journey with YFS over five years ago. Some have only stayed for a week, others for much longer. Their son Peyson was adopted this past August after being in their home for 2 years, he joined two biological children – their son, Tegan, who is seven, and daughter Hayden, who is two. At the moment, they have two foster children who are transitioning to live with a relative.

Adoption wasn’t initially part of the plan for the Roberts family; however once they met Peyson they knew he would not be leaving their home unless it was to be with his birth family. Peyson is now a happy, out-going, loving 5-year-old who excels at athletics and has “an awesome way of showing his joy &

love for others. We could not imagine our fam-ily without Peyson”. Courtney says that every foster experience is different, just like every child is different, and figuring out each child’s particular behavior triggers, likes and dislikes is key to a successful placement.

”I would also say it is so important to have a great support system because you are going to need them!” Courtney says that, “the YFS support system is awesome. It takes a big load of stress off of us as foster parents so we can focus on the kids.”

“We would not still be foster parents if it wasn’t for YFS. The support we get through training, the other foster parents, and the staff is amazing.”

That support system helps alleviate the inevitable challenges that come with being a foster parent. “Being a foster parent is something that can be so hard sometimes, but the rewards are so much more,” Courtney explains.

“Knowing you are making a difference for these children is worth every fear, frustration, or heartache!”

However, with every heartache comes a big reward - “Seeing that same child you knew so little about, blossom and learn and grow and be so happy in a matter of weeks because they are in a safe and loving home.”

Chad says that both he and Courtney, ac-knowledge there will be difficult times and hard goodbyes, but as an adult they can handle those emotions. “It is worth it to know that you gave a child a safe place when they needed it. These children are not just a statis-tic, they are children, just like your own chil-dren”.

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The Lenharts Tiffanie Lenhart says this quote from faith leader and orphan advocate David Platt sums up her journey toward foster care. “Orphans are easier to ignore before you know their names. They are easier to ignore before you see their faces. It is easier to pretend they’re not real before you hold them in your arms,” Platt writes. “But once you do, everything changes.”

A mission trip to Haiti in 1985 was life changing, opening the Lenharts’ eyes and minds to the plight of “the Fatherless.” They adopted three boys from Haiti before turning their hearts toward the orphan crisis in their own backyard.

Jake and Tiffanie Lenhart have fostered 12 children since 2008, not including the many children they have hosted for just a few days in between placements, as an alternative to staying in a shelter. As Tiffanie describes their family, “We have two home grown (biological) and four handpicked (adopted) children”

Their most recent adoption was last July, a daughter, Zola, whom the Lenharts had fostered for 1,196 days, more than three years.

Tiffanie says that one of the primary reasons they decided to become foster parents was to make a lasting impact on children in need. However, she did not expect to become so profoundly changed by the children’s impact on her own life.

“Our lives were forever changed the day we accepted our first placement. We went into fostering, naively thinking that we would be a blessing to these children when in reality they were the ones blessing us,” Tiffanie says.

“Fostering these precious children has taught us much about the presence of injustice, abuse, neglect and family-less children in the world. It has also taught us to look for beauty in the midst of really, really hard circumstances.”

Tiffanie says that when people find out she is a foster parent, they “inevitably say ‘I could never do that! I’d want to keep every single one. Don’t you get attached?’” She says that letting go of a child she has loved and cared for is the biggest challenge of being a foster parent, but that will never prevent her from giving everything she’s got to every child she fosters.

“I have found that the last thing foster children need is another detached caregiver. We recklessly love them knowing that it will be painful when it is time to say goodbye. But they are worth getting our hearts broken for.”

Despite the heartaches, Tiffanie says fostering is worth it. “Where else can you get court side seats to seeing lives changed?”

SUPPORT FOSTER CARE

Become a host home.Provide short-term emergency care as an extension of our emergency shelter.

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The Swangs The decision to welcome a foster child into your life is different for every family. Some young couples choose to foster children only until they have children of their own – or sometimes instead of having children of their own. Some families are motivated by a desire to teach their biological children about the importance of helping others, and the shared joy that comes from giving back. Still others come to foster care much later, after their own children have grown and moved away to start families of their own.

Ted and April Swang did not consider fostering until their two sons went away to college.

They started slow, and thought that they would just provide occasional, short-term respite care to other foster families who needed a quick break from their fostering duties. Then they heard about a sibling group of five children who were having difficulty finding a home that was willing or able to take all five. Ted and April knew they couldn’t say no.

“We love having children around and knew we could provide a good home for them,” April explains.

The Swangs have fostered more than 24 children since 2011. Their longest placement was one and a half years and their shortest was a shelter host home placement that was just overnight. It has been difficult saying goodbye 24 times, but the Swangs stay in touch with as many of their foster kids as possible.

“It is very difficult to say goodbye, but if their

parents will allow, we keep in contact with all of them,” Swang says. She says they still see that first sibling group at least once a month. April explains that building a relationship with the biological family also makes it easier to say goodbye – they feel better knowing that they can continue to support the children after their transition back home.

“There is such a blessing in continuing to keep in touch with them and their families after they go home. It’s great to have them in our family forever. For the ones we do not get to stay in contact with, we continue to pray for them and will always carry them in our hearts.” Swang encourages others to start fostering – not only because foster parents are so desperately needed, but also because of the “hugs, kisses, and lots of smiles!” “There are so many kids that need a place. It isn’t always easy, but it is so worth it. They become so much like your own while they are with you,” Swang says.

“Don’t think about it too long or you can talk yourself out of it. The children will bless you more than you would think.”

The Swangs are currently fostering a sibling group of three, all of whom are younger than three. They will likely be with the Swangs for about a year, before returning home. If three children under three sounds like a challenge - it is! But it is a challenge that the Swangs fully embrace.

“We don’t look at it as doing it for ourselves, but for God and following his call to take care of children,” Swang says.

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The Robertsons As a single woman, Tricia made a decision to be a foster parent. Her journey started with her heart for children; she became a licensed therapist and worked for YFS as a counselor in their emergency shelter before taking a position as a school counselor. Her experience working with children from all walks of life has given her a special understanding of what children need, especially the three children she would later adopt.

In June 2012, Tricia adopted three siblings she had been fostering through YFS, and she is so grateful for the family that YFS helped her to create. Tricia met her future husband while going through the process of adoption. Cliff was her oldest foster son’s basketball coach and, being adopted himself, had an open mind and huge heart for adoption. Tricia and Cliff are now parents to five children.

“I always believed that healthy families always had room for at least one child that needed someone to do the hard things that parents do and to care about them,” Tricia says.

“In general, every child that has been in foster care has been traumatized in some way, either from being away from their families, from being abused by their family, from being neglected by their family, or from being in the system. So as a result of that they often have emotional, educational, and developmental delays that make it hard for them to reach developmental hurdles, just because of the things they’ve experienced in their lives,” she explains. Tricia adds that “consistency and love and support are some of the most

necessary things” for overcoming these challenges.

She says her motivation to foster and adopt children in need came from her parents, who “brought us up to care about other people and be willing to risk and care for others.”

“Some of the biggest rewards are successes after hard work on behaviors, grades, and the love that we share when just doing family things together and having inside jokes, anniversaries, and Gotcha’ Parties,” Tricia says. “Those are the things that I am cherishing!”

Tricia acknowledges that it isn’t always easy, but it is always worth it. She strongly encourages others to consider becoming a foster or adoptive parent.

“Know that it will be hard; know that you will not understand how you could love and hurt so much for them not having healthy family opportunities; know that it will be worth it.”

SUPPORT FOSTER CARE

Volunteer.Spend time in our Emergency Shelter interacting and forming relationships.

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There is something everyone can do to help.

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Counseling ServicesOur Person Centered counseling services reached 543 individuals and their families; promoting emotional stability and positive behaviors in individuals and families in the community, including children residing in the Emergency Shelter and those participating in YFS programs. YFS provides crisis intervention services and treatment for ongoing behavioral and emotional disorders and substance abuse and dependency. YFS counseling programs include Outreach School-Based Counseling, First Offender Program, Community At-Risk Services (CARS) for youth in the juvenile system, Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT) and Individual and Family Counseling.

Community At-Risk Services (CARS)Through a contract with the Office of Juvenile Affairs, this program provides services to at-risk youth that have become involved in the juvenile system. In-home counseling and social services, family counseling, individual counseling, tutoring and mentoring are all included in this program to assist the youth and their family with resolving at-risk behaviors and making better choices for their future. This program served 70 youth and their families.

First Time Offender ProgramThis program was established through the Juvenile Justice Reform Act to provide both consequences and a positive learning experience for first-time juvenile offenders. This year, 102 youth participated with their parents. The program is promoted and monitored statewide by the Oklahoma Association of Youth Services.

Outreach Counseling ProgramYFS outreach counselors move from school to school reaching children and adolescents in three counties with crisis intervention, individual counseling, group counseling, and educational programs. Behavior management consultation is also made available to school personnel. School systems served by outreach counselors are El Reno, Union City, Maple, Darlington, Piedmont, Banner, Mustang, Dover, Hennessey, Okarche, Kingfisher, Watonga and Yukon. This program reached 127 children and adolescents.

Specialized ServicesLast year Bee’s Knees served five young adults on an ongoing basis with a pre-employment art-based work club for a total of 400 hours. YFS supported two summer camps for people on the autism spectrum, serving 20 persons and 30 parents. A total of approximately 600 client service hours were provided to those with special needs. The camp capstone art show events had attendance of approximately 500 community members.

Programs & ServicesWe’re celebrating 40 years of providing, promoting, assisting and facilitating a community-based, structured process of counseling, socialization, recreation, educational assistance, and an emergency youth shelter for youth and their families who have been identified as in need of assistance in adjusting to current life situations.

SERVICES PROVIDED IN THE LAST FISCAL YEAR:

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Independent and Transitional Living ProgramsThe Independent Living program serves youth up to the age 21. Youth in this program are provided safe and loving relationships training, tutoring, study skills training, mentoring, job training and incentives for achieving goals and follow up services. Transitional Living provides housing and life-skills training for youth and young adults 16 to 21 who are homeless or at risk of becoming homeless. Housing is the foundation for a comprehensive program designed to promote healthy lifestyles, financial independence, and job readiness. This year, 657 youth benefited from the services of the Independent and Transitional Living Program.

The Caring Center: Emergency Youth Shelter and Foster Care ProgramThe YFS Caring Center provides safety, security, food and shelter to children ages 0 to 18 who are in the care of DHS, OJA or a parent or guardian. The children and youth served in the Caring Center during the year received health screenings, counseling, academic and living skills education and recreational opportunities. Care days totaled 3,322. YFS provides a trauma sensitive environment. The YFS Foster Care Program provided 48 children with loving foster homes. Our foster care program provides Traditional Foster, Respite and Shelter Host Homes all while building supports for the children and strengthening the foster family through stabilizing the relationships and assisting both child and family throughout the foster experience. Our Caring Center served 207 neglected and abused children and youth this year.

Oklahoma Bridge to Independence NetworkThe Bridge project supported 64 rural homeless and runaway youth in Blaine and Kingfisher counties between the ages 16 to 21 years of age. These young adults who are approaching independence have few or no connections to a supportive family structure or community. Bridge works to improve service coordination and create additional support for rural youth in the areas of housing, youth/adult partnerships, mentoring, peer support, educational support, life skills and job readiness. “The Spot” in Watonga is part of this project.

Smart Start Canadian CountySmart Start is a school-readiness initiative, impacting over 1,300 individuals in our community each year. Smart Start Canadian County provides support for early-learning to ensure that all children in our community are safe, healthy, eager to learn and ready to succeed by the time they enter school. Smart Start also facilitates child care training for local child care providers and participates in community events throughout Canadian County.

Emergency Solutions ProgramIn addition to preventing homelessness through the transitional living program, YFS offers a federally funded program that assists individuals and families with Homeless Prevention and Rapid-Rehousing. Individuals and families who are homeless or at risk of becoming homeless are assisted with rent and utility payments. YFS served 49 families and 134 individuals with the Emergency Solutions Program.

Our YFS VolunteersYFS enjoys strong community support through volunteers and the Friends of YFS group. Over 250 community volunteers supported our disaster recovery efforts, programs and clients by helping with our playground rebuild, assisting with various community events, product drives and through social media outlets. We depend on our community volunteers and love the heart and passion they bring to YFS.

This booklet is a glimpse of Foster Care through the YFS lens. Please enjoy these success stories of the lives you helped change!

7565 E. HWY 66 - EL RENO, OK - 73036(405) 262-6555

If you would like to learn more about the services we provide, we invite you to visit us on the web at WWW.YFSOK.ORG

/yfsok @Hope_TheDog