THE ROTARY CLUB OF FERNDOWN

In this issue

George’s Gossip

Christmas Greetings

Grandkids know Best

Paupers Lunch

Inner Wheel Greetings

Hog Roast

Food Bank Collection

RYLA & Sturts Farm

Inner Wheel Report

A Good Read

Sports Report

News from Oz

Tale of Woe

Special points of interest:

Meets at Cobhams Sports and Social Club

Merley Park Road Wimborne

Telephone: 01202 885773

E-Mail: cobhamsport@btconnect..com

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Service above Self

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George’s Gossip

“Tis the season to be jolly.”

Tra-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!

I hope you are all in good festive cheer. All is being made

ready in the Phillips household for Christmas at home this

year. I probably won’t be able to do much more after all

these Christmas dinners. (And, yes, they do count as visits to

other clubs!) I’m looking forward to carols tonight at St

Mary’s with Sarah Pix and Julie Robinson. Lots of presents

to buy for family. I hope you will all have an equally happy

time over Christmas.

While we are in this festive season, thoughts do turn to those

suffering in the UK in Cumbria as well as all those in dire

circumstances in other parts of the world. Rotary continues

to play its part in helping others with donations and practi-

cal help. A tradition you can all be proud of. Treasurer

Richard has already sent off £200 to District, who are amal-

gamating it and sending it on to the Lancashire District.

Only one more meeting this year, where you will be enter-

tained by students from Ferndown Upper School.

Merry Christmas everybody. See you at Poole

Yacht Club on Friday 18th!

George

Merry Christmas

To all Our Rotary Friends

from

George & Maddy

and

Bailey

Merry Christmas

Chris & Diana

Seasons Greetings

Howard & June

Joyeux Noel

Jenny & Julian

Merry Christmas

Neil & Pat

Happy Holidays

Paul & Sue

Merry Christmas

Gerry & Sandra

Seasons Greetings

Jim & Lizzie

Happy Holidays

John & Sheila

Merry Christmas

Martyn & Maddy

Kuài yuè shèngdàn dàzhàn

Christopher & Sukting

Happy Holidays

Alan & Bob

Merry Christmas

Lou & Angela

Seasons Greetings

Tim & Pat

Seasons Greetings

Helen

Merry Christmas

John & Linda

Happy Holidays

Norman

Merry Christmas

Geoff & Pauline

Seasons Greetings

Eileen

Happy Holidays

Malcom & Jill

Merry Christmas

Les & Helen

Happy Holidays

Richard

Seasons Greetings

John & Val

Merry Christmas

Paul & Jean Seasons Greetings

Mike & Sue

Seasons Greetings

Ove & Cynthia

Happy Holidays

Bill

Merry Christmas

Gordon

Happy Holidays

Malcom & Janet

Merry Christmas

Derrick & Pam

Merry Christmas

&

A Happy New Year

Neville & Maureen

Grand Children know best

Just ask Jenny

Hi Grandma,

Whether you want to update to windows 10 depends on how you are finding what

you currently have. The main big difference is how it looks and how you use

it for example it has a proper start menu as opposed to opening in full

screen when you click the bottom left hand corner but if you are used to

what you have it will be a fairly major change and could take a bit of time

to find all of your previously installed programs.

One thing that has changed with windows 10 is they have stopped supporting

windows media player (that is the software you probably use to play videos

if you use it) so it will not be there if you upgrade. You can get third

party alternatives if you need to though and I can recommend some if you

need them (VLC media player is fairly good)

Overall the big differences are the visuals and usability adjustments as

well as performance improvements on demanding tasks on higher end systems

which won't affect you.

Hopefully this has helped but I would only recommend updating if you are not

happy with what you have or struggle to understand how to use the start

menu. If you choose not to update and want to stop the emails, there should

be an option at the bottom of the email to stop receiving them. If you do

decide to update, I would recommend installing it from

Directly just in case it is a dodgy email with a fake like. If you have any more questions just ask.

Joseph

http://www.microsoft.com/en-gb/software-download/windows10

May I give you advance notice of the Inner Wheel function to be held in January 2016. On

Sunday January 10th we celebrate International Inner Wheel day and we have decided to hold

a "Paupers Lunch" at the home of Jill and Michael Clampin from 12.30-2.30.The plan is to

serve a simple meal of home made soup( with bread) and a pudding, also providing fruit juice

and water. We wish to invite Ferndown Rotarians and their partners to join us. The charge will

be in the region of £5 per head, and any profit made will go into our benevolent fund. If you

prefer to drink wine may we suggest that you bring your own.

International Inner Wheel

Theme 20125—2016

Christmas Crackers

I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Appar-ently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in

mind.

Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on Friday this year". Mick

said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th then." .

I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpa-

per. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.

Two women called at my door and asked what bread I ate, when I said white they gave me a lecture on the benefits of brown bread for 30 minutes. I think they were those Hovis

Witnesses.

Neville has been banned from his Golf Society after he was tested positive for WD40.

Rotary Hog Roast

Penny’s Walk

at

Ferndown’s

Christmas Lights Switch On A great job by Derrick in organising the Hog Roast, I did my bit, I bought three and I have to ad-

mit that they were very enjoyable, all Maureen got was a kiss from Derrick. I think I had the best

deal.

Diana and Mary

Collecting for the Foodbank

A Good evening was enjoyed by us all when we were introduced by Eileen Bray to two students

who went on Rotary’s RYLA course, they both said how much they enjoyed the course and from

the way they both spoke it showed how much their confidence had grown because of the experi-

ence, this was followed by a presentation from Sturts Farm introduced by Helen Chiari, their talk

ended with a musical recital, we had hoped that Helen was going to join in but no such luck, maybe

next time.

INNER WHEEL December 2015

We joined nearly 200 ladies from 25 other clubs in District 11 at the Hamworthy Club for

the annual International Service Rally.

District Chairman Alisson Smith and District International Service Chairman Liz Bandey

welcomed Ann Acaster, Association International Service Committee Chairman, and Past District

Governor Don Short, Director of the Rotary Jaipur Limb Project in Africa.

Ann promoted the charity School in a Bag, which she has chosen for members across Great

Britain and Ireland to support during the IW year to June 2016. This charity, initiated in 2009, de-

livers rucksacks filled with stationery, learning resources and eating utensils to poor, orphan, vul-

nerable and disaster-affected children around the world.

Don presented the work of Rotary Jaipur Limb Project, the charity being supported by Dis-

trict 11 this IW year. Our stall of hand-made craft items raised £284.50 for the Heal Project on the

day, subsequent sales increasing the total to £350. We collected £16o at Tesco for the Ringwood

Food Bank.

Sixth-former Chloe Tuffrey shared with us experiences of her summer trip to Romania with

the Libra Foundation, for which we had contributed to her expenses. She spent two weeks as part

of a team (12 UK students, 2 Romanian volunteers and 4 leaders) at Bradet rehabilitation centre,

providing a programme of activities, both indoor and outdoor, for around 90 residents (8 to mid-

20s) with a variety of disabilities. She learned a lot, and said it was good to know they had made a

difference.

Happy Christmas! Celebrate with joy.

MARY TUFFREY

Club Correspondent

A Good Read

Wednesday 11 November saw the Club's annual "Good Read" evening. Members were invited to

introduce a book that they had enjoyed recently and explain why they thought other members

would enjoy it too. This process not only presents a wide range of books to members but also in-

troduces them to authors that might otherwise pass them by. Five members introduced books:

Helen Chiari told us about The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro

Julian Daniel had enjoyed Sepulchre by Kate Mosse

Mike Fenner recommended Word of Honour by Nelson de Mille

Howard Lewis introduced Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand

Mike Sismey (in absentia) suggested Head of State by Andrew Marr

A vote was taken as to which book members felt they were most likely to go out and buy or bor-

row. All books received a good number of votes but the winner by 1 vote was Mike Fenner with

Word of Honour.

My thanks to all those who participated. Happy reading!

Tim Lee

Skittled by Sturminster

Herewith Club's Sports Report as promised. "Ferndown's interest in the District Skit-

tles competition came to an abrupt end at the British Legion Sturminster Newton on

Monday. However, our team performed manfully against a strong Sturminster side

and in fact on rounds the score was 3-3 but Sturminster's heavy scoring saw them

finishing 27 ahead. (I think one or two of their chaps had played before.!?!?) High-

lights for Ferndown was Martyn's "stick up" of 14 was the nights best score whilst

new boy Neil made an impressive debut! My thanks to the following team members

for turning out to the depths of Dorset to represent the Club. Messrs. James, Fenner,

Marshall, Meldrum, Jones, Field & Sanders."

John Smith

Sports Officer

The Syrian Conflict Explained

A highly restricted briefing document on Syria …

President Assad ( who is bad ) is a nasty guy who got so nasty his people rebelled and the Rebels ( who

are good ) started winning ( Hurrah!). But then some of the rebels turned a bit nasty and are now called

Islamic State ( who are definitely bad!) and some continued to support democracy ( who are still good.)

So the Americans ( who are good ) started bombing Islamic State ( who are bad ) and giving arms to the

Syrian Rebels ( who are good ) so they could fight Assad ( who is still bad ) which was good.

By the way, there is a breakaway state in the north run by the Kurds who want to fight IS ( which is a

good thing ) but the Turkish authorities think they are bad, so we have to say they are bad whilst se-

cretly thinking they're good and giving them guns to fight IS (which is good) but that is another matter.

Getting back to Syria.

So President Putin ( who is bad, cos he invaded Crimea and the Ukraine and killed lots of folks includ-

ing that nice Russian man in London with polonium poisoned sushi ) has decided to back Assad ( who

is still bad ) by attacking IS ( who are also bad ) which is sort of a good thing? But Putin ( still bad )

thinks the Syrian Rebels ( who are good ) are also bad, and so he bombs them too, much to the annoy-

ance of the Americans ( who are good ) who are busy backing and arming the rebels ( who are also

good).

Now Iran ( who used to be bad, but now they have agreed not to build any nuclear weapons and bomb

Israel are now good ) are going to provide ground troops to support Assad ( still bad ) as are the Rus-

sians ( bad ) who now have ground troops and aircraft in Syria. So a Coalition of Assad ( still bad )

Putin ( extra bad ) and the Iranians ( good, but in a bad sort of way ) are going to attack IS ( who are

bad ) which is a good thing, but also the Syrian Rebels ( who are good ) which is bad.

Now the British ( obviously good, except that nice Mr Corbyn in the corduroy jacket, who is probably

bad ) and the Americans ( also good ) cannot attack Assad ( still bad ) for fear of upsetting Putin ( bad )

and Iran ( good / bad) and now they have to accept that Assad might not be that bad after all compared

to IS ( who are super bad). So Assad ( bad ) is now probably good, being better than IS ( but lets face it,

drinking your own wee is better than IS so no real choice there ) and since Putin and Iran are also fight-

ing IS that may now make them Good. America ( still Good ) will find it hard to arm a group of rebels

being attacked by the Russians for fear of upsetting Mr Putin ( now good ) and that nice mad Ayatollah

in Iran ( also Good ) and so they may be forced to say that the Rebels are now Bad, or at the very least

abandon them to their fate. This will lead most of them to flee to Turkey and on to Europe or join IS

( still the only constantly bad group).

To Sunni Muslims, an attack by Shia Muslims ( Assad and Iran ) backed by Russians will be seen as

something of a Holy War, and the ranks of IS will now be seen by the Sunnis as the only Jihadis fight-

ing in the Holy War and hence many Muslims will now see IS as Good ( Doh!.) Sunni Muslims will

also see the lack of action by Britain and America in support of their Sunni rebel brothers as something

of a betrayal ( mmm…might have a point…) and hence we will be seen as Bad.

So now we have America ( now bad ) and Britain ( also bad ) providing limited support to Sunni Rebels

( bad ) many of whom are looking to IS ( Good / bad ) for support against Assad ( now good ) who,

along with Iran ( also Good) and Putin ( also, now, unbelievably, Good ) are attempting to retake the

country Assad used to run before all this started?

I hope that clears all this up for you.

NEWSLETTER FROM OZ

Hi all, greetings to you all from Norfolk Island in the South Pacific. This Island

is about 5 miles by 2 miles and is about 700km north of New Zealand and about

1000 kms east of mainland Australia. It has a resident population of 1800 and

about 28,000 tourists visit each year. There are just 5 flights per week 2 from

Sydney, 2 from Brisbane and 1 from Auckland. I am writing this on Monday af-

ternoon23 November, we return to Brisbane tomorrow and then leave on Thurs-

day for Melbourne.

Norfolk Island is just wonderful. It has so much history from the convicts land-

ing here a couple of hundred years ago followed by settlers from Pitcairn Island

which is some 3000 miles away in the Pacific. There are gravestones in the ceme-

tery from some of the convicts who were executed at the gallows. They have kept

the ruins of the prison, the guards quarters etc. etc and these are now a World

Heritage site. The Island folk are very laid back. There are more cows on the Is-

land than residents. There are also feral chicken which wake us up at silly

o’clock most mornings.

On Saturday we visited Cascade Port. It is just a tiny landing stage where the

local fishermen can launch their boats. A fisherman had just landed his catch

and we watched as he gutted the fish. He then threw the head and other parts

not wanted back into the ocean and to our utter amazement we saw large shark

fighting to eat what had been thrown back. There must have been at least 20

shark, maybe more and some were between 2 and 3 metres in length. This was

no tourist attraction this was for real with these huge shark fighting to get a feed.

What was so amazing was there were King fish present, about 1 metre in length

but the shark did not bother them and also shoals of very tiny fish. We chatted

to the fishermen who only go fishing for pleasure not commercially. They asked

if we wanted some fresh fish. They cut and gut about 6 fish which they gave us.

We took them home, washed them and then had them for dinner on Saturday

night, they tasted fantastic.

We have driven to every view point on the island and it is truly picturesque. We

attended an island welcome dinner one night and that was great with local foods

provided. We also went on a historical tour of the Island. Our guide ‘Trent’was

an 8th generation Norfolk Islander and very knowledgeable about the history of

Norfolk. We also went on an historical walking tour of the convict area followed

by a walk in the footsteps of the first settlers from Pitcairn back in the early

1800’s.

This has been a great experience. There is so much to see and do here. It is politi-

cally part of Australia but nothing like anywhere else in Australia I have visited.

They receive fresh milk only once a week flown in from New Zealand. Their pro-

visions come by boat again from NZ every 6 weeks. The shops however are full

with groceries, clothes, gifts etc. etc. There are great restaurants and places for

coffee. Beautiful beaches which are safe with NO sharks.

This has been a fabulous experience we will both treasure. Only 2 hours flight on

Air New Zealand back ‘home’ tomorrow. Wednesday we will be getting ready

for an early trip back to Brisbane Airport for our flight to Melbourne but time

for Rotary at Ipswich R.C. on Wednesday evening.

More to come in our next newsletter.

A tale of Woe by Jenny and Julian

But All’s Well that Ends Well

AND ALL BECAUSE HE FELL OF HIS BIKE.

He came to look at the cottage in April when our offer to buy had been accepted. Sadly dear Bar-

bara, the owner, died the day before we were due to sign, therefore Probate. However, since it

was subject to survey we were allowed to call in all the necessary experts to give us their opinion.

Jeff, our builder friend of sixteen years or so, is not only a builder but tiler, plasterer and a wonder-

ful and artistic carpenter. He is a "cottage man" loved it and told us everything that we needed to

do. We felt safe in his hands. Two days before we were due to return in September after Probate

was granted, he phoned us to say he had fallen off his mountain bike during a competition and had

cracked six ribs and fractured his collarbone in three places. There we were with a 160 old cottage

with no idea what to do with it.

Jeff found us Nathan and Dean, two young plumbers who worked well. On their second visit Dean

found us a "sparky" who said he would come that day. He didn't arrive. Dean said we could leave

it to him to contact him. Three days later, no news so we contacted Nathan who told us Dean's

mobile had broken and he had lost all his numbers. Finally, we found a list on the Neighbourhood

Watch leaflet, phoned two and only one replied who proved to be excellent, reliable and compe-

tent. He did "the first fix"!. Then we needed a plasterer. Jeff gave us the phone number of Billy

whom we phoned and found he was in Great Yarmouth at an Elvis weekend.! He said he would do

the job and would come on Friday to see what had to be done and then do the work on Saturday

after the electrician had done the first fix !!!!

Next we needed a carpenter to build in the wardrobes at each side of the chimney breast in the two

upstairs bedrooms. The chap in the shop where we bought our sandwiches for lunch recommended

Joe. When we phoned him he was in Monaco involved in a cycle race! However, he said he could

do the job and was the best thing that happened to us. Twenty six years of age, runs a building

business, totally competent in all aspects, and organizes a team of chaps. He doesn't walk, he runs,

if you blink you miss him. He too loves cottages and loves working on something which it is chal-

lenge - it certainly was. He went through the house telling us what had to be done everywhere.

We wished we had found him first, however, he was going to build in the wardrobes.

Friday morning at 5 am (yes) we had a text from the plasterer saying that because of "the road

works and the wife driving" he didn't think he could do the job in the time he had allowed so per-

haps it would be better if we found someone else! Fortunately, we had found Joe who was happy

to do the job and we had total confidence in him. Next was the tiler, Kev, recommended by Nathan

who was excellent.

In the meantime, we had started right away on painting the doors and walls and Julian did an excel-

lent job on the kitchen. Jenny did the garden as well. It was hard work. With Jeff, he would have

supplied everything while now it was for us to buy all the materials, hinges, brackets, quadrant, etc

and things we didn't know existed. We had planned to be in Ferndown (in our caravan) for six

weeks. It was in fact nine weeks and we finished by the skin of our teeth on the morning of the

25th of November, catching the overnight boat to France.

We are very pleased with the end result. It is as good as we had hoped, it is on Right Move, and

now we are awaiting tenants. Not the right time for people to think about renting a property but

couldn't be helped. We worked as hard as we could. It will probably be after Christmas that peo-

ple will start to think about moving.

The Object of Rotary

The object of Rotary is to encourage and foster the ideal of service as

a basis of worthy enterprise and, in particular, to encourage and fos-

ter:

1. The development of acquaintance as an opportunity for service.

2. High ethical standards in business and professions, and the

recognition of the worthiness of all useful occupations and the

dignifying of each Rotarian’s occupation as an opportunity to

serve society.

3. The application of the ideal of service in each Rotarian’s

personal, business and community life.

4. The advancement of international understanding, goodwill

and peace through a world fellowship of business and

professional persons united in the ideal of service.

The “Four-Way Test”

First: Is it the truth

Second: Is it fair to all Concerned?

Third: Will it build goodwill and better friend ships

Fourth: Will it be beneficial to all concerned

Business Partners of Ferndown Rotary Club Helping Our Community

Haskins Garden Centres

Henderson’s Opticians

Hendy Group Motor Dealers

Insley & Partners,Solicitors

A.E.Jolliffe & Sons, Funeral Directors

Kingston PTM Financial Advisers

Merlo UK Ltd

Moors Pharmacy

Simon R Puddle, Certified Accountant

Swift Body Repairs

The Practice at Ferndown, Osteopaths

The Roman Group Printers

We are extremely grateful for their support