getting married before finishing school

8/19/2019 Getting Married Before Finishing School

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Getting married before nishing school…what do you think?posted 2 years a go in 20 Something

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Member12 postsNewbee

• Bunni91•

2 years ag oI just want to know everyone’s o pinion…what do you think o f getting married before nishing

undergrad at the age o f 23? And do you think o ne needs to nish masters b efore t hey sh ould g et

married as well??

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Member2744 postsSugar bee

• bitsybee• 2 years ag o• Wedding: May 2015

Bunni91: P eople should d o what’s r ight for them. However, as so meone who has see n many p eople

get married before 25 (and subsequently divorced), I’m glad I didn’t.

I wouldn’t have wanted to be in a long distance marriage or com promised my e ducational goals f or a

marriage in my early 20s, so I’m glad I didn’t get married.

One of my g irlfriends g ave up a full tuition scholarship to go to the same college as h er high school

boyfriend. They got married in college. As f ar as I know, they are still married though her

compromises f or their relationship has a ffected her career path (darn glass c eiling) and has r esultedin a b oob job.

At the end of the day, her choices, her l ife and it doesn’t affect me. Same thing with people who get

married young and d ivorced.

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Member318 p osts

Helper bee• znowbird22• 2 years ag o• Wedding: November 2014

I wouldnt recomend it. I had a few classmates who got married durring a crazy semester and

honestly, they have regreted it because they s aid they c ouldnt fully e njoy their experience as a bride

while under al l the school pressure. they kind of rushed through decisions because they did not have

time to gure out the little details. I decided to wait untill i nsihed and im glad I have. But it really

depends on what you want. If you just want to get married and not care about the details t hen go for

it.

• This reply was m odied 1 yea r, 9 m onths a go by znowbird22 .

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Member1808 posts

Buzzing be e• mgbser • 2 years ag o• Wedding: July 20 14

I think b efore nishing undergrad is ve ry d ifficult. I only k now one person who did that and they gotdivorced a few years later. I think they w ere s o yo ung a nd h ad s o m uch stress w ith s chool, having a

social life and being involved with clubs/activities on campus (so important for an undergraduate)

and building their life together that they d idn’t take time to continue working on their relationship and

it fell apart. However, I think i t is p erfectly ne to get married while doing a graduate degree. I will be

doing that myself (I’m 26 and I still have about another year of my P hD)- I just think y ou are older

then and more able to juggle more things, and generally there are less cl asses and more

independant work, and you can plan that around your life (it is a TON of work.. just a bit more

exible). L ots o f people a re m arried in g raduate s chool and e ven h ave t heir own families, so there

really isn’t any p ressure t o s pend a lot of time p hysically on campus. And these d ays m ore a nd m orepeople are p ursuing a dvanced degrees a nd you c an’t really e xpect people to wait until their 30s t o

get married JUST because of school.

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Member332 p osts

Helper bee• amoore2• 2 years ag o• Wedding: Davis I sland Garden Club

I dont think t here is a ny right or wrong path, what works for one might not work for the other. But

personally I feel like getting married while in college can pose a challenge to both the education and

the m arriage.

I think it becomes more difficult to nish school when you have more responsibilites on your pl ate.

Wedding planning, house hunting, nurturing your marriage, cooking for your husband, having

children, etc…all of these things w ill compete for your attention while you are trying to nish your

degree.

Even if you can do it all, the late nights o f studying and cramming for exams c an take a toll on your

marriage too. As a newlywed it is so important to nurture yo ur marriage a nd begin to b uild your home

together an d your cou rse load may interfere.

I moved in w ith my F I in m y last semester of my u ndergrad. I had never lived outside of my p arents’

home and FI really p icked up the slack f or me. Cooking, cleaning, grocery sh opping, etc. was d ifficult

while working and going to school full time and FI took c are of it all. He went to bed every n ight alone

while I stayed up late to study. I am lucky t o have him, but I would be lying if I said it didnt strain our

relationship a bit.

As f ar as a Masters, I think that is d ependent on t he c areer you p lan to pursue. If you do d ecide t o

get your masters I would avoid taking a break in between, it is s o easy for life to get in the way.

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Member8226 posts

Bumble Beekeeper• housebee• 2 years ag o• Wedding: April 2013

Bunni91: I think a s l ong as yo u’re both nancially independent and feel ready to be married, it can

be done.

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• KatiePi•

2 years ag o• Wedding: December 2013

Bunni91: I think it depends o n your relationship and your goals f or after. My DH and I met at 20/21 (I

had just nished my Associates, was w orking on Bachelor’s a t the time). I personally wanted to be

nished with all of my s chooling before getting married and that’s w hat happened. I nished my

Master’s Jul y 20 13 and we married Dec. 2013 (ETA: we were both 2 5 a t our wedding). My DH is

slowly w orking through school while managing a business s o he is o nly p artially co mpleted with his

Bachelor’s. You guys do whatever is b est for you, but I think s chool adds a lot of stress while trying to

enjoy that time in your life. I like that we are newly m arried and are just working, but that doesn’t work

for everyone!

• This reply was m odied 1 yea r, 9 m onths a go by KatiePi .

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Member1986 posts

Buzzing be e• souza_2005• 2 years ag o• Wedding: May 2013

Bunni91: when i was yo ung i thought this b ut not anymore. i agree w ith O P, whatever you feel is

right for you. follow your heart. you never know what life will throw at you

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• atreyu547• 2 years ag o• Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

The only t hing I’d be concerNed with is t he stress (including nancially) of planning a wedding &

nishing school, but it can be done.

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20 postsNewbee

• s s!hu""er • 2 years ag o• Wedding: July 20 13

I was planning on getting married after ni shing college, but we ended up changing our m inds. Weknew we would b e t ogether so w e gured what was t he difference between having a year and a half

engagement or having a short engagement and starting our married lives t ogether. It will end up

saving us a lot of money so that is a plus as well. (Before we were both paying rent.) I have heard t he

longer your engagement the more m oney you e nd up paying for it… which a ctually seem s to be

about right in my ca se. We had everything ready to go in about 2 months now it is j ust a waiting

game a nd you just get more ideas t o a dd in which adds m ore m oney. I think w hatever you feel in

your gut and heart is r ight is t he path you should follow rather then a set of “rules.” I ended up being

home for C hristmas and got a ton of planning done then so that was very h elpful, because there are

denitely t imes i n college that are too stressful to add in wedding planning!

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• #usti!Bride17• 2 years ag o• Wedding: October 2017

Bunni91: As a n engaged college student myself, I personally co uld not imagine getting marriedbefore I was d one with school. Too much stress w ith co urse w ork a nd wedding planning. One of my

friends f rom school is g etting m arried and sh e m issed a few classes b ecause of wedding p lanning.

My F H and I have been together nearly 5 years, and we both really don’t want to wait, but we know

that planning a wedding right now would not be the wisest decision for us. We are going to get

married after I graduate with my b achelors d egree, so I see no reason on waiting until after grad

school as w ell especially si nce going to grad school is n ot a decision I have made 100% still…. I am

by no means sa ying yo u should wait, I have no idea w hat you are like and if you are g reat at multi-

tasking I say go for it. As for me, I have enough trouble nding time for school as it is w hile working

and trying to maintain some sort of social life. Hope this h elps a nd I don’t seem pushy a bout my

opinions… Sorry if I do!

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Member73 posts

Worker bee• $adyo%the$abyrinth•

2 years ag oBunni91: I have seen friends w ho h ave gotten married b efore graduating from their studies a nd they

have coped ne, however, they h ave had a lot of extra pressure and stress on them in regards to

wedding planning and household expectations. Personally I feel that studying is a n important part of

a person’s life if they don’t go straight into the workforce, so it is probably more benecial to graduate

from your major studies rst and get married afterwards.

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Member800 p osts

Busy bee• %resh%"owers• 2 years ag o• Wedding: August 2015

What’s t he rush? You are still young. Why not just wait the extra year (or whatever it may be) to let

yourself focus o n college, and THEN focus o n the wedding and being married.

Is t here a reason that you wish to get married earlier rather than later(nacial, insurance, etc.)?

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• s s!hu""er • 2 years ag o• Wedding: July 20 13

I don’t mean to be pushy a bout mine either. There are denitely p ros and cons of both sides I think.

The o ther side for me w as w hy w ait?… and I couldn’t really a nswer that question. As a c ollege

student/athlete I have found time for everything for the wedding and still maintained a 4.0 as w ell. So

as f ar as t he school argument that has b een ne f or me.. stressful at times? Sure.. but when isn’t

school stressful. Job searches a re stressful and so is h ouse hunting but people still plan through

these events a s w ell. You really just have to think a bout YOU. What is b est for YOUR relationship. If

the thought of it stresses yo u out… then consider waiting. If it doesn’t, then take an opportunity a nd

just keep working hard!

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Member613 p ostsBusy bee

• &rs&KB• 2 years ag o• Wedding: July 20 14

It depends on the people getting married.

FH and I both just turned 22, he graduated college but I have 1 more year of university, and we are

getting married in 16 days.

But, we have been together for 8 years, living together for 5.

We a re completely independent and h ave been e ngaged for 3 ye ars. So for us, it was time. I never

had any real issues w ith going to school, working and planning our wedding only w ith having time to

make wedding r elated appointments ( But the w edding is a lso in a different city, which is w hat really

made i t difficult).

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Getting married before nishing school… whatdo you think?posted 2 ye ars ag o in 20 Something

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Member1377 postsBumble bee

• su(ermariobroga"• 2 yea rs ag o• Wedding: August 2015

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I think i t really d epends o n the couple and the situation. FI and I started dating in high school 5 years a go. I’ve a

year left now of my master’s ( which may t urn i nto a P hD, dependent on a r esearch opportunity that just popped

up), and he’s got a year of his u ndergrad left (took an internship for a year). Are we waiting till after al l this

education stuff is do ne? N ah – we’re n ot sure w hen I’m going to b e d one, and h onestly we just want it to b e

official already, as w e’ve felt like a married couple for a couple years n ow. It really h asn’t been that stressful

between wedding planning and school and work. It’s h elped that we’re planning everything now for our w edding

in a y ear, rather than waiting a nd c onforming to a ‘normal’ time frame. We’re also pretty low-key a nd decisive,

so that’s h elped. Our wedding will be in a different city, but we’ve managed to make it work.
I’m also the

type of person that thrives o n stress/a long list of things t o do – I like having things t o occupy m y t ime, lol.

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Member59 posts

Worker bee• d%ord2s• 2 yea rs ag o• Wedding: November 2014

Bunni91: I’m getting married in November! I’m in the same boat.. At that time I’ll have a year of school left. I am

beyond excited and couldn’t be happier t o marry h im! I know that he will be helpful and supportive during the

schooling! I say d o what’s o n your heart! I couldn’t imagine waiting another year to get married!

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Member21 posts

Newbee• nhami"ton• 2 yea rs ag o• Wedding: May 20 15 - The Grand Hotel Marriott Resort, Golf Club & Spa

Don’t rush, enjoy you’re early 2 0’s!! You have all of your late 20’s a nd early 3 0’s t o plan a wedding! Take your

time! I would say take this t ime while y ou’re i n s chool to make decisions o n important things l ike venue,

photographer, etc. (b/c a ll this st uff takes T IME). Then when you graduate you will have almost everything

planned o ut and yo u’ll have your degree beind you.

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Member68 posts

Worker bee• britty• 2 yea rs ag o• Wedding: Aug 23, 2014

Finishing school was i mportant to m e. FI is 3 ye ars ol der, and when he p roposed he had n ished his Undergrad

but I had not. So we set the date for this A ugust!! and I just graduated in May!!

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9/43

But I think it really just de pends on your l ife goals…

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Member997 postsBusy bee

• $u'dis!• 2 yea rs ag o

It really d epends o n m ultiple factors, IMO. How old a re t hey? Are b oth newlyweds g oing to be s tudents, or is

one a lready in the workforce? D oes the couple in question want a full-blown wedding with a honeymoon, would

they prefer to e lope at the courthouse, or do t hey want something in b etween?

If both are still in

undergrad, and a wedding is important to them, then I believe that the p lanning a nd monetary co sts involved

could be overwhelming. Besides, if they a re in the age range for a traditional undergrad student, I’d say that

most people in that age g roup a ren’t ready for marriage. But there a re exceptions t o every rule, and I nd it

nearly impossible to g eneralize rel ationships.

DBF and I may e nd u p m arrying before co mpletingundergrad. Honestly, once we’re nancially independent and living together, I doubt we’ll see any reasons t o

wait. I am a second-year student who just turned 20, and DBF will be starting his rst year this f all just before

he turns 1 9. But I will add that chances a re that we’d elope if we decided to marry in college, so the wedding

planning and spending argument would be a m oot point.

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Member2267 posts

Buzzing bee• !ra!))thes)yy• 2 yea rs ag o• Wedding: June 2015

I think i t depends on the realtionship. For me personally, nishing school was important and I am glad that I did

— I’ve ch anged S O much since my un dergraduate ye ars. I think yo ur early 20 s ar e a time o f tremendous

growth, but I know people that have been together si nce that time and are doing well so it’s h ard t o say without

knowing the couple! Me personally, though? I wouldn’t do it!

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• anonybee0*10• 2 yea rs ag o• Wedding: October 2013

Don’t get married before nishing your undergrad. I can’t imagine a time in my life when money was tighter,

stress w as h igher, time w as m ore p recious a nd the future m ore u ncertain. You have so much time a nd I think

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10/43

you’ll nd that you’re a very d ifferent person at 21/22/23 than you are in your mid-to-late 20’s, with totally

different priorities.

As f or the master’s d egree, re-evaluate your situation 3-6 months a fter nishing your undergrad, and see if it

makes n ancial sense to marry b efore or af ter t hat phase of your education.

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Member197 posts

Blushing b ee• +eeing+unshine• 2 yea rs ag o• Wedding: November 2016

Do w hat is b est for you! My F I and I are w aiting u ntil we nish undergrad, but aren’t sure i f we w ill be g etting

married before I start my m asters o r during it.

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Member432 posts

Helper bee• %ran)"yn• 2 yea rs ag o• Wedding: August 2014

I’m still working o n m y undergrad. I took some t ime o ff after highschool, and t ravelled so am going to b e 2 6 n ext

year when we get married. We’ve been together 6 ye ars a nd it is r ight in terms o f our relationship to get

married. I am really looking forward to being m arried.

One thing to consider, if you aren’t disciplined, it is a lways way more fun to wedding plan than to do homework.

We’ve been ancially independant from our parents si nce we moved in together though. If your parents a re

paying your rent, car, phone, etc. I can see it being awkward.

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Member

709 postsBusy bee

• &rsKing212• 2 yea rs ag o• Wedding: January 2015

Please nish school- if you’re going to be together forever then what’s t he harm in waiting a short amount of

time.

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11/43

FYI I’ve b een with m y FI since I was 18, graduated and h ave worked f or three years an d n ow we’re g etting

married. At the time I thought I was r eady d uring college t o get married but really I am so glad we w aited a nd

have g rown together, made s ure w e’re the one for eac h o ther and we are n ow nanically st able (just bought our

own home an d we’re p aying for our dream wedding).

Looking back, I was nowhere near r eady for that when I was still at school (even though I would have swornblue in the face that I was!)

• This r eply was m odied 1 year, 8 m onths a go by MrsKing212 .

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• &iss_,_xx• 2 yea rs ag o• Wedding: March 2015

Bunni91: I’ll be nishing my m asters ab out 6 months before our wedding and my F I will also nish another

degree at the same time – I don’t think yo u ‘need’ to but if there’s n o rush, I think i t’s g ood to focus o n one big

thing at a time and give it all your time and energy ( if you do have the luxury to do so..)

We’re in our mid-late 20’s a nd both work full time (in our careers, we intend to stay in these similar elds a nd

continue to work ou r way up) – we denitely co uld have got married before nishing but we just wanted to wait

so that we’d have the time to enjoy it!

If we were still early t wenties I ’m quite sure we both would have wanted to wait.

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• &rs-"oi• 2 yea rs ag o• Wedding: October 2014

Bunni91: This is a really tricky decision.

Personally, I wanted to be nished with school when we set the wedding date. We got engaged while I was at

university, then s et our wedding d ate in 3 years t ime t o ensure I had graduated. I guess t he reasoning b ehind it

was t hat I wanted to be working full time in my d ream job before getting married. Also I didn’t quite feel like an

adult when I was s tudying.. So I felt silly g etting married any e arlier lol. I guess we still joke around like kids..

But we have stable jobs, a h ouse and live together comfortably.

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12/43

FI and I are o nly 2 3 a nd get married in O ctober. Our choice to wait was a lso helpful for us b ecause it has given

us a chance t o sa ve a lot more w ith two full time incomes co ming in e very w eek.

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Member150 posts

Blushing b ee• mrs2014• 2 yea rs ag o• Wedding: July 20 14

I really t hink i t’s a presonal choice. I am getting married this s ummer, at the age of 23 , but i have nished two

undergrad and two masters d egrees, moved not to one, but to two different countries and am fully n ancially

independent.

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Member484 posts

Helper bee• #hian%a./• 2 yea rs ag o• Wedding: November 2015

Do w hat is r ight for you a nd your SO/FI.

I did a Masters d egree while my S O went into fulltime work, I told him I didn’t want to be engaged during my

studies, because I knew I would be distracted and wouldn’t work a s h ard as I should o n m y st udies.

If you feel that you can g ive each part (study and wedding p lanning) the attention needed to do each well, then

go for i t. I found my MA really h ard to keep concentrated on, so neeeded no more excuses t o procrastinate!

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Member108 posts

Blushing b ee• obe&rs• 2 yea rs ag o• Wedding: May 2014

I dont think it’s a problem as l ong as yo u can balance both your student and m arriage responsibilities. I got

married at 23, but I had already g raduated uni and started working. I dont think I’m too young..

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13/43

Read more: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-before-nishing-school-what-do-you-

think/#ixzz42bzJ4YiI

Getting married before nishing school… whatdo you think?posted 2 ye ars ag o in 20 Something

• Pre'• 1• 2•

3


• nawe""a• 2 yea rs ag o• Wedding: August 2014

Bunni91: It really d epends. FI and I are getting married in the middle of working on our doctorates, I’ll be 24

and h e’ll be 28 at our wedding (2 m onths yay!) We have b een living together and going through school together

for 3 years. We’ve found ways to make it work together. It’s h ard being in school but it’s h elped us se e how

strong our r elationship is despite everything. Certainly, being in such a commited relationship sets limits oncareer, as we chose to live in the same location, but we are getting great educations. The next step will be

nding jobs i n the s ame a rea, and it may b e challenging, but we are w illing to m ake it work a nd have limited job

opportunities b ecause of how important our relationship is. Also we are ve ry r esponsible with chores, cooking,

grocery sh opping, etc. So we a re really in a place w here w e are r eady for marriage. Soooo it depends. It’s

important to evaluate your own situation. Better yet, if you aren’t sure, go talk t o a counselor/therapist. They’re

neutral about your decisions but they can help you think through the logistics, and you might only n eed to meet

a few times t o d o t hat. So worth it!

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Member3803 postsHoney bee

• )sn1219• 2 yea rs ag o• Wedding: May 2016

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14/43

Since yo u a re 23, I am assuming you are almost done with under grad. I think it would b e o kay to get married

when you’re that close to graduation. I also don’t think yo u should wait til after grad school. If you were just

starting your undergrad I would think i t was a little early, but not if you are toward the end.

I’m 22 and have a year of undergrad left, as does my S O. We have been together for 5 ye ars, living together for

3.5. We’re not your average college couple and I denitely t hink w e could get married while we were still inschool, since w e a re p retty much m arried anyways b esides a piece o f paper. On the other hand my friend is 20 ,

just nished her second year and

think s he will go back to school once she is m arried. I just think it really d epends o n the couple.

• This r eply was m odied 1 year, 8 m onths a go by ksn1219 .

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Member

20 postsNewbee

• Panda13• 2 yea rs ag o• Wedding: September 2014

Bunni91: I would wait until you are nished u ndergrad, for several reasons. You w ill not be able t o e njoy the

planning of your w edding if you also have to burden of studying for your current classes p lus t rying to prepare

for the GREs a nd applying to Grad school. It will be close to impossible and it could put a serious st rain on you

and potentially yo ur r elationship. Once you are i n Grad school though, it really d epends on your el d and

degree program. A lot of people in Grad programs a re already married anyways, so that really d epends. In

addition, I would make sure that getting married won’t affect any nancial aid you are currently r ecieveing, since

you w ill go from your parents’ dependent to a s pouse, and both you a nd your partner’s d ebt/income w ill factor

into how much aid y ou w ill get in the future.

Even if you get engaged before graduating, I would suggest waitint until you’re nished with undergrad before

really p lanning the wedding seriously. You want to enjoy this t ime and not put any undue stress o n yourself and

your future spouse!

Reply Flag

Member481 posts

Helper bee• +exy at$ady• 1 yea r ago

Bunni91: Honestly, I don’t see a problem with it. My p artner and I lived together through college (undergrad for

me, grad school for hi m), and came out just ne. I don’t see why b eing married would have m ade a difference;

for one , he’s 1 0 years o lder than m e (mid 30s) and got and though I’m young, I never w anted the college

“partying” experience. For some people, getting married during college could work just ne!

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15/43

Maybe paying for a w edding would be the only b arrier? A courthouse wedding or el opement would x that,

though.

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• e""y3• 1 yea r ago• Wedding: March 2016

I would wait. What’s t he rush?

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Hostess24445 p osts

Honey Beekeeper• &rs+a"t/ater a%%y• 1 yea r ago• Wedding: June 2009

My husband a nd I got married right after he n ished s chool (I nished a ye ar early). I was 20 and we w as 2 1.

We have been married for 5.5 years n ow. If you are supporting yourself already, then I don’t really se e a

problem with it. Every r elationship is d ifferent and what works f or some wouldn’t work for others.

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• essmm• 1 yea r ago• Wedding: June 2015

I’m getting m arried in J une a nd I’ll have about 1 1 /2-2 ye ars left because I changed m y major. He’s g raduating

in June, but I think it depends o n the couple. I wouldn’t recommend it for everyone, but I’m very h appy and I

know other people who’ve gotten married b efore t hey graduate a nd it’s l asted.

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• natassia)ay• 1 yea r ago

http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-before-finishing-school-what-do-you-think/page/3#new-posthttp://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-before-finishing-school-what-do-you-think/page/3#post-7834449http://www.weddingbee.com/members/jelly3?section=boardshttp://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-before-finishing-school-what-do-you-think/page/3#new-posthttp://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-before-finishing-school-what-do-you-think/page/3#post-8014554http://www.weddingbee.com/members/MrsSaltWaterTaffy?section=boardshttp://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-before-finishing-school-what-do-you-think/page/3#new-posthttp://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-before-finishing-school-what-do-you-think/page/3#post-8014567http://www.weddingbee.com/members/jessmm?section=boardshttp://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-before-finishing-school-what-do-you-think/page/3#new-posthttp://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-before-finishing-school-what-do-you-think/page/3#post-8289961http://www.weddingbee.com/members/natassiakay?section=boardshttp://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-before-finishing-school-what-do-you-think/page/3#new-posthttp://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-before-finishing-school-what-do-you-think/page/3#post-7834449http://www.weddingbee.com/members/jelly3?section=boardshttp://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-before-finishing-school-what-do-you-think/page/3#new-posthttp://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-before-finishing-school-what-do-you-think/page/3#post-8014554http://www.weddingbee.com/members/MrsSaltWaterTaffy?section=boardshttp://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-before-finishing-school-what-do-you-think/page/3#new-posthttp://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-before-finishing-school-what-do-you-think/page/3#post-8014567http://www.weddingbee.com/members/jessmm?section=boardshttp://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-before-finishing-school-what-do-you-think/page/3#new-posthttp://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-before-finishing-school-what-do-you-think/page/3#post-8289961http://www.weddingbee.com/members/natassiakay?section=boards


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My Dad is p retty traditional meaning my a nce and I weren’t going to m ove in together before g etting m arried.

So we k new we w anted to g et married close a fter graduation. He p roposed to m e r ight after my Ju nior year of

college. He had just nished his r st year of his M aster’s. He asked for m y d ad’s b lessing before hand and my

dad said yes as long as we wait until after I graduated. He of course agreed and so that’s w hat we did. I was

planning the wedding a ll through m y S enior year which was f un but took a lot of time, but everything was local

since we would b e getting married on campus. He n ished h is Master’s a nd is h alf a ye ar younger than me

which is p retty impressive but it all worked well for us because our families w ere h appy and therefore super

supportive nancially, physically, and e motionally with our wedding. Good luck!

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Read more: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-before-nishing-school-what-do-you-

think/#ixzz42bzOsDjd

…………………………………………………

When to get married: Before or after graduation?These days I am seeing some articles (Biye: Porashona Sheshe, na Majhei) going onin the women’s pages on this topic, when is the right time for a woman to get married efore or after grad!ation from college ("ndergrad!ate program)# $ecently I recei%edan article from a yo!ng woman from &ha'a on the same topic# She nicely presentedsome case st!dies showing the fact that getting married efore grad!ation seems to ea pop!lar choice !t when something !ne pected happens (sic'ness, death, di%orce) itleads to m!ch less fa%ora le conse !ences# *ence she, li'e other articles I mentionedcame to the concl!sion that women sho!ld get married only after they ha%e earnedtheir achelor’s degree# I was wondering is it really that lac' and white decision+

et’s ta'e a good loo' on this topic#The history of women’s ed!cation in Indian S! continent oth at the primary andcollege le%els is fairly new# It was the parent’s responsi ility to ed!cate the girls withreligio!s rit!als and ho!sehold acti%ities in order to find a read earner (read-h!s and-) for her# So the parents wanted to get it done as soon as possi le eca!se

http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-before-finishing-school-what-do-you-think/page/3#new-posthttp://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-before-finishing-school-what-do-you-think/page/3#post-8295236http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-before-finishing-school-what-do-you-think/#ixzz42bzOsDjdhttp://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-before-finishing-school-what-do-you-think/#ixzz42bzOsDjdhttp://www.adhunika.org/archives/90http://www.prothom-alo.net/v1/newhtmlnews1/feature.php?CategoryID=19&Date=2006-04-05http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-before-finishing-school-what-do-you-think/page/3#new-posthttp://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-before-finishing-school-what-do-you-think/page/3#post-8295236http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-before-finishing-school-what-do-you-think/#ixzz42bzOsDjdhttp://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-before-finishing-school-what-do-you-think/#ixzz42bzOsDjdhttp://www.adhunika.org/archives/90http://www.prothom-alo.net/v1/newhtmlnews1/feature.php?CategoryID=19&Date=2006-04-05


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that is the only way they co!ld ma'e s!re there is someone to s!pport their da!ghterafter their death#

.s time changed women now/a/days go for higher ed!cations and some of them ha%e

their own professional careers as well# This ed!cation is s!pposed to ma'e a womanmore financially independent therefore it sho!ld e m!ch less of a goal, when themarriage iss!e comes, to find a person who can s!pport her (financially)# It seemsco!nter int!iti%e tho!gh, in groom searching criteria it is still a top priority to ma'es!re the g!y ma'es or has the potential to ma'e good money# So whene%er there is a possi ility of a potential groom, parents and in some cases girls themsel%es don’thesitate to get married efore finishing their degrees#

There is co!ple of reasons that we can thin' of that wor's ehind this mentality:

0# 1inancial sec!rity is not good eno!gh in o!r society for a woman to li%e y herselfThe society still does not accept the fact %ery well that a women may li%e a decent lon her own2 and not get married#2 *a%e yo! noticed, almost no landlord inBangladesh rents o!t (apt3ho!se) to a single woman (who ne%er married efore)+ Shhas to stay either with the immediate family, in a wor'ing women’s hostel or withsome close relati%e#

This might e one of the iggest reasons parents still are concerned that they sho!ld

ma'e s!re their da!ghters are in 4good- hands#5# Ideally a person sho!ld e a le to grad!ate y the age of 55 (06 years for *S78 9year for !ndergrad degree), in reality a person ecomes 5 /56 years old when he3shecomes o!t of that program# Than's to o!r session jams and st!dent politics in the p! lic !ni%ersities;

howe%er, it is o!tside the scope of this article#)

?ow let’s see, If a woman want oth a family and a career then what are the options+Is it e%en possi le to ha%e oth+


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I elie%e yes, it is possi le# B!t e ad%ised that it is not something that will happena!tomatically# 1rom early age yo! need to set yo!r priorities# @%en when yo! are 06years old yo! are grown !p eno!gh to thin' a o!t yo!r f!t!re path#

1irst of all, don’t r!in yo!r higher st!dies y falling in lo%e with the good loo'ing g!yacross the street# Be open to girls and oys ali'e# By open I mean treat the oys asfriends as yo! wo!ld to a nice girl# ItA Cs o'ay to li'e someone !t don’t get toocarried away with it# Prepare yo!rself for yo!r !ni%ersity admission# .fter yo! are in a!ni%ersity, yo! will ha%e oys as yo!r class mates, st!dy partners etc# Do! will learnhow it is to wor' with them# Do! will learn how to see good things in people whenyo! get a chance to interact with them thro!gh yo!r academic programs# Be open andrespectf!l# It is not a good idea to 'eep aloof from oys and to ma'e friends with girlsonly#


19/43

It is hard to go against the family the society and most importantly to loose thecomfort of eing ta'en care of# B!t tr!st me, when yo! 'now yo!r intentions are goodyo! 'now yo! will o%ercome all those diffic!lties F 4&eep in yo!r heart do elie%ethat yo! will o%ercome some day-#

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF/

Sometimes to encouraging to getting marry before 30 age is better forthe individual as well as the society. On the other hand, there are factsfor the worse impact for both individual and society too.

As per the main point, if a person marries before 30 ages then theyhave more time to spend the time with their loved ones before theydie. For the girls their parents have made many restrictions for manythings. But when they marry soon they have get more freedom to goout with her husband and en oy the life more. And also when theymarry soon means, they will have babies soon too. !hen before theyget old they can see their babies getting grow and able to help themhealthy and "nancially stable way. !his is good for the individual wiseas well as the society wise. As young crowd will increase than the older

generation is better for the any of society. So people who are agreeingwith the main point are always thin#ing marrying earlier ages is thebest for a person$s life.

%ontrary, &f a person marry before 30 age, that means they might mostprobably have stopped their studies in the middle and have marriedwith someone. 'hen they are marrying, they need to ta#eresponsibilities more toward the family. !hen there will not have time

to continue the studies and that is one of bad side of marrying earlyages. and also normally 30 age is the time that person get more ideaabout the life and the responsibilities and that is the age peoplebecome more table in their career. (ostly women have to sacri"cetheir professional life due to early marrying. !his is very unfair from theindividual wise as that ma#e the waste of her learning till then. And


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also for the society wise, it will e)ect to reduce the wor# force in thecountry and this will lead to increase less educate people into thesociety.

As & mentioned there are pros and cons by marrying before or after 30age. But my opinion is to marrying before 30 age is not suitable asthere are more bad impacts that good. &n my point of view, &f a personmarry after 30 age they have more time to "nish their studies and gaingood e*perience of their career and also they will get more time to getgood understand of the life. !hat ma#es them to be more responsibleand ma#e them towards the family. So it is better to encourage peopleto marry after 30 ages when they are more stable in every angle andthis is good for the individuals and also the society in a good way.

+++++++++++


21/43

he +ur(rising Bene%its o% &arryingoung

&n (ay, ate and & celebrated our -0 th wedding anniversary.

& was and she was / when we got hitched. ate was in the middle of getting hermasters and & was "nishing up my undergrad degree. 'e lived in a small apartment,wor#ed together at amba uice 1come now, is there anything more manly than#nowing how to blend up a Strawberries 'ild2 , and shared both a car and a pile ofstudent debt.

& wouldn4t have had it any other way 5 it4s been an incredible ten years.


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But the relatively young age at which & got married ma#es me something of ananomaly these days. & remember when the mom of one of my high school buddiesfound out & was getting hitched before graduating, she loo#ed at me with somethinga#in to horror, and as#ed, 6 Why 27

&t4s become an article of faith in contemporary culture that you should put o)marriage so you can focus on your education and career "rst. %onse8uently, theaverage marrying age for both men and women has increased signi"cantly over thepast 90 years. &n -:;0 the median age for "rst marriage was 3 for men and 0 forwomen< it4s now : and =, respectively. As the researchers at the >ational(arriage ?ro ect at the @niversity of irginia put it, 6%ulturally, young adults haveincreasingly come to see marriage as a capstone4 rather than a cornerstone4 5that is, something they do after they have all their other duc#s in a row, rather thana foundation for launching into adulthood and parenthood.7

&s delaying marriage always the best path, though2 'hile getting married youngisn4t for everyone, there are actually some distinct bene"ts to doing so, and todaywe4ll tal# about what they are.

Before we get there, however, let4s "rst loo# into the big #noc# against youngmarriageC that it ma#es a couple more li#ely to divorce.

oes oung &arriage n!rease our han!es o% i'or!e6

Our modern trepidation about getting married young, and the idea that it4s wise todelay one4s nuptials, didn4t ust appear out of the ether. Desearch shows that

couples who get married before age 9 are twice as li#ely to get divorced.

!here are several factors at the root of this stat. For starters, some fol#s who getmarried before age 9 may be doing so with less forethought and intention. eep inmind that 6before age 97 encompasses not ust people in their early 0s, buteveryone on down to teenagers, who may be getting married impulsively orbecause an une*pected baby came along. &n fact, once you hit age 9, divorce ratesgo down by almost 90E.

conomics is another big factor. Gounger people who are ust starting out in life areoften battling "nancial problems that can put a lot of stress on a marriage.

Finally, a young couple may have children soon after getting married, and babiesare acute stressors as well as money leeches 1dem diapersH .

&n short, it is true that those who marry young have a higher chance of divorce, andit4s li#ely due to the pressures of immaturity, strained "nances, and theresponsibilities of childIrearing.

http://nationalmarriageproject.org/http://nationalmarriageproject.org/http://www.maselliwarren.com/2014/03/20/divorce-rates-increase-youre-25/http://nationalmarriageproject.org/http://nationalmarriageproject.org/http://www.maselliwarren.com/2014/03/20/divorce-rates-increase-youre-25/


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Get, none of these factors are set in stone, nor impossible to overcome. Gou can getmarried young and with intention, you don4t have to have #ids right o) the bat, and"nancial problems can be handled maturely, even if that means scrimping andsaving for a few years.

So too, ta#ing the plunge earlier on comes with a bunch of uni8ue bene"ts.

he Bene%its o% &arrying oung

'hen it comes to having a happy marriage, researchers have found that gettinghitched between the ages of and 9 seems to be the sweet spot. !hat4s ust anaverage, of course, but the bene"ts outlined below mostly focus on 6young7 asbeing one4s early to midItwenties.

You (and those you date) will be carrying less baggage. & was recently tal#ingto a single friend in his 30s who was bemoaning the dating scene for fol#s his age.Je said, 6'hen you loo# at it, if a person is reasonably normal, they4ve probablyhad about one semiIserious relationship each year, or every other year, sincethey4ve been teenagers. 'hen you get to your thirties, you4re carrying more than adecade4s worth of brea#Iups, lingering feelings for past partners, trust issues, anddisappointments with you. veryone you date has got a bunch of baggage.7

'hen you marry young, you and your wife have less e*es, old Kames, comparisons,and retroactive ealousy of each other4s past relationships to deal with. Gou can startlife together with more of the guileless freshness that lends itself to unabashed andlasting romance.

You’re more likely to marry someone with whom you’re highlycompatible. A lot of fol#s put o) marriage so they can shop around longer, thin#ingthat the more they loo#, the better chance they4ll have of "nding someone who4s

ust the right match for them.

Get research suggests you4re more li#ely to marry a true peer and someone whomyou have lots in common with if you marry in your 0s as opposed to later. &t ma#essense. %ouples who get married in their 0s often meet in college, a time in your lifewhen you4re surrounded by tons of people who are of similar age and bac#groundand have similar interests. &t4s easier to "nd someone who4s the yin to your yang inthe classes, clubs, and e*tracurriculars you4re interested in, than it is to sort, orswipe, through a random assortment of women online.

So too, the longer you wait to get married, the more ideal potential partners getta#en o) the mar#et. As Lr. (eg ay, author of The Defning Decade puts it, 6 venthough searching may help you "nd a better partner, the pool of available singlesshallows over time, perhaps in more ways than one.7

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3437253/http://demographic-research.org/volumes/vol29/20/29-20.pdfhttp://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0446561754/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0446561754&linkCode=as2&tag=stucosuccess-20http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3437253/http://demographic-research.org/volumes/vol29/20/29-20.pdfhttp://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0446561754/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0446561754&linkCode=as2&tag=stucosuccess-20


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You’ll ha e more se! (e en years after you marry). Staying single may seemli#e a good way to #eep the se*ual good times rolling. Get surprisinglyenough, research has actually shown that married men have more and better se*than their single peers. 'hy would this be2 Metting a woman to come home withyou, even if you4ve mastered ?@A techni8ues, ta#es time and e)ort. &nstead of

having to troll nightclubs or luc#ing out that the girl on !inder you4re interested inwill also swipe right, married guys got the (rs. to go home to.

&f you want to en oy a robust married se* life even in your 30s and /0s, the researchalso suggests that couples who tied the #not in their midItwenties have more se*than couples who got hitched later on. 'hy2 Desearchers aren4t sure. (aybe it4sbecause you have more energy for se* in your 0s, and what starts out hot andheavy, echoes on that way through the decades.

You’re more likely to describe your marriage as happy. A 0-0 study foundthat couples who married between the ages of and 9 were more li#ely todescribe their marriage as 6very happy7 than couples who got married in other agebrac#ets. !he researchers speculate the reason marital satisfaction declines afterthe age of 9 is that spouses that get married older often feel li#e they4re 6settling7with a lessIthanIideal marriage partner. 1See the point above on the early twentiesbeing the best time to "nd someone with whom you4re strongly compatible. (orese* may play a role as well.

(y own, as yet unstudied theory, is that it li#ely has to do with the state of yourbrain in your early twenties . &ts prefrontal corte* 5 the mature, disciplined, futureIplanning part 5 has largely formed, so you4re not as impulsive as you were in your

teens. But, it hasn4t completely "nished settling yet 1that happens around age ; ,so it4s still capable of feeling the #ind of intense passion, e*citement, comfort withris#Ita#ing, and true high from bonding with others that mar# one4s younger years.&t may be this perfect combo of ration and emotion that allows the 0Isomethingbrain to e*perience love in a more visceral and deeper way, and launches youngmarried couples into a stronger emotional connection with their spouse than theirolder marrying counterparts. By one4s late twenties, the brain has "nished settingup and its e*ecutive center wields stronger control< as a conse8uence, the passionsget chec#ed to a greater degree. Gou4re steadier, but it ta#es more to get e*citedabout things, including relationships.

You grow together . &t4s oft been noted that it4s more diNcult to oin two livestogether when each party has been living independently for a long time, than whena couple starts out life together early on. !here4s actually a neurological reasonbehind that observation.

Another of the uni8ue aspects of the developing 0Isomething brain is that you canintentionally shape its pathways so that they4re primed for future success in certain

http://www.nationalsexstudy.indiana.edu/http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1960017http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1960017http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3437253/http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/02/04/dont-waste-your-twenties-part-1-taking-advantage-of-the-unique-powers-of-the-twentysomething-brain/http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/02/04/dont-waste-your-twenties-part-1-taking-advantage-of-the-unique-powers-of-the-twentysomething-brain/http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/02/05/dont-waste-your-20s-train-your-brain-for-lasting-success/http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/02/05/dont-waste-your-20s-train-your-brain-for-lasting-success/http://www.nationalsexstudy.indiana.edu/http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1960017http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1960017http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3437253/http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/02/04/dont-waste-your-twenties-part-1-taking-advantage-of-the-unique-powers-of-the-twentysomething-brain/http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/02/04/dont-waste-your-twenties-part-1-taking-advantage-of-the-unique-powers-of-the-twentysomething-brain/http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/02/05/dont-waste-your-20s-train-your-brain-for-lasting-success/http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/02/05/dont-waste-your-20s-train-your-brain-for-lasting-success/


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areas . Luring your adolescence 1which again, lasts until the midI 0s , your brainoverproduces synapses< then, it organi es and prunes this overabundance of neuralpathways, getting rid of those not in use and strengthening and stabili ing thosethat are 5 much li#e an arborist prunes dead branches o) a tree. 'hat we don4tuse, we lose. As a conse8uence, ay e*plainsC 6'e become what we hear and see

and do every day. 'e don4t become what we don4t hear and see and do every day.7

Before this cognitive rewiring process is complete, your brain is more Ke*ible andpliable than it will ever be again in your life. &f what you4re seeing every day is yourspouse, and what you4re doing every day is wor#ing on a relationship with her, thenthe neural pathways you4ll retain once your brain 6hardens7 will be forged in a waythat is intertwined with hers, and predisposed to support your togetherness.

'hen you delay marriage, not only do you become more set in your ways, but yourbrain4s a lot more set too. &t4s de"nitely still possible to hac# relational 6us7pathways through the abundance of independent 6me7 trails that were deeplycarved in one4s adolescence, it4s ust harder to do.

You’ll ha e an easier time na igating your "#s$ and can be more successfulin reaching your professional and academic goals. Gour 0s can be a diNculttime. Gou4re balancing school and wor#, trying to get your "nances in shape,wor#ing to get a handle on your new adult responsibilities, and "guring out andlaunching your career. Javing a spouse by your side during this time can ma#e your

0s easier and more successful in a couple #ey ways.

First, a spouse can be a vital support as you "nish your schooling and embar# on a

career. Luring my undergrad years, ate edited my papers and helped me study forthe PSA!. Luring law school, she provided a much needed con"dence boost whensummer internship o)ers weren4t e*tended, or when & didn4t perform well on a "nale*am. &n turn, & acted as a sounding board for ate as she wor#ed on her master4sthesis, helped her get organi ed and plan for her "rst teaching ob, and provided ahelping hand when she got stressed during both pursuits. %ould we have made itthrough our 0s by ourselves2 Sure. But having each other4s bac#s certainly made ita lot easier.

(arriage also helps you reach your career and academic goals by providing stabilityand fostering focus. Sociali ing and dating re8uires a lot of time, money, andemotional bandwidth. 'hen you4ve found your partnerIinIcrime, you4re able to saveyour money and direct your energy towards your other life goals. &ndeed, studiesshow that married men in their 0s drin# less and wor# harder than their singlepeers.

!hat4s not to say that the fun times end once you get married though. !here4s aprevalent myth out there that early marriage will prevent you from doing cool stu)

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/02/05/dont-waste-your-20s-train-your-brain-for-lasting-success/http://twentysomethingmarriage.org/other-consequences-of-delayed-marriage/http://www.aei.org/publication/for-richer-for-poorer-how-family-structures-economic-success-in-america/http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/02/05/dont-waste-your-20s-train-your-brain-for-lasting-success/http://twentysomethingmarriage.org/other-consequences-of-delayed-marriage/http://www.aei.org/publication/for-richer-for-poorer-how-family-structures-economic-success-in-america/


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before you turn 30, li#e traveling the world or starting a business. On the contrary,having a spouse to pursue these activities with can ma#e such adventures bothmore en oyable and easier to e*ecute. & traveled far more after & got married than &had as a single man. And what4s easier than having the coIfounder of your startIupliving under the same roof as you2

Your %nancial picture may impro e. A lot of fol#s put o) marriage until they feeltheir "nances are sound, which in today4s world, is a goal that4s harder and harderto achieve. As we saw above, "nancial issues can indeed put a strain on youngmarriages. Get such challenges can be handled with maturity, and what may bestressful in the shortIterm can wor# towards your longIterm interests.

Desearch shows that getting married can signi"cantly improve your "nancialpicture. According to Ale* Doberts at the @ A4s >ational (arriage ?ro ect , those whomarry see 6income increases of 90 to -00 percent, and net wealth increases oabout 400 to 600 percent . %ontinuously married households had about double theincome and four times the net worth of the continuously divorced and neverImarried, on average.7

'hile some of this e)ect can be chal#ed up to selective mating 5 highIearning,highIsaving fol#s are more li#ely to get married, and to marry those li#e them 5much of the bene"t seems to come from marriage itself. For e*ample, research hasshown that married men ma#e up to Q-R# more a year than their single peers, evena ter controlling or di erences in education, race, ethnicity, regionalunemployment, and scores on a test o general nowledge . 'hy would marriagehave this e)ect2 'ell, as ust mentioned, married men wor# harder and

smarter. (arriage also allows spouses to pool their resources together. Finally, andperhaps most importantly, marriage encourages accountability and "scalresponsibility 5 your priorities change when you4re no longer only loo#ing out foryourself.

6!he point people miss,7 Doberts says , 6is that marriage is a tremendous wealthbuilding institution.7 !his fact sets up a catchI that4s all too prevalent in ourcultureC fol#s are waiting to get married until their "nances improve, but gettingmarried could improve their "nancesH

You’ll ha e an easier time ha ing kids$ increase their chances of beinghealthy$ and be better able to keep up with them. 'hile modern advanceshave allowed fol#s to postpone having children, the reality is that both men andwomen have a biological cloc# and having #ids gets harder and ris#ier the longeryou wait. !he research shows that children of older fathers have increased ris#s forseveral physical and mental disorders compared to children of younger fathers.

http://nationalmarriageproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/SOOU2009.pdfhttp://www.aei.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/IFS-ForRicherForPoorer-Final_Web.pdfhttp://www.aei.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/IFS-ForRicherForPoorer-Final_Web.pdfhttp://www.deseretnews.com/article/865574603/Marriage-improves-financial-net-worth.html?pg=allhttp://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/23/health/fathers-age-is-linked-to-risk-of-autism-and-schizophrenia.html?_r=0http://nationalmarriageproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/SOOU2009.pdfhttp://www.aei.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/IFS-ForRicherForPoorer-Final_Web.pdfhttp://www.aei.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/IFS-ForRicherForPoorer-Final_Web.pdfhttp://www.deseretnews.com/article/865574603/Marriage-improves-financial-net-worth.html?pg=allhttp://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/23/health/fathers-age-is-linked-to-risk-of-autism-and-schizophrenia.html?_r=0


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Besides being easier to conceive when you and your wife are younger, it4s also ustplain easier to raise your resulting progeny. Before & had #ids, people always told mehow tiring they could be, but & didn4t really believe them 5 & "gured & was "t andwould be the e*ception to the ruleH But &4ll be darned if babies and toddlers are notas e*hausting as all get out. %onse8uently, &4m glad & started having #ids in my 0s

when & had a little more energy to spare. &4m also glad & won4t be in my =0s when &have grand#idsH

Lon4t get me wrong 5 & #now plenty of older guys who do great as older dads. !hey4re in shape and full of vim and vigor and can #eep up with their #iddos andcareer. But even they4ve said to me privately that they wish they were 30 andstarting a family rather than /0.

You don’t ha e to cram marriage$ career$ and kids into a few shortyears. (any put o) marriage and children to focus on their education and career,only to have all of these responsibilities simultaneously, and stressfully, collide intheir 30s.

&f you marry when you4re 30, and you want to have #ids, you4ll have less Ke*ibilityas to when to have them 1and how you4d li#e to space em . Gou4ll have to getstarted with the babyIma#ing process fairly soon after tying the #not, which givesyou less childIfree years with your wife 5 some of the most en oyable years of amarriage. And at the same time that you4re settling into married life, and ad ustingto being a dad, your career is li#ely starting to ta#e o) too. @nsurprisingly, researchshows that those who delay marriage and children end up being saddled withgreater stress.

?ursuing marriage, children, and career in successive phases, allows you to en oyeach season to the fullest.

on!"usion 8 :;< -re ou +aying ,'eryone +hou"d =et &arried oung6

(arrying age is one of those topics that gets people all riled up and wanting to spewprofanities. For whatever reason, discussing lifestyle choices tends to breeddefensiveness 5 perhaps because choice itself has become our modern morality.

So let me be clear before we part waysC while marrying young can impart all thebene"ts outlined above, &4m not arguing that getting married younger is alwaysbetter than getting married when you4re older. >or am & saying that if you4re youngand single, you need to rush out and put a ring on the "nger of some gal.

Pi#e most things in life, there are pros and cons to each approach, and lifecircumstances are going to a)ect which path someone ta#es. !he most importantfactor in a happy marriage is not age, but choosing the right person . Sometimes

http://ann.sagepub.com/content/638/1/21.refshttp://ann.sagepub.com/content/638/1/21.refshttp://www.artofmanliness.com/2008/05/08/how-do-you-know-when-shes-the-one/http://ann.sagepub.com/content/638/1/21.refshttp://ann.sagepub.com/content/638/1/21.refshttp://www.artofmanliness.com/2008/05/08/how-do-you-know-when-shes-the-one/


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that happens earlier on in your life, and sometimes it ta#es longer. And those who"nd the peanut butter to their elly later in life can absolutely go on to havespectacularly happy marriages. !he research above deals with statisticalgenerali ations, and there are plenty of outliers that belie the rule. 'inston%hurchill and immy Stewart, for e*ample, married their wives at 3/ and /-

respectively, and yet they en oyed two of the happiest and longestIlastingmarriages in the pantheon of eminent men.

Dather than proving the superiority of marrying young, my goal with this article is tosimply provide some reassurance to the young gents out there who are in theirearly to midItwenties, have already met the right person, and feel li#e they4re readyto get hitched, but are scared to pull the trigger because they4ve heard the constantdrumbeat of 6(arry young and you4ll regret itH7 &n truth, you needn4t be afraid tota#e the plunge< as a study that analy ed marrying age and future happinessconcludedC 6most persons have little or nothing to gain in the way of maritalsuccess by deliberately postponing marriage beyond the mid twenties.7

&n other words, once you4ve found the gal you can4t live without, you shouldabsolutely feel con"dent in deciding to ta#e on the rest of your lives sideIbyIside,and embar#ing with her on one of life4s greatest adventures.

Did you get married young? What benefts do you think came rom it? Alternatively, i you got married older, share what you eel are theadvantages o that decision.

1.2. My bf of 6 years recently proposed and I will graduate with my bachelors in biology in

Spring 2014. He is wor ing as a teacher for two years before go

getting married before finishing school

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