handout of the presentation · p a g e | 3 whca/wical 55th annual spring conference 2017...

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WHCA/WiCAL 55th Annual Spring Conference 2017 “Celebrating HOME Together” – Rev. J. Scott Cartwright

WHCA/WiCAL 55th Annual Spring Conference – April 2017

HANDOUT OF THE PRESENTATION: Celebrating "HOME" Together: Helping Transform Your LTC Institution into a “COMMUNITY”

by Embracing the Spiritual Heart of "Culture Change"

Rev. Scott Cartwright, MDiv., BCC, Director of Spiritual Care Cerenity Senior Care of White Bear Lake

651-232-1842 [email protected]

1. Acknowledging and Setting the Stakes

a. Considering a LTC Culture Change “App”

b. The Stakeholders & Stakes

c. Identifying & Answering the Big Question

2. Homing in on “HOME”

a. Elders’ Views

b. Your View

c. The “Institution’s” View

d. Dynamic, Growing Views – Brief Listing - Top 25 Vital Spiritual Facets of “HOME”

3. From HOME to COMMUNITY

Keys to Community found in…

a. Monastic/Benedictine Communities (Benedict, Merton, Chittister)

b. L’Arche Communities (Vanier, Nouwen)

c. Eugene Peterson’s View of the Church

d. LTC “Culture Change” Household/Small House Model (Thomas, Sheilds/Norton)

e. Circles of Trust (Parker Palmer)

f. The True Community (M. Scott Peck)

g. The Learning Circle (Norton, etc.)

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4. Celebrating “HOME” Together in Community

a. Current Obstacles & Opportunities for LTC “HOME”/Community Transformation

i. Cerenity Senior Care of White Bear Lake’s Experience

ii. Your Facility/Organization’s Experience

iii. Noteworthy Obstacles and Opportunities

b. Re-Considering Our Stakes & Considering Our Plans

c. HOME/Community Blessing

Bibliography

Celebrating "HOME" Together Bibliography

Home, Community, Spirituality, and Aging

Rev. J. Scott Cartwright, MDiv., BCC, Director of Spritual Care, Cerenity Senior Care WBL

Beth Baker, Old Age in a New Age: The Promise of Transformative Nursing Homes, (Nashville:

Vanderbilt University Press), 2007.

Coleman Barks, transl., The Essential Rumi, (New York: Castle Books), 1995.

Coleman Barks, transl. and commentary, Rumi: the Book of Love: Poems of Ecstasy and

Longing, (New York: HarperCollins Pubilshers), 2003.

Wendell Berry, Sex, Economy, Freedom & Community: Six Essays, (New York: Pantheon

Books), 1992.

Frederick Buechner, The Longing for Home: Recollections and Reflections, (San Francisco:

HarperSanFrancisco), 1996.

Frederick Buechner, Whistling in the Dark: An ABC Theologized, (San Fransisco: Harper &

Row), 1988.

Joan Chittister, The Gift of Years: Growing Older Gracefully, (Bluebridge Books), 2008.

Joan Chittister, Monastery of the Heart: Invitation to a Meaningful Life, (Bluebridge Books),

2011.

Joan Chittister, The Rule of Benedict: A Spirituality for the 21st Century, (New York: The

Crossroad Publishing Company), 1992, 2010.

Joan Chittister, Wisdom Distilled From the Daily: Living the Rule of St. Benedict Today, (New

York: HarperCollins Publishers), 1990.

Annie Dillard, Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, (New York: Harper’s Magazine Press), 1974.

Philip Dunn, Manuela Dunn Mascetti, and R. A. Nicholson, eds., The Illustrated Rumi: A

Treasury of Wisdom from the Poet of the Soul, (New York: HarperCollins Publishers),

2000.

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John S. Dunne, The Homing Spirit: A Pilgrimage of the Mind, of the Heart, of the Soul, (Notre

Dame: University of Notre Dame Press), 1987.

J. Dean Gevik, Finding Meaning in the Later Years: Nursing Home Residents Make Connections

for Purposeful Living, (Kearney: Morris Publishing), 1999.

Valerie Gonzalez, Beauty and Islam: Aesthetics in Islamic Art and Architecture, (London: the

Institute of Ismaili Studies), 2001

Thich Nhat Hanh, The Miracle of Mindfulness: An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation,

(Boston: Beacon Press), 1975.

Stanley Hauerwas, Jean Vanier, Living Gently in a Violent World: The Prophetic Witness of

Weakness, (Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press), 2008.

James Hillman, The Force of Character and the Lasting Life, (New York: Random House),

1999.

Sam M. Intrator and Megan Scribner, eds., Leading from Within: Poetry That Sustains the

Courage to Lead, (San Fransisco: Jossey-Bass), 2007.

Sam M. Intrator and Megan Scribner, eds., Teaching With Fire: Poetry That Sustains the

Courage to Teach, (San Fransisco: Jossey-Bass), 2003.

Harold G. Koenig, Aging and God, (Binghampton: The Haworth Pastoral Press), 1994.

Richard Louv, The Nature Principle: Reconnecting with Life in a Virtual Age, (Chapel Hill:

Algonquin Books of Chapel Hill), 2011.

Donald K. McKim, ed., God Never Forgets: Faith, Hope, and Alzheimer’s Disease, (Louisville:

Westminster John Knox Press), 1997.

Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation, (New York: New Directions Books), 1961.

James E. Miller, Effective Support Groups: How to Plan, Design, Facilitate, and Enjoy Them,

(Fort Wayne: Willowgreen Publishing), 1998.

James E. Miller with Susan C. Cutshall, The ART of BEING a HEALING PRESENCE: A Guide

for Those in Caring Relationships, (Fort Wayne: Willowgreen Publishing), 2001.

James E. Miller, Welcoming Change: Discovering Hope in Life’s Transitions, (Mpls.: Augsburg

Fortress, 1997.

Mary C. Morrison, Let Evening Come: Reflections on Aging, (New York: Doubleday), 1998.

Laurine Morrison Meyer, Sacred Home: Creating Shelter for Your Soul, (St. Paul: Llewellyn

Publications), 2004.

Nancy Murphy and George F. R. Ellis, On the Moral Nature of the Universe: Theology,

Cosmology, and Ethics, (Minneapolis: Fortress Press), 1996.

Henri J. M. Nouwen, Adam, God’s Beloved, (Maryknoll: Orbis Books), 1997.

Henri J. M. Nouwen, Aging: The Fulfillment of Life, (New York: Doubleday), 1996.

Henri J. M. Nouwen, Care and the Elderly, Speech given at The Ministers and Missionaries

Benefit Board of the American Baptist Churches luncheon, June 25, 1975.

Henri J. M. Nouwen, Creative Ministry, (New York: Doubleday), 1978.

Henri J. M. Nouwen, Home Tonight: Further Reflections on the Parable of the Prodigal Son,

(New York: Doubleday), 2009.

Henri J. M. Nouwen, Our Greatest Gift: A Meditation on Dying and Caring, (New York:

HarperCollins Publishers), 1994.

Henri J. M. Nouwen, Out of Solitude: Three Meditations on the Christian Life, (Notre Dame:

Ave Maria Press), 1974.

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Henri J. M. Nouwen, Reaching Out: The Three Movements of the Spiritual Life, (New York:

Doubleday), 1975.

Henri J. M. Nouwen, The Return of the Prodigal Son: A Story of Homecoming, (New York:

Doubleday), 1992.

Henri J. M. Nouwen, The Road to Daybreak; A Spiritual Journey, (New York: Doubleday),

1988.

Henri J. M. Nouwen, The Wounded Healer, (New York: Doubleday), 1972.

John O’Donohue, Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom, (New York: Harper Perennial), 1997.

John O’Donohue, Beauty: The Invisible Embrace, (New York: HarperCollins Publishers), 2004.

John O’Donohue, To Bless the Space Between Us: A Book of Blessings, (New York: Doubleday),

2008.

Parker J. Palmer, A Hidden Wholeness: The Journey Toward An Undivided Life – Welcoming the

Soul and Weaving Community in a Wounded World, (San Fransisco: Jossey-Bass), 2004.

Parker J. Palmer, The Promise of Paradox: A Celebration of Contradictions in the Christian Life,

(Ave Maria Press), 1980.

M. Scott Peck, M.D., The Different Drum: Community Making and Peace, (New York:

Touchstone), 1987.

Eugene H. Peterson, Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places: A Conversation in Spiritual

Theology, (Grand Rapids: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co.), 2005.

Eugene H. Peterson, Five Smooth Stones for Pastoral Work, (Grand Rapids: Wm. B. Eerdmans

Publishing Co.), 1980.

Eugene H. Peterson, Subversive Spirituality, (Grand Rapids: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co.),

1994, 1997.

Eugene H. Peterson and Marva J. Dawn, The Unnecessary Pastor: Rediscovering the Call,

(Grand Rapids: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co.), 2000.

Eugene H. Peterson, Where Your Treasure Is: Psalms That Summon You from Self to

Community, (Grand Rapids: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co.) 1985.

Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D., My Grandfather’s Blessings: Stories of Strength, Refuge, and

Belonging, (New York: Riverhead Books), 2000.

Thomas E. Reynolds, Vulnerable Communion: A Theology of Disability and Hospitality, (Grand

Rapids: Brazos Press), 2008.

Rainer Maria Rilke, trans. by Anita Barrows and Joanna Macy, Rilke’s Book of Hours: Love

Poems to God, (New York: Riverhead Books), 1996, 2005.

Leroy S. Rouner, ed., The Longing for Home, (Notre Dame: University of Notre Dame Press),

1996.

Jonathan Sacks, The Dignity of Difference: How to Avoid the Clash of Civilizations, (New York:

Continuum), 2002.

Steve Shields, LaVrene Norton, In Pursuit of the Sunbeam: A Practical Guide to Transformation

from Institution to Household, (KS: Manhattan Retirement Foundation), 2006.

Steve Shields, LaVrene Norton, The Dawn of Transformation: A Matrix Guide to Change,

(ActionPact, Inc.), 2005.

Kenwyn K. Smith, Yearning for Home in Troubled Times, (Cleveland: The Pilgrim Press), 2003.

John Swinton, PhD., ed. Critical Reflections on Stanley Hauerwas’ Theology of Disability,

(Binghamton: The Haworth Pastoral Press), 2004.

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William H. Thomas, M.D., What are Old People For? How Elders Will Save the World, (Acton:

VanderWyk & Burnham), 2004.

Henry David Thoreau, Collected Essays and Poems, (New York: The Library of America), 2001.

Charles Tindell, Seeing Beyond the Wrinkles: Stories of Ageless Courage, Humor, and Faith,

(Northridge: Studio 4 Productions), 1998.

Eckhart Tolle, The Power of NOW: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment, (Novato: New World

Library), 1999.

Daniel J. Treier, Mark Husbands, Roger Lundin, eds., The Beauty of God: Theology and the Arts,

(Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press), 2007.

Jean Vanier, Becoming Human, (New York: Paulist Press), 1998.

Jean Vanier, Community and Growth: Revised Edition, (New York: Paulist Press), 1989.

Jean Vanier, Essential Writings: Selected with an Introduction by Carolyn Whitney-Brown, (New

York: Orbis Books), 2008.

Jean Vanier, From Brokenness to Community, (New York: Paulist Press), 1992.

Martin Lloyd Williams, Beauty and Brokenness: Compassion and the Kingdom of God,

(London: Society for Promotion of Christian Knowledge), 2007.

Some Web Resources for Spiritual Journeys of Home and Community

ActionPact http://www.actionpact.com

California Lutheran Homes Center for Spirituality and Aging

http://www.spiritualityandaging.org/

Center for Courage and Renewal http://couragerenewal.org

Eden Alternative http://edenalt.org

FRONTLINE: “Faith, Spirituality & Aging” – An Interview with Rev. Jennifer L. Brower

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/livingold/etc/faith.html

Institute for Jewish Spirituality: Wise Aging

http://www.jewishspirituality.org/our-programs/resources-for-your-community/wise-aging/

Krista Tippett on Being http://www.being.publicradio.org

L’Arche http://www.larcheusa.org

The National Institute for Play http://www.nifplay.org

Pioneer Network http://www.pioneernetwork.net

Sage-ing International: Wisdom and Spirit in Action http://sage-ing.org/

Senior Planet: Aging with Attitude http://seniorplanet.org/

Spirituality and Practice http://www.spiritualityandpractice.com

http://www.actionpact.com/

http://www.spiritualityandaging.org/

http://couragerenewal.org/

http://edenalt.org/

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/livingold/etc/faith.html

http://www.jewishspirituality.org/our-programs/resources-for-your-community/wise-aging/

http://www.being.publicradio.org/

http://www.larcheusa.org/

http://www.nifplay.org/

http://www.pioneernetwork.net/

http://sage-ing.org/

http://seniorplanet.org/

http://www.spiritualityandpractice.com/

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Top 25 Vital Spiritual Facets of “HOME”

24. ...Journey or Pilgrimage fueled by a universal longing.

“Classically, the understanding of life, the unfolding of identity and creativity, the notion of growth and

discovery were articulated through the metaphor of the journey… Each human life is the journey from

childhood to a realized adult life. Each day is a journey out of darkness into light. Each friendship and love

is the intimate journey where the soul is born and grows…The journey is the drama of the heart’s voyage

into the tide of possibilities which open before it.” (O’Donohue, Beauty, 25)

NPR “On Being” podcast – “The Ecstatic Faith of Rumi” segment 17:34-22:37

23. …Paradox/Contradiction/Perplexity/Not Knowing

“… we need to become comfortable with paradox – paradox, the collision of irreconcilable opposites

that sparks light into a truth beyond either one. Paradox may have touched us only lightly, from time to

time, in years past; now in old age it rules our lives. Failure is success. Loss is gain. Defeat is victory.

Every loss contains a gift. Losing one’s life is finding it. Find yourself. Lose yourself. In my end is my

beginning. In my beginning is my end. Many of the great life truths come stated in paradox, and we have

heard them often. Now in old age we begin to experience them.” “…we must learn to live with continuing

questions to which there seem to be no immediate answers. This was always the case, but in the speed and

busyness of younger life we hardly noticed it. What has life been, in all it stages? What is it now? What

will death be? Who and what are we? Now these questions rise up before us. At no time in our life process

is Rilke’s instruction more relevant than it is now – to love the questions and live along into the answers.

And those questions all come down to one personal, intimate one: how are we going to respond to the

inevitable and growing diminishment that is coming upon us?…So, let us love that question, and begin.

One step at a time.” (Morrison, Let Evening Come, 10-12)

“The very contradictions in my life are in some ways signs of God's mercy to me.” Thomas Merton

22. …Wildness

“…in Wildness is the preservation of the world.” (Thoreau, Collected Essays and Poems, “Walking,” p. 239)

“When despair for the world grows in me and I wake in the night at the least sound in fear of what my life

and my children's lives may be, I go and lie down where the wood drake rests in his beauty on the water,

and the great heron feeds. I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of

grief. I come into the presence of still water. And I feel above me the day-blind stars waiting with their light.

For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.”

― Wendell Berry, Sex, Economy, Freedom, and Community: Eight Essays

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21. …Solitude “It is in deep solitude that I find the gentleness with which I can truly love my

brothers. The more solitary I am the more affection I have for them…. Solitude and silence teach me to love

my brothers for what they are, not for what they say.” Thomas Merton

20. ...Belonging in a Community

from M. Scott Peck, The Different Drum

“In and through community lies the salvation of the world.” (p. 17)

“It is true that we are called to wholeness. But the reality is that we can never be completely whole in

and of ourselves. We cannot be all things to ourselves and others. We cannot be perfect. We cannot be

doctors, lawyers, stockbrokers, farmers, politicians, stonemasons, and theologians, all rolled into one. It is

true we are called to power. Yet the reality is that there is a point beyond which our sense of self-

determination not only becomes inaccurate and prideful but increasingly self-defeating. It is true that we are

created to be individually unique. Yet the reality is that we are inevitably social creatures who desperately

need each other not merely for sustenance, not merely for company, but for any meaning to our lives

whatsoever. These, then, are the paradoxical seeds from which community can grow.” (pp. 54-55)

19. ...Body

“The body is a sacrament. The old, traditional definition of sacrament captures this beautifully. A

sacrament is a visible sign of invisible grace. In that definition there is a fine acknowledgment of how the

unseen world comes to expression in the visible world. This desire for expression lies deep at the heart of

the invisible world. All our inner life and intimacy of soul longs to find an outer mirror. It longs for a form

in which it can be seen, felt, and touched. The body is the mirror where the secret world of the soul comes

to expression. The body is a sacred threshold; and it deserves to be respected, minded, and understood in its

spiritual nature. This sense of the body is wonderfully expressed in an amazing phrase from the Catholic

tradition: The body is the temple of the Holy Spirit.” (O’Donohue, Anam Cara, p. 47-8)

“The body is your only home in the universe. It is your house of belonging here in the world.” (O’Donohue,

Anam Cara, 48)

18. ...Wholeness found in Suffering/Brokenness/Weakness/Disability

At L’Arche Daybreak in Toronto, through embracing Adam’s brokenness, Henri Nouwen came to be

able to embrace his own brokenness, and to become more human, and to find himself finally at “home.” (as

described in Nouwen’s Adam: God’s Beloved.)

17. ...the power of Gentleness/Tenderness

NPR, Speaking of Faith, “The Wisdom of Tenderness” with Jean Vanier, Podcast, segment 14:17-18:17

“Everywhere there is tenderness, care and kindness, there is beauty.” (O’Donohue, Beauty, 12)

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16. ...experiencing Beauty

“The human soul is hungry for beauty; we seek it everywhere – in landscape, music, art, clothes, furniture,

gardening, companionship, loved, religion and in ourselves. No-one would desire not to be beautiful.

When we experience the Beautiful, there is a sense of homecoming.”

(John O’Donohue, Beauty, 2)

“Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.” Rumi

“In Greek the word for ‘the beautiful’ is to kalon. It is related to the word kalein which includes the notion

of ‘call’. When we experience beauty we feel called. The Beautiful stirs passion and urgency in us and

calls us forth from aloneness into the warmth and wonder of an eternal embrace. It unites us again with the

neglected and forgotten grandeur of life. The call of beauty is not a cold call into the dark or the unknown;

in some instinctive way we know that beauty is no stranger….” John O”Donohue, Beauty, 13

SOF Podcast, “The Inner Landscape of Beauty,” September 17, 2009. Podcast segment 23:40-27:15

15. …having Time

"Life is now. There was never a time when your life was not now, nor will there ever be" …"Nothing ever

happened in the past; it happened in the Now. Nothing will ever happen in the future; it will happen in the

Now" (Tolle, The Power of Now, p. 41)

14. …Radical Hospitality / Welcoming the Stranger

From NPR On Being, “The Dignity of Difference,” Chief Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, Podcast 5:45-7:21

Krista Tippett asks – “…What resources and vocabulary [do Jewish experience and Jewish tradition] bring

to modern life in relation to [the challenge of] ‘difference?’

JS – “…It seems to me that one of the things we most fear is the stranger. And at most times in human

history, most people have lived among people who were mostly pretty much the same as themselves.

Today, certainly in Europe, and perhaps even in America, walk down the average Main Street, and you will

encounter in 10 minutes, more anthropological diversity than an 18th

Century traveler would have

encountered in a lifetime. So you really have this huge problem of diversity. And you then go back and

read the Bible, and something hits you, which is, we’re very familiar with the two great commands of love

– love God with all your heart, all your soul and all your might, love your neighbor as yourself. But the one

command reiterated more than any other in the Mosaic books, 36 times said the Rabbis, is ‘love the

stranger, for you were once strangers in the land of Egypt.’ Or, to put it in a contemporary way, ‘love the

stranger because, to him, you’re a stranger.’ And this sense that, we are enlarged by the people who are

different from us…we are not threatened by them…that needs cultivating, can be cultivated, and would lead

us to see the 21st Century as full of blessing, not full of fear.”

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13. …Surprise!!

Krista Tippet, NPR On Being, “The Spiritual Audacity of Abraham Joshua Heschel,” Podcast 2:34-3:15

AJH - “I would say about individuals, an individual dies when he ceases to be surprised. I am surprised

every morning that I see the sun shine again. When I see an act of evil I’m not accommodated – I don’t

accommodate myself to the violence that goes on everywhere. I’m still surprised. That’s why I’m against

it, why I can fight against it. We must learn how to be surprised. Not to adjust ourselves. I am the most

maladjusted person in society.”

12. ...Play

Dr. Stuart Brown - The National Institute for Play nifplay.org NPR Speaking of Faith Podcast – “Play, Spirit, and Character” July 24, 2008

“Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” Victor Borge

“Spontaneity” of the Eden Alternative philosophy – one of the “antidotes” to the “plagues” of loneliness,

helplessness, and boredom – Bill Thomas

“To play is one of the most precious ways of being together and creating human fellowship. To play is the

affirmation of the goodness of the here and now and the celebration of the moment. We play not because

we want to accomplish something, but simply because we are alive…life is a playful dance in the presence

of God.” (Nouwen, Care and the Elderly)

11. …Meaning and Purpose

Koenig – “A Need for Meaning, Purpose, and Hope” - #1 from his list of Fourteen Spiritual Needs of

Physically Ill Elders in Aging and God

Victor Frankl…importance of meaning

Bill Thomas – “True care is helping another to grow.”

10. …Remembering

“A Room Called Remember” by Buechner

“Everybody needs his memories. They keep the wolf of insignificance from the door.” -Saul Bellow

My elder friend Annie came to my office door: “I don’t know where I am. I’m lost. I don’t know why

I’m here.” We sat. I reminded her of who she is. She remembered, became happy, at peace, and grateful.

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9. …Someone’s Waiting for Me

“A man can keep his sanity and stay alive as long as there is at least one person who is waiting for him. The

mind of man can indeed rule his body even when there is little health left. A dying mother can stay alive to

see her son before she gives up the struggle, a soldier can prevent his mental and physical disintegration

when he knows that his wife and children are waiting for him. But when ‘nothing and nobody’ is waiting,

there is no chance to survive in the struggle for life.” unknown author

8. …Love/Compassion

“... Love is absolutely vital for a human life. For love alone can awaken what is divine within you. In love,

you grow and come home to your self. When you learn to love and to let your self be loved, you come

home to the hearth of your own spirit. You are warm and sheltered. You are completely at one in the house

of your own longing and belonging. In that growth and homecoming is the unlooked-for bonus in the act of

loving another. Love begins with paying attention to others, with an act of gracious self-forgetting. This is

the condition in which we grow.” (O’Donohue, Anam Cara, p. 7)

“…and the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:13b)

7. …Family

- the #1 response of staff and residents at Cerenity Senior Care of White Bear Lake when asked to

list their top 5 most-valued elements of “Home”

- The heart of our relationships in this life

6. …Friendship/Anam Cara

“In everyone’s life, there is great need for an anam cara, a soul friend. In this love, you are understood as

you are without mask or pretension. The superficial and functional lies and half-truths of social

acquaintance fall away, you can be as you really are. Love allows understanding to dawn, and

understanding is precious. Where you are understood, you are at home.”

“…The anam cara is God’s gift.” (O’Donohue, Anam Cara, pp. 14-15)

In a Gallup Poll designed to measure and even predict employee satisfaction, the question that is the best

determinate of such is “Do you have a best friend at work?”

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5. …Generosity/Kenosis

5 Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God,

did not regard equality with God as something to be exploited, 7 but emptied himself, taking the form of a

slave, being born in human likeness. And being found in human form, 8 he humbled himself and became

obedient to the point of death— even death on a cross. (Philippians 2:5-8)

“The universal Kenotic Ethic” – There is a “kenotic ethic” embedded within the fabric of the universe, just

as there is gravity. It has been stated: “Self-renunciation for the sake of the other is humankind’s highest

good.” (Murphy and Ellis, On the Moral Nature.., p.118)

4. …Elderhood

Nouwen writes that the ideally-maturing spiritual journey leads a person to becoming the

unconditionally loving, forgiving, generous parent in the Biblical parable as pictured in Rembrandt’s

portrait. (Nouwen, Return of the Prodigal Son)

“elderhood noun The state of being and living as an elder. It is founded on the developmental

potential that is latent in late life, and is as distinct from adulthood as adulthood is from childhood.”

(Thomas, What Are Old People For?, p. 226.)

3. …Seeing/Being Seen

“…there is another kind of seeing that involves a letting go. When I see this way I sway transfixed

and emptied. The difference between the two ways of seeing is the difference between walking with and

without a camera. When I walk with a camera, I walk from shot to shot, reading the light on a calibrated

meter. When I walk without a camera, my own shutter opens, and the moment’s light prints on my own

silver gut. When I see this second way I am above all an unscrupulous observer...

When I see this way I see truly. As Thoreau says, I return to my senses...one day I was walking along

Tinker Creek thinking of nothing at all and I saw the tree with the lights in it. I saw the backyard cedar

where the mourning doves roost charged and transfigured, each cell buzzing with flame. I stood on the

grass with the lights in it, grass that was wholly fire, utterly focused and utterly dreamed. It was less like

seeing than like being for the first time seen, knocked breathless by a powerful glance…

I had been my whole life a bell, and never knew it until at that moment I was lifted and struck.” (Dillard,

Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, pp.33-35)

“Peek-a-boo. I see you!”

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2. ...My Self / My Human Being

Quotes from Thomas Merton… In the last analysis, the individual person is responsible for living his own

life and for "finding himself." If he persists in shifting his responsibility to somebody else, he fails to find

out the meaning of his own existence.

“We are so obsessed with doing that we have no time and no imagination left for being. As a result, men are

valued not for what they are but for what they do or what they have - for their usefulness.”

“What can we gain by sailing to the moon if we are not able to cross the abyss that separates us from

ourselves? This is the most important of all voyages of discovery, and without it, all the rest are not only

useless, but disastrous...”

- There is in us an instinct for newness, for renewal, for a liberation of creative power. We seek to awaken in

ourselves a force that really changes our lives from within. And yet the same instinct tells us that this change

is a recovery of that which is deepest, most original, most personal in ourselves. To be born again is not to

become somebody else, but to become ourselves.

1. …the end of my days - Dying/Death

“Lord, show me the end of my days, that I might gain a heart of wisdom.” Psalm 90:12

Henri J. M. Nouwen, Our Greatest Gift: A Meditation on Dying and Caring, (New York: HarperCollins

Publishers), 1994.

0. …God/Blessing

“ ‘In the beginning…the earth was without form and void, and darkness was upon the face of the

deep’ (Genesis 1:1-2). In other words, God started with nothing, zero, and out of it brought everything. In

the end, says John, ‘I saw a great white throne and him who sat upon it; from his presence earth and sky fled

away, and no place was found for them’ (Revelation 20:11). In other words, there is zero again, and out of

it God brought a new heaven and a new earth. Perhaps more than for anything else, God is famous for

calling something precious out of something that doesn’t even exist until he calls it. At the beginning of

each one of us it happened, and at the end of each one of us maybe by God’s grace it will happen again.”

Buechner, Whistling in the Dark, pp. 115-116

O’Donohue observes … the root of “home” in many languages is related to the word for GOD.

"You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you." Saint Augustine

Home is a blessing from God, from God to us, from us to others. God … is… Home.

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APPLICATION - Personal and Professional Integration

Some suggestions for applying “Celebrating HOME Together” personally

1. Start with a reflection on the important elders in your life – in the past, and presently. Ask yourself, “Why is this person influential? What is it about her/him that inspires me? What have I learned? Seek to grow into your own Elderhood, in part by seeking to know your elders. 2. With inspiration from elders, ask yourself “What am I afraid of?” and be encouraged to grow beyond your fears. 3. Pray for wisdom and guidance in spiritual growth. 4. Reflect on the “Vital Spiritual Facets of ‘HOME’” and in some way(s) record your reflections (journaling, creative writing, art, music, etc.) 5. Read some of the Bibliography books and articles. 6. Share the journey with others. 7. Give thanks for your growing Elderhood, and creation & discovery of “Home” and “Community.”

Some suggestions for applying “Celebrating HOME Together” professionally

1. Do everything listed in that last category. 2. Reflect on the relevancy of this topic within your organization’s Values, Mission, and Vision statements. 3. Initiate and/or support a regular time of spiritual reflection for management and staff 4. Initiate an Elders Support Group in your LTC facility. 5. Create opportunities for elders to engage in life review, making peace, and the creation of Legacies (DVDs, etc.). 6. Build community - Nurture relationships with isolated elders and create opportunities for community. 7. Build community - Support the community life within the nursing home or assisted living residence near you. 8. Be creative. 9. Read good books and articles. Write some too. Teach what you learn. 10. Share the journey with other co-workers/colleagues. 11. Give thanks for the elders in your life and for the privilege of assisting them in your mutual creation and discovery of “Home” and “Community.”

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Cerenity Connections Article April 23, 2010

“The Spirituality of Culture Change: Living With, Loving, and Loving With”

Rev. Scott Cartwright, Director of Spiritual Care, Cerenity WBL

The world of caring for and with seniors has been buzzing for a number of years with the

phrase “culture change.” I first heard it in the context of the Eden Alternative philosophy which

seeks to change nursing homes from institutions that define care as medical treatment, to

homelike environments that define and nurture true care as helping one another grow. In

unique ways, each of our Cerenity facilities has been pursuing this type of “culture change” for

many years. And a lot has been accomplished!

No matter the specifics, at its heart, “culture change” is a spiritual matter. That is, it’s

grounded in God’s care for us and our mission to care for and with those around us. The

cultures of care within our Cerenity facilities are already very good, and can also be improved

upon. Perhaps identifying some of the spiritual aspects of “culture change” will assist us in

opening up an even better future.

I recently heard a speaker say that the most ancient root of the word for God is “home.”

Interesting. In a spiritual sense, perhaps our deepest identity, longings, and belongings as

humans have to do with home. So, for our elders, and for all of us, changing the culture for the

better means not settling for simply “homelike,” but aiming for the ultimate good – home itself.

What makes for home.

A number of years ago, Jean Vanier founded L’Arche in order to serve the needs of

cognitively disabled individuals. This was done by creating small social communities within

which disabled individuals (“core members”) were paired up 1:1 with non-disabled individuals

(“assistants”), to mutually care for one another, to live with each other 24/7, to share and

celebrate life together. Sensing a deep rootlessness and restlessness in his life, Father Henri

Nouwen, a renowned professor, writer, and pastor left Harvard in the late 1980’s and moved to

a L’Arche community in Toronto called Daybreak.

There he was paired up with a profoundly multiply handicapped young man named

Adam, to take care of him. At first it was very difficult. Adam was completely dependent.

Father Nouwen was awkward and fumbly and nervous about making mistakes. But the other,

more seasoned assistants continually encouraged him saying, “Keep at it Henri. You’re just

getting to know [Adam]. Pretty soon you’ll be an old hand. Pretty soon you’ll love him.”

In his book, Adam: God’s Beloved, Father Nouwen writes that after awhile, he no longer

felt awkward, fumbly, and nervous. And, after awhile, he realized he no longer felt restless and

rootless. Because after awhile, in caring for & with Adam, in living with Adam and getting to

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know him, Henri discovered that he had grown to love Adam, and the others in this community

of mutual care. Henri finally was home.

If positive culture change equates with home, what makes for home? One way to

answer that question is this:

Home consists of: 1) living with, 2) loving, and 3) loving with.

Consider these questions regarding future “culture change” for Cerenity: Am I at home here? If not, am I willing to somehow make a home for myself here? How can I help to make this the best home possible for those who live and work here? In what sense do I live with those who live and work here? Am I willing to live with them even more fully? Have I grown to love those who live and work here? If not, am I willing to risk growing to love those who live and work here? How can I help to nurture an atmosphere of loving with? That is, how can I nurture an atmosphere of mutual care, of helping each person to reach out to others in love? In answering such questions, we are on holy ground, pursuing spiritually grounded “culture change.” May God continue to bless you and your Cerenity community of care, through the wonderful opportunities for culture change ahead!

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Cerenity Connections article 11-4-10

“Rudd and Hassan”

Rev. Scott Cartwright, Director of Spiritual Care, Cerenity WBL

Back in April I wrote a Connections article entitled “The Spirituality of Culture Change:

Living With, Loving, and Loving With.” In it I shared some stories and asked some questions

that revolved around how personally invested we are in creating home for the Elders, their

families, and for all of us Cerenity employees. Bottom line, the spirituality of Culture Change

has to do with mutual respect, care, and love. I’d like to share with you an experience from

about a month ago, one instance of many when I’ve witnessed first-hand that type of respect,

care, and love.

I came to work on that Monday morning and in our managerial “stand-up” meeting I

learned that one of our residents was dying, an elder named Rudd. As I walked to my office to

prepare for the visit, my friend Hassan, a Cerenity WBL TMA, asked if I’d be going upstairs to

see Rudd. When I said yes, he said he’d already been up there but would like to go again, with

me.

A few minutes later we walked together to Rudd’s room, and were greeted by his family

in the hallway. I shook hands, reacquainting myself with some family and meeting others for

the first time. Hassan also received warm greetings, handshakes and hugs. It was obvious

Rudd’s family knew Hassan well.

We entered the room and greeted Rudd as he lay in his bed. With his permission I

shared a prayer, for him and for his family. As we left a few minutes later they all expressed

appreciation for the prayer and visit.

Hassan and I went back downstairs, and as I turned to go to my office, he continued

speaking, so I stopped to listen. He said to me, “I can’t explain it. Rudd and I are like this.” He

held up his hand, crossing his index and middle finger in a gesture of togetherness. “I can’t

explain it,” Hassan continued, “When I’m not working on Rudd’s neighborhood, but then we

see each other, he tells me, ‘I’m glad to see you Hassan. I wish you were with me today.’ I feel

the same about him. Rudd brings me joy. I bring him joy.”

Hassan, my 20-something Uganda-American friend and co-worker, was speaking of

Rudd, a 90 year-old Dutch-American. The two had met and grown close here at the Care

Center since Rudd’s admission approximately two years ago. During the brief visit with Rudd’s

family after our morning prayer, his daughter shared that since his admission her father often

spoke of wanting to leave the Care Center, and go home with his family, or go somewhere else

to live. But each time, when his daughter offered to look into other possibilities, Rudd always

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retracted his request, saying, “But I would miss Hassan, and Sharon, and …” and he would go

on, listing all of the Care Center caregivers he had grown close to and didn’t want to move away

from.

Still speaking to me in the hallway, Hassan continued, “I can’t explain it. He has such

trust for me. And I trust him. When I come to him, he brightens up. And he relaxes. We enjoy

each other. He’s told me all about his life. He’s an amazing man. I’m going to miss him. I can’t

explain it. Rudd never had a son, and sometimes I think maybe I’m his son. I think maybe I’m

his son. I love him.”

Though Rudd didn’t really want to be in a Care Center, he discovered that he was at

home here – through the constant love and support of his family, and through Hassan and

others like him, Cerenity employees who personally invested their lives and their love in him

and in the other elders who come to live here.

The spiritual heart of culture change is that kind of respect, love, and care. True culture

change decreases the institutional barriers that get in the way. God bless you and your

Cerenity Sr. Care communities as you invest yourselves in the work of creating “home” for the

Elders, their families, and for all of us Cerenity employees.

handout of the presentation · p a g e | 3 whca/wical 55th annual spring conference 2017...

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