home stay handbook

8/3/2019 Home Stay Handbook

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A Student Homestay Handbook

UNIVERSITY LANGUAGE INSTITUTE2448 E. 81st Street, Suite 1400

Tulsa, OK 74137, USA


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Table of ContentsTable of ContentsTable of ContentsTable of Contents

Your Homestay Family ....................................................3Names ..............................................................................3Communication ...............................................................3The American Lifestyle .................................................. 4Rules ............................................................................... 4Your Bedroom ................................................................ 4Laundry ............................................................................5Meals ...............................................................................5Bathroom ........................................................................ 6Living Room .................................................................... 7

Television and Stereo ..................................................... 7Telephone ........................................................................ 7Computer ........................................................................ 8Internet ........................................................................... 8Friends ............................................................................ 8Transportation ............................................................... 8Money ............................................................................. 9Payment .......................................................................... 9Vacations ........................................................................ 9Culture Shock ................................................................. 9

What to do if Theres a Problem .................................... 11Moving Out ..................................................................... 11Words to Know ............................................................... 11

Although University Language Institute facilitates the contact between students and housing providers, any housing agreement orrelated services shall be between the student and the housing provider and not between either party and University Language Institute. UniversityLanguage Institute is not liable to either party in regards to the obligations of any housing agreement or related services.


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Your Homestay FamilyYour Homestay FamilyYour Homestay FamilyYour Homestay FamilyWelcome to University Language Institutes homestay

program. Unless otherwise stated, your homestay includes aroom, 3 meals a day, and transportation to and from school. Wehope that you enjoy your experience with your homestay family.

We hope that you use this special opportunity to practice andimprove your English more.

Homestay families in the USA come in all shapes andsizes. You might live with a couple, a family with children, asingle parent with children, a single lady, a single man, or even ina house of adult roommates. Some may have light skin and somemay have dark skin. Some might be young and some might be

older. Some might have religious beliefs different than yours. Remember, the USA is a meltingpot of different cultures. Some of our families live close to the school and some live many milesfrom the school. Each family we have is very different.

Your homestay family will be different from your family athome. This does not mean one is better than another, justdifferent. Things may be done very differently than in your homecountry. While you are living with your new family, you shouldlearn to do things like they are done in the USA.

Your family will provide support during your stay in the USA.They will be available for help with homework, light shoppingneeds, advice on cultural differences, friendship, and conversation.You have the opportunity to develop a lifetime relationship.

NamesNamesNamesNamesAsk your homestay family what names they want to be called. Many

times, adults in the USA want you to call them by their first names because itfeels more comfortable to them. Other adults might want to be called by atitle like professor, doctor, mister, or misses.

CommunicationCommunicationCommunicationCommunicationMost Americans prefer direct, face-to-face communication. If you

have a question, no matter how unusual, it is best to ask your homestayfamily. Do not be embarrassed.

If your homestay family asks you a direct question, this is not tobe taken as an insult. This should be a learning opportunity for both ofyou. If something is offensive to you, you should gently tell yourhomestay family.

Talk with EACH member of the family EVERY DAY.Spend time communication with your family. Stay at the dinner

table after dinner to have conversations with them. They want to know about you, your country,your family, your dreams, and your life. This is one of the best ways to improve your English skillsand build a lasting relationship.


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Ask questions, watch, listen, and learn to understand and do things in new ways.Communication and patience are important.

The American LifestyleThe American LifestyleThe American LifestyleThe American LifestylePlease remember that most Americans do not have servants.

Most families work and go to school between the hours of 8 a.m.

and 6 p.m. This means that you may have to come to school early orstay at school late. This is normal. When your homestay family finallygets home, they will still have to clean, to cook, to take care ofchildren, and to do many other things. Usually, everyone in the familyhelps with these things. Since you will be a part of the family, theywill expect you to do your part. Please be considerate of yourhomestay familys time and do not expect them to be your servants.Servants are expensive in the USA. If youwant someone to do things for you, youcan hire our own maid for $20 an hour.

Your homestay family is also not obligated to entertain you. Ifyou are bored, please find ways to entertain yourself. Not every familywill have all the entertainment options that you are accustomed to. Anyentertainment not already available to you should be purchased byyourself. Please see the transportation section of this handbook abouthow to find a bus to take you around the city if you want to dosomething outside your home and dont have a car.

RulesRulesRulesRulesMost families have rules. If the family has children, you may have to

follow the same rules that the children have. It would not be fair for you to beable to do something that they are not allowed to do.Most families also have a curfew. If you have to be out later, please

talk to or call your homestay before curfew time and let them know why andwhat time you will be home. This should nothappen very often.

Many families will not like it if you smoke ordrink in their home. If you do smoke, you should

smoke outside far from the house. If there are young children living inthe home, please do not let them see you smoke. Never ever smokeinside. You also need to know that Tulsa has a law that does not allow

smoking inside most public buildings.

Your BedroomYour BedroomYour BedroomYour BedroomYou should have your own room unless you have agreed

to share a room with another student. You should have a bed,


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storage area for your clothes, and a table or desk for studying. Please ask your homestay beforeyou decorate.

Please do not stay in your room all the time with the door shut. If you do this, yourhomestay family will think that you dont like them.

It is your responsibility to keep your room clean. This means vacuuming, changing yourbed linens, dusting, etc. This should be done at least every two weeks or as often as requested by

your homestay family.Please do not stay in your bedroom all the time with the door closed. This communicates

to the homestay family that you do not like them. Please try to spend time together with thefamily when you have the opportunity.

LaundryLaundryLaundryLaundryYou will have your own laundry basket and will do your

own laundry. If you do not know how, please ask your homestay familyto teach you. You can use your homestay familys laundry detergent andfabric softener. If there are already clothes in the

washing machine or dryer, please remove them and placethem in an empty laundry basket. You have clean sheets on your

bed and are welcome to wash them or change them once a week.

MealsMealsMealsMealsSince you are living with an American homestay family, you can expect to be eating

American food. If you dont want to eat American food, you might want to look for an apartment.Most American families are busy and expect their homestay students to learn how to be

more independent with their food. Please ask which foods are for snacking and which are formeals.

Breakfast -- While some homestay families will prepare and eat breakfast together, mostfamilies will show you what is available for breakfast and expect you to make it for yourself.Lunch -- You will probably also be expected to make lunch for yourself. In some cases, the

family may expect you to take leftovers from the eveningmeal for lunch the next day. This is normal. If you do not knowwhat you can take for lunch, please ask your homestay family.

Supper -- Some homestay families prepare an eveningmeal that everyone eats together. Your homestay family mayask you to help with the meal by chopping vegetables orsomething like that. You should always offer to help and helpto clean up afterwards.

Because families often have a busy schedule, mealsmay not be served at the same time every night. If you gethungry and eat alone or with friends before your family

prepares supper for you, please let your family know so that they dont prepare more food foryou. If you will not be coming home for a meal, please let your family know so that they do notwait for you.


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Customs and manners -- Some families say a prayerbefore they eat. If this is your homestay familys custom, waituntil after the prayer to start eating.

In the USA, you should eat your food without slurping ormaking noise. Soup served in a bowl with a

spoon should be eaten quietly with a spoon. You should

chew with your mouth closed. Burping is considered to be impolite.Some families will discuss their day after or during the meal. It is polite to enter into this

discussion and afterward to help with clearing the table and loading the dishwasher.Cooking for yourself -- In some homestay families, you might sometimes (or always) be

expected to cook the evening meal for yourself because the family is too busy and all the adults inthe family take care of themselves. If this is your situation, please let the homestay family knowwhat you like to eat so that you can have good food available to cook for yourself.

If you eat alone, you should always put the dishes in the dishwasher or wash them by hand.Do not leave dirty dishes in the sink.

Disliking the food -- If your family provides food that you do not like, it is acceptable to tell

them. You can say, Thank you for the _______, but I really do not like it. You should work withyour homestay family to find foods that you like. Remember that the food will not be like the foodthat you have in your country. Try to adjust to eating American food. You might ask yourhomestay family if you can teach them how to cook one of your countrys foods. But dont beoffended if they do not like them.

If you want types of food that the family does not normally eat, you need to buy thosefoods separately. There is no reduction of the homestay fee if you buy your own food unless youhave a special agreement with your homestay family about this.

If you eat at a restaurant with your homestay family, you should pay for your own meal. Ifyou do not have the money to do this, you can ask to stay at home and make your own meal.

TheTheTheThe BathBathBathBathroomroomroomroomWhen using the bathroom, always close the door. If the

door is already closed, knock to be sure that no one is using it. Ifyou share a bathroom with other family members, please limityour bathroom time to 15 minutes in the morning.

Take a shower or bath every day, use deodorant, andbrush your teeth. You will need to buy your own toothpaste,toothbrush, deodorant, shampoo, and soap. However, yourhomestay family should provide towels for you.

Clean up after yourself every day. Pick up your dirty

clothes and hang up your wet towels to dry. Dont leave wateron the bathroom counters or the floor. If you ruin the counters

and floor with water, you may be asked to replace them. Dont leave the sink dirty with hair ortoothpaste.

It is okay to put toilet paper in the toilet. However, please do not put other items in thetoilet. Men should be careful not to urinate on the toilet or on the floor and should clean anyaccidents. Women should place all female products in the trash (not in the toilet), wrapped intoilet paper. Please always flush the toilet.


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It is part of your responsibility to share the job of keeping the bathroom clean. Jobs thatyour homestay family might request your help with are: cleaning the tub, cleaning the toilet,emptying the trash, and mopping or vacuuming the floor. If you have your own bathroom, it isentirely yourresponsibility to clean it once a week.

The Living RoomThe Living RoomThe Living RoomThe Living Room

The living room is a common room for the whole family.Please be considerate when watching television or listening to musicin this room. Movies or television programs should be appropriate forthe whole family to watch. Please ask your homestay family whattype of movies or television programs are allowed to be watched intheir home.

The Television and StereoThe Television and StereoThe Television and StereoThe Television and StereoYour homestay family may or may not have a

television and stereo for you to use. You need to discuss the

use of the television and stereo with your homestay family.Most families will ask that you not make any loud noisesafter 10:00 p.m. (or whenever their bedtime is). If yourhomestay family allows you to use the television andstereo, please be considerate of your homestay family.

Some families do not like loud music orcertain types of music. Other families may not allow people in their house (including you) to watchcertain types of movies or television programs or play certain types of games. Please ask yourhomestay family about their rules.

The TelephoneThe TelephoneThe TelephoneThe TelephoneIf your family has a home telephone, you may use it.

However, you should limit your phone calls to 20 minutes unless yourhomestay family gives you permission to talk for longer.

You should make your phone calls between 8:00 a.m. and10:00 p.m. Your friends or family should not call you after 10:00 p.m.unless it is an emergency.

You should always make international or long distancephone calls with a calling card. You can buy one at any grocery store orconvenience store.

You may request to have a phone installed in your bedroom. If you want this, youmust pay for the installation of a private phone line. The cost for installation is approximately $50.Monthly service costs about $60. This phone line can be used for phone calls or computer accessto the internet.

Most students purchase a cell phone instead of using the familys phone. This isreally the best choice since you can use your own phone as much as you want to and can talk on itwhenever you want to.


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The ComputerThe ComputerThe ComputerThe ComputerYour homestay family may or may not have a computer.

You may or may not be able to use it. If the family gives you permissionto use it, never change the settings, add or remove programs, changethe language, or change anything about it without first asking your

homestay family. You should buy a package of disks or a USB drive tostore your documents on. Never store your documents on yourhomestay familys computer.

Please follow your homestay familys rules about theamount of time that you can use the familys computer. It is a good idea

to only use the computer for 30 minutes or less unless you have permission to use it longer forhomework.

The InternetThe InternetThe InternetThe InternetIf your family does not internet access, please do not ask them to

buy a computer or pay for the internet for you. If you want to use theinternet, you should ask your familys permission for you to have itinstalled. However, you will need to pay for the installation and serviceand be responsible to stop that service after you leave your homestay.

Please never visit pornographic sites. Please do not downloadmusic or movies illegally.

FriendsFriendsFriendsFriendsYou should always ask permission to have friends

over to the house before you invite them. Friends should not arrive

after 10:00 p.m.Some homestay families have rules about who can

visit you in your home. Most families will not allow you to invite amember of the oppositesex into your bedroom.

If you are planning to go out with friends, it is veryimportant that you communicate your plans to your homestayfamily as soon as possible.

TransportationTransportationTransportationTransportationYour homestay family will provide transportation for you

to and from school. Sometimes this means that a family member or afamily friend will drive you to school. Sometimes this means that thehomestay family will purchase a bus pass for you to use to get to and/orfrom school.

If you have planned to meet your homestay family at acertain time or place, please follow this plan or call your homestayfamily many hours before time to ask to change the plans.


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If you buy your own car, walk to school, or have some other way to get to school,you can ask your homestay family to reduce the amount of moneythat you pay every month. The amount that they reduce your rent willdepend on the distance the family lives from ULI.

It is not your familys responsibility to providetransportation for you to anywhere except school. Some families

might be willing to drive you somewhere sometimes, but they are notyourchauffeur. If you want your own chauffeur, you can rent one for$12 an hour (does not include car).

If you want to take a bus, visit http://www.tulsatransit.org forbus schedules and prices. Other options are to walk, ride a bike,

roller-blade, or ask friends for transportation.

MoneyMoneyMoneyMoneyIf you need to open a bank account, we suggest that you open an

account at Arvest Bank across from the Cityplex or in Wal-Mart. You can

open and account there just by showing them your passport. Please do notput the homestay familys name on the account.

Do not keep large amounts of cash money at home or school. If youdo, please put it in a safe place.

Do not loan money to or borrow money from your homestay family.

PaymentPaymentPaymentPaymentAlways pay your rent on time. You can pay by cash, travelers

checks, or check. You should pay the day that you move in. Your paymentwill be due each month on that date. If your payment is 5 days late, there

will be a $10 late fee. If your payment is 20 or more days late, you will beasked to move. ULI will not find you a new homestay if you are asked tomove because you did not pay.

Homestay fees that have been paid in advance will be refundedafter all bills have been paid for the unused time.

VacationsVacationsVacationsVacationsIf you leave your homestay to go on vacation, the homestay

fee will not be reduced unless you will be gone for more than two weeks.

Culture ShockCulture ShockCulture ShockCulture ShockAll cultures are different. This does not mean one culture is

better than another. Everyone experiences some form of culture shock.If you know what to expect and how to react, you will be okay.

Signs of culture shock:

Eating a lot or losing your appetite


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Sleeping all the time or having trouble sleeping Feeling irritable orcritical of everything

Withdrawing from people

What to do:

Realize that it is culture shock Remind yourself that it is normal Know that it will pass Take good care of your body (eat well, get enough sleep, get fresh

air, and exercise)

Be friendly. Talk to your homestay family. Make new friends at ULI

What NOT to do:

Feel sorry for yourself Call home all the time (this will make it worse) Spend a lot of time alone

Culture shock stages:

Honeymoon period In the beginning, you will be fascinated byeverything new. You will be excited and happy about being in a newculture.

Culture shock You become immersed in new problems: housing,transportation, shopping, and language. Mental tiredness results

from continuously straining to understand English. Headaches arecommon.Initial adjustment Everyday activities such as housing and shoppingare no longer major problems. Although you

may not be fluent yet in English, you can start to express basic ideas andfeelings in English.

Mental isolation -- When youve been away from your friends or familyfor a long time, you may feel lonely. You may begin to think that you cannot express yourself as well in English as in your native language. This can

result in frustration or lack of confidence. Somestudents stay at this stage.

Acceptance and integration You are finally able to establish a routine.You have accepted the habits, customs, foods, and characteristics of thepeople in your new culture. You finally feel comfortable with your newfriends, associates, and the English language.


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What to Do if Theres a ProblemWhat to Do if Theres a ProblemWhat to Do if Theres a ProblemWhat to Do if Theres a ProblemIf you have a problem with your homestay, talk with them

about it first.If you still have a problem, talk with your housing coordinator

about it. We cannot help you if we do not know that there is a problem.Together, we can solve most problems.

Moving OutMoving OutMoving OutMoving OutIf problems cannot be solved, students who did not visit

their homestay family before moving in will be allowed to changehomestays a maximum of one time without any additional fee. A 30-daynotice is required to find a new family unless it is an emergency. Youshould not move or change host families without talking to the housingcoordinator first.

You are allowed to stay in your homestay a maximum of 2weeks after your last day of class. The only exception to this would be if

there is no student who will be moving into your homestay immediatelyafter you. However, we request that you move out to accommodate anew ULI student after you have finished your studies at ULI if requestedto do so.

Words To KnowWords To KnowWords To KnowWords To Knowaccommodate to adjust to make a place for someone or somethingadjust to change what you normally doappropriate what is good to do in a certain situation

approximately a guess of the amountburping -- to make a loud noise of air after you eatchauffeur someone you can pay to drive for youchopping cuttingconfidence a feeling that you are able to do somethingconsiderate to think about the needs and feelings of other peopleconvenience store place to buy gas and snackscouple two people who live togethercritical noticing all the bad things about everythingcurfew the time you have to come home

deodorant product to use under your arms to make them smell betterdetergent -- soapdishwasher the machine that washes dishesdusting the process of removing dust from furnitureembarrassed to feel uncomfortable and self-consciousfabric softener liquid or sheets used to keep clothes soft and static-free during dryingfair the rules are the same for everybodyfascinated excited and interested by somethingfluent to be able to speak a language correctly and without effort


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frustration feeling disappointed and that things arent like you want themheadaches pain in your headhomework school work that your teacher asks you to do at homeimmersed completely covered by somethingimpolite to not be nicein advance paid for the future

installed to put something into place so that it worksirritable easily annoyed or easily made madisolation alone and apart from other peopleknock to hit the door with your hand to make a soundlack to not haveleftovers food left over from a meallifestyle the way that people livelinens the sheets, blankets, and/or comforters on your bedmeals breakfast, lunch, and suppermental relating to the brain

mile = 1.6 kilometersmopping wetting the floor with soap and water to cleanoffensive -- upsetting or insultingopportunity a chance for something goodopposite sex the gender opposite yours (male or female)permission to say that it is okay to do somethingpolite to be nicepornographic pictures related to sexprepare makerefunded money returned to yourelationship a connection of friendship

responsibility something that you must do by yourselfrules things you must do to live in the houseschedule a plan of things to doservants -- people that do house work for youslurping a loud sound you make with your mouth when you eat or drinksnacking eating between mealsstereo music playertransportation travel by car or other vehicle between two placesstraining to work very hard at something to the limiturinate to wet with body liquids

vacuuming using a vacuum to clean the carpetwithdrawing removing yourself from people

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