Relational competencesHow to be good adults for children

Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Humanity

I need to be seen as the person I am

I have the right to succeed

Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

All the adults at Mørkved school works in an appreciative way, to promote children's health and development.

Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Basic view of the adults

The quality of the relationsWe have adults who take responsibility

for the relationship quality in the interaction with children, by:

See the individual child on the child's own terms

Adapt their own behavior Be aware of when they react according to their

own needs

Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Relational competences

The adults ability to:

See each child on the child's own termsAdapt their own behaviourTo be the leader

And to take the whole responsibility for the quality of the relation

Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Relational competences – why do we focus upon that?

We shall look upon ourselves and our behaviour in our daily work

Am I sufficiently aware of this child, the child's feelings and needs?

How do I meet these needs of the child?How do I react when the child has a

challenging behavior?

Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Relational competences – why do we focus upon that?

Awareness of our work with children:

Children’s needOur leadershipOur responsibility for the quality of the relation

Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Relational competences – why do we focus upon that?

We need to change focus:

From ”the child” to ”the cooperation child – adult”

From ”the child’s actions” to ”my actions”

Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Relational competences

How often do we replace authority by force? When we misunderstand the meaning of the concept authority and are rather authoritarian.

We are not allowed!

Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Children cooperate

When children stop cooperating, it is either because they have cooperated too much too long, or because their integrity suffers. It is never because they are not cooperative.

Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

The responsibility for the cooperation

The adults has to take the responsibility

For the quality of the cooperation- especially when it goes wrong

Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Children's behaviour

A child's behavior is an expression

for something it does for itself and nothing it does against the adult

Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Recognition

To recognize a person,

and at the same time clearly stress

that some of its actions are not acceptable,

is possible!

Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Self confidence

Is about our performance

What we're good at

An outer but not superficial quality

Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Self-esteemIs about who I am:

To know myselfTo know my limitsTo be able to make personal choices

The spine of my life - it keeps me upAn inner core that develops throughout life

Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Self-esteem

Gives the child the opportunity to:

To dare to go ahead with new and unknown things

To acquire new knowledge and new skillsTo provide peak performanceTo develop the ability to behave

Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Good self-esteemIs knowledge and experience of who I am, and

what is good and bad for me

Is my human immune system that makes me less vulnerable to serious emotional experiences

Is the keynote of my psychological existence

Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Developing self-esteem

Our children has good self-esteem, because the adults:

Appreciate the child as it isIs mentally present at the momentRealize and admit their mistakesPerceive children's behavior as communication

to the surroundings, no matter how difficult it is

Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Healthy self-esteemSelf-esteem in children is growing healthy

when we change our evaluating communication with recognition

Recognition is necessary for the development of self-esteem, but the educational tradition of evaluating communication is often blocking this opportunity

Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Self-esteem and Self confidence

Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Is about «to be»

Recognition

Is about «to do»

Credit

Being under constant evaluation, is a threat to self-esteem

A child

A child live slowly - and reflection and wonder requires rest and time.

A child need time with adultsoffering their attentionrather than requiring the child's attention.

Mørkved skole, Brumunddal