how to juggle multiple boyfriends on valentine's day · 2/10/2014 how to juggle multiple...

2/10/2014 How to juggle multiple boyfriends on Valentine's Day

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Feb. 14 is right around the corner, and if you've got a couple of cuties you're currently talking to but totally not exclusive w ith,

w ell, let's just say things can get complicated.

Double the troubleWe turned to the experts for a little last-minute love advice to help you avoid a Valentine's Day gone bad.

Take the reins

As long as everyone know s you're a free agent and there aren't any expectations, there's absolutely nothing w rong w ith

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How to juggle multiple boyfriends on Valentine's DayFeb 10, 2014 5:00 AM by Elizabeth Mitchell

Posted in Love & Sex / Marriage & Relationships / Dating

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As long as everyone know s you're a free agent and there aren't any expectations, there's absolutely nothing w rong w ithw anting to spend your Valentine's Day w ith a couple of different men w hen you're not in a committed relationship, assuresdating and relationship expert Jason Weberman of North Star Coaching. “That being said, if you w ant to split your time betw eensw eeties, then you're going to have to take the reins in planning the day for both gentlemen. Fine w ith not being surprised byunfolding events? Start the day off w ith having brunch w ith fellow number one and enjoy a cocktail w ith guy number tw o laterthat night. Make sure to leave yourself plenty of time betw een dates though so you can regenerate for your second one," hew arns. Jason also recommends not squeezing in a third, as you'd be so exhausted and stressed that you w ouldn't enjoy any ofthem.

Don't get them all the same thing

Seriously, just don't! "While it may be easier to shop for one gift for all and get a mass merchandise discount (as w ell asremembering you bought four red cashmere sw eaters for the four guys you're currently dating)," points out relationship expertand author April Masini of AskApril.com, "the dow nside opportunity for them finding out and feeling like they just got a mass blastlove letter is higher than if you got four special things for each one." Um, w e couldn't agree more.

Appreciate the gifts you're given

But don't display the goods! "If one guy comes to your house and sees you've already gotten a dozen red roses and they're ondisplay in clear view , his are going to w ilt, so to speak," says April. "Be discreet and take off the engraved heart necklace oneguy gives you before going out w ith another." It's simply disrespectful not to.

Give priority to the guy who asks you out first

If you aren't exclusive w ith one person and are dating several guys, professional life coach and dating/relationship expert AmySchoen of Motivatedtomarry.com suggests making plans w ith the guy w ho asks you out f irst since he's show ing some initiative.Then if the second guy asks just say you already have plans for dinner (the less said the better to keep him guessing) andw ould love to meet for lunch, she advises. "If there's another guy and he w aits until the last minute, w ell, he's out of luck!"

Make sure everyone is on the same page

This is one of those situations w here honesty really is the best policy. Although you don't have to go into detail about your otherplans or the person you're seeing, you should make sure your date know s you're seeing other people and that you aren'texclusive. This is important for tw o reasons, says licensed marriage and family therapist Jennifer Chappell Marsh. "First of all,there w ill be less w orry/guilt on your part about 'being found out' or hurting your date. Secondly, if your causal dating turns intosomething more serious, then you've started things out honestly w here trust can build. Otherw ise, your partner could feelbetrayed dow n the line."

Don't overbook or over commit yourselfLimit stress by being realistic w ith your time constraints and set clear expectations from the get go, advises Jennifer. "Keep thedates limited to one location (each date, different location) and communicate clearly about w hat time you have available. This w illprevent you from getting anxious and your dates from being disappointed," she notes.

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