1

I Don’t Like My Cross

by

A Friend of Medjugorje

1

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©SJP International Copyright. All rights reserved including international rights. No part of this booklet may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from Caritas who is licensed to use the material. Caritas of Birmingham, 100 Our Lady Queen of Peace Drive, Sterrett, Alabama 35147 USA. None of the mailing lists of Caritas or its entities, including electronic mailing lists, etc., are for sale, nor is permission given to use them in anyway, by anyone. There are no exceptions. All civil, criminal and interstate violations of law apply.

By no means is Caritas intending to pre-empt the Church on the validity of the Apparitions. They are private revelation awaiting the Church’s judgment. Because the Queen of Peace Apparitions are ongoing and not yet over, the Church has yet to rule on their authenticity. Caritas of Birmingham, the Community of Caritas and all associated with it, realize and accept that the final authority regarding the Queen of Peace Medjugorje Apparitions rests with the Holy See in Rome. We at Caritas, willingly submit to that judgment. Caritas of Birmingham and its mission is not connected to the Diocese of Birmingham, Alabama. The Diocese of Birmingham’s official position on Caritas is neutral and holds us as Catholics in good standing.

Published with permission from SJP Lic. COB.

For additional copies write:

Caritas of Birmingham100 Our Lady Queen of Peace Drive

Sterrett, AL 35147 USACall 205-672-2000 press ext. 315 (24 hours a day)

See pages 19-20 for Pricing.

© 2009, S.J.P. Lic. C.O.B.© 2008, S.J.P. Lic. C.O.B.

© 2006, S.J.P. Lic. C.O.B.© 2003, S.J.P. Lic. C.O.B.

© 2002, S.J.P. Lic. C.O.B.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

The author of this book is also the author of the books Words From Heaven®, How to Change Your Husband

™, I See Far

™, Look

What Happened While You Were Sleeping™ and other publications

such as the Words of the Harvesters and the Caritas of Birmingham Newsletter. He has written more on Medjugorje than anyone in the world, producing life-changing writings and spiritual direction to countless numbers across the world, of all nationalities. He wishes to be known only as “A Friend of Medjugorje.” The author is not one looking in from the outside regarding Medjugorje, but one who is close to the events - many times, right in the middle of the events about which he has written; a first-hand witness.

Originally writing to only a few individuals in 1987, readership has grown to over 250,000 in the United States, with additional readers in over one hundred thirty foreign countries, who follow the spiritual insights and direction given through these writings.

The author, when asked why he signs only as “A Friend of Medjugorje,” stated:

“I have never had an ambition or desire to write. I do so only because God has shown me, through prayer, that He desires this of me. So from the begin-ning, when I was writing to only a few people, I prayed to God and promised I would not sign anything; that the writings would have to carry them-selves and not be built on a personality. I prayed

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that if it was God’s desire for these writings to be inspired and known, then He could do it by His Will and grace and that my will be abandoned to it.

“The Father has made these writings known and continues to spread them to the ends of the earth. These were Our Lord’s last words before ascend-ing: “Be a witness to the ends of the earth.” These writings give testimony to that desire of Our Lord to be a witness with one’s life. It is not impor-tant to be known. It is important to do God’s Will.”

For those who require “ownership” of these writings by the author in seeing his name printed on this work in order to give it more credibility, we state that we cannot reconcile the fact that these writings are producing hundreds of thousands of conversions, if not millions through grace, and are requested worldwide from every corner of the earth. The author, there-fore, will not take credit for a work that, by proof of the impact these writings have to lead hearts to conversion, have been Spirit–inspired with numbers increasing yearly, sweeping as a wave across the ocean. Indeed in this case, crossing every ocean of the earth. Our Lady gave this author a direct message for him through the visionary, Marija, of Medjugorje, in which Our Lady said to him to witness not with words but through humility. It is for this reason that he wishes to remain simply “A Friend of Medjugorje.”

— Caritas of Birmingham

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MedjugorjeThe Story in Brief

THE VILLAGE SEES THE LIGHT is the title of a story which “Reader’s Digest” published in February 1986. It was the first major news on a mass public scale that told of the Virgin Mary visiting the tiny village of Medjugorje, Bosnia-Hercegovina. At that time this village was populated by 400 families.

It was June 24, 1981, the Feast of John the Baptist, the proclaimer of the coming Messiah. In the evening, around 5:00 p.m., the Virgin Mary appeared to two young people, Mirjana Dragicevic* and Ivanka Ivankovic*. A little later, around 6:40 p.m. the same day, four more young people, Milka Pavlovic*, the little sister of Marija, Ivan Ivankovic, Vicka Ivankovic*, and Ivan Dragicevic saw the Virgin Mary. June 25, 1981, was the first day the six visionaries, Ivanka Ivankovic,*, Mirjana Dragicevic*, Vicka Ivankovic,* Marija Pavlovic*, Ivan Dragicevic and Jakov Colo saw Our Lady, or the “Gospa,” on the hill. These six have become known as and remain “the visionaries.” These visionar-ies are not related to one another. Three of the six visionaries no longer see Our Lady on a daily basis. As of July 2009, the Virgin is still appearing everyday to the remaining three visionaries; that’s well over 12,820 apparitions. The supernatural event has survived all efforts of the Communists to put a stop to it,

* Names at the time of the apparitions, they are now married with last names changed.

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many scientific studies, and even the condemnation by the local bishop; yet, the apparitions have survived, giving strong evidence that this is from God because nothing and no one has been able to stop it. For over twenty-eight years, the apparitions have proved themselves over and over and now credibility is so favorable around the world that the burden of proof that this is authentic has shifted from those who believe to the burden of proof that it is not happening by those opposed to it. Those against the apparitions are being crushed by the fruits of Medjugorje — millions and millions of conversions which are so powerful that they are changing and will continue to change the whole face of the earth.

See mej.com for more information.

I Don’t Like My Cross

Suffering—who can escape it these days? It seems as

an affliction upon us all. Yet, Our Lady says of this time:

December 25, 1995

“…This time is the time of grace…”

It seems somewhat of a contradiction to be in a time of grace

and so many of Our Lady’s committed children are suffering.

Yet, we have the lives of the saints who are faithful reproduc-

tions of Christ. Their lives were filled with crosses, trials, and

sufferings. Most want to unite themselves to Christ, but few

wish to pay the price of doing so in completeness. Christ suf-

fered, and the more you unite to Him, the more you will expe-

rience the same. Why? To unite with Christ is to turn against

the ways of the world. The world, in turn, is not tolerant of

your effort toward change and will hate and persecute you for

it. These crosses come often by way of suffering. This suffer-

ing must be embraced as Jesus loved and embraced His cross.

To dread suffering is to stop on the way to perfection. Instead

of perfection, the desire for pleasures, as the world’s society

constantly seeks, is driving man which is a great impediment

to sanctification. The price paid for turning against the world

is suffering. As souls become brilliant lights, undefiled upon

leaving Purgatory, entering into the presence of God, sancti-

fication, which is what Our Lady wants of us, is in effect the

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same, that we may enter Heaven into the presence of God,

directly from this life. Our Lady has said that most souls go

to Purgatory upon their death, the second most go to hell, and

few go directly to Heaven. We must see suffering as a gift, a

grace to be joyfully embraced. Our Lady said on September

11, 1986:

“…I desire that your cross also would be a joy

for you. Especially, dear children, pray that you

may be able to accept sickness and suffering

with love the way Jesus accepted them…”

As souls in Purgatory, upon entering it, experience

a suffering unlike anything the earth could offer, there is a

parallel experience of a tremendous consolation, a joy unlike

anything they have experienced upon the earth: the consola-

tion of knowing that they will go to Heaven. The suffering

upon the earth, while inferior to suffering in Purgatory, should

give us a great consolation and joy; for if suffering is properly

accepted and used for sanctification, though it will not be

comparable to Purgatory’s consolation, it will bring us from

one moment in life here to the next moment standing in the

joy and the light of Heaven. It is at this point that a reversal

happens in regards to the suffering experienced in purgatory

compared to the suffering on earth. Though the suffering

experienced on earth is less than the suffering felt in purga-

tory, consolation is far greater in purgatory than any consola-

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tion on earth because of the knowledge that Heaven has been

won. When suffering is accepted and embraced upon earth

it achieves the direct entry of Heaven from this life, and with

suffering over, Heaven becomes the highest consolation one

can receive. The joy experienced upon the immediate entry

into Heaven after life on earth is greatly superior to purga-

tory’s consolation as Heaven is reached without having to

suffer the purifying fire of purgatory. In essence, no suffer-

ing on earth comes close to the suffering of a soul in purga-

tory. Likewise, no consolation of a soul in purgatory comes

anywhere close to a soul upon the direct entry into Heaven

because they did their suffering and atonement on earth. The

suffering of life, all its trials, will then be your joy, your medal

you will wear in Heaven.

We hear from many from all walks of life, and the pat-

tern is that those who are praying the most, loving the most,

trying to walk straight the most, are, in turn, suffering the

most. Why? Because sanctification means to unite ourselves

with Christ and to be transformed in him, and in order for that

to happen, we must trace His life. Jesus himself leads us on

this path to follow Him.

Matthew 16:24

If anyone wants to be a follower of mine, let

him renounce himself and take up “his” cross

and follow me.

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Therefore, there is no other way. It is necessary to, lovingly

and without complaining, embrace your suffering by taking

“one’s” own cross. Jesus said take up “your cross,” not His.

There once was a man who complained bitterly about

his cross to anyone who would listen. He had a dream that he

was talking to an angel and was complaining about his cross.

It was too heavy. He couldn’t bear it any longer, He didn’t

want that cross. Suddenly he and the angel were in a huge

place in the clouds, except it was like a warehouse with long

aisles and shelves stocked very high. Upon the shelves were

crosses: big ones, small ones, all kinds, millions of them. The

angel told him he could trade his in, so he gave it to one of the

angels working there. The angel led the man down the aisle

where he began to try out other crosses. He tried this one and

said, “I don’t like this one.” And then another and stated it was

too heavy. Another was too complicated. Aisle after aisle he

searched. Finally he came to one and said, “Oh, this is the one.

It fits perfectly. I’ll take this cross.” Upon which the angel

said, “This is the cross you just turned in.”

The cross you have is the cross God gave you. Yes, it

could be aggravated by bad decisions we have made. It could

be bad fruit we have picked in our life from living wrong, or

it could be suffering God has given us to test us and, thereby

make us holy. Whatever it may be, it is the cross, or one might

say the antidote and trial, we need to purify us. It is what God

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has given. We will suffer in this life. Either way, depending

on if we embrace suffering or reject it, will determine if we

enter directly into the light of Heaven or enter Purgatory for

more of the same, or even worse a third place. Who, especially

those who suffer the most in this life, wants to spend 60 – 70

years here and start over again for another long span of time,

equivalent to years in Purgatory?

Our Lady knows what is best for us. It is to our benefit

to struggle, to suffer. But we determine if it becomes valu-

able or worthless. Do we elevate God through our suffering

by witnessing joy amidst trials or do we take away from God’s

kingdom by carrying it in such a way that it brings others

down and even away from God. Our Lady said in November

1991:

“...When you are sick, when you suffer from

something, don’t say, ‘Oh, why has this hap-

pened to me and not to somebody else.’ No, say

instead: ‘Lord, I thank you for the gift you are

giving me.’ For sufferings are really great gifts

from God. They are sources of great graces for

you and for others. When you are sick, many of

you only pray and repeat, ‘Heal me, heal me.’

No, dear children, this is not correct because

your hearts are not open; you shut your hearts

through your sickness. You cannot be open to

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the will of God nor to the graces He wants to

give you. Pray this way: ‘Lord, Thy will be done

in me.’ Then only can God communicate His

graces to you, according to your real needs that

He knows better than you. It can be healing,

new strength, new joy, new peace — only open

your hearts...”

A Christian, who is seeking perfection, will consider it

a great benefit to the soul to suffer. With a correct attitude,

reflecting Our Lady’s message, sorrow and suffering will be

more attractive to the Christian than pleasure to a pagan.

We must realize that all suffering will pass. However,

for those who embrace their suffering, using it for purification

or for the souls of others, the ‘results’ that come from this suf-

fering will never pass, for this suffering atones for one’s own

soul and/or for others. Its admiral mark will be forever lasting,

as a noble crown, throughout eternity. In this way suffering

gives way to eternal bliss thereby “marking” the soul who suf-

fered for its own purification or others with its reward. There

is no more suffering, only the history of it made and the heav-

enly bliss that is its fruit.

This calculates out also into sacrifices. When you

sacrifice or deny yourself some sort of pleasure or desire like

coffee or sweets, the act of denying yourself or the “loss” you

experience through your denial is what tames the flesh. Sacri-

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ficial suffering elevates one’s soul over the body. It is good for

the soul not to give the body its wants. As St. Paul states:

1 Corinthians 9:27

“I treat the body hard and make it obey me.”

Today, society, more than any time in world history, has

spoiled the body. The flesh rules rather than being ruled, and

the more we give it, the more it demands.

Suffering is our diamond, our jewel from God that

breaks our attachments from “things,” our “wealth,” our “con-

veniences.” Nothing can console suffering except God’s grace,

and when it can’t be taken away, nothing comforts it more

than when embraced. You know it has purpose. Where one

who does not understand its value and as a result of suffering

loses hope, the opposite is realized for the one who uses it as

atonement through properly offering it, thereby turning it into

something of great value. Our Lady said on September 25,

1996:

“Dear children! Today, I invite you to offer

your crosses and suffering for my intentions.

Little children, I am your Mother and I wish to

help you by seeking for you the grace from God.

Little children, offer your sufferings as a gift to

God so they become a most beautiful flower of

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joy. That is why, little children, pray so that you

may understand that suffering can become joy

and the cross the way of joy…”

Suffering offered and accepted perfectly invites God’s mercy,

and He cannot refuse attention to your needs nor His love.

Does not the Beatitudes promise, not maybe, but promise that

those who weep and mourn will be comforted?

The world’s commerce and economic system is filled

with greed, fueled by inordinate desires for wealth and power,

and jealousies. God’s commerce and economic system is

an economy where a suffering soul can purchase graces for

another’s salvation, pay his bounty to free him from slavery.

Properly embraced suffering endangers the world’s economy

by exchanging it for “economy of grace,” thereby, purchasing

for your heart or others: charity instead of greed, detachment

instead of inordinate desires, contentment instead of “wealth-

mongering,”* humility instead of power, happiness for others’

gain instead of jealousies. The wealth of suffering has such

value that one individual can make a purchase for himself or

another’s soul and though all of the world’s material wealth

be put together, it could not equal in value the same purchase

made by the one single individual; for God is not moved by

* Wealth-mongering is not meant that it is wrong to grow rich, but the grace to grow rich is to acknowledge God’s hand in it and to realize your accountability to become His dispens-ers according to His Scriptures or inspirations, rather than to think it belongs or was given solely to you or your inclinations.

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the economy of the world purchasing through dollars, but by

the economy of grace purchasing by suffering and sacrificing

love. That is wealth.

March 18, 1985

“…Right now many are greatly seeking money,

not only in the parish, but in the whole world…”

March 2, 1982

“…If you suffer for a just cause, blessings will

be still more abundant for you.”

Affectionately,

A Friend of Medjugorje

15

Look What

While You Were

By a Friend of Medjugorje

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people immediately start reading it a 2nd time and why others have

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Readers agree this book will rank as one of the #1 books ever written

connected to Medjugorje.

“One of the most important books ever written.”

—C. H., Atlanta, Georgia

“Your book really opened my eyes!!!”

—J.P. , Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

“How asleep I have been! As I read…I have been asking myself,

‘How did this happen?’ and ‘When did this happen?’”

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Other Titles About Our Lady’s Messages!If you would like more copies of this booklet for distribution at your church, prayer group, or for family or friends, etc…please contact your local bookstore, call Caritas of Birmingham–24 hours a day, or fill out the order form at the end of this booklet.

Other titles in this series by A Friend of Medjugorje:

bk1001 Whose Opinion is Right?bk1002 Twenty Years of Apparitionsbk1003 American History You Never Learnedbk1004 Changing Historybk1005 Patriotic Rosary (1=free, 10=90¢ea, 25=75¢ea, 50=60¢ea, 100=40¢ea, 1,000=30¢ea)

bk1006 August 5th, What Are You Doing for Her Birthday?bk1007 Medjugorje—The Fulfillment of all Marian Apparitionsbk1008 A New Ark?bk1009 As Go God’s People, So Goes the Worldbk1010 Medjugorje, Mirjana, A Mystery Revealedbk1011 A Time for Decisionbk1012 satan Wants to Destroy Medjugorjebk1013 Fastingbk1014 Modestybk1015 In Front of the Crucifix with Our Ladybk1016 Treasure Chestbk1017 Entering A New Timebk1018 Understanding Our Lady’s Messages Title list cont. on next page

See order form in back of booklet for pricing

Ostali naslovi o Gospinim porukama! (Tiskano na hrvatskom)

bk1051 Razumijevanje Gospinih poruka (prevedeno na hrvatski)bk1052 Međugorje: Ispunjenje svih Marijinih ukazanja (prevedeno na hrvatski) bk1053 Nova arka (prevedeno na hrvatski) bk1054 Kriza–disciplina (prevedeno na hrvatski)bk1055 Međugorje, Mirjana, otkrivena tajna (prevedeno na hrvatski)bk1056 Čednost (prevedeno na hrvatski)bk1057 Gospin recept za pobjedu: Molite, molite, molite! (prevedeno na hrvatski)bk1058 sotona želi uništiti Međugorje (prevedeno na hrvatski)bk1059 Pogled na 2000 godina kršćanske povijesti (prevedeno na hrvatski)bk1060 Vrijeme odluke (prevedeno na hrvatski)bk1061 5. kolovoza: Što činiš za Njezin rođendan? (prevedeno na hrvatski)bk1062 Ulazak u novo vrijeme (prevedeno na hrvatski) bk1063 S Gospom pred raspelom (prevedeno na hrvatski)bk1064 Pripremanje za oluju (prevedeno na hrvatski)bk1065 Ne volim svoj križ (prevedeno na hrvatski)

Da biste nabavili još primjeraka knjige, posjetite Misijsku kuću Caritasa u Međugorju.(Upute su na unutarnjoj stranici zadnje korice ove knjižice)

18

Other titles by A Friend of Medjugorje continued

bk1019 A Blessing to Help Save the Worldbk1020 Fallen Field Angelbk1021 Don’t Tell Me What to Do!bk1022 Spanning 2000 Years of Historybk1023 When You Decide for Changebk1024 Have You Become Complacent or Fallen Asleep?bk1025 I Don’t Like My Crossbk1026 What Do We Do Now?bk1027 Thy Will Be Done? And Hand to the Plowbk1028 Our Lady’s 7 Steps to…Set the Captives Freebk1029 Who’s Driving?bk1030 “I Don’t Have to Go to Medjugorje.” Reasons Why One Must Go to Medjugorjebk1031 The Seven Novenas in Preparation for the Five Days of Prayer for the Reconciling of Ourselves, Our Families, and Our Nation Back to God

bk1033 Calling on Heaven (Caritas’ prayers)

bk1036 Our Lady’s Formula for Victory: “Pray, Pray, Pray”bk1037 A Miracle from the Field for Our Nationbk1038 Crisis-Disciplinebk1039 Quietismbk1040 Wedding Bookletbk1041 Why So Many Disasters?bk1042 How the Early Church Learned…bk1043 Be Strong! Do Not Relax!bk1044 Some Remarkable things About Our Lady’s Messagesbk1045 You Have Been Calledbk1046 Surrender Your Problems to Mebk1047 Two Americasbk1048 Ready“ing” for the Stormbk1049 Judge with Right Judgementbk1050 Confession of a Big Sinbk1051 Razumijevanje Gospinih poruka (prevedeno na hrvatski)bk1052 Međugorje: Ispunjenje svih Marijinih ukazanja (prevedeno na hrvatski) bk1053 Nova arka (prevedeno na hrvatski) bk1054 Kriza–disciplina (prevedeno na hrvatski)bk1055 Međugorje, Mirjana, otkrivena tajna (prevedeno na hrvatski)bk1056 Čednost (prevedeno na hrvatski)bk1057 Gospin recept za pobjedu: Molite, molite, molite! (prevedeno na hrvatski)bk1058 sotona želi uništiti Međugorje (prevedeno na hrvatski)bk1059 Pogled na 2000 godina kršćanske povijesti (prevedeno na hrvatski)bk1060 Vrijeme odluke (prevedeno na hrvatski)bk1061 5. kolovoza: Što činiš za Njezin rođendan? (prevedeno na hrvatski)bk1062 Ulazak u novo vrijeme (prevedeno na hrvatski) bk1063 S Gospom pred raspelom (prevedeno na hrvatski)bk1064 Pripremanje za oluju (prevedeno na hrvatski)bk1065 Ne volim svoj križ (prevedeno na hrvatski)

Volume orders can be made up of different booklets.More booklets are being produced monthly at Caritas of Birmingham, call 205-672-2000 for new titles.

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St. JamesChurch

Park

Caritas Mission House

CrossMountain(Križevac)

Apparition Hill(Podbrdo)

School

Apparition Trail

Medjugorje©

Don’t Miss a Visit to the Caritas Mission HouseApparition Hill, Cross Mountain, the Visionaries, St. James Church, and Caritas Mission House, these are the five “must do’s” to have a complete Medjugorje pilgrimage. Throughout the years, pilgrims from every nation have made the Caritas of Birmingham Mission House in Medjugorje a part of their pilgrimage. Countless numbers have relayed to us it is there, in the Mission House, where they came to understand more fully Our Lady’s messages and plans for the world. It is why people, who have returned home from their pilgrimages, have told others going to Medjugorje to go to the Caritas Mission House, stating that the Caritas Mission House was a high point of their pilgrimage and a “must do” to make a pilgrimage to Medjugorje a complete and more profound experience.

Look for the St. Michael statue.Caritas of Birmingham Mission House is operated by the Community of Caritas.The Mother house is located at: 100 Our Lady Queen of Peace Drive • Sterrett, Alabama 35147 USA

“The Mission House was the only meeting place in Med-jugorje to learn more about and discuss the Messages.”

Pilgrim

England

“Following Caritas’ mission for several years and observing their work in spreading Our Lady of Medjugorje’s messages, it’s no wonder to me as to how they became the largest Medjugorje Center in the world.”

PilgrimScotland

“I found peace and love in the Mission House.”

PilgrimSouth Africa

“After coming in the Caritas Mission House, I decided not to leave my husband and seek to bring prayer and healing into my family.”

PilgrimIreland

www.mej.com Extensive up-to-date information on Medjugorje as it happens.

Suffering today is being experienced by all of Our Lady’s children. Often we will hear from family, friends, and many on our mailing list, “Please pray for me. I am going through difficult trials right now.” The truth is, everyone is. The time we are in is the puri-fication of the heart. Our Lady wants us not to be crushed by this purification, but be made stronger. Read and find out how.

100 Our Lady Queen of Peace Drive • Sterrett, AL 35147 USA205-672-2000 USA

Printed by Caritas of Birmingham. Made available to you by our Field Angels.mej.com all your Medjugorje information