improvingipr.ppttextbooklecture_ary -english speaking course lucknow (cdi) –
TRANSCRIPT
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IMPROVINGINTERPERSONALRELATIONSHIPS
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CommunicationClimate Theemotionalfeelingsthatarepresentwhen
peopleinteractwithoneanother
Communicationclimatesaremetaphors forthe feelings wehavewheninteracting withothers
Possiblerelationalclimates:
-stormy
-cold
-sunny
-warm
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How is communication climate
determined?
Byhow communicatorsspeak and act towardoneanother
Byhow much communicators feel that theyarevaluedby theother person
Theway another person treatsus isoften an
indicator forhow they feel towardus We interpretothersbehaviors inorder to
determinehow important weare to them
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Confirmingresponses
Messages that tell you thatyou are
valuedby theother personExamplesof confirmingmessages:
youmatter tome
you arespecial Confirmingmessagesmaybedisplayed
verballyornonverbally
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Three typesof confirming
messages
Recognition- showingrecognitionof
another persons presence Acknowledgment- torecognizeand
validateanothers ideas and feelings
Endorsement- recognizing anothersideas and feelings andshowingagreement for them.
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Disconfirmingresponses
Messages thatdeny thevaluesof
another person May take the formofdisagreeing withor ignoring another personsmessage
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How DoCommunication
ClimatesDevelop? Climatesbegin assoon as two peoplebegin
to communicate
The typeofmessagessent will determine iftheclimatewill begoodorbad
Verbal andnonverbal messages contributeto
the feel of theclimate Theydevelop according to communicators
responses tooneanother
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Self-perpetuating
Spirals
Aspiral takes placewhen communicatorsreciprocateandbuildupon themessages thataresent tooneanother
Each personsmessagereinforces theothersmessage
Communicatorsbuildononeanothersmessages
Therearepositiveandnegativespirals
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Two typesof conflictspirals
Escalatory conflictspirals- oneattack
leads to another attack, and continuestobuild
De-escalatory conflictspirals- whencommunicatorsdecreaseamountofinvolvement with communicationbycontinued withdraw
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TheGibbCategories forD
efensiveandSupportiveBehaviors
listofsix pairsof contrastingmessagesthatmayeither lead to confirmingordisconfirmingmessages
Using confirmingmessages andavoidingdisconfirmingmessagesencourages positiverelationships
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Gibbssix pairsofDefensive
andSupportivebehaviors:Defensive Supportive
Evaluation vs.D
escriptionControl vs. Problem Orientation
Strategy vs. Spontaneity
Neutrality vs. Empathy
Superiority vs. Equality
Certainty vs. Provisionalism
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Evaluationvs.D
escription
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EvaluativeCommunication
statements that comeacross as
judgmental Often involvean accusatory tone
youstatements
Put theother personon thedefense
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Descriptivecommunication
focuseson the thoughts and feelingsof
thespeaker insteadof judging thelistener
Describehow theother personsbehaviorhaseffectedhimorher, ratherthan just judging it
Often involveIstatements
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Control vs.Problem
Orientation
Control- whensender tries to imposea
solutionon thereceiver with littleregardofhow that person feels
Problemorientation- involvesbothcommunicatorsseeking a solution thatisequallysatisfying
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Strategyvs.
Spontaneity
Strategy- involves theuseof
manipulation inorder togetsomeonetobehavea certain way
Spontaneity- theuseofhonesty togetothers tobehave a certain way
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Neutralityvs.Empathy
Neutrality- a neutral attitudeshows a
lack of concern for theother Empathy- showing anunderstanding for
what theother person isgoing through
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Superiorityvs.Equality
Superiority- when peopleact as is they
arebetter thanothers Equality- when peoplebehave as
though they areequal toeveryoneelse
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Certaintyvs.Provisionalism
Certainty- messages that tell thereceiver that thesendersmind isalreadymadeup
-notopen tosuggestion
Provisionalism- willing to acknowledge
other pointsofview even if they feeltheyhavealreadymadeup theirmind
- involves keeping anopenmind
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ASSERTIVEBEHAVIOR
Enables an individual to act inhisorherbest interests withoutdenyingorinfringingupon therightsofothers
Allows people tospeak theirmindswithouthurtingor threateningothers
Allows people toexpress angerordisappointment without actingaggressively
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Four characteristicsof
assertivecommunicators1.They areopen about their feelings
2.They arenot anxious, theydeal withstressfulsituations calmly
3.They arecontentious, theystandup andargue for theirrights, even if thismightentail
a certaindisagreementor conflict4.They arenot intimidated and arenoteasily
persuadedbyothers
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PRINCIPLESFORINCREASING
ASSERTIVENESS
Analyze theassertivebehaviorofothers
Analyzeyourownbehaviors Recordyourbehaviors
Rehearseassertivebehaviors
Acton it, respond assertively whengiven thechance
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Fivecharacteristicsof an
assertivemessage
1. Behavioral description
2. Your interpretationof theothersbehavior
3.Adescriptionofyour feelings
4.Adescriptionof theconsequences5.Astatementofyour intentions
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CON
FLIC
T
Expressedstrugglebetween at least
two interdependent parties whoperceive incompatiblegoals, scarcerewards, and interference from theother parties in achieving theirgoals.
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Expressedstruggle
Showingunhappinessor
disappointment about a situationverballyornonverbally
Both partiesmustbeaware that aconflictexists inorder tobe in conflict
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Perceived incompatiblegoals
Conflictsusually appear tobewin-lose.
Those in conflictoften assume thatonlyoneperson can win ( soheorshefights tobe thewinner)
Although conflictsmay appear tobewin-lose there isoften a win-winsolution available
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Perceivedscarcerewards
Conflictsusually comeaboutbecause
partnersbelieve there isntenoughofsomething togo around. (i.e.money,food, love, jobs, time, etc.)
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Interdependence
Inonewayor another those in conflict
aredependentuponeachother forsomething
Ifboth partiesdidnotneedoneanotherthey wouldnotbemotivated to pursue
theconflict
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Three typesof conflict WIN-LOSE- oneperson wins thebattleandoneperson looses (oneparty leavessatisfied,
whiletheother leavesdissatisfied) LOSE-LOSE- both parties lose(both parties
leavewith a feelingofdissatisfaction)
Compromise- a typeof lose-loseconflict,
both partiesgive in and leavedissatisfied WIN-WIN-both parties win (both parties
leavewith a feelingofsatisfaction)
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STEPSINCREATEINGA
WIN-WIN CONFLICT1.Identifyyour problem andunmetneeds
2.Set a specific time todeal with conflict (one
that putsboth parties in a positiveclimate)3.Describeproblem andneeds
4.Check back withother, inorder toensureunderstanding
5.Ask other whathisorherneeds are
6.Paraphrasetomakesureyouunderstood
7.Negotiatea solution
8.Follow up onsolution that wasdecidedupon
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NEG
OTIATEAS
OLUTION1.Identify anddefineconflict
2.Generatea numberof possiblesolutions together
3.Evaluate thealternativesolutionstogether
4.Decideon thebestsolutions together
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INC
ONC
LUS
ION WECANALLBEBETTERATDEALING
WITHC
ONF
LIC
TWIT
HA
LITTL
EKNOWLEDGEANDALOTOFPRACTICE