infanticide!

Infanticide!

by

G. Patrick Condon

G. Patrick CondonThe Hunting Party5A Willicott LaneSt. John'[email protected]

PRODUCTION DOUBLE PINK (March 28, 2013)

DOUBLE WHITE Revision - 3-28-13 1.*

1 1INT. HOSPITAL EMERGENCY ROOM (CORRIDOR) - DAY

The Johnson's, LIZ (Late 20's, very pregnant), in awheelchair, doing her controlled breathing and DAN (Early30's) pushing her, a camcorder is hung around his neck.

2 2INT. DELIVERY ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Chaos in the delivery room, as NURSES rush around tending toLiz. Dan is still next to her side. We are in a worldfiguratively filled with roses.

DANHow are you feeling, sweet-heart?

LIZOh, a little discomfort. But I'llbe ok.

DR. HUTTON (Late 40's) slides into the shot. The nurses popin and out putting the latex gloves and other medical garbon Dr. Hutton.

DR. HUTTONWell, everything its looking finedown there. I think we're ready toinduce labor.

DANDr. Hutton, Liz is feeling some milddiscomfort--

DR. HUTTONThat's normal. And, nothing comparedto what's coming.

This scares Liz.

LIZWhat?

She's ignored.

(CONTINUED)

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2 CONTINUED: 2

*

DANI'm really happy we decided thatshe'd have a natural birth!

LIZCan I have some drugs, please?

DR. HUTTONA natural child birth says a lotabout a couple. I'm impressed.

LIZI thought the baby just slides outof my tummy??

DR. HUTTONWell, lets get this show on the road!

Dr. Hutton exits the shot. Dan holds up his camcorder. Lizgets her first big contraction.

DAN(To Liz)

I don't want to miss a second ofthis perfect moment.

LIZOk. Ok. Ok.

Dan hops down behind Dr. Hutton. Liz Pushes. The sceneturns to a horror movie.

DAN(Disgusted)

Oh my god!

DR. HUTTONDan, that's normal. Liz, push!

LIZSomebody get me some drugs!

DANLiz! You're soiling yourself!

DR. HUTTONThat's completely normal.

(to Liz)Push!

(CONTINUED)

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2 CONTINUED: (2) 2

Although Dan is turned away, his camcorder is still trainedon Liz's lower half

(CONTINUED)

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2 CONTINUED: (3) 2

LIZDan, stop taping!

Dan turns the camcorder away, it faces the doctor. He smilesat it.

DR. HUTTON(to camcorder)

By this point, you folks know howmuch it costs to raise a kid.

(to Liz)Liz. Push!

LIZWhat do you think I'm doing!?

DANLiz! Your vagina!

DR. HUTTONYes. She's going to need surgery.It's normal! Completely normal.

(to Dan's camcorder)From birth til they're 18, you'relooking at 500 large. Crazy, right?

(to Liz)Push!

LIZWhat's happening to my vagina?!

DANI don't know?!

DR. HUTTON(to Dan's camcorder)

It never goes back to the way itwas. It comes close. But not allthe way.

(to Liz)Push!

LIZBut, I love my vagina!

DANI love her vagina!

DR. HUTTON(to Dan's camcorder)

I'll tell you something you're notgoing to love.

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)


2 CONTINUED: (4) 2

DR. HUTTON (CONT'D)The cost of sending a kid touniversity.

(to Liz)Come on, Liz. Give another push.

LIZIf you tell me to push one more time,I'm going to rip out your throat andeat it.

(CONTINUED)

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2 CONTINUED: (5) 2

DR. HUTTONHere comes the head!

DANThat's a head?

(CONTINUED)


2 CONTINUED: (6) 2

LIZGet out! Get out! Get out! Getout! Get out! Get out! Get out!

Liz and Dan's screams fill the room until they're cut off bythe sound of a NEW BORN BABY. Dr. Hutton no-look passes thebaby to a nurse who hands it off to Dan.

DR. HUTTONCongratulations, Dan. You've justgiven birth to a million-dollar baby. I'll go get you a cigar.

Dan looks at his new born baby girl, with awe.

DANShe'll be worth it.

In the background, an exhausted and traumatized Liz shakes.

Dan looks down at the floor.

DAN (CONT'D)(Calling out of theroom)

Can we get a mop in here?

3 3INT. JOHNSON HOME (KITCHEN) - MORNING

Dan sits at the table, smoking a pipe, as he reads thenewspaper. The front page has the headline: "One Child LawHelping Curb Over Population". Liz enters.

LIZYou should get going, Hun. You'regoing to be late for work.

Dan check his watch.

DANOops. You're right.

LIZBoy, that "One Child Law" sure issomething, isn't it?

DANWell, who needs two kids when youget it right the first time, that'swhat I say.

Dan takes his coat off a coat rack and begins to leave.

(CONTINUED)


3 CONTINUED: 3

LIZBefore you go, come see what ourlittle lamb has learned to do!


4 4INT. JOHNSON HOME (LIVING ROOM) - CONTINUOUS

The Johnson's infant daughter APRIL (5 months old) sits inhighchair. In front of her is a block set.

LIZGo ahead. Show Daddy.

On cue, April picks up a square block and places it in thesquare hole on the block set.

DANThat's amazing hand-eye coordination! Maybe she'll be a famous balletdancer!

LIZOr a musician! I was thinking oftaking her to "My Kid's Got Talent". Just think, our little girl could bea TV star!

DANI'll say! You see the way she putthe square block in that square hole?

LIZGosh, it's moments like these thatmake being a parent worth it.

DANWell, I better be off. You girlshave fun. Make the Johnson familyproud!

Dan kisses Liz on the cheek and leaves. Liz smiles afterhim and looks down to April.

LIZ(sighing)

Perfect.

5 5INT. "MY KIDS GOT TALENT" AUDITION WAITING ROOM - DAY -LATER

Liz sits by herself filling out forms. Separated from herare three other women (Ms. Rutter, Ms. Stiner, Ms. Wolff). There is an awkward silence in the room. Liz tries to breakit.

LIZThese questions are pretty personal:When was your child conceived?

(MORE)(CONTINUED)


5 CONTINUED: 5

LIZ (CONT'D)Are you breast feeding? What medication does your child take?

The ladies ignore her. She tries to speak again. This timespecifically to Ms. Rutter

LIZ (CONT'D)What talent does your kid have--

MS. RUTTER(to Ms. Wolff)

How do you spell "atomoxetine"?

MS. WOLFF(rhyming it off)

A-T-O-M-O-X-E-T-I-N-E. It's verygood.

MS. STINERIt is. Paul is as quiet as a lambnow. A docile, vaguely coherentlamb.

LIZLamb! That's what we call our littlegirl!

Ms. Wolff crosses her legs, quickly followed by Ms. Stinerand Ms. Rutter.

MS. WOLFFHaven't seen you around the circuitbefore.

LIZ"The circuit"?

MS. RUTTERYes, the circuit--

MS. STINERThe child actor's circuit

MS. WOLFFHaven't seen you around before. Weknow all the mothers. You must benew.

MS. STINERAre you new?

(CONTINUED)

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5 CONTINUED: (2) 5

MS. RUTTERShe's new.

(CONTINUED)

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5 CONTINUED: (3) 5

LIZYes, I'm new. I only became a mothera few months ago, so--

The ladies gasp. Ms. Wolff uncrosses her legs, quicklyfollowed by Ms. Stiner and Ms. Rutter

MS. WOLFFYou came here with your first child?

MS. STINERYour for real first child?

MS. RUTTEROh, honey--

LIZWhat do you mean my "for real firstchild"?

Ms. Wolff moves to the seat closest to Liz.

MS. WOLFFAs in your second, third, or fourthchild. Not the first. The first isa tester. To get the juices flowing. You can't get to Carnegie hall beforeyou practice.

The ladies all nod to each other. Liz is confused.

MS. WOLFF (CONT'D)Come now, sweetie, you really don'tknow what we're talking about?

Liz shakes her head. Ms. Wolff smells blood.

MS. WOLFF (CONT'D)Ladies, we got a virgin!

MS. STINERI knew it!

MS. WOLFFYou came here with your first? That'sawfully presumptuous.

LIZBut we're only allowed to have onechild.

MS. WOLFFOne child at a time.

(CONTINUED)

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5 CONTINUED: (4) 5

LIZWell that doesn't make any sense,what happens to the old child? Doyou just throw them--

Liz finally clicks in that the women are talking about killingtheir children.

LIZ (CONT'D)Are you saying that you--

MS. WOLFFWe are saying that we--

LIZHow could mothers so such a thing?

MS. WOLFFIt's our duty as mothers to do sucha thing.

LIZWell maybe that's what you ladieshave to do. But my husband and Icome from good families.

MS. WOLFFYou can't possibly be that naive.

LIZWe'll see what you have to say afterthe auditions.

MS. WOLFFThe children your daughter is upagainst, they are elite. Ms. Rutter'sson? He's a published author. Ms.Stiner's son? He's an artist. He *made that picture above you. *

Liz looks up *

LIZ *Is that a self-portrait? *

Ms. Wolff Smiles. Liz looks up again. *

LIZ (CONT'D) *Is that macaroni? *

The picture is revealed to be made out of macaroni. *

(CONTINUED)

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5 CONTINUED: (5) 5

MS. STINEROur last child couldn't paint anythingother than landscape. You betterbelieve this one came out of thewomb painting portraits!

MS. WOLFFTell us, what talent does your littlelamb have?

LIZWell...she can put blocks in holes *that are the same shape as the *blocks... *

(CONTINUED)

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5 CONTINUED: (6) 5

The ladies let this sink in. Ms. Stiner pipes up to try tomake Liz feel better.

MS. STINERWell...it's hard to get everythingright the first time.

MS. RUTTEREven Hemingway had an editor.

MS. WOLFF"The lord is my shepherd, I shallnot want him for long."

LIZ(scared from hearingthat fucked up linefrom Ms. Wolff)

Oh shhhiiii--

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5A 5AOMITTED

6 6INT. JOHNSON HOME (LIVING ROOM) - EVENING - LATER

The Johnsons pace back and forth in their living room, Aprilsits on the floor with a toy piano in front of her. Theyare panicking.

LIZIt's not good enough, it's just notgood enough!

DANCome on, girl!

April looks up, bewildered.

DAN (CONT'D)She's just not getting it. Maybeshe needs more time?

LIZTime?! There's no time! The youngestperson to have a hit song was 11years, 2 months and 15 days! Youbetter believe he came out of thewomb playing the piano!

They wait for April to do something. Eventually, by accidentshe hits some keys. It's just noise.

LIZ (CONT'D)That experimental stuff ain't gonnasell!

Dan holds up a book of Shakespeare plays

DANAnd she made no effort to learn theJuliet monologue. She just drooledeverywhere! Like an invalid!

Dan slams the book to the ground.

(CONTINUED)

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6 CONTINUED: 6

LIZWell, what do you want to do, Dan? I mean we're stuck with this thingnow.

Dan thinks. He see's an electric outlet and gets an idea. He runs into the kitchen. We hear rummaging and he returnswith a fork in his hand.

DANWell...She's got one talent.

He motions to the outlet, Liz gets what he's talking about. Dan leaves the metal fork on the floor. Liz takes thechildproof cap off the outlet. They leave their daughteralone to do her trick, one last tragic time.


Liz, in a wheelchair, doing her controlled breathing and Danpushing her, on the way to the delivery room.

7A 7AINT. DELIVERY ROOM - LATER

Dan is holding himself in the corner of the room, crying, asLiz gives birth

LIZGet out! Get out! Get out! Getout! Get out! Get out!

Baby cries fills the room. A couple of them.

DR. HUTTONDan?

DANIs it over?

DR. HUTTONYes. But we have a problem.

DANIs Liz alright?

Dan rushes over to his wife's side. Liz has passed out.

DR. HUTTONLiz will be fine. The problem is...

A NURSE hands Dan two babies in matching blankets.

(CONTINUED)

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7A CONTINUED: 7A

DR. HUTTON (CONT'D)She had twins.

(CONTINUED)

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7A CONTINUED: (2) 7A

DANCome on! You got to be kidding me!

The nurse hands Dr. Hutton a martini.

DR. HUTTONIt happens. So...which one will itbe?

Dan considers this.

DANThis is a hell-of-a situation to bein, Doctor Hutton. A hell-of-asituation.

He looks at one of the baby closely.

DAN (CONT'D)This one's got some dirt on it'sforehead.

DR. HUTTONIt'll wash off...

DANYeah, but still. Not a good start,is it, Doc?

DR. HUTTONWell, if it's any help they'reidentical girls. Hardly anynoticeable difference between thetwo.

Dan breathes a sigh of relief.

DANThey're both girls? That's great! We wanted a son. Already did thegirl thing and it didn't work out.

He passes off the babies to the nurse and puts Liz in awheelchair.

DAN (CONT'D)See ya in nine months!

7B 7BINT. HOSPITAL EMERGENCY ROOM (CORRIDOR) - DAY

Liz, in a wheelchair, doing her controlled breathing and Danpushing her, on the way to the delivery room.

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8 8OMITTED

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9 9OMITTED

10 10OMITTED

11 11INT. JOHNSON HOME (KITCHEN) - AFTERNOON

Dan sits at the table. Liz clears NEIL's plate off the table.

DAN(Doing "air quotes"with every word)

What do you mean "University" "might""not" "be" "right" "for" "you"?

NEIL (3 yrs old) shrugs. Dan shakes his head, behind himLIZ dumps the plate full of food in to the garbage.


Liz, in a wheelchair, doing her controlled breathing and Dan(with a mustache) pushing her, on the way to the deliveryroom.

13 13INT. JOHNSON HOME (MASTER BEDROOM) - NIGHT

The Johnsons have just finished conceiving. Liz rocks onher back, it's a method of increasing fertilization. Thedoor to the bathroom is open and we see Dan throwing up.

Dan sit at the edge of the bed, Liz continues herfertilization techniques.

LIZWhat's wrong?

DANEvery time we--you know-- I get sickto my stomach.

LIZYou don't think it's because--

The door to their room opens. It's their son, PETER (10Years Old)

PETERDad? Where did all my toys go? Myroom is empty.

DANPeter, go wait in your room, I'llcome see you in a minute.

(CONTINUED)

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13 CONTINUED: 13

Peter begins to leave.

(CONTINUED)

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13 CONTINUED: (2) 13

DAN (CONT'D)Hey Peter?

PETERYes, Daddy?

DANAre you sure you still want to takeballet?

PETERYes, Daddy.

Dan hangs his head and sighs.

DANGo back to your room, I'll be rightthere.


Liz, in a wheelchair, doing her controlled breathing and Danpushing her, on the way to the delivery room. We go intoslow motion as Liz looks up to Dan. They are both exhausted.

15 15INT. MISS TEEN-SENSUOUS PAGEANT (BACKSTAGE/STAGE) - EVENING

A TEENAGE GIRL, covered in egg and rotten fruit, runs off-stage in tears, past Dan and Liz (now in their 60's). Theyare giving a last minute pep-talk to their daughter, CASSIDY(16 years old, beautiful).

LIZThis is it, Cassidy.

DANJust go out there and say the answersexactly like we rehearsed.

LIZSimple!

DANSimple.

LIZIt's simple!

CASSIDYBut I don't WANT to be Miss TeenSensuous.

(CONTINUED)

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15 CONTINUED: 15

LIZWhat about my hopes? What about mydreams?

DANDon't upset your mother!

LIZListen to your father

DANListen to your mother.

CASSIDYI have cramps. I think I'm havingmy "special time"

LIZDon't you dare use your special timeto get out of this! I thank God forevery "special time" I have left!

DANThis is your mother and I's specialtime!

CASSIDYHuh?

DANNow if all else fails, what do youdo?

CASSIDYMake bedroom eyes at the judges...

LIZLike you want them to take you rightthen and there! On the stage. Infront of everyone.

Cassidy is called away by AN ASSISTANT

LIZ (CONT'D)You're pretty!

DANSexy! Your mother means sexy.

Dan gets a look from Liz

(CONTINUED)

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DAN (CONT'D)It's for her confidence. Women likehearing that kind of thing.

An MC (Greasy, Late 30's) greets Cassidy on stage. He dancesto some music while the crowd applauds. The music ends withthe MC grabbing Cassidy and bringing her in tight, likeRichard Dawson on Family Feud.

(CONTINUED)



THE MCCassidy Johnson, everyone! She smellsgreat! Our first question comesfrom the benevolent Father Keith.

FATHER KEITH (Late 50's) stands up from the judges table.FATHER KEITH

First, let me say what an amazingjob you did during the swimsuitcontest. My question is: what doyou want to be when you grow up?

LIZModel. Model. She knows this one.

CASSIDYI want to be a model!

Cassidy strikes a pose and the audience applauds.

DANNailed it!

LIZOne down, two to go!

Cassidy is being asked her second question by MAYOR CLEMENTS(Late 40's)

MAYOR CLEMENTS(drunk?)

Cassidy, it's been said that it takesa community to raise a child. Withthat in mind: what's the greatestcountry in the world?

There is an air of suspense in the room. Cassidy pauses.

The Johnsons hold each other.

LIZ(under her breath)

Cheat sheet. The cheat sheet.

Cassidy looks at her cheat sheet. It says "This Country".

(CONTINUED)



CASSIDY(Reading)

...This country?

Cassidy strikes her pose as the audience rejoices at such abrilliant answer. The Johnson's high-five.

DANFinally, we have a keeper!

THE MCOne question left and it's from...somewoman...

THE WOMAN (30's) stands from the judges tableTHE WOMAN

Cassidy, what are some of thechallenges facing young people today?

The crowd is perplexed by the question.

DANThat question doesn't make any sense?!

LIZShe's going to have to improv thisone!

THE MCAlright- kind of a retarded questionbut have at it, Cassidy.

CASSIDYChallenges?

She looks to her parents

CASSIDY (CONT'D)How about that from the day we'reborn, our parents are already savingup for college? And, God forbid ifwe decide we don't want to go. Imean, I know it's not cheap to havekids, but come on! We havepharmaceutical companies tellingeveryone if we can't sit still thenwe need to be drugged. Commercials,music and TV are telling us to besexy before we hit puberty.

(CONTINUED)



CASSIDY (CONT'D)Speaking of which, are we done here? I want to go home. I'm on my period!

Cassidy strikes her pose but this time to silence. TheJohnsons are flabbergasted.

Organ music ("Nearer My God to Thee") begins to play.

16 16INT. CHAPEL - DAY

The organ music continues as the camera DOLLYS down the islesof an nearly empty church.

We're lead to an urn.

Behind it, on cork-board, are pictures of Cassidy as shegrows up.

We DOLLY across a pew and arrive to Dan and Liz, dressednormally.

They look bored.

Liz checks her watch.

Dan sighs.

1INT. HOSPITAL EMERGENCY ROOM (CORRIDOR) - DAY2INT. DELIVERY ROOM - MOMENTS LATER3INT. JOHNSON HOME (KITCHEN) - MORNING4INT. JOHNSON HOME (LIVING ROOM) - CONTINUOUS5INT. "MY KIDS GOT TALENT" AUDITION WAITING ROOM - DAY - LATER5INT. "MY KIDS GOT TALENT" AUDITION WAITING ROOM - DAY - LATER5AOMITTED6INT. JOHNSON HOME (LIVING ROOM) - EVENING - LATER7INT. HOSPITAL EMERGENCY ROOM (CORRIDOR) - DAY7AINT. DELIVERY ROOM - LATER7BINT. HOSPITAL EMERGENCY ROOM (CORRIDOR) - DAY8OMITTED9OMITTED10OMITTED11INT. JOHNSON HOME (KITCHEN) - AFTERNOON12INT. HOSPITAL EMERGENCY ROOM (CORRIDOR) - DAY13INT. JOHNSON HOME (MASTER BEDROOM) - NIGHT14INT. HOSPITAL EMERGENCY ROOM (CORRIDOR) - DAY15INT. MISS TEEN-SENSUOUS PAGEANT (BACKSTAGE/STAGE) - EVENING16INT. CHAPEL - DAY

infanticide!

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