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Message from the Publisher, Viki Winterton:

Message from the Publisher, Viki Winterton:

Insights Magazine brings you leading experts in

coaching and empowerment, sharing their wisdom, vision, secrets of success and

personal defining moments of inspiration. We hope you will enjoy your new Insights.

In this Issue:

Marianna Lead, Ph.D., PCC, Author,

Founder of the Goal Imagery® Institute Discover how a holistic approach better meets the needs of both coaches and clients. Page 4

Jodi Orshan, Marriage and Family Therapist, Life Coach, Creator of The Parenting Pyramid Understand the process and benefits of proactive parenting. Page 10

Jean M. DiGiovanna, Founder of ThinkPeople® and Workshop University®

Find out what it means—and what it takes—to “have it all.” Page 14

Ben Croft, Leading Business and Executive Coach Marketer

Consider how strategic alliances can benefit your business. Page 20

Ginger London, Ordained Christian Minister, Author, Speaker, Life Coach

Discover how life coaching and Christian ministry can be bridged and what makes a great Christian life coach. Page 26

Janet Leathem, Board Certified Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner

Learn to live a balanced life and promote optimum H.E.A.L.T.H. Page 35

Azzah, Psychological Counselor, Intrinsic Observation Specialist

Explore who you are not in order to reveal who you are. Page 42

Bill Cumming, Executive Director of The Boothby Institute, The Coach‟s Coach How can loving kindness change the world? How can it change you? Page 48

Insights Expert Directory, Events and Resources Pages 56-59

Celebrating All the Experts Who Have Graced 2010 Insights Pages! Page 60 A special “thank you” to media personality, Stacey Chadwell.

-4-

is a PCC as well as the Founder and

Executive Director of the Goal

Imagery® Institute.

A Transformational Coach and Clinical

Hypnotherapist, she is a pioneer in

tapping the subconscious power of

emotions and imagination for achieving

individual and organizational goals. Dr.

Lead was the creator and host of Life

Coach TV, a popular primetime cable

TV show in New York City, has lectured

at the Smithsonian Institution, and has

also designed and taught numerous

courses at New York University.

I: In 2006, you were the first expert invited

to introduce coaching at the world-

renowned Smithsonian Institution. How has

the coaching industry changed since that

time?

ML: Overall, coaching has increased greatly

in awareness and acceptance by the

general public. It grew tremendously in its

popularity and use by individuals and

organizations. Internally, there is an

evolution towards becoming more

comfortable with dealing with our clients‟

feelings and accepting those feelings as

part of their coaching experience.

Until recently, in our zeal to separate

ourselves from psychology, we often drew a

line when a client would even mention a

negative feeling. It would raise the red flag

of crossing over into therapy, and as crazy

as it seems now, we weren‟t supposed to

ask our clients how they felt about

something. But that has gradually changed

over the last few years.

I: We do talk about how people feel now,

because it‟s relevant, as long as we‟re not

diving into the past, right?

ML: That‟s another conversation, but my

argument was, if you can talk about your

feelings to your barber or your hairdresser,

why wouldn‟t you mention that to your

coach? It‟s a significant part of the coaching

experience now.

I: As the popularity of coaching has

Marianna Lead,

Ph.D.

Photo by Beatrice Sniper

increased, so have the number of coaching schools. With so many coaching training programs

available, what lead you to create your own?

ML: Because I‟m such an advocate of dealing with feelings in the coaching relationship, I came up

with the concept of Emotionally Charged Coaching™. I actually felt it was necessary to take a much

broader, more holistic view of what needs to be taught in coaching school.

I felt that no one was answering the question of how to deal with emotions in the coaching

experience, and as a hypnotherapist, I was very comfortable dealing with emotions. I understood

their relationship to the subconscious.

There were a lot of schools of thought that developed in an attempt to integrate emotions into

coaching, including brain-based coaching, ontological coaching, and NLP coaching. Some of these

schools focused on the importance of thoughts, some focused on the importance of feelings, and

some focused on your sense of being and self-awareness.

I felt that all of these aspects were equally important and needed to be integrated to create a truly

well-rounded foundation that united mind, body, and soul—to create a program that was truly

holistic.

I: With coaching becoming more and more popular, why are so many coaches still struggling to find

clients? Is coaching still an attractive career choice?

ML: I definitely think it‟s still an extremely attractive career choice, and yes, it‟s possible to make

good money being a coach. What coaches need to understand is the concept of authentic marketing.

Regardless of what school of thought you are following or what training you have, there is something

very unique about you as a person and in terms of your interests, your professional experiences, and

your skills. All of that tied in with your coach training experience is what makes you unique.

As a coach, you need to take time—as much time as you need to take—to really understand who you

are in terms of your professional self-awareness, so that you don‟t sound like everyone else.

I: I agree. You want to have your authentic voice speaking.

ML: What‟s interesting here is that when you develop that authenticity, even people who are shy

about offering their services don‟t feel so shy anymore. When you become fully aware of your gifts,

you are able to naturally and authentically present yourself and what you are offering—instead of

“selling yourself,” which is a negative concept.

I: Do you also teach branding and marketing skills in your coach training program?

ML: Yes, and I teach it throughout the course from the very beginning. Most other schools that I

know of teach one class at the end of their training that is devoted to marketing. Usually it‟s a short

class, and that‟s that. Then, their coaches are basically on their own.

To really have an integrated sense of who you are that ties in with your training, your personality,

your interests, your professional skills—all of you—is a process that cannot be taught in three or four

hours at the end of your training.

That's why I start teaching authentic marketing from the very first lesson, and it‟s woven into all of

our coach training. Throughout the seven-month training, our students are also learning to evaluate

and re-evaluate who they are professionally and personally, so that when the course is over, they‟re

completely ready. They have no fear of offering their services and marketing themselves, and they

are ready to stand out from the crowd.

I: What is your coaching philosophy, and what is Goal Imagery?

-5- (Continued next page.)

ML: Goal Imagery is a way of helping organizations and individuals achieve their goals quicker

and easier by tapping the subconscious power of emotions and imagination in combination with

proven goal-setting strategy and project-management techniques.

Goal Imagery is a unique model that helps to synergize our conscious goals, our subconscious needs,

and our true authentic core of being. Essentially, Goal Imagery coaching combines traditional

coaching skills with subconscious and holistic techniques. As a result, Goal Imagery coaching helps

clients to set goals, make decisions, and take actions that are completely congruent with who they

truly are at the core and essence of their being.

We help people use their natural strengths, skills, resources, and creativity in order to achieve the life

they desire. We believe that the process of reaching a goal may be just as personally fulfilling and

meaningful as actually attaining the goal itself.

While traditional coaching tends to deal only with the present and the future, Goal Imagery coaching

takes into account the fact that most of our present and future challenges are based on our past

experiences, on our culture, and on the way we were brought up. Goal Imagery provides the tools to

re-evaluate, to readjust, and to reframe past experiences, to make achieving success and happiness

easier in the future.

I: Since your training deals with the subconscious and emotion, does that mean you cross over a

little bit into therapy?

ML: I hear that question a lot, because we, as coaches, are still not 100% confident and positive of

how we are different from psychology, per se. Having said that, I always tell my clients and explain to

my new students that you can be therapeutic without doing therapy.

I‟ll give you an example. Whether you take an acting class, a drawing class, or a dance class, it‟s

creative, it expands you, and it‟s extremely therapeutic—but it‟s not therapy. You can use therapeutic

techniques and create a therapeutic experience without going into actual therapy.

I: As someone who has played a major role in the development of an award-winning New York City

chapter of the International Coach Federation—and you served twice as the President—and as

someone who is very active on a global level, how important is it to be part of the coaching

community?

ML: I think it‟s extremely important. Coaching is a constantly evolving profession—we never stand

still. If you aren‟t involved in your coaching community, you‟re out of the loop.

For those people who have difficulty getting out of the house—you can utilize the Internet. You can

get on your computer, and if you belong to a large organization, you can constantly be a part of that

evolving community. For instance, I‟m very active with the International Coach Federation, and there

are newsletters, articles, research—there are constantly new resource materials available.

In addition, it‟s also very important to stay connected to the coaching community for the purpose of

networking and referring clients to one another, because there so many different slices of the market,

and every coach has their own niche, and more and more niches are surfacing every day.

For instance, as a transformational coach I deal mostly with life and career challenges. When

someone needs to understand their finances better, I would probably refer them to a coach with a

-6-

Marianna Lead, Ph.D. continued . . .

“Goal Imagery® is a unique model that helps to synergize our conscious goals, our subconscious needs, and our true authentic core of being . . .

We believe that the process of reaching a goal may be just as personally fulfilling and meaningful as actually attaining the goal itself.”

financial background. When you belong to a professional group, it‟s always easier to get clients, to

learn more, and to grow professionally, and even personally.

I: You donate your time to the ICF as a Credentialing Examination Assessor. What is the general

attitude now toward ICF accreditation, both for coaches and for people who are looking to hire one?

ML: That‟s a very good question. Since coaching is not a licensed profession, unfortunately, virtually

anyone can call themselves a coach; however, the public is becoming more educated and more

discriminating about who they‟re going to choose as their coach.

Things like training, past experiences, credentialing, and certifications become the guide for a new

client when they‟re choosing a coach. As a matter of fact, that question and that answer feeds into

marketing for coaching: What are your credentials? What do you have to offer? How are you going to

help your clients? Do you have a specific message that can relate your talents and skills?

I: Does being an ICF assessor help you in mentoring your students to gain their credentials?

ML: Of course. I have an insider‟s view, and since I‟ve been doing this for a few years now, I know

exactly how to train my students for the oral exam. It‟s not a secret that the exam is based on ICF

coaching core competencies. However, just to read them is one thing, but to live them as a coach

within a session is a very different thing. Again, it‟s a process, and this process is not taught

overnight.

I: For about five years you were the creator and executive producer of Life Coach TV, a popular

primetime cable show that helped the ICF in New York City greatly increase its membership along

with public awareness of coaching. It also served as a model for other ICF chapters in the United

States to create their own local shows. Where did you get the fantastic idea to create the show?

ML: When I initially joined the New York City ICF Board of

Directors—which was in 2003—there was very little

awareness of coaching outside of skill sets such as sports

coaching, acting coaching, and so on. There was a need to

introduce the idea of life coaching to the general public.

As a board director, I felt it was my responsibility to bring

all of my resources to the table. One of those resources was

my acting background. As a Screen Actors Guild (SAG)

professional actress and theater director, I knew about

production, how to conduct an effective interview, and how

to create an interesting and informative show that could

benefit not only the chapter, but the coaching industry as a

whole. The show dramatically helped in almost doubling our

ICF-NYC membership—and it provided an opportunity for

our coaches to connect with the general public and share

what they knew, how they coached, about their coaching

style, and about their coaching niche.

All of this really increased the awareness of coaching by the

general public, and specifically in New York City. When I left

the board, I trained some of the board directors to take

over, and it‟s still alive and kicking under a new name.

I: What a great testament to your work. What advice can you give someone trying to decide which

coaching school to choose, and what are some key questions to ask when interviewing a school?

ML: It‟s a very important decision, because it‟s anywhere from a six month to a two year

commitment. Deciding where you‟re going to be for that period of time and who you‟re going to learn

from is critical.

-7- (Continued next page.)

Photo by Beatrice Sniper

-8-

Key Issues to Consider When Selecting a Coaching School

Coaching Philosophy: Every school has its own approach and a

specific coaching philosophy. You need to be in sync with that

coaching philosophy if you want to become part of it. Usually this

information is clearly defined on the school‟s Web site.

Method of Training: Next you have to decide for yourself if you

want to be trained on the phone or in person, or using a

combination of these two methods. Questions to ask yourself

include, “What is my learning style?” “How do I learn?” and “What

makes learning easier?”

Budget vs. Costs: What is your budget for your training? When

you interview a school, you must ask what is included in their

quoted price, because I notice that many schools charge extra for

things like exams, certification, and learning materials. All of that adds up. Also, if you have to travel

somewhere, that also adds to your cost. There may even be an extra charge for some courses when

you want to get their full training and become certified. These costs are often not included in the

advertised price you see on the Web site. Your cost may sometimes even double from what you think

it will be. It‟s extremely important for you to understand what your complete and total cost is going

to be, and if that fits into your budget.

Instructors and Class Sizes: Consider who your teacher will be and how many people are going to

be in each class. In coach training, small classes are critical. Needless to say, the teacher‟s expertise

and even their teaching style is even more important. If possible, I would recommend that you

arrange a time to have a conversation with the actual person who teaches the course, not just with

the receptionist or with someone who handles sales for the training. If the school is large, this may

not be possible, but it‟s worth a try.

How the Size of the School Affects What You Receive: Nowadays, bigger is not necessarily

better. In fact the opposite may be true depending on a number of factors. Find out what the school

actually offers in terms of how big or how small the classes are, who is teaching each class, etc. Don‟t

look at the size of the school, but look at what you are going to get as a result of your training and

how you are going to be trained.

Alumni Support: What does a school offer in terms of follow up and support? Is there any marketing

help for their coaches? Are they going to consistently support you when you are done with your

training? I think these are important questions to keep in mind and to ask.

I: These are all very good points—especially about costs.

ML: When I opened up my coaching training course, of course, like every other business person, I

wanted to be competitive with other schools that offered similar services, so I was trying to

understand the pricing for a similar amount of hours and training. It was the most confusing research

because of that problem.

I would see someone advertising themselves for $3,500, but when I dug deeper, I found that if I

actually paid for the whole thing, it would cost me $8,000, which is a huge difference. It was very

difficult to understand who‟s charging what and why, and to discern what the bottom line is—what I

am going to spend at the end of this.

I decided to make it very easy to understand in my program and to make sure that all of my

marketing materials clarify that it‟s all inclusive, so people don‟t have to get a headache trying to

figure out how much it‟s going to cost them.

I: What made you choose this arena for your life‟s great work?

Marianna Lead, Ph.D. continued . . .

Photo by Beatrice Sniper

ML: Every friend, every colleague I had told me I was crazy. They were

telling me there were so many coaching schools, why would I want to add

one more?

I wasn‟t really sure in the very beginning, but what I always knew was that

I am a teacher at heart. Anything I know and am excited about, I want to

share with others and teach them how to do it even better than I can. That

was my initial impulse—just to teach what I learned and to share what I‟m

excited about. Then I said to myself, “Everybody is trying to tell me that

this is not a good idea, that there are so many coaching schools, and that

new coaching schools come along every day. Why would I want to have my

own? Maybe we don‟t need one more.”

But as I was looking around and saw that everyone had so many different

ideas about what a new coach should know, I really felt that we desperately

needed a more well-rounded education where you wouldn‟t have to chose

between the importance of thoughts versus feelings, or the importance of

being versus the importance of doing. I wanted to create a truly holistic

school that would unite all of the above—plus, things that I‟ve learned and

taught at NYU and other educational institutions, such as Positive

Psychology, Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP), and Emotional Intelligence.

I think when you finish any training, you are going to be attracted to some techniques more than

others, and you‟re going to want to learn more about this or that, and that‟s great. But I think that

you have to have an overview of all the tools that are effective.

I: What is your definition of success as it pertains to coaching schools or the coaching industry?

ML: I teach my own classes, which separates me from directors and founders of many schools. What

I think is important for any teacher is knowing that your students really get it by the end of the

course—I want to know that they graduate as capable coaches, that they can do what I do, that they

feel good about offering their services, and they feel confident they can produce results in their

clients. That‟s the true measure of success—seeing the results from your students. My students

define my success.

And, to answer the second half of your question about success in the coaching industry—it‟s all about

us helping our clients to reach their goals and dreams. Actually, that‟s how I came up with the name

for my institute. Goals represent consciousness since we consciously choose what we want to

accomplish. Imagery represents our feelings, the subconscious, and imagination. Therefore, Goal

Imagery represents the unity between conscious and subconscious—a truly holistic approach to

success.

In closing, I want to offer your readers a $500 scholarship to my Goal Imagery Coach Training

course. All they have to do is mention this interview. My Web site is www.goalimageryinstitute.com.

-9-

“I want to know that [my students]

graduate as capable coaches, that they

can do what I do, that they feel good

about offering their services, and they

feel confident they can produce results

in their clients. That’s the true

measure of success . . .

My students

define my success.”

is the creator of The Parenting Pyramid, a

practically perfect plan for successful parenting.

Through her program, The Parenting Plan,

parents can create a happy, successful, loving

family following three simple steps. Jodi is a

trained marriage and family therapist, life coach,

and parenting expert with over thirty years of

experience.

I: I have two little girls, so I‟m just dying to know,

what does a parenting coach do?

JO: A parenting coach works with parents, either

individually or as a group, to educate, mentor, and

support the parents to better their parenting skills and

the level of enjoyment associated with parenting. It

takes parents from where they are to where they really

want to be.

I: Why did you become a parenting coach?

JO: I‟ve worked with parents as an educator,

counselor, and therapist for a long time. I realized what

I ended up doing the most of was this incredible joint

venture between me and the parent to help them be

proud of what they were doing as a parent. With all of

my experience and talents it was really a perfect fit to

become a parent coach.

It is my passion to educate and mentor people as they

are molding the lives of their children.

I: What is The Parenting Plan?

JO: It is a plan I developed for successful parenting.

It‟s a model based on and very similar to a successful

business model really.

The Parenting Plan

Step 1: Develop a Vision Statement

Together we determine the parents‟ vision statement.

Each parent needs to understand and state the values

and goals that are most important to them for their

family. This is the foundation of the individualized

parenting plan.

Step 2: Assess Strengths and Weaknesses

Each parent has to understand their own parenting

style. We work with parents to determine what their

needs and talents are along with the needs and talents

of all of the individuals in the family. Just as with any

business, families need to assess everyone‟s strengths

and everyone‟s weaknesses so that they can create an

action plan accordingly.

-10-

Jodi Orshan

Step 3: Create an Action Plan

Within an action plan, we develop with parents the tools and strategies needed for success. Parents

get to learn and practice these strategies with coaching support.

I: Why is The Parenting Plan so successful?

JO: It‟s so successful because it is a plan. Most parents enter into parenthood with a limited set of

skills and knowledge and, truthfully, no real plan. A lot of parents say, “I love my kids with all my

heart, I never want to hurt them, and I want to protect them from harm.” That‟s it—there is no other

plan.

Most parents are reacting as they are faced with various parenting situations instead of being

proactive in their approach to parenting. Often the parents are going against their better judgment,

giving in, and indulging their children with stuff in an effort to keep them happy and to avoid conflict.

Sadly, this is all too common; the kids are running the family, and the family is running out of

control.

I: What is the Parenting Pyramid?

JO: The Parenting Pyramid is the shape and form of the action for your parenting plan. The Pyramid

clarifies the family values. It empowers parents to set rules and limits, and it gives the parent credit

for all the special extras that are within the foundation of the Pyramid, which is that bottom base that

everything is built on; it clarifies the rules for actions and behaviors—all the rules for safety.

The next level of the pyramid focuses on

behavior. It‟s built upon the first level. The rule

for this level states that you must be respectful of

others along with all other living things and the

land that we share with the world.

Finally, the top level involves the things we like to

have and do in life that result in happiness and

contentment—all of our joys and all of our

passions. These things are all placed in that little

upper box, and each level builds on the level

below it. So, all the activities and gifts and

possessions a child may want that are placed in

that top category must still all be safe for them

and for their age, must be safe for others, and

must be respectful to the people and things

around them.

I: What are the most common mistakes parents make when raising their families?

JO: One of the most common mistakes parents make is they slip their “parent‟s say” down and rely

on a philosophy that lets their kids say, “Give me, take me, buy me,” and hope that the children will

then appreciate their efforts and then learn to be loving, respectful, unselfish human beings.

Let‟s face it, in reality, the “Give me, take me, buy me” philosophy just reinforces raising immature,

selfish children. It is not a successful plan for parenting.

I: Not everyone is able to have a two-parent home, so is this plan also successful for a single parent?

-11- (Continued next page.)

“Most parents are reacting as they are faced with various parenting situations instead of being proactive in their approach to parenting . . . the

kids are running the family, and the family is running out of control.”

JO: This is gold for a single parent, because to have a plan really gives meat and a backbone to the

structure of the household. The Parenting Plan gives that extra needed support and strength to

parents who are doing this tough job all on their own.

I: Are there any other places you can apply the principles of The Parenting Plan?

JO: That‟s a very interesting question because, in reality, the principles of The Parenting Plan can be

applied throughout your whole life: at home, at work, or within a community organization.

It‟s always the most beneficial, in any situation, to follow these three steps:

1) Define your goals and values.

2) Determine people‟s strengths and weaknesses.

3) Develop a specific plan of action to accomplish your goals and to do so with integrity.

I: How long does it take to learn The Parenting Plan?

JO: It really all depends on your starting point. Some families are very clear on their goals and others

have never really given it any serious thought. Some families have a solid plan, but it may need some

tweaking, especially when a child enters a new stage in life or a new area of development. Other

families, have—let‟s be honest—less solid parenting skills. It always varies. Each family has its own

unique needs and its own unique set of skills.

-12-

Name continued . . . “It is best to

start early. That way parents get to be proactive in their parenting.

It is always harder to change behavior patterns midstream, but

it is never

impossible.”

Jodi Orshan continued . . .

I‟ll tell you this: the plan is an active, fast-paced, participatory process. In between weekly phone

sessions, there are homework assignments for the parents to work on. Your personal coach is always

available through e-mail for additional support.

I: Who can benefit from The Parenting Plan?

JO: I have worked with parents across the spectrum, from those with babies still in utero to those

with adult children. To be honest, it‟s best to start early. That way parents get to be proactive in their

parenting. They have a plan and they can go with it. It is always harder to change behavior patterns

midstream, but it‟s never impossible.

I: How do parents meet with you?

JO: We meet through phone contacts. Anyone can contact me through my Web site,

www.theparentingplan.com, or they can call the phone number that is on the Web site.

I actually have an introductory offer that allows parents the opportunity to speak with me or with one

of my coaches by phone or using Skype for twenty minutes for just $25. We offer this option so that

parents can see if they‟re comfortable with this whole setup and want to learn more about The

Parenting Plan.

I: What would be your definition of success in regards to parenting?

JO: Success in parenting is defined in two ways. First, you are successful if you‟re proud of the way

your children have turned out. That‟s a long-term goal, but you can live it in your day-to-day life.

The second way to determine parenting success is to assess the level of peace in your household. The

fact is, whenever you have a group of people living together, there are ups and downs, happiness and

clashes. But if the general feel in your home is respectful and peaceful, it adds a true love in your

coexistence—that‟s success by any definition.

I: What are three fundamental key ideas that you could share with our readers to help them today?

JO: First, define your goal. Know what kind of family you want to have and the values that will help

you reach that goal. Also, learn some good, solid parenting skills. Know how to set a limit and keep

that limit. Finally, remember that you are in this is for the long haul. Parenting is not a true/false

test, it‟s not multiple choice, it‟s not even a single-essay exam. It is a long novel, so just pace

yourself and enjoy the ride.

I: In what ways do you implement this in your life?

JO: I am very proud and happy to say that I‟ve raised four beautiful, brilliant, talented children on

my own. They were fun and adorable children, but as the challenges went on, it just kept getting

better and better. Even the teenage years—while I feel gray hair appeared on my head during that

time—were actually quite a fun ride, and I am reaping the rewards of my efforts because, with these

children now as adults and myself now as a new grandma, life is just beautiful.

-13-

www.coachjodiorshan.com

is the founder of Workshop University®. Jean is

a powerful facilitator, speaker, and certified

coach with a unique gift for helping people find

their voice, speak their truth, and achieve

beyond what they thought was possible. She

has over twenty years of experience in training,

consulting, and instructional design, and has

delivered hundreds of workshops and seminars

in business and life strategies to Fortune 500

companies, nonprofits and academia.

Jean launched ThinkPeople®, a corporate

coaching and training business in 1998. Years

later, she began running public workshops and

seminars and colleagues began requesting her

help with their own seminars. As a result,

Workshop University® was born in 2004.

Prior to founding ThinkPeople®, Jean served as

a Business Operations Manager for Cambridge

Technology Partners, Nordic Region of Europe.

She contributed to the company’s growth from

ninety to over four thousand employees in nine

years, and from one location to over thirty

worldwide.

Jean is a member of the National Speakers

Association and International Coach Federation,

has spoken both nationally and internationally

and has been published in Boston Magazine,

Mass High Tech, Trainers Warehouse and the

Boston Globe. She was named one of the Top 10

Coaches of Boston by Women's Business Boston

in 2007 and is a published co-author of Success

is a State of Mind alongside Mark Victor Hansen,

Les Brown, and Deepak Chopra. Outside of

work, Jean enjoys art, travel, and the outdoors.

She is an abstract artist, jewelry designer, and

an avid Latino dancer.

I: I want to start off by asking one of my favorite

questions: what is your definition of success?

JD: That‟s a great question. Many years ago I

thought of success as achievement—acquiring things,

achieving things—but I‟ve come to recognize over the

past decade that success isn't always about acquiring

things and achieving things; success is about making

a difference in the world—figuring out where your

talents and gifts match what the world needs and

following that.

I: What is the biggest misconception about success?

JD: I think the biggest misconception is that success

is a place to get to. We think of success and we think,

Jean M. DiGiovanna

-14-

As soon as I get that beautiful home, then I’ll be successful, or As soon as I get that promotion at

work, then I'll be happy and successful.

The reality is, success isn't a place to get to. Success is a way of being. To me, it‟s a state of mind.

It's about thinking about success as being possible in every single moment—we just have to look for

it.

It‟s about examining how we relate to success; it‟s not so much about what success is, but how we

relate to it. It‟s about asking ourselves, “Do I relate to success as something that I believe is far out

there, and when I accomplish this, that, and the other thing, then I‟ll get it? Or do I look at my life

and my daily actions and consider what I have been successful in today?” That‟s really, I believe, a

more powerful way to think about success.

I: What are some of the biggest challenges you‟ve experienced in achieving success?

JD: There are many, and I continue to be challenged with maintaining success. One thing I didn‟t

mention before is that success is really about how you measure it, not about how others measure it.

What do you deem as successful, and how are you achieving results according to that measurement?

There are three main challenges I have faced:

Challenge #1: Thinking that I have to do it all in my own. Being an entrepreneur, it's not

uncommon that we as solopreneurs, entrepreneurs, and small business owners feel the need to do it

ourselves.

Challenge #2: Trusting that there are plenty of resources to go around. It can be difficult to

trust that there are plenty of people to go around, plenty of business to be had, and plenty of money

and wealth and abundance to attract. So often we think from a place of scarcity, and that can stop us

in our tracks.

Challenge #3: Staying motivated and focused. As a solopreneur, it can be difficult to stay

motivated when we‟re sitting in our offices, working remotely, and feeling isolated. I think it‟s so

important to continue to stay connected to our colleagues, mentors, and those in the community so

that we don't feel that lack of motivation and action that is needed to really move things forward.

I: I agree with you. I liked the second challenge you mentioned especially, because a lot of people,

will be attracted to you and your business simply because it‟s who you are. It‟s not just about the

message, because our messages will likely be the same, especially if we‟re in the same field; it‟s who

you are that draws people to you.

I can't compete with you, because you and I are going to say it and do it differently, and people are

going to like you over me or vice versa for different reasons. Like you said, there are tons of people

out there you can help. It‟s not just one person that you and I need to fight over.

When we take on that scarcity mind-set, we lose out on opportunities to work together, to collaborate

with people in our field.

How did you overcome the challenges you were facing?

JD: A couple of different ways actually. It‟s kind of funny to me when I say, “I‟ve overcome that

challenge,” because I continue to face it every day or every month, and it‟s more about remembering

how to handle it.

-15- (Continued next page.)

“Success isn't a place to get to. Success is a way of being . . . It's about

thinking about success as being possible in every single moment— we just have to look for it.”

One of the ways I‟ve overcome the first challenge, the tendency to try to do it all on my own, is by

recognizing how much more fun and less stressful it is to actually work with other people—not only to

hire people to work with you, but also to seek out mentors.

The other thing that helped me overcome that challenge was learning

to let go. We‟re attached to our business ideas, our passions, and

sometimes we feel the need to control things. It's really when we stop

and allow ourselves to let go of that control that we can bring other

people in to help us. That‟s so critical to building a business, because I

don‟t believe it‟s possible to do it all on our own.

I: I agree. Not only that, but you get to brainstorm together and come

up with even better ideas.

JD: Exactly. You come up with things that you wouldn't have ever

thought of on your own. Looking at the second challenge—trusting that

there‟s plenty to go around—again, it‟s something I continue to

practice. There are always things that come into my field of influence

that trigger me, but it‟s in that moment when I actually say, “You know

what? I just have to reconnect with the premise and perspective that

there‟s plenty to go around,” that I can start to overcome this

challenge.

Coming from abundance also requires focusing on recognizing and

letting go of past beliefs about scarcity. Sometimes those beliefs are so

ingrained that we‟re not conscious of them. I‟ve done and continue to

do work on my own self-growth and development. I‟ve always had my

own coach, even though I'm a coach as well, and I continue to grow in

that area.

When it comes to the third challenge—staying motivated and focused—

a couple of things have really helped me. One is that there was one

year when I just felt like I was feeling too isolated, so I literally ended

up creating a mastermind group because that‟s what I wanted.

The reason I bring that up is because, if there‟s something you need in

your business that you‟re not getting, sometimes you have to just go

out and generate it yourself. Create mastermind groups. Find coaching

buddies that you can talk to every couple of weeks for the purpose of

helping each other move through challenges. Work within an

accountability partner whether it be a colleague, a friend, or a mentor.

Another thing that has always helped me to stay motivated and focused is to actually work outside of

my home office. I‟ll go to a cafe for several hours. I‟ll take two- to three-hour chunks of time because

what I find is—and again, it depends on if you‟re an extrovert or an introvert, and I am an extrovert—

so often I am more energized when I'm around other people. Even though I may not be talking to

someone at the café, it‟s still helping me to get my creative juices flowing by just being surrounded

by that energy.

I: Those are great suggestions. Once you‟ve achieved success, how do you keep your momentum

going and sustain it?

Three Tips for Maintaining Your Momentum

#1: Evaluate Your Inner Thought Processes

As soon as I become aware of something—for example, I may notice I‟m not focused, or my energy is

low—I have a choice in that moment. I can choose to focus on what I‟m not doing or what I haven't

-16-

Jean M. DiGiovanna continued . . .

“If there’s something you need in your

business that you’re not getting . . . go out and

generate it yourself.”

done yet, or I can choose to focus on what I have succeeded in today and on what I have

accomplished. What happens is that as soon as I move toward that place of acknowledging what‟s

working, I suddenly have more energy.

#2: Pay Attention to Your Level of Energy

I call this my Alive-O-Meter. How alive do I feel about taking something on, and if I‟m not actually

feeling that energized, what‟s in the way? What is it about that thing or maybe the person I‟m

supposed to work with? I really start to dig into that and get curious about it.

#3: Learn to Love Your Mistakes

I know it sounds kind of funny, but we have to acknowledge that we‟re human beings, we make

mistakes, and we fail. Those with the real power—and I would say these are the people who

succeed—are those who are able to look at themselves and their circumstances and ask, “How can I

grow? What did I learn? What am I going to do differently next time?”

I: How can you still be successful in the face of everything that‟s happening in the world?

JD: It is tough. There‟s so much negativity, there are so many tragedies, especially with so many

natural disasters occurring, and we, even as business owners, can't help but obviously wonder, What

can I do to help?

The way that I handle it is by continuing to send what I can send; whether it‟s giving my time or my

money towards something, I can send love and compassion to those areas of the world that are not

doing well.

When things don't go right for me, I begin to start noticing my

resistance. I have to ask myself, “What am I resisting here?” I have to

get curious about it. Again, if we can actually start to work with our

resistance or our energy that‟s low, we can actually move through it

faster.

It also helps me to remind myself, “This too shall pass.” I have to

remember that this—whatever it is—is not the end-all, be-all. Yes, the

economy may be challenging at times, but I need to assess how I can

continue to tap into my gifts and talents and provide the world with

what I‟m really meant to be doing.

I: Is it truly possible to have it all?

JD: I love that question. I get that a lot. I used to do a lot more life

coaching, but now I‟m doing more business coaching. I would have

clients who would ask me that. I believe that “having it all” is truly a

matter of perception. Sadly, many of us really don‟t believe it‟s possible

to have it all. Can I have that great job and the wonderful relationship

and the beautiful home and the great family? Can I have all of it?

When we don‟t think it‟s possible, then we don‟t ever attract that caliber of “having it all” into our

lives.

Having it all really requires a shift in our thinking, and this shift involves asking ourselves, “How much

do I deserve? Do I deserve to have it all? Am I going to allow all of the success and abundance and

magnificence in my life? Will I allow it?

I always challenge people to explore what they are not allowing, where are they getting stopped, so

that they can open that up more and move through that. Of course, practicing patience is very much

a requirement for this, and being patient is not always easy. But it definitely has helped me to remind

myself that I do deserve to have it all. It may not all happen immediately, but I‟m going to go take

the actions and the steps that are required to have what I really want in my work and in my life.

-17- (Continued next page.)

I: Sometimes it seems like what we perceive as “having it all” is not really what is intended for us, or

is not what would honestly fulfill us in the long run. Sometimes life takes you where you really need

to be and fulfills that for you, and then you think, Oh! I would have never considered that was what I

needed, but it’s better than I ever expected.

JD: What you just said sparked a thought in my mind that so often we get attached to some future

plan of what we‟re looking to achieve, and we miss out on those opportunities and those interesting

paths like you mentioned that are there and show up, and we wouldn‟t have even recognized them if

we weren‟t open to them.

I: Exactly. You mentioned earlier that part of what success means to you is making a difference.

What can our readers do to make a difference when working at home?

JD: One of the things that I encourage people to take on when they want to really make a difference

is to actually try on a new perspective. This new perspective involves asking yourself, “How can I

make the person in front of me successful? How can I make my wife successful or my husband

successful? How can I make my boss successful? How can I make my mentor successful or my

business partner successful?”

What I truly believe is that when we take on that perspective, we

actually work and live that way of thinking. When we consider

how to make the other person successful, we will automatically

make a difference, because what happens is, as soon as you think

about the other person and how you could impact their life or

make life better for them, immediately your attention goes away

from you and over to them, and there‟s no way that something

positive can't happen out of that.

It‟s a fun challenge to ask my clients to try that perspective at

work and then also when they get home with their family, and see

what shifts in their life.

I: That‟s a great idea. What have been your greatest lessons

learned that you can share with our readers today for achieving

success?

JD: There are several, and I‟m happy to share some.

Lessons for Success

1) Just be yourself. This is one of the biggest lessons that I

learned over a decade ago. Don‟t pretend to be someone else

because, in the end, yourself will always catch up with you.

We go out into the world to become successful, but what can

often happen is that we get caught up with what is supposed to

happen or what we should be doing or what other people think we

ought to be doing. In the end, we‟re not actually aligning our true

-18-

Jean M. DiGiovanna continued . . .

“We go out into the world to become successful, but what can often happen is that we get caught up with what is supposed to happen or what we should be doing or

what other people think we ought to be doing . . . The world needs to hear you and who you are, and that’s what people really want. It’s a lot easier than

trying to be somebody else.”

self with our core values, and our soul kind of gets depleted and zapped. Our energy gets zapped,

and then we wonder why.

The world needs to hear you and who you are; that‟s what people really want. It‟s a lot easier than

trying to be somebody else.

2) Life is too short to feel drained. Notice who or what is draining energy

from you, and begin to look at how to shift that. Start doing what lights you up

and brings you passion, because when you‟re in that state, you‟re going to

attract so much success in your life.

3) If you don’t know where you’re going, any road actually will not get

you there. It‟s so important to set a direction, to set a clear intention of what

you want to achieve in the next month or in the next three months. Let that be

your compass. Let that be the stake in the ground that says, “This is what I

want.” Think about the future and the results you want to produce, and by doing

that, you‟re actually propelling it toward you.

4) Don’t go it alone. This is something I‟m continuing to get better at and am

learning so much about. I grew up learning to be independent and take care of myself, a woman in

the professional world, and I came to realize that I don‟t have to do it all on my own, and I don‟t

actually want to. I encourage people to realize this too.

5) Have fun. Laugh, see the humor in life, because life is too short to be intense and to take

everything so seriously. Simply follow your passion in your work and in your life.

I: Those are all wonderful points. I especially liked what you mentioned about authenticity. How can

someone hold up a mask constantly? It would be so draining to constantly have to be that person

that you‟ve created rather than just being yourself—instead you can just be.

How can our readers find more information or how can they get in touch with you?

JD: My current business is called www.workshopuniversity.com. I help solopreneurs package their

expertise into workshops and webinars so they can reach a larger audience.

The other place to look is Launch Your First Webinar at www.launchyourfirstwebinar.com. This is

something I‟ve been focusing on over the course of the past year. I help people get their message out

through the use of webinars. Those two Web sites are great places to find me and to learn more.

-19-

“Notice what or who is draining

energy from you, and begin to look

at how to shift that. Start doing

what lights you up and brings you

passion.”

www.workshopuniversity.com

is widely recognized as one of the world’s leading

business and executive coach marketers, having

worked with thousands of coaches around the world.

Since graduating with an honors degree in marketing

from one of the UK’s leading universities, Ben has

worked solely on marketing for coaches around the

world, living and consulting in the UK, Australia, New

York, and Buenos Aires. He has lead marketing

campaigns for coaches that have lead to multiple

millions of dollars in sales, his one event series alone

seeing 6,700 business owners registered to attend

with a marketing budget under $10,000.

Ben’s specific area of expertise lies with seminars,

event webinars, workshop marketing for coaches,

strategic alliance marketing for coaches, and social

media marketing for coaches, for which he has

created what is now the world’s leading course for

business and executive coaches.

Ben is very much a practical marketer in that his

strategies, tactics, and action plans are focused

toward achieving the harder results of marketing,

therefore generating high-quality leads that have a

high propensity to turn into coaching clients.

I: What is your story? You‟re twenty-eight years old and you

currently live in Buenos Aires and, as I understand, you have

spent at least four months in five continents over the past

three years. How did you come to all this?

BC: I guess I‟m in a fairly fortunate position in that straight

away from University I went into specializing in business

coach marketing, and as a result of that, it‟s taken me all

around the world.

It‟s an industry that is obviously fairly new, and there are

very few people in the world who have become specialist

business coach marketers, and as such, this has been

something I‟ve been in very high demand for.

I absolutely loved living in Australia. We started off traveling

through many countries in Africa, leading ourselves to the

Middle East, Dubai, and then through to India and Southeast

Asia and into Australia. Then we came back around to North

America, and now we‟re in South America.

We‟ve been very fortunate in that time to meet up and form

strategic alliances with many of the largest coaching

organizations as we passed through. For example, in Texas,

we stopped by the ICF conference last year, and we‟ve been

able to meet up with lots of new clients and prospects.

We‟ve gotten to a point now where, with our own

consultancy, we‟re almost at capacity, and that, I guess, is

Ben Croft

-20-

why we‟ve come to the point where we‟re able to put on the event that we‟ve got planned for July,

which is the World Business and Executive Coach Summit.

I: How did you get into coach marketing?

BC: It‟s actually quite interesting. I got into coach marketing when I bumped into a gentleman at a

bar one time and got to speaking to him about marketing. He asked, “What have you been doing?” I

said, “I‟ve just graduated from University. I‟m in that place now where I‟m looking for a job.”

He said, “That‟s interesting. What did you study?” I said, “Marketing.”

He said, “Oh, that‟s very interesting.” I asked, “Why is that?”

He said, “I own the largest marketing consultancy in the city.” I said, “Oh wow, that‟s nice—have you

got any jobs?”

He said, “No, I don‟t have any jobs at the moment; however, I know everyone in the industry, and

everyone‟s always coming to me asking if I know of someone in marketing, and I say that I‟m sure I‟ll

be able to find someone for them.”

We had a couple of drinks together, and I said goodbye and gave him my contact details. The next

day I was at a graduate recruitment fair, and I got a call from the same guy, and he said, “Hey, Ben,

I got you an interview.”

That interview was with a fairly well-known company, Action Coach, which is the largest business

coaching company in the world.

As a result of this gentleman‟s personal recommendation, I ended up getting a job and went straight

away into the deep end working for thirty business coaches. From there, I grew my career,

specializing in business executive coach marketing.

I: What is your biggest achievement in your marketing career?

BC: I put on a series of events in Australia with a very limited budget. I lead the marketing for it, and

we ended up getting 6,700 business owners to attend, which at the time I believe was one of the

largest business coaching events ever in the world.

Also, having my first book published this year, Social Media for Coaches, was a great achievement for

me. I had the foreword written by Brian Tracy. That was pretty exciting.

I think what is going to be my biggest and most exciting achievement will be when we launch the

event coming up in July, which will be the first personal event I‟ve run myself.

I: Social media has been a big buzz for some time. You have the world‟s leading course on social

media marketing and business coaches. What would you say should be the starting point when

looking to integrate social media into a marketing plan?

BC: Most people are using social media to a certain level, even if they‟re just dabbling in it. Perhaps

they‟ve set up a profile and they‟re looking into it and they don‟t know what to do. That‟s the case for

the majority of people. It has only been in the past year or two that people have started to realize

that this is a mainstream tool for communication.

The biggest problem for most coaches specifically is that they don‟t have a plan. They may have a

marketing plan, and contained within that marketing plan is social media, and they‟re saying, “We

need to find out about social media. We need to do something with social media.”

What they don‟t do is they don‟t put together a social media marketing plan. In its simplest form, all

that plan requires is for somebody to do a situation analysis starting with where you are now—how

-21- (Continued next page.)

many friends you have, how many

followers you get, how many leads you‟re

receiving currently, where your current

situation is now—and then to define your

objectives. You may not be exactly

where you want to be and you might be

saying, “We‟re here, and we‟d like to get

this point now.”

Once you‟ve identified those two points—

where you are and where you want to

be—you can then start selecting your

strategy, your tactics, and your actions

to make sure that the actions and

strategies you‟re going to be taking are

going to contribute to those goals.

My strategies include setting objectives,

measuring your results, and also

selecting a starting point, but very few individuals I have worked with actually have a social media

marketing plan in place. We‟ve worked with thousands of coaches in around the world, and I think

I‟ve come across two so far who had a plan in place. I would say that would certainly be the starting

point.

Just get that plan in place because then you can measure and identify your progress. You can

obviously then break that down into which of the strategies and tactics are working the best for you.

It‟s important to pinpoint the best things that you are doing that are getting the greatest results.

Where many coaches are going wrong is that they‟re trying to do everything, and they don‟t need to

do everything. They only need to do a few things with social media to get some fantastic results.

I: I‟m on your business and executive coaching group on LinkedIn, and I know that you give out

wonderful information. You talk about how to be more strategic, and you offer a ton of information

not only there but on your blog as well. I highly recommend anyone to sign up for your groups,

because you know what you are talking about. And you‟re right, a lot of people don‟t have a plan, and

you know how to streamline it for them.

We want to ensure our readers take away as much practical advice as possible from our articles. That

being said, what can you say are the top three marketing strategies that should be integrated into

everyone‟s marketing plans?

BC: I‟m a firm believer and a strong advocate of the fact that good marketing in the 21st Century

doesn‟t require an epic budget. You don‟t need a big budget, and I say that hesitantly, because when

I say “big budget,” you do need a big budget—you just don‟t need a big budget of financial resources,

cash in the bank, or investments.

What you do need is time. Good marketing is all about time, but if you invest your time correctly, you

don‟t even need to be investing so much time that it‟s overwhelming you.

With that in mind, here are three strategies that I would say every coach should be using. And when I

say every coach, I mean every coach.

-22-

Ben Croft continued . . .

“Good marketing in the 21st Century doesn’t require an epic budget . . . You don’t need a big budget of financial resources, cash in the bank, or

investments. What you do need is time. Good marketing is all about time.”

Three Marketing Strategies Every Coach Should Be Using

#1: Referrals

Referrals will be always be your best strategy. Paul Simister conducted a recent study and published

a report along with it. It‟s a brilliant study on coaching and the marketing benchmark. I‟m not

associated with him in any way, but I have to say that it was a fantastic study.

His study showed that a large majority of coaching leads come through referrals. With that in mind,

how many coaches have a really strictly defined referral process in place? Very few. So it‟s very

important to have a referral strategy in place. You can Google one. You can read books about it. It‟s

going to be your number one strategy, so you need to be really good at it.

Once you have a referral strategy in place, you can just keep implanting it, making it easy for people

to refer other people to you, and making sure they know exactly what to do and the benefits of doing

so. It doesn‟t necessarily mean you‟re going to be giving them some kind of commission, it can just

simply be that they get acknowledgement for their referrals.

#2: Strategic Alliances

I‟ll talk more about strategic alliances a little bit later, but they‟re the most leveraged marketing you

can do. Find someone with the same target market as you and ask them to send a message out to

their database for you in return for a value-added piece. Build the relationship up with them to a

point where they are comfortable enough to do that. This strategy is going to be some of the best

marketing you can do.

You can spend weeks, months, or years going after a big database, or you can find someone who

already has a database created. Of course, when they market to that database for you, it‟s going to

be a lot more effective than if you‟re marketing to their database yourself saying, “Hey, I‟m great!”

versus them saying, “Hey, this guy is great!”

#3: Social Media

I‟ve already talked about this strategy, and it is a given in this list.

I: One of the biggest challenges for those in the coaching and personal development industry is

finding prospects who have a high propensity to convert to clients. Where is the best place to find

targeted prospects?

BC: Again, one of the key strategies I work with my clients on is strategic alliances. You have to

define who exactly your target market is. Really, really define who it is: How old are they? What do

they do? You also have to find those organizations out there that have a very close, tight-knit fit with

exactly who your target market is. Then simply go and build relationships with those organizations,

and they will provide you with access to that target market.

In terms of social media, there are some

fantastic tools you can use. You can use things

like Facebook Social Ads, Twellow, and Tweet

Adder. These are fantastic ways to find

prospects and build up your network.

But if you‟re looking to get direct access, really

great conversion rates, and a high level of

leads coming through, the best way to do that

is through strategic alliances.

I: What is the best way to differentiate yourself

from the competition?

BC: The best way to differentiate yourself from

competition would be to create a niche for

-23- (Continued next page.)

yourself and decide on a niche market. A niche could be a group of people, or it can be a specific

product that you‟re offering. There‟s a lot of buzz around this, and the point that needs to be made is

that the more defined you are in who you are targeting, the more relevant you can be.

For example, when you‟re marketing as a business coach, you may decide to write a blog about

business growth tips and tips for small business owners. For example, your blog title might be “Seven

Strategies to Grow Your Small Business.”

When you write a blog called “Seven Strategies to Grow Your Small Business,” all of a sudden, you

are in competition with every other blogger out there, including people like Seth Godin, Jay Conrad

Levinson, Brian Tracy, and all of the big names. If you target it down a lot more and create a point of

differentiation and call it “How to Grow Your Toronto-Based Professional Services Business,” all of a

sudden, if you‟re a Toronto-based professional services small business—and you can narrow it down

even more than that such as “How To Grow Your Toronto-Based Small Business Law Firm”—

immediately you‟ve got relevancy.

If you are in that target market and you‟re one of those people, which is probably only 200 to maybe

500 people in the world, you‟re going to read that. You‟ll think, “Wow! This is for me! I am a Toronto-

based law firm owner. I‟m going to read this.”

Whereas if it‟s small business advice on how to

grow your business, there are millions of blogs on

that. That change alone is going to give a great

point of differentiation just because you‟ve claimed

that niche. You can almost become Toronto‟s

leading specialist for how to grow a Toronto-based

professional services company. There are probably

not many people doing it—maybe one or two—there

may be nobody. You can become Toronto‟s number

one business coach for professional service

companies, and that gives you a massive point of

differentiation and is going to draw a lot of

attention to yourself.

I: There‟s a lot of talk these days about the

importance of defining standards in coaching—what

are your thoughts on this?

BC: Myself and some of the leading marketers in coach marketing are all eagerly watching what‟s

happening as coaching almost commoditizes. What I mean by that is that more and more people are

going to start seeing defined standards in coaching.

Right now, some people say that coaching has almost been a Wild West of standards in terms of

people coming up with accrediting bodies. There are some big companies out there doing some

fantastic things. People at ICF are doing some great things by bringing in standards, certifications,

and regulations in an industry that needs regulating.

As that happens, there will become expectations. When you get an accountant, for example, you get

an accountant based on their tenure, their experience—it‟s almost like a commodity. Whereas with

coaching, it‟s so varied, and because of that, as it moves toward the point where people come to

expect that a coach is a coach is a coach, they start looking for points of differentiation to make their

decision. Say you‟ve got three coaches lined up in front of you. If one has something about them that

is specialized in what it is that you do, you‟re more likely to go with that coach.

Still, as we stand, there‟s far more demand than there are coaches, so we haven't quite gotten to

that point, but as we move toward that in the next ten to fifteen years, we‟re going to see that

increasing.

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Ben Croft continued . . .

-25-

Going back to what we were talking about earlier, the importance of niche is so much more important

in regards to this, and it becomes so much easier to market your coaching business by having a

defined niche.

I: Your company is called Modern Methods Marketing. What is Modern Marketing in your eyes?

BC: For me, Modern Marketing is all about relationships. It‟s taking the interruption out of marketing.

Once upon a time, your options to market included things like telemarketing, advertising in the

newspaper, sending newsletters, and doing direct mail, all of which interrupted people‟s daily

patterns. Now it‟s all about relationships and conversations. Instead of saying, “Hey, I‟ve got this,

would you like to buy it?” now it‟s “Hey, how are you? Tell me a little bit about yourself. Okay. . . tell

me about what you‟re looking for.”

Then once I know what you‟re looking for, I‟m going to go away and produce what you‟re looking for,

and then I‟m going to come back and offer it to you based on what you‟ve asked for. When you come

back and offer what a potential client has asked for, they are more likely to say yes, and it also

means that you‟re in a relationship. You‟re in communication. You‟re finding out specifically what it is

they need and you‟re delivering it, versus interrupting them and trying to get their attention at a

point when they aren‟t ready to buy from you. It‟s a lot more expensive, quite frankly, and now, if

you‟re doing it right, marketing is so much of a lower cost than it has ever been.

That‟s Modern Marketing. It‟s all about relationships. It‟s all about building up communications

between people and genuinely understanding their needs rather than having to guess and hopefully

pigeonhole people into what you think they need; It‟s about finding out what they actually need.

I: What do you think the number one priority should be for a business coach in terms of marketing?

BC: The number one thing that a business coach needs to do in terms of marketing is to work out

exactly where they are positioned in the marketplace. What is it that they are actually selling? What

is their positioning within the market? They don‟t want to just become lost in the crowd.

You‟ve got to realize that prospects who would consider bringing on a coach, most of the time, are

not out there actively looking for a coach. People don‟t go searching for coaches. If you actually look

at the number of search terms used around coaching, it‟s very low.

What you‟ll find is that people are introduced to coaching, and they start forming a relationship with

the coach. They begin to realize how coaching could benefit them. The most important thing for a

coach to do is to start building relationships. Start finding those people who have a high propensity to

convert to client, start building a relationship, and go from there.

www.tinyurl.com/wbecs

is an ordained Christian minister, teacher,

author, speaker, and life coach. She is the

founder of Ginger London Ministries in Baton

Rouge, Louisiana.

Ginger is the author of four study manuals: The

Making of a Spiritual Diamond; Understanding

Your Calling; Discerning Your Boaz for the

Single Woman; and Friends, Foes, and Fellow

Christians. She is a writing contributor of eight

topical articles and biblical profiles for the

nationally acclaimed Women of Color Study

Bible released in January 2000, and now

released Aspire: The New Women of Color Study

Bible.

Ginger is the owner of and life coach for

Essentials for Life, a coaching ministry

discussing the issues of life for victorious living,

which includes conferences, individual and

group coaching, teleseminars, and ministry

training essential for helping individuals and

groups discover their strengths and abilities to

live successful lives and to experience work and

career success.

Ginger has preached and taught both nationally

and internationally. She hosted the television

teaching ministry, “The Ginger London

Ministry,” which aired for three and half years

on Cox Cable Faith Net Channel in Baton Rouge,

Louisiana and surrounding parishes. She has

been an instructor for nationally acclaimed

Christian leadership conferences and has over

twenty years of experience in helping people

through ministry.

I: How did you get started in Christian ministry?

GL: It was an exciting journey for me. I became

saved through Jesus Christ when I was a young girl,

but it wasn‟t until I graduated from college after

completing my undergraduate degree that I started

looking for something exciting to do with my life.

I worked in accounting for several years, and then I

moved to New Orleans, Louisiana to take a job with a

local CPA firm. That was during the 1980s. During my

employment there, I realized that although

accounting was a good profession, it just wasn‟t

exciting enough for me. My clients in the CPA firm

were mom and pop clients who would bring in their

receipts in a brown paper bag every month.

After working there for some time, I discovered that I

wanted to do something more exciting. Apparently,

Ginger London

-26-

not only did I have that feeling, but I guess the CPA firm that I was working for was thinking the

same thing, because one day they called me in and asked, “Do you like your job?” Of course when

you‟re asked that question you‟re going to say yes, but deep down, my answer was really no. I think

they sensed that I was unmotivated by the job, and so at some point they actually fired me. They

said, “This is not for you. You have to find what is for you.”

I began to search, and I worked at a Vo-Tech school in Chalmette, Louisiana. At that Vo-Tech school

was a woman who would come by my desk, and she would say, “There is something more that God

wants to do with your life.”

At that time, I wasn‟t as spiritually mature as I am now, and I didn‟t really understand what she

meant by what she was saying. I thought it was just something good.

As we were preparing to close the year out and move into a new year, she came by and said, “Don‟t

let this year end and the New Year begin without rededicating your life to Christ. God has big plans

for your life. You have to get connected to God.”

Again, I thought she was saying something nice. When the New Year came, I was at church on that

Sunday. The pastor finished his sermon and was getting ready to do the altar call for prayer, and he

said, “Wait. I want to say this. God is saying to someone in here not to let the old year end and the

New Year begin without rededicating your life. There is something big that He wants to do with your

life.”

I could have fainted because they were almost the exact words that the woman had used. I

hesitated. I looked down the aisle and I thought, That’s the longest walk in history! I finally got up

out of my seat and walked down the aisle, and when I reached the front and sat in one of the chairs

there, I looked over to my right and there was an older lady sitting up front. There was a beautiful

glow on her. She looked at me and she nodded, and she moved her lips and said, “Yes, it‟s you.”

That‟s where my journey in Christian ministry began, because I became actively involved in that

church. It was through my involvement there that I discovered that I really enjoy helping people. I

got involved in the counseling ministry, the recovery ministry, and the new members ministry of the

church.

Even with all of that, there was still some searching going on. I went through cosmetology school,

and it was okay for a while; I discovered that I was able to be creative when I was studying

cosmetology, but there was still something more.

While I was involved in the church ministries, the pastor was teaching on the subject of fasting and

prayer. One of the elders in the church said, “You should go on a seven-day fast and seek God‟s

purpose for your life.”

I literally fasted and prayed for seven days with only water and studying God‟s Word. I studied all of

the Scriptures that were related to purpose, gifts, being predestined—all of those things, and after

those seven days of fasting and prayer, I knew exactly what I was supposed to do.

I went to the Pastor of the church and told him what I had discovered, and he surprisingly said to me,

“I‟ve been waiting for you to come to me to let me know.”

From that moment on, it was full speed ahead for me. I started teaching at the church. People were

really blessed by it, and I am still humbled by it. I kept thinking, Wow! Are they clapping for me?

Then I started putting on events and people actually started coming.

From there I went to Oral Roberts University in Tulsa, Oklahoma for my graduate studies in theology.

It was there that I was able to harness all of my gifts and abilities and learn how to present them,

how to package them, and how to use them to help other people live better. It was a shaping and

defining period of time for me, and it helped me to shape my gifts and talents.

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When I came back home from graduate school in the mid 1990s, I started doing conferences. I lead

seminars and workshops. People starting coming, wanting to know if I coached people. I had never

heard of coaching, so I had to start doing some research. That‟s how I got actively involved in

ministry and, for me, ministry is exciting, because the word actually means to serve people.

I: What initially happened that made you aware of life coaching?

GL: It all started when people began coming to me and

asking me if I coached. Coaching wasn‟t a term that was

used years ago in the Christian ministry realm. It was

known then as mentoring. Most people would ask, “Do you

mentor people for ministry?” or “Do you mentor people for

spiritual growth?”

People started coming and asking me if I coached people,

but I didn‟t really know what coaching was. I said, “I‟m

really not sure what coaching is. Let me find out what it is.”

I went on to say, “I do mentor people.”

When I started researching and learning a little bit more

about life coaching, I understood what they were asking

me. They were asking me if I could coach them in getting

their business started or in discovering what their gifts

were. They also wanted me to in work with them to see if

their idea was plausible or if they could actually succeed at

what they had in mind.

In my mind, that was mentoring, but I guess they had some experience with coaching, and so that‟s

how I got interested in life coaching. From there, I started researching to learn more about life

coaching. By that time, there were some Christian authors who were putting out books about

Christian coaching which helped me tremendously. I thought, Great! There’s someone else in the

body of Christ that already knows what this is. I started studying what life coaching is all about from

the Christian perspective.

I: How is helping people defining how you are now doing your life‟s work?

GL: It made me aware that some people need help with life problems, and some people need help

with life purpose. It helped me to avoid placing everyone in one box. When you study counseling—

and coaching is not part of the curriculum—you have a mind-set that people come to you with an

issue that they want to work on.

People started coming who didn‟t have issues; they had ideas. The more I learned about coaching, I

was able to actually separate that or compartmentalize it in my mind: There are some people who

have life problems that they want to work on, and that‟s counseling. Then there are those who have

life purpose issues, or life purpose agendas that they want help with, and that‟s more appropriate for

coaching.

It helped me to redefine my perspective of how I was seeing people, which was great for me. Not

that I thought that everyone had problems, but sometimes when a person is trained in counseling,

when they sit down, they automatically zero in in on the counseling mode and it is easy to want to try

to fix everything, or to try to figure out what the issue is and where it‟s coming from. With life

coaching, it‟s just an exciting time. It‟s all about the other person‟s agenda, and you‟re just excited to

share with them as they discover what that agenda is or realize that they have more strength than

they thought they had and more resources than they may have realized.

I: How does Christian life coaching help someone?

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Ginger London continued . . .

GL: Christian life coaching is an intentional focus on designing life as God intended it to be for that

particular person. It‟s coaching from a godly perspective.

Christian Coaching is about . . .

Discovering Who You Are in Christ

Most of the time—both for Christians and for those who are not Christians—people are trying to

discover who they are. The difference is that Christian coaching helps people to discover who they are

in Christ. They‟re asking, “What does the Bible say about me being successful? What does the Bible

say about who I am and how God created me?”

Demolishing Negative Mind-Sets

Christian coaching helps people to demolish mind-sets that may be holding them back. There are

numerous Scriptures in the Bible that talk about having a right mind and what needs to be done to

take on the mind to be successful and to be victorious. A lot of times people are bogged down in their

minds with negative, self-defeating thoughts. Christian life coaching helps people to demolish those

mind-sets.

Empowering and Equipping

Christian coaching empowers and equips people to be all they can be or all that God has created

them to be. There‟s an interesting Scripture in the Bible: Jeremiah 29:11 says, “„For I know the plans

I have for you,‟ said the Lord. „Plans for your welfare and not for evil, to give you a hope and a

future.‟” I think that sums up exactly what Christian life coaching does. It helps people to understand

that they have a hope and they have a future.

You are equipped to do everything you were intended to do, and if not, you have the ability to

become equipped to be all that you can be in Christ.

I: A lot of us know what life purpose means when we‟re talking about

life coaching in general, but what does life purpose mean in

Christianity?

GL: In Christianity, life purpose means finding out who God created you

to be and what God‟s plans are for your life. Christians realize that as it

relates to living we don‟t have our own agenda. We don‟t get to pick our

own passions and desires per se or schedule our own agenda, but

instead we seek God to find out which direction He wants us to go in

our lives and what is it that He has assigned us to do.

As a Christian, once I realize that, I can begin to equip and prepare

myself to walk in those steps and to fulfill what God has purposed for

my life. Until I do that, my life is somewhat unfulfilled, because I know

that I‟m created in God‟s image, and that means that I have the ability

to think, to be successful, and to imagine. I have gifts, abilities, and

talents, and I can pull all of that together and begin to discover exactly

what it is I am called to. Am I called to be a business owner? Is it my

calling to be a teacher? Am I called to be a housewife? Am I called to be

a life coach? I have to start by asking, “What is it that God has

purposed for my life, and how do I live that out according to Biblical

principles?”

Questions for Helping You Understand Your Life Purpose:

#1: How am I created? We are created in the image of God.

#2: How do I find out what my divine assignment is, or my calling, as some people would

say? The most important way to begin the journey of finding your purpose or assignment is with

clarity—believing that your life has purpose. In addition, it means spending time getting to know

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yourself and paying attention to the intricate and important

details and experiences of your life. The more you know about

yourself, the easier it will be to discover your assignment or

purpose. Ask yourself the question, "Who Am I?" Then enjoy the

journey in discovering wonderful things about yourself. Other

steps include:

Being clear on your core values and beliefs—these are the

fundamental principles of your life that shape and define who

you are.

Self-reflection—be sure that you are living a life that is

consistent with your core values and beliefs.

Knowing your gifts and strengths—start using them daily;

become clear about them and the things you are passionate

about.

Finding opportunities to do what you are interested in or

passionate about.

#3: What is the stewardship of gift that I have? This is what God has given you that you are

responsible for. Are you gifted at teaching? If you are, you are responsible for making sure that you

nurture and mature that gift and that you don‟t mishandle that gift. Are you talented? Can you sing?

Then it means that you have to nurture that gift and protect it, not abuse it or misuse it.

#4: Am I positioned in the right place? I know what I‟m supposed to do in life, but am I in the

right place, and am I targeting the right people? Am I making the right connections so that the

people I‟m assigned to can actually receive what it is that God has placed inside of me? It comes

down to knowing your life purpose; for Christians, it‟s knowing what God has called you to do.

I: How can life coaching be bridged into Christian ministry?

GL: One of the ways it can be bridged into Christian ministry is for leaders in ministry to understand

that there have always been areas within Christian ministry that were functioning in some capacity as

coaching already.

For example, in the church, we already have one-on-one sessions where people can come for

counseling or support. We also have groups that meet in the church. We have specialized programs

such as learning how to manage your finances. We have small groups. And we have products on

certain areas that help people. As the leadership in the church, we have to understand that we

already have some areas of ministry that are functioning in some capacity of coaching.

To bridge coaching and Christian ministry, there has to be a foundation laid in the church. That

foundation has to start with the leadership, extend to the congregation, and then we have to find the

people who are gifted or who have a desire to help other people.

Those who are already doing life coaching—Christian coaching—need to educate ministry leaders on

what life coaching is through a seminar or workshop style event. The leadership needs to understand

what life coaching is even before putting the Christian descriptive to it.

Ministry leaders need to understand what Christian life coaching is and how it aides ministry. How

does it help a ministry to become more relevant today, to reach more people, or to be able to make

available to people more resources, more support, and more encouragement?

Next, we need to move on to the congregation. There needs to be some teaching in general to the

congregation members about what life coaching is so that they‟ll know that there‟s an area of

ministry that‟s available to them to help them reach their greatest potential as individuals. They‟re

wanting to seek out those who feel called to help people, and the church would call it The Ministry of

Helps.

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Ginger London continued . . .

Finally, we have to go to those people who are gifted at helping people and begin to train them to be

life coaches so that they can learn the skills and the techniques—what they need to know about

people—so that it can be an effective area of ministry and not just another area that we add to

ministry.

Once the leadership and the congregation are on board, and the individuals who are called to help

have been identified, then we need to do what some life coaches do: If life coaching is new to a

church, they may want to offer sample group sessions. This can be done by selecting twelve to fifteen

people in the church and letting them go through a predetermined number of weeks of group

coaching, and then allow them to come back to the congregation and give testimonies about how the

group coaching helped them.

The same thing could be done with one-on-one coaching. Get some people to be part of a pilot group,

let them go through a certain number of coaching sessions, and then let them come back and give

testimonies to the church congregation.

Also, the church can host live events offering a particular teaching related to being successful in life,

finding your purpose, opening a business, marketing your business—whatever it is—and it can

actually become a coaching event. Do this so that people in the church can become more familiar

with this professional area of help.

Those are the things I see that can be done to bridge life coaching and Christian ministry. Christians

are known for wanting to go to the church for help when they have a need. They go to the either a

church or a Christian organization first. If the church doesn‟t have the resources to help with their

particular need, then they go outside of the church. If we‟re going to be as relevant as we should be,

that‟s one of the areas to consider adding to church ministry.

I: What makes a good Christian life coach?

GL: The heart of a coach is important because, as Christians, we‟re told to love one another with a

pure heart; we‟re told to have a true heart before God. I think the heart of a coach is very important.

When I refer to the heart, what I mean is, is there a self-awareness there? As a Christian life coach,

am I aware of my own core beliefs? Am I aware of my own mind-set and what my strengths and

abilities are? Do I know my limitations?

Also important is how I perceive other people in my heart Do I see people as individuals who have

the ability to succeed, or do I see certain people as being draining, wearing me out, good for nothing,

doing the same old thing, and as though they‟re never going to get anywhere? How do I see people?

People can sense if you are pure towards them or if you‟re judgmental.

I think the heart of a Christian coach, or any coach really, should be pure. There should be a lot of

self-awareness there. How you perceive people—what you think about people—is crucial to how

you‟re going to be able to help them. You have to be people sensitive.

The skills of a coach are also extremely important. Even though we‟re in Christian ministry and we

conduct ministry in a certain way when it comes to life coaching, there are sets of skills and

techniques that we have to learn in addition to what we already know. Part of that skill development

would include areas such as learning about human behavior, learning how to communicate using

powerful questions, and active listening, which we do to some degree, but when you‟re coaching it‟s a

little different. I think a Christian life coach has to develop skills that will make him or her effective in

this area of profession.

I: What are some key differences you see when coaching Christian clients versus non-Christians?

GL: For me, the difference is seen in the coaching process itself. The techniques, the powerful

questions, and the skills are basically the same. For me, it‟s more about the coaching process, or the

coaching relationship.

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For example, if someone comes in wanting Christian life coaching, they will know beforehand that the

Christian life coaching session will begin with prayer. Whatever we talk about during the coaching

process, at some point Biblical principles will be applied, and at the end, we will close the session with

prayer. That is because prayer is a fundamental principle in Christianity.

That‟s basically the difference. It‟s just the process that the coaching moment goes through. When a

non-Christian comes to me, that aspect is not forced on them. If they want prayer, I will certainly

pray for them, but in Christian coaching, it is understood that I start with prayer, use Biblical

principles in the coaching process, and end every session with prayer.

Also, some of the action steps for a Christian might be a little different than those for a non-Christian.

For example, if a Christian comes in and they are struggling with a mind-set, not sure that they can

be successful, then that action step would probably include searching Scriptures that talk about being

successful and about being predestined for abundant living. That‟s the difference right there: Biblical

principles and prayer would be included.

I: What are the three most important personal tips that you can share with us about attitude?

GL: Attitude is extremely important if you‟re going to be successful or live a successful life, because

your attitude is the way you look at things. It‟s your opinion, your reactions to people, what you think

about life, and what you think about God. Basically, it‟s your personal interpretation and the value

that you place on others around you.

Three Insights on Attitude

Seek out new information from a reliable source. This

is a good place to begin to change your attitude. If your attitude

is a little off-kilter or not framed correctly, you need to start

connecting with people who are reliable sources so that you can

begin to change your attitude and take on a different

perspective, begin to see people differently, and respond to

them differently in a wholesome manner.

New experiences replace bad experiences. Sometimes

people‟s attitudes are not healthy because they‟ve had bad

experiences in life, so they need to position themselves to have

new experiences so that they can begin to master those

attitudes that are resulting from the bad experiences.

The good outweighs the bad. The benefit of having a

good attitude far outweighs the destructive behaviors that come

with having a bad attitude.

It is vital that our attitude to be right if we‟re going to be

successful in life—if we‟re going to be successful as life

coaches—because attitude, which is manifested in behavior, is

conceived in our minds, so we have to make sure that our

mind-set is rooted in wholesome thinking. There has to be a

shifting in our mind-set.

There‟s a Scripture that says, “As a man thinketh, so is he.” As I think in my heart—and heart is

synonymous with mind—whatever I think in my mind, that‟s who I am. If I‟m mean-spirited, if I‟m

bitter, or if I‟m angry, that is manifested in the way that I live, my behavior towards others, or how I

relate to other people.

If I want my attitude to change, my mind-set has to change. I literally have to change the way I

think, and that helps me to change how I relate to people and how I perceive people. I have to

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Ginger London continued . . .

cultivate an innovative way of thinking, and that helps me to actually change my attitude towards my

life and towards other people.

I: What is one technique used in coaching that resonates with Christian ministry?

GL: One coaching technique that really resonates with Christian ministry would be meditation.

Meditation has been a practice in Christianity for years and years. More people are probably using it

today than in the past, because people are so busy and so active that they don‟t take time to actually

still themselves and to get some peace in their lives, if only just for a moment.

Meditation is one of the things that I like that‟s used in coaching, and it‟s also a technique that‟s used

in Christianity. For myself as a Christian, meditation is a spiritual experience that paints the end

result of the promises of God on my heart.

For example, God has chosen me, and I‟m going to be speaking to a large group of people and having

major events to help people. What meditation does is it actually gives me a visualization point, so

when I‟m in that still moment and I am meditating, I am actually seeing, in the recesses of my

imagination, myself up in front of the people. I visualize the event, and then I begin to meditate on

those Scriptures or the promises in the Scriptures where God has shown me that this is the plan that

He has for my life. It helps to bring peace to my spirit.

When I experience that peace in my spirit, I‟m not so anxious for things to happen. I can be excited

about something happening, but I get into dangerous territory when I become anxious, because then

I start doing things out of timing, out of turn, and I start messing up the process. Meditation helps to

center me, as we say in coaching; it puts me in a place where I‟m visualizing and framing in my mind

exactly what it is that God has shown me that He‟s going to do with my life.

Four Components to Christian Meditation

Verbalization: As Christians, we are taught to make positive confessions about what it is that we

believe God for in our lives. When I am meditating, I will sit and verbally confess what it is that God

has promised me. I will verbalize Scriptures that go along with those promises.

Visualization: I actually begin to see what God has planned for me. Even though it hasn‟t

manifested yet, I can see it in the sprit realm or in my imagination; I can already see it happening.

Internalization: I have to believe that what God has shown me about my life, I can actually obtain.

If I don‟t internalize it, then it‟s just something that I‟m doing. I‟m just going through a cycle. When it

becomes a part of who I am, when it resonates in my spirit, then I am more likely to pursue that

dream or to pursue that goal. When I‟m meditating, I have to internalize what God has shown me. I

have to believe it.

Repetition: I constantly repeat this process in meditation over and over, and I keep repeating to

myself that I am successful, I am living the abundant life, I can do this, I can accomplish this goal.

It‟s a way for me to quiet my sprit and focus on what God is showing me. Part of what happens when

I do this is that a rejuvenation process occurs. I become reenergized, I become excited, I encourage

myself, and then I stay connected to what it is that I am pursuing.

For me, meditation is a technique that can be beneficial for Christians as well as non-Christians.

I: Ginger, let me ask you a few personal questions. What inspires you?

“People are so busy and so active that they don’t take time to actually still

themselves and to get some peace in their lives, if only just for a moment. For myself as a Christian, meditation is a spiritual experience that paints

the end result of the promises of God on my heart.”

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GL: I get excited about helping people discover their purpose and then

launch out into that purpose. I‟m inspired when people have a desire to

know their life purpose, and then take the next step beyond that and say,

“I know what my life purpose is. Now how do I accomplish my life

purpose?” That gets me excited. Sometimes when I‟m coaching clients in

that area, I have to catch myself, because before you know it I will have

laid the steps out—do this, this, this, and this—I get excited for them.

It inspires me when people want to know why they exist, what their

purpose for being here is, and how they can find meaning in life. When

they are serious about finding those answers, I get excited about helping

them. When they accomplish every goal they set out to accomplish, that

causes such exuberance. It gets me to a place where I‟m overly excited,

because I know that if they keep going in that direction, they‟re going to

live a fulfilled life.

Then I begin to see the fruit of my labor. Whether they come for Christian coaching or for Christian

ministry counseling, when they take those steps, I begin to see the fruit of my labor, and that‟s

exciting.

I: How do you inspire others and change their lives?

GL: I inspire others by helping to instill confidence in them; if they can believe they can achieve

whatever it is they are dreaming about, if I can get them to a place where they can take ownership of

confidence, then I can see where the inspiration comes from me and how that moves them into doing

what it is they desire to do, or becoming the type of person they desire to become.

If I can do something to help others take ownership of confidence, then that shows me that I have

inspired them, because when they believe they can achieve it, then I know I‟ve done a good work.

From there, they have to take the next step. It‟s about helping people to take ownership of

confidence, believing that they can achieve it, or even something more personal, such as wanting to

see a certain thing happen within their family. If they can take ownership of confidence and believe

that their family can change or that they can do better in their job, that is how I see inspiration

coming through in others. The inspiration that I instill in others comes through and helps them to

obtain confidence. Then it becomes about watching them as they progressively move and giving them

confirmation that they are going in a good direction.

For anyone who wants to find out more, they can visit my Web site at www.gingerlondon.com. They

can go to that Web site, read more about me, and see some of the things that I‟ve done listed there

on the bio page. There is also a Heart-to-Heart newsletter page, and if they‟d like, they can sign up to

become e-club members and receive the monthly newsletter as well as updates on what‟s coming up

and what we‟re doing. I am also on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn—all the social sites.

-34-

“It inspires me when people want to know

why they exist, what their purpose for

being here is, and how they can find

meaning in life. When they are

serious about finding those answers, I get

excited about helping them.”

http://www.gingerlondon.com/upcls.html

is a board certified psychiatric nurse

practitioner who studies women’s mental

health, including prenatal and reproductive

psychiatry. Her Master’s degree is from

Columbia University in New York City with a

post-Master’s certificate as a nurse practitioner

in adult mental health from the Sage Colleges

in Troy, New York.

She has developed an approach to promoting

optimal health that incorporates spiritual,

emotional, and physical health using the

acronym HEALTH: Happiness, Exercise,

Amygdala (brain equilibrium), Lifestyle

choices, Time management, and Hormone

regulation.

With over thirty-five years of experience as a

clinician, administrator, and educator, Janet’s

passion is working with women and helping

them to understand the link between the

female brain, hormones, and mood disorders.

She has a blog called Janet’s Health Café on

Facebook, which is also found at

www.janetshealthcafe.com.

I: What is a psychiatric nurse practitioner?

JL: For those who may not know, a psychiatric nurse

practitioner is a nurse practitioner who is a

registered nurse that has taken advanced study and

clinical practice in a Master‟s program in psychiatric

nursing, and by doing that has gained expert

knowledge in the care and the prevention of mental

disorders. Psychiatric nurse practitioners are legally

authorized to diagnose medical problems, to

prescribe medications, and to order lab tests—they

can basically manage a case for a patient.

I: What clinical experiences have brought you to

where you are today?

JL: I began my nursing career as a visiting nurse in

New York City where I had lower Manhattan as my

territory. This gave me my first exposure to women

of various ages, social classes, and cultures. Early on

in my career, while I was making my mother-baby

visits, I began to observe some common threads in

women‟s emotional responses during the postpartum

period.

Later in my career, I had the privilege as part of the

psychiatric consultation services at a large

community medical center, which handled 7,000

deliveries a year, to design and implement a

program to screen and treat women with perinatal

mood disorders.

Janet Leathem

-35-

Another focus on women‟s health took place at the

Veterans Administration where I was involved with the

women‟s veterans program, especially with women

dealing with posttraumatic stress disorder.

There have been many clinical experiences that have

provided a rich backdrop to understanding the emotional

needs of women across their entire life span.

I also worked for a number of years with older women

and became acutely aware of the numerous losses that

they experience physically, emotionally, socially, and even

financially. A lot of times, people forget about our older

women, but they really do experience a greater increase

in depression than even women who are younger.

I: I understand you have a three-prong approach to promoting wellness and reducing stress that

includes components of physical, emotional, and spiritual health. Could you describe the components

of your health plan?

JL: Sure. I define this approach using an acronym to help people remember the things they can do to

promote HEALTH.

Promoting HEALTH

Happiness: Happiness really comes from understanding your purpose in the Universe. Princeton

University defines happiness as “a state of well being, characterized by emotions ranging from

contentment to intense joy.” I like to think of happiness as the spiritual aspect of health, and it

relates less to organized religion than to the meaning of life. It really relates to the essence of who

you are—a unique individual created by God. God says that since we were in our mother‟s wombs, He

has known us. Just thinking about it, that knowledge in and of itself is tremendously empowering, to

me anyway.

It‟s important to define what experiences a person has that help them to have true happiness. It‟s

different for everyone; whether it‟s practicing your faith, keeping a journal or another kind of

reflective process such as prayer, buying fresh flowers, listening to your favorite music, or simply

enjoying nature, all of those things can help to nourish your spirit and in turn can promote health.

You might ask why that happens. The point is that when you bring things into your life that create a

lasting joy, a very interesting physical response occurs. There is a gas called nitric oxide that is

released from the lining of your blood vessels which increases circulation as well as the production of

neurotransmitters in the brain. You might remember that neurotransmitters are chemical messengers

that help to improve mood and help you to deal with life‟s stressors. It also increases endorphins in

your body, which are your body‟s natural morphine. That helps to dull pain and to increase feelings of

euphoria.

Another hormone, prolactin, is also released, which is often referred to as the hormone of bonding.

It‟s released when a woman nurses a baby, has an orgasm, or even when you get together with good

friends.

Cultivating happiness is different for everyone, and it‟s important to find the area that works for you.

Exercise: The American Heart Association recommends thirty minutes of aerobic exercise five times

a week. There have been a number of studies comparing the outcome of exercise versus Prozac on

moods, and the findings show that exercise is just as effective as Prozac for treating mild to moderate

depression. You can easily add extra activity into your day by taking the stairs rather than the

elevator or parking at the far end of a parking lot.

Janet Leathem continued . . .

-36-

Amygdala: You may not have heard of this before. It is an almond-shaped structure found in the

limbic part of the brain and is the major relay station for receiving information from the outside and

integrating it with information from the cortex and the brain stem.

It‟s responsible for a lot of things: your appetite, your thirst, your sleep/wake cycle, your sex drive,

your aggressive impulses, memory, body temperature, and the control of your menstrual cycle. When

a person is depressed, most of the limbic functions are disturbed.

The amygdala also regulates the emotion and fear responses, and it analyzes threats in the

environment and helps you decide whether you want to get angry, fight, run away, or freeze in your

tracks. It‟s also involved in the production of serotonin and norepinephrine.

When a person is depressed, the amygdala is often found to be overactive. When the amygdala is

overactive, the depression gets worse. Controlling your brain and keeping it in equilibrium is a very

important part of maintaining your health.

Lifestyle Changes: As the brain becomes overloaded with stress, it eventually loses its ability to

cope or adapt. If a person is dealing with a lot problems, such as financial problems, a poor marriage,

caring for a sick family member, social isolation, or anything really, this tremendous emotional

upheaval can lead to intense feelings of shame and guilt, hurt and sorrow, or even anger, just to

name a few.

This chronic overburdening of the brain, along with the hormonal issues, results in what has been

called by some “brain strain.” We all know about straining our muscles, but this is “brain strain.” By

making some simple lifestyle changes, you can help to restore the balance.

I‟ve already mentioned exercise as one important component. Another important issue is to look at

how much time and energy you devote to the various aspects of your life, such as your life‟s work—

whether you‟re a professional business person, a homemaker, or a mother—versus how much time

you spend on your personal life. There needs to be time to recover, to renew, and to reflect on

things. These are just some of the lifestyle modifications that you can consider. Some other important

ones include sleep time, nutrition, and time for friends.

Time Management: It is critical to set goals. Daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly goals are necessary

in order to keep things in balance. It‟s best to write these goals down rather than keeping them

stored in your head, and there need to be time limits so that you can evaluate your progress.

Hormones: This includes not only reproductive hormones, but also the thyroid and the adrenals.

I know that‟s a mouthful, but that‟s the overall rubric of how I would conceptualize maintaining good

health.

I: Why do you think so many people today seem to be so stressed out?

JL: That‟s a good question. I think basically we live in a really supercharged world today. I don‟t

know how you feel, but everything is hyperlinked, immediately accessible, and productivity-driven.

Many people remember the days when we didn‟t even carry cell phones, let alone need to have a

smartphone so we could have instant Internet access. All of this coupled with devices like the

Blackberry, e-mail demands, faxes, and pagers means our brains are constantly on high alert.

For women, there are often the additional concerns of juggling work, children, and maintaining a

household, coupled with women‟s hormonal issues of PMS, pregnancy, postpartum, and menopause,

all of which can cause symptoms of depression and anxiety disorders.

It truly becomes a biological challenge to your brain, which is really not equipped to handle the

assaults of our modern culture, and that‟s basically what it is—an assault. The brain chemistry

becomes disregulated and needs to be stabilized.

-37- (Continued next page.)

I: Would you elaborate further on the link between the female brain, hormones, and mood disorders?

JL: It‟s a pretty complex topic, and probably the best way to illustrate it is to use the menstrual cycle

as an example; but the same principles apply whether you‟re talking about the postpartum period,

menopause, or whatever.

The menstrual cycle is an ever-changing hormonal environment so to speak. It‟s the result of an

intricate dialogue between your ovaries and your brain. This conversation can occur according to a

very specific timetable, and proper conditions have to exist in this communication cycle. The

communication begins, of course, at puberty, which is your first menstrual cycle, and that‟s the time

when many girls first begin to report symptoms of anxiety or depression.

To give you a better understanding of how the hormones all work in the cycle, I‟ll just briefly tell you

about the three phases. The first phase is the follicular phase, which is the first fourteen days when

messages are sent between the ovary, the hypothalamus, which is in the brain, and the pituitary

gland, which is also in the brain. These messages cause that follicle to develop and release an egg.

During that time, the female hormone estrogen is secreted from these enlarged follicles, and while

the estrogen rises in the first two weeks, the release of endorphins in the brain also occurs. You may

remember that endorphins are actually the body‟s natural analgesic, or pain killers, but they also

have the ability to elevate your mood.

All of that happens in the first fourteen days of

your cycle, and then comes ovulation. During

the ovulation phase, the rising estrogen levels

signal the hypothalamus in your brain to turn

down their secretions—kind of like a dimmer

switch. As that happens, the estrogen levels

rise abruptly, which tells the pituitary gland to

release another hormone called luteinizing

hormone, which causes the follicle to release

its egg—that‟s ovulation. Timing is very exact,

and it occurs within thirty-six hours after the

surge of luteinizing hormone.

Just before ovulation, there is also a rise in

another hormone called progesterone.

Progesterone is what prepares the uterine

lining to receive a fertilized egg. It can also

lead to mood stability, because the

progesterone binds to what are called gabba-

receptors in the brain, which actually slow

nerve firing.

It‟s during this ovulation phase that endorphins

reach their highest levels, and then they

decrease. Endorphins affect your appetite,

thirst, breathing rate, regulation of pain,

memory, learning, and your sexual behavior.

They work with estrogen to switch off the

hypothalamus as well as to help the brain to

withstand the effect of stress hormones.

You may have heard that exercise is good for

you, and I talked about that a little earlier.

Exercise releases endorphins, and it‟s a great

way to take care of your brain at any time of

Janet Leathem continued . . .

-38-

the month. Endorphins are also released with acupuncture,

and that can also be used as a treatment method for “brain

strain.” This causes the prostaglandins to increase

testosterone, and that‟s another thing that helps to increase a

person‟s sex drive.

The final phase of the menstrual cycle, the leuteal phase,

occurs right after ovulation, and what happens is the

estrogen levels just plunge, and it‟s really a time of emotional

upheaval. Decreased estrogen leads to estrogen withdrawal

that can actually feel like coming off a drug. The same thing

happens when someone who has been on a mood-altering

drug withdraws. These reactions can lead to alterations in

mood because serotonin and other neurotransmitters have

been depleted by the process of estrogen withdrawal.

This is why you often hear of people having a lot of mood

swings during the last two weeks of their menstrual cycle.

They experience things like irritability, anger, sensitivity,

sadness, clumsiness, memory problems, carbohydrate

cravings, and decreased sex drive; all of those symptoms

usually indicate that there is less serotonin available. As soon

as menstruation begins, the estrogen levels start to rise

again, the situation reverses itself, and a person‟s mood

stabilizes.

It‟s complex how all of these things interact; it‟s a very delicate balance between the various

hormones and the different stages of the menstrual cycle.

I: Let‟s talk a little bit about depression. Does a person have to look sad to be experiencing major

depression? And what are the common symptoms of depression for women?

JL: A lot of people think that someone has to look really sad or be crying all the time to have

symptoms of depression. In order to have a diagnosis of major depression, a person either has to

have a depressed mood, which can exhibit as being sad, anxious, physically drained, or empty. Or,

the other thing they may exhibit is a loss of interest in things that were once enjoyable. That term is

anhedonia. One of those two things have to be present.

For example, if a woman normally enjoys her job, exercises daily, goes out to lunch with friends once

a week, and then seems to have lost interest in these activities, there‟s a good chance that she may

be depressed. She doesn‟t have to look sad or unhappy to be experiencing major depression.

Some of the other common symptoms include changes in appetite, sleep, fatigue, feelings of guilt, an

inability to concentrate, and even thoughts of death or suicide. Women often report symptoms of

overeating rather than undereating, and weight gain rather than loss. Also, oversleeping is reported

more often by women than insomnia, and an irritable mood rather than a depressed mood is more

prevalent in women.

Another interesting symptom is chronic pelvic pain, which may indicate an underlying medical

disease, but it may also indicate depression. Also, if you find that a woman has a lot of somatic

complaints such as various aches and pains that really do not have a physical cause, she may also

have depression.

I: I‟ve heard that it is important to have your thyroid checked when you‟re having problems with your

mood. What exactly is the thyroid, what is the difference between an overactive and underactive

thyroid, and how does it relate to your mood?

JL: The thyroid is a butterfly-shaped gland that sits in the front of your neck below your Adam‟s

apple. You shouldn‟t be able to feel it if it‟s normal. It has two lobes that are connected in the middle.

-39- (Continued next page.)

-40-

An overactive thyroid is called hyperthyroidism, and it‟s most often caused by something called

Graves‟ disease, or an overactive thyroid nodule. The symptoms include feeling nervous, moody,

weak or tired, having a fast heartbeat, problems breathing, shaky hands, sweaty or warm skin,

weight loss, or having more bowel movements. It‟s a very serious condition, because without

treatment, hyperthyroidism can lead to heart problems, bone problems, and a dangerous condition

called thyroid storm.

On the other hand, an underactive thyroid is called hypothyroidism. It is most often caused by

Hashimoto‟s thyroiditis, which causes the body‟s immune system to attack the thyroid tissue. As a

result, the gland can't make enough thyroid hormone. Those symptoms include feeling tired, weak,

depressed, having dry skin, brittle nails, not being able to stand the cold, constipation, memory

problems, having trouble thinking clearly, and heavy or irregular menstrual periods.

You can see a lot of those symptoms correlate with the ones I talked about earlier in connection with

depression. Thyroid disease can affect your mood, primarily by causing anxiety or depression.

The interesting thing is the hypothalamus in the brain orchestrates the thyroid function by secreting

releasing factors. The hypothalamus also orchestrates the menstrual cycle, the physiological stress

responses, body temperature, your appetite, and your sleep/wake cycle, to name just a few.

You can see that all of these things are intertwined, and while thyroid levels should always be

checked to rule out any disorder, usually treatment with antidepressants is required for severe mood

disregulation. It‟s important that everyone remembers to ask their health care provider to check their

thyroid levels if their provider doesn‟t bring that up.

I: I‟ve heard a lot about adrenal fatigue. What is it, how does chronic stress contribute to adrenal

fatigue, and what can be done to correct it?

JL: Science tells us that if you experience stress on a chronic basis, the tiny adrenal glands that

moderate your stress response and balance many other hormones in your body will suffer. As the

adrenal glands become increasingly compromised, women experience an increase in the dreaded

excess abdominal weight as well as a decreased immunity, lack of concentration, irritability,

disruptive sleep, and ultimately pure exhaustion.

You can see there are a lot of common themes that are developing between these different areas that

we‟ve been talking about. Adrenal dysfunction can be healed, but a person really needs to decrease

their stress load. Low blood sugar by itself puts stress on your body, and that can really tax your

adrenals. The primary adrenal hormone, cortisol, serves as a kind of moderator in making sure your

blood sugar between meals, especially during the night, stays adequate.

Going for long periods without eating makes the adrenals work harder by requiring them to release

more cortisol to keep your body functioning normally. I would recommend eating three nutritious

meals and two or three snacks that are well timed throughout the day as one way to balance your

blood sugar and lessen the adrenal burden.

I don‟t know if you realize it, but there‟s actually a circadian rhythm to your cortisol cycle. It normally

begins to rise around 6:00 a.m. and reaches its peak around 8:00 a.m. Then, throughout the day,

cortisol gradually declines with a few upward bumps at mealtimes. It doesn‟t go straight down, but it

has peaks and valleys in preparation for nighttime rest.

It helps if you eat the majority of your food earlier in the day and eat an early dinner by 5:00 or 6:00

p.m. rather than having dinner at the European time at 9:00 or 10:00 p.m. Caffeine or gluten can be

particularly harsh on the adrenals, so try to stay clear of cookies, cakes, donuts, white bread, coffee,

or soda.

I: What insights can you share regarding the importance of goal planning for empowering others

towards optimal health?

Janet Leathem continued . . .

-41-

JL: I believe that if you don‟t plan to hit the target, you never will. It‟s really important to take charge

of your life, because there are so many competing priorities, especially for women.

No matter how busy you are, you must set aside at least thirty minutes a day as time for yourself.

You need to be aware of and really tune in to your body‟s stress signals, and incorporate some type

of relaxation technique. Honor your body‟s request to step back for a moment and relax, instead of

doing what many of us do, which is to just wind up and do some more.

One thing I have found to be very effective is doing just two minutes of relaxation breathing; that will

completely cut off the cortisol stress cycle and will help to restore your equilibrium.

Also, consider any lifestyle changes that you may need or want to implement, and add just one each

month, instead of getting overwhelmed with all of the things you want to do. Many small steps will

help you to eventually reach your goals.

I: What life lessons have taught you the most about health and balanced living?

JL: What helped me the most was when I had an episode of health problems myself. It‟s funny, you

go along with your life just the way it is, and then when you need to stop for whatever the reason

may be—in my situation it was due to health issues—you really come to respect your body and all the

different parts of it. I think that that was a big lesson for me.

The other lesson came for me when I made the decision to quit my full-time executive-level job after

the birth of my second child. I did go back to work for a short while, but I was having to juggle a high

-powered position, two small children, breastfeeding at work, and all kinds of things, and the lesson I

learned was that I had to make choices and set my priorities, and so I did.

Another lesson came a little further down the line when I was caring for my aging parents and again

working full time and caring for the household. All of this bombarded me, and I ended up having two

heart attacks, five stents, a thyroid crisis, and four surgeries, which resulted in my disability.

All of these things came together to teach me a life lesson about the importance of living in a

balanced way in order to promote good health. I hope that this at least gives an introduction to the

incredibly intricate way that our body communicates—all of the different parts of it—to create a

healthy life.

“No matter how busy you are, you must set aside at least thirty minutes a day as time for yourself . . . Honor your body’s request to step back for a

moment and relax, instead of doing what many of us do, which is to just wind up and do some more.”

www.janetshealthcafe.com

We met Azzah in central Mexico and were

amazed by her work. She travels the world

helping people to release toxic emotions,

leading them to more clarity and a deeper

understanding of themselves and their

relationship to life.

I: Would you begin by telling us a little bit about

how you got involved in this great work that you‟re

doing?

A: It started in utero.

I: That‟s really early!

A: That‟s really early—I decided that I needed to be

my parents‟ therapist. That‟s where it actually all

started. By the time I was two years old, I had a

degree—I had my doctorate.

I: That‟s great! From there, how did it all expand for

you? I know you‟ve done a lot of studies and a lot of

human behavior and energy type of work all over

the world. Tell us a little bit about how it progressed

for you.

A: It‟s my passion. It‟s my gift. I‟ve never thought of

doing anything else but this, and life opened this

door for me to go through.

When I was about nine years old, I remember going

for a ride up in the Blue Mountains in Australia. We

were standing at a lookout, and I could see all of

Sydney.

In one split second, a vision opened, and I could see

my life. I just knew that this was it. Something was

calling me. Some call it a “guardian angel” The

Egyptians once referred to as “Kar”—your soul‟s

guardian. But whatever you call it, there was a

force—a life—calling me.

Life called me to this earth, and there‟s my

fingerprint, and every single person‟s fingerprint is

totally different. That‟s amazing, isn't it?

So it‟s my life. It‟s my calling. Something called me

to be. It opened up and showed me my direction and

that was it.

Joseph Campbell says, “Follow your bliss and every

door will open.”

I: That‟s my favorite quote.

A: It‟s my favorite as quote as well. And he was

Azzah

-42-

right, wasn‟t he? I agree with Joseph Campbell.

I: Where did that take you from the standpoint of the studies and the marvelous

tools that you‟re now sharing with people?

A: First of all, it lead me to be a therapist for my parents, because they came out

of the war in Russia—thirty million people did. They came out of that situation

totally shell-shocked. I learned how to bring my mother down out of trauma; I was

her therapist.

I: That is really an unusual situation—a role change.

A: Yes, but I could do it, and it was easy for me. I just knew how. I grew up around Australian

Aborigines, and for me, even though I‟ve studied so much and I‟ve had amazing teachers in my life,

Australian Aborigines have had the biggest influence on my life.

Basically, they say that the spirit of fear has come to teach you. Learn, respect the spirit of fear, and

find your soul‟s highest learning from the spirit of fear. Once you‟ve learned, that spirit goes away,

and another one comes to teach you. If the spirit of depression has come, learn, and then it will part.

It will leave, and then another one will come. And it goes on and on in this way.

I: It‟s like your guidance.

A: It‟s your guide—your spiritual guide. People think it‟s something outside of themselves, and maybe

it is, but it‟s also inside of you as well, because all is one at the end. It‟s like your soul‟s calling and

your spiritual guide which is both inside of you and outside of you.

I: It seems to have come to you very naturally, but for a lot of people, finding guidance to their

purpose in life is more challenging. How do you direct people who are challenged by that?

A: It came naturally to me because I grew up in the bush and I didn‟t have a lot of external

distractions. We didn‟t have TV. I grew up in what they call an organic environment—on a farm with

Aboriginal people. I grew up surrounded by nature, so I was allowed to just be.

I wasn‟t socialized like people are in the city, but it doesn‟t matter. Who you are is still there. Your

fingerprint is still your fingerprint. Everyone has a different way of getting to who they are. The way I

teach is by looking at who you‟re not—that‟s what I do.

To me, that‟s vast, because to disconnect from who you really are is normal. To develop a big ego

and a personality—which is the false self— in order to get away from who you really are is necessary.

You can't look at your ego and not identify with it.

I work by showing people who they‟re not. You‟re not the person who‟s worrying. You‟re not the

materialistic person who wants to show everyone your Mercedes Benz and your money. You‟re not all

of these things that you think you are—that you‟ve identified with.

It‟s like the story of the Garden of Eden. The nakedness—it‟s who you were before it all began. Find

who you were before you were born.

In the Garden of Eden, they ate the fruit and became consciously aware of their nakedness which

lead to them being ashamed of it. We become ashamed of who we really are—the I that I am—and

then put on these clothes—all of these different personals—to hide ourselves. We get so accustomed

to saying, “I am a psychologist,” “I am a therapist,” “I am an entrepreneur,” “I am . . . ”

Whatever can be observed is not who you are. It‟s transient. It dies. What I‟m doing in my work is

showing people who they are not. Begin by paying attention to your thinking. Start with a belief: “I

am an entrepreneur. I am successful.” Then bring that belief back to its roots: You had to be

successful to be loved by your parents or to be accepted in society. It was injected into your mind. It

-43- (Continued next page.)

“Everyone has

a different way of getting

to who they are. The way I

teach is by looking at who

you’re not.”

came to you. But that‟s not who you are.

You can observe it from the outside. Observe how you feel,

your opinions, and your beliefs. Observe your actions and

your body‟s intelligence. Whatever is observable is not who

you are.

If you‟re looking at who you‟re not, who‟s looking at who you

really are? Your life force is being fed by who‟s looking

instead of identifying what can be seen, what can be looked

at, and what can be observed. Who you really are—the

looker—gets stronger and stronger, and you begin to identify

less and less with what is observable.

I: So it‟s really like a stripping away process of what we

typically observe and identify with.

A: Yes. For example, “I am intelligent.” When I don‟t identify

with “I am intelligent; I have intelligence, and it‟s strong,”

then I can use it appropriately, and it can be in action instead of me being identified with it in

reaction.

Reaction depletes life force. Action creates life force—it creates your passion, your aliveness. It

connects you with, “I know that I know. I know that I am.” It connects you with the “I am” that is not

observable. It is the soul that never dies.

I: It‟s actually about working with all of those parameters within yourself as opposed to the external

activity that goes with being reactionary.

A: Yes, and it‟s vast. Imagine if you‟re depressed. Depression—what‟s that? Depression is not

connected to the I that I am and identifying with your chemistry, with your body. Imagine if you don‟t

identify with it, and instead you observe it; then it becomes your teacher.

I: I would imagine then, from what you‟re saying, that it strips away the fears that we normally have,

because it becomes a learning experience. If you‟re looking at life‟s events—whether you perceive

them as positive or negative—as a teacher and as a learning force, that allows you to progress, and

there‟s no reason for fear.

A: Exactly. Jesus says in the Bible, “Do not be afraid.” Paramahansa talks about fear. He said,

energetically, if you can see auras, it‟s like being in a shower and coming out dripping wet. Literally,

you‟re just dripping water. That‟s what happens with fear. It leaks your life force, which makes you

more vulnerable, which makes you be possessed more by fear.

I: What kept you motivated and going to learn all of this? You said you‟ve had some really great

teachers, so you‟ve been motivated to learn a lot of different techniques and approaches to helping

people.

A: My father comes from the Caucasus in the South of Russia. In the Caucasus, there‟s a way of

speaking that is the same as it is in most ancient cultures. The old people tell you a story. You ask a

question, and they‟ll tell you a story, and that story is pointing. It‟s like Rumi, the Sufi, pointing to the

moon; you don‟t look at the pointer, you look at where it‟s pointing.

-44-

Azzah continued . . .

“Reaction depletes life force. Action creates life force—

it creates your passion, your aliveness.”

That‟s what it‟s like with these stories. The story is the pointer. You look at where it‟s pointing to.

That‟s the way my father spoke. He was always pointing to something. I grew up trying to find what

he was pointing to, and that‟s my passion.

I: It‟s almost like a metaphor, in a way.

A: A metaphor, a myth, a fairy tale—they‟re all pointers.

I: They‟re pointers that actually show you the pathway to your true self.

A: Exactly. The true self is a universal law. All of these ancient teachings are universal laws. Time is a

universal law. Change is a universal law. The esotericness of all religions are universal laws.

There are different beliefs—different roads. My father taught me that I had to find my own way to

God, and he encouraged me to research everyone‟s religion, everyone‟s way, and to find what

resonates with me.

I: That‟s a very open way of sharing life with you. How are you inspired? What inspires you?

A: To know that I know. There‟s a purpose for me being on earth. I wasn‟t put here for nothing. We

weren‟t put here for nothing. The food chain is a law on this planet. As humans, we‟re the highest on

the food chain, so what am I food for?

I think we‟re all food for something. I think I‟m food for

higher consciousness. I have a purpose. I‟m not here to

eat and watch TV and make money and be comfortable.

There‟s something else. Once you‟ve got everything,

then what?

Experiences regurgitate themselves. “I went to the

beach, it was great.” That‟s just regurgitating. There‟s

something else. There‟s a calling in your soul, and once

you‟ve conquered the material world and you‟ve got

what you want and your ego is fed and everything‟s

fine, then what? There‟s always something else driving

you.

I: How do you feel you inspire other people? You‟re

inspiring me today.

A: I think one of my gifts is making people successful.

Success meaning being who you really are—that‟s the

ultimate success, isn't it? And bringing about your

purpose on Planet Earth—contributing the gift that you

are for the good of humanity. To me, that‟s the ultimate

success.

I: That‟s really beautiful. All of our gifts are unique and

different.

A: Absolutely. And they‟re all necessary—they all make

up the one.

I: I‟ve heard it said that when you‟re not giving of that unique gift, you‟re really robbing the world.

A: And you‟re depressing yourself. To go back to who you are, find the face you were before you

were born. Find the truth of yourself. It‟s simple. Get a photograph of yourself as a child, as young as

one, two, three, four, or five years old, and deeply look at that child. Look deeply into the eyes of

“One of my gifts is making people

successful. Success meaning being who you really are . . . contributing

the gift that you are for the good of humanity. To me, that’s the

ultimate success.”

-45- (Continued next page.)

that child and remember yourself.

That will vibrate the “I that I am”—that calling, because there was something in you, in everybody,

that was called to life, and it‟s still there. To get away from it, you really have to do a number on

yourself. We all have our own interpretation about childhood. To not believe in yourself, and to

identify with the tragedy of your childhood and live that belief is really small, and by doing that you

forget the calling that you are.

I: That‟s such a great point. Could you share a few of the secrets that you use to help people really

connect with that inner self?

A: To split away is very painful and shameful. We split through shame, because we‟re not accepted

for who we really are. We‟re socialized. “You mustn‟t do that,” or “You can't do that,”—shouldn‟t,

mustn‟t, don‟t, and can't. That shaming makes me feel like who I really am is not acceptable, so I

have to see how to be.

All of these parts of myself—my curiosity, my vibrance, my truth telling as I see it—all of these

qualities that I am had to go underground. There‟s a saying that every demon has the possibility of

being an angel. It‟s just life coming back on itself. To close the truth of yourself down in order to be

who society wants you to be—to be acceptable—is painful and comes through shame, and shame is

really intense.

When you bring those things back up, the shame that put them there comes up as well, but you have

to realize that you‟re an adult now, and that shame belonged to a child. It doesn‟t belong to who you

are now. Just bring those things up and empty them out of your physical self, because they lodge in

your body, whether it manifests as a backache, headache, depression—all of these things take place

in the body. It all lodges energetically in your body and has to be physically released.

Our habitual reactions are a product of our past conditioning, beliefs, and fears. They have become so

automatic that our response to anything that touches them becomes uncontrollable and “predictable.”

Your mind reacts to a situation according to your programmed beliefs. We are offended, we withdraw,

become violent, miserable, and “predictable.” Being slaves of our own feelings is a pathetic condition

of humanity. We are not only accustomed to being in this state of slavery, but we are accustomed to

justifying it when we are touchy, moody, aggressive, and so on.

Once all of that is gone, I am able to reach a higher level of seeing and a different interpretation of

what my soul‟s purpose is. I can ask, “What was my soul‟s highest learning in that situation?” It‟s a

totally different interpretation—otherwise, I‟m living the interpretation of my childhood and how I

interpreted that situation then.

I: Actually, to be able to express yourself through a kind of emotional reaction clears that out so that

you can move on and see things clearer and see that inner self that you were talking about earlier.

A: As soon as you see it for what it is, you‟re not identifying with it anymore. When a situation

happens where that reaction comes up, you‟ve got one or two seconds to make a different choice.

And by doing that, history does not repeat itself.

I: What would you say would be the most important thing for people to do to start down this path if

they‟re just exploring this and they have the desire to truly find their true purpose and their true self?

-46-

Azzah continued . . .

“Our habitual reactions are a product of our past conditioning, beliefs, and fears . . . Being slaves of our own feelings is a pathetic condition of

humanity. We are not only accustomed to being in this state of slavery, but we are accustomed to justifying it.”

-47-

How do they start?

A: Start with one belief—one rigid belief. Or, start with a pattern that repeats itself such as, “I keep

meeting the same type of person,” or “I keep getting into the same type of situation, problem, etc.”

Get ahold of something that reoccurs constantly, and then take a look at what you believe, where

that belief came from, and then realize that it‟s not you.

It‟s a program. That program, that mechanism keeps producing the same results. A machine

produces what it‟s programmed to produce. Your life is run by these automatic, always reactionary,

programmed beliefs. Are you‟re going to die like that?

Go to a cemetery and imagine what your life is going to be like if you don‟t release yourself from your

programming. In his inaugural speech, Nelson Mandela said it is our greatness we‟re scared of. That‟s

so true, isn't it?

It‟s your greatness you fear, not your shadow. He said that our “playing small does not serve the

world.” What do you think you can contribute to life by acting small? That‟s what we‟re scared of—our

greatness.

I: So truly what you do is contributing so people will be able to discover the

bigness that they have to deliver to the world.

A: I help them see the truth of who they really are, and not identify with some

cultural program they grew up in, which has been necessary. It‟s socialization—

of course we need it—but imagine using those experiences consciously as

opposed to identifying with them and assuming that‟s who you are.

I: That‟s why, as you mentioned earlier, it‟s important to take an action

approach rather than a reaction approach.

A: Exactly. We are made of energy. Transformation means transforming our

rate of vibration to a higher frequency.

This work is a process of becoming, to enter another dimension of

consciousness where dense energies such as feeling victimized, lacking in

confidence, and using aggression don‟t exist. The breakdown of the present

frame of mind allows a higher frequency to emerge and presents possibilities that can guide us away

from destruction toward transformation.

To lose ourselves is painful and hard. To come back to who we are is natural—it‟s our nature. All of

life, all of nature supports you being who you really are.

“This work is a process of

becoming . . . To lose

ourselves is painful and

hard. To come back to who we

are is natural— it’s our nature.

All of life, all of nature supports

you being who you really are.”

http://azzah9.blogspot.com/

is a thirty-year coaching veteran known as The Coach’s Coach. He has been a coach,

consultant, and trainer to CEOs and executive teams of healthcare delivery organizations,

businesses, school systems, and nonprofit organizations ranging in size from startup to

three-quarters of a billion dollar corporations. Bill’s work focuses on creating inspired

environments where individuals can take responsibility for their lives and the organizations

for which they work.

In 1964, Bill helped found the Ford Foundation Project, which became a pilot for Upward

Bound, a federally funded educational program that works to give young adults a leg up in

life. Bill has also worked tirelessly toward the transformation of educational systems in

prisons. Specifically, Bill spent thirteen years as an adjunct member of the faculty at the

College of Education at the University of Maine helping found the University’s Aspirations

for School project. He is the founder of the Center for Responsible Education, as well as a

two-time elected chair to the Maine School Union #47 Board of Directors where he has

served for six years. To date, Bill has worked with more than four thousand teachers in

critical case studies in his courses, “Motivating the Unmotivatable” and “Inspired

Teaching.”

I: Let‟s start off by talking about the term unmotivatable.

BC: Well, there is no such word as “unmotivatable” in the English language. We named that course

“Motivating the Unmotivatable” for two reasons: because it attracted teachers tremendously, and

because we wanted to address two issues. First, there is no such word as “unmotivatable,” and you

and I can't actually motivate other people; all we can do is create an environment in which they‟re

more likely to choose to be motivated themselves.

I: What happened in 1979 that changed your life?

BC: I had been doing work—or doing life, I guess. I‟m honored by the things that I had a chance to

participate in, especially the founding of Upward Bound, but I went from there to being a YMCA

director, and then I became the Corporate Responsibility Officer for what is now Key Bank nationally.

In 1979, one of my children was raped. I want to fast forward to 2011—that young woman is now the

CFO of an organization called The Transformation Center in Boston that helps returning troops from

Afghanistan and Iraq readjust to society using peer coaching. She‟s fine, but on that day, our world

as we knew it stopped. My child was standing in my kitchen bleeding, and I knew that she had just

been through one of the most traumatic experiences in the world. I literally—if I had caught the

person in that instant—would have killed him.

I‟ve spent my life doing things that are nonviolent and completely antithetical to that emotion that

arose, but there was no missing the emotion. Obviously, we took care of my daughter, Joy. We

immediately went to the hospital, and there were police and social workers and all kinds of other

things.

For a period of a few days, I couldn‟t shake that desire. It didn‟t take me long to figure out that it was

completely antithetical to everything I‟d spent my life being about, but it gave me a little bit of an

indication as to where some of the violence in the world comes from.

I started to study—some of it academic, but a lot of it just through what I was hearing going on

around me—about where violence comes from. To make a very long story very short, one day I had

the television on and Phil Donohue‟s show was on.

Donohue, in my opinion, did some great television before trash TV came along. He had a man named

Nick Groth who ran the sex offender program in the state of Connecticut on his program that day,

and three inmates were behind a theatrical scrim so you could see their body movements and hear

their voices, but you could never identify them; it was completely anonymous.

-49- (Continued next page.)

Bill Cumming

-50-

What I was struck by was what I didn’t hear: I didn‟t hear any of them blaming their circumstances

for how they go to be where they were, which was in a maximum security prison, having been

convicted of violent crimes.

I cold called Nick Groth, and some phone calls are just meant to go through. It happened to be a

taped delayed program that day, and he answered the phone, and we talked. He said, “There‟s only

one way you‟re going to understand what I‟m doing, and that‟s if you come down here.”

I agreed to come down to the maximum security prison in Somers, Connecticut, and while there were

a lot of things that took place along the way, I will cut to the core of what happened. Nick introduced

me to two groups. One was a group he had just started working with, and they had the usual litany of

people they felt were responsible for how they got there: mom, dad, the judge, the lawyer, the cop,

and then we finally got to the victim—“If only she hadn‟t done that, I wouldn‟t have killed her.”

At that point in the conversation, that feeling that I told you about that arose in my kitchen began to

well up inside of me again. Either Nick saw that, or it was time to go anyway, but in either case it was

fortunate. We then went to talk with people Nick had worked with for a couple of years, and in that

group there was a person who, as a child, had been locked in a closet for ten days at a time. That‟s

where he ate, that‟s where he slept, that was the bathroom—you get a sense of that room. Those

were the good times, because when the children weren‟t locked up, they were being raped and

sodomized by the entire adult community.

It was not hard for me to figure out how that man got to be where I met him in the maximum

security prison in Somers, Connecticut. What I didn‟t expect was that at the end of that first day—and

this was in 1979 when there weren‟t any video cameras around, there were no guards who could

hear, and Nick wasn‟t close by—this man said to me, “Bill, I am sorry that your daughter was raped.”

I knew he meant it. I didn‟t know what to do with it, but I knew he meant it.

It began to dawn on me at a very deep level that I had spent my life trying to do things that I

considered useful and worthwhile, and I just acknowledged to you that I have the capacity to kill (and

you‟ll notice I didn‟t put that in the past tense), and here‟s a man who committed violent crimes and

admitted it—he was not only convicted, but he admitted to me that he had done that—who was

capable of loving kindness.

What really became clear to me in a relatively short period of time is that the capacity for everything

is inside of us. The question is, what do we nurture? What do we water?

I began building programs that allowed people who had never experienced their value and worth in

the world an opportunity to experience that. But they could also experience the reality that inside of

them is the ability to make choices that allow them to take charge of their own lives. That‟s what

happened, and that‟s what I‟ve spent the last thirty-three years doing.

I: What did you discover about yourself, your daughter, and people in general?

BC: I realized that one of the reasons people engage in violent behavior is because they think they

have no control over their circumstances. Riots break out—not the kind that have to do with looting

and things like that—when people become overwhelmed by their circumstances and feel like they

have no control, they will resort to almost anything, especially when it comes to protecting their

children. It‟s been said numerous times that unless we end the issue of world hunger, we‟re never

going to have a world of peace, and I believe that to be true.

What I discovered about my daughter was that she was a lot more together than I was. She would

tell me later that it was simply because she was a better actress than I am. She really was stoic in

relationship to this, and those days are a blur to me. All I remember is my white rage and wanting to

do everything I could to protect my daughter, which I clearly couldn‟t do. What I discovered,

therefore, was this incredible courage and fortitude in my daughter that I was astounded by. I always

knew she was a neat kid, but the fact of the matter was she was tough as nails.

Bill Cumming continued . . .

I also found that no matter how much discipline you bring to the work that you do, there are going to

be things that bring up feelings that are elemental in nature. When you begin to look at where

violence and damage comes from, you begin to realize that well people don‟t damage other people. If

you and I are in a good mood, we‟re going to treat each other well, generally speaking.

If I‟ve had one of those days where I just lost my biggest client, a person I care about has been rude

and offensive, and I had a flat tire on the way home—it doesn‟t make any difference what the

circumstances are, but if it‟s one of those days where I‟m frustrated with myself and my

circumstances—I‟m much less likely to be loving and kind to those around me. If I‟m in good shape,

I‟m much more fun to be around than if I‟m in lousy shape.

One of the first things I do when I go to work with a group of prisoners is to acknowledge them for

reaching the pinnacle of their success, because most of them that I‟m talking to are in the big house

for their state. I congratulate them for being successful at having achieved this particular benchmark,

and I‟m not being sarcastic at all.

My next question I ask is, “Is this what you set out to accomplish?” There‟s a lot of silence. What they

discover is that I am not judging or evaluating them as people. I know that inside of them is the

capacity to turn their lives around. That capacity resides inside of all people. There’s no one who

doesn’t want to love and be loved and to know that their life has value and purpose.

I: Basically, it‟s a humanistic psychology approach tool—unconditional positive regard as well as

acceptance of prior behavior?

BC: No. Holding people in high regard, positivity, all of that stuff is good—that‟s a step in the right

direction. What I mean is showing absolute loving kindness the way you love a child, a loved one,

etc., so that person knows they‟re cared for as a human being.

The right words won't do this. It isn't about the words. It‟s about recognizing that the value and

worth of those people is a given. As a matter of fact, some of the language that surrounds self-worth

and self-esteem is so damaging to what I‟m working on that it‟s almost difficult to describe, because

people feeling good because something happened externally has nothing to do with it; I‟m talking

about knowing inside of your heart that you‟re okay, no matter what happens today.

Nelson Mandela went through twenty-seven years in a prison, and in the year following his release

with his captor, desegregated the country. That capacity resides inside of all people. Viktor Frankl

said, “The last of the freedoms is to choose one‟s attitude in any given set of circumstances.” He

wrote that in a concentration camp, and the depth of our ability to do that is that deep. It‟s not as if

Viktor Frankl is the only one who has that capacity.

I: I fully believe in that. I raise my children to believe that you are in charge of your attitude. You

can't change what happens to you. You can only dictate what you decide, how you view it, and how

you‟re going to accept that in your life.

BC: The problem is that not everybody grows up knowing that they‟re loved absolutely and

unconditionally, so consequently, they may hear all those words, but if they have no experience that

they‟re loved at that level, that place inside of them where their real value exists has never been

touched—those words don‟t mean much, which is why they‟re not particularly successful.

A board member of a nonprofit organization that I was doing some work with happened to work for

the department of Health and Human Services. She said in a public meeting that she didn‟t believe

that you had to hold people in high regard, and especially not hold them in a place of loving kindness,

because she absolutely felt that some of the people she worked with were despicable, but she

provided good services for them anyway.

“The capacity for everything is inside of us.

The question is, what do we nurture?”

-51- (Continued next page.)

-52-

Bill Cumming continued . . .

In actuality, there were services provided, but what the people also got was a heavy dose of, “You‟re

not worthy. You‟re not valuable. You have no significance.”

Most of the doing-ness to solve the world‟s problems already exists. The issue is, we don‟t treat each

other well. We actually treat each other very poorly, and we need to be mindful of finding ways to

nurture all that is good in people and to be mindful of operating with one another with dignity, grace,

and loving kindness. That sounds simple, but it applies in every situation, not just some.

A few years ago the federal government came out with a pretty important program, the title of which

is very telling. The program is called “The Serious and Violent Offender Reentry Program.” The reason

it came out is that three years ago, and for the next ten years forward, the federal government is

releasing 100,000 violent prisoners a year, and they know they haven't had an impact on them.

To call them “Departments of Corrections” is where the problem lies. You can't correct people into

wellness. All of the successful rehabilitation programs have at their core loving kindness and choice.

The ones that are about force and discipline may be able to modify behavior, but nothing happens at

an internal level, so people go out and recreate the same problem. If you don‟t alter that core place

in people—or if they don‟t alter it for themselves, more accurately—then nothing has really happened.

I: What changed in the way you see and experience the world?

BC: I used to believe there was right and wrong, and now I realize there‟s only

wellness and unwellness. People who are well don‟t damage other people in any

way, shape, or form. If you‟re in a place of loving kindness, it‟s impossible for you

to intentionally do damage. That doesn‟t mean that I don‟t do damage from time

to time, I do, but that‟s because of moments of unconsciousness.

We are trained to believe that some people are good and some people are evil. I‟ve

read the source documents of about fifteen different major religions, and all of the

spiritual traditions point to two things: love all people with no exception and grow

in wisdom. I don‟t care whether it‟s in the Koran or the teachings of Buddha or the

Bible, that‟s the message, which means it isn't ours to judge. That‟s not to say that

I expect people to be running around the street who have not had an opportunity

to do some work. I‟m not suggesting that we necessarily release all the prisoners.

I am suggesting that the way we work with them is absolutely antithetical to what

it is we say we want to accomplish. What changed in me was the way I saw the

world.

I: What is the connection between these revelations and the current problems in schools and

business?

BC: In my experience, we keep looking to the wrong things to make the changes. At the moment,

we‟re looking to change public schools by doing more testing. The testing is getting better; at least

now we‟re testing the same student to see whether they learned anything in a particular year. In the

old days, they used to test a particular grade level every few years. That‟s significant because it‟s like

comparing apples and oranges; there‟s no correlation between test results for an eighth grade class

three years from now and what‟s going on in eighth grade now.

However, the core issue is, if youngsters don‟t feel well about themselves—and this has nothing to do

with being happy, it‟s about seeing themselves as valued and valuable—if they don‟t see themselves

as able to be responsible for their own lives and well being, they‟re not going to produce the kind of

results we want to have produced.

The reason Upward Bound worked was because it was created an inspired environment where people

could choose to take responsibility for their own lives and caring faculty were sought. When the

government wanted to take over the pilots that had been started—one of which was ours—they

wanted to make it a remedial program. I and a number of other people said, “If you do that, you will

“I used to believe there

was right and wrong, and

now I realize there’s only

wellness and unwellness.

People who are well don’t

damage other people.”

kill the essence of Upward Bound.”

If you talk to anyone who runs an Upward Bound program now, they will tell you that the reason it

works is that often this is the first time youngsters have been involved with an entirely inspired group

of adults. Again, this is not to say their teachers in school are wrong, but we have to ask, “If they

can't create an inspired environment and they don‟t love kids, what are they doing in this business?”

Again, in prisons, unless we get over the notion that you can correct people into wellness, we‟re

never going to be able to change things. By the way, you can't build prisons fast enough to take care

of the unwellness that‟s bubbling up right now, and the reason is, we brought a lot of children into

the world who weren‟t really wanted.

In all of our struggle for freedom of every single kind you can imagine, we‟ve forgotten the fact that

raising children is more important than any other job on the planet, and until that gets reinforced—

not by some artificial, “It has to be a man and a woman,” or this, that, and the other, but by realizing

that it‟s got to be the primary responsibility of people in relationship to these young people‟s lives—

very little is going to change. The way we‟re operating with one another needs to shift; it‟s not the

doing-ness.

I: What does the word love mean to you now?

BC: It‟s not that the word love means something different to me. There has been a lot of

conversation that you can't talk about love. For example, in most public schools, it‟s taboo.

Superintendents say, “Don‟t talk about love—you‟ll get in trouble, lawsuits, etc.”

Youngsters need to know they‟re loved, period. What I mean by that is the same thing I mean in

relationship to my own children: I want you to have a meaningful, productive, contributory, joyous

life. I don‟t want food or shelter to be an issue. I care about you as a human being.

There is no scarcity of love. As a matter of fact, the more you do it, the more you‟re able to do it, and

the clearer you become in communicating to a person their value and worth in the world. We did a

demonstration program for the Department of Labor last summer, and there was a youngster that I

was interviewing for a spot in that program. About twenty minutes into the interview I asked, “You

don‟t have the experience at all that you‟re already valuable, do you?” This was about a fifteen year

old. She looked at me and burst into tears because no one had ever said to her that her value and

worth in the world was a given.

People need to know that, and we need to stop being concerned about words and focus on intentions.

Loving kindness is exactly what‟s wanted and needed.

I: Loving kindness doesn‟t sound like much of a problem solver. Why do you think it is so important?

BC: The majority of people don‟t see it as a problem solver because they don‟t experience it in their

own lives. It is absolutely a problem solver. If you want corporations to work well, have a team that

cares about each other and can tell the truth. If you want a school that functions well, have a faculty

that knows that its opinion is going to be valued. Operate with dignity and grace and loving kindness.

Loving kindness is a problem solver. The problem is that we don‟t hold it that way because we‟ve

heard about it for a long time, and we think it‟s something we can't get a handle on. That‟s not true.

Consider any person who has ever moved from, “I don‟t matter, I don‟t value myself,” to “I do

matter, and I‟m starting to produce results.” I‟ve asked thousands of people like that this question:

“What was present at the moment you were able to make that transition?” The answer in every case

but one was that first, there was an adult who absolutely cared about them, and second, they began

to make changes that allowed them to take charge of their own life. When those two things happen

simultaneously, all kinds of things become possible in people‟s lives.

I: Do people have to work with you in order to understand this work?

-53- (Continued next page.)

BC: Not in my experience. What they need to do is look inside to see whether or not they can access

that space of loving kindness, and then do everything they know how to do in order to stay in that

space on an ongoing basis.

Everything is a miracle. One of the things I discovered about fifteen years ago is that no matter

how well you may have thought out anything, you need to do self-care. Take some time every day to

recognize that we live in a miracle. The fact that you and I are breathing is a miracle. The fact that

we‟re able to communicate is a miracle.

Everything is interconnected. Everything you and I do has an impact. Jane Goodall said, “It isn't

whether you make a difference in life—everything we do makes a difference—the only question is

whether it‟s going to be positive or negative.”

The only thing I control today is how I’m going to be. The question is, “Is the way I‟m being

right at the moment useful, productive, contributory, etc.?” It‟s absolutely possible. I see places

where this is bubbling up all over the place.

What happened in Egypt was a group of people deciding that they wanted the world to be different,

and interestingly enough, the next country where it was tried got slapped down militarily because

people began to realize that there was no way to stop a group of people who had decided that

enough was enough.

I believe even though things look a little dark right at the moment that we‟re actually coming to a

place where people are able to see that Mahatma Gandhi and a few other people were pretty much

on target relative to loving kindness being the most important tool in the world. It can't be

manipulated, because it‟s either present or it‟s not.

I: How do you stay optimistic in the face of a world at war and in chaos?

BC: If we focus on what‟s not working, we can depress ourselves into next week pretty easily. You

have to stay and see what the reaction is to the work that you‟ve done.

The people who have been through the work I‟m talking about allow us to know that it‟s possible for

all people to do that. If I focus on what‟s been accomplished as opposed to what hasn‟t yet, I‟m able

to keep my equanimity. Why wouldn‟t I look toward the positive in life as opposed to looking at

what‟s not working?

Norman Vincent Peale had a great notion—The Power of Positive Thinking. If you add The Power of

Positive Thinking to the incredible force of loving kindness, what you get is unstoppable; it will

continue to have an impact on and on, just as it did in Egypt not long ago.

I: You talk a lot about self-care. What do you mean by self-care?

BC: A lot of people do things that are good for them. They run, they watch their diet, they do

whatever is constructive from their point of view. Self-care is getting focused every day on what the

reality is in terms of the opportunity.

I used to go to the ocean, and every time I went to the ocean, I automatically felt more peaceful, and

I began to analyze what that experience was like, because I realized that I wasn‟t always going to be

able to be by the ocean. The force of the ocean, unfortunately, has incredible power as demonstrated

in Japan, and the fact of the matter is, that force allows me to recognize that Mother Nature, God, the

force of all of that—however you choose to hold it—is so much bigger than we are. It‟s mind boggling.

The universe is expanding at 200 million miles a second. That‟s an inconceivable notion, but if I focus

on the miracle closest to me, which is you and I talking, or the fact that I have three bionic parts in

me—two artificial knees and an artificial hip— and I‟m without pain for the first time in forty years

which is a miracle to me, and if I recognize that everything is interconnected, then I can keep my

-54-

Bill Cumming continued . . .

attitude in good shape, because I don‟t have any expectations about what other people do. I‟m

focused on how I‟m managing myself.

Self-care is being consistent about managing myself and being disciplined in the way I go about that.

I: Why is what we do with children so critical?

BC: A lot of youngsters were born not because they were chosen or wanted, but because they simply

arrived as a result of other‟s activities. If a youngster does not feel valued, they begin to live out of

that self-fulfilling prophecy.

I have never talked to a group of prisoners who said, “Yes, as children, we were all well loved and

nurtured and felt good and everything was lovely.” They have nightmare stories—horror stories.

Don‟t get me wrong, it is not about blaming mom and dad. If those folks felt well about themselves,

they wouldn‟t have done what they did. What‟s important is that we make sure that youngsters at the

earliest possible age get into environments that are truly nurturing, creative, and inspired, because if

that gets cemented early on, it‟s much more likely that they‟ll be successful down the road.

I: What can people do to be part of the solution?

BC: First, they can make a decision right this second that that‟s what they want to do, and they can

work toward being in place of loving kindness.

Being in a place of loving kindness doesn‟t mean don‟t have standards, aren‟t thorough, aren‟t well

organized, or that we don‟t do an inspired job. It means being gracious to yourself and focusing on

the things that you can do, and not necessarily on the things that you can't do.

We started seriously working on the issue of world hunger about forty years ago. Bucky Fuller had

talked about sustainability all of his life and, God rest his soul, he pointed to the direction that it could

take. A lot of his thinking has gone into a great many solutions to end hunger; 45,000 people used to

die per day, needlessly, of hunger and starvation. That number is now down to 25,000 a day.

The entire death rate following the earthquake and tsunami in Japan is going to be about 25,000, and

I have absolute empathy for the souls that are touched by that and those that have been lost. That

number seems so staggering to most people in that context. As a society, we need to look at some

things that we can actually solve today that have to do with persistent hunger and starvation that

haven't been ended, not because we can't end them, but because we haven't made the decision.

Anyone can simply make a decision to be responsible for their own well being and to be in a place of

loving kindness toward other human beings. That will open up immediate doors for what the doing-

ness needs to be; it will be obvious.

-55-

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Agnès van Rhijn - Coach at CoheChange, France,

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Kim Avery

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Grow Forward Business Consulting Empowering small business, nonprofits

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~Until next month, wishing you success and creative Insights~

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Superstars who have shared their wisdom

and graced Insights Magazine Pages in 2010:

Dr. TC North, Dr. Sherry Buffington, Dr. Kevin Fleming, Susan Guiher, Ford Myers, Helen Kerrison Dr. Joan King, Lisa Murrell, Linda Claire Plug, Dr. Marshall Goldsmith, Peter Scherer, Gina Morgan, Milana Leshinsky, Kendall SummerHawk, Toni Reece, Michael Bungay Stanier, Rhonda Hess, Evelyn Kalinosky, Ann Farrell, Michael Neill, Jennifer Davey, Jennifer Wilkov, Ray Williams, Jan Kearce, Gary Henson, Dr. Judy Krings, Joshua Zuchter, Suzi Pomerantz, Viktor Grant, Dr. M. A. Greenstein, Dr. Conrad Milne, Kathy Esper, Susan Rae Baker, Dr. Richard Johnson, Dr. Relly Nadler, Jerry Moyer, Kathy Jo Slusher-Haas, Liz Cosline, Ran Zilca, Schelli Whitehouse, Paulette Rao, Angela Carr Patterson , Katherine Poehnert, Joyce Odidison, Tiamo, Suzanne Falter-Barns, Sharon Sayler, Marc Manieri, David Wood, Melinda Cohan, Lisa Bloom, Max Simon, Redia Anderson, Dr. Roxanne Howe-Murphy, Dr Matthew James, Jackie Lapin, Dr. Sharon Melnick, Diana Fletcher, Kathryn Troutman, Rev. Chavah Aima, Lou Bortone, Dr. Ann Deaton, JoAnne Ward, Sharla Jacobs and Jesse Koren, Donna Amos, Christian Mickelsen, Regena Thomashauser, Todd Newton, Kate Steinbacher, Bill Baron, Jayne Warrilow, Anne Wilson, Andrea Feinberg, Shayla Roberts, Kim Kirmmse Toth, Jane Perdue, Kim Ades, Michael Port, Dr. Cathy Greenberg, Marsha Wieder, Ali Brown, Dr. Candice Smithyman, Dr. Deepak Chopra, Jack Canfield, Jim Stovall, Cheryl Richardson, Michael Gerber, and Rev. Dr. Iyanla Vanzant. A special “Thank You” to media personality, the wonderful Stacey Chadwell! More about Insights Magazine: http://www.getei.com/insights.html