Instruction Manual AssignmentDirections, Suggestions, Collections, Inspections, and Expectations

The Method to my Madness

I was watching my son play in a laundry basket while watching some cartoons on Nickelodeon and talking like a pirate. Something about the whole situation struck me as meaningful, important, funny, amazing, and significant-all at once.

-It was just a 20 second part of my day but there was something striking about it…

I then tried to think about why I was struck by the scene

Why would a 2 year old in a laundry basket talking like a pirate literally stop me in my tracks?

How could I go about describing the significance of that event to my family, friends, my students, my Twitter followers using ONLY literal language.

What if I had to make an instruction manual for my emotions?

What if I had to describe the physical situation, my response to that situation, my efforts to describe that situation, and my suggestions so that you too could feel the way I felt… using ONLY literal language?

Step 1: Obtain a Two Year Old Male Child. Be Sure Child is Procured Legally. If the Child Must be Obtained Through Theft, be Sure to Obfuscate and/or Eliminate Any Evidence You May Have Left At the Crime Scene

Step 2: Be Sure to leave Abandoned Laundry Baskets Around Your Domicile.

Step 3: When Time Permits, Place Aforementioned Stolen Toddler Inside Laundry Basket. Push Said Male Child Around Domicile. Exclaim Loudly, “What Does a Pirate Say”. Reward Child For Acceptable Responses Such as “Arrr” and “Walk The Plank”. Cookies are Acceptable Tools With Which to Coerce Acceptable Responses.

Step 4: Expose the Aforementioned Male Child to Countless Hours of Pirate-Oriented Umizoomi Episodes Wherein General Pirate Behavior is Reinforced

Step 5: Leave Room. Be Sure Pirate Umizoomie Episode, Laundry Basket, and Stolen 2 Year Old Inhabit Proximal Living Space

Step 6: Observe the Interaction Between Stolen Child and Laundry Basket. By this Time Your Domestic Partner May Also Attempt to Persuade you to Fill Said Laundry Basket With Recently Laundered and Folded Laundry.

Step 7: Resist All Requests From Domestic Partner Calling for you to “Be Responsible”. To Help the Process, You May Want to Observe the Developing Interactions Between Stolen Two Year Old and Laundry Basket

Step 8: Feel Peculiar Warmth in Heart. The Corners of Your Mouth May Lift Upward Into a Smile-This is Common. Breath May be Expelled Through this “Smile” Into Noise Shaped Like “Ha Ha”. Tiny Bumps May Form on Forearms Each Time Two Years Old Says, “Arrr.”

Step 9: Attempt to Explain to Domestic Partner That Her Further Laundry-Related Instructions Will Most Likely Not Be Fulfilled For at Least 18 Hours

Step 10: Join Aforementioned 2 Year old in “Play”. “Walk Plank” If Instructed (Be Sure to Follow Only the Instructions of Stolen Two year Old. Be Careful Not to Use Laundry Basket for Intended Purposes-At This Point A Laundry Basket Should Only Serve to Expedite Pirate-Based Functions

Step 11: Devise Assignments for Young, Urban Teens Designed to Force them To Explicate Emotions Based on Literal Language. Just Like Wife-Based Directives, Figurative Language Will not Be Accepted or Tolerated.

Step 12: Inform Each Students That He Must Select a Recent Episode From His Life Wherein A Deep Emotional Reaction Was Rendered From a Stimulus And Create an Instruction Manual Based on that Event

Step 13: Students Must Describe in at Least 10 Steps The Situation That Triggered The Reaction

Step 14: The Students Must Describe the Ensuing Bodily, Emotional, Spiritual Reaction to Said Stimulus Using Only Literal Language

Step 15: The Student Must Include At Least Five Illustrations In the Instruction Manual

Step 16: Anticipate Copious Amounts of Questions From Said Teens. Answer those Questions and Assuage Doubts. Reassure Newly Troubled Youth Understand that Creativity Counts.

Step 17: Further Explicate the Expected Method of Handing In Previously Described Assignment. Answer: You May Type this Out, Come up With a PowerPoint, or Otherwise Devise Some Effective, Visually-Oriented Vehicle From Transmitting the Product.

i.e.….Make a Video

Make a PowerPoint

Make a Handout

Make a Skit Employing Other Recently Burdened Youth

Make a Word Document

You MustWrite a one paragraph (at least)

reflection paper describing the process of creating the instruction manual. Discuss initial fear and trepidation and explicate the process.

You Must AlsoWrite a poem, short story, song, or

other creative piece wherein you employ figurative language in order to describe same experience.

Extra Credit will be Given to students who present their instruction manual to the class-in whatever form that manual exists

RubricOut of 200 Points Total (This is a major grade for MP

2)

100 points-Finished Instruction Manual40 Points-Reflection Paper40 Points-Figurative Translation20 Points-Overall Effort in Completing the Task_______Plus Extra Credit.

This assignment will be 20% of your second MP grade

Due Tuesday, October 15th