Interpersonal Communication

Interpersonal Communication

Communication between two persons that involves the sending and receiving of messages with some effect and some opportunity for feedback that leads to the development of a variable relationship.

• Interpersonal communication is a special form of unmediated human communication that occurs when we interact simultaneously with another person and attempt to mutually influence each other, usually for the purpose of managing relationships.

Communication Principles

Be aware of yourcommunication

Appropriatelyadapt yourmessage to

others

Effectively use and

interpret verbalmessages

Listen and respond

thoughtfully to others

Effectively use and interpret

nonverbalmessages

•Contact--sense of perception of another person; decide whether you want to maintain a relationship with this person

•Involvement--acquaintance; commit to getting to know the other person and self-disclosing

•Intimacy--commit further to the relationship; reserved for very few people

•Deterioration--bonds begin to weaken between parties in a relationship; less time spent and more awkward exchanges

•Repair--attempts to save a relationship through interpersonal and intrapersonal care

•Dissolution--cutting the bonds that tie a relationship; separate life established apart from the other person

Interpersonal Communication

Six Stage Relationship Model

Models of Self-Disclosure

The Social Penetration Model

Chapter 7: Understanding Interpersonal Communication

Superficial

Early in a relationship

Intimate

VeryIntimate

As the relationship develops

VeryIntimate

Initiating Relationships• Interpersonal Attraction Defined

– degree to which you desire to form or maintain an IP relationship

TWO STAGES OF ATTRACTION

• Short-Term Initial Attraction– potential for development

• Long-Term Maintenance Attraction– sustains relationships

Chapter 7: Understanding Interpersonal Communication

Reasons for Relationship Development

•Lessening loneliness

•Securing stimulation

•Acquiring self-knowledge

•Maximizing pleasures/minimizing pains

•Attractiveness--whether or not you want to get to know the person; physical and personality considerations

•Proximity--physical distance influences the development of relationships

•Reinforcement--we like people who reward or reinforce us

•Similarity--we generally like people who are similar to us in nationality, race, physical characteristics, intelligence, and especially attitudes and preferences

•Complementarily--people are attracted to dissimilar others in certain situations

Interpersonal Attraction

Relationship Deterioration

Gradual or sudden

May be advantageous

Why do relationships deteriorate?

Reasons for establishing relationship have diminished

Third-party relationships

Relational changes

Undefined expectations

Work

Financial difficulties

Inequitable distribution of rewards and costs

Commitment--financial, temporal, emotional

Communication during deterioration

withdrawal

decline in self-disclosure

deception

evaluative responses

request behaviors

favor exchange

Conflict ManagementDuring interpersonal conflict, we are least likely to pause, analyze the situation, and evaluate the strategies that might prove most relevant.

Unproductive Conflict Management

•Avoidance-actual, physical flight

•Non-negotiation-refusal to discuss or listen to the other person

•Redefinition-recast the conflict so it becomes a totally different issue

•Force-attempting to coerce a decision or way of thinking through physical means

Unproductive Conflict Management

•Minimization-dealing with conflict by making light of it

•Blame-flight strategy that diverts focus from the issue

•Silencers-fighting techniques that silence the other (i.e. crying, yelling, hyperventilating

•Gunnysacking-storing up grievances and then unloading them on the person

•Manipulation-divert the conflict by being charming (disarming)

•Personal Rejection -withholding love and affection in an attempt to break the other person

Conflict Management

How do you manage conflict effectively?

Fight above the belt

Take responsibility for your thoughts and feelings

Be direct and specific

Use humor for relief, not ridicule

Conversational Competence

Managing Conversation• Mindfulness• Flexibility• Cultural sensitivity

Skills

• Openness

• Empathy

• Positiveness

• Immediacy

• Interaction management

• Expressiveness

• Other-orientation