MAKING A POINT

DISCUSSION #1 (READ STEPS FOR WRITERS)

1. What is the main function of first paragraph (introduction) in one essay?

2. Is it reasonable to begin with thesis statement in first sentence?

3. What is Three-Step Design? And what is the function of each step?

4. How many lead-in types can you choose to start with your essay and capture your readers’ attention?

INTRODUCTORY PARAGRAPH

Introduction is an important part of an essay. A good introduction can arouse readers’ interests, attention, or tension in your essay from the start, which will make them want to continue reading and keep curious. The introduction is the first part of your essay that your audience will read, and it's important to make a good first impression.

There are three main purposes that introduction deal with:

to spark the interest of readers (lead-in)

to move readers toward the thesis statement (tie-in)

to present the thesis statement of the essay (thesis statement)

How would you feel if you knew, at this moment, that some criminal is writing your name, address, and Social Security number on credit card applications and plans to charge thousands of dollars worth of merchandise on those credit cards? More importantly, how do you know that this is not happening?(Lead-in) Millions of people have become victims of identity theft, and they often find out only after thousands of dollars have been stolen using their names.(tie-in) Identity theft is a serious problem that claims millions of innocent victims, and the government must implement better regulations to help put an end to this crime.(thesis statement)

Structure of Introductory Paragraph

(Lead-in, tie-in, thesis statement.)

PRACTICEIDENTIFY LEAD-IN APPROACHES

• There are five main Lead-in types:

• A question

• A quotation

• A short , thought-provoking statement

• A surprising fact or statistics

• A problem

Directions: Each of the introduction samples below presents the same thesis statement: “Identity theft is a serious problem that claims millions of innocent victims, and the government must implement better regulations to help put an end to this crime.” Please identify what the lead-in type of each introduction sample is, and identify tie-in.

SAMPLE 1

• In Shakespeare's Othello, Iago claims that he "who steals my purse steals trash / . . . But he that filches from me my good name / Robs me of that which not enriches him, / And makes me poor indeed" (3.3.157-161). Today, identity theft is a new way that thieves steal both the "purses" and the good names of innocent victims, and these thieves are enriching themselves at the expense of their victims. Identity theft is a serious problem that claims millions of innocent victims, and the government must implement better regulations to help put an end to this crime.

SAMPLE 2

• Identity fraud is the fastest growing crime in the United States. In 2004, over nine million Americans, or approximately one person in 24, became victims of identity fraud or identity theft, at a cost to the economy of 52.6 billion dollars ("2005 Identity Fraud Survey Report"). Because many cases of identity fraud and identity theft may go unreported, the numbers could be even higher. Identity theft is a serious problem that claims millions of innocent victims, and the government must implement better regulations to help put an end to this crime.

SAMPLE 3

• Joe Stevens was finally ready to purchase a home. He spent years putting money into a savings account, paid off his credit cards, and diligently paid every bill on time. Confident of his good credit rating, Joe visited the bank to inquire about a mortgage, but he discovered startling information: Joe defaulted on a home loan, had $40,000 in credit card debt, and had a car repossessed for lack of payment. Joe Stevens, like many Americans, is a victim of identity theft. Instead of preparing to move into a new home, Joe began the long journey to restore his good name and to reclaim his identity. Identity theft is a serious problem that claims millions of innocent victims, and the government must implement better regulations to help put an end to this crime.

SAMPLE 4

• How would you feel if you knew, at this moment, that some criminal is writing your name, address, and Social Security number on credit card applications and plans to charge thousands of dollars worth of merchandise on those credit cards? More importantly, how do you know that this is not happening? Millions of people have become victims of identity theft, and they often find out only after thousands of dollars have been stolen using their names. Identity theft is a serious problem that claims millions of innocent victims, and the government must implement better regulations to help put an end to this crime.

KEYS

• Sample one is quotation lead-in type.

• Sample two is surprising fact/statistics lead-in type.

• Sample three is short, thought-provoking statement lead-in type.

• Sample four is question lead-in type.

1. WEAK VS STRONG THESIS STATEMENTS

Eating fast food is bad and should be avoided.

THESIS STATEMENT SHOULD BE SPECIFIC AND FOCUSED.

• Explanation: The first thesis statement is too general and would be nearly impossible for you to defend. It leaves a lot of big questions to answer. Is all fast food bad? Why is it bad? Who should avoid it? Why should anyone care?

• How about this:

Americans should reduce the regular consumption of fast food because the fast food diet leads to preventable and expensive health issues, such as diabetes, obesity, and heart disease.

2. WEAK VS STRONG THESIS STATEMENT

•Secondhand smoke is bad and can cause heart disease and cancer; therefore, smoking should be outlawed in public places, but outlawing smoking is unfair to smokers so maybe non-smokers can just hold their breath or wear masks around smokers instead.

THESIS STATEMENT SHOULD PICK ONE SIDE

• Explanation: The second thesis statement will make readers confused. Whether does the author support smoking law or reject it? The author did not clarify it.

• How about this:

Secondhand smoke is just as harmful as smoking and leads to a higher prevalence of cancer and heart disease. What’s worse, people who inhale secondhand smoke are doing so without consent. For this reason, smoking in any public place should be banned.

3. WEAK VS STRONG THESIS STATEMENT

There are high numbers of homeless people living in Berkeley, California.

THESIS STATEMENT SHOULD BE DEBATABLE.

• Explanation: The third thesis statement is a fact. It cannot give the rest of essay any guideline, and it cannot convey what the main idea is in this essay.

How about this:

Homeless people in Berkeley should be given access to services, such as regular food donations, public restrooms, and camping facilities, because it would improve life for all inhabitants of the city.

SUMMARY OF THESIS STATEMENT

• Thesis statement is one or two complete sentences that express your main position on a given topic.

• Strong thesis statement should be specific, focused, debatable, and take a position.

Practice:Finish steps for Writers page.23 Intermediate Exercise: Thesis Statement