Jim’s RULES forJim’s RULES for

Keeping your computer Keeping your computer running with minimum running with minimum

problemsproblems

Finagle’s LawFinagle’s Law

AKA – Finagle’s corollary to Murphy’s AKA – Finagle’s corollary to Murphy’s LawLaw

Main Rendering: Main Rendering: Anything that can Anything that can go wrong, will – at the worst go wrong, will – at the worst possible momentpossible moment..

Murphy’s Law – Anything that can go Murphy’s Law – Anything that can go wrong will wrong will (Some sources credit this as (Some sources credit this as Sod’s Law).Sod’s Law).

Originally credited to John W. Campbell, Originally credited to John W. Campbell, Jr. leading Science Fiction editor.Jr. leading Science Fiction editor.

Closely RelatedClosely Related

Hanlon’s Razor: Never attribute to Hanlon’s Razor: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity (or ignorance).explained by stupidity (or ignorance).

Hofstatder’s Law: It always takes Hofstatder’s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstatder’s you take into account Hofstatder’s Law.Law.

Sturgeon’s Revelation: Ninety percent Sturgeon’s Revelation: Ninety percent of everything is crud.of everything is crud.

The Principle of The Principle of ResistentialismResistentialism

ResistentialismResistentialism is a jocular theory in is a jocular theory in which inanimate objects display which inanimate objects display hostile desires towards human beings.hostile desires towards human beings.

The slogan of Resistentialism is "The slogan of Resistentialism is "Les Les choses sont contre nouschoses sont contre nous" -- "Things " -- "Things are against us".are against us".

Also referred to as Maglignity or Also referred to as Maglignity or Maglinance, and described as “the Maglinance, and described as “the perversity of inanimate objects.”perversity of inanimate objects.”

Paying careful attention to Paying careful attention to the effects of these Laws and the effects of these Laws and Revelations can and will Revelations can and will improve your chances of improve your chances of having a “Nice Day,” defined having a “Nice Day,” defined as a day with no computer as a day with no computer crashes nor problems.crashes nor problems.

In this presentation, we will:In this presentation, we will:

– analyze a large number of analyze a large number of Computer User Behaviors which Computer User Behaviors which wholehartedly invite these Laws wholehartedly invite these Laws and Revelations to do their worst and Revelations to do their worst to us, and to us, and

– press for complete mental and press for complete mental and physical changes within ourselves physical changes within ourselves in order to reduce the chance of in order to reduce the chance of adverse effect.adverse effect.

Always remember Always remember and apply that and apply that

famous saying of famous saying of Pogo:Pogo:

The FIRST Major Cause of The FIRST Major Cause of ProblemsProblems

Service Rep:Service Rep: “Was it working before?” “Was it working before?” Customer:Customer: “Yes.” “Yes.” Service Rep:Service Rep: “Did you change “Did you change

anything?”anything?” Customer:Customer: “Yes.” “Yes.”

WARNING – EPIC FAIL!!!!!!! WARNING – EPIC FAIL!!!!!!! VIOLATION OF Hanlon’s VIOLATION OF Hanlon’s Razor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Razor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cason’s Corollary #000001Cason’s Corollary #000001

If something is working If something is working properly – LEAVE IT ALONE!properly – LEAVE IT ALONE!

Violation of this Corollary has a 99.57% Violation of this Corollary has a 99.57% chance of causing chaos,chance of causing chaos,

If one is considering violating this If one is considering violating this Corollary, one should immediately refer Corollary, one should immediately refer to expert advice of Hanlon’s Razor.to expert advice of Hanlon’s Razor.

No – you cannot blame it on No – you cannot blame it on your catsyour cats

The theory that “if one is good The theory that “if one is good …”…”

User has:User has:– eight different free anti-virus programs, eight different free anti-virus programs, – seven different free anti-spyware programs, seven different free anti-spyware programs, – nine different free “registry cleaners” nine different free “registry cleaners”

all on one computer – all on one computer – then wonders why it works as well as then wonders why it works as well as

molasses pours outside in Vermont in molasses pours outside in Vermont in February.February.

Violation of both Hanlon’s Law and Violation of both Hanlon’s Law and Sturgeon’s Revelation.Sturgeon’s Revelation.

The theory that Free The theory that Free automatically is = to real goodautomatically is = to real good

Introducing another law: Heinlen’s Introducing another law: Heinlen’s

Postulate; Postulate; TANSTAAFLTANSTAAFL ““There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch.”There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch.” TANSTAAFL indicates an acknowledgment TANSTAAFL indicates an acknowledgment

that in reality a person or a society cannot that in reality a person or a society cannot get "something for nothing". Even if get "something for nothing". Even if something appears to be free, there is something appears to be free, there is always a cost to the person or to society as always a cost to the person or to society as a whole even though that cost may be a whole even though that cost may be hidden or distributed. hidden or distributed.

If you MUST …..If you MUST …..

Sometimes, the need for additional Sometimes, the need for additional functions really does require that one functions really does require that one ADD new software to a functioning ADD new software to a functioning computer.computer.

The first danger from this is changing a The first danger from this is changing a functioning computer to a non-functioning computer to a non-functioning computer.functioning computer.

If one If one frequentlyfrequently has these urges to has these urges to ADD software, perhaps one should ADD software, perhaps one should consider mild electro-shock therapy???consider mild electro-shock therapy???

I really MUST …I really MUST … OK – this is one of those occasions when OK – this is one of those occasions when

software really must be added – what now?software really must be added – what now? COMPLETE SYSTEM BACKUP with a known and COMPLETE SYSTEM BACKUP with a known and

tested backup solution BEFORE installation.tested backup solution BEFORE installation. (of course – doing this is a circular loop (of course – doing this is a circular loop

problem – one MUST install backup software problem – one MUST install backup software BEFORE one CAN install the added software – BEFORE one CAN install the added software – yet another chance for Murphy’s Law to yet another chance for Murphy’s Law to strike.)strike.)

However – must realize that there is SOME However – must realize that there is SOME risk in all activity – once backup software is risk in all activity – once backup software is installed and tested, it will be there for any installed and tested, it will be there for any future additions.future additions.

Did you back up ?Did you back up ?

Recommended BackupRecommended Backup Acronis 2011 (club discount price) software Acronis 2011 (club discount price) software

– easy to use, effective.– easy to use, effective. External or added internal hard drive large External or added internal hard drive large

enough to store several complete system enough to store several complete system backups. Plus an extra hard drive for the backups. Plus an extra hard drive for the test.test.

Boot CD made from Acronis.Boot CD made from Acronis. TEST – Perform complete system backup, TEST – Perform complete system backup,

remove HD from computer, install test HD, remove HD from computer, install test HD, boot from CD, do complete restore – does it boot from CD, do complete restore – does it work? If not – fix problem, rinse and repeat.work? If not – fix problem, rinse and repeat.

Did you backup Did you backup Everything??Everything??

But, but, but, butt, buttttt …But, but, but, butt, buttttt …

““Well, Winders already has a System Well, Winders already has a System Restore – ain’t that enuf protection?”Restore – ain’t that enuf protection?”

WARNING – EPIC FAIL!!!!! Violation of WARNING – EPIC FAIL!!!!! Violation of Finagle’s Law (and others)!!!!!Finagle’s Law (and others)!!!!!

System Restore is a very useful feature, System Restore is a very useful feature, but – remember Malignity.but – remember Malignity.

When a virus or malware hits – System When a virus or malware hits – System Restore MAY clear it, but a Restore from a Restore MAY clear it, but a Restore from a time prior to the virus’ introduction DOES time prior to the virus’ introduction DOES clear it.clear it.

Still want to Install ??Still want to Install ??

E-mail – the bane of the E-mail – the bane of the modern agemodern age

What to do if you get an email that starts out What to do if you get an email that starts out with: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: “anything”with: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: “anything”

DELETE it immediately – DELETE it immediately – ALWAYS.ALWAYS.

Why? Combination of Sturgeon’s Revelation Why? Combination of Sturgeon’s Revelation and Hanlon’s Razor – the email has already and Hanlon’s Razor – the email has already been forwarded seven times – the chances been forwarded seven times – the chances are now 99.999997% that it is crap – and it are now 99.999997% that it is crap – and it probably has a web bug buried in it to steal probably has a web bug buried in it to steal information from your computer and send it information from your computer and send it back to nefarious organizations.back to nefarious organizations.

What to do - #1What to do - #1 A modestly priced (not free) program for Windows A modestly priced (not free) program for Windows

machines that is very helpful in email issues is machines that is very helpful in email issues is “Mailwasher Pro.”“Mailwasher Pro.”

The regular email program is set so that it NEVER The regular email program is set so that it NEVER picks up mail, and Mailwasher is used as a “front picks up mail, and Mailwasher is used as a “front end” for the mail program.end” for the mail program.

Mailwasher is deliberately incapable of rendering Mailwasher is deliberately incapable of rendering any HTML, Java, or anything but text information. any HTML, Java, or anything but text information. It can also be trained to recognise spam and mail It can also be trained to recognise spam and mail from undesirable users (including those who from undesirable users (including those who refuse to practice safe computing), and flag them refuse to practice safe computing), and flag them for deletion (or even automatically delete them).for deletion (or even automatically delete them).

At this point in time, approximately 80% of the At this point in time, approximately 80% of the emails that I receive are automatically flagged for emails that I receive are automatically flagged for deletion (started lower, but it is approaching deletion (started lower, but it is approaching Sturgeon’s Revelation.Sturgeon’s Revelation.

What to do - #2What to do - #2 Don’t be a victim of Hanlon’s RazorDon’t be a victim of Hanlon’s Razor Don’t EVER forward something just because Don’t EVER forward something just because

someone tells you to “forward to all your someone tells you to “forward to all your friends,” or “you will have bad luck if you friends,” or “you will have bad luck if you don’t forward to at least five people.” don’t forward to at least five people.” DELETE it. If the same people persist – DELETE it. If the same people persist – DELETE all their emails – they fail the Razor DELETE all their emails – they fail the Razor test.test.

Email Polls – there is no chance of influencing Email Polls – there is no chance of influencing legislation from email polls – considering legislation from email polls – considering them is banned by Federal and State law.them is banned by Federal and State law.

People who continue to use old People who continue to use old Operating SystemsOperating Systems

You should not accept communication You should not accept communication nor any files – EVER – from ANYONE nor any files – EVER – from ANYONE who is still using Windows 95, 98, ME, who is still using Windows 95, 98, ME, 2000. All these operating systems are 2000. All these operating systems are completely un-supported, NO security completely un-supported, NO security patches are being added. Their patches are being added. Their chance of infection is 90% or higher chance of infection is 90% or higher (Sturgeon’s Revelation). Friends don’t (Sturgeon’s Revelation). Friends don’t let friends keep using Windows 98.let friends keep using Windows 98.

Duh – I’ll install Linux …..Duh – I’ll install Linux ….. I’m not knocking Linux – most modern I’m not knocking Linux – most modern

distributions install VERY easily, and work well – distributions install VERY easily, and work well – UNTIL something happens (like installing UNTIL something happens (like installing something where a script goes wrong).something where a script goes wrong).

Linux does not use a “Registry” like Windows. Linux does not use a “Registry” like Windows. Neither did the early versions of Windows. Neither did the early versions of Windows. Literally HUNDREDS of arcane text based Literally HUNDREDS of arcane text based initialization and configuration files are used. initialization and configuration files are used. When something goes wrong – unless you are a When something goes wrong – unless you are a REAL Linux guru – you will likely have to format REAL Linux guru – you will likely have to format and reinstall to make it work again.and reinstall to make it work again.

Many service organizations (like my company) do Many service organizations (like my company) do not provide Linux support – for several reasons.not provide Linux support – for several reasons.

Using Windows Explorer to Using Windows Explorer to copy or move files/directoriescopy or move files/directories

DANGER, Will RobinsonDANGER, Will Robinson It is EXTREMELY easy to jiggle the mouse a It is EXTREMELY easy to jiggle the mouse a

little wrong, or the hand shakes a little and little wrong, or the hand shakes a little and the button releases at the wrong time.the button releases at the wrong time.

Your files or directories went SOMEWHERE Your files or directories went SOMEWHERE – but where???– but where???

I have added a Windows Explorer ICON on I have added a Windows Explorer ICON on my desktop, so that I can open TWO my desktop, so that I can open TWO Explorer Windows – COPY the files from Explorer Windows – COPY the files from one Windows, then PASTE them in the one Windows, then PASTE them in the other Window. Yes – I do this because I’ve other Window. Yes – I do this because I’ve lost stuff too, and had to find it.lost stuff too, and had to find it.

Out-of-date or non-existent Out-of-date or non-existent Anti-Virus ProtectionAnti-Virus Protection

If I had my way – people who don’t keep If I had my way – people who don’t keep good and up-to-date A/V protection on good and up-to-date A/V protection on their computers would be forcibly their computers would be forcibly disconnected from the Internet by the disconnected from the Internet by the network providers. Same principle as network providers. Same principle as leaving the back door open all night (but leaving the back door open all night (but some of us do that too).some of us do that too).

NO REPUTABLE COMPANY still makes a NO REPUTABLE COMPANY still makes a good workable A/V for Windows 9x, which good workable A/V for Windows 9x, which is also compromised by non-support.is also compromised by non-support.

My Toolbar (or ??) My Toolbar (or ??) disappeareddisappeared

Oh, where, oh where, can my toolbar be?Oh, where, oh where, can my toolbar be? #1 – did it work before?#1 – did it work before? #2 – did you change something?#2 – did you change something? #3 – #3 – DUH – VIOLATION – Hanlon’s Razor is DUH – VIOLATION – Hanlon’s Razor is

unforgiving!unforgiving! #4 - TRY checking the View Menu – #4 - TRY checking the View Menu –

frequently whatever got lost can be gotten frequently whatever got lost can be gotten back.back.

#5 - If NOT – Where is your Acronis #5 - If NOT – Where is your Acronis Complete Backup?? Don’t have one – Complete Backup?? Don’t have one – INFINITE LOOP TO #3.INFINITE LOOP TO #3.

FREE Smilies – Wallpaper – FREE Smilies – Wallpaper – Screen Savers – etc.Screen Savers – etc.

YES – The Razor strikes again.YES – The Razor strikes again. One of the most successful methods One of the most successful methods

of propagating malware today is sites of propagating malware today is sites offering free Smilies, wallpaper, offering free Smilies, wallpaper, screen savers, and that sort of thing.screen savers, and that sort of thing.

My granddaughter’s computer My granddaughter’s computer suddenly began redirecting all suddenly began redirecting all searches from Google (where I had searches from Google (where I had set it) through a shopping search set it) through a shopping search site. She had downloaded a “cute” site. She had downloaded a “cute” screen saver – and Malware Bytes screen saver – and Malware Bytes complete scan removed over 250 complete scan removed over 250 infected objects. Even a non-infected objects. Even a non-administrative user can typically administrative user can typically install such items, which is why the install such items, which is why the writers of malware are effectively writers of malware are effectively using it. REMEMBER Heinlen’s using it. REMEMBER Heinlen’s TANSTAAFL!TANSTAAFL!

Keep your “friends” close …Keep your “friends” close … “… “… and your enemies closer.”and your enemies closer.” There has been an explosion recently in “Social There has been an explosion recently in “Social

Networking Sites.”Networking Sites.” How much of YOUR personal information is How much of YOUR personal information is

posted on them???? HUH ?????posted on them???? HUH ????? Can you REALLY pretend that the people who Can you REALLY pretend that the people who

have “friended” you that you DON’T EVEN KNOW have “friended” you that you DON’T EVEN KNOW are your friends?are your friends?

If you send me an “invitation” to Facebook, or If you send me an “invitation” to Facebook, or any of the other sites, you’d better also send me any of the other sites, you’d better also send me a REAL email address if you expect to ever get a a REAL email address if you expect to ever get a reply from me. I’m not a TWIT, and I don’t reply from me. I’m not a TWIT, and I don’t “Twitter.” “Twitter.”

Social? NetworkingSocial? Networking

Updating Windows itselfUpdating Windows itself

Win 9x – Win 7 – old computer is like Win 9x – Win 7 – old computer is like carrying a penknife to a gun fight.carrying a penknife to a gun fight.

Win 2k – Win 7 – like carrying a Win 2k – Win 7 – like carrying a switchblade to a gun fight.switchblade to a gun fight.

Win XP – Win 7 – like carrying a Win XP – Win 7 – like carrying a sword to a gun fight.sword to a gun fight.

Win Vista – Win 7 – Good to goWin Vista – Win 7 – Good to go Beyond Windows 7 - ?????Beyond Windows 7 - ?????

Think you got troubles now Think you got troubles now ……

Only the Programmers can Only the Programmers can access this screen …access this screen …

Hardware for the Truly Hardware for the Truly CluelessClueless

Why did I click on that link??Why did I click on that link??

Think before clicking!Think before clicking!

According to recent statistics, about According to recent statistics, about 55,000 hostile malware web pages a 55,000 hostile malware web pages a DAY are being created!DAY are being created!

Where do YOU want to go today?Where do YOU want to go today?

Sometimes, you eat the bear, Sometimes, you eat the bear, sometimes the bear ….sometimes the bear ….

Content produced by: Jim CasonContent produced by: Jim Cason Promised LAN Computing, Inc.Promised LAN Computing, Inc. 4703 Carolina Avenue4703 Carolina Avenue Trent Woods, NC 28562Trent Woods, NC 28562 (252) 636 - 0407(252) 636 - 0407 http://www.promlancomp.comhttp://www.promlancomp.com jcason@promlancomp.comjcason@promlancomp.com