Key stage 3 English Writing

Presentation 4:Sentence Structure and Punctuation 

Analysis of pupil performance 2004

Aims of the session   To introduce the implications for

teaching and learning for AFs 5 and 6 and for each level.

  To illustrate these with examples from pupils’ scripts.

Assessment focuses for Sentence Structure andPunctuation (SSP)

• AF5: vary sentences for clarity purpose and effect

• AF6: write with technical accuracy of syntax and punctuation in phrases, clauses and sentences.

AF5 Implication for teaching and learning for Levels 4 to 5  

Help pupils to:Vary connectives in complex sentences to show the relationships between events or ideas eg to link cause and effect. AF5

They all went to sleep until the phone rang john answer the phone hello is that john Hinton yes said john

• ‘Until’ clarifies sequence of events more precisely than ‘but’ and ‘so’

No one knows how they got inside the bank or how he or they was even able to move so much tons of gold.

• Repeated ‘how’ and ‘even’ link ideas

Well it all started when the Hinton’s called me to get there diamonds back so I rushed round there like a cat getting out of the rain.

• Detail of security systems used to evaluate situation

another alternative is to keep doing things with your friends outside of school, but when your in school ask your teacher if she could help you with your work is suffering.another option is to do courses outside of school (like at weekends or holidays) that will help you with your school work

• ‘Another alternative’, ‘another option’ give sense of build-up

AF6 Implication for teaching and learning for Levels 4 to 5 Help pupils to:Recognise sentence boundaries and demarcate them accurately. AF6

one night they all went to bed. when suddenly they heard a noise coming from downstairs any way they left it and went on to sleep when they heard a window smash  

• Inability to use full stops correctly?

“Thanks John. I am going to look around the mansion. Before I forget. Did you send any men and dogs to look in the woods?”, asked D.I. Grouse

• Inverted commas and question mark aid clarity; overuse of full stops makes the dialogue awkward to read

 

Is she right? Is your work suffering? 

• Questions used to help set agenda

“Mummy, Mummy!” Cryed Jonathon. “I can’t find my money, it was on my desk, I haven’t seen it since Friday!” Jonathon began to weep.“3 days ago? Friday was 3 days ago!” Mrs Hinton murmered to herself.” “Go upstairs dear.” She said. Jonathon went.

• Exclamation marks used to express alarm/urgency; question mark used to emphasise repetition

• Some comma-splicing

• Secure use of short sentence punctuation at end.

AF5 Implication for teaching and learning for Levels 5 to 6 Help pupils to:Vary the length and structure of sentences for effect, eg to change pace, to emphasise or contrast points. AF5

 “We’ll take these down to the station and see if we can find out who your thief is”

• Conditional clause adds speculation to story

I was sitting in my office all alone, sorting out my financal problems when all could hear was the bare tree’s beating against my window.

• Subordinate clause used for atmospheric description

“I’ll need to speak to you inside, while the police search the woods.”

• Shift of subject from main clause to advance plot

you like your new friends but your work is getting worse because you’re spending too much time with them,

• Compound complex sentence to explore options

As you can see there are more benefits of school then friends, but friends are still important.

• Fronted clause clarifies position

AF6 Implication for teaching and learning for Levels 5 to 6 Help pupils to:Use a range of punctuation consistently, including commas to mark phrases, semi-colons, possessive apostrophes. AF6

“yes, yes I understand I’ll be down as soon as I can!” he bellowed loudly.The D.I. is a dosy old man to tell the truth, harmless of course. Everyday he combs his grey wiry hair in his favourite side-part, his plump, rosy cheeks smooth and pink.

• Range of effective punctuation keeps structure under control

• Exclamation and question marks used to provoke a reaction

Or maybe these friends do bad school work and are influencing you in a bad way perhaps? If so, do not lose consentration, try!

• Range of punctuation, including appositional comma to enhance emphasis

The school party was said to be the best yet! Everyone said that each person had to bring something to liven the party up, or we weren’t allowed in. People brought party poppers, balloons, so I brought a can of shaving foam. Everybody was really excited about everything, especially my surprise.

AF5 Implication for teaching and learning for Levels 6 to 7

Help pupils to:

Vary clause and sentence structures for emphasis and effect, eg expanded noun phrases for succinct detail, fronted clauses for emphasis. AF5

• Noun phrase incorporating a participle

the main detective running this investigation

• Adverbial phrase fronting narrative

 In the shadows of the room,

• Range of descriptive words and phrases used

who could have known the code to his three door lazer reactive safe, he had only told the family members that he was close to but what if someone let it slip. Maria, John Hiltons wife of thirty five years came into his study

• Noun phrases create a balanced sentence

The important thing is to find a balance between work and having fun!

AF6 Implication for teaching and learning for Levels 6 to 7

Help pupils to:

Use the full range of punctuation to achieve clarity, to control the development of events and ideas, and guide readers’ responses. AF6

• Pair of commas used to separate additional information for clarity

It all began when I was in my office at the station, eating a cream cake, when my partner in crime (Billy) knocked on the door.

• Full stops demarcate the effective short sentence

Suddenly, a floorboard creaked behind him. He spun round where he saw a shadow just disappearing round the corner. He thought for a moment. Then ran as fast as he could following the noise of creaking floorboards. He was too late.

When I was in school. I had to move school as we were moving house. I was distraught. I hated it. But then I met some new friends and I was so happy. But my grades were going down.

• The effective short sentence overdone

Consider these two questions:1. Will these people be a positive or negative influence on me?

• Use of colon to introduce points