The Photo Challenge is sponsored byHyosung Camera (English: 010-7203-9599) and Babo Shirts (www.ba-boshirts.com). Winners of the weeklycompetition receive a 50,000 won storecredit at Hyosung Camera and a BaboShirt. To take part in the competition,simply upload your photo atwww.flickr.com/groups/seoulphoto-club — Ed.

By Shawn Parker

In recent years, flash photographyhas gained an undeserved reputationas a last resort, a tool exclusive to thesnap-shooter. Something we use toblind our friends in dimly lit nightclubs

with the resul-tant unflatteringphotos blanket-ing Facebook.They are oftencharacterized by

blown-out all white facial features anddeep, shadowed backgrounds. Not cool.But it doesn’t have to be this way.

The flash, even the built-in versionthat comes with most consumer cam-eras, can be a very useful tool and canindeed help you capture moving im-ages. The trick is understating yourlight. That’s the light that’s coming outof your little flash and the light that’salready present in a scene (a.k.a. ambi-ent light) — be it sunshine, the light of

the moon or the hot fluorescent stagelighting at a Wonder Girls concert.What you most often want to achievewith flash is good balance within thescene — blasting one element of theframe with flash and leaving the rest indarkness isn’t cool, but avoiding this issimpler than you might think.

Understand that there’s nothingyou’re going to be able to do to a darkbackground with a single, on-boardflash. You can control the light you sendout to your subject, but in a cavernous

club, a church or a Buddhist temple yousimply don’t have enough power tobring the whole scene up to proper ex-posure levels. This is where one ormore dedicated flash units become in-valuable.

Using a dedicated unit — often calleda strobe — you can bounce light intothe ceiling or off of a wall so it cascadesdown over your scene evenly, droppingsoft, even light on your subject andcarving out shadows that will giveeverything a 3-D look. You want to light

up the entire room, from front to back?Put two strobes on light stands andplace them in opposite corners of theroom, trigger them remotely(Flashwaves and Rembrandt triggersare affordable Korean makes) and de-light at the studio-level quality of yourlight. You’ll be doing celebrity weddingsin no time.

It’s a myth that flash is best served inthe dark. The next time you’re outshooting under the sun and you findthe shadows and the contrast too muchto deal with, don’t ask your model torush into the shade so you can fireaway in the even light. Your on-boardflash unit is plenty strong enough to cutthrough the hard shadows and you’llcome to realize a facet of photographyoften ignored by the casual shooter: thebeauty of the fill flash. Try it out foryourself. Underexpose a little and hityour foreground subject with fill flash.The result will showcase an evenly litsubject and dramatic, textured back-ground — perfect when snappingfriends at a temple or on a mountain.Without even realizing it, you’ll havebecome a strobist yourself.

(raisey@hanmail.net)

Guest contributor Shawn Parker is amember of the Seoul Photo Club andresident authority on strobism — theuse of off-camera flash units. — Ed.

COMMUNITY18 WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 21, 2009

Expat Living is a section dedicated to the daily living of expatriates. It is printed on Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday. To share stories about your life abroad, send stories or story ideas to Matthew Lamers at mattlamers@heraldm.com Submissions may be edited for length or clarity.

PHOTO CHALLENGE — weekly winner — A jumping spiders in Anseong City,Gyeonggi Province Ian Cuison

Dear ExpatWomenI am in a complete state of shock

and have no idea where to turn.My husband of 22 years camehome last night and told me hewants a divorce because he is inlove with somebody else. We havebeen expatriates for 17 years, havelived in seven countries and havethree dependent children. I havebeen financially dependent on myhusband for all of our expatriateyears and I have no idea how I amgoing to survive and make a livingfor myself from now on. Gosh, if Icould have seen this coming,maybe I could have planned for itin some way. Instead, my head isspinning with a million and onequestions: Where I am going tolive? Where are my children goingto live? How will they see their fa-ther if he continues to stay here inRussia? How am I going to supportmyself financially? How can I pickup the pieces and survive thisnightmare? — PB

Dear PBI can only imagine all the

thoughts and questions that arerunning through your head at thistime. Divorce can be a mind-numbing and life-altering experi-ence in itself, but there are addedcomplications for divorce in theexpatriate community. Expatriaterelationships do go through amyriad of unconventional stressesand strains, which can sometimesforge a deeper relationship, some-times cause a distinct rift betweenthe couple, and sometimes, unfor-tunately lead one of the partnersto be seduced by the excitement ofa new person and want to end therelationship.

In addition to the overwhelmingemotional and psychologicalstrain that divorce causes, thereare numerous practical and logis-tical concerns that present them-selves in the face of divorce over-seas. I would suggest your firstport of call is to obtain a reputabledivorce lawyer who specializes infamily law. It is very importantnot to take any action that can af-fect your divorce rights beforeseeking credible legal advice. Youneed to determine what yourrights are, what you are entitledto and the legal situation or re-quirements in your particularcountry. This can be somewhatcomplicated as an expatriate andcan depend on factors such asyour nationality, where you weremarried, where you are currentlyliving, your residency status andwhere you are filing for divorce. Itis also advisable to employ a dif-ferent lawyer to your husband.

You may also want to meet witha professional counselor to help yousort through the questions youhave and help you to mentallyprocess your circumstances and op-tions. It can be difficult at times tobelieve that you have options. Itmay take some thought, question-ing and external guidance to helpsee that you do and to help you sortthrough your emotions and options.If nothing else, a counseling sessionusually proves to be a pricelesssanctuary for you to voice your sideof the story, without the worry ofwhat others think in your (usuallytight-knit) expat community.

In terms of finances, if you havebeen actively involved in thehousehold finances and invest-ments, you will understand exactlyhow much money you and yourhusband have access to and youwill know how to access some of it,in the short term at least. If youhave never actively managed thehousehold finances and invest-ments, you are not alone. Many ex-patriate spouses come unstuckwhen they need to know what theyhave money-wise, where it is andhow to access it. Talk to yourlawyer about how you can best de-termine your assets and liabilities,and then from this day forward,make a commitment to yourself

that you will always be more incontrol of your finances. For exam-ple, from now on, make sure youunderstand how bills are paid,have all the various passwords forphone and internet banking andaccess to all the accounts. Keepabreast of your monthly incomeand especially your expenditure.

To respond to your concernabout how to support yourself inthe future, the answer is two-fold:How is your husband going to as-sist you, given the many years youinvested in your relationship andraising your/his children?; andHow might you earn your ownmoney in the future?

Many expat spouses, both maleand female, who have experiencedsignificant periods of time out ofthe workforce, do very rightly feelconcerned about resuming work(at home or abroad) and presentinga conventional resume. Self-confi-dence and self-esteem may also berunning low and anxiety at a high,compounding the issue. Sometimesit may be difficult to believe youhave anything worthwhile to puton a resume at all. However, thinkof it this way: everything you doand everything you experience canbe translated into skills and honedfor a certain job. You just need tothink creatively about how to de-scribe the attributes and skills youhave nurtured and acquired onyour travels.

For example, have you served onthe board of a club? If so, in whatcapacity and what were your tasks?Would you say that you are skilledat networking across cultures, witha broad spectrum of people and jobroles? Do you now have an under-standing and appreciation that peo-ple operate differently according tocultural boundaries and are flexibleto work with those differences? Allof these are valuable attributesthat employers may be interestedin and you should make themknown.

Consider using a professional CVwriter in the location that you areseeking to work to increase yourchances of getting your foot in thedoor. It is much easier to convincean employer of your experience andskills when you are sitting in frontof them. So getting a great CV or-ganized is really your first and mostimportant step.

It might also be worth exploringthe idea of creating your own busi-ness. Being an entrepreneur usu-ally allows you much more flexi-bility in terms of your work hours,especially if you become the pri-mary caretaker of your three de-pendent children. You could eitherstart a business based on yournew skills in the cross-cultural/global relocation field, or perhapsuse this opportunity to build abusiness based on one of your hob-bies or passions. When you are upto it, seek out advice, talk to otherentrepreneurs and see if there issomething you would love to workon each day that could also trans-late into a satisfactory income.

Remember to call in favors fromyour friends and network — bothlocally and abroad. They most like-ly will only be too happy to helpyou out in your time of need eitherwith emotional support, a tempo-rary place to stay, a possible jobcontact or even a financial loan. Itis amazing what you get, if youswallow your pride and just ask.

Finally, whilst incrediblypainful right now, be assured thatthe end of your marriage does notsignify the end of your life — itjust means the end of one chapterand the beginning of a new one.The most important thing for youto do right now is to allow yourselftime to breathe, to grieve, to talkabout your emotions and toprocess this major shock.

Eventually, things will workthemselves out. It may just take alittle time for them to gain clarity.All our best wishes.

This article was reprinted withpermission from www.expat-women.com — Ed.

Husband fell in lovewith another womanEXPATWOMEN.COMCONFESSION

In Focus: To flash, or not to flash?

By Rosanne Dourado and Dustin Griffin

DAEGU — People of diverse faithsrecently took to Gukje-Bosang Park indowntown Daegu to celebrate the city’smulti-ethnic character. The park wasfull of different nationalities and per-formances — a multi-cultural atmos-phere resonated throughout. In atten-dance was the imam of the DaeguIslamic Center, Zia ul Haq, who had or-ganized this secular multi-culturalevent.

Rosanne Dourado: Imam Zia,where do you come from and what’syour purpose in Daegu?

Imam Zia: I came from northwest-ern Pakistan in 2003, and I am a reli-gious leader for the Muslim communityin Daegu.

RD: How many mosques are inDaegu?

IZ: There is only one mosque butthere are six sub-mosques in differentareas which are rented places.

RD: Why did you organize theevent to commemorate the inde-pendence day anniversaries ofthree nations?

IZ: I realized that I have to make a

contribution from the Muslim side toassist Daegu in becoming a multi-cul-tural society.

RD: Please give our readerssome idea of your experiences inKorea during the last six years.

IZ: As a member of the Pashtune na-tion (located in the northwest frontierprovince of Pakistan and inAfghanistan), I have had many posi-tive and challenging experiences inKorea. A peaceful environment for liv-ing in, for giving my children an edu-cation, interacting with people fromaround the world, which has openedmy mind and given me many opportu-nities to research humanity and itsproblems.

One of the painful challenges I experi-enced was the control and discipline ofthe different Muslim groups. In Islamiccountries there are different mosquesfor different denominations, but herethey had to perform their prayer in onemosque and anytime such gathering canturn into the violence, as is the case inWestern countries, but there are no cas-es of fighting among the differentMuslim groups in Daegu. However, Ihave sacrificed much for this.

As I come from the area in which the

Taliban live, it was an excruciatinglydifficult period of four years for me toconvince the authorities that I don’thave any contact, visit them or financethem.

Even though Korea is much more de-veloped than my country, humans de-pend on love and peace more than fa-cilities, therefore for the last two yearsI have ignored the continuous harass-ment from the authorities and focusedon my relations with the ordinaryKorean people, and my family and Ihave found love and acceptance withordinary Korean people.

RD: What are your aspirationsand goals for the future?

IZ: According to a general point ofview, I am responsible for leading thereligious activities; however, I believethat as a religious teacher I also haveone more identity as a human beingand I have some other responsibilities,too.

Our world is under the leadership ofthose who have distributed it amongthem in different business zones andthose who have divided its people intotwo groups, “the people of heaven andhell.” These people are filled with thedesire to fight, with hypocrisy and ha-

tred, and love has been limited and con-trolled. Therefore, with all of our expe-rience, modern education, resourcesand technology, we have no hope for ashining, peaceful and powerful world.

For the speedy and collectiveprogress and development of the world,we have to spread love beyond coun-tries’ borders, and to all human beings.This is my goal.

RD: Do many people support you?IZ: Many support me in my efforts;

however many also oppose me, andthreaten me when I organize humani-tarian secular activities.

RD: Do you have any message forour readers?

IZ: When you have extra time, spendit on study and research with an openmind. Have compassion for people, be-cause this world is your home and itspeople are your family. Heaven and hellbelong to the next life, but in this worldyour judgment and love must be for theone’s moral welfare and service.

A portion of this interview was pub-lished in The Daegu Pockets(daegupockets.com) — Ed.

In Daegu, a meeting of the faithsA man prays at the Daegu Islamic Center. Dustin GriffinImam Zia ul Haq leads a prayer. Dustin Griffin