KU121Unit 5

Starting to Draft-

The Introduction

Lona Whittington, M.A.

Teresa Kelly Sheron Brown

In KU 121, we will focus on one writing project for the term—

a professional autobiography. 

Project Description:

Go about 10 years in the future. Imagine that you have completed your program at Kaplan University and have been offered your dream job! The company or organization you will be working for wants to issue a press release announcing that you are joining them and in what capacity. In order to do so, they need a minimum 500 Word autobiographical statement from you. Your autobiography should include:

You need to keep the final project in mind while you work on the details.

One paragraph that identifies who you are, where you live, the company or organization that has hired you, and your new job title.

I. INTRODUCTION

One paragraph that gives professional details about you and your life—your age, family, hobbies, etc. (NOTE: this is a professional biography so you need to limit personal details to what is appropriate).

II. BODY PARAGRAPH ONE 1

One paragraph that talks about your education. You should include high school or your GED, any previous college experience, and your Kaplan program.

III. BODY PARAGRAPH TWO 2

One paragraph that details professional experiences, honors and awards, or other related details.

IV. BODY PARAGRAPH THREE 3

One concluding paragraph that reinforces where you will be working, your job title, and what you will be doing.

V. CONCLUSION (SUMMARY OF THE PAPER.) Now don’t forget

what I said.

Because your autobiography will appear in the company newsletter and in local newspapers, it should be written in third person (no “I” or “you”), include concrete nouns, descriptive adjectives, active verbs, effective transitions between paragraphs, and be relatively error free.

We will go over each of these ideas in the weeks to come.

Make your writing delicious with

lots of tasty details!

•Sensationalism•We Love it!!• Read the Headlines

World »• Gaza Children Found With Mothers’ Corpses• Israel Condemns Vatican’s ‘Concentration Camp’ Remarks• Gaza War Role Is Political Lift for Ex-Premier U.S. »• Oakland Turns Violent Over Shooting• News Analysis: A Crisis Trumps Constraint• Labor Calls for Unity After Years of Division Politics »• Panel Urges Easing of Rules on High-Tech Exports• Obama Is Reported Set to Revise Counterterrorism Efforts• Senate Democrats Open Way to Seat Burris

Which article would you want to read first?

Which major movie did you see based on trailers?

One paragraph that identifies who you are, where you live, the company or organization that has hired you, and your new job title. INTRODUCTION

This is what we are covering in Unit 5. The Introductory Paragraph.

It needs to identify:1. who you are,2. where you live, 3. the company or organization that has hired you and 4. your new job title.

What is an introductory paragraph?

• Introductory paragraph--The first paragraph of an essay. It starts with broad, general ideas and then works toward more specific ideas, ending with the thesis sentence.

One paragraph – 5-7 sentences (about 100 words)

Start with a lead/attention getter (like a quote, anecdote, teaser)

Have 3-5 transition sentences that build to the thesis

Your thesis from Unit 4 is the last sentence of your introduction.

Opening and Closing

Teaser - Opening

• Begins the introductory paragraph

• Grabs the readers attention immediately

• Interesting and unusual, but professional

Thesis Statement - Closing

• Closes the introductory paragraph

• Makes the reader want to continue

• The thesis sentence functions as a "signpost" to signal to the reader the main ideas to come later in the essay.

Catch Your Reader’s Attention Immediately!

• Open with a short story

• Open stating your opinion

• Open with a current related social issue

• Open with an interesting quote

Dream Job – 5th Grade Teacher

Typical Opening

• Sheron Brown will be our new Fifth grade teacher.

Attention Grabbing Opening

• Every now and then a star is born in the teaching profession and today we want to introduce that star in Sheron Brown.

Dream Job – 5th Grade Teacher

Typical Opening

• We have a new Fifth grade teacher on our team.

Attention Grabbing Opening

• With education growing as the nation’s priority, it is so important that great teachers fill our classrooms and we’ve just added a dynamic teacher to our team.

Dream Job – 5th Grade Teacher

Typical Opening

• Sheron Brown is a great new teacher with strong beliefs that will join us this year.

Attention Grabbing Opening

• President-elect Obama said, “I believe it’s time to lead a new era of mutual responsibility in education—one where we all come together for the sake of our children’s success.” Sheron Brown, our new Fifth grade teacher shares this belief.

This Week’s Project

Directions for Introduction• Your autobiography

should include an introduction that identifies who you are, where you live, the company or organization that has hired you, and your new job title. It will end with the thesis statement and follow the outline that you submitted in Unit 4.

Sample Paragraph• Every now and then a star

is born in the teaching profession and today we want to introduce that star in Sheron Brown. Sheron is originally from Brooklyn, NY—home of stars like Barbara Streisand and Spike Lee. As the Fifth grade teacher here at North Star Academy, she is sure to help our students soar. No star comes without experience, and Sheron comes to us with many exciting experiences.

Let’s Break it Down-1

• Your autobiography should include an introduction that identifies who you are– Every now and then a star is born in the

teaching profession and today we want to introduce that star in Sheron Brown.

Let’s Break it Down-2

• Where you live– Sheron is originally from Brooklyn, NY—home

of stars like Barbra Streisand and Spike Lee.

Let’s Break it Down-3

• The company or organization that has hired you, and your new job title– As the Fifth grade teacher here at NorthStar

Academy, she is sure to help our students soar.

Let’s Break it Down-4

• It will end with the thesis statement– No star comes without experience, and

Sheron comes to us with many exciting experiences.

Let’s take a look at various ways to start introductions.

Sample Introduction - Quote

According to Jean Watson , " Caring is the essence of nursing." (Lead/attention getter) Richmond Hill Medical Center believes that a caring nursing staff is vital. RHMC strives to hire and train dedicated professionals with proven records of patient care. The Medical Center prides itself on its award winning staff. (transition sentences) RHMC proudly announces that Martha Cooper, a 2010 graduate of Kaplan University, will bring her exemplary background, education, and personal experience to her new position as Director of Nursing. (Thesis)

Sample Introduction - Question What makes a good nurse? Answers to the

questions vary but the ideas of caring and dedication are always at the forefront. (Lead/attention getter) Richmond Hill Medical Center believes that a caring nursing staff is vital. RHMC strives to hire and train dedicated professionals with proven records of patient care. The Medical Center prides itself on its award winning staff. (transition sentences) RHMC proudly announces that Martha Cooper, a 2010 graduate of Kaplan University, will bring her exemplary background, education, and personal experience to her new position as Director of Nursing. (Thesis)

Sample Introduction - Anecdote When Martha Cooper was fifteen, she was injured in

a serious automobile accident. A passing nurse helped save her life and inspired Martha’s lifelong desire to be a caring healthcare profession. (Lead/attention getter) Richmond Hill Medical Center believes that a caring nursing staff is vital. RHMC strives to hire and train dedicated professionals with proven records of patient care. The Medical Center prides itself on its award winning staff. (transition sentences) RHMC proudly announces that Martha Cooper, a 2010 graduate of Kaplan University, will bring her exemplary background, education, and personal experience to her new position as Director of Nursing. (Thesis)

Sample Introduction - StatisticsOne of the growth industries of the 21st Century is

health care. Increased patient needs will drive a growth in the number of positions for caring nurses like Martha Cooper. (Lead/attention getter) Richmond Hill Medical Center believes that a caring nursing staff is vital. RHMC strives to hire and train dedicated professionals with proven records of patient care. The Medical Center prides itself on its award winning staff. (transition sentences) RHMC proudly announces that Martha Cooper, a 2010 graduate of Kaplan University, will bring her exemplary background, education, and personal experience to her new position as Director of Nursing. (Thesis)

We have this as a working thesis. What would you advise Sonia to

do next?intimately after finishing her degree in special education the elementary school hired Sonia, with all her personal information, and experiences.

First, Sonia needs to give us the name of the elementary school.

intimately after finishing her degree in special education, XYZ Elementary School hired Sonia, with all her personal information, and experiences

Next, Sonia needs to be sure the sentence makes sense.

intimately after finishing her degree in special education, XYZ Elementary School hired Sonia, with all her personal information, and experiences

What exactly does Sonia mean by “with all her personal information”?Try, “because of her background and experience.”

Next Sonia needs to be sure she has written a correct sentence.

intimately after finishing her degree in special education, XYZ Elementary School hired Sonia, because of her background and experiences

Immediately after finishing her degree in Special Education, Sonia was hired by XYZ Elementary School because of her background and experiences.

Look at this working thesis. What is the immediate problem?

I hope that in five years I will be working with children at my dream job and have all the things that are needed to get there.

The paper must be written in 3rd person, so the thesis MUST be

written in 3rd person.

I hope that in five years I will be working with children at my dream job and have all the things that are needed to get there.

We are left to wonder what the dream job is.

The thesis needs to be rewritten to show that Student X is the new lead teacher for ZWP Elementary School.

ZWP Elementary proudly announces the hiring of Student X as lead teacher for their Early Education Program, citing her education and experience as the deciding factors in her selection.

Look at this working thesis.

Elizabeth contributes her success to her family, her work as a journalist and her community ties.

• What do we need to know?

What is her job?

How can she discuss a dream job if it is kept a secret?

What is the problem with this working thesis?

Although she has been challenged emotionally, mentally and socially, her future goals are to embrace those challenges and triumphs and become a College level Professor teaching Communications in relationship to today's society, educating those who have face similar challenges, to use those experiences to learn and strengthen who they are and the person they would like to become.

Do not try to write the entire autobiography in a single thesis

sentence!

Student X’s future goal is to become a College level Professor teaching Communications.

This is the essence of what she has to say, but what problem still exists?

The assignment calls for her to already be hired in her Dream Job.

Student X’s future goal is to become a College level Professor teaching Communications.

Should become:

XYZ University is pleased to announce that Student X has been selected as their newest professor in the Department of Communications.

Questions?