last updated: sunday, 18 march 2018 · 2018-03-19 · last updated: sunday, 18 march 2018 © 2016...

Last Updated: Sunday, 18 March 2018

© 2016 Mike Phillips Trainer, Facilitator, Consultant and Coach www.mikephillipstraining.co.uk [email protected] 07949 826881

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Releasing potential through

learning and development

30 Vicarage Road

London

E15 4HD

07949 826881

For details about other course titles

available:

[email protected]

www.mikephillipstraining.co.uk

Follow Mike Phillips Training on:

http://mikephillipstraining.blogspot.co.uk/

www.facebook.com/MikePhillipsTraining

www.linkedin.com/in/mikephillipstraining

www.twitter.com/MikePTrain

Please take a few moments before the course & complete

‘My Personal Learning Objectives’ in your Workbook

Mike Phillips

Trainer, Facilitator, Consultant and Coach

(Assoc. CIPD, Cert. in Training Practice)

Communicating to Influence



Pause for Thought

“I've learned that people will

forget what you said,

people will forget what you

did,

but people will never forget

how you made them feel.”

Maya Angelou

© 2018 Mike Phillips Trainer, Facilitator, Consultant and Coach





By the end of today’s course, you will be able to:

Identify ‘what makes people tick’

Recognise how to overcome barriers to listening

Identify ways to give a clear and effective message

Assess your preferred communication style and how to

adapt this to the the preferred communication style of

others

Identify ways to appear confident when communicating

Explore causes of conflict and how to ensure a win-win

solution


Learning Outcomes

https://www.facebook.com/MikePhillipsTraining

http://www.linkedin.com/in/mikephillipstraining

https://twitter.com/MikePTrain







“Minds are like parachutes –

they only function

when open.”

Thomas Dewar


Before We Begin…



Introducing Influence

▪ Who do you wish to influence?

▪ Why/what for?

▪ Who influences you?

▪ Think of W.A.G


WWords

AActions

GGestures



Influencing Behaviours


I demonstrate that I listen by giving full attention, reflecting data, reflecting

feelings and summarising key points

I disclose personal and work information relevant to the current

situation

I express my views and opinions backed up by reasons, forcefully

enough to be taken seriously

I focus and build on common ground

I openly express my feelings about the current situation

I spell out the benefits of doing what I want and/or the negative

consequences for you not meeting my expectations

I state what I want or what action I want taken






The 7 Qualities of Influencers


Influencer

QualitiesCredibility

Empathy

Inspirational

Knowing what you

want and believing

that you can get itOpen-

mindedness

Strong

Communication

Skills

Trustworthiness



New information that contradicts a deeply-held view

Change of

Opinion

Self-

justification

Seek alternative

Evidence to support

our current view

Discredit the

information source

Distort the evidence

to make it fit your

present viewAdapted from:

Elliot Aronson

Changing Minds – Not Easy




Search for

meaning

▪ Where do I fit?

▪ Why was it

needed?

▪ It doesn't work

yet.

Integration

▪ New

behaviours

become

‘norm’

▪ Results are

being seen

Performance/Morale

Denial

Not me!

Shock

Reaction?

Testing

▪ Trying out new

ideas/approaches

▪ Tending to

stereotype (old

thought).

▪ Frustration.

LookingBackward

TransitionStage

Looking

Forward

Letting go

▪ Acceptance

but unknown

future

confusion.

Frustration

▪ Change is

going to

happen.

▪ How to deal

with fear.

▪ Not fair! Why

me?

The Change/Transition Curve







▪ Ask for something small first

▪ Fatigue or emotion affect

decisions

▪ If you want a favour, do a

favour

▪ Inspire – provide vision

▪ Reason - ‘because’ I said…’

▪ Scare tactics don’t work

▪ Silent Allies

▪ We’re motivated by fear of

loss

▪ We’re persuaded by people

we like

Tops Tips about Influencing




An Effective Influencer


I Indicates the benefits of their ideas

N Neutralises resistance, in advance

F Finds alternative ways to influence others

L Listens carefully to what others say

U Uncovers wants and needs

E Empathises continuously

N Notices others’ responses

C Creates and maintains rapport

E Eliminates weak statements from their language

R Rehearses, rehearses, rehearses



Pause for Thought

“Change is hard because

people overestimate the value

of what they have – and

underestimate the value of

what they may gain by giving

that up.”

Anon







YouValues

Attitudes & Beliefs

Feelings

Behaviour

Understanding Behaviour





Convinced?



▪ The boss didn’t say hello

today must be in a bad

mood

▪ Someone’s desk is

messy they are very

busy and industrious

▪ Someone’s desk is

messy they can’t cope

with their work

▪ Someone has previously

rejected our ideas they

always will

Assumptions We Make…


▪ Someone has often

supported our ideas

they always will

▪ Someone is quiet they

lack confidence

▪ Someone is loud they

are over confident

▪ Someone means the

same thing as us when

they use the same

words– poverty, support,

community






What do you see?




Power


▪ What words come to

mind when you think

of power?

Abuse, corruption,

authority,

manipulation,

money,

domination?



John French and Bertram Raven’s:

8 Power Bases

Source: Management Models Pocketbook, Mike Clayton







Helpful Attitude of

Mind

Impact Comes in Cans




Need

for

Power

Need

for

Affiliation

Need

for Achievement

McClelland’s Motivation Theory

Source: David McClelland




Hertzberg’s Theory







Building Rapport




Pause for Thought

“I love strawberries. But

whenever I go fishing I bait my

hook with worms. This is because

fish like worms – not

strawberries”

Dale Carnegie




Welcome Back







Look for results

Motivated by

challenge

WHAT

Look for

fun/experience

Motivated by

experience

WHO

Look for

trust/security

Motivated by appreciation

HOW

Look for data

Motivated by procedures

WHY

Look for results

Motivated by challenge

WHAT

OPTMISTIC

EXTRAVERTED

PESSIMISTIC

INTROVERTED

DIRECT

TASK ORIENTED - THINKING

INDIRECT

PEOPLE ORIENTED - FEELINGS

Look for

fun/experience

Motivated by experience

WHO

Preferred Communication Styles




FACTS & FIGURES CHALLENGE & RESULTS

▪ Decides after evaluation

▪ Logical

▪ May be self-critical

▪ More concerned with ideas and

principles than people

▪ Wants appreciation for job done – but

does not want to be condescended to

▪ Can be hasty

▪ Decides quickly

▪ Direct

▪ Loves change and challenge

▪ Results oriented

▪ Risk taker

▪ Seeks solutions

PEOPLE & FEELINGS NEW IDEAS & CREATIVITY

▪ Avoids confrontation and conflict

▪ Can be slow to change

▪ Intuitive

▪ Likes to know motivations

▪ Nice

▪ Wants harmony

▪ Fun

▪ Enthusiastic

▪ Optimistic

▪ Unstructured

▪ Can be mischievous

▪ Forms opinions from feelings

▪ People oriented

Communication Style Preferences




55 %38 %

7 %

Elements of Communication

Albert Mehrabian







▪ Ask a question

▪ Brevity: Short

sentences

K.I.S.S.

▪ Consistency matters

▪ Credibility

▪ Offer something new

▪ Provide context

▪ Simplicity: use small

words

▪ Sound and texture

matter

▪ Speak inspirationally

▪ Visualise

Make Words Work for You




▪ Decide:

What is my

purpose?

What is my basic

message?

Who is the

audience?

What do they

expect to hear?

▪ Acknowledge you

have heard what they

have said

▪ Know your basic

message and stick to

it

▪ Repeat the message

without getting side-

tracked

Getting Your Message Across




PhysiologyState/

Behaviour

Distortions

Deletions

Generalisations

Memories

Beliefs

Decisions

Values

Meta-programmes

Internal

Representation

How We Experience the World







1 • Start with a Message

2• Transmitter encodes

the message

3• Encoded Message is

Transmitted

4• Encoded message is

Received

5• Receiver decodes

the message

The Communication Process




VV • Visual

AA• Auditory

KK• Kinaesthetic

OO• Olfactory

GG• Gustatory

Representational Systems




Pause for Thought

“Grant me the serenity to accept

the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I

can;

and Wisdom to know the

difference.”

St Francis of Assisi







Communication:

Comes from Latin

communis’ =

‘shared’, ‘common’

We haven’t

communicated until we

have shared information

Creating shared

meaning


Communication: What is it?



Public Space

12 to 25 feet

(3.7 to 7.6 m)

Social Space

4 to 7 feet

(1.2 to 2.1 m)

Personal Space

1.5 to 2.5 feet

(46 to 76 cm)

Intimate Space

less than 6 inches

(15 cm)

Adapted From:

Edward T. Hall's personal reaction

bubbles (1966)

Up Close and Personal




Communicate with PEOPLE


PP• Posture

EE• Eye contact

00• Orientation

PP• Proximity

LL• Looks

EE• Expressions of emotion






The ART of Listening




EE Ears

EE Ego

EE Emotion

EE Environment

EE Evaluation

EE Expectation

EE Experience

EE Eyes

8 E’s of Listening




Talks

Listens Prepares Response

Makes point

Interrupts

Person A

Person B

The Listening Process







Feedback Skills




Team Challenge


George’s Alarm Clock



What is CONfidence?







FEAR Not…

F False

E Evidence

A Appearing

R Real


Don’t let fear influence you and

convince you not to be influential

to others!



High Importance

Low Importance GOALS High Importance

RE

LA

TIO

NS

HIP

S

Teddy – Accommodate/Giving In Owl – Collaboration/Consensus/

Co-operation

Turtle – Avoidance/Ignore Shark – Confrontation/Win-lose

Fox – Compromise/

Split the Difference

Conflict Resolution Styles






By the end of today’s course, you will be able to:

Identify ‘what makes people tick’

Recognise how to overcome barriers to listening

Identify ways to give a clear and effective message

Assess your preferred communication styles and ‘best

approach’ to appeal to others’ styles

Identify ways to appear confident when communicating

Explore causes of conflict and how to ensure a win-win

solution


Learning Outcomes






Pause for Thought

“To effectively communicate, we must

realise that we are all different in the

way we perceive the world and use

this understanding as a guide to our

communication with others.”

Anthony Robbins




Please remember to hand in your completed Evaluation Form.

If you’d like to receive the slides from today, please clearly write

your email address on the form provided.

Mike Phillips

Trainer, Facilitator, Consultant and Coach

(Assoc. CIPD, Cert. in Training Practice)

30 Vicarage Road

London

E15 4HD

07949 826881

For details about other course titles

available:

[email protected]

www.mikephillipstraining.co.uk

Follow Mike Phillips Training on:


www.facebook.com/MikePhillipsTraining

www.linkedin.com/in/mikephillipstraining

www.twitter.com/MikePTrain

Thanks for your participation!


last updated: sunday, 18 march 2018 · 2018-03-19 · last updated: sunday, 18 march 2018 © 2016...

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