Those Crazy Royals Legacy

Hello all and welcome to my newest attempt at a legacy…except I’m going to be breaking a lot of the rules with this one. I’m going to follow the English monarchy through time sim style! It will be really funny to see how I handle this as I have yet to finish a legacy. Let’s go and meet our founder shall we?

This my nervous readers is William as in William I/William the Conqueror/William the bastard.

“Wench what are you doing narrating my pain and suffering?”

…What did you just call me?

“A wench. You obviously do not understand your place in the world. Obey me…obey me!”

Stop acting like a Dalek and go find a job.

“Do I have to?”

Yes and stop whining too! Also if you are going to call me a wench I wish to be known as the Great Wench. Muhahaha *cough cough*

“No no no there will be no democracy. Common people like you will be pushed to the side while wonderful royals like me get everything.”

Not the way to make friends William. Yea being a popularity sim William here has the LTW of having 20 loyal subjects at the same time. I hate that

LTW, all those phone calls and meeting people. Bleh

“What do you mean you don’t want to be lorded over?!? It would mean that you would never have to make a decision again.”

“Umm well I kind of like making decisions.”

“Great Wench he doesn’t seem to understand”

Truthfully William I don’t either. People like their free will. You have to be nice about it.

“Oh yes because you have given me so much free will. You tell me what to do all the time.”

…Shut up and make friends.

Ooooo she’s pretty and she’s a pirate. Get her get her.

“But I am having an interesting conversation with this commoner.”

But she’s pretty!!

Bahahahahaha my old sim-self…which I didn’t know was still around decided to drop by to express her less then nice opinion of William. Good me.

Aww William you let her get away!

“I do see what you mean now. She has son bearing hips.”

One eww. Two you can’t do anything now unless we search for her.

“This isn’t right. This commoner took my cheap lawn chair and made me stand. I will not stand for this.”

Well apparently you will. You know I could have bought you another one but you are standing right where it would need to go. Sucks to be the king.

So William is suppose to be attracted to blondes. What do you think William?

“Her dress shows her to be a concubine of the greatest quality.”

…Just talk to her and stop being gross.

Oh yea and you aren’t a little voyeuristic yourself. Jeez William.

“She should feel honored to see the king this way.”

“You hit me with that pillow wench and I will have you beheaded.”

“Ummm lady is he serious? Can he really do that?”

Nope he needs you as a friend. Hit him as hard as you want.

So easy to get boosts for popularity sims. Just send them downtown. They meet one person and bam, they are back to gold.

“I thought I was on a hunt for a queen?”

You’re doing that too but 20 friends? I suck at keeping friends…wait who is that in the background?

“A weird guy with over sized glasses?”

Well yes…but also our pirate girl! Get her!

Oh yea. Out of all the blondes in the room William chooses the red-headed pirate. Knew it would be good from the moment I saw her.

But of course she was eating so I sent William to go have fun on the swings but instead he gets accosted by this guy.

“I love pie.”

“…That’s very nice commoner. Great Wench get me out of here.”

There you go William. Get her.

“So the whole process is that you care for me while raising all the children you will be having. Sound good?”

That’s not exactly what I meant. Most women like to be complime--.

“You’re pretty.”

Or you know hear about how their whole life will now be revolving around their man.

Yep Alexandra here thought William here was the hottest thing since sliced bread*. He has both her attraction qualities.

*side note: I really don’t understand sayings like that, like “in two shakes of a lamb’s tail.” What does that mean? Ok done now.

“So not only do I get you but I also get to have a lot of children who will then become my friends? Where do I sign!”

Gah popularity sims.

Come on everybody let’s say it together. Awwwww. I mean how cute is it when a guy nervously asks a girl to dance for the first time? I remember my first school dance--

“Ahem?”

What?

“Isn’t this suppose to be about us?”

I was getting there. Jeez just ruin the trip don’t memory lane.

Then William completely ruined the moment by being a weirdo.

“What? Who wants to be seduced by a smelly king?”

Good point but your date looks extremely awkward right now.

“I’m just trying really hard not to stare at his bum.”

For a second there I thought William was proposing without me telling him to but then I realized they weren’t in love yet so that’s not possible…

Turns out they just dropped the kicky ball.

The game soon got boring though and the night ended with a good snog by the toilet. Aaa like all the great love stories.

He loves singing for her. Kept doing it all night….Show off.

She seemed to enjoy it though because love soon blossomed…

For some people it happened a little bit later then others.

“What at least I fell in love before the forni--.”

Ahhh my ears. Stop being so gross. They call it woohoo in this game for a reason. That word is so gross too.

“So all I have to do is grow old and pop out a couple of kids? Is this guy worth all that pain? I don’t know.”

Yep that’s the plan and of course he is. Plus you don’t really have a choice. I’ve chosen you and there is no going back.

“Dearest Alexandra. You are the queen of my heart.”

“Oooo are you going to sing again?”

“No…I was thinking about doing something else.”

“Find us a kicky ball? I still don’t know where the last one went.”

“No! Now shush.”

“You are already the Queen of my heart. Now I want you to be the Queen of my *cough soon to be cough* vast kingdom.”

“Will you marry me?”

“Ooooo…wait I want that diamond above your head. I mean that thing is fit for a queen. This thing is too small.”

“So if I get you a bigger diamond it’s a yes?”

“Yep.”

“Deal.”

Aaaa amore. It’s a beautiful thing.

Doesn’t William look thrilled to talk on the phone with all his friends?

“Oh you like eggs? That’s so interesting…you like the pan too? Wow that’s…great.”

Hey you’re the one with the LTW. I didn’t choose it.

Ummm…Alexandra?

“Be werry werry quiet I’m hunting kingies…heh heh heh heh.”

…Okkkayyy I guess I’ll send him out to you.”

Sometimes I worry what that glitchy nose is going to do to my genetics. She’s fine most of the time…then there are these moment.

Wedding day. Can you tell that the couple is happy?

Hehe I didn’t download any medieval formal clothes but Victorian prince works pretty well too.

“And Asian concubine.”

You know what William I’m this close. Ok stop being gross.

Didn’t anyone ever tell you girls never to play ball in the house? You might break something.

“Like the bride’s nose?”

Shannon here still feels pretty upset about not being picked as William bride.

“I was his first friend and I’m a blonde. He’s suppose to be attract to blondes!”

Keep this up and you’ll never be let into the family.

Yep that’s the idea William. Why don’t you two get on that right now.

Lullaby heard on the first try. William and Alexandra turn out to be a very easy couple to get pregnant.

“I knew I picked a fertile bride.”

…Ewwww. Alex defend yourself!

“What can I say? I’m fertile.”

Gross. Just gross.

I gave Alex a make over hoping to raise their attraction level to three bolts. Didn’t work but she does look hot as a blonde. She also looks like a sexy medieval queen too. Soak it all in guys because after this pretty much all her pictures look like…

This. While we look at those sexy pjs let’s meet Alex shall we? She’s a popularity sim with a LTW of being a captain hero. Not going to happen for a while. Sorry sweetie.

This cannot be good for the baby…oh well. Alex has horrible pregnancies and needs this often.

Bah! NOOOOOO!! Robber!! Oh come on I just got them floors and stuff. Why are you stealing things?

“Where are they? Let me at ‘em.”

Go for it…I seriously right now! Go for it!

They fought and thankful the cop won….after letting the robber steal $800 worth of stuff. Then the robber waved and the cops gave them $200 for the trouble. Come on! That’s a big difference!

Another reason Alex has horrible pregnancies. She does stupid things instead of taking care of herself. No one cares about the freaking teddy bears!

“Ummm hello up there? My boobs look really weird and I think I’m having a baby.”

Can’t do anything about the boob thing but I can take pictures of the baby.

“Yea that doesn’t help.”

You’re welcome. That’s why I’m here.

“Owwwww…what? I didn’t thank you!”

Just twirl babe. It will be all over on--ummm where is William? He’s having a baby.

William!! Your child is being born and you are making the bed!! Stop right now!!

“But I want the baby to be born into a clean world.”

Concentrate!

Woah. Watch out for those sleeves. Everyone meet William II or William “Rufus” the future king of Riverblossom/England. William II was actually the third son of William I but after a nasty falling out with his first son and the even nastier death of his second son little Willy here became the claimant to the throne. While I could explain his reign as king but it would ruin the fun of this legacy. See I’m going to follow the actual history of the English monarch as much as I can. Bloody coup, illegitimate children and all that good stuff. The less you know the better it may be.

“These sleeves are like magic. I mean look at how sharp and pointy they are. I could probably behead you with them without even getting out of my seat.”

…

“Yes darling your dress is lovely and you look amazing in it. Uh huh.”

Ok William your wife is…oh nevermind.

“More children? Are you sure we need to have another baby already? I was kind of hoping to go to work and get a promotion before…”

“Yes honey it’s the perfect time. We’re still young and also what if something happens to little William? We need insurance.”

“He’s just a baby!! Narrator lady help me here!”

Well technically I shoud be making you have nine children but I’ll be nice and let you stop after you give me a second boy.

My god that is a beak of a nose. Never going to be added to my gene pool. Ewww William put those two bolts away. She’s gross.

“Oh come on! I just started my job!”

Just make sure it’s a boy and we can stop.

Time for little William to leave the world of the lying down and pooping crowd and join the making a mess unless trapped in the nursery and pooping crowd.

“Umm Great Wench?”

Yes?

“Where is my wife?”

Ummmm…Well she’s a little busy right now…

Told you she has hard pregnancies. She has to eat like 8 meals a day and spends the right of the time in bed or on the toliet. No fun for Alex.

Yay! Those custom genes pull through. William is a cutie like his father. He’s also extremely mean and outgoing. Ok I see fighting and nakedness in his future.

Awww look at how cute he is.

“If Mommy hath a boy I couwd be wepwaced! No boys! I wiw be king!”

Ok no sugar for junior here. Don’t worry kid you’ll get your crown. I’m following history here.

“Wench wady?”

Gah why did I let William teach you to talk? I am not a wench! I’m a very nice and pretty lady.

“Wench wady make my pawents come change my diaper. Its gwoss.”

Grrrrr William!

Hey Willy boy wake up! You got another baby coming.

If she survives those killer sleeves everyone meet Adeliza. There is a big discussion over whether she is or isn’t William I eldest daughter but since she didn’t leave any heirs she didn’t get a lot written about her. She was betrothed to Harold Godwinson but he died before they could get married and she stay alone the rest of her life. Wow kid you got a wonderful future to look forward to.

Time for little William to get a little closer to the throne.

“Shhhhh don’t let his father hear you or there will be hell to pay.

Oops. Sorry.

“I’m cute!”

Yes yes you are. You’re going to be a great prince.

“Yep if I stay cute and keep Father happy by staying his best friend I’ll be sitting on that throne in no time.”

…Ok let’s leave little Willy here to plot. That’s it for this chapter folks. Tune in next time to see if Alex really has to have nine children and how little William deals with his father’s want for a second son. See you then!