ListeningNotes

Difference between hearing & listening

• Hearing - automatic reaction of the senses and nervous system.

• Listening - Understanding what was said; takes effort

Americans are poor listeners

• Studies show that, on average, we only remember ____ % of what we hear.

25

Why we remember so little….

• We forget, ignore, distort, or misunderstand the majority of incoming messages.

One problem with listening...

• RATE GAP

–People speak 120 -180 words per minute

–Listen 6 times faster

Listening Spare Time

• Thinking time created by the ability to listen faster than people speak.

There are 4 ways to keep your mind engaged despite “listening

spare time.”

“E” = EXPLORE

• Explore what lies ahead in the speech by asking, “What does this person want me to believe?”

“A” = Analyze

• As the speaker makes assertions, ask yourself if they are true.

“R” = Review

• Every so often, go over what you’ve heard so far.

“S” = Search

• Always look “between the lines.”

We listen carefully to things that are important to us

• EX. A 911 operator compared to chatting with your friend.

Selective Listening

• We hear what we want to hear and tune out what we don’t.

• The Japanese Economy

• Bill Engvall

• ..\My Music\Unknown Artist\Unknown Album (9-7-2005 10-59-05 AM)\06 Track 6.wma

4 ways to listen….

Appreciative Listening

• Most basic listening style

–Enjoying music, bird’s song, etc.

Discriminate Listening

• Used when you want to single out one particular sound from a noisy environment.

Empathic Listening

• Encourages people to talk freely without fear of embarrassment.

Critical Listening

• Evaluating what you hear and deciding if the message has value.

7 Roadblocks to Effective Listening

Tune out Dull Topics

• Many listeners decide early on that a topic is going to be boring.

• Try to listen for something you can use yourself. Ex. joke, idea, quote, etc.

Faking Attention

• It’s appropriate to be courteous, but sometimes we take good manners to the extreme.

• Speakers need you to listen to what they say, not just look like you’re listening.

Yielding to Distractions

• Noises or movements often can affect our concentration.

Criticizing Delivery or Physical Appearance

• Some listeners become distracted by thinking things like,“How many times has she said the word ‘like’?”

• Remember that the content of his message is what counts, not his appearance.

Jumping to Conclusions

• Personal biases may cause a listener to ask too many questions, interrupt too often, or try to pick an argument.

Overreacting to emotional words

• People sometimes react to certain words or phrases that push our “hot buttons.”

Interrupting

• Try to see if you spend most of your listening time thinking about what you want to say.

Filters that Distort

Education Age Family

Emotions

AttitudeBiases

Religion

Morals Experience Physical Condition

Listening in the Workplace

Introductions

• Remember names.– A) Repeat name 2-3 times in the 1st

conversation– B) Relate name to something

familiar – C) Develop a determination to

remember

His Name??

Name?

• Professional Etiquette– A) Introduce older or more powerful

person to the other, and then the 2nd person to the first.

– EX. “Mr. Johnson, I’d like you to meet my sister, Kim. Kim, I’d like you to

meet my professor, Mr. Johnson.”

– B) If you are being introduced…• Make eye contact with the person you are meeting.

• Extend your hand in greeting.• Make a brief comment that includes the person’s name.

EX. “A pleasure to meet you, Mr. Smith.”

Accepting Criticism

• Although criticism hurts, keep an open mind and don’t take things personally.– A) Always separate your job behavior from

your ego– B) Look objectively for any place for

improvement.

• Although criticism often distracts us by making us recall the incident rather than listen, remember that your boss knows the situation cannot be erased.– She is mainly interested in seeing

future improvements.

Ask for Explanations

• You may often need more information.– A) Ask speaker something like,

“Would you please clarify that?”– B) If you suggest the speaker needs

help with his speech, they may become offended.

Paraphrase the Message

• Repeating a message in your own words goes a step beyond asking questions. EX. “In other words, your view is….”

– A) Checks accuracy of speaker’s message

– B) Focus on content of what was said

rather than any feelings.

Summarize the Message

• Goes one step beyond paraphrasing; you condense the points into a brief comment. EX. “What the manager said so far is…”

– Especially useful in situations involving conflict or complaints

Write down the message

• Taking notes will…– Increase listening and you remember

more. – Increase chances you will review what

has been said.– Gives speaker positive feedback; you

thought enough of his speech to write it down.

Tips for taking notes

• Be prepared. Keep pen and paper with you.

• Get it down and don’t worry about neatness - you can recopy notes later.

• Don’t try to write everything down.– Avoid complete sentences.– Draw lines to connect ideas.– Omit vowels.– Develop your own shorthand with

symbols, pictures, punctuation, and abbreviations.

–EX. Glenna, lnch w/HP client, FRI 11:30 @ Macaroni’s

– Means: You and Glenna have a lunch meeting with a Hewlett Packard Customer on Friday at 11:30 am at Macaroni’s restaurant.

Propaganda Techniques

Testimonials

• An appeal which uses the recommendation of a famous or respected person.

• Examples:– “According to Alf, 10-10-220 is the long

distance company to use.”– “Bill Cosby eats Jello Pudding, shouldn’t

you?”

False Comparison

• Comparing unlike things.• Examples

– Since you are so good at baseball, you’ll be excellent at soccer.

– Since I got sick from McDonald’s, I won’t eat at other fast food restaurants.

                     

Name Calling

• Assigning a negative label without any evidence.

• Examples–Democrats are such big spenders.–Mark is such a loser; stay away

from him.

Bandwagon

• An appeal to act a certain way because everyone else is.

• Examples– All of the honest people are voting for

Bush.– Boy Scouts is the fastest growing

organization in the country – Get in the action and join today!

Emotional Appeals

• Used to arouse emotional reactions. • Examples

– The humane society tells a moving story about abuse of pets in order to raise money for their shelter.

– Seeing and hearing about poverty stricken children with no shoes or clothes.

Stack the Deck

• To give only one side of the story.

• Examples

– Michael Jackson is a great person; just look how successful his music is.

– Bill left his family for no reason; he didn’t even let them know where he was.