Listening

“Seek first to understand…

Then to be understood.”(Covey, 1997)

Listening is not a communication action, it is a human action.

Understanding how to listen effectively

is an essential skill that benefits everything from family life to

business.

Introduction and Overview

What listening is not: Hearing vs. listening Faulty listening behaviors Reasons for poor listening

Introduction and Overview

What listening is: Stages of successful listening Personal listening styles Situational listening

What listening is not

Hearing vs. Listening: Hearing: “Sounds waves strike the

ear drum and cause vibrations that are transmitted to the brain.”

Automatic and effortless Listening: “The brain gives the sounds

meaning.” Unnatural, requires effort

Faulty listening behaviors

1. Pseudo listening: imitation, or fake listening. Pretending to listen.

2. Selective listening: responding only to the parts of a speakers remarks that interest the receiver and rejecting everything else.

3. Defensive listening: taking innocent comments as personal attacks.

Faulty Listening, cont.

4. Ambushing: using listening skills to collect information to use for an attack on the speaker.

5. Insulated listening: avoiding a particular topic.

6. Insensitive listening: unable to look beyond words for other meanings.

Faulty listening, cont.

7. Stage Hogging: attempting to turn the conversation to oneself.

Reasons for Poor Listening

Effort: listening is hard; it is not natural

Message overload Rapid thought Psychological noise Physical noise Hearing problems Faulty assumptions

Reasons for Poor Listening, cont.

Cultural differences Media

What Listening is: Listening Defined

Listening: Occurs when the brain gives the sound transmitted meaning. Listening is not like breathing. It is

unnatural and requires effort.

What listening is: Stages of Successful Listening

1. Attending: paying attention to a signal

2. Understanding: making sense of a message

3. Responding: giving observable feedback to the speaker

4. Remembering1. Residual Message: what is remembered

Personal Listening Styles

Content-Oriented: interested in the quality of the message. This style is useful when looking at a wide range of perspectives and options.

People-oriented: concerned with creating and maintaining positive relationships

Personal Listening Styles, cont.

Action-Oriented: concerned with the task at hand. Useful when business needs to be attended to.

Time-oriented: most concerned with efficiency.

Situational Listening

Informational listening:Used when one wants to understand

another. The goal is to receive the same thoughts the other person is trying to convey.

Informational Listening, cont.

1. Listen first2. “Don’t kill the messenger”: separate

the message from the speaker3. Look for big ideas and main points4. Paraphrase: restate what the speaker

is saying in one’s own words5. Take notes

Critical Listening

Judging the quality of a message and deciding to accept or reject it.1. Listen for information first2. Evaluate the speakers credibility

- check the source3. Examine evidence and reasoning4. Remove emotion

Empathetic Listening

Stages of listening (Covey, 1997) Ignoring Pretend listening Selective listening Attentive listening Empathic listening: the first step in

beginning to understand someone

Empathetic Listening

The goal is to build a relationship or help solve a problem.

This style of listening has the most respect for the other’s point of view.

Empathetic Listening

Ways to practice empathetic listening:1. Advising: offering suggestions2. Judging: look for constructive judgments3. Analyzing: offers and interpretations of the speakers message

Empathic Listening, cont.

4. Questioning: helps sort out problems

5. Supporting6. Prompting: The goal is to help the

speaker draw conclusions for him/herself

7. Paraphrasing: rewording