listening to understand · challenge #1: active listening get a partner one person share an event...
TRANSCRIPT
LISTENINGTO UNDERSTAND
PWG ASSOCIATE ADVISOR PROGRAM
23 NOVEMBER 2017
THE GOAL OF ALL COMMUNICATION
IS
UNDERSTANDING
LISTENING IS LIKE
COOKING
Q: WHY IS
EFFECTIVE LISTENING
A GOOD THING?
WHAT IS SAID AND WHAT IS NOT
VERBAL AND NON VERBAL MESSAGES
PERCEIVE AND UNDERSTAND
“I’M FINE”
THERE ARE A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT
LISTENING POSITIONS
ACTIVE LISTENINGListen with all your senses
Be ‘seen’ to be listening
Verbal and non-verbal responses
Allow the person to feel HEARD
Patience / silence
Non verbal Verbal
SmileEye contact
PostureMatchingFocusedNodding
Positive reinforcementRememberingQuestioningReflection
ClarificationSummarising
SIGNS OF ACTIVE LISTENING
PASSIVE LISTENING
CHALLENGE #1: ACTIVE LISTENING
Get a partner
One person share an event from your life
The other actively listens – show verbal and non-verbal signs
1.
2.
3.
CHALLENGE #2: PASSIVE LISTENING
Get a partner
One person share an event from your life
The other passively listens and observes what’s going on
1.
2.
3.
THERE ARE DIFFERENT TYPES OF LISTENING
INFORMATIONAL LISTENING
Focus on messageReceive new facts / infoTake notesVocab, concentration, memory
LISTEN TO LEARN
CRITICAL LISTENING
Fundamental to true learningCompares what we know / believeProblem solving or decision making
Keep open mindIn our day to day life
LISTEN TO EVALUATE OR SCRUTINISE
EMPATHETIC LISTENING
Put self in their shoesAcknowledgement
No judgement or adviceUse ears, eyes and heart
Embrace silence
LISTEN TO UNDERSTAND FEELING AND EMOTION
THE BIGGEST CRIMES
AGAINST LISTENING…
PREPARING YOUR REPLY
JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS
FILLING THE VOID
RASA
SHORTCUT:Process that’s applicable in
any relationship
Receive ASA
Pay attention Eye contact
Lean inLook interested
RAppreciateSA
Make noises and give verbal clues“mmm, ok, ahh”
RA SummariseA
The word ‘so’ is important here. “So, I hear that…”
RASAsk
Ask questions afterwards. “What happened next, what does that mean?”
RAPPORT
A COMMON EXPERIENCE
TAKE IT FROM A ‘THING’ THAT HAPPENS BY CHANCE
INTO A PROCESS
THAT CAN BE REPLICATED
BREAK THE ICE
HAVE DEEP CONVERSATION
STARTERS
HOW OR WHY PEOPLE
STARTSOMETHING IS
POWERFUL
COMMUNICATION COMES FROM 3 PLACES
WORDSTONALITY
PHYSIOLOGY
WORDS 7%TONALITY 38%
PHYSIOLOGY 55%
MATCHING&
MIRRORING
PHYSIOLOGYHOW WE POSITION AND MOVE OUR
BODY DURING COMMUNICATION
TONALITY
Tone (pitch)Tempo (speed)
Timbre (quality)Volume (loudness)
THE WAY THAT WE USED OUR VOICE AND THE TONE OF VOICE
WORDS
Types of words Key words Content chunks
THE ACTUAL WORDS WE USE
Ur dumped
CHALLENGE: SELF REFLECTION
1. Think of a past conversation that didn’tgo your way
2. Imagine how the conversation couldhave gone with more effective listening
3. Capture what you could have donedifferently if you had your time again
THE GOAL OF ALL COMMUNICATION IS
UNDERSTANDING
EFFECTIVE LISTENING HELPS UNLOCK IT
RAPPORT MAKES IT EASIER
WHAT NEXT?