managing interpersonal effectiveness 2012 - 13

7/27/2019 Managing Interpersonal Effectiveness 2012 - 13

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MANAGINGINTERPERSONAL

EFFECTIVENESS


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Unit I

SELF ANDCOMMUNICATION


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Self

William James a psychologistdistinguished between two aspects ofself as me and I.

I is an active agent in the environment.

Me contains three distinct entities as

Spiritual self:- inner core of identity.

Material self:- persons physical attributes.

Social self:- personal identity.


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Self concept

The views about ones self is known asself concept.

It is the impression one holds about

himself. Switching the role one plays can create a

problem for ones self concept.

Self concept is the picture of oneselfaccompanied by the feeling of the realme which is stable.


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Johari window

Known to

others

Unknown

to others

Known to self Unknown to self

Open Self Blind self

Hidden Self Unknown self


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Self Awareness

Process of discovering andunderstanding various aspects of oneselflike motivation, attitudes, belief, etc.

Through:-

Dialogue, Listening, Reduce blind,

Increase open, See different selves.

We become aware of our own values andstandards.


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SELF AWARENESS

Awareness of mental process

Objective self awareness or both

-result of directing our attention inward

1. Labelling theory

2. Self comparisons

3. Judging ourselves by behaviour of others


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Self Growth

Maximization of ones potential towardsclear, specific & planned objective.

Individual development. Personal/social development.

conscious/unconscious effort.

Explore strength & weakness


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Self perception

Individuals attitudes towards and beliefs aboutthemselves based on factors like physicalappearance, work habits, etc., and developsover a time.

Highly complex collection of diverseinformation.

A scheme is a set of cognitions about an object,

person or situation. Self schemas reflect our beliefs and behavior

with regard to people, situation and events.


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Schemas

Have subschemas reflecting our beliefs andbehaviour with regard to people

Helps organising our impressions

Scan and elate to the environment

Self schemas- independent - schematic


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Social inferences

By Markus the subjects who had schemas ofthemselves as independent chose moreindependent words to describe themselves than

those who thought of themselves as dependent. Self schemas and adaptability: (odd man out)

Social schemas - 3 categories

For individuals For roles / groups


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Schemas and others

Business man

Traits aggressive, energetic, socially skilled andinterested in money

Infmn abt specific behaviours business lunches,selling things to people, investment in stock market

Infmn abt personal physical characteristics welldressed, well groomed, and fairly attractive)


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Gaining self knowledge

Self concept not fixed flexible and changing,over gaining experience

Variety of ways Cognitive dissonance and Self

perception theory

Cognitive dissonance : - a state of tension thatresults when people hold their cognitions (

belief, opinions) Nuclear power, TV


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Self perception theory

People learn about their attitudes, emotions andother inner states by inferring them from theirown behaviour

Based on few assumptions

Sometimes by justifying their behaviour

Cognitive dissonance and Self perception

theory: - over justification and intrinsicmotivation


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Cognitive Dissonance Theory:(Leon Festinger (1957)

We are motivated by a desire for cognitive consistency

We experience psychological tension- (i.e., a state of negative

arousal, dissonance) when we are aware of inconsistencies amongour attitudes, cognitions, and behaviors.

e.g., saying things you dont believe you look great in that outfit,deciding among two attractive options (who to date, what to major in)

We become highly motivated to reduce dissonance and often do soby adjusting their thinking which often often involves irrational or

sometimes maladaptive behavior.


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Ways to Reduce Dissonance:

Embracing your chocolate mousse option despite that

Youre Dieting


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Comparison of Cognitive Dissonance &

Self-Perception Theories


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Applying Self-Perception Theory: Over

justification Effects and Intrinsic

Motivation

di i f h l d


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Necessary Conditions for the Arousal and

Reduction of Dissonance


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Self Esteem

Individuals degree of liking or disliking ofthemselves.

Thinking as highly of yourself as you

think of your friends and peers. It is build upon the experience of success.

High self esteem:-

Good, capable, worthy Low self esteem:-

Useless, unworthy.


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SELF EFFECTIVENESS / SELF

EFFICACY

THE BELIEF THAT ONE IS CAPABLE OFPERFORMING IN A CERTAIN MANNER TOATTAIN CERTAIN GOALS.


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SELF EFFECTIVENESS

Self esteem

Self serving biases

Self-handicapped strategies

Self control

Learned helplessness


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SALARY / WAGE OF A COOLIE / DAY,

SERVANT MAID, CALL TAXI DRIVER,SALES EXECUTIVE, HOTEL SERVER,

ASST MGR, ITTEAM LEADER, MAJOR,

EVENT MANAGER, CHARTERED

ACCOUNTANT,.


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Self presentation

To present ourselves to others. Two self presentation concerns

Motive to please an audience

Motive to construct and maintain a publicimage.

Impression management is the processthrough which people try to control theimpressions other people form of them.

It is usually synonymous with selfpresentation.


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Strategies for self

presentation Direct strategies:-

Ingratiation seeking affection and to be liked.

Intimidation seeking to be feared and seen as

dangerous.

Self promotion seeking respect and a wish to seemcompetent.

Exemplification seeking people to feel guilt or

shame and to be seen as worthy, suffering or

dedicated.

Supplication -- seeking to be nurtured, to make

people feel an obligation towards them and to seem

helpless, handicapped or unfortunate.


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Indirect strategies:-

Our capacity to create an impression rests ontwo different activities.

Messages we give direct verbal symbols ortheir substitutes whose content is designed

to convey information.

Messages we give off involves actions, thatothers can treat as symptomatic of the actor,the expectation being that the action wasperformed for reasons other than theinformation conveyed.


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Defensive self presentation tactics:- Excuses attempt to reduce responsibility.

Justification reason for behavior.

Disclaimer offer explanations. Self handicapping setting obstacles for our

own success.

Apologies admit guilt responsibility.


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Self monitoring

A personality trait that measures an individualsability to adjust his or her behavior to externalsituational factors.

High self monitors:- Pay attention to others, skillful at expressing their

emotions, possess more social skills, prefer

interaction partners.

Low self monitors;- Less concerned, show more consistency between

their attitudes and behavior, prefer people they like

regardless of the activity involved.


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Communication and language

Language may be defined as the systemof vocal sounds used by human beings totransmit meaning to one another.

Effective communication consists of foursteps: Attention

Understanding

Acceptance

Action


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Communication and language

Involves various models like

Lasswell model who, says what, in whichchannel,to whom, to what effect

Shannon & Weavers Mathematical model based on telephony analogy

David berlos SMCR model source message channel reciever

McGuires model transaction model &interactive model


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Non verbal communication

Communicating without the use of words.

Occurs even when there is no verbalcommunication.

Comprises all the impressions we receive andthat interpretations we make from what weperceive through our senses.

The codes are proxemics, haptics, chronemics,kinesics, physical appearance, vocalics andartifacts.


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Non verbal channels

Paralanguage:

What we say depends on how we say it, what tone we use, what

words we emphasize, how loudly or softly, how fast or slowly we

speak.

Eye contacts and social interaction:

The importance we place on eye contact is reflected in such

phrases as Eyeing someone up and down, seeing eye to eye,

Look me in the eye.

It is difficult, disconcerting communicative factor. The comfort level for eye contact is three seconds


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Facial expression:

Portray the moods and feelings of people.

Charles Darwin was one of the first to observe anddescribe facial expressions.

Not only do our faces reflect our internal states, but

our internal states might sometimes be the result of

our facial expression.

Kinesics:

The study of body movements and postures is called

kinesics and is popularly known as body language.

Much of the body language is involuntary orunconscious but it makes a powerful impact.


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Visual symbols: Colors are associated with different moods

and feelings. Motivation and state of mind of employees

are influenced by the color in the place ofwork.

Postures: Combines pictures and words.

Used for education and persuasion in matterslike the importance of saving, the danger of

drinking, the value of neat and cleanappearance, etc.


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Auditory signals: Sound signals are used mainly for warning.

Whistles are used by the police and the armyto call members assemble. Bells and Buzzers are used to indicate the

starting and ending of work periods. Tuners are often used as an identification

mark. Silence:

Silence is not a negative absence of speechbut a positive withdrawal or suspension of

speech. Short silences are very effective in giving

emphasis to words.


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Gestures: Movements of hands or head or body, they

are natural accompanied of speech. May not have specific or definite meaning.

No two persons make exactly the samegestures.

Space: The study of space as a communicative

system is called proxemics.

It is the study of the degree and effect of the

spatial separation that individuals naturallymaintain in various social and interpersonalsituations.


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Time:

Time given to listen and speak to people

creates a sense of self esteem in them; it isequated with care and concern for them.

Energy:

Energy conveys competence and inspiresrespect.

Clothing:

What we wear says something about us.

Appearance:

Grooming and accessories


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Unit II

Transactional Analysis


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Introduction

TA is a technique used to help people better understandtheir own and others behavior, especially ininterpersonal relationships.

It is a theory of psychotherapy founded by Dr.Eric Berne

in the 1950s. TA provides to organizations a comprehensive model of

personality, communication, motivation, conflictresolution, group dynamics, organization structure,leadership, goal-setting and problem solving.

In an organization it is applied at three levels as personallevel, group level, organizational level.


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Structural analysis of Ego

states

Consistent pattern of feelings & experiencesrelating to corresponding consistent pattern ofbehavior.

An ego states is a pattern of behavior that aperson develops as he/she grows up, based onhis/her accumulated network of feelings and

experiences. There are three ego states : parent, adult and

child.


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Parent ego state is the set offeelings, attitudes, values and

prejudices and behaviorsintrojected from parents andsignificant parental figures.

Adult ego state is thosefeelings, attitudes, behaviors

related to current her-and-nowreality.

Child ego state is the archaicfeelings, emotions, attitudes,and behaviors, which areremnants of the persons past.

Th f ti l d l f


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The functional model of ego

states

Critical parent, people manifest themselves asdisappointed, aggrieved, feeling always right, patronizing,controlling, critical, putting down others.

Nurturing parent, people act loving, caring, concerned,understanding, etc.

Adult function as a computer, process data, organize

information, estimate probabilities, make logicalstatements, and provide non-judgmental feedback.

Adapted child exhibit behavior of rebellion or compliance. Rebellious child disobeys, throws temper tantrums, feels

bored and distracts.

Compliant child acts loyal, withdraws, pleases others, feelshurt, sulks and always fells one down.

Free child tend to laugh, share fun, feel excited andenthusiastic, and express our anger, sadness and fearfreely without any inhibition.


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Diagnosis of ego states

Behavioral: Words, tones, gestures, pastures and facial

expression.

Social:

Response evoked from others around.

Historical:

Getting information about past from others.

phenomenological: When a person reexperiences what he/she

experienced as a child rather than just remembering

it.


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Types of Transactions

Complementary transactions:

The transactional vectors are parallel and the ego states

addressed is the one which responds.

Crossed transactions:

When the transactional vectors are not parallel, or in which the

ego state addressed is not the one which responds.

Ulterior transactions:

Happens when a person appears to be sending one message

overtly but secretly sending the other.

Gallows transactions:


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Strokes

It is a unit of recognition.

Strokes is an act implying recognition ofanothers presence verbally or nonverbally or

by physical contact. Strokes may be positive or negative

Positive strokes are those that help mostpeople to feel good. They tell the other person

youre OK. Negative strokes are those that would hurt

most people. They do say youre not OK.


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Types of strokes

Conditional strokes:

Is recognizing a person for doing something.

Unconditional strokes:

Is recognizing a person for being what he is. Positive strokes:

Are intended to create a pleasant feeling in the

receiver.

Negative strokes: Put the receiver down.

No strokes:


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STROKE BALANCE & STROKE RESERVOIR

Stroke balance type of stroke we experiencewhen we are young and effect of this in later life.

Stroke balance is the idea of stroke reservoir or

credit bank


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The stroke economy

False economy of strokes:

Dont give strokes when you have them.

Dont ask for strokes when you need

them. Dont accept strokes, if you need them.

Dont reject strokes, when you dont

need them. Dont stroke yourself.


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Life Positions

AttitudetowardSelf

Attitude toward others

Negative Positive

Negative

Positive


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TIME STRUCTURING

6 WAYS OF STRUCTURING Withdrawal no contact with others

Rituals socially programmed exchanges

Pastimes superficial exchanges about nonthreatening subjects

Activity external goal directed behaviour

Games recurring transactions with a concealed

motivation Intimacy game free honesty and openess, free of

exploitation


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Rackets

Racket is an internal or external process by which a personinterprets or manipulates his/her environment as he/sheidentifies a not OK or discounted position.

Rackets are self indulgence in feelings of guilt, inadequacy,hurt, fear and resentment.

A racket is a dual strategy of getting permitted feelings

and covering up those which we truly feel, as being notallowed.

Racket feelings are collected at the end of a game as itspayoff.

When a person is in a racket within oneself and

experiences racket feelings, it is an Internal racket. If another person becomes involved it is an external

racket.


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STAMPS

Stamps are feelings that an individual collects andstores rather than expressing at the instant theywere experienced. They are collected and stored until some future date

Different indvls collect different types

Eventually the stamps are redeemed

People review their stamps

Types red stamps -anger

Green stamps -envy

Brown stamps taking crap from people,

Real gold stamps love joy, acknowledgement


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Scripts

A life script is a personal plan decided onat an early age (4 7 years old) by eachindividual in response to external events.

Eric Bernes formula for script is as follows:

EPI PR C IB P

EPI Early Parental Influences

PR Programming.

C Compliance

IB Important Behavior

P Payoff/Results


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Types of scripts: Winner scripts (positive) have stated goals, achieve

them and feel good.

Loser scripts (negative) may not have a stated goal ormay have one but not achieve them. Non-winner scripts (banal) have ordinary goals and

may reach close to it.

Script matrix is a diagram designed to illustrateand analyze the directive handles down from

parents and grandparents and the role modelshown to them, which influenced the scriptdecision of a child.

Sweat shirts: Tells how the individual likes to structure time.

Hell always have a message of I cant.


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Applications of TA

Aims of TA in training Improve relationship Decrease manipulation Increase understanding Help people grow Reduce self defeat

Increase assertiveness Increase self confidence

Areas of applications In interpersonal communication New way of looking at management & leadership

greater contribution to make OD A possible explanation of some forms of accident proneness A new approach to the old problem of effective time management.


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Unit III

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE


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The Research:

Almost 90% of success inleadership is attributable to EQ.

Mi d d B d


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Mind and Body

Can the body affect the mind?

Example?

How about the mind affecting

the body? Example?

Two-way communicationbetween mind and body

P h ti M di i


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Psychosomatic Medicine

Psyche (mind) Soma (body)

Butterflies in thestomach

Anxious before givingspeech

Indigestion, nausea

Stress may contribute togetting an ulcer.

ANXIETY


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ANXIETY

Personal & subjective feeling

Nervous breakdown

Occurs due to unpleasant times

FIGHT / FLIGHT SITUATION

Arises mainly due to incompetence

Acute stress prolonged anxiety

B dil t


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Bodily symptoms

Adrenaline - clotting of blood & embolism

Head aches & back aches

BP high, stomach & bowel disorder diabetes

- imaginary / real feeling loss of lifeavoid disclose the facts & face the reality


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Acute anxiety arise from interpersonalion relation,self esteem, job overload etc

Every one has memeories, past exp, fears, worries which are locked but do not admit leads to

unpleasant symptoms Nuerotic anxiety defence mech

1.repression

2. projection

Other defence mech dependancy, messianic hopeetc

t


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stress

Stress is an experience that createsphysiological and psychological imbalanceswithin a person.

It is a body reaction to any demands or changesin its internal and external environment.

In simple words, stress refers to pressures ortensions people feel in life.

Selye has defined stress as the non-specificresponse of the body to any demand made

upon it. Stress was equated with force, pressure or

strain.


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Although stress is typically discussed in anegative context, it also has a positive value.

Stress is a dynamic condition in which an

individual is confirmed with an opportunity,constraint, or demand related to what he or shedesires and for which the outcome is perceivedto be both uncertain and important.

Typically stress is associated with constraintsand demands. The former prevent you fromdoing what you desire. The latter refers to theloss of something desired.

Two conditions are necessary for potential

stress to become actual stress. There must beuncertainty over the outcome and the outcomemust be important.

E t d Di t


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Eustress and Distress

Under stressed

(Distress)Over stressed

(Distress)

Optimum

stress

(Eustress)

Low High

High

Performance

Stress

Potential sources of stress


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Potential sources of stress

Environmental factors:- Economic uncertainties Political uncertainties Technological uncertainties

Organizational factors:-

Task demand Role demand Interpersonal demand Organizational structure Organizational leadership

Individual factors:- Family problems Economic problem Personality

Individual differences


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Individual differences

Perception

Job experience

Social support

Belief in locus of control

Self sufficiency

Hostility

Consequences of stress


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Consequences of stress

Physiological symptoms Headaches

High blood pressure

Heart disease

Psychological symptoms Anxiety

Depression

Decrease in job satisfaction

Behavioral symptoms Productivity Absenteeism

Turnover

Stress management


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Stress management

Coping strategies at the organizational level:- Organizational role clarity Job redesign Stress reduction and stress management programmes Collateral programmes (personal wellness)

Supportive organization climate Counseling

Coping strategies by individuals Relaxation Time management

Role management Mediation Support group


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Reducing the effects of

stress Stress is less harmful if Have some control (even if just belief).

Predictable (going to feel a little pinch).

Know the duration. Coping mechanism.

Some way to relieve stress.

Positive attitude.

Active participant in process.

Relieve stress


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Relieve stress

Meditation

Listening to soothingmusic

Taking a quiet walk Reduce stress

Eliminate butterflies

Affects on long term health


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Affects on long-term health

Attitude towards illness canaffect healing.

Thought, beliefs andemotions have major impacton physical health.

Link between mind and bodyis the immune system.

What is Emotion?


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What is Emotion?

Internal conscious states that we infer inourselves and others.

Emotions are private experiences.

We use operational definitions because wecannot actually see feelings.

We infer observable behavior associatedwith emotion.

Four components of Emotion


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Four components of Emotion

Social-

Expressive

Sense of

Purpose

Bodily

Arousal

Feelings

Emotion

Significant life event


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Feeling component

Emotions are subjective feelings

Make us feel in a particular way.

Anger or joy. Meaning and personal significance.

Vary in intensity and quality.

Rooted in mental processes (labeling).

Bodily Arousal


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Bodily Arousal

Biological activation.

Autonomic and hormonal systems.

Prepare and activate adaptive coping

behavior during emotion.

Body prepared for action.

Alert posture, clenched fists.

Purposive component


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Purposive component

Give emotion its goal-directed force.

Motivation to take action.

Cope with emotion-causing circumstances.

Why people benefit from emotions.

Social and evolutionary advantage.

Social-Expressive component


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Social-Expressive component

Emotions communicative aspect.

Postures, gestures, vocalizations, facialexpressions make our emotions public.

Verbal and nonverbal communication.

Helps us interpret the situation.

How person reacts to event.

Emotions read in the face


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Emotions read in the face

The Japanese Female Facial Expression (JAFFE) Database


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EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

The ability to monitor ones own and othersfeelings and emotions, to discriminateamong them and use this information to

guide ones thinking and action.

i


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25 competencies

Divided into 5 dimensions:

Personal Competence:

Self Awareness

Self Management

Motivation

Social Competence:

Empathy

Social Skills


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Personal Competence

Self-Awareness

Self-Management Motivation

lf


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Self-Awareness

Personal Competence

Self-Awareness

Emotional AwarenessAccurate Self-Assessment

Self-Confidence

Self-Management

Motivation

lf


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Self-Management

Personal Competence

Self Management Self-Awareness

Self Control Emotional Awareness

Trustworthiness Self-AssessmentConscientiousness Self-Confidence

Adaptability

Innovation Motivation

Motivation


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Motivation

Motivation Self-Awareness

Achievement Drive Emotional Awareness

Commitment Self-Assessment

Initiative Self-ConfidenceOptimism

Self Management

Self Control

Trustworthiness

Conscientiousness

Adaptability

Innovation

S i l C t


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Social Competence

Empathy

Social Skills

E th


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Empathy

Social Competence

EmpathyUnderstanding OthersDeveloping OthersService Orientation

Leveraging DiversityPolitical AwarenessSocial Skills

S i l Skill


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Social SkillsSocial Competence

Empathy Social Skills

Understand Others Influence

Developing Others Communication

Service Orientation Conflict Management

Leveraging Diversity LeadershipPolitical Awareness Change Catalyst

Building Bonds

Collaboration/Cooperation

Team Capabilities

E ti l I t lli M


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Emotional Intelligence Map

Self-Awareness Empathy

Emotional Awareness Understand Others

Accurate Self-Assessment Developing Others

Self-Confidence Service Orientation

Self Management Leveraging DiversitySelf Control Political Awareness

Trustworthiness Social Skills

Conscientiousness Influence

Adaptability Communication

Innovation Conflict Management

Motivation Leadership

Achievement Drive Change Catalyst

Commitment Building Bonds

Initiative Collaboration & Cooperation

Optimism Team Capabilities

M d l f EI


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Models of EI

Ability based model

Mixed model

Trait model

Abilit b d EI d l


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Ability based EI model

Helps one to make sense of and navigate the socialenvironment.

Includes 4 types of abilities-

-Perceiving emotions- ability to detect and interpretemotions in faces, pictures, voices and culturalarticrafts including the ability to identify ones ownemotions.

- Using emotions ability to harness emotions tofacilitate various cognitive activities, such asthinking and problem solving.

Abilit b d d l


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Ability based model

Understanding Emotions ability tocomprehend language and ability toappreciate complicated relationships among

emotions. Managing emotions ability to regulate

emotions in both ourselves and in others.

Mi d d l


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Mixed models

Emotional Competencies (Goleman) Model

Bar On Model of Emotional SocialIntelligence (ESI)

Mixed models


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Mixed models

Emotional Competencies ( Goleman) Model

Self Awareness- ability to read ones emotions and

recognize their impact while using gut feelings to guide

decisions.

Self Management- involves controlling ones emotions and

impulses and adapting to changing circumstances.

Social Awareness ability to sense, understand and reacts

to others emotions while comprehending social networks.

Relationship Management- ability to inspire, influence anddevelop others while managing conflict.

Bar On Model of Emotional


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Bar On Model of Emotional

Social Intelligence ( ESI)

Use of EQ Emotion Quotient.

Identifies ways to improve EQ throughtraining, programming & therapy

Trait model


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Trait model

Petrides et al proposed a conceptualdistinction between the ability based modeland trait based model

Trait EI /Trait emotional self efficacy refersto a collection of behavioral dispositions andself perceptions concerning ones ability to

recognise, process and utilize emotion ladeninformation.

Advantages


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Advantages

Improves Relationships

Improves communication with others

Better empathy skills

Acting with integrity

Respect from others

Manage change more confidently.

Identifying Emotions


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Identifying Emotions

Skills needed to perceive and expressfeelings.

Recognizing facial expressions.

Non-verbal communication.

Tell when someone is being authentic.

Express accurate emotions for situation.

Foundation for other branches.

Identifying Emotions (MSCEIT)


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y g ( )

Facilitating Emotions


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Facilitating Emotions

(Branch 2) Using emotions to facilitate thinking.

Improve problem solving and boost creativity.

Emotional component to motivation.

Care enough to send the very best.

Using emotion to help make decisions.

Facilitation (MSCEIT)


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( )

What mood(s) might be helpful to feel when meeting in-laws for the

very first time?

Not Useful Usefula) Tension 1 2 3 4 5

b) Surprise 1 2 3 4 5 c) Joy 1 2 3 4 5

Understanding emotions (Branch


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Understanding emotions (Branch

3)

Understanding complex and conflictingemotions.

Emotions and behavioral consequences.

Read a situation and respond correctly.

Some emotional responses are maladaptive.

Jealousy and envy are destructive.

Understanding Emotions (MSCEIT)


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g ( )

Tom felt anxious, and became a bit stressed when hethought about all the work he needed to do. When hissupervisor brought him an additional project, he felt____. (Select the best choice.)

a) Overwhelmed b) Depressed

c) Ashamed

d) Self Conscious

e) Jittery

Managing emotions (Branch 4)


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Managing emotions (Branch 4)

Developing mood regulation skills.

Productive ways to change mood.

Avoid over and under regulation.

Seek natural means rather than alcohol,tobacco or other drugs.

Stress coping strategies.

Use optimistic explanatory style.

Managing Emotions (Branch 4)


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g g ( )

1. Debbie just came back from vacation. She was feeling peaceful andcontent. How well would each action preserve her mood?

Action 1: She started to make a list of things at home that she neededto do.

Very Ineffective..1.....2.....3.....4.....5..Very Effective

Action 2: She began thinking about where and when she would go onher next vacation.


Action 3: She decided it was best to ignore the feeling since it wouldn'tlast anyway.


How to Increase Your EQ


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How to Increase Your EQ

Conduct a personal inventory.

Analyze the setting & identify skills needed.

Enlist trusted friends.

Focus on a few competencies.

Practice, practice, practice.

Be observant and reflective.

Dont expect immediate results.

Learn from your mistakes.

Acknowledge your successes.

Unit IV


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Counseling, Coaching &

Mentoring

Counseling:-


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g

It is a problem solving technique which uses a one

onone process to help employees solve their

problem.

Psychotherapy through counseling provides

opportunities for those seeking help to live more

satisfying and happy lives.

A counselor does not label or diagnose you. Performance counseling:-

It is the help provided by the manager to his

subordinates in analyzing their performance and

other job behavior in order to increase the jobeffectiveness.

Objectives of counseling


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It aims at development of the counselee. Help him to realize his potential.

Strengths and weakness

More insight on ones behavior

Better understanding of environment

Increase personal & interpersonal effectiveness

Set goals and action plans

Review the progress

Types of counseling


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Directive counseling:-

Process of listening to a members problem, deciding withthe member what should be done, and then encouragingand motivating the person to do it.

Nondirective counseling:-

Or client centered counseling is the process of skillfullylistening to a counselee, encouraging the person to explainbothersome problems, helping him/her to understandthose problems and determine courses of action.

Listen between the lines

Individual counseling:-


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Provides one-to-one interaction between you and acounselor, on a short term basis.

Group counseling:- Provides an opportunity for inter interaction with

others who share similar concerns or themes.

Outreach and student development:- Student workshops, seminars and other educational

programmes. Crisis counseling:-

To assess psychological emergencies that warrantimmediate intervention.

Faculty and staff intervention:- Faculty and staff are in a unique position to recognize

and refer those students who appear distressed.

Counseling process


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Counseling

Communication Helping

Influencing

Responding

Listening

Feedback

Empathy

Development

Mutuality

PositiveReinforcement

Autonomy

Identification

Phases of Counseling process


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Phases of Counseling process

Develop Relationships respect,genuineness, empathy, equality, listening,confidentiality.

Define Problems examine the problem,prioritise relevant issues, focusing on theperspective, accept the problem, emphasize

on self responsibility, analyse and solve theproblem


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Determine goals choose & prioritize thegoals and objectives, making commitment,.

Decide plan of action generating and

exploring alternatives, decision making,specific steps

Follow up All talk & No action, Emotional

Block.

Conditions for Effective


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counseling

Openness and trust Helpful attitude

Dialogic relationship

Work oriented behavior

Work related problems

Avoidance of discussion of salary andother rewards

Being patient while listening to theemployee

Not jumping to conclusions

Critical Dimensions of


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Counseling

Empathy:- Ability to perceive the clients feelings, and to

demonstrate accurate perception to the client.

Warmth:-

Unconditional positive regard. It involves acceptingand caring about the client as a person, regardless

any evaluation of his behaviors or thoughts.

Respect:-

Our belief in the clients ability to make appropriatedecisions and deal appropriately with his/her life

situation.

Congruence:-


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Or genuineness is being honest andauthentic in our dealings with our client.

It also involves knowing our limits in terms ofskills, time and energy and not committingourselves beyond those limits.

Confidentiality:- Normally means that anything discussed

during a counseling session is held asabsolutely private and not discussedelsewhere.

This is essential to the client feeling safe inspeaking about intimate and painful matters.

Approaches to counseling:


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pp g Humanistic approach client centered.

Behavioral approach

Cognitive approach thinking

Transaction analysis nurturing parent.

How to learn counseling?Workshop Watching videos

Certificates In-house trainingReading Degrees offered

Elements in counseling training: Theory input

Self exploration Make a skill framework

Relating practice to theory.

ELEMENTS OF COUNSELLING


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Listening The problem at hand

Bulls eye of the problem

Recognising and admitting feelings & criticism

Problem solving and influencing the directions.

Counselling helping strategy


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Concerned with the client Concerned with the problem

Include the client in solving the problem

Exclude the client from solving the problem

Telling

Manipulating

Advicing

Counselling

PREDICTING PEOPLES PROBLEMS


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Managers to solve problems training &experience, promotion

Problem

reality differs from expectationrevenue expected cash flow

proposed pdtn actual pdtn

Problem in orgn technical, human



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elcot sagarus 3 factors to balance1. equitable payment when payment is felt to befair

2. content of work itself3. capacity of individual

Sigmond frued authority and position of ldr

- interpersonal relations



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HERZBERGS REASONS

Personality

External problems

Organisational related

Personality problems


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Stems from nature of individuals(behaviour)- poor self image but high opinion of others

- poor self image but low opinion of others

- an over estimation of his own abilitiesPeople in orgn develop variety of feelings (beh)

go in for counselling

Causes for anxiety tech. competence,underwork, over work, uncertain future, relationship

External problems -Reasons for

i


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counselling

Keeping & losing a job Unsatisfactory / conflicting working relation

Felt injustices or nepotism & favouritism

Unsaturated relation with authority Job development

Absenteeism due to experimental relation

- alcoholism

Organisational problems


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Behavioural predictors due to dynamics whichaffect perf. at work.

problems may be due to

- marriage, bereavement, depressionFrued work of mourning requires a great deal of

mental & emotional energy & effort

Depression lack of sleep,drive, alcoholism,smoke illness requires professional help

JOURNEY INTO LIFE SPACE


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Kurt lewin understand group dynamics Philosophy of here and now

LS of child & LS of adult differs hence

understanding between the force is a must LS of adult kurt 5 stages

- Easier to establish contact with children

- Gaining entry not an easy task- Every one develops phisical way of defending

others

How to behave within LS


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Entry into LS priviledged process Honour & respect the sentiments of others

Do not crititcize others which leads to

threatening Ways to explore LS

- People tend to push unpleasant facts &

memories- Cr to help people see things in difft angles

- Cr leads the process by putting difft type of

questions


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MENTORING

Mentorship


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p

A mentor is an individual with expertisewho can help develop the career of a

mentee. The mentor guides, trains, advises,

and promotes the career development of thementee.

Two types of mentoring functions:

Career Psychosocial

Mentoring Functions


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g

Career Functions: Help the mentee learnthe ropes and prepare for career

advancement.

Coaching Challenging assignments

Exposure and visibility

Protection

Mentoring Functions


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g

Psychosocial Functions: Help the menteedevelop a sense of competence and clarity

of identity.

Role-Modeling Acceptance and confirmation

Counseling

Friendship

Stages of Mentoring


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g g

Initiation Stage

Cultivation Stage

Separation Stage

Redefinition Stage

Not all stages are beneficial to the mentor or tothe mentee.

Advantages of Mentoring


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g g

Advantages for the mentee: Career advancement

Salary

Organizational/professional identification

Advantages for the mentor: Career enhancement

Passing the torch to a new generation

Learning from mentee new technologies, newdevelopments, important features of nextgeneration

Disadvantages of Mentoring


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Disadvantages for the mentee: Overdependence on the mentor

Micro-management from the mentor

Negative halo from mentor who fails

Disadvantages for the mentor: Mentee dependence on mentor

Time, energy commitment to mentee

Negative halo from mentee who fails

Problems With Cross-


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Gender Mentoring

Most common form of business mentoring:male mentor and male mentee.

Other forms:

Male mentor and female mentee (most common) Female mentor and male mentee

Female mentor and female mentee (rare)

Advice for Same-Gender

d d i


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and Cross-Gender Mentoring

Keep relationship professional Be sensitive to other peoples reactions and

potential rumors

Avoid perception of personal relationship Meet in public venues

Transparency of relationship

Formal Mentoring Programs


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Program length is specified (12 months) Purpose of program is to help early career

psychologists establish and develop theircareers

Program participation is voluntary Matching of mentors and mentees uses input

from participants Interest areas in psychology Demographics Experiences

Role of Mentees


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Seek counsel and advice, not a supervisor whodirects actions.

Be aware of potential pitfalls: Overbearing

mentor, mentor exploitation of mentees

work. Be sensitive to the differencebetween asking for help/advice from your

mentor and demanding favors from your

mentor.

Synthesize lessons learned from all

mentors become your own person.

Recognize dynamics of relationship.

Role of Mentors


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Offer advice that helps mentee develop role is NOT to make decisions for mentee or

micromanage.

Train to be efficient. Guidance and advice for one

mentee may also be appropriate for another. Be aware of potential pitfalls: overdependence of

mentee, mentee exploitation of mentors influence.

Be sensitive to difference between developing a

mentee and using a mentee.

Be aware of dynamics of relationship: Developmental

needs may change.

Distance Mentoring


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How to use e-mail Use e-mail to set up meetings (face-to-face or phone),

clarify plans/goals, pose non-time urgent questions, reviewplans, maintain contact.

Dont use e-mail to give critical or complex feedback,

provide impressions of others behavior, provideimpressions of third parties, exchange sensitiveinformation.

Communication Challenges Listen for nonverbal cues (e.g., pregnant pauses, voice

tone, tempo, volume) Push for specific information, clarify meanings

Summarize agreements

Unit V


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Assertiveness

Assertiveness


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It is the ability to express yourself and yourrights without violating the rights of others.

It is appropriately direct, open and honestcommunication which is self enhancing and

expressive. Will allow you to feel self-confident and will

generally gain you the respect of your peersand friends.

Will improve your decision making ability andpossibly your chances of getting what youreally want from life.

Legitimate rights


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The right to decide how to lead your life.

The right to your own values, beliefs, opinions, andemotions.

The right not to justify or explain your action or feelings toothers.

The right to tell others how you wish to be treated.

The right to express yourself and say No, I dont know,I dont care.

The right to ask for information or help.

The right to change your mind.

The right to like yourself even though youre not perfect. The right to have positive, satisfying relationships within

which you feel.

The right to change, enhance, or develop your life inanyway you determine.

Assertiveness is expressing our thoughts,feelings and beliefs in a direct honest


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feelings and beliefs in a direct, honestand appropriate way.

We are consciously working toward awin-win solution.

Aggressiveness is we put our wants,

needs, and rights above those of others. Strives for a win-lose solution.

Nonassertive behavior is passive andindirect. It permits others to violate ourrights and shows a lack of respect for ourown needs.

It creates a lose-win situation.

Categories of assertive

behavior


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behaviorChrisoff and Kelly at 1985

Refusal assertiveness how to say no at the right time andin the right way. State your position Explain your reason Express understanding

Commendatory assertiveness telling people how youfeel. Express positive feelings Express negative feelings

Request assertiveness to get information, clarification,and ask for what you want. State the problem Make a request Getting clarification

Assertiveness cycle


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Assertiveness

Getting what

you wantSelf confidence

High self esteem

How to develop Assertive

skills


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skills

Be direct, honest & open about your feelings, opinions andstate your goals

Dont let your friends, etc to reinforce their behavior onyou.

Be honest in giving & receiving complement.

Learn to say NO to unreasonable requests.

Avoid why questions then you tend to be defensive.

Recognize & respect rights of your friends & others.

Ask for feedback.

Use appropriate tone and body posture.

Develop your vocabulary Dress well

Maintain dignity always

Focus on your strengths

Keep cool

Assertiveness and work


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Unpack the workplace kit bag beliefs rules. Exploring some workplace myths, mistakes not

allowed what facts.

Handling oppositions 3 stage message identifybehavior state the effect ask for change

Giving & receiving feedback

Win-win situation

Assertiveness techniques


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Behavior rehearsal: Literally practicing how you want to look and sound.

Repeated Assertion (the broken record) Use calm repetition and say what you want and stay focused on this issue.

Fogging this technique allows you to receive criticism comfortably, without getting anxious

or defensive, and without rewarding manipulative criticism.

Negative enquiry Seeks out criticism about yourself in close relationships by prompting the

expression of honest, negative feelings to improve communication.

Negative assertion Lets you look more comfortably at negatives in your own behavior.

Workable compromise When you feel that your self-respect is not in question, consider a workable

compromise with the other person.

Assertive Communication


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Make statements that are honest, clear, brief,

and to the point

Use I statement : Id like, I appreciate, I

think

Distinguish between fact and opinion

Ask, dont tell

Offer improvement suggestions, not advice

and commands

Verbally,

assertive

people :



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Verbally,

assertive

people :

Offer constructive criticism, free of blame,

assumptions, and shoulds

Ask questions to find out the thoughts and

feelings of others

Respect the rights of others as well as their

own rights

Communicate mutual respect where the needs

of two people conflict, and look for mutually

acceptable solutions



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Non

Verbally,

assertive

people :

Make appropriate eye contact

Sit or stand firmly and comfortably erect

Gesture openly to support their comments

Speak in a clear, steady, firm tone of voice



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Non

Verbally,

assertive

people :

Maintain open, steady, relaxed facial

expressions, smiling when pleased,

frowning when angry

Speak a steady, even pace, emphasizing keywords, with few awkward hesitations

Manage your body language


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g y y g g

Sit or stand at right angles and on the same level, and respect

peoples personal space zones

Use open gestures and body language

Center your attention exclusively on the other person

Lean slightly forward to show interest; a bit further forward to

apply pressure, slightly back to reduce pressure

Manage your body language


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g y y g g

Maintain appropriate eye contact while listening to encourage the

speaker; increase eye contact to apply pressure; reduce it to lower

pressure

Respond appropriately by basing your responses on what the other

person has just said

Be relaxed and balanced to make relaxed and open communication

easier

managing interpersonal effectiveness 2012 - 13

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