Why Opposites AttractMarc Firestone

Many people say that opposites attract, while others believe that people areattracted to those most like themselves. Although we may be attracted to a

person for qualities dissimilar to our own, those qualities often drive a wedgelater on down the road and cause one person, or both, to wish that their spouse

was more like them.

That being said, those same qualities that drive couples apart areoften the driving force behind a long marriage or relationship.

Why Aren’t We More Alike?

Many wonder how couples can last so long in a marriage where they obviouslyare annoyed by the personality traits of the other. The downward spiral that

entraps so many couples often ends their marriage altogether.However, many couples reverse the trend and reignite the spark that led them

to get married in the first place.

To put this into context, let’s say awife goes to a marriage counselor

complaining that she feelsuncomfortable that her spouse istoo social and outgoing, or he’stoo introverted or shy. She

wonders why he can’t be morelike her. A counselor may ask herwhy she married him partner tobegin with. More often than not,the wife will say that she was

attracted to her husband becausehe brings out her talkative side or

intellectual side.

They ended up marrying because they bring outthe qualities in each other that they couldn’t doon their own. They balance one another out, andin turn, they both feel whole. When both peoplein a relationship realize this, that’s when theyremember why they got married to begin with.

The Upward Spiral

Relationships take work. When you stop and think aboutall the times your spouse has come to your rescue, youstart to realize all the value that they bring to your life. Inthe beginning, many relationships are easy and don’t

take much work at all. Over time, they begin to take morework and understanding to make them function.

When a husband or wifestarts to realize thedrawbacks of their

personality, they can reallystart to appreciate whattheir spouse brings to thetable. Instead of viewing thepersonality of the other as ahindrance, they view theirpartner as an asset. Also,

part of making a relationshipstand the test of time isknowing what actions totake, and what actions aregoing to yield the bestresults for both people.

Differences Are Attractive

People are looking for ways to balance themselves out and make themselveswhole. No one is born with a complete personality, and no one has all the skillsthey need. That’s why we look for others with traits different than ours. Of course,

many people don’t want to be dependent on each other, but having a partnerthat fills in your shortcomings and compliments your strengths is perfect.

Another word for this is“completion”. This refers to acouple that grows together asa couple, and as an individual,

because of their uniquepartnership to each other.They both become more

“complete” people during thelength of their relationship.

Finding Your Opposite

Find a partner that shares a few of your traits and the samevalues as yourself, but is genuinely different personality wise. Thedifference in personality causes a healthy level of tension, and itkeeps the relationship progressing during the initial stages ofcourtship. It’s also the power supply for long-term stability.

Staying Together

When couples understand why they balance each other out, or “complete”

one another, the relationship is rekindled. Couples that realize this aftermany years of despising each other feel rejuvenated, appreciated, andhave a feeling of satisfaction that they married the right person.