marriage in islam - skmet.co.uk · 7 steps to finding a spouse 1 •work upon yourself - advance in...
TRANSCRIPT
Importance of Learning About
Marriage
Recent study shows 1 in every 4 couples are no longer in love
Rights are left unfulfilled and neglected
Domestic violence and abuse Divorce rates are higher than ever
Importance of Studying about Marriage
Why Should I Marry?
Marriage is worship
Marriage is a Sunnah of the Prophets
Natural need of a human
Children
Means of chastity
Celibacy is prohibited in Islam
Why Some Evade Marriage
Why some do not marry
1) Do not want commitment
2) Do not want responsibilities
3) Really fussy in choosing
4) Career is more beloved
5) Society and custom stops them
6) Suffering from inferiority complex
What To Look For in A Spouse
Good Character
Piety Similar mindset
LooksLoving Similar
lifestyles
7 Steps To Finding A Spouse
1• Work upon yourself - Advance in your closeness to Allah and improve your character
2• Make dua'
3• Put yourself in the limelight- speak to parents, scholars, friends and relatives
4• Thorough homework on any prospective spouses
5• Istikharah
6• Make the move - One should adopt the most modest and genuine manner when 'putting a word across'
7• Look at the prospective spouse.
Duas To Read When Looking For a Spouse
نيا حسنة وفي الخرة حسنة وقنا عذاب النار (201الية /سورة البقرة )ربنا آتنا في الد
Translation: “Oh Allah! Grant us goodness in this world and goodness in the Hereafter and
protect us from the punishment of the Hellfire”
إن ي لما أنزلت إلي من خير فقير (24الية / سورة القصص)رب
O My Lord! I am in need of all goodness you give to me.
ة أعين واجعلنا للمتقين إم ياتنا قر (74الية / سورة الفرقان)اما ربنا هب لنا من أزواجنا وذر
"Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an
example for the righteous."
Looking At A Prospective Spouse
“Go and look at her, for there is something in the eyes of the Ansar”. (Muslim)
“Look at her, for it may produce love between you.” (Tirmidhi)
“When one of you proposes to a woman for marriage, then if he is able to look at what will induce him to marry her, he should do so.” (Abu Dawud)
Istikharah
Istikhārah is to seek good from Allah.
Istikhārah is not a coin toss!
Istikhārah is not dependent on dreams
Istikhārah is merely asking Allah for good in whatever you decide.
The Istikharah Supplication
قدر، وتعلم وال أعلم، وأنت ر وال أ ألك من فضلك العظيم، فإنك تقد اللهم إن ي أستخيرك بعلمك وأستقدرك بقدرتك، وأسم الغيوب، اللهم إن كنت تعلم أن فاقدره لي ويس ره لي، ثم مر هذا األمر خير لي في ديني ومعاشي وعاقبة أ عل
اصرفني عنه، ن ي و ومعاشي وعاقبة أمر فاصرفه ع بارك لي فيه، وإن كنت تعلم أن هذا األمر شر لي في دينيواقدر لي الخير حيث كان، ثم أرضني
Translation:
O Allah! I seek from You a decision by virtue of Your Knowledge (of what is best), and I seek from You the ability (to realize my object) by virtue of Your Power, and I ask You (to grant me) from Your Great Bounty, for indeed You have power and I do not have power, and You know and I do not know, and You are the Knower of the unseen. Oh Allah! If, according you Your Knowledge, this matter is good for me with regards to my religious affairs, my worldly life and my final outcome (i.e. in the Hearafter), then direct it towards me and ease it for me, thereafter grant me blessing in it. And if according to Your Knowledge, this matter is evil for me with regards to my religious affairs, my worldly life and my final outcome (i.e. Hearafter), then turn it away from me and turn me away from it. And direct towards me that which is good, no matter where it is, thereafter make me pleased with it (i.e. that good.)”
Engagement
Engagement is merely an agreement and promise to marry in the near future.
Engagement is does not permit interaction between the engaged.
How A Nikah Is Complete In Islam
Offer and Acceptance
Witnesses Nikah
The Common Dower/Mahr
al-Mahr al-Fatimi:
Mahr Fatimi is that dowry stipulated for Sayyidah Fatima radhiallahu anha.
The preferred opinion is that the amount was 480 Dirhams.
Mahr al-Azwāj al-Nabī (Mahr of Wives of Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam):
The Mahr Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam gave to his wives. The value is calculated at
500 dirhams of silver.
www.darulfiqh.comZakat & Mahr Indices -Updated Daily
35 Major World Currencies
Walimah
The Messenger of Allah salallahu alayhi wasallam said (to Abdur Rahman ibn Awf):
“May Allah bless you (in your marriage), offer a feast, even if it is only with a goat.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari no. 4872)
The groom is responsible to provide the Walīmah.
How To Be An Ideal Spouse
Know the feelings and thoughts of your spouse
The Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam was telling Sayyidah Aisha radhiallahu anha : "I know well when you are pleased or angry with me. Aisha replied: How you know that? He said: When you are pleased with me you swear by saying "By the God of Mohammad" but when you are angry you swear by saying "By the God of Ibrahim". She said: You are right, I don’t mention your name.” (Sahih al-Bukhārī)
Console and support
Sayyidah Safiyah radhiallahu anha was on a journey with the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam. She was late so the
Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam received her while she was crying. The Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam wiped her tears with his own hands and tried his utmost to calm her down. (al-Sunan al-Kubrā)
Be loving and romantic
The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would recline in the lap of our beloved mother Sayyidah Aisha radaillahu anhaeven in the state when she would be menstruating. (Sahih al-Bukhārī)
The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would recite the Qur῾ān whilst reclining in his wife’s lap. (Sahih al-Bukhārī)
The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would put his lips on the very same place his beloved wife drank from. He would then drink the contents of the cup. (Nasa’i)
How To Be An Ideal Spouse
Help at home!
The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would clean and help at home. He would see to his needs himself
rather than demanding his wife. He would clean and see to his clothing himself. (Sahih Ibn Hibban)
Spend time together
The Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam would go for walk at night with his beloved wife. (Sahih al-Bukhārī)
Play and have fun with spouse
The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would exercise and play with his wife also. The famous incident of the
Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam challenging his wife to race is well known.
How To Be An Ideal Spouse
Dress for your spouse
Sayyiduna Ibn Abbās radiallahu anhu said: "As my wife adorns herself for me, I adorn myself for her.
(Musannaf Ibn Abi Shaybah)
Smell nice
The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would have a container for perfume. He would use perfume
constantly. (Abu Dawud)
Protect the secrets of your spouse
The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam described the one who discloses his wife’s affairs to others as amongst
the worst of people. (Sahih Muslim)
Love and respect your in-laws
The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam was once asked whom he loved the most. He replied, “Aisha.” When
the questioner rephrased his question and asked from amongst the men, he replied, “Her father.”
Session 2
Talaq (Divorce)
What Is Talaq?
Ṭalāq Amputation
ṬalāqLack of compatibility
Conflict & discord
Domestic violence
disobeying & opposing
spouse Financial disagree
mentsA lack of intimacy and love between
the spouses
Answering back by spouse
Factors Leading To Talaq
Qur’anic Guidelines To Prevent
Divorce
فعظوهن - Communicate with positive speech!
واهجروهن في المضاجع - Temporary physical separation
واضربوهن - Light discipline
حكما من أهله وحكما من أهلها - Mediation
لحا فل جناح عليهما أن يصلحا بينهما ص - Settlement with ultimatum