Marriage Marriage Teaches Us to LoveTeaches Us to Love

Your Love for God is reflected Your Love for God is reflected by the Love You Have by the Love You Have

for Your Spouse.for Your Spouse.

1 John 4:20-21 (NASB)1 John 4:20-21 (NASB)

20 If someone says, "I love God," and 20 If someone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen. 21 And this whom he has not seen. 21 And this commandment we have from Him, commandment we have from Him, that that the one who loves God should the one who loves God should love his brother alsolove his brother also..

How to Have Love in Marriage. How to Have Love in Marriage.

Love is Love is chosenchosen (not an “irresistible (not an “irresistible force” / i.e. falling in love)force” / i.e. falling in love)

Genesis 24:67 (NASB)Genesis 24:67 (NASB)

Then Isaac brought her into his Then Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and he took mother Sarah's tent, and he took Rebekah, and she became his wife; Rebekah, and she became his wife; and and he loved herhe loved her; thus Isaac was ; thus Isaac was comforted after his mother's death.comforted after his mother's death.

God God commandscommands husbands and wives husbands and wives to love one another to love one another

(Eph. 5:25; Titus 2:4).(Eph. 5:25; Titus 2:4).

How to Have Love in Marriage. How to Have Love in Marriage.

Love is chosen.Love is chosen.

Love is learned as we Love is learned as we practicepractice it. it.

Marriage is truly a Marriage is truly a “labor of love”“labor of love” (1 Thes. 1:3); it takes hard work or (1 Thes. 1:3); it takes hard work or

lots of practice to get it right!lots of practice to get it right!

Titus 2:3-5 (NASB)Titus 2:3-5 (NASB)3 Older women likewise are to be reverent 3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips, nor in their behavior, not malicious gossips, nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, 4 good, 4 that they may encourage (“teach” that they may encourage (“teach” KJV) the young women to love their KJV) the young women to love their husbandshusbands, to love their children, 5 to be , to love their children, 5 to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, that being subject to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be dishonored.the word of God may not be dishonored.

How to Have Love in Marriage. How to Have Love in Marriage.

Love is chosen.Love is chosen.

Love is learned as we practice it. Love is learned as we practice it.

Love is to Love is to increaseincrease more and more. more and more.

1 Thessalonians 4:9-10 (NKJV)1 Thessalonians 4:9-10 (NKJV)

9 But concerning brotherly love you 9 But concerning brotherly love you have no need that I should write to have no need that I should write to you, for you yourselves are taught by you, for you yourselves are taught by God God to love one anotherto love one another; 10 and ; 10 and indeed you do so toward all the indeed you do so toward all the brethren who are in all Macedonia. brethren who are in all Macedonia. But we urge you, brethren, that you But we urge you, brethren, that you increase more and more;increase more and more;

Marriage Teaches Us to Love, Marriage Teaches Us to Love, Especially when it is Difficult to do so.Especially when it is Difficult to do so.

What sets apart Christian love is What sets apart Christian love is our love for people our love for people when they are when they are most difficult to lovemost difficult to love..

Luke 6:32-34 (NASB)Luke 6:32-34 (NASB)32 "32 "And if you love those who love you, what And if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you?credit is that to you? For even sinners love For even sinners love those who love them. those who love them. 33 "And if you do good to those who do good to 33 "And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 "And if you lend to sinners do the same. 34 "And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, in order to receive back the same sinners, in order to receive back the same amount.amount.

Luke 6:35-36 (NASB)Luke 6:35-36 (NASB)35 "But 35 "But love your enemieslove your enemies, and do , and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be return; and your reward will be great, great, and you will be sons of the and you will be sons of the Most HighMost High; for He Himself is kind to ; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men. 36 "Be ungrateful and evil men. 36 "Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful, just as your Father is merciful. merciful. - cf. Romans 5:6-8- cf. Romans 5:6-8

Like “the proof of your faith” Like “the proof of your faith” that is tested by various trials that is tested by various trials

(1 Pet. 1:6-7), (1 Pet. 1:6-7), “the proof of your “the proof of your love” will be tested by love” will be tested by the trials in marriage.the trials in marriage.

Marriage Teaches Us to Love, Marriage Teaches Us to Love, Especially when it is Difficult to do so.Especially when it is Difficult to do so.

What sets apart Christian love is What sets apart Christian love is our love for people when they are our love for people when they are most difficult to love.most difficult to love.

When it is difficult to love your When it is difficult to love your spouse, do not play “the blame spouse, do not play “the blame game” butgame” but love as a Christian love as a Christian should.should.

Many cop out…Many cop out…

““The truth is The truth is II never loved you” never loved you”

(this is a confession (this is a confession of a failure to love!)of a failure to love!)

1 John 4:10-11 (NASB)1 John 4:10-11 (NASB)

10 In this is love, not that we loved 10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one loved us, we also ought to love one another.another.

Lessons of Love Marriage Lessons of Love Marriage Can Teach Us.Can Teach Us.

Marriage teaches us the Marriage teaches us the importance of selfimportance of selflesslessness.ness.

Philippians 2:3-4 (NASB)Philippians 2:3-4 (NASB)

3 Do nothing from selfishness or 3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one mind let each of you regard one another as more important than another as more important than himself; 4 himself; 4 do not merely look out do not merely look out for your own personal interests, for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.but also for the interests of others.

1 Corinthians 13:4-5 (NASB)1 Corinthians 13:4-5 (NASB)

4 Love is patient, love is kind, and 4 Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,into account a wrong suffered,

Deuteronomy 24:5 (NASB)Deuteronomy 24:5 (NASB)

When a man takes a new wife, he When a man takes a new wife, he shall not go out with the army, nor shall not go out with the army, nor be charged with any duty; he shall be charged with any duty; he shall be free at home one year and be free at home one year and shall shall give happinessgive happiness to his wife whom he to his wife whom he has taken.has taken. - 1 Cor. 7:33- 1 Cor. 7:33

Lessons of Love Marriage Lessons of Love Marriage Can Teach Us.Can Teach Us.

Marriage teaches us the Marriage teaches us the importance of selflessness.importance of selflessness.

Marriage teaches us to deny self Marriage teaches us to deny self and make sacrifices.and make sacrifices.

Luke 9:23 (NASB)Luke 9:23 (NASB)

And He was saying to them all, "If And He was saying to them all, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, anyone wishes to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up let him deny himself, and take up his cross dailyhis cross daily, and follow Me., and follow Me.

Marriage can teach a person what Marriage can teach a person what it means to truly LOVE: it means to truly LOVE:

to make sacrifices, to make sacrifices, to give of yourself, to give of yourself,

to lay down your life for another to lay down your life for another personperson (John 15:12-13). (John 15:12-13).

Lessons of Love Marriage Lessons of Love Marriage Can Teach Us.Can Teach Us.

Marriage teaches us the Marriage teaches us the importance of selflessness.importance of selflessness.

Marriage teaches us to deny self Marriage teaches us to deny self and make sacrifices.and make sacrifices.

Marriage teaches us how to love Marriage teaches us how to love another person as ourselves.another person as ourselves.

James 2:8 (NASB)James 2:8 (NASB)

If, however, you are fulfilling the If, however, you are fulfilling the royal law, according to the royal law, according to the Scripture, "Scripture, "You shall love your You shall love your neighbor as yourselfneighbor as yourself," you are ," you are doing well.doing well.

Above all, you are just as concerned Above all, you are just as concerned about your husband’s or wife’s about your husband’s or wife’s

spiritualspiritual well-being well-beingas your own.as your own.

By your words and example, By your words and example, you do your best to help your you do your best to help your husband or wife go to Heaven husband or wife go to Heaven

because youbecause you love him/her as yourselflove him/her as yourself!!

1 Timothy 4:16 (NASB)1 Timothy 4:16 (NASB)

Pay close attention to yourself Pay close attention to yourself andand to your teachingto your teaching; persevere in these ; persevere in these things; for as you do this you will things; for as you do this you will insure salvation both for yourself insure salvation both for yourself and for those who hear you.and for those who hear you.

1 Peter 3:1-2 (NASB)1 Peter 3:1-2 (NASB)

1 In the same way, you wives, be 1 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so submissive to your own husbands so that that even if any of them are even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior won without a word by the behavior of their wivesof their wives, 2 as they observe your , 2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.chaste and respectful behavior.

Marriage is a Great Test Marriage is a Great Test on what it means to Love. on what it means to Love. Let Us All Learn to Love Let Us All Learn to Love

Just as God Loved Us.Just as God Loved Us.