Missile Crisis

Mr. LopezAlgebra II Project

• The CIA (Central Intelligence Agency) has recently discovered that an illegal immigrant has been living in Austin, TX for over 8 years under the guise of a high school math teacher (name cannot be disclosed).

• Yesterday, in the middle of the night, the NSA (National Security Agency) showed up at this person’s house and took him and his wife away in the Boeing AH-64 Apache .

• Before the teacher was deported and dropped off blindfolded in a Mexican desert, he proposed an appealing case that will benefit both parties.

• He mentioned that after living most of his life in Piedras Negras, Coahuila he had gathered intel to three exact possible locations of the leader of one of the most powerful and dangerous drug trafficking cartel operating in Mexico known as Los Zetas or “The Z’s”.

• Since this whole time the U.S. Government thought the cartel was located in Nuevo Laredo, Tamaulipas they chose to believe him and listen to what he had to offer…

• This teacher explained that he can prove mathematically where they can place their missile launcher so that they can hit the targets. His only request was that he would be able to consult with his Algebra II students in order to formulate this equation.

• This teacher was so convincing that, on their way back to U.S. soil, the NSA Director contacted the Department of Defense and got the approval to allow him to temporarily stay in U.S. soil.

• The Director of National Intelligence gave him & his students up to November 25, 2013 to submit a proposal with enough mathematical & geographical evidence along with a plan that they could take down Los Zetas. If the plan, evidence & the intel provided in the proposal proved to be correct, the United States of Murica would grant Mr. Lopez & his wife U.S. Citizenship.

While formulating this equation and writing up the proposal I must inform you that Los Zetas are well armed and equipped.

• Los Zetas are Mexico’s largest drug cartel in terms of geographical presence. Their use brutal tactics, which include beheadings, torture and indiscriminate slaughter, show that they often prefer brutality over bribery.

In other words…don’t get too close.