Family Studies 40 S/G

Mock Marriage Project

 

 

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Mock Marriage Project Student Workbook

Purpose To have students explore the “reality of marriage” by participating in mock situations which would imitate real-life situations.

Procedure Over the next week choose a partner. This should be someone with whom you feel comfortable. The person should be reliable and willing to help you complete the entire project. The person does not have to go to this school, but you may need to meet with your partner several times during the project. your choice of “marriage partner” is a serious one. You would remember that you will be working with this partner over several weeks. Should you find it difficult to continue working with your partner, you may choose another, but please inform the teacher. No one is permitted to remain “single”.

Each activity will be assigned a point value. The project will be marked according to the attached rubric. Do not leave the project until the last minute; the comments which take the longest to do account for most of the points. Some class time will be used to complete written parts of the project, but the major part of this assignment must be done with your partner.

Activities Are You Right For Each Other?

• How Do You See Each Other? • Partner Choice: How Compatible Are You? • What Do You want In A Partner? • Occupations • Age For Marriage • Marriage Agreement • The Wedding Plans • Moving Out • Behaviour In My Marriage Partner • Attitudes Toward Differences • Patterns In Early Marriage • Nature Of Marriage • Companions In Marriage • Religion • Finances-Your Budget? Monthly Expenses/Priorities • Parenthood • Cost of Parenthood • Planning For Parenthood • Resolving Conflict • Conclusions

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“Marriage Certificate” This certifies that

Age: Address: Phone: AND Age: Address: Phone:

Have agreed to work together in all exercises in connection with the preparation for marriage and have agreed to bring mutual respect and understanding to this task - and are prepared to complete it for better or worse, whatever their mark may be. It is their understanding that diligent completion of this unit will bring increased understanding of the meaning and the importance of marriage, and enable each to approach marriage in the future in a more mature and beneficial way. Therefore: For the duration of this unit we shall treat them as a couple and expect a mutual effort from them. Signed Witness Signed Witness Date

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Are You Right For Each Other? Answer the following questions as honestly as you can - by placing the letter under the appropriate column.

1. I sometimes eat in bed A. Yes B. No 2. A. I love shopping in bargain stores B. I prefer small but classy stores 3. A. I like to try different foods from different places B. I stick to one or two basic cuisines 4. I enjoy spending an entire day in my bathrobe, even when I’m healthy: A. Frequently

B. Now and then C. Once in a great while D. Never 5. A. I rarely forget the birthday of a close friend B. I rarely remember 6. If I am asked my weight, I usually: A. Tell the truth B. Lie a little 7. A. I like to discuss current events and other things I read about in the newspaper B. I find that kind of talk boring 8. When I clean out closets, I dispose of unneeded clothes by: A. Throwing them away B. Donating them to charity C. Giving them to someone who I know can use them 9. A. I find it very difficult to apologize, even when I’m wrong B. I can say I’m sorry when necessary 10. In smoker/non-smoker confrontations, I usually: A. Say as little as possible to avoid a disagreement B. Act politely but get my way C. Tell the other party what I think about smoking 11. A. I love leftovers of most kinds B. I’ll eat some leftovers the next day, but after that, let them rot C. I never eat leftovers. 12. A. I don’t mind working overtime, if it’s necessary B. I resent being asked to work extra hours.

Partner A Partner B

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13. A. If I couldn’t afford to serve good food and drinks, I’d throw an everybody bring something party

B. If I couldn’t do it all on my own, I’d prefer not to have a party 14. A. I enjoy being with my family for outings B. I’d choose a good friend over a relative 15. To me, sending Christmas cards is A. A pleasure B. A pain C. Something for you to do 16. When I die A. I’d like to be buried B. I’d like to be cremated C. I really couldn’t care less 17. When it comes to T.V., I’d rather watch A. A game show B. A soap opera C. An old movie 18. If I’m going away for the weekend, I prefer A. To leave Friday night, so that Saturday I wake up already there B. To leave early Saturday, so that I’ll have a fresh start 19. If I have trouble falling asleep, I’m most likely to A. Take a pill B. Drink milk C. Just lie there 20. I’m walking downtown, I happen to glance at the sidewalk and discover a $50 bill. I am most likely to A. Buy a treat for myself B. Buy a gift for someone else C. Check with the police 21. People who frequently use four letter words have a vocabulary deficiency A. I agree B. I disagree 22. A. I know exactly where my keys are at all times B. My keys get mislaid a lot 23. Couples should A. Live for today B. Save as much as possible C. Budget wisely 24. The statement I agree with is A. Only one partner should do the housework C. Both partners should share doing housework

Partner A Partner B

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25. When your children are ill A. The same parent should stay home with the child B. Either parent should stay home

Attention: Write a summary of how well-suited you feel you and your partner are in relation to general

values/interests. Do not omit this part; your reactions are what marks are based on. A _______________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ B __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________

Partner A Partner B

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How Do You See Each Other? Circle the appropriate symbol which describes your potential partner.

1 – Very 2 – Somewhat 3 – Hardly at all 4 – Not at all

Characteristics Evaluation of Potential Partner A by Potential Partner B

Tactful 1 2 3 4 Dominating 1 2 3 4 Easy-going 1 2 3 4 Confident 1 2 3 4 Selfish 1 2 3 4 Generous 1 2 3 4 Lazy 1 2 3 4 Self-satisfied 1 2 3 4 Energetic 1 2 3 4

Self-controlled 1 2 3 4 Indecisive 1 2 3 4 Cruel 1 2 3 4 Spiteful 1 2 3 4 Understanding 1 2 3 4 Emotional 1 2 3 4 Affectionate 1 2 3 4 Reliable 1 2 3 4

Childish 1 2 3 4 Self-centred 1 2 3 4 Ambitious 1 2 3 4 Tolerant 1 2 3 4 Shy 1 2 3 4 Mature 1 2 3 4 Responsible 1 2 3 4 Well-mannered 1 2 3 4

Considerate 1 2 3 4 Religious 1 2 3 4 Independent 1 2 3 4 Popular 1 2 3 4 Humorous 1 2 3 4 Honest 1 2 3 4

Discuss your results together. Name: ________________________________What do you think of your partner’s assessment of you?

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How Do You See Each Other? Circle the appropriate symbol which describes your potential partner.

1 – Very 2 – Somewhat 3 – Hardly at all 4 – Not at all

Characteristics Evaluation of Potential Partner B by Potential Partner A Tactful 1 2 3 4 Dominating 1 2 3 4 Easy-going 1 2 3 4 Confident 1 2 3 4 Selfish 1 2 3 4 Generous 1 2 3 4 Lazy 1 2 3 4 Self-satisfied 1 2 3 4 Energetic 1 2 3 4 Self-controlled 1 2 3 4 Indecisive 1 2 3 4

Cruel 1 2 3 4 Spiteful 1 2 3 4 Understanding 1 2 3 4 Emotional 1 2 3 4 Affectionate 1 2 3 4 Reliable 1 2 3 4 Childish 1 2 3 4 Self-centred 1 2 3 4

Ambitious 1 2 3 4 Tolerant 1 2 3 4 Shy 1 2 3 4 Mature 1 2 3 4 Responsible 1 2 3 4 Well-mannered 1 2 3 4 Considerate 1 2 3 4 Religious 1 2 3 4

Independent 1 2 3 4 Popular 1 2 3 4 Humorous 1 2 3 4 Honest 1 2 3 4

Discuss your results together. Name: ________________________________What do you think of your partner’s assessment of you?

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Partner Choice: How Compatible Are You? Before you make a permanent commitment, there are things you should think about and discuss together. This activity is optional and is intended for students who are in a long-term relationship. Answer the following questions about your relationship. YES NO

You want to make the relationship permanent because you love your partner and wish to spend the rest of your life with him/her.

Your parent(s) approve of the match.

You get along well with your partner’s family.

Does your partner get along well with his/her parent(s)?

Have you known your partner longer than one year?

Will you be financially able to live on your own?

Have you discussed money and finances?

Do you agree on your spending and use of credit?

Have you both had experience budgeting money?

Have you both had other girlfriends/boyfriends before now?

Have you spent much time just doing nothing together?

Are you both the same religion?

Is religion important to both of you to the same extent?

Do you share similar: hobbies

interests

goals

ethnic background

family background

Is there less than 5 years difference in your ages?

Have you discussed having children?

How many YES answers were you able to give? (out of 20)

Are you reassured that your partner choice may be a good one?

Comment on your score:

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What Do You Want In A Partner? From the following list of characteristics, choose the top ten that you feel are important in a life partner. Number the traits from 1 to 10 (1 - most desirable, 10 - least desirable).

Partner A Partner B

Sense of Humour Sense of Humour Independent Independent Religious Religious Considerate Considerate Well Mannered Well Mannered Well Educated Well Educated Responsible Responsible Mature Mature Patient Patient Ambitious Ambitious Affectionate Affectionate Understanding Understanding Energetic Energetic Generous Generous Thoughtful Thoughtful Confident Confident Tactful Tactful Good Looking Good Looking Talkative Talkative Popular Popular Good Listener Good Listener Intelligent Intelligent Trustworthy (honest) Trustworthy (honest) Athletic Athletic Younger or Older Younger or Older

Explain why you made your top three choices:

________________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________

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Occupations In this exercise, you and your partner must select a job or occupation you might expect to have in your future. Be realistic in your expectations - select an occupation that is in keeping with your abilities and aptitudes.

Partner A Occupation: Type of Training Required: Number of Years Training Required: ______________________________________________ _____________________________ Job Description: _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ Approximate Starting Salary: ______________________________ Describe effects this occupation might have on married life. eg. long hours, shift work, travel, and danger. _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ Partner B Occupation: ______________________________________ Type of Training Required: Number of Years Training Required: _______________________________________________ _____________________________ Job Description: _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ Approximate Starting Salary: ______________________________ Describe effects this occupation might have on married life. eg. long hours, shift work, travel, and danger. _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________

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Age For Marriage

Present date: ________________________________

Your current age: Partner A: _________ Partner B: _________

For the following questions, project yourself into the future.

How old will you be when you are ready to start your career.

Partner A: _________ Partner B: _________

How many years would you like to work before you decide to get married?

Partner A: _________ Partner B: _________

How old would you like to be when you get married?

Partner A: _________ Partner B: _________

Why do you feel this is a good age to marry?

Partner A ____________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Partner B ____________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________________

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Marriage Agreement Work on this activity together. Fill in the blanks after coming to an agreement on each.

This is a list of items some couples use to decide on various aspects of what their marriage will entail.

Name: What will Partner A’s last name be: _________________________ What will Partner B’s last name be: _________________________

Household Chores (Answer Partner A, B or We) preparing meals cleaning kitchen dusting loading dishwasher sweeping vacuuming cleaning bathroom cleaning floors ironing making bed household repairs laundry snow removal yard work grocery shopping car maintenance other cleaning kitchen

Bank Accounts: Joint accounts Yes ____ No ____ Personal Allowances Yes ____ No ____ Who pays the bills, balances account? _____________________

Living Accommodations: Where do you wish to live? Partner A _________________________ Partner B ________________________ What type of housing do you expect to live in during the first year of marriage? _______________________________________________________________________

Vehicles: Do you expect to own two vehicles? Yes ______ No ______ Type: Partner A Car ____________________ Partner B Car: _______________________ Cost: __________________________ Cost: _______________________________

Entertainment: Eating: Weekly Frequency _________________ Weekly Budget _______________________

Education: Do either of you expect to attend school after marriage? ___________________________

Religion: Whose religion will you follow? Partner A’s ________ Partner B’s ________ Both __________ Will one of you change to the other’s religion?

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Children: When ________________________________

How Many? ___________________________

Spacing: ______________________________ Would either of you stay home to raise children?

Yes ______ No ______ Who? ________________________________

Birth Mother is entitled to maternity leave. Either one can also take parental leave.

Who will it be? _________________________

Birth Control: Whose responsibility? A’s ______ B’s _____ Proposed methods:

Future Goals: (career, travel, housing, own business) Be specific. ________________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________ Guidelines for Fighting: ________________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________

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The Wedding Plans This activity allows you to explore the type and cost of the wedding you might like to have.

Type of Wedding: Do you wish a traditional or non-traditional wedding _______________________________?

What is the approximate budget amount you wish to allot to wedding costs? ___________________

Who will pay wedding costs? ________________ _______________________________________ Number of attendants Number of guests

Together, make decisions and write a brief, general description of your wedding including time of year, type of location, kind of ceremony, wedding party attire, flowers, colour schemes, reception, menu, stag, stagette, unique traditions or customs, cultural influences, honeymoon, etc.

(continued next page)

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Moving Out Before you start, estimate the cost of moving out on your own: Below are lists of items usually found in the various rooms of an apartment. Beside each item place an estimated amount it would cost to buy the item. Then go online or look in flyers and catalogues to find an accurate cost for the items.

Kitchen estimate actual estimate actual

table & chairs cooking utensils

stove, refrigerator can opener

microwave oven measuring equipment

toaster mixing bowls

coffeemaker/teapot cutting knives

kettle dishes

electric beater cutlery

blender glasses

frying pans garbage can

pots other

baking pans

Living Room

sofa end tables

chair(s) lamps

T.V. book shelves

DVD/PVR other

audio other

Bedroom:

bed TV

dresser(s) linens, pillows

night tables other

lamps

Sub totals: Carry sub totals to next page.

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Bathroom estimate actual estimate actual

towels shower curtain

bathmat garbage can

other toilet paper

Miscellaneous Cleaning Supplies

iron/ironing board other

vacuum cleaner other

broom/dust pan other

wet mop and pail other

Media Connections

internet set-up personal computer

cable TV printer

land line other

cell phone other

Subtotal this page:

Subtotal previous page

Total:

Compare your estimate expenses to the actual: estimate dollars actual cost dollars

cost difference dollars

Compare the actual costs to how much you have to spend. What is the difference?

What method will you use to purchase the items you need?

cash from savings credit buy as you can afford them .

Do you both agree on the purchase plan? Partner A

Partner B

Discuss your degree of similarity in taste in furniture, household items (styles, colour schemes) _________________________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________________________

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Behaviour In My Marriage Partner Below is a list of behavioural characteristics in a lifelong partner which would disturb some persons. Circle the proper letters to indicate the extent to which you think each of the items would bother you. Q = quite bothered S = somewhat bothered N = not bothered

How would you feel if your life partner:

Partner A Partner B Q S N 1. Displayed poor table manners in public Q S N Q S N 2. forgot your birthday/anniversary Q S N Q S N 3. yelled at the children Q S N Q S N 4. dressed poorly Q S N Q S N 5. put on lots of weight Q S N Q S N 6. had little interest in church or religion Q S N Q S N 7. was rude to your family Q S N Q S N 8. did not appreciate the things you can do Q S N Q S N 9. had little interest in sex Q S N Q S N 10. used poor grammar Q S N Q S N 11. left clothes, things lying around Q S N Q S N 12. exaggerated the truth Q S N Q S N 13. was a picky eater Q S N Q S N 14. enjoyed drinking Q S N Q S N 15. lacked a sense of humour Q S N Q S N 16. clammed up when angry Q S N Q S N 17. was easily hurt Q S N Q S N 18. told sex jokes often Q S N Q S N 19. wanted considerable personal privacy Q S N Q S N 20. kept things to him/herself Q S N Q S N 21. was extravagant with money Q S N Q S N 22.   had little occupational ambition   Q S N Q S N 23. lacked personal hygiene Q S N Q S N 24. cheated on you Q S N Q S N 25. used foul language Q S N

Reflection: What general types of things seem to bother you the most? Partner A _________________________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________________________________

Partner B _________________________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________________________________

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Attitudes Toward Differences Which of the following differences would you be willing to accept in a marriage partner?

Circle: W = Willing D = Don’t know U = Unwilling

Partner A Partner B

W D U 1. partner is 3 or more years older W D U

W D U 2. our religions differ W D U

W D U 3. partner is two or more inches taller W D U

W D U 4. different basic values about money W D U

W D U 5. different family background, (wealth) W D U

W D U 6. different family background,(culture, traditions) W D U

W D U 7. different colour, nationality W D U

W D U 8. partner has considerable more education W D U

W D U 9. different attitudes about sex roles W D U

W D U 10. difference in intelligence W D U

W D U 11. differences in attitudes about child rearing practices W D U

Reflection:

What does this mean for marriage compatibility? How will you overcome differences? (If both of you are in the class, both must write a short paragraph) __________________________________________________________________________________________

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____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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Patterns In Early Marriage Circle: D = Dislike L = Like for the following statements:

Partner A Partner B

L D 1. All major decisions are thoroughly discussed L D

L D 2. Mealtime is a time for discussion L D

L D 3. Business problems get discussed with the whole family L D

L D 4. Either partner can initiate sex L D

L D 5. Either partner manages the finances L D

L D 6. Either partner takes care of all the business matters L D

L D 7. Your partner is careless with spills and marks on furniture L D

L D 8. Your home is open to your friends L D

L D 9. Birthdays are celebrated without fail L D

L D 10. Family members have lots of individual pursuits L D

L D 11. Either partner takes care of things inside the home L D

L D 12. Either partners is able to spend evenings with respective friends L D

L D 13. Individuals are free to spend money as they wish L D

L D 14. Close family ties are kept on both sides L D

L D 15. You live very close to family L D

L D 16. You live very close to Partner A’s best friends L D

L D 17. You live very close to Partner B’s best friends L D

L D 18. Only one partner works – the other raises the children L D

Reflection:

Do you see any trouble spots (disagreements in answers) ahead in your marriage? Partner A

Partner B

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Nature Of Marriage The statements below include common attitudes and concepts about marriage.

Circle: A = Agree D = Disagree

Partner A Partner B A D 1. The purpose of marriage is for the individual happiness of the partners. A D

A D 2. A successful and happy marriage relationship has to be given care and attention. A D

A D 3. Attaining economic security is a wholly unsatisfactory motive for marriage. A D

A D 4. If two people are really in love, they will be able to work out any marital difficulties. A D

A D 5. Before they decide to marry, every couple should see a good counsellor. A D A D 6. Parents should have more voice in the mate selection activities of children. A D

A D 7. Marriages would work out better if the roles of the partners were more sharply defined. A D

A D 8. Family control is the role of one partner. A D

A D 9. If, after marriage, one finds someone they love more, they should seek happiness with that person. A D

A D 10. A marriage without children would be unsatisfactory. A D A D 11. Working at marriage takes the romance out of it. A D

A D 12. Sexual maladjustment may be one of the main factors in marriage dissatisfaction. A D

A D 13. In a certain sense, when two people marry, they marry each other’s families. A D A D 14. Young people today take marriage much too casually. A D A D 15. “Good friends first” makes for a happy and successful marriage. A D A D 16. I do not tolerate prejudice. A D

Partner A: I agree with statement # ____ because ______________________

_________________________________________________________

I disagree with statement # ____ because _________________________

_________________________________________________________

Partner B: I agree with statement # ____ because ______________________

_________________________________________________________

I disagree with statement # ____ because

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Companions In Marriage Marriage partners who are good friends know that companionship in marriage centres in mutual experiences. Below are some suggestions of experiences which may be shared in marriage. Circle the letter which indicates for each the importance you would give to doing together: M = much S = some L = little

Partner A Partner B

M S L 1. conversation about daily events M S L M S L 2. participating in sports/ recreational activities M S L M S L 3. holidaying M S L M S L 4. frequent discussion about child raising M S L M S L 5. studying or taking courses M S L M S L 6. hobbies M S L M S L 7. involvement in church activities M S L M S L 8. watching T.V. M S L M S L 9. interest in arts and music M S L M S L 10. entertaining friends and relatives M S L M S L 11. social activities - theatre, dance M S L M S L 12. discussing ideas from reading books M S L M S L 13. routine house maintenance M S L M S L 14. home decorating/renovating M S L M S L 15. establishing a name in the community M S L M S L 16. talking about work M S L M S L 17. working at your job M S L M S L 18. making decisions about family finances M S L M S L 19. buying Christmas presents, writing cards M S L M S L 20. going grocery shopping M S L M S L 21. making meals and cleaning up M S L M S L 22. conversation about daily events M S L

Comment on two that mean the most to you. _________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________

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Religion How important to you is regular religious observance? Partner A Partner B a. very important b. important c. some importance d. no importance When married, will you want to attend religious services? a. weekly b. bi-weekly c. occasionally d. rarely e. never Would you strive to attend religious services as a whole family? a. yes b. no If you were married, would you want your children to follow: a. my religion b. my partner’s religion c. choose a new religion d. let them pick a religion when older e. prefer to keep religion out of their training If you see yourself as not particularly religious, what decision will you make regarding the religious ceremony? a. church wedding b. minister come to the house c. no formality d. go to a justice of the peace e. create our own ceremony and vows Write a short paragraph explaining both your views on the subject of religion.

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Finances - Your Budget

Estimate your yearly income based on your years of job experience. This budget is based on your first year of marriage using your estimated wage for that year.

Step 1: Your Yearly Gross Salary Partner A ( )_____________________________

Partner B ( ) ____________________________

Combined Gross Salary _______________________

Step 2: Calculate Yearly Net Salary (use an average 30% reduction from gross salary) to get your take home pay. Yearly Net Salary How to calculate: Yearly net income = gross salary minus – 30 % Show your calculation. Partner A ( )_____________________________

Partner B ( ) ____________________________

Combined Net Yearly Salary _______________________

Combined Monthly Net Income (Net Yearly Income divided by 12) =

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Expenses Try to estimate approximate yearly costs for the following: (Visit web site: www.gov.mb.ca/agriculture/homeec, check with parents etc.) 1. Car Insurance 2. Annual Vacation 3. Gifts (holidays, birthdays, donations including Christmas) 4. Driver’s License ( for both) 5. Membership Fees (eg. Fitness, Costco, Netflix) 6. Dental (insurance and payments) 7. Optical (insurance and payments) 8. Prescription Medication (insurance and payments) 9. Other yearly costs a. Loans (student, car) b. Other Yearly Total: Monthly Average: Divide yearly by 12

Try to estimate approximate monthly costs for the following: 1. Household groceries 2. Eating Out (restaurants, fast food, snacks, coffee) 3. Corner Store 4. Housing (rent, mortgage, condo fees) 5. Parking (home) 6. Utilities (hydro, water) 7. House/Tenant insurance 8. Media Connections (phone, cell phone, internet, cable) 9. Entertainment (sports, concerts) 10. Media ( music, apps, games, movies, rentals) 11. Clothing (purchases, maintenance, dry cleaning) 12. Gasoline/Bus Fare 13. Car maintenance 14. Parking (public, work) 15. Personal grooming (toiletries, cosmetics, hairdresser) 16. Personal items (non-prescription pharmacy) 17. Tobacco/alcohol 18. Reading materials (books, newspapers, magazines)

Total estimated monthly costs

Total Monthly Expenses (Add monthly average above to total of this section)

Monthly Net Income from Page 24 Amount you are able to realistically save per month or shortfall

(Monthly Net Income - Total Monthly Expenses (+/-ve) __________________

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Priorities Each of you must make a list of priorities (in order of spending) on which to spend your savings.

Partner A Partner B 1. ___________________________________ 1. ___________________________________ 2. ___________________________________ 2. ___________________________________ 3. ___________________________________ 3. ___________________________________ 4. ___________________________________ 4. ___________________________________ 5. ___________________________________ 5. ___________________________________ 6. ___________________________________ 6. ___________________________________ 7. ___________________________________ 7. ___________________________________ 8. ___________________________________ 8. ___________________________________ 9. ___________________________________ 9. ___________________________________ 10. ___________________________________ 10. ___________________________________

Now make a combined list (again in order of priority). You will have to compromise. Sign the bottom to indicate you both agree on the joint plan.

1. ___________________________________ 2. ___________________________________

3. ___________________________________ 4. ___________________________________

5. ___________________________________ 6. ___________________________________

7. ___________________________________ 8. ___________________________________

9. ___________________________________ 10.___________________________________

Partner A Signature __________________________

Partner B Signature _____________________________

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Parenthood Being a parent is a 24-hour job and will have a huge effect on your other roles as spouse, worker, friend and companion. Have you decided to have children? If you answer was no go to question # 2. If your answer was YES answer the following questions: 1. a) How many children? __________ b) How far apart? __________ c) How old should you be when the first child is born? __________ d) How many years after marriage? __________ e) Suggest names you both like for the number you wish to have: _______________________________________ _______________________________________ _______________________________________ _______________________________________ _______________________________________ Parenting Decisions: Place your initials beside the parenting obligations you would be willing to fulfil:

Parenting classes: Getting up in the night:

Reading parenting books: Chauffeur to school:

Feeding the infant: Toilet training:

Bathing the infant: Playing:

Diapering: Reading to:

Comforting: Disciplining:

Dressing: Determining family rules:

Caring for a sick infant: Teaching right and wrong:

Bedtime: Teaching religion: 2. Explain why it is important to you to have children or not to have children. _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________

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Cost of Parenthood

The cost of raising a child to the age of 18 is approximately $130,000. Write a short paragraph to explain your hopes and dreams for your children that will involve high costs. __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ To what medical/financial extent will you go to have your own bilogical children? _______________________________________________ _______________________________________________ _______________________________________________ _______________________________________________ _______________________________________________ How will your life be different if you DO NOT/ARE NOT ABLE TO have children?

__________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________

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Planning for Parenthood

Write short descriptions about your plans for the following aspects of parenting:

Describe what the baby’s room will look like.

Theme/plans for decorating a baby’s room.

__________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ Who will stay home with the newborn? Maternity leave? Paternity leave? For how long? Full-time or part-time? Who will babysit if both parents return to work? Other aspects? __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________

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Resolving Conflict: Project into the future. You have been married for several years. Perhaps you have had a family. Answer the following questions: How do you act when you are angry with your partner? Should you change this behaviour? Partner A: _____________________________________________ _____________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ Partner B: _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ How is your relationship with your partner’s parents? Partner A ____________________________________________________________________________

Partner B ____________________________________________________________________________ If your relationship with your partner is not as “good as it used to be”, what would you suggest as a solution? _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ In a crisis situation, who is the stronger partner?

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Conclusions 1. How did you feel about this project? Like/Dislike? Why? __________________________________________ __________________________________________ __________________________________________ __________________________________________ __________________________________________ 2. What did you learn about your partner? Partner A _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ Partner B _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ 3. Do you think you have a realistic view of marriage? ____________ More than when you started this project? ____________ Why or why not? ________________________________________________________________________________

4. What did the project make you think about, in terms of your relationship, that you haven’t thought about or discussed before?

5. How might completing this project affect your thoughts or choices in the future?

MOCK MARRIAGE PROJECT RUBRIC

Mock marriage certificate

All items answered by both partners; paragraphs well written.

5 marks

Some items omitted; paragraphs brief or done by only one.

3 marks

Items omitted; no written comments

1 mark

0 marks

Are you right for each other?

Sincere comments by both partners. Evidence of discussion.

5 marks

Some items omitted; paragraphs brief or done by only one.

3 marks

Items omitted; no written comments.

1 mark

0 marks

What do you want in a partner?

Reflections show effort and honesty.

4 marks

Brief reflections or reflections that show little thought.

2 marks

No reflections.

1 mark

0 marks

Occupations

Answered fully by both partners.

3 marks

Brief, hurried.

2 marks

Missing sections.

1 mark

0 marks

Age for marriage

Equal input; answered well.

3 marks

Explanation brief.

2 marks

Sections not complete.

1 mark

0 marks

Marriage agreement

All questions answered in full. 4 marks

Brief but complete.

2 marks

Incomplete.

1 mark

0 marks

The wedding plans

Evidence of discussion and thought; detailed write-up; all listed details included.

30 marks

Details missing; most details included.

25 marks

Brief attempt; few details.

15 marks

0 marks

Moving out Completed inventory.

3 marks

Sections incomplete.

2 marks

Hurriedly done.

1 mark

0 marks

Behaviour in my marriage partner

Frank comments; well- expressed views.

3 marks

Very brief reflections.

2 marks

No comments.

1 mark

0 marks

Attitudes toward differences

Shows honesty and serious thought.

4 marks

Answers brief.

2 marks

No reflections.

1 mark

0 marks

Patterns in early marriage

Sincere, detailed comments. 4 marks

Brief comments. 2 marks

Items circled; no comments. 1 mark

0 marks

Nature of marriage

Thoughtful answers; comments complete.

3 marks

Comments brief.

2 marks

No comments.

1 mark

0 marks

Companions in marriage Thoughtful comments.

4 marks

Comments brief.

2 marks

No comments.

1 mark

0 marks

Religion

Items checked and valid comments.

3 marks

Items checked.

1 mark

0 marks

Finances—your budget

Realistic; shows research; accurate values; complete.

10 marks

Rough estimates without research.

5 marks

Sections incomplete.

2 marks

0 marks

Parenthood

Thoughtful answers and comments.

4 marks

Complete but brief.

3 marks

Sections not complete.

1 mark

0 marks

Resolving conflict

Answered fully; evidence of discussion.

4 marks

Complete but brief.

3 marks

Sections incomplete.

1 mark

0 marks

Conclusions

Evidence of reflective thought.

4 marks

Complete but brief.

3 marks

Items not answered.

1 mark

0 marks

Total Score: / 100 marks