new york summer restaurant guide

8/14/2019 New York Summer Restaurant Guide

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New York CitySummer 2007

BlogSoopa summer dining guide featuring new york city bloggers
http://www.blogsoop.com/http://www.blogsoop.com/http://www.blogsoop.com/http://www.blogsoop.com/http://www.blogsoop.com/http://www.blogsoop.com/


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New York City Restaurants Reviewed by Food Bloggers

Queens

Brooklyn

Grom GelatoSalli Vatesp. 11

Landmarc (TWC)The Wandering Eaterp. 9

Hill CountryGastroChicp. 10

Via EmiliaNYC Noshp. 6

T

S

The Hungry

Cabbie takes the

ride of his life

p. 4

Soop du Jourplus...

contents

Restaurant Reviews by Food Bloggers - www.blogsoop.com 3

Momofuku Ssam BarThe Girl Who Ate Everything

p. 12

Shake ShackOff The Broilerp. 8


3/12

A little more than one year ago, I took a fare thatseems to have damaged my diet irreparably. I didnttake him far, and he was certainly not the type ofperson I would normally want to emulate. But since

he rode in my cab, I cant quite shake his influence.

I picked him up on 8th Street and 5th Avenue inthe middle of day. He told me he was heading tothe Cherry Street Projects deep into the LowerEast Side. He spoke very quickly, and before wecovered a long block, I knew half his life story.Hed just returned fromL.A. where hed spent thebulk of the last decademaking it big, althoughhe retained his thick New

York accent. He was go-ing back home to visit withhis family who hed barelyseen since hed left. Rock-ing the leather jacket, thetall black boots, and longAndre-from-Real-World-One hair, I figured he wassome kind of Sunset Stripthrasher. And he con-firmed my suspicions bytelling me the name of his

band by the next block.

I couldnt tell if he was oncoke or he just had thesort of personality thatmakes a guy seem like hes on coke all the time.He acted as though he was genuinely excited totell me everything that was going on in his life. AndI was listening intently until he stopped mid-sen-tence to shout at the top of his lounges, STOP!!!STOP THE CAR!!! STOP STOP STOP STOP.

I slammed on the breaks, thinking something wasterribly wrong either inside or just outside of thecab. Even after we came to a halt, I could hear himsaying, stop stop stop stop stop under his breath,and I saw him staring hard at someone on the side-walk. WHAT!?!? I asked him. Oh. . . Oh, nevermind dude, never mind. I just thought that chick rightthere was the hooker I was with last night. I want-ed to stop and say hi.. . . But it isnt. . . Lets roll.

Alllllllll right, I responded as I turned my head backtoward the road in front of us. Now I was pretty sure

he was on coke. I promise I wont do that again, hetold me. He did do something similar ten minutes

later, but I ignored him. He didnt seem to mind.

As we headed down Bowery just a few blocks fromhis parents project, he pleaded with me to change

course and take a right onto Kenmare. Why? I de-manded, thinking he was having another episodewith a vaguely familiar figure on the street. No, nodude. I need a drink, he said firmly. Why not stopat a deli on Bowery or Cherry Street, rather thango out of the way? I asked. Because this delisells Yoohoo in cans, he responded, as though

that was reason enough.

He assured me hedmake it worth my while,so I took the right and

waited outside while heran in. Sure enough,out he came with an icecold six pack of Yoohoodangling from his fin-ger. While he knockedback what appeared tobe an entire can in onegulp, I simply said, Yoo-hoo, huh, as I eyed himin the rear view mirror.

Thats all it took for himto go OFF about Yoo-hoo. He sounded like aspokesman for the com-

pany, though he assured me that he wasnt. Its sofrosty and delicious. Its so cold and refreshing. Andyou gotta get the can. YOU GOTTA. Dont messwith the bottles or the cartons. Cans keep Yoohoothe coldest. And Yoohoo is best when its at itscoldest. Whens the last time you had a Yoohoo?he asked, as he cracked open his second can.

Itd been a while. I must have been a kid. Longtime, I said. Before I knew it, hed pushed anicy can through the window in the divider andlet it drop to the seat below. Taste it again forthe first time, he said, eyes wide with authen-tic excitement. The moment I stopped at thelight and picked up the can, he dropped an-other one down to the seat. Youre gonna loveit so much youll want two, he assured me.

I cracked it open and put it too my lips. NOOOOO,he screamed, as though he was Stephen Colbertand I was Helen Thomas. I didnt say a word. I just

You gottashake it dude.

SHAKE IT.It says right

there on the can.

SHAKE IT!

The Hungry Cabbiefamoustfatdave.com/blog

4 Blog Soop 2007

Soopdu

Jour
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4/12

ATTENTION!LOS ANGELENOS

Friends, we have something very important to talkabout today

And it involves bundt cakes.

I recently learned about Share Our Strengths GreatAmerican Bake Sale. Share Our Strength is a non-profit organization devoted to fighting childhood hun-

ger. Theyre a powerful force who have had a broadimpact, investing in over a thousand hunger-relatedorganizations, and involving themselves heavily in theemergency food assistance network in the US. Theytake a local, grass roots approach, working with localorganizations and businesses throughout the countryin the following arenas:

- increasing access to the public and private pro-grams that can provide food to those who need it,- strengthening the community infrastructure for get-ting healthy food to children, and- teaching families how to get the most nutrition out of

a limited budget.

So, it stands to reason that one of their most success-ful campaigns brings fundraising back to the commu-nity. With the Great American Bake Sale, people allover the country hold bake sales in their own neigh-borhoods, and the proceeds go toward after schooland summer meals programs, as well as nutritioneducation programs for low income children.

AUGUST 18thScoops Ice Cream Shop in East Hollywood

Tannaz Sassonihttp://tannazie.blogspot.com

lowered the can from my lips slowly and stared athim in the mirror. You gotta shake dude. SHAKEIT. It says right there on the can. SHAKE IIIIT. Givethat can back to me, because you cant shake itright now that its open. Shake your other one up.

I did his bidding. I shook it up hard, popped thetop, and watched the milky beverage foam uparound the lip. Some distant childhood memo-ries trickled back, but nothing too nostalgic. Iknew Id had Yoohoo before. Then I tasted it.

AMAZING. PHENOMENAL. It was everything Ilove about milk, sugar, and cold beverages com-bined. It seemed to quench my thirst, though I knowdairy products dont do that. However, Yoohoo isso chemically its barely a dairy product anymore.It really did hit the spot. As far as I was concerned,that Yoohoo was the perfect drink at that moment.Ive gone on Gatorade kicks, Ive built a 365 cancokamid out of coke cans I binged on, and Ivesucked on ice cubes all my life. But when that Yoo-hoo passed my lips, it was the perfect beverage.

Am I right or am I right? my fare asked as hegathered his things to get out of the cab. Youreright, I said, looking at my empty can. He gaveme a sizeable tip, more than necessary. But whatI loved most about this guy was that before he left,

he pushed one last can of Yoohoo through the di-vider. Now, hed given me half of his six pack. Hereally wanted me to have TWO cans of Yoohoo.

I downed that one too, but I assumed I wouldntreally get into the habit of drinking Yoohoo. Still,I wasnt surprised when, a couple days later, Isaw a can of Yoohoo at the deli and couldnt re-sist buying it. I wondered if that guy really wasa spokesman for Yoohoo, because hed done agood job selling me. But I m pretty sure he justwanted me to enjoy a delicious chocolate milkbeverage because he felt like sharing his ob-session. He clearly had an addictive personal-ity as evidenced by the hookers and the coke.

What surprised me is that I am now fully hookedon Yoohoo. A year has gone by, and I haventkicked it yet. There may be something addictive inthe formula, but I think I cant stop drinking themsimply because they taste really, really good. Iknow theyre terrible for me. I can feel it about 10minutes after I finish each can. But tonight I got

it in my head to drink a can of Yoohoo. Before iteven crossed my mind not to, I was driving out ofmy way to go to the deli that sells cans of Yoohoo.

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6 BlogSoop 2007

RestaurantReviews

Late last year, the popular Northern Italian restaurant

Via Emilia was forced to leave its long-time Park Av-

enue South location because its building was in was

slated for demolition. The reason? Another condo de-velopment. Say what you want about the manic paceof apartment construction in the city these days butthis was a real loss, a loss felt around the chowhound-ing world. Fortunately for the hungry among us, ViaEmilia has found a way to rise from the rubble in style,moving into new digs about two blocks away on East21st Street. Last week, Nosher, Chilena and I wentto have a look at their modern new space and tosee if the food remained as good as it always was.

Chilenas first reaction was, This doesnt look like anItalian restaurant! And she was right, the space issleek, a little dark, and more downtown than a Gra-mercy/Flatiron address might imply. The walls havebeen painted in Necco-wafer colored stripes, Scan-dinavian-inspired pendant lights line the ceiling overbanks of tables and, in the back, diner-style boothsround out the ample new dining room. Theres narya red-checkered tablecloth or chianti-bottle candle-

stick in sight. Of course, all of this makes sense;Via Emilia has long-specialized in Modenese cui-sine of the Emilia-Romagna region of Northern It-aly and, if youve visited there recently, youll recog-nize that modern restaurant design is nothing new.

Via Emilias menu staystrue to the regions fo-cus on fresh ingredientsand delicate flavors.Theres a focus on pas-tas like ravioli, tortelloniand tagliatelli, as well

as on hearty meats likeveal, pork and lamb.

Strangely absent however is any risotto dish, a stapleof Northern Italian cuisine. The wine list makes up forany deficits in the menu, with a few surprisingly un-der-$30 options. There are several Lambruscos, that

once-disfavoredsparkling redwine (whose

grape orginatesin the Emilia-Ro-magna region),and from thebottles we sawbeing pouredto other diners,we can confirmthat it appears

to be making a well-deserved comeback. Affordabilitydoesnt end at the wine list, however: appetizers areall $8 or less, and nothing on the menu is more than$16.50. Try finding food as good at these prices any-where nearby and youll be searching for a long time.

We started our meal with two appetizers: a side dishof asparagus alla parmesana, and an order of the res-taurants legendary gnocco fritto ($8). The latter dishwas a delight and more than lived up to its reputationas one of Via Emilias biggest winners: four puffy pil-lows of fried dough accompanied a selection of curedmeats Prosciutto di Parma, mortadella, coppa andsorpressata dolce. The dough is tender and light, lack-ing the oily or heavy quality you might expect, and itpulls apart easily,

all the better touse to pick up aslice of the meat.An all-prosciuttoplate can be or-dered for fourdollars more, butwe were happywith the vari-ety platter. Theasparagus ($8) was a much simpler dish, butprepared with as much care: six perfect greenstems, sauted with a little butter and dusted with

shavings of ultra-nutty Parmigiano-Reggiano.

My main dish of spinach ravioli ($13) had an intensespinach flavor that came as much from the green pas-ta as the spinach and ricotta filling. Each raviolo was

bathed in a light tomato saucethat kept its gustatory distance

just enough to let the freshly-rolled pasta shine. Given thelabor involved in making ravioli(as Via Emilia does in houseeach day), this dish follows the

natural law of ravioli eachplate comes with about 25 per-cent fewer ravioli than you could

tj

l

i

t

t

Via Emilia47 East 21st Street @ Park Avenue

(212) 505-3072
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6/12


hope for. Still, this pasta is worth the price of admission.

Noshers grilled bluefish ($16.50) offered a take onthis humble, strong-tasting fish that elevated it tonew heights. Resting on a colorful bed of root veg-etables, his portion comprised at least 5 ouncesof seafood. Nosher couldnt stop talking abouthow surprisingly delicate it was, and even the win-tery accompaniment of roasted root vegetables

somehow seemed to fit, even in mid-August.

Chilena ordered the spaghetti neri con calamari($13.50), a heaving mass of black squid ink pasta,mixed with loops of tender squid, chopped tomatoes,and generous shreds of torn basil leaves Like theravioli, the black pasta is made in-house (the only spa-

ghetti that is), and is cooked just al dente, matching thetexture of the calamari, and playing well off the cooler,firmer tomatoes. The pasta was also inky-tasting to justthe right point not enough to make your sinuses pul-

sate, but enough so that you know what youre eating.

While none of us was in the mood for it, we know thatthe restaurants homemade lasagna is apparently aminor celebrity, as are the pumpkin tortelloni, a dishthat will doubtless become much more popular whenfall arrives in a few weeks time. Theres so much torecommend Via Emilia in fact, that its a shame thatthe service toward the end of our meal was so rushed.Ours was a late dinner we asked for a table aroundten oclock. Still, that should be no excuse for our wait-er to tell us that, if we wanted dessert or coffee, we

needed to order up long before we werefinished withour mains. Nor is a late arrival reason for the staff to

begin carting bags of garbage past everyones table.If a kitchen wants to close down early, it should let thefront of the house know in advance, so every dinercan linger over his meal. Minor service issues aside,Via Emilia was otherwise agreat experience, and anabsoultely excellent valuefor such glorious food. All inall, wed say that Via Emiliaseems to be taking wellto its new location; locals

and everyone else in NewYork City should be happyit has found a new home.

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7/12

8 BlogSoop 2007

RestaurantReviews

One of the very best fast food establishmentsin the entire city, if not the best, bar none.

For Manhattan residents, the Shake Shackrepresents an obsession, where at duringprime lunch hours, you can expect to wait inline for close to an hour just to have one ofits highly coveted hamburgers. Why the cra-ziness? Well, just like any other of the UnionSquare Hospitality Groups establishments, itsgot the seal of goodness from Danny Meyerhimself, and they use nothing but the very bestingredients and pay extreme attention to de-tail to even the little things that make a differ-ence in the quality and presentation of the end

product. With something as simple as ham-burgers and shakes, that means everything.

Shake ShackMadison Square Park @ Madison Ave & 23rd St.

(212) 889-6600

Off The Broileroffthebroiler.wordpress.com

The Concrete of the day (Banana Brittle), made from

Shake Shacks custard.

The Shake Shack line at around 10PM on a Friday

night.

The Shack Stack, Bisected.

The Shack Stack. A Triple Patty with cheese, lettuce,

tomato, Shack Sauce, with fried portobello and onions.

The Shake Shack Menu.
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8/12


As you can see from the innards shot, they packedin a ton of ham, enrobed with the melted cheese, allsitting on top of a thick slice of grilled, slightly charredcountry bread. It was pretty tasty. The ham was still

moist, the cheese is melted to a certain stage whereit is still gooey and stringy and the crusty bread was anice contrast to all of the soft, chewiness of the sand-wich. This is certainly a hearty sandwich that really filla hungry person up. In terms of a petite woman, itll fillher (or me) up for a good half day.

As for my burger, I havent expected a large portion.

The burger itself, is probably 3 ounces of meat, me-dium rare (as requested) and very juicy. As Adam, theman behind A Hamburger Today, indicated from myphoto from Flickr, that its coarse ground. It was a good

burger but it didnt tasted as good as Shake Shacks.

The bun seemed like a brioche (I forgot to ask) andit had a minute sprinkling of salt on top of the bun. Itheld the meat well, absorbing all of its juiciness butthe meat was still oozing out juices from the bun.

They had toppings on the side like thinly sliced, sweetpickles, a slice of raw red onion, and a slice of freshtomato. When I piled it on the burger, lets just saythat theres too much stuff that every time I bite intomy burger, itll start falling out from the other end.

The fries were pretty good, its salted enough, sprin-kled with some herbs, and a bit crisp. Not the greatestfries but they were fine. The side salad was the run-of-the-mill salad they serve here, some field greensof mesclun and frise tossed with some vinaigrette.

As time passes from my maiden visit to Landmarc, theirservice has improved and the food is still good. Land-marcs reputation for their original TriBeca establishmentis basically a good wine list, moderately priced food thatis good but not extraordinary. I believe Chef Murphyaccomplished that same reputation in Time Warner.

The Wandering Eaterthewanderingeater.wordpress.com

Im becoming a familiar face for Landmarc. I dontknow if thats a good or bad thing that I actually spendmy time at Time Warner Center so often.

Yesterdaymorning at9:30, I atebreakfastor brunch,as I wouldconsider it,with Robynand a fellowreader, Kay.We were

about to be seated to a table where most of the lightsare dim, I requested for a table near the windows justfor the sake of good lighting for the food. So, the host-ess was kind enough to let us have a booth acrossthe room. Heres the view from our seats.

Its nice but not gorgeous. We took a look at both thebreakfast menu and the lunch menu, contemplating fora good five to ten minutes. I can tell we took a long timesince our waiter kept hovering around our table seem-ing to get impatient waiting for us to order something.But finally, we know what we wanted. Robyn ordered anegg sandwich with mozzarella and sauted onions on

an English muffin ($10), Kay wanted the Croque Mon-sieur ($13) and I ordered Landmarcs Hamburger ($13).

Robyn offered to share a piece of her sandwich andhash browns to everyone, which I accepted. Her Eng-lish muffin seemed to be a bit flimsy, that it cant holdthe filling together whenever I bite. Its also pretty messy

just because the eggs seemed to be scrambled a bitand the cheese and onions were mixed in to kind of holdeverything together. It tasted fine but not awesome.

Kays Croque Monsieur was HUGE. I really liked the

fact that they plopped about three ounces of cheeseand let it melt under their broiler to have that gooeyfactor in the croque.

Landmarc (TWC)10 Columbus Circle, Third Floor

(212) 823-6123
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9/12

10 BlogSoop 2007

RestaurantReviews

peppery rub on the pork ribs. And if you ever wonderwhether the current Berkshire pork obsession is justspin, contrast and compare the two meats and youlltaste the difference. Because of the shorter cook-ing time, Hill Countrys non-Berkshire pork ribs werestill pink inside and chewy, not falling off the bone.

The beer can game hen proved to be a worthwhileexperiment. Deep fried with an open beer can in-side, it tasted nicely herbal and moist, with crispyskin. It had flavors I didnt realize hen or cannedbeer could have. How they managed to wedge awhole can o beer in this lil critter Ill never know.

Unlike Fette Sau, Hill Country is not hostile to vegetar-

ians. There are a heap of sides, many of them meatfree. Sharp, slightly oily Longhorn cheddar deckedthe pasta in the excellent mac-n-cheese, and the cornpudding is perfectly salty-sweet. Black eyed pea sal-ad was ho-hum, and chipotle deviled eggs soundedmuch more exciting than they were, but theyre a niceapertif to the barbecue if you get hungry waiting in line.

Normally I wouldnt review a place this early on, butI had an opportunity to go and a camera, so pleaseconsider this an early report. Over the course ofthe evening, however, it became apparent that a

Fette Sau is a hard act to follow.

This became apparent as soon as we walked into Hill

Country. Where was the smell of barbecue? In Williams-burg, the scent of roasting meat bewitches you a blockaway, here there was barely a whiff of it, even whenthe counter staff opened the cantilevered storage unitsthat contain piles of brisket, beef ribs, and fatty pork.

Manhattan might mean island of many hills, butthis aint the boonies anymore. If Texas-inspired HillCountry exuded that barbecue scent, the neighborswould be hoppin mad. (Its tough not to lapse intoTexas talk as soon as you get here, what with thehonky tonk music on the stereo.) On the other hand,Hill Country is conveniently located just blocks away

from several subway lines, and this, as my fellow din-er the Cheese Guy pointed out, is its biggest advan-tage. The cavernous hall, lined on one side with pilesof firewood, chock full of wooden tables, and punctu-ated by BBQ and beer stations, easily fills with Man-hattan diners, many of them guys in ties. This doesnteven include the equally cavernous downstairs space,which has several long tables for large parties andlive music several nights a week. But dang if it ainthard to hear in Hill Country: the acoustics are terrible.

We queued up for cue, which is sold by the pound.In a Katzs-like system, you get a ticket at the out-set and get your own food. This is true to Texasstyle, so if you prefer table service, chances areyoud be better off in a fancy-pants New York place.

The biggest difference between Hill Country andFette Sau is the smoker, or lack of a huge, hard-working one like Fette Saus Southern Queen. HillCountrys brisket is juicier than Fette Saus, prob-ably because its been cooked for a shorter time.But as any barbecue aficionado can tell you, this

means it loses something in the flavor department.The rub on the outside is good, but it doesnt pen-etrate far into the beef. The same goes for nicely

Hill Country30 West 26th Street b/w 5th & 6th Avenues(212) 255-4544
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10/12


This is the line for gelato? was the recurring commentpeople threw in my direction. The line, which Id beenwaiting in for an hour and a half, stretched past BigNicks Burgers, Jubilee, Beard Papa and Lush, to endat Grom, which was celebrating its grand opening inNew York by offering free gelato. Yes, this is the line,I sighed wearily. Nuts, was the inevitable response.

People copedwith the wait indifferent ways.Some enjoyedthe passingspectacle ofstrollers anddogs. (Someonlookers, tak-

ing pity on us,even offeredtheir dogs forpetting so thatwed havesomething todo while wewaited.) I wasentertained bythe creativerantings of alunatic (MerryPassover! Mer-ry Passover!

shouted a beard-ed man. But was he any more insane than peoplewhod wait 2 hours for a cup of gelato?). I saw somepeople give up and walk away, and others cut in line.

Finally, after 2 hours of achy feet and various conversa-tions with strangers about Havanese dogs and Hillaryspresidential prospects, I reached the end of the line...to find that the extra-dark chocolate was... all gone.

I scratched my head. How could this be? Its not likethere werent other enticing selections; I saw regularchocolate, stracciatella, strawberries and cream, ha-zelnut, cappuccino, gianduja. There were also a few

flavors of sorbetto and Sicilian granita. But ever sinceI got addicted to Capogiros cioccolato scuro, I sim-ply must have the deepest, darkest chocolate gelato!

Well, I settled for the regular chocolate with a sideof fior di latte. The chocolate was really quite choco-latey, almost like semi-frozen fudge. I dare say it waschocolatey enough even for me. And the milky, silkyfior di latte was the most luscious sweet cold cream.

Salli Vatessalli_vates.blogspot.com

lot of thought has already gone into Hill Country.By thought, I mean focus group input. Like thelatest designer fragrance, nothing in the formula of-fends, but nothing sticks out at you, either. The faux-fluorescent lighting and kitschy props nailed to thewalls reminded me of TGI Fridays or Chilis, thoughthankfully none of the servers are wearing flare. HillCountry has only been open for a matter of weeks,but their in-house barbecue sauce is already for sale

at the gift counter by the door, though its a prettyaverage sauce. Setting up a gift counter before youhave a devoted following seems like creating yourown celebrity fan club before youre even famous.

Nevertheless, since this is the kind of free-rangeplace where no one kicks you out, we meandereddownstairs to listen to live blues. The luckiest mo-ment of the night came when one of the sous chefsliterally tossed Chef Mary and me a bourbon pecanpie at the bar. It was hands down the most deliciouspecan pie weve ever eaten (sorry, Mom), loaded withfresh nuts and laced with bourbon and molasses.

The bourbon pecan pie, the sugared bar nuts,the bands, the friendly counter staff, the spacefor huge parties, and the location are all good rea-sons to return to Hill Country - and the Kruez sau-sage is supposed to be a tasty Texas specialty aswell, though we didnt get a chance to try it. But ifI have a hankering for pork ribs again, Ill be dan-ged if Im not on the first train out to Williamsburg.

GastroChicgastrochic.blogspot.com

PwdStsstdo

inetpwsdwetrluPr

Manhattan might mean island of

many hills, but this aint the boonies

anymore. If Texas-inspired Hill Coun-

try exuded that barbecue scent, the

neighbors would be hoppin mad.

Grom Gelato2165 Broadway b/w 76 & 77th St.

(646) 290-7233

Photo Credit: Roboppy.net/food
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11/12

12 BlogSoop 2007

RestaurantReviews

EATING CHEESEFUN!) Each ten-der muscle fiberstayed attached toits neighbor untilpoked with chop-sticks, at which

point it wouldquickly declare itsindependence fromits meaty brothersand do whateveryou wanted it todo. Which wouldprobably involvebeing lightly mas-ticated (it requireslittle chewing)

and drowning in a pool of your stomach acids.

Aside from the meat, the bo ssam package comeswith eight raw oysters, as much (bibb?) lettuce as youcan eat, three dipping sauces (kimchi, pureed kimchiand ginger scallion), a dish of maldon sea salt andrice. The idea is that the combination of all the aboveingredients will result in the most deliciousness youwill ever experience involving lettuce. Not being cra-zy for oysters (but not disliking them either), I onlymade one lettuce wrap that combined the tastes ofsucculent fatty pork bits with briny, flubby mollusk.(When I say flubby I dont mean the slang term that

I didnt even know existed, but the word I made upbecause I couldnt think of right term to describe anoysters soft, slippery texture. So. You get flubby.)

I think most of us preferred it sans-mollusk. My fa-

I dont know how much meat I can eat.

I said those words not actually being unaware of

how much meat I could fit into my bellythe meatin question being the bo ssam at Momofuku SsamBarbut with the assumption that the amount Icould comfortably digest would be pathetically mea-ger. What ended up happening was that my stom-ach miraculously grew by about five times to acco-modate more tender pork butt than any human mysize should eat in one sitting. Of course, my stomachdidnt physically grow, so what happened? Did theessence of swine seep into my veins and do somemagical stomach-expanding juju on my belly? It cer-tainly infused my viscera, the results of which prob-

ably arent going to lengthen my life. Overall, I reallydont know what happened. It was mildly frightening.

CHUNK-O-BUTT, also known as the star of bo ssam,also known as the thing you have to gather at leasteight people for and warn Momofuku in advance thatyou want. This meat means business. We just staredat the black hole (or glistening, gold brown hole) fora while as a photographer from the New York Timessnapped some photos for their upcoming article,How eight youthful, somewhat healthy foodies near-ly died last Thursday night of stomach explosion.

Don initiated the tearing of the meat by ripping out achunk with one of the four pairs of tongs. The muscle ef-fortlessly came apart from the mother chunk. Our eyeswidened with a mixture of horror, delight and gluttonyat the sight of fat dripping from the jello-like pig flab justunderneath the top-most layer of skin. Oh dear lord.

Pulling apart the meat made me feel like I was eat-ing the pork version of Polly-O String Cheese, exceptthis was the real deal, not some bastardized, conve-

nience food version of something better. (By the way,I used to love string cheese when I was little. IT MADE

i

ii

l

Momofuku Ssam Bar207 2nd Avenue @ 13th Street

(212) 254-3500
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vorite combination was pork, rice and ginger scal-lion sauce rolled up in lettuce, although as the nightwore on I ended up just eating un-dipped pork witha chunk of short grained rice (thats the rice-hungryChinese in me, isnt it?) and sometimes just pork. Itswhat my heart longs for, apparently. Aside from loving

companionship. But for now, the pork will have to do.

We kept going. And going. Or was that just me? Iate a disturbing amount of the pork. When other

peoples chopsticks stopped moving, I was tear-ing into another meat chunk. Hey you guys, whydyou stop? Id question in between muffled mouth-fuls. Although I did get to the point where I couldntsit up straight because some of my organs had beenreplaced by pork, my bo ssam-eating stamina wasmuch stronger than I or anyone else couldve pre-dicted. The meat was just too easy to eat. Yes, tooeasy. Unadorned it didnt have an overpowering fla-

Like The Little Engine That Could, I told

myself that I could climb over the moun-

tain (of meat) if I just BELIEVED IN MY-

SELF and maybe took some mind alter-

ing substances (dont worry, Im clean!).

vor (only the skin was salted), but since it was just sogoddamn delicious and tender and full of pig-ness,you could (and would want to) keep eating and eat-ing without feeling uncomfortably nauseous (notthat there is a comfortable state of nausea...I think).The most flavorful bits were the ones at the bottomof the plate that had been soaking in their own fat-

ty meat juices. Meat spong + meat juice = [streamof drool drips from mouth Homer Simpson style]

Like The Little Engine That Could, I told myself that Icould climb over the mountain (of meat) if I just BE-LIEVED IN MYSELF and maybe took some mind alter-ing substances (dont worry, Im clean!). I got up mostof the mountain without regretting it. After we decidedthat we could eat no more (the remains are now safelytucked away in Dons and Geralds apartments, or intheir bellies) the severity of the meal hit whatever partof my brain it is that isnt a moron, causing me to hug mymeat-filled torso while thinking, Oh my god, get it out

of me GET IT OUT uguhg ughgh jesus what did I do?

Of course, after waiting a while and letting the ol di-gested matter settle, you miraculously have enoughroom for dessert. Then again, each of us only ate theequivalent of one piece of ice cream-filled mochi, whichis like adding a grain of sand to a beach. Out of all theflavorspistachio, guava, coconut-sweet potato andchocolate mintmy favorite was pistachio. Im afraid

Im not very into the ice cream + mochi combination.Not that its bad, just that I prefer mochi (filled withred bean paste) or ice cream/gelato on its own. ...In abucket. With whipped cream. I cant be the only one.

Im pretty sure that Thursday night wins the prize formost meat eaten in my lifetime, which isnt somethingI was exactly striving for. It just happened. I couldnt stopeating the meat, you know. My brain wouldnt let me.

The Girl Who Ate EverythingRoboppy.net/food
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