According to the La Crosse Tribune, Democrat Jill Billings defeated David Drews in the state's 95th Assembly District on Nov. 8.

Billings received 71 percent of the votes in all 19 precincts. Her campaign was focused on creating jobs, education, and fair taxes.

According to the La Crosse Tribune,Drew's campaign revolved around small government and the changes brought with Gov. Scott Walker.

This year has followed history. According to the La Crosse Tribune, Democrats have represented the 95th Assembly District since 1974.

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231 & 232 Cartwright Center1725 State StreetLa Crosse, WI 54601

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Please see PARKING, page 3

Volume 102, No. 36

T hu r s d ay, N ove m b e r 10, 2011 w w w.t h e racq u e t . n e t 8 Pa g e s S i n g l e Co p i e s Fr e e

Word of the WeekNyctophobia

Definition: An abnormal fear of night or darkness. The honeybadger stayed indoors during the winter due to his nyctophobia

By now, everyone is aware that some UW-La Crosse students, as well as people from other institutions and the community, caused disruptive behavior this Oktoberfest. This included throwing dead squirrels and flipping a car.

Dr. Nicklaus, Director of Residence Life at UW-L, and RHAC Senator Olivia Boerschinger spoke last week about a new regulation aimed at reducing the trouble associated with Oktoberfest weekend, especially for the on-campus community. This would likely go into effect next fall, though some details still need to be worked out.

The new regulation would not allow any overnight guests in the dorms over the first weekend of Oktoberfest, typically the last weekend in September. “I think [the rule] will provide a safe and secure environment for all our students,” said Nicklaus. The idea behind this rule is that it will reduce underage drinking, policy violations, vandalism and messes in the residence halls.

Some say the regulation would be difficult to enforce. “Unless you give RAs permission to go into people’s rooms and check, the policy is impractical,” said Sophomore dorm resident Alex Nelson. But some students are in favor of it. “It’s a good idea. It would prevent too many people being in one room or on the campus.” said Betsy Collins, a resident of Drake Hall.

Dr. Nicklaus, RHAC and other bodies involved with this regulation are looking into enforcement procedures. According to Nicklaus, these would include putting extra RAs on duty during the entire weekend with patrols both inside and outside the buildings, requiring an ID to enter the buildings, and more hall programming as an alternative to drinking. Guests would be asked to leave if it was late or they were being disruptive, and students might have to show their student IDs to RAs on duty.

But these procedures are still decided on. “They’re looking at how best to enforce it well, so nothing is finalized yet,” said Boerschinger.

Nicklaus said that UW-L used to have such a rule in the 1990s, then as Oktoberfest disruptions became less of a problem, they backed off. However, the past one or two years have seen an increase in problems for the campus and community, so he thinks rules are needed again. UW-Madison enforces a similar rule for its Halloween weekend festivities.

“I look at this as a way to protect students, not a punishment,” said Nicklaus. But recent student misbehavior was a major factor in making the regulation, and such negative behavior has to be curtailed”, he said.

The need for a rule in the first place, speaks to a “culture that promotes alcohol consumption” at UW-L said Nicklaus, which can have many harmful effects. This also extends to other UW schools, but the rule is a way to take responsibility over the culture.

Orderly Oktoberfest?By Gretchen Zishka

Senior Reporter

Last week, six health proposals aimed at health clinics, such as Planned Parenthood and Options Clinic in La Crosse, were given the green light, all within a two day period.

Through these advancements, the public’s access to services such as birth control, contraceptives and cancer assessments could be reduced, widespread sex education curriculums may diminish procedures like abortion and fertility treatment could perhaps be restricted or outlawed. These aggressive plans entered Wisconsin’s governmental agenda through the GOP leadership. These proposals appear to be made in order to

minimize the state’s financial troubles by means of cutting out what may be seen by some as unnecessary or non-vital services. Considering that organizations like Planned Parenthood rely on the administration of these services to promote society’s overall health and to assist people who may be in dire sexual or physical situations, its staff is deeply disturbed at the thought of these proposals becoming a reality.

“By looking at the long list of anti-women’s health bills that advanced in the Wisconsin Legislature this week, you’d think that we were in the midst of a sex education, birth control and abortion catastrophe, instead of a jobs crisis,” says Tanya Atkinson, Executive Director for Planned Parenthood Advocates of Wisconsin. “It is astonishing that during a time of economic distress,

anyone, much less our elected public servants, would spend time advancing policies that will reduce individual’s access to essential information and affordable health care services.”

While it is true that these modifications to the health system

By Krista MartinStaff Reporter

Looking for options in women’s health care

“There are threats to drop 53,000 low-income Wisconsin citizens from Badgercare programs.”

Erin BehlenOptions Clinic Manager

It is that time of year again, when the leaves start falling, snow’s on the way in, and parking becomes overly complicated.

Alternate side parking begins every Nov. 1 and many find this recurring ordinance confusing.

To ease the complication, residents should remember that at night vehicles must be parked on even-numbered sides of the street on even numbered calendar dates and on odd-numbered dates. This rule is in effect between the hours of 1:00 a.m. and 6:00 a.m.

According to the City of La Crosse web site, parking is normally permitted only on one side of the street, and vehicles may be parked on that permitted side every night.

UW-La Crosse students living on and around campus may be free from this ordinance.

A program that began two years ago allows students to continue to park on both sides of the street overnight during the designated

time periods, except when the city has declared a snow emergency. It was designed because students have limited parking and are receiving numerous violations for not moving their vehicle. Students can visit Parking and Transportation Services on campus if they have any questions or concerns on alternate side parking for specific streets.

Lindsey Harreld, a resident of La Crosse lives off campus without off street parking.“It [alternate side parking] is an inconvenience, because you have to

Alternate side parking shifts into gearBy Hannah Kepros

Staff Reporter

A police officer chalks tires on 15th Street just after noon, which is typically the busiest time for student parking near campus. Proposed changes to alternate side parking rules will mean drivers in certain parts of the campus area will observe the rules only when the City declares a snow emergency.

Kelli Ponce The Racquet

It was designed because students have limited parking and are often receiving numerous violations for not moving their vehicle.

Billings

Please see HEALTH, page 3

FROM THE EDITORS: TAKE CARE OF YOUR BUDDY. . . PAGE 3 UW-L SENDS FIVE ATHLETIC TEAMS TO WIAC . . . PAGE 7

BREAKING MORE THAN JUST BREAD . . . PAGE 3

Be sure to pick up our Thanksgiving Edition...

N e x t w e e k

RacqueTThe University of Wisconsin - La Crosse

Election Results: 95th District

By Racquet Staff

Billings defeats Drews with 71 percent of votes

NewsPage 2 Thursday, november 10, 2011

K.C. Powers Managing Editor

kpowers@theracquet.net

Billings, Drewes debate

By Julie SchneiderCity Editor

The structured environment of the military is completely opposite of the freedom in college.

BillingsDrewes

The 95th Assembly District debate held on Monday, October 31 hosted some tricks and treats with serious discussions and added Halloween humor. The debate process started with opening statements from both parties, then a question and answer session mediated by UW-La Crosse political science professor Joe Heim where the questions were asked by the audience, and closing statements wrapped up the evening. A broad spectrum of topics were discussed including the UW-System’s budget and tuition costs, brain drain among college students, job creation, labor unions, state funding priorities, the new voter ID law, party labeling and the potential recall of Governor Walker.

Jill Billings, the Democratic candidate, expressed in her opening statement that she truly wants to be the voice of the 95th district and cleared up any rumors that were spread about her not graduating from college. She held up her diploma from Augsburg College as well as her high school diploma. Billings moved backed to La Crosse about 21 years ago because like many others, she fell in love with the beauty of La Crosse. She is currently the Vice-Chair of the La Crosse County Board.

David Drewes, the Republican candidate, shared in his opening statement that he feels government is a need, but it should only do what is needed. He favors reduced government because it is better for industry, and industry creates jobs. Drewes expressed that private industry unions are needed, but at the public sector, unions are not appropriate. He believes in smaller government and does not want taxes to increase.

The topic of tuition flexibility and tuition caps was brought up by an audience member, as well as Chancellor Joe Gow, who welcomed everyone at the beginning of the debate and gave his thoughts. He stated that he feels we [UW-L] should determine the tuition, not politicians. Billings said that finding other sources of revenue and simplifying the tax system would be a better solution. One audience member asked how a more efficient tax-collection system could be implimented. Drewes said that he didn’t feel he had the knowledge to appropriately answer that question.

A popular trend among college students is the idea of a brain drain, which consists of students leaving La Crosse and Wisconsin to pursue their career.

Billings finds this to be a concern. She thinks that students are attracted to bigger cities due to the atmosphere. She feels that we need to feed that into Wisconsin. She thinks that creating jobs here in Wisconsin should be the priority, and Milwaukee needs to become the hub for healthy, consistent jobs. Billings said that a healthy job environment is the key. Drewes thinks that keeping all students within the state needs to be the priority. He said encouraging good businesses to hire new graduates, and making it profitable, is what needs to happen. Drewes said that reducing taxes will bring jobs, and that creating a positive attitude towards businesses is key.

The issue regarding labor unions as a major part of the state’s education budget problems was referenced by the audience. Billings said that unions are not an evil enemy and that we have got to get over this. She thinks teachers are being trashed and we need to bring back solid education to the state of

Wisconsin. Drewes said that there needs to be a cultural change of family responsibility, and that sustaining what we currently have is not possible. He questions how we can sustain a support staff person earning $100,000 and it being called vilification.

The three highest priorities of state funding were expressed by both candidates.

Billings’ highest priorities are the education system, the health and human services system, and the safety and security of our court system.

Drewes’ highest priorities are caring for the needy people of Wisconsin, the cost of healthcare and tort reform being the largest priority.

An audience member asked if the candidates think any revisions or changes need to be made to the new implication of the Voter ID law. Billings said that this law creates major problems and it is a solution to a problem that doesn’t exist. She thinks it is a terrible way to disenfranchise elders and students and that it is “crummy.” Drewes said that it is not really that much of a problem and that it needed to be done.

The symbolism of what the party label means to each candidate was an interest to the audience and Billings said that she is not a ‘lock-step for party’ type of person. She expressed how she doesn’t always march with her party’s ideals. She wants to work smarter, do her research and network. Trying to talk to everyone and make good decisions is the major goal for Billings.

Drewes said that he believes he is fiscally conservative and that we need good government. He thinks the Republican Party is the guardian of the state and they don’t believe in raising taxes.

The questioning of supporting or opposing the recall of Governor Scott Walker was one of the final questions of the evening. Billings said it is up to the people of Wisconsin to make that decision. Her focus and where she is putting her time and effort is on the 95th Assembly race and doing the best that she can. Though, if a petition would be presented to her, she would sign it.

Drewes said he wouldn’t sign it. He thinks there have been wonderful things that have happened since Walker has been in office. The debt is gone and that was accomplished at no cost. He thinks the state will be available to attract industry. Drewes feels we need to look at the positives and can’t always focus on the negative.

Billings’ closing statement expressed how she won’t forget the needs of the citizens and will try to be the best legislator she can be. She said she is committed to the people of this district and will not lose touch with them. She will try to keep balance in check and be smarter.

In Drewes’ closing statement, he stated how he will bring a sense of responsibility to Madison. When the vote goes against him, he will not run over to Minnesota. He said that a fiscally responsible and balanced budget is a priority; there is plenty of money to go around if used efficiently.

The adjustment to college life is a difficult transition for many students. The choices, the freedom, the responsibility, can all be daunting for any student. The difficulty adapting to a collegiate lifestyle increases exponentially for students just getting out of the military.

The structured environment of the military is completely opposite of the freedom in a college. “You know what happens every day of the week. You don’t have to make choices, and may not have the skills to do so,” said Carol Oyster, advisor of the Student Veterans Association at UW-La Crosse.

Veterans are not without assistance in their transition. “Depending on the type and length of service, veterans receive different levels of tuition assistance and/or stipends,” said Kathy Hollon, who serves as UW-L’s Veteran’s Benefits Coordinator. She is responsible for assisting student veterans in filling out their paperwork to receive their benefits. “I feel like we do a good job getting these students what they’re supposed to,” said Hollon.

While the Veteran’s Benefits Coordinator is able to handle the paperwork aspect, and the Veterans Association is available to assist the transition to college life and mentor incoming veteran students. However, UW-L still lacks a formal veteran liaison for the 200 veterans on campus. “The challenges (of being a veteran and a student) have been unrecognized until recently,” says Mark Braatz, Viterbo’s Student Veterans

Service Point of Contact. Braatz himself served in the army for 27 years,

and has first hand experience in adjusting from the military to university life. He is currently majoring in business education at Viterbo. “I understand veterans and their needs,” says Braatz, “I can help them get the services they need.” While he serves in a similar capacity as the Veteran’s Benefits Coordinator, Braatz also serves in a capacity similar to that of a counselor.

“It’s a growing group, and we all owe them a huge debt,” said Braatz. As for his reasons in taking the job? “There was no one else on campus doing it,” said Braatz.

UW-L may be in the market to fill a similar position in the near future. According to both Oyster and the Office of Records and Registration, there have been talks to hire someone to serve as some type of veteran’s liaison. However, it is unknown what the position would officially entail. “We’ve been trying to define the new position,” said Oyster, citing the primary reason it has not been officially sanctioned as of yet.

By Nick KammersCampus Editor

University offers aid to Veterans

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move your car in the middle of the cold. It is just one more thing you have to think about that you would rather not,” said Harreld.

UW-L continues to advise students to avoid bringing cars to campus to evade any parking violations.

On the occasions where the city will make changes to the schedule of alternate side parking, residents will be warned at least seven hours in advance. Residents may also request to be notified through email or twitter

by signing up on the City of La Crosse web site.

Citizens that violate this ordinance will receive a fine of $10 that must be paid within ten days to the city of La Crosse, which will increase if not paid within the time frame.

This law may be inconvenient but it is conducted each year to allow street sweepers and snowplows to completely clear areas on streets without car obstruction.

Alternate side parking is only a seasonal action, and will continue to apply until April 1 of next year.

Thursday, November 10, 2011 News Page 3

We’re talking about a very different space than Whitney Center,” said Lutheran Campus Ministry Pastor Paul Peterson last week. This space is the new campus ministry building that is currently being worked on at UW-La Crosse.

“I’m excited we’re building at our new location because there. [We] will outshine anything we could have done in our own comfortable settings,” said Crossroads Pastor Laura Hoglund. The expected time of completion is early spring semester. The campus’s zeal for new construction, it seems, has spread.

It is an $850,000 project taking place on the corner of 14th and Vine Street, directly across from Hutchinson Hall and is near a great deal of off-campus housing. The ministries serving UW-L, Lutheran campus ministry and Crossroads campus ministry represent several Protestant denominations and are collaborating on this project. Donors, said Petersen, came mostly from individuals, particularly in the La Crosse community.

The land where the new building will be was traded, was owned by landlord Brian Benson. They traded two separate properties each group formerly owned on the corner of 17th and State Streets. “They wanted to have more foot traffic for their organization, and I thought their properties would be good rental prospects. It was advantageous for both of us,” said Benson.

A key feature of this new building, along with student apartments, a large multipurpose room, and a patio, will be a locally-owned, fair-trade coffee shop. No matter what religion.

“This is not a place where people will be preached at,” said Petersen. “All are welcome, whether they consider themselves religious

or not, and regardless of their background, sexual orientation, or economic status. If even one person feels that’s not the case, then we’ve failed.” The new building will also be entirely handicap-accessible, to help meet the organizations’ common goal of inclusion.

In addition to the coffeehouse, live entertainment is also planned at the new location on Friday and Saturday nights. Any student organization, from an official one to a study group, will also be welcome to use the multipurpose room or meet in the coffee house.

Both organizations also discussed reasons for combining and sharing the new space and moving from their former locations on 17th and State streets. Hoglund said that, ever since Crossroads began its operation in 1964, they have been friends with the Lutheran campus ministry, and Peterson also said that the denominations involved have very similar goals and often even share their clergy. Given this longstanding friendship and commonalities, a shared new building made economic and organizational sense.

It was also important to be able to reach out to students, both said. So if you’re walking to class and see a pile of rubble where an ugly brown house once stood, in a few months’ time you might be stopping there to have coffee.

Breaking bread and breaking groundBy Gretchen Zishka

Senior Reporter

“All are welcome, whether they consider themselves religious or not.”

Paul PetersonCampus Ministry Pastor

TuesdayEvery www.DublinSquarePub.com

Every

WednesdayEvery

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Construction starts for the Campus Ministry on the corner of 14th and Pine Street. It will cost $850,000 and will be completed spring 2012. Campus Ministry traded it with landlord Brian Benson for property near 17th and State Street. Demolition for the building has already begun.

Michael Westberry The Racquet

From PARKING, page 1

Seasonal parking rules beginwould negatively affect the consumers if carried out, it will also impact the people who bring these services to the people of Wisconsin.

“With budget cuts comes the potential of having to limit contraceptive choices, clinic hours, and staff,” says Erin Behlen, Administrative Services Manager at Options Clinic in La Crosse. “We are working hard to find ways to fill these revenue gaps. It is our goal to not only continue providing services, but to expand our services because the need

is expanding. We hope to thrive in spite of all these cuts.”

These laws, if passed, will affect those individuals who work for these organizations, but will more so cause emotional and even physical discomfort to citizens whose health support will be reduced.

“There are threats to drop 53,000 low-income Wisconsin citizens from BadgerCare programs and shift 200,000 low-income Wisconsin citizens to a program with fewer benefits. These actions would threaten the overall health of families already struggling to get by,” says Behlen.

Options Clinic to receive cutsFrom HEALTH, page 1

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The Organization for Campus Women (OCW) had a coffee clutch Oct. 28 to kick off their membership for its 40th year at UW-La Crosse.

This year OCW president Maggie McHugh hopes to revitalize the organization, “We’re looking for new members and excitement, it’s all about that bubbly energetic attitude to get people inspire”, said McHugh.

The OCW is comprised of faculty, staff, and graduate student women who work together to bring campus women together to aid each other and the community. The collaboration promotes equal opportunity for women by the different committees. “We really focus on connecting women to create awareness through the different committees,” said McHugh.

Some committees are: Honors/Scholarship/Fundraising, Newsletter/ Website, Book Club, and Symposium. These are not the only committees, and they are always looking for new aspects that have a shared interest in the organization that they can use to help promote women’s issues.

“We’re always looking for new members, and with Growth Quality Access we have more and more women on campus, it’s a great way to network each other,” said McHugh, “some women have even been involved for ten or more years.”

As of now the OCW has about 30 members and their goal is a strong 60. McHugh and the rest of the OCW plan on getting more members though there meet and greets like the coffee clutch and their annual Coat and Mitten Drive that kicks off Nov.1.

“This year we are having a cookie off,”

said McHugh, “we have a group of two men and five women who are going to be making their best cookies.” After the cookies are made, they will be selling raffle tickets for five dollars, and on Nov. 9, those with tickets can come and sample the cookies.

Fundraising is something the OCW likes to do to keep women of the community connected as well. Proceeds for the cookie off will go into the scholarship fund, and their annual Coat and Mitten Drive donations get sent to the New Horizons women’s shelter in La Crosse as well as the Salvation Army. “It’s not just about women on campus, it’s women in the community as well,” said McHugh.

“The OCW is for women who want to unite whatever passion they have that they can bring back to affecting women,” said McHugh

Throughout the OCW history it is this passion has worked to support equal pay at UW-L and work hand in hand with the child care center.

For more information about the OCW and how to get involved, you can contact president, Maggie McHugh or visit www.uwalax.edu/ocw.

By K.C. PowersManaging Editor

Organization for Campus Women begins membership for the year

“OCW is for women who want to unite whatever passion they have that they can bring back to affecting women.”

Maggie McHugh OCW President

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As students who attend UW-La Crosse, the members of Student Senate address the issues that concerns students with sincere thought to create better future for UW-L students. Last week, Chancellor Joe Gow was the featured speaker during Student Senate’s weekly meeting, answering questions from the students in Senate as well as the audience. Many questions were asked concerning the UW System budget lapse, and more importantly, how it will affect students. “As more prospective students come into the university, more tuition must be paid out of our pockets,” he said. “We live in a privileged society, and unfortunately, this may not affect students too strongly right now, but your

younger brothers or sisters, and if you have children, may have to pay a steep price to attend college.”

Many students agree; college will be much more difficult to pay for in the future. “My sister will probably be going to college on a diving scholarship. My brother went to a two-year school and currently is a railroad engineer,” said sophomore Katie Aldrich, “He probably makes more than I will, but he doesn’t have any vacation and works sixty hours a week.”

One of the biggest issues this year was the monetary funds of public universities. Considering that only one out of five people in the United States today have gone to college, “It would be understandable that some people would not want to pay tax dollars to contribute,” said Gow. Today, student’s borrowing privileges have already been affected with a 5.5 percent capped

increase in tuition for each student at UW-L that had already gone into effect for the fall semester. When questioned about this, and how the current budget lapse will affect the student body, Chancellor Gow informed the audience.

“Tuition will only increase in the future as the demands of providing for a large student population increases,” said Gow, “And with the budget lapse, an increase in tuition is something that not only will happen, but must happen,” letting the student and staff members in the audience know to prepare for progressively worse news as the months and the semester goes by.

Gow noted that one of the biggest discrepancies is the fact that the State is demanding more pay-back from the UW system. They also simultaneously continue to give money to the University, only for it to be paid back in due time to the state. This

creates a cycle for public colleges throughout Wisconsin.

Madisson Heinze, Student Association President, noted the importance of knowing the difference between budget cuts and the budget lapse. They are two different problems; budget cuts are decreases in funding for a particular program or entity that are factored into the budget for the next fiscal period, while budget lapses occur when an authority seizes a certain amount of unspent funds that were appropriated with the previously passed budget. Maddisson noted that the budget problems were anticipated by UW-L, and the University prepared accordingly. “At UW-L our administration has done a phenomenal job to prepare for major budget cuts this biennium; however, if the cuts and “give-backs” continue, we are going to face some additional challenges.”

Tuition increases to cover budget lapseBy Julia Van Susteren

Staff Reporter

James P GrenisenVice President CRGin La Crosse County

Citizens for Responsible Government (CRG) is the local organization of the statewide group by the same name. The goal of CRG is to promote solid fiscal policies, oppose government waste and political corruption throughout Wisconsin.

CRG has been keeping track of the cost of K-12 public schools, along with student progress in various subjects. In the past 40 years, costs have tripled, but these increases in funds have not improved the quality of education.

For several years, CRG has examined the University of Wisconsin System, the Board of Regents and UW-La Crosse. The Regents felt the entire UW System should expand to stimulate Wisconsin’s economy and workforce. They came up with a growth, quality and access agenda. UW-L will be raising its enrollment by 1,000 students, hiring an additional 130 faculty, and creating new opportunities for diverse and low income students. A key role in the plan was that the recently completed Centennial Hall would have two auditoriums and 44 classrooms, enough to hold 5,000 students.

Two brick dormitories were torn down about 50 years ago to make room for Centennial Hall, resulting in students now living in cramped spaces until a new dormitory was built at a cost of about $49 million. Earlier the 47 year old Reuter Hall was replaced with apartment style suites at a cost of

$22.3 million. Former Gov. Jim Doyle approved these projects. A high official in Madison commented that these buildings were 40 years old. I asked a local architect how long a brick building should last and he said “Forever.”

UW-L for years had been planning a 10,000 seat stadium that would cost about $18 million, to keep the state track meet in La Crosse. The old stadium averaged about 3,000 fans per game while the attendance at the new stadium is less than 3,000 per game.

Several years ago, CRG contacted UW-Oshkosh regarding its 10,000 seat stadium and they reported that they only averaged 1,800 for their home games. Further, they stated UW-L could construct an adequate stadium with a capacity of 5,600. The planned second phase at UW-L is yet to be built. The plan would make room for 8,000.

Chancellor Gow came to UW-L in 2007. It was previous administrations and leaders that caused the construction fiasco. Student fees will contribute $2.5 million for the next 30 years to pay for the stadium.

College tuition has risen four times the rate of inflation. Fancy athletic buildings, bloated salaries and large numbers of administrators are factors. A few years ago, UW-Madison reported that 6 percent of

their personnel were in administrative positions, but an audit showed it was really only 25 percent and top heavy.

A recent book, “The Faculty Lounges and Other Reasons Why You Won’t get the College Education You Paid For,” by Naomi Riley, a graduate Magna Cum Laude from Harvard University and former editor of The Wall Street Journal, stated, “Tenure is at the heart of so many problems in higher education.”

Chester E. Finn, Jr., Senior Fellow, Hoover Institution, Stanford University, President, Thomas B. Fordham Institute had praise for “The Faculty Lounge” and commented, “Tenure isn’t the only reason America’s higher education is losing quality, productivity and intellectual freedom.” (Think unionization, price inflation, political correctness, academic faddism, lengthening weekends, shortening semesters, nonexistent counseling, and low completion rates.) But our universities and their students would be better off without it- and in this valuable and timely book Riley does a brilliant job of explaining why.”

The teachers unions have formed an alliance with the Democratic Party, paying millions of dollars lobbying in state and federal legislatures. The taxpayer has no control over wages and benefits, and that does pose a question if the fine line between campaign contributions and a bribe has been crossed. Bribery is offering something of value for the purpose of influencing the action of an official in the discharge of his or her public or legal duties.

Caleb BrownViewpoint Editor

viewpoint@theracquet.net

Page 5

Viewpoint Thursday, November 10, 2011

TheRacqueT

EDITORIAL BOARDKelli Ponce | Editor in Chiefkponce@theracquet.net Isaac Lindahl | Managing Editor ilindahl@theracquet.netKC Powers | Managing Editor kpowers@theracquet.netNick Kammers | Campus Editorcampus@theracquet.netJulie Schneider | City Editorcity@theracquet.net Meghan O’Connor | Features Editorfeatures@theracquet.netNicole Laegeler | Assistant Features Editor nlaegeler@theracquet.netCaleb Brown | Viewpoint Editor viewpoint@theracquet.netMegan Fallon | Online Editor online@theracquet.netKhay Alwaissi | Multimedia Editor photo@theracquet.netMarisa Christiano | Copy Editor christia.mari@uwlax.edu

NEWS REPORTERSGretchen Zishka | Senior Reporterzishka.gret@uwlax.eduNatalie Goodman | Staff Reportergoodman.nata@uwlax.eduHannah Kepros | Staff Reporterkepros.hann@uwlax.eduKrista Martin | Staff Reportermartin.kris@uwlax.eduJohannes Kohrs | Staff Reporterkohrs.joha@uwlax.eduJordan Fay | Associate Reporterfay.jord@uwlax.edu

FEATURES REPORTERSKelsey Kopp | Staff Reporterkopp.kels@uwlax.eduAlina Piotrowski | Staff Reporterpiotrows.alin@uwlax.eduMelissa Moss | Staff Reportermoss.meli@uwlax.eduJessica Haugen | Staff Reporterhaugen.jess@uwlax.eduElizabeth Seever | Staff Reporterseever.eliz@uwlax.eduRebecca Pupp | Associate Reporterpupp.rebe@uwlax.eduBill Schaal | Associate Reporterschaal.davi@uwlax.edu

VIEWPOINT REPORTERSOlivia Mercer | Staff Reportermercer.oliv@uwlax.edu Sarah Odden | Staff Reporterodden.sara@uwlax.eduAshley Reynolds | Associate Reporterreynolds.ashl@uwlax.edu

SPORTS REPORTERSAllen Knappenberger | Staff Reporterknappenb.alle@uwlax.edu Jonny Brennan | Staff Reporterbrennan.jona@uwlax.eduJohnathan Cook | Staff Reportercook.john@uwlax.eduDillan Noack | Associate Reporternoack.dill@uwlax.edu

ART AND PHOTO STAFFSenior Photographer | Hannahrose RandPhotographers | Paige Rice, Michael Westberry, Toni Hanson, Rachel SchnellGraphic Designer | Max Hautala

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The Racquet

To work or not to work?By Ashley Reynolds

Associate Reporter

College tuition has risen four times the rate of inflation.

www.the racquet.NeT

Take our online poll...

“Having a job is a good way to begin balancing your priorities as an adult.”

Stephanie ThomsonStudent

THE OPEN FORUM

FROM THE EDITORS TAKE CARE OF YOUR BUDDY! As much as I am sure that we

are all tired of reading about all the “problems” our community has with alcohol, recent events just won’t let it go away. If you pay attention to the news at all, you are probably aware that a few weeks ago on Friday October 28, the La Crosse police apprehended two college age men near the Mississippi River. Needless to say, both men were heavily intoxicated. While on the one hand, getting picked up by the cops when you are drunk (and these guys were DRUNK) is never fun, but getting a ticket is always a preferable alternative to falling in the river and possibly drowning. So, in a way, this story has a happy ending.

Nevertheless, these incidents

bring up what seems to be a perennial issue here in La Crosse. We do live in a safe city, and it is easy to get careless and think that nothing can happen to you. But the truth is, things can happen to you. It seems that almost every year somebody dies after falling in the river. Indeed, there have been nine such cases since 1997. The exact reasons why this happens are debated. There has always been the serial killer rumor floating around, and though we don’t really know, in all likelihood this is probably not the case. But, there are a few facts that tend to be consistent. These accidents always seem to happen in the winter, or at least while school is in session, and the victims are almost always males in their

college years. It doesn’t take much of a stretch to see that these things can be tied to our college drinking culture.

There, it’s out in the open; the one topic we are all sick of hearing. Apparently the message isn’t sinking in, and maybe it never will. Somehow people always end up out on the street early in the morning, wandering around having no clue where they are and seeing the river as the best way to get home. The question we should all be asking is, why were these young men out by themselves in the first place? Not trying to blame anyone or anything, but if we looked after each other a bit more, these things might not happen as often. When we go out, we should stay together. We should

make sure that we all get home safe. When I was in the Army, we

received a “safety briefing” every Friday before we were cut loose for the weekend. Every commander that I had emphasized one thing: Take care of your buddy! They always said we should never find ourselves on our own. We must always travel in groups, and don’t leave anyone behind. Now I don’t mean to suggest that we should all act like we are in the military, but it is a point to consider.

On that October night, the worst was avoided. The police were able to save two lives. That’s a good thing, and it speaks well of our city. But the truth is, those two kids never should have gotten that far.

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Being a college student comes with many responsibilities and obligations that are challenging for most people. So the question is, should you get a job on top of being a student?

The most obvious advantage to having a job while at school is obtaining an income. This income is especially useful for those students who may not have much help from their parents or simply to those who would like some spending money. As Stephanie Thomson, a freshman who works at the front desk of Laux Hall says, “I think having a job is a good way to begin balancing your priorities as an adult. Also, college is expensive so it’s a smart decision to keep an income.” Stephanie is one of the few freshmen on campus that has decided to maintain a job their first semester, but she is on the same track as many of the older students who attend UW-L. Brandi Hagen, a sophomore, has decided to live and work off campus and has a job for many of the same reasons that Stephanie does. When asked if her job was a distraction to

her schooling she replied, “No, I chose to only work weekends so it wouldn’t distract me from my studies”.

Although there are many students who chose to have jobs, a lot of students are apprehensive about adding more to their list of priorities. Emily Groh, a freshman at UW-L, chose not to get a job her first semester of college, “I get to just relax and adjust to college and focus on my classes which is the most important part about college.” This is a common mindset of students, but she goes on to say, “However, I don’t have an income like I’m used to so I feel like I can’t spend money. I’ll for sure get a job next year but I want to get used to being a student first.” It is true that college is quite an adjustment for freshman and, for some, focusing on their academics is enough of a job as it is.

Whether or not a student should work varies by the circumstances and characteristics of each individual. Joshua Everett, a professor here at UW-L, worked 30-hour weeks throughout college while maintaining a 3.9 GPA but realizes that not all students are able to handle the stress that comes with balancing work and school. “The benefits and disadvantages

depend on the student and his or her circumstances. If a student can handle working while in school, I do think it can be very beneficial. I would not trade my experiences working during college for anything. I learned valuable skills, increased my knowledge, improved my marketability as a worker, and grew as a person. Adversity and difficulty are two of life’s greatest teachers, and should be met head-on rather than avoided. They help us understand who we are and what we are capable of accomplishing.”

So it is up to each individual UW-L student to decide if it is worth getting a job while attending college. You must ask for yourself this question: to work, or not to work? There is no black and white answer.

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Born within spitting distance of campus, Connor Lonning has been a symbol of La Crosse since his younger days. At the age of 15, he moved out of his parents home and into a house full of UW La-Crosse wrestlers. Some are raised by wolves, but Lonning was raised by Eagles, and has bleed maroon ever since. When he finally joined the ranks of Division III athletics, he proved himself among other cross country and track runners by eventually becoming an Academic All-American multiple times, an individual WIAC Conference Champion and captain of both squads. However, his reputation neither starts nor ends with running.

When around UW-L, he is often referred

to as “The Bingo Proctor” because of his role at The Eagles Nest Bar and Grill. He is known as the funny man with the quick wit and the everlasting smile. But, this is not a tale about one man’s reputation around the school, it is a story about what can be done with a little persistence and a genuine smile.

As many Nest patrons might know, Lonning has ventured off to his next journey. As a double major in physical education and community health education, Lonning has chosen an unconventional path. By the time most of us shake off our haze from the Halloween weekend, Lonning is basking in the sun of Africa.

With his uncanny ability to make friends and his reputation around La Crosse, Lonning has had the ability to make many friends. One particular friend is a generous

man named Patrick Appiah Yeboah, but more commonly known as Kofi. They met one, fateful afternoon when Kofi arrived at the Nest for a drink and Lonning questioned him about his intentions in La Crosse. Kofi spent some time in our city to raise funds for his soon-to-be orphanage, school and, clinic back in Ghana, Africa.

Through a rather serendipitous story, Lonning and Kofi became good friends. Kofi stayed with Lonning until he raised enough

funds for his non-profit organization (to return to Ghana), and help the children of his home town in Accra, Ghana. Without Lonning’s outgoing personality, Kofi would have left The Nest with nothing but a slight buzz and a pocket slightly less full of cash.

Lonning’s story is a coming of age story that can only be paralleled by that of Huckleberry Finn. This story does not do his life justice. At the age of 24, he has lived in roughly 22 houses and now he plans on adding another continent to his resume. This young man encompasses the adventurous personality that our Founding Fathers had with the downright swagger of a modern day poet. Our best effort to explain this to soon-to-be alumnus will come in future publications.

Page 6 Thursday, november 10, 2011

By Kelsey KoppStaff Reporter

At the age of fifteen he moved out of his parents home and into a house full of UW-La Crosse wrestlers. Some are raised by wolves, but Connor was raised by Eagles.

LifeEtc.

The scenario always is the same: I meet a guy, he asks me out, we start dating, then I realize that I don’t necessarily like him. I get so caught up in what I’m feeling, the excitement of a new relationship, that the rest gets thrown by the wayside.

Here is when I know I fell in like with like: when I would spend all of my time thinking about how great things were, but not necessarily wanting to hang out with the guy. He could call and want to get together, but I would always find reasons why I couldn’t. I needed to teach my fish to swim, my TV told me to stay tuned, or a whole plethora of reasons why I was just to hectic to see him. Yes, I wanted to be with him. I loved “coupley” things, but that didn’t make hanging out much fun. It felt more like an interview of asking questions or answering them without any real bonding.

In comparison, when I fell in love, I

wanted to be with the guy. I wanted to tell my friends and family about him and the funny joke that he told the other day, etc. We had things in common, and I liked him in a way that is irreplaceable. As in, if I met a cuter guy, a funnier guy, a Ryan Gosling look-alike guy, I would still be happy with him. What I am trying to get at is when you fall in love with love, it’s a pretty one-sided thing, you can carry on with just the image of someone in your head and the love filled notions of how great things are or will be. Ask yourself, do you like spending time with him/her? If there was a better “catch” available would you still like him/her as much? Do you run out of things to talk about? What do you like about the other person? When you answer these questions you might have a better insight. However, if you have to question it, the chances are that you already know your answer.

-Becca

How do you know if you’re actually into someone rather than just liking the idea of them? It’s been a while since I’ve been in a relationship, and I honestly don’t know what to do. I need help!

Battle it out with Bill & Becca

What’s the weirdest object in your backpack?

“My lucky rabbit’s foot!”

Katie Majerus,Sophomore

“Science goggles, even

though I’m not in science.”

Tara Noye, Sophomore

“A toy from a Cheerio box...

from last year.”

William Krumbach,Sophomore

“An old M&M cup. I don’t know where that came from.”

Allan Andonegui,Freshman

An easy way to tell if your feelings are of infatuation opposed to something more “real,” is to rationalize the situation. People tend to get caught up in their feelings and forget to think over the situation. They make impulsive decisions about relationships. A good way to get around this problem is to analyze the person’s personality by making a list of pros and cons. You will be surprised at what you will find.

If you do this then you will make more realistic decisions about who you want to seduce. Also, “love at first sight” is some risky business. Acting upon the emotions associated with love at first sight usually doesn’t work because you can not know the background of that person and can’t do an evaluation of their personality.

Basically, what I am saying is that you

shouldn’t follow your heart, but follow your brain.

Let’s face the facts, our hearrts are dumb; they tend to get us into more trouble than not. It’s the difference between lust and love. If you are unsure of your situation concerning

your relationship, take a step back and review the facts. Because, sometimes the person you are trying to seduce with your sexy charm is not that great of a person.

-Bill

Maybe you have one, maybe you don’t. Backpacks come in use for multiple reasons. So tell us, what’s the weirdest item you’re carrying around on campus?

RAISED BY EAGLES The untold adventures of Connor Lonning

“I don’t have a backpack...”

Kiersten Brown,Freshman

“My dog’s first collar.”

Dalton Kansier, Sophomore

Feeling crowded? How-to make the most out of a small space

Imagine this: a beautiful brand new apartment. Dishwasher. In-unit washer and dryer. More than enough cabinet space. Walk-in closets. Now imagine moving from that piece of apartment paradise into a building half as small and three times as old.

Small living spaces are just a part of life for most of us. But when you’re trying to avoid making your apartment look and feel like an episode of “Hoarders,” cramped quarters can become a big problem. Last year, that big beautiful apartment was mine. Now our apartment is a fraction of the size, but we have the same amount of stuff. Combine that with the fact that I’m not the cleanest person in the world, and you’ve got a recipe for an apartment disaster. Since the big move to our seriously smaller digs, my roommate and I have had to make some adjustments and get creative with our storage to make it work. Whether you live in an apartment or a dorm, here are a few tips to get you on the right track to organizational bliss:

Ask yourself, “Do I really need this?” It’s all too easy to get caught up in the “I think I’ll use this someday” mentality. But let’s be honest here. How often do you use that old, broken Magic-8 Ball? And are you really going to do something with all those old bottles?

Another thing to sort out when you have

roommates is duplicated items. Take some time to go through your things together and decide what should stay and what should go into storage. Mom and Dad might not be too happy about it, but you can probably keep some of your extra stuff there until you have space for them.

Get creative. You may be surprised at all the things that can double as storage. Target sells cute storage ottomans in many colors for just $20. These are a great place to store small exercise equipment, winter hats and scarves, and other miscellaneous items.

Don’t try to do it all at once. When you’re confronting a mess of epic proportions, it can be daunting. It’s difficult to know where to start; just tackle it one project at a time. Maybe, one day you should focus on the kitchen, and take over the living room the next day.

Tiny apartments are something all of us are going to have to deal with for at least a few more years. With the help of creative, inexpensive techniques, you can make yours apartment a lot more livable. And it’ll probably make your roommate happier too.

Tiny apartments are something all of us are going to have to deal with for at least a few more years.

By Jim DunnGuest Reporter

A good way to get around this problem is to analyze the person’s personality by making a list of pros and cons. You will be surprised at what you find.

Avoid impulse, analyze, and evaluate

To be in like, to be in love

Meghan O’ConnorFeatures Editor

features@theracquet.net

SportsIsaac Lindahl

Managing Editorilindahl@theracquet.net

Page 7Thursday, November 10, 2011

As October wraps up and the cold weather becomes the norm, some UW-La Crosse athletes hang up their jerseys while others prepare for something much more gratifying.

� e UW-L community should be proud that � ve athletic teams will or have already participated in the Wisconsin Intercollegiate Athletic Conference (WIAC). � e women’s volleyball, tennis, cross-country, soccer team, and the men’s cross country team are either heading to the � nals or just competed.

First up: women’s tennis team. � e Eagles had a strong season with a record of 9-2 and a conference record of 4-2. Ranked third at the conference championships in Madison the team was ready to display their talents. A� er the � rst day of competition, UW-L had � ve single competitors make it through to the next day and the semi� nal round; Mary Weiner (no. 2) Olivia Hartwick (No.

3), Abby Tresedder (No. 4), Andrea Vivian (No. 5) and Megan Fallon (No. 6). � ey also had one doubles team (Maruyama/Tresedder) advance to the WIAC. While the Eagles came up short the next day in the � nal matches, they still � nished at a commendable fourth place in the team championships and secured their spot in a four team tournament with UW-Whitewater, UW-Eau Claire and UW-Oshkosh in the spring to see which team receives an automatic bid to the national championships.

� e women’s soccer team is getting ready to � nish up a stellar year on the � eld. Led by senior goalkeeper Sagan Pissingrilli, the Eagles entered their regular season � nale against UW-Stout tied for � rst in the WIAC at 4-1-2 and 9-5-2 in overall competition. A fairly young team, the Eagles will only graduate six of their players on roster, so we can look forward to another tough squad to keep the winning tradition alive for the soccer team.

UW-L’s women volleyball team � nished

this 2011 season with a tough loss to conference rival UW-Steven’s Point on Wednesday, Nov. 2. Hopefully the Eagles can get back on track and secure two more wins before the post-season begins, starting with the WIAC Championships, the NCAA Division III Regional Championships and � nally onto the NCAA Division III National Championships. Similar to the women’s soccer team, the women of volleyball are relatively young and will only graduate two seniors.

� e men and women’s cross-country

teams look to continue their winning ways in the WIAC. � e men, led by senior and recent WIAC Cross Country Athlete of the Week, Brian Shonat, look to take hold of the trophy. UW-L’s men’s cross country team has had a terri� c season winning all but one competition.

� e women’s cross country runners also have a lot to be proud of heading into a conference championship. Women’s cross-country placed in the top ten as a team in every competition this season, and as of Oct. 15, were ranked 30th in Division III. � e cross-country women are coming o� a third place team e� ort at Lake Wissota Invitational look forward to their post-season competition starting with the WIAC Championships at the Whitetail Golf Course in Colfax, Wisconsin.

Congratulations, once again, to all the teams that competed this fall. We look forward to next year’s competition and Eagle dominance.

TOTAL DOMINANCE UW-L sends � ve athletic teams to WIAC ChampionshipsBy Jonny Brennan

Staff Reporter

Journalism: it’s a � eld where you � nd English, communications and even sports management majors. Each one has the necessary skills and attributes to create great articles and compelling stories. But what about a person who is involved with economics? Can they write a great article and have it published by the Washington Post?

� e answer is yes and that person just happens to be UW-La Crosse Economics professor Dr. Michael Haupert.

� e Washington Post selected about eight individuals they wanted to write up articles about who was the best manager in baseball. Haupert was among those few because the Post was looking for people who did not have a career in sports reporting. � ey wanted people who loved baseball. Economics appealed to the Washington Post editor and Haupert was the man selected for the job.

Haupert was given the assignment of making an argument for the best manager in baseball. Who was the manager he was given? It was none other than the Milwaukee Brewers rookie manager, Ron Roenicke. “I only had a couple of days to do this. And actually I didn’t choose Ron Roenicke. I was told to make an argument for Ron Roenicke,” said Haupert. Haupert just happens to be a Cubs fan, but that didn’t stop him from writing this article.

With an 800 word limit and only two days

to write the article, Haupert had to � nd his information quickly and e� ciently. � ere are many avenues to coast down to � nd the necessary information to write up an article such as this. Haupert used what was readily available. “You can go to the MLB web site, Google and every year the players association releases player salary information. � ey want everyone to have that information in order to

do trades and things like that,” said Haupert. By doing this, Haupert was able to � nd the attendance at the Brewer’s games, the salary paid to each player and how many games won; all very important information when it comes to the best manager in baseball.

Making an argument for Roenicke was not exactly easy, but it le� the question of why he would be the best. What makes Roenicke stand out from the other managers in the MLB? “He got his team to the playo� s. At the time they couldn’t go on to the World Series. � ey’re one of the small market teams, they have a low payroll yet they won a lot of games,” said Haupert.

Seems like a rather simple concept. But what does Haupert really think is the reason behind Roenicke being the best manager? “He was the best manager in 2011 because he was the most e� cient. � e manager can only work with the players he is provided, but it is his job to make the most of the situation,” said Haupert in his article for the Washington Post.

� e Brewers were not given a line-up as say the Yankees. � e Yankees are able to pick any player they want and if it doesn’t pan out they can trade them or sit them on the bench. � e Brewers don’t necessarily have that option. “� eir manager must do a better job,” said Haupert. “He can only have the players he can a� ord.”

And so it seems Roenicke did the best with what he had. It de� nitely showed on game

days. “� e fans responded, all 3.1 million of them. � e Brewers were one of only nine teams that drew more than 3 million fans. And Milwaukee is by far the smallest of the cities that accomplished that feat; all because of the marvelously e� cient job Ron Roenicke did as manager. Not only did he lead the Brewers to victory, he did it where it was most valuable to the team. � at’s a production every boss would love to have,” said Haupert in his article for the Washington Post.

Roenicke sure does seem to be the best manager in baseball. Even if the Brewers didn’t get to the World Series they had a production year that trounces any loss in the past. Take it from Dr. Haupert. E� ciency is the key to a successful season.

If economics and sports seems to be of interest to you or you want to major in economics, check out Dr. Haupert’s class ECO 320: Economics of Sports and Entertainment. You won’t be sorry you did.

For the complete article online at the Washington Post’s web site.

Baseball is Economics UW-L professor writes for Washington PostBy Allen Knappenberger

Staff Reporter

$1

WEDNESDAYS from 4-11PM.... .

. .. .

. . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . ................

....

.

TUESDAYS at 8PM

○ NOT YOUR GRANDMA’S ○

MYEAGLESNEST.NET

Dr. Michael Haupert is an economics professor at UW-La Crosse with a publication in the Washington Post about the Milwaukee Brewer’s manager, Ron Roenicke.

Courtesy UW-La Crosse

The women’s volleyball, tennis, cross country and soccer teams are either heading to the � nals or just competed.

Event info › What: Eagle All Access Radio Show

› Where: Eagle’s Nest › When: Nov. 9 @ 5:30 p.m.

› What: Swimming & Diving vs. Caroll College

› Where: Mitchell Hall Pool

› When: Nov. 12 @ 1 p.m.

› What: Wheelchair Basketball › Where: Eagle Rec Center › When: Nov. 12 @ 10 a.m.

What does Haupert really think is the reason behind Roenicke being the best manager?

Are you as excited for Thanksgiving as

we are???

Be sure to check out the answers

and sumbit props and drops

online at

theracquet.net

GrinBin Thursday, november 10, 2011Page 8

+++ Props to my parents coming to town and getting good food!

+/- Props to my ex-boyfriend moving out of state. Drops to him calling me to propose.

+/- Props to not remembering my weekend. Drops to not remembering my weekend.

+/- Props to Chelsea Kilka winning a pregame party at Whiskey River. Drops to not being coherent enough

to stay and hang out.

+ + + Props to Andie Forcey turning 21. Good luck to ya.

-/+ Drops to waiting until the last minute to start my speech that was due at 8 a.m. Props to doing really well

on it.

+++ Props to nana’s awkward questions about my boyfriend. No, nana I don’t have sleepovers with boys.

- - - Drops to attracting all of the creepers in La Crosse. It never fails.

+/- Props to going out on Friday with my roommates. Drops to my roommate thinking my room

was hers and hooking up in my bed.

+/- Props to Food Pantry providing The Racquet with late night goodies. Drops to the late nights.

+++ Props to getting a love fern.

+/- Props to a free Skillet concert. Drops to having a 7:45 a.m. class the next morning.

- - - Drops to my girlfriend and I breaking up. Double

drops to her telling me she hopes to get back together eventually.

+/- Props to being able to get mac and cheese at Trattoria. Drops to not being able to get it in a bread

bowl.

- - - Drops to the snow.

+/- Props to not having class today. Drops to still having to wake up early, and the nasty weather.

Turkey Day Word Search

PILGRIMSPUMPKINCOLONYPARADECORN

CORNUCOPIANATIVE AMERICANSTURKEYCRANBERRYMAYFLOWER

HARVESTYAMTHANKSGIVINGFEAST SQUASH

LEVPFJXDQDPX = THANKSGIVING (L=T, E=H, V=A, P=N... BUT T≠L, H≠E, A≠V, N≠P...)

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _L E X M C W T R I L E M D C X Y D T J B X Y X _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

L E X U D Y J L L R Z X C X S Y V L X _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

L E V P F J X D Q D P X D P J D A L X X P _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _

J D A L W - R P X.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _M D C X Y D T J U D Y J L V Y Y D Q X H

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _D P P R Y L E V T X Y D Z V D P

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _H X Z X T S X Y J D A L X X P L B X P L W.

Thanksgiving started out just like it does every year. As usual, I woke up

to the __(adjective)__ sound of my dad singing __(a song you hate)__ as he

stuffed our __( noun)__ into the car. Meanwhile, Mom made sandwiches

for the drive to Grandma’s __(shelter)__. The whole way there, __(relative’s

name)__ and I fought over who would have to sit next to Uncle Larry at

dinner. Last year, he __(past-tense verb)__ so bad that I could barely eat my

turkey! But, this year Uncle Larry sat next to his new girlfriend. I couldn’t

stop staring at her. She got so mad that she took a scoop of mashed __(plu-

ral vegetable)__ and chucked it at me from across the table. It flew past

Grandma’s __(body part)__ and accidentally landed right on Grandma’s

head! Then, he picked up a(n) __(animal)__ leg and threw it at her! The

next thing I knew, my uncle yelled “__(noun)__ fight!” Soon we were all

covered in __(fruit)__ sauce, __(vegetable)__ casserole, and slices of roasted

a__(type of bird)__. For once, Mom’s family photo turned out really

__(adjective)__. I wonder what next Thanksgiving will look like!

Picture-Perfect Turkey Day

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Thanksgiving Cryptogram