Nurtured Heart

Liz Lynch and Julia Larson

What is it?

• A therapeutic approach for transforming the difficult child.

• Based off the idea that children are after your energy.

• No excitement or energy is given for a broken rule, just the consequence.

• Lots of energy is given for positive behaviors.

Video Games

Lots of children, especially those that have problem behaviors really enjoy video games.

• Acknowledgement and consequences are reflected in completely straight-forward ways.

• Frequent audible “bells and whistles” and discernable continuous scoring reward positive consequences.

• Clear and immediate consequences are given for actions that are unacceptable.

Who uses it?

Originally parents, but now teachers as well. This approach is somewhat applied at our practicum

site. They must take 3 stands:

1. I refuse to get drawn into giving my child greater responses by giving them my energy.

2. I resolve to purposefully create and nurture successes.

3. I have clear rules for my child and clear consistent consequences.

Active Recognition

• These are verbal snapshots of what the child is doing or how they may be feeling.

For example:

“I notice that you are working really hard on your math homework. You seemed kind of frustrated when you started the division problems.”

“You seem kind of frustrated that we have oranges for snack today, I know that you wanted bananas instead.”

Active Recognition

• The key to Active Recognition is to use non-judgmental language when describing what you see and to be very specific.

• Do not give attention or reaction after a rule has been broken!

Experimental Recognition

• Experimental Recognition snapshots a picture of success for the child. This provides clear and specific feedback to your child regarding values, behaviors or attitudes that you would like them to have.

For example:

“Mark, you made a really great choice. I know you were really upset that Tom threw a measuring cup at your head, but you chose to walk away and let staff handle it instead. That took a lot of self-control!”

Experimental Recognition

This type of recognition allows you create success out of situations that are

usually pretty neutral or given no attention.

Proactive Recognition

In this type of recognition we are transforming rules so that they are clear.

Typical schools have rules such as be responsible, respectful, etc. This is confusing for some children.

The new rules look like: “No cuss words,” “No aggression,” “No breaking things,” etc.

Proactive Recognition

• Instead of waiting for children to break the rules you recognize even small examples of desired behavior.

For example: “I noticed that you haven’t smelled anyone’s armpits today. I appreciate that you are respecting boundaries and personal space.”

It is more effective to correct challenging behavior when they are not exhibiting it, than when they are exhibiting it.

Creative Recognition

Some people may say that they can’t give proactive recognition because the

child has such frequent challenging behavior. This is when creative

recognition is helpful. Find small acts of desired behavior and highlight them!

For example: “I see that you are sitting at your desk waiting to go to the bathroom, thank you for not wandering around the room.”

Credit System

*Credit systems are not required in the Nurtured Heart Approach, but it is helpful for many children.

Steps to creating a credit system:

1. Establish rules

2. List of desired behaviors/qualities

3. List of chores/responsibilities

4. Create ways to spend

At the end of the day have a credit review, focus on positive behavior!

Consequences

• Even though you don’t want to give energy to negative behaviors, consequences still must be delivered.

• The main consequence is a “reset”. This gives the child a chance to recognize they are not displaying a desired behavior and it is quick and allows them to enter back into the routine smoothly. You can welcome them back from the reset as soon as they seem calm, and you should always recognize a well-served reset.

Consequences

• Some behaviors, like violent or destructive behaviors may require more than a reset. In this case some type of community service is recommended.

• When administering consequences do so neutrally, do not argue or give warnings. When a rule is broken administer the consequence and move on. If they do not serve the consequence continue to recognize and reward positive behavior, but freeze their spending until it is served. Never take away credits for bad behavior.

Recognition Example:

Questions?

References

• Glasser, H., & Easley, J. (2008). Transforming the difficult child: the nurtured heart approach. Tucson, Ariz.: Center for the Difficult Child Publications.