oct 15,2011 - issue 15

SERVING RILEY, GEARY & CLAY COUNTIES VOLuMe 1, ISSue 15

TO ADVERTISE CALL 785-307-0450

“Connecting Customers to

Businesses...That’s What We Do Best!”

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OCT 15, 2011

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Yes, That’s Me Officer

When I went toget my driver's li-cense renewed, ourlocal motor-vehiclebureau was packed.The line inchedalong for almost anhour until the manahead of me finallygot his license.

He inspected hisphoto for a momentand commented tothe clerk, "I wasstanding in line solong, I ended uplooking prettygrouchy in this pic-ture."

The clerk lookedat his pictureclosely, and reas-sured him, "It's okay.That's how you'regoing to look whenthe cops pull youover anyway."

"I am not the boss ofmy house.

I don't know when Ilost it.

I don't know if I everhad it.

But I have seen theboss's

job and I do not wantit." -Bill Cosby

"My mom saidthe only reasonmen are alive isfor lawn careand vehicle

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785-762-1702

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6:30pm Thursday, October 20thListen, Learn & Get Informed by the

Professionals!Door Prizes & Refreshments Provided2426 Elmdale Junction City, KS. 66441

Very InterestingA Pennsylvania man wanted to visit hisgirlfriend in the hospital, but had neithertransportation or money for a cab. His so-lution was to call 911 and to ask for an am-bulance. Upon the crew’s arrival, he saidhe was gravely ill and needed to go to thehospital immediately. As the vehiclepulled into the emergency entrance, hejumped out, ran to the elevator and disap-peared. When he strolled back down to theemergency room to leave, he was met bytwo cops who arrested him for failure topay the ambulance bill of $300.

"A man may be a fool and not know it...but notif he is married." -H.L. Mencken

LIKE US at ...www.facebook.com/OPGKansasCurrent Issue Now ONLINE- www.issuu.com/opgks

730 BRIDGE ST, CLAY CENTER

MON-SAT 6AM - 10PM

SUN 6AM - 3PM

785-777-2727

KIDS & ADULTS WELCOME• COSTUME CONTEST

•KARAOKE • GREAT FOOD& GREAT FUN!

HALLOWEENPARTY!OCT 28

8PM-MIDNIGHT

STOP BY FOR OURBREAKFAST-DAILY LUNCHSPECIALS-STEAK-RIBSAND MORE!!

Oct 15-16 - Pioneer FestivalClay County Fairgrounds,

Clay Center

Oct 28 - 4-7pmBoo Blast & Spooky TailsTrail, 308 W. 6th St & Heritage Park, JC

Oct 28 - 8pm-MidnightHalloween Costume Party,Blue Herron Restaurant,730 Bridge St, Clay Center

Opee’s Spotlight..PG 3,4,5

Clay County.......... PG 3Riley County.......... PG 4Geary County.......PG 5Monthly Drawing..PG 6Sudoku Comp........PG 7Kids Page.............. PG 9Classified.............. PG10Crossword..............PG11

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AmazingTrue Facts And just when you thought you kneweverything...

•Mosquito repellents don't repel.They hide you. The spray blocks themosquito's sensors so they don't knowyou're there.

•Dentists have recommended that atoothbrush be kept at least 6 feet awayfrom a toilet to avoid airborne particlesresulting from the flush.

•The liquid inside young coconuts canbe used as substitute for blood plasma.

•Donkeys kill more people annuallythan plane crashes.

•You burn more calories sleeping thanyou do watching television.

•Oak trees do not produce acorns untilthey are fifty years of age or older.

•The first product to have a bar codewas Wrigley's gum.

•Venus is the only planet that rotatesclockwise.

•Apples, not caffeine, are more effi-cient at waking you up in the morning.

•Most dust particles in your house aremade from dead skin.

•The first owner of the MarlboroCompany died of lung cancer.

•Barbie's full name is Barbara Milli-cent Roberts.

•All US Presidents have wornglasses. Some just didn't like being seenwearing them in public.

•Walt Disney was afraid of mice. •Thirty-five percent of the people

who use personalads for dating are alreadmarried.

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Owner..........................Michael StoddardPublisher............................Tom GatschetRiley County................Position AvailableGeary County .............Position AvailableClay County..................Sabrina GatschetGrave Digger...................................OpeeSpider Eater....................................MileyGhost Buster.....................................TomImbalmer.............................Angel T. DogMortishion..........................Byran Q. DogVampire Hunter................................MikeWarewolf Hunter.........................SabrinaCandy Eater #1..........................LondonCandy Eater #2.........................Madison

785-307-0450www.opgkansas.comRead Online-www.issuu.com/opgks

email-tom@opgkansas

Published by The Orange Peel Gazetteof Northeastern Kansas

PO Box 262, Clay Center, KS 67432

The Orange Peel Gazette reserves theright to refuse any submitted

advertising. Offensive, derogatory orreligious material is not permitted.

Please do that somewhere else. This isan entertainment publication so relax,read it and have a good time. Smile atsomeone today. Any mistakes are a

trajedy and we are sorry but it happens-we’ll fix it. Thanks for

reading these tiny words! All rightsreserved. All Rights Reserved-Copy-right 2011 Orange Peel Gazette of

Northeastern Kansas.

OF NORTHEASTERN KANSAS

Bill Collector A bill collector knocked on the door of acountry debtor.

"Is Fred home?" he asked the womanwho answered the door.

"Sorry," the woman replied. "Fred'sgone for cotton."

The next day the collector tried again."Is Fred here today?"

"No, sir," she said, "I'm afraid Fred hasgone for cotton."

When he returned the third day he sar-castically said, "I suppose Fred is gone forcotton again,?"

"No," the woman answered solemnly,"Fred died yesterday."

Suspicious that he was being avoided,the collector decided to wait a week andinvestigate the cemetery himself. But sureenough, there was poor Fred's tombstone,with this inscription: ... "Gone, But Not forCotton."

Songs.... Call it a "cognitive itch." You hear a song--and it's never a GOOD song--and the nextthing you know, it's playing over and overand over in your brain. James Kellaris, aUniversity of Cincinnati professor, tells theLos Angeles Times that humans have beentortured for years by Stuck Tune Syn-drome. There is no cure, but Kellaris thinkshe's figured out why it happens. The songis like a mental mosquito bit, creating a"cognitive itch" that can only be scratchedby replaying the tune in the mind. And themore the brain scratches, the worse that ol'itch gets. Kellaris surveyed college stu-dents and found out that when songs getstuck in our heads, 55 percent reported thatthe song was stuck just a few hours, while23 percent said it lasted a full day, 17 per-cent said it persisted for several days, and5 percent suffered for longer than a week.Ouch!

The L.A. Times reports that the factorscausing songs to get stuck in our heads areexcessive repetitiveness (Queen's "We WillRock You"), musical simplicity ("If You'reHappy and You Know It"), and incongruity("America" from "West Side Story"). Andwhat are the "stickiest" songs? Accordingto Kellaris' survey, they are: "TheMacarena," "I'm a Little Teacup," "Gilli-gan's Island," the Chili's baby-back ribsjingle, Tchaikovsky's "1812 Overture,"Kenny Rogers' "The Gambler," "YMCA,"two Dr. Pepper jingles, Mozart's "EineKleine Nachtmusik" and the themes from"The Andy Griffith Show" & "The OddCouple."

CONTRACTS? - NOPEHIGH PRICES? - NO WAYBORING CONTENT? - NEVER

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Did You Know....Marco Polo was a dauntless Italian ex-plorer who traveled to the mysterious Chi-nese Empire in the 13th century. Hisaccount of his journey was unbelievable tomany of his countrymen. It was severalcenturies before other travelers finallyconfirmed the bizarre elements of Polo’stravelogue. Still today, Italians are knownfor their pasta dishes - an idea almost cer-tainly brought back by Marco Polo fromthe Chinese.

Riddles To PonderQ: What is the name of the Irishman that keepsbouncing off walls? A: Rick O’Shea

Q: What is green, big and doesn’t speak allday?A: The Incredible Sulk!

Q: Why couldn’t the flower ride the bike?A: Because it had lost its petals

Last night I lay in bed looking up at thestars in the sky and I thought to myself,

where the heck is the ceiling.

A Leisurely DriveTwo elderly women were out driving in a largecar. Both could barely see over the dashboard.As they were cruising along they came to an in-tersection. The stoplight was red but they justwent on through.

The woman in the passenger seat thought toherself, “I must be losing my mind, I swear wewent through a red light.”

After a few more minutes they came to an-other in intersection and the light was red again,and again they went right through. This timethe woman in the passenger seat was almostsure that the light was red, but was really con-cerned that she could be mistaken.

She was getting nervous and decided to payvery close attention to the road and the next in-tersection to see what was going on.

At the next intersection, sure enough, thelight was definitely red and they went rightthrough. She turned to the woman behind thewheel and said, “Mildred! Did you know wejust ran through three red lights in a row! Youcould have killed us!”

Mildred turned to her companion and said,“Oh! Am I driving?”

The average woman would rather havebeauty than brains, because the averageman can see better than he can think.

Did You Know...The home team must provide the referee with 24 footballs for each National Football League game

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TO ADVERTISE ON THECLAY COUNTY PAGE

Call Tom- 785-307-0450 or email - [email protected]

What is a QR code?A QR code (abbreviated fromQuick Response code) is aspecific matrix barcode (ortwo-dimensional code) thatis readable by dedicated QRbarcode readers and cameratelephones.

Scan ‘em and seewhere they go!

Got a QR code- send it to us, we’llprint it!

“Fast, Clean, Quality Work”

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EXPERT INSTALLATIONPROFESSIONAL [email protected]

785-632-0453cell 785-200-4866

MISSMARIE’S

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Full Breakfast!Homemade Fries!

Fried Chicken SpecialEvery Sunday!

Daily Lunch Specials!

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OPEE’S SPOTLIGHT Clay County

DISTINCTIVE IMAGES

(785)632-3341503 COURT ST, CLAY CENTER

MON-FRI 10-5:30 & SAT 9-3THURDAYS 10-7:30

Your One Stop Fan Shop!!

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“The Hottest Little Paper In Town!”PAGE 4

HeavenThe story is told, apocryphal no doubt, of theDJ working on a small and remote radio sta-tion in Scotland midway through his pro-gramme late at night on 1 October 1977. Newscame to the station that Bing Crosby had died(the station producer happened to be on thephone to the States and picked the word up al-most as it occurred). The DJ thought he couldpossibly be the first person in the UK to pub-licly announce the death, so he put on a longtrack and rushed off to record library to get anold recording to play. Upon returning, nerv-ously excited by now, he put the first recordonto the turntable without looking at it andbroke into the record then playing with a som-bre voice: 'I am deeply sorry to have to inform'you listeners that I have just received newsfrom America of a great tragedy. The leg-endary Bing Crosby is dead. As a humble trib-ute, I would like to play one of his songs,' andas he switched over to his Crosby 'selection',the melody was beamed out, 'Heaven . . . I'min Heaven...'

Rolls-Royce vs Yugo

A guy driving a Yugo pulled up to a stoplightnext to a Rolls-Royce.

He rolled down his window and shouted tothe driver of the Rolls. "Hey, buddy, that's a nicecar. You got a phone in your Rolls? I've got aphone in my Yugo!"

The driver of the Rolls looked over and saidsnobbishly, "Yes, I have a phone."

The driver of the Yugo said, "Cool! Hey, youalso got a fridge in there, too? I've got one in theback seat of my Yugo!"

The driver of the Rolls, much annoyed, says,"Yes, I have a refrigerator."

The driver of the Yugo said, "That's great,man! Hey, you got a TV in there? You know, Igot a TV in the back seat of my Yugo!"

The driver of the Rolls, quite irritated bynow, replied, "Of course, I have a television. ARolls-Royce is the finest luxury car in theworld!"

The driver of the Yugo said, "Yes, a verycool car! Hey, you got a bed in there? I got abed in the back of my Yugo!"

The driver of the Rolls, upset that he did nothave a bed, sped away and went straight to thedealer, where he promptly ordered a bed to beinstalled in the back of his Rolls-Royce.

The next morning, he returned to pick up hiscar, and the bed looked superb. It came com-plete with silk sheets and a brass-trimmed head-board. It was clearly a bed fit for a Rolls-Royce.So the driver of the Rolls began searching forthe Yugo. He drove around all day and finallyfound the Yugo late that night.

It was parked, with all the windows foggedup from the inside. He got out and knocked onthe window of the Yugo. When there wasn't anyanswer, he continued knocking and knockinguntil finally, the owner of the Yugo lowered thewindow, and stuck his soaking wet head out.

"I now have a bed in the back of my Rolls-Royce," the driver of the Rolls stated arrogantly.

The driver of the Yugo looked at him nar-rowly and said, "You got me out of the showerto tell me that?!?!"

Did You Know...Vincent Van Gogh comitted suicide while painting Wheat Field with Crows.....The first Ford cars had Dodge engines




GARETT GABRIEL

WeddingsCommercialAssignmentSpecial Occasion & Much More!!

785-410-5132


GOT BUSINESS?

Advertise with the Orange Peel Gazette and Start “Winning” TODAY!

First time advertisers ONLY! Offer Exp. 11/15/11 Not Valid with any other offer.

With a current monthly readership of over 40,000 the funniest content in three counties

Advertising with the Orange Peel Gazette just makes sense!

OFF1st DISPLAY AD50%

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The Orange Peel Gazette Is Now Looking For A Sales representative

For The riley County Area.....

Must Be a self-starter and able to work with little supervision!

If you Think your The Person wereLooking For Then email us at

tom@opgkansas

CONTRACTS? - NOPEHIGH PRICES? - NO WAYBORING CONTENT? - NEVER

FULL COLOR - OH YEAH1 AD TO 3 COUNTIES - SURE

HOME DELIVERED TO FORT RILEY - YES

Call: 785-307-0450


MON-SAT 6AM - 10PM

SUN 6AM - 3PM

785-777-2727




8PM-MIDNIGHT


Increase Sales 785-307-0450- CALL THE ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE -

“The Hottest Little Paper In Town!” PAGE 5

Rules For Bowling1) If you holler "overs!" before the ball

passes the arrows, you get to throw the ballover, unless of course, you get a strike. In whichcase, you can renege on the "overs".

2) When your team is about 10 marks downin the 8th or 9th frame, you can invoke the rule"First Team Through Bowling Wins the Game",and your team still has a chance.

3) After a member of the opposing teambowls 4 strikes in a row, he/she must bowl thenext 4 frames blindfolded. If he/she continues tostrike, his/her shoelaces will be tied together for2 frames.

4) When you leave the 10-pin and you knowyou can't make the spare, but another memberof your team can, invoke the "DesignatedBowler" rule.

5) After you have 4 splits in one game, youmay say "Kings X" and take those 4 framesover. However, if you split on the 2nd timearound, you accept it. After all, "Fair is Fair".

6) If your ball goes in the gutter and jumpsback onto the lane, knocking dow pins, by golly,you get them! That's much harder than to knockthem down the conventional way. Good bowl-ing should be recognized.

7) A ball should be declared dead when youbowl 3 games without a strike. It shall be theowners privilege to decide on the disposition ofsaid dead ball - Burial at Sea, Dropped from anairplane over a live volcano, or a simple burialin the city dump. For a small fee, a league offi-cer can be bribed to deliver a short eulogy.

Did You Know...Charlie Brown's father was a barber.....Ingrown toenails are hereditary

TO ADVERTISE ON THEGEARY COUNTY PAGE

Call Tom - 785-307-0450 or email - [email protected]




Call 785-341-8767

FREE ESTIMATES

INTERIOR / EXTERIOR

Serving Manhattan/Junction City& Surrounding Areas

Jeremy Sutton - Owner

Some BeachLIQUOR STORE

HOURSMON-THURS: 4-8

FRI-SAT: 9AM-10PMSUN: NOON-8PM

101 11TH ST., MILFORD785-463-2111

RELAXATIONSTATION Massage

Studio“Relaxing - Refreshing - Rejuvenating”

HoursMon: by appt.Tues-Fri: 10am-7pm

Sat: 10am-5pm

Sun: Closed

Gift CertificatesAvailable!

16 Years of Experience!841 S WASHINGTON ST., JUNCTION CITY

785-238-7777

buy - sell & trade

mon-fri 11-6 sat 10-51016 N WASHINGTON ST,

JUNCTION CITY

Need to Finish Your High School Education?Geary County Learning Center offers adult students

an opportunity to complete their high school requirements and earn their high school diploma. In conjunction with Junction City High School our students work to earn a

traditional diploma issued from Junction City High School. For students located on Ft. Riley, there is a satellite

campus located in the ACS building.

The Program has ongoing enrollmentwith a low $20.00 yearly fee.

Both Centers Open for the school yearAugust 8th, 2011 8:00 a.m.

907 W. 6th St., Junction City, KS (785) 223-6691

`tzÇÉÄ|tËá“Formal Wear Accessories & Gifts”

Wedding Dresses-JewelryBags-Home Decor-Baby Gifts

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“Now Inside the NEW PX”&618 N.Washington St, Junction City

Mon-Fri 10-6 Sat 10-4785-762-4455

OFF ENTIREPURCHASEOffer Exp. 09/30/11Not valid with any other offer

The AnswersQ: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise canprolong life. Is this true?A: Your heart is only good for so many beats,and that's it... don't waste them on exercise.Everything wears out eventually. Speeding upyour heart will not make you live longer; that'slike saying you can extend the life of your carby driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take anap.Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat morefruits andvegetables?A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. Whatdoes acow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these?Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than anefficient mechanism of delivering vegetables toyour system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef isalso a good source of field grass (green leafyvegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100%of your recommended daily allowance of veg-etable slop.Q: Is beer or wine bad for me?A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruitsandvegetables. As we all know, scientists divideeverything in the world into three categories:animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all knowthat beer and wine are not animal, and they arenot on the periodic table of elements, so thatonly leaves one thing, right? My advice: Have aburger and a beer and enjoy your liquid vegeta-bles.Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?A: Well, if you have a body, and you have bodyfat, your ratio is one to one. If you have twobodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.Q: What are some of the advantages of partici-pating in a regular exercise program?A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philos-ophy is: No Pain - Good.Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?A: You're not listening. Foods are fried thesedays in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeatedin it. How could getting more vegetables bebad for you?Q: What's the secret to healthy eating?A: Thicker gravy.

Mon-Fri 11-6 & Sat 10-5

1016 N. Washington S t, J.C.Lots of Great New Styles!

785-579-6779

Any Purchase with CouponOne Coupon Per Person/VisitOffer Exp. 09/30/11

Wher e Ev er y th i ng i s$29.99 or Les s

Juniors, Misses, Plus Sizes,Jewelry,Shoes, Fashion Accessories & GiftsNEW ITEMS ARRIVING WEEKLY!

10% Military Discount With Valid I.D.

(785)223-0400122 GRANT AVE., JUNCTION CITY

MON-FRI 10-7:00SATURDAY 10-4:00

OPEE’S SPOTLIGHTThe Orange Peel Gazette Is Now

Looking For A Sales representativeFor The Geary County Area.....

Must Be a self-starter and able to work with little supervision!

If you Think your The Person wereLooking For Then email us at

tom@opgkansas

GreAT PrICeS!

625 N. ADAMS, JUNCTION CITY

MON-FRI 9:30 - 5:30SAT 9 - 1

DAY OLD BREAD CHIPS - SNACKS

HANDMADE CRAFTSIN OUR GIFT AREA!

CONGRATULATIONS TOCONGRATULATIONS TOAndrew Payne of Wakefield! HEWON A $100 GIFT CERTIFICATE$100 GIFT CERTIFICATE FROMTHE BLUE HERRON IN CLAY CENTER!

DRAWING WILL BE HELD ON THE 20TH OF EACH MONTH AND THE WINNER WILL BEANNOUNCED IN THE 1ST OF THE MONTHS ISSUE OF THE OPG!

WE HAVE DECIDED TO CHANGE THE WAY WE DO OUR MONTHLY GIVE AWAY.NOW ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS SEND US AN EMAIL WITH YOUR NAME, ADDRESS &

PHONE NUMBER TO [email protected] HAVE STAYED THE SAME THOUGH

IF YOUR NAME IS PICKED YOU WILL RECIEVE A $100 GIFT CERTIFICATE TO ONE OFOUR PARTICAPATING ADVERTISIERS

DRAWING WILL BE HELD ON THE 20TH OF EACH MONTH AND THE WINNER WILL BE ANNOUNCEDIN THE 1ST OF THE MONTHS ISSUE OF THE OPG!

RILEY

Just email your Name, Address and Phone number to [email protected]

for our $100 Gift Certificate Giveaway! Drawing will be held on the 20th of each month. Winners will be notified by the last business day of the month by phone or mail. Winners willbe published in the 1st of the month issue of the OPG. Gift certificates will be from one of the Orange Peel Gazette of Northeastern Kansas’s

participating advertisers. No Purchase Necessary. Visit www.opgkansas.com for more info.

TO ENTER EMAIL YOUR NAME, ADDRESS & PHONE NUMBER TO [email protected]

GEARY CLAYKATALYST DZINE & GRAFIX

8831 Quail Lane, Suite 103, ManhattanDERICK’S BAIT-N-TACKLE

4700 Tuttle Creek BLVD, Manhattan

QUICK LANE TIRE & AUTOCENTER/DICK EDWARDS

375 Grant Ave, JCTHRIFT-N-GIFT625 N Adams, JC

FORT RILEY REAL ESTATE2426 Elmdale, JC

FOXHOLE PAINTBALL1016 N Washington St, JC

SCRUB HUB1016 N Washington St, JC

JUNCTION CITY BOWL835 Washington St, JCRELAXATION STATION

MASSAGE841 S. Washington St, JCSOME BEACH LIQUOR 101 11th St., MilfordTHE PAMPERED PET308 W 6th Street, JC

MAGNOLIA’S916 N. Washington St, JC

FERGUSON REXALL DRUG713 5th St, Clay CenterDISTINCTIVE IMAGES503 Court St, Clay CenterTHE BLUE HERRON

730 Bridge St, Clay CenterTOTAL ADDICTION

505 Court St, Clay CenterMAYO’S

717 5th St, Clay Center

MOM’S HILLTOP DINER706 10th St, WakefieldTHE COACHLIGHTRESTAURANT

114 Weda St, LongfordSTUDIO D

418 Lincoln St, Clay CenterMISS MARIE’S DINER101 West Parallel, Clifton

WANT SOMEONE TO WIN A GIfT CERTIFICATE TO YOUR BUSINESS????IT’S SUPER EASY, JUST ADVERTISE YOUR BUISNESS IN THE ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE

CALL 785-307-0450 OR EMAIL [email protected]

MORE LOCATIONS COMING SOON! MORE LOCATIONS COMING SOON! MORE LOCATIONS COMING SOON!

PAGE 6 Orange Peel Gazette - OCT 15 / Issue #15

WANT SOMEONE TO WIN A GIfT CERTIFICATE TO YOUR BUSINESS????IT’S SUPER EASY, JUST ADVERTISE YOUR BUISNESS IN THE ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE

CALL 785-307-0450 OR EMAIL [email protected]

A Laugh A Minute•We may take laughter for granted, thank good-ness, but scientist are studying it to learn moreabout how the human brain functions. They’vefound it’s a complex learned behavior that in-volves the same process as problem solving inwhich the brain produces a regular electrical pat-tern. Early studies with brain damaged patientsshowed that people with brain injuries couldn’tdistinguish what’s funny from what’s not, lead-ing them to believe the cause was a dysfunc-tional brain wave pattern. One scientist said, “Ifwe can figure our how the mind processeshumor, then we’ll have a pretty good handle onhow it works in general.”

•Brainiac: Dumb criminals may be dumb,but they can also be very polite. A robber hold-ing up a convenience store in Nevada agreed po-litely to the store clerk’s demand that victimswere entitled to make one phone call. He wascompletely surprised when the police showed upand arrested him. DUH?

•“The juvenile sea squirt wanders through thesea searching for a suitable rock or hunk of coralto cling to and to make its home for life. Forthis task, it has a rudimentary nervous system.When it finds its spot and takes root, it doesn’tneed its brain anymore, so it eats it. It’s ratherlike getting tenure.”

Did You Know...Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined

INCREASE SALES 785-307-0450 PAGE 7- CALL THE ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE -


Complete the Sudoku grid above and EMAIL the 3 numbers that appear in the grey boxes (from top to bottom) along with your name and address to [email protected] announced next Issue!Winner will be chosen from all correct entries Answers must be receivedon or before Oct 24th.

SUDOKU COMPETITION

WIN $10

SUDOKU COMPETITION

WINNER!

ANSWERS

3, 3, 9

OCT. 1ST ,2011ISSUE #14

Congratulations to Bob J. of Manhatton! He is the Oct. 1st/Issue #14 Winner of the$10 Sudoku Competion! Thank you for all the entries!GOOD LUCK IN THIS WEEKS COMPETITION!

Opee Gazette says: Let’s Play!who wants To Be A Zillionaire?

$494,000 Question...What is the body temperature of a normalman?A) 81.1 B) 87.6C) 98.6 D) 99.9 $495,000 Question...Which of the following helps in clottingblood?A) Vitamin B1 B) Vitamin B2 C) Vitamin D D) Vitamin K $496,000 Question...Red blood corpuscles are formed in the...?A) Liver B) Bone MarrowC) Kidneys D) Heart $497,000 Question...Take guess. How many bones are there in anadult human being?A) 210 B) 260C) 206 D) 300$498,000 Question...Tibia is a bone found in the...?A) Skull B) ArmC) Leg D) Face $499,000 Question...The main constituent of hemoglobin is...?A) Chlorine B) IronC) Calcium D) None of these $500,000 Question...Which of the following glands secrete tears?A) Lachrymal B) PituitaryC) Thyroid D) Pancreas$501,000 Question...Which of the following vitamins promote thehealthy functioning of eyes in human beings?A) Vitamin B B) Vitamin C C) Vitamin A D) Vitamin D

(Answers below - See you next issue)

Answers: $494 - C $495 - D; $496 - B; $497 - C; $498 - C; $499 - B; $500 - A; $501 - C.

THE GENER

AL

KNOWLEDG

E QUIZ 5

Increase Sales 785-307-0450PAGE 8 - CALL THE ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE -

See That...Two guys are out hunting deer. The first guysays, "Did you see that?" "No," the second guysays. "Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead,"the first guy says. "Oh," says the second guy. Acouple of minutes later, The first guy says, "Didyou see that?" "See what?" the second guy asks."Are you blind? There was a big, black bearwalking on that hill, over there." "Oh." A fewminutes later the first guy says: "Did you seethat?" By now, the second guy is getting aggra-vated, so he says, "Yes, I did!" And the first guysays: "Then why did you step in it?"

Moose CallTwo hunters went moose hunting everywinter without success. Finally, theycame up with a fool-proof plan. They gota very authentic cow moose costume andlearned the mating call of a cow moose.The plan was to hide in the costume, lurethe bull, then come out of the costumeand shoot the bull. They set themselvesup on the edge of a clearing, donned theircostume, and began to give the mooselove call. Before long, their call was an-swered as a bull came crashing out of theforest and into the clearing. When thebull was close enough, the guy in frontsaid, "Okay, lets get out and get him."After a moment that seemed like an eter-nity, the guy in the back shouted, "Thezipper is stuck! What are we going todo!?" The guy in the front says, "Well, Idon't know how about you but I'm goingto start nibbling grass."

Two hunters were driving throughthe country to go bear hunting.

They came upon a fork in the roadwhere a sign read "BeAr LeFT"

so they went home.


Printed with permission fromAmerican Rifleman magazine.www.americanrifleman.org

www.nra.org

A man entered LoloDrug pharmacy in Mis-soula County, Mont.and demanded oxy-codone from the phar-macist. The pharmacistand owner, an 80-year-old Army veteran, re-sponded by retrieving agun and ordered thecriminal out of thestore. The robber com-plied, and according topolice was screamingon his way out.

The criminal shouldhave known better thanto take on Lolo Drug,as this isn’t the firsttime the pharmacist hasencountered a robber.During the last attemptin 1999, when a crimi-nal drew a gun on thepharmacist, he wrestledit away and aimed it atthe robber, causing himto flee. (The Missou-lian, Missoula, Mont.10/06/11)

Two shoplifters enteredGartner’s liquor store inTopeka, Kan. with thegoal of making off withsome stolen whiskey.After picking a bottle,one of the shopliftersdistracted the clerk bypretending to look forhis money while theother ran out of thestore with the whiskey.The clerk, a right tocarry permit holder,pulled out her gun, andheld the remainingshoplifter at gunpointuntil the police arrived.Afterwards, Topeka po-lice Sgt. John Trimblestated that the clerk waswithin her rights whenshe protected the store’sproperty, adding,“Everything she didwas completely legal,”The clerk had the fol-lowing to say about theincident, “We haveshoplifters every sooften; Most of themaren't as dumb as thesetwo.(”The Capital-Journal, Topeka, Kan.10/29/08)

Did You Know...If you add up the numbers 1-100 consecutively (1+2+3+4+5 etc) the total is 5050

-TO ADVERTISE- OUTDOOR LAUGHS PAGECall Tom - 785-307-0450 or email - [email protected]

on the


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OPEN

Mon-Fri 9 - 6:30Sat 9 - 6 & Sun 1 - 4

308 w 6TH STreeTJuNCTION CITy

785-238-8335

‘RAW’ Dog Food -IN STOCK!

Flea & Tick Collars

TONS OF FOOD-IN STOCK!

GROOMING & BOARDINGAVAILABLE-CALL FOR APPT!

“Thanks for all the CommunitySupport on our trips to helpJoplin!” - Emily

Good Luck to all the STUDENTS going BACK TO SCHOOL!

Eukanuba-Science Diet-Wellness-Taste of theWild-Merrick-Nutri Source-Deli Fresh-RoyalCanine-Avoderm-Innova-EVO-California Natural-Stella & Chewys...AND MANY MORE!

GARETT GABRIEL

FilmYour

KansasDeerHunt

785-410-5132


Duck HuntingAn avid duck hunter was in the market for anew bird dog. His search ended when he found adog that could actually walk on water to retrievea duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure noneof his friends would ever believe him. He de-cided to try to break the news to a friend of his,the eternal pessimist who refused to be im-pressed with anything. This, surely, would im-press him. He invited him to hunt with him andhis new dog. As they waited by the shore, aflock of ducks flew by. they fired, and a duckfell. The dog responded and jumped into thewater. The dog, however, did not sink but in-stead walked across the water to retrieve thebird, never getting more than his paws wet. Thiscontinued all day long; each time a duck fell, thedog walked across the surface of the water to re-trieve it. The pessimist watched carefully, saweverything, but did not say a single word. On thedrive home the hunter asked his friend, "Didyou notice anything unusual about my newdog?" "I sure did," responded the pessimist. "Hecan't swim."

Duck HuntingTwo hunters got a pilot to fly them into the farnorth for elk hunting. They were quite success-ful in their venture and bagged six big bucks.The pilot came back, as arranged, to pick themup. They started loading their gear into theplane, including the six elk. But the pilot ob-jected and he said, "The plane can only take fourof your elk; you will have to leave two behind."They argued with him; the year before they hadshot six and the pilot had allowed them to put allaboard. The plane was the same model and ca-pacity. Reluctantly, the pilot finally permittedthem to put all six aboard. But when the at-tempted to take off and leave the valley, the littleplane could not make it and they crashed intothe wilderness. Climbing out of the wreckage,one hunter said to the other, "Do you knowwhere we are?" "I think so," replied the otherhunter. I think this is about the same placewhere we landed last year!"

-what does the lion say to hisfriends before they go out hunting for food ?

'Let us prey.'

-what do you get if you cross atelephone with a hunting dog?

A golden receiver!

START

FINISH

LOST!HelpOpee Jr.find hisPumkinon theotherside ofthemaze!GOODLUCK!

“O“ORANGERANGE YYOUOU AA-MAZE--MAZE-INGING””

Did You Know...On the cartoon show 'The Jetsons', Jane is 33 years old and her daughter Judy is 15



Kids PageOpee J

r’s785-238-6813

Good For ONE FREE Game of Bowling per person per day. Not Valid on Cyber Bowl. Shoe Rental Not Included.Offer Exp. 09/30/11

CUT OUT THIS COUPON AND RECEIVEONE FREE GAME OF BOWLING!

OPeN @ 9 AM DAILy!

835 S. wASHINGTON ST, JuNCTION CITy

Q. Why did the boy tiptoepast the medicine cabinet?

A. He didn't want to wake thesleeping pills!

Q. Why did Tommy throw theclock out of the window?

A. Because he wanted to seetime fly!

-TO ADVERTISE- OPEE JR’S KIDS PAGECall Tom - 785-307-0450or email - [email protected]

on

Q. Why did Goofy put a clock under his desk?

A. Because he wanted to work over-time!

Q. When do you stop at green and go at red?

A. When you're eating a watermelon!

Q. What happens to a hamburger that misses alot of school?

A. He has a lot of ketchup time!

Q. How do you repair a broken tomato?

A. Tomato Paste!

Connect The DOTS. . . . .Color Me!

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TYPE OR PRINT 20 WORD MAXUNDER $99 FREE!

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GET RID OF THAT EXTRA STUFF!MAIL TO: ONLINE

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All ads must contain phone number and price-No email addresses please

Name:

Address:

Phone:

[email protected]

-Merchandise Ads Only-Private Ads only, No FREE Business Ads-Item must be under$99&clearly stated in ad-O.P.G. reserves the right to reject any ad-Ad Runs for 2 weeks (one Issue)-Limit (2) ads per household per issue-No Animals in FREE ads

RULES

EMAIL

FArM FOr SALe$225,000

20 Acres with House & MANYout-buildings! Close to

Manhattan-GREAT LOCATION!Call 785-539-5778

NeeD A CLASSIFIeD AD?5 LINES FOR $5!

each additional line- $1!

your listing runs for2 weeks

and goes to 3Counties!

Call 785-307-0450

wakefield-$138,000*Investor Wanted*

4 Unit-2 Bedroom, 1bathroom Apartments.

Fully Rented785-762-1702

Clay Center-$60,000*Priced to Sell*

2 bedroom, 1 bath,1 Car Garage &full basement.785-762-1702

Junction City-$125,900*Priced To Sell

3 bedroom, 2.5 bath Du-plex. Fireplace, and 2 car

garage.785-762-1702

Junction City-$125,900*Priced To Sell*

2 bedroom, 2.5 bath Du-plex. Fireplace, family

room and 2 car garage.

785-762-1702

wakefield-$176,900*New Construction*3 bedroom, 2 bath, view out basement,

3 car garage.785-762-1702

wakefield-$182,000*Quiet Neighborhood*

Newer 3 bedroom, 2 bath, fireplace, full unfinished

basement w/2 car garage.785-762-1702

REAL ESTATE - MERCHANDISE - LIVESTOCK - APT. FOR RENT - BUSINESS SERVICES - PETS & SUPPLIES - AUTO - EMPLOYMENT

wakefield-$129,900*Turn Key Home*

3 bedrooms, 1.5 bathremodeled home.

Screened in porch, privacy fence.

785-762-1702

bUSINESS & sERVICES dIRECTORYTo Advertise for only $10 per Issue Call 785-307-0450 or email [email protected]

ANIMALS FOR SALE

Dog Blessed Kennel www.dogblessedkennel.com785-256-6648 or 785-249-9046Cute puppies looking for loving homes!

D & D Kennelwww.dndpuppies.com785-692-4373Check out our puppies that are available now & ones coming soon!

AUTOMOTIVE

Quick Lane Tire & Auto Center375 Grant Ave, Junction City800-444-5114Premium Oil Change $29.95! Stop by today!

BED & BREAKFAST

The ABBI 800 N. Buckeye Ave, Abilene785-263-4900Come stay the weekend iin affordable luxury!

LAWN CARE

Turf Managementwww.turfmngt.com785-410-0394Lawn Care ~ Snow Removal ~ Leaf Removal

PAINTING

Jill & Stacy’s Painting and WallpaperWashington, Clay, Riley & Geary Areas785-275-1076 or 785-568-2033Painting-Wallpaper-Tile Work-Repair

Did You Know...Table tennis balls have been known to travel off the paddle at speeds up to 105.6 miles per hour

UNCLASSIFIEDS

CLAy CeNTer$39,500 “As Is”

3 Bedroom on 3 Lots, needs a little “TLC”

785-630-0763

REAL ESTATE

Fort Riley Real Estate 2487 Elmdale Rd, Junction City785-762-1702Let Joy and her team find your dream home!

$$ REWARD $$Scooter is Lost / Missing since 9/4

Male Chihuahua: neutered, nothousebrocken, has medical

problemsCall Corey or Christina at

761-7633, 761-7711 or 761-2332Missing from 9th & AdamsLast seen at 6th & Jefferson

•Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

•Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.

•And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unri-valed inconvenience.

•We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.

•Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

•For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.

•Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

•Christmas sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

•A hospital posted a notice in the nurses' station saying:"Remember, the first five minutes of a human being's life are the most

dangerous."Underneath, a nurse had written:

"The last five are pretty risky, too...."

MarriageA man and his wife were having some problemsat home and were giving each other the silenttreatment. The next week the man realized thathe would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 amfor an early morning business flight to Chicago.Not wanting to be the first to break the silence,he finally wrote on a piece of paper, "Pleasewake me at 5.00 am." The next morning the man woke up, only to dis-cover it was 9.00am, and that he had missed hisflight. Furious, he was about to go and see whyhis wife hadn't woken him when he noticed apiece of paper by the bed ... it said... "It is5.00am; wake up."

WeddingA little boy was attending his first wedding.After the service, his cousin asked him, "Howmany women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," theboy responded. His cousin was amazed that hehad an answer so quickly. "How do you knowthat?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you haveto do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better,4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"

"I just broke up with someone and thelast thing she said to me was, 'You'llnever find anyone like me again!' I'mthinking, 'I should hope not! If I don'twant you, why would I want someone

like you?'

--Larry Miller

"Relationships are hard. It's like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one.If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants toleave you, they should give you twoweeks' notice. There should be sever-ance pay, and before they leave you,they should have to find you a temp."

--Bob Ettinger

"My mom said she learned how to swimwhen someone took her out in the lake

and threw her off the boat. I said,'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you

how to swim.'"--Paula Poundstone

BorntobeFREE!

Visit us at www.opgkansas.com to sign up today!



Did You Know...A group of frogs is called an army.....A group of kangaroos is called a mob

Across1. Expert5. Catch, in a way10. Center of authority14. Cuckoos15. Impede16. Bridge toll unit17. Easy to pick up20. Baffled21. One of the Simpsons22. Supply with ammo23. Marriage, for one?26. Raw liquors28. "China Beach" setting31. Capture33. Lagerlöf's "The Wonderful Adven-tures of ___"34. "Right away!"36. Applications38. Hotel posting41. Ghost whisperer?

44. Money in the bank, say45. Case46. Peeved47. "How ___ Mehta Got Kissed, GotWild, and Got a Life" (KaavyaViswanathan novel)49. "My ___!"51. This moment52. Bathtub type55. Jupiter, e.g.57. Charlotte-to-Raleigh dir.58. Frozen desserts60. Karate moves64. Sadly68. Fill69. Cookie Monster cohort70. Call to a mate71. 1914 battle line72. Big Bertha's birthplace73. Combine

Down1. Apple variety2. Condo, e.g.3. Fixes, in a way4. "Confessions" singer5. Grassland6. Balaam's mount7. Attempt8. As yet9. Genetic material10. Took a load off11. Extreme fatigue12. Notify13. College units18. Detective, at times19. Clothing24. Drawn tight25. Arise27. Sword lilies, for short28. Astronaut's org.29. Deadly biters30. Small house, in London

32. End35. Warms up37. Turned sideways39. 100 cents40. Old World duck42. Bologna home43. Bog48. Chinese fruit tree50. "That hurt!"52. Full of gossip53. Son of Simon the Just54. Noblemen56. Bundle59. Minus61. Diamond Head locale62. Some Olympians, nowadays63. Eye affliction65. "___ Town Too" (1981 hit)66. Go for the gold67. Appetite

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Big ObjectsDriving to work, agentleman had toswerve to avoid a

box that fell out of atruck in front of

him. Seconds later,a policeman pulledhim over for reck-less driving. Fortu-

nately, anotherofficer had seen thecarton in the road.

The policemenstopped traffic andrecovered the box.

It was found to con-tain large uphol-

stery tacks. "I'm sorry sir,"

the first trooper toldthe driver, "but I amstill going to have

to write you aticket."

Amazed, thedriver asked for

what. The trooper

replied, "Tacks evasion."

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OPG CROSSWORDby Myles Mellor

ANSWERSOCT 15/ISSUE #15

STOP PEEKING!

O.P.G. Crossword by Myles Mellor

INCREASE SALES 785-307-0450PAGE 12- CALL THE ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE -


Did You Know...Money is made of woven linen, not paper.....Starfish don't have brains

Manhattan, Kansas785.320.7633 - [email protected]

Retail design, yard signs, banners, vehicle graphics, wraps and much more.

6th Annual

��

oCTOBER 21, 20114pm - 7pm

308 WEST 6TH STREET, JUNCTION CITY

tickets $10advance tickets available at the following locations:

the pamered pet • screen machine flint hills vet clinic • Junction city

abstract & title

storewide sales • vendors • giveaways • pet freebies • pictures • raffles • silent auction

& much, much more!

& 2nd Ever

��

PRESENTS

��

$5 dinner provided by coach’s

is at heritage parktrick or treat through the park with your pooch

& kiddos! fall has arrived and it’s time to celebrate!

all proceeds of this 3 hour event goes directlytowards helping junction citys homeless pets

$12eve

nt

shirts

��

oct 15,2011 - issue 15

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