overcoming fears

8/7/2019 Overcoming Fears

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Chapter 1 ± A vision

Edward's POV

My family sat around me in the living room on a rare quiet night. Emmett and Jasper were occupiedby a new game while Rosalie and Alice talked about their hair on one of the couches. On the other

couch was Carlisle reading a book with Esme curled up next to him, also reading a book. I wasoccupying myself with one of Carlisle's numerous medical texts.

For the most part it was quiet except for the occasional outburst from Emmett or Jasper. I enjoyed thepeace and was totally engrossed in my book. I was suddenly disturbed from my reading by a vividimage coming from Alice ± another vision. It must have been pretty important for her to force her

thoughts on me, she usually tried not to share her visions with me.

In the vision was a human girl of average height with chocolate brown hair and eyes. She was almostas pale as we were and seemed far too thin for her height. She was standing at the bus station in

Olympia with Alice and Esme. She had a small backpack slung over her shoulder with a tattered bookclutched in her hand. Alice and Esme introduced themselves and she smiled slightly and murmured

that her name was Bella Swan.

The vision ended and both Alice and I relaxed. The family sat around waiting expectantly for thenewest news. Alice grinned at all of them, ecstatic. "Esme, tomorrow the two of us need to take a trip

the nearest foster care office! You'll go with me right?"

Esme looked back, startled and confused. "Why ever would we go to the foster care office?"

"Because," Alice said, then paused dramatically. "We are all getting a new sister!

"A human one?" Rosalie asked, surprised.

"Yep!" Alice chirped as she began to bounce up and down.

"Who is it?" Emmett asked.

"Her name is Bella Swan, but I couldn't tell how old she was." She suddenly became serious. "But Imust warn you, she seems extremely fragile for a human, so we'll have to be extra careful with her."

Esme laughed in delight. "Well, if that's the case, I'd be happy to go with you Alice."

Alice almost flew across the room as she rushed over to Esme to throw her arms around her neck."Thank you so much Esme!"

I didn't much attention to them as they continued asking Alice questions, I couldn't get the image of that girl out of my head. Bella Swan, huh, I thought. I had only seen her for a moment, but I couldn'tget her image out of my head. I found myself genuinely curious for the first time in a long time and I

found myself excited for what was to come.



Chapter 2 ± Arrival

BPOV

I ran through the house as far away from him as I could. The fear made my stomach clench and madeit hard to breathe. I couldn't escape! There was no place to go that he couldn't get to me from. Then

his voice rang out, sickly sweet under laced with an undeniable threat, "Bella, come out!"

I knew I couldn't go back, I couldn't go through it again. I bolted to the bathroom and locked myself in. I went to the far and hugged my knees to my chest, trying not to cry. Suddenly he was outside thedoor and began banging on it. He was truly mad know. "Bella!" He roared. "Don't make me break this

door down!"

I cringed and hugged my knees closer to me, and cowered in the corner. Suddenly I heard the rattleof keys and belatedly remembered that the bathroom had a key to it. I watched in horror as the door

slowly opened and he stood in the doorway, his eyes angry.

I jerked awake suddenly and sat up straight in my seat. After 8 hours on the Greyhound bus I hadfinally been able to fall asleep, only to have that dream again. I shuddered and quickly looked out the

window to see where we were. I was surprised to see that we were slowing down and pulling into thebus station in Olympia, Washington. I had been on the bus for 10 hours from my previous house inIdaho to come here where the Cullen¶s would pick me up and take me to their house in Forks, WA ± a

place I didn't even know existed until now.

The bus shuddered to a stop and I pulled my small backpack from its spot under my chair and pickedup my book from off the seat next to me. I was a collection of abridged classics that I had bought 10years ago and it was the only thing I owned that wasn't clothes. I stood up, suddenly apprehensiveand exited the bus. I had been told that the Cullen¶s had three sons and the only reason I hadn't

thrown a fit about going into a house with three boys was that if I didn't, I would have to go back tomy previous house which was not happening.

I carefully stepped down off the bus, trying not to trip. I stood looking around, feeling extremelyawkward and sensitive to all the bodies surrounding me. I flinched away and backed quickly to the

wall to get away from the press of people. I watched all the people walk past and wondered again howin the world I was going to find the Cullen¶s.

Suddenly I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. I turned to see and my breath caught in my throatat the sight that greeted me. A girl considerably shorter than stood there grinning brightly at me. Shehad black pixie spikes all over her head and she was amazingly beautiful, yet shockingly pale, evenpaler than me. Behind her stood a taller woman with caramel-colored waves of hair cascading herback. Despite their differences they seemed very similar, both had pale skin, golden eyes and deep

purple shadows under their eyes. I quickly averted my eyes, trying not to stare.

The shorter one laughed merrily, "Hello! My name is Alice Cullen and this is my mother, Esme Cullen.You are Isabella aren't you?"

"Bella." I corrected automatically, then I blushed. "I mean, I prefer to be called Bella."

Once again Alice laughed. "Then Bella it is!" She looked closer at me and noticed my small bag andasked in surprise, "Is that all you have?" I nodded, my blush deepening.

Esme quickly cut in before Alice could say anymore for which I was deeply grateful. My previous familyhadn't seen why I should have more than a couple of pairs of jeans and two t-shirts. I looked intoEste¶s gorgeous eyes as she spoke, "Welcome Bella. We are very excited to have you with us! I



apologize that only Alice and I could come to pick you up ± the others are at home preparing yourroom so that it is ready for you."

I sighed in relief. "That's okay." Suddenly the rest of her statement sunk in. "They're preparing a roomjust for me?" I squeaked.

Esme looked confused, but nodded. "Yes, just for you. We had to move Edward's study to make roomfor you, but it should be ready for you by the time we get there."

I looked at her with my mouth open, but closed it quickly. Alice looked concerned. "Is everything okayBella?"

I cleared my throat and said quietly, "I've never had my own room." Once again Alice looked shocked,but Esme sidestepped her and took my bag from me.

"Well, then I guess we should go home so you can experience it." She said, her eyes twinkling. All Icould do was nod as she turned and led Alice and I back to the car. It was a bright yellow sports car

that I couldn't name and I gaped at it.

Alice giggled. "Pretty isn't, it? This one is mine, it¶s my baby." All I could do was stare back in surprise.Alice grabbed my arm and pulled me over to the car and let me into the back seat. Then she skipped

over to the driver's side as Esme slid into the front seat with my backpack at her feet.

Alice quickly started up the car and smoothly drove out of the parking lot. I sighed, I was starting mynew life today and deep inside I knew I would never be the same again after this.

Chapter 3 ± The Drive

Alice POV

I slid into the driver's seat and sighed in satisfaction as my beautiful Porsche that I had gotten lastChristmas. It came to life with just a purr of the engine, and then I drove out of the parking lot andquickly got onto the freeway. The usual three hour drive from Olympia to Forks should take only one

at my current speed of 100 mph.

I peeked at my rear-view mirror to look at Bella as we sped along. She seemed even more fragile in

person than she had in my vision. When I had first seen her she had been as far away from otherpeople as she could. When I had touched her, she had whirled around so fast as if she had expecting

someone bad behind her.

Right now she was sitting tense and with her eyes shut tightly. Immediately I was worried and quicklyasked, "Bella, are you alright?"

She cracked one eye open and looked at me, and then spoke quietly. "Do you think you could slowdown a little?" Then she flinched back as if expecting me to hit her for saying something.



"Oh, sure, if it bothers you I can slow down." I told, her bemused at her reaction. Dutifully I eased myfoot off the gas pedal slightly so that we were only going 80 mph now. Her response hinted to me that

her previous homes were not happy places that took kindly to questions.

She slowly relaxed and on a sudden impulse I told her, "Bella, if you ever have a question or want tosay something, feel free to. None of us would mind it and you definitely wouldn't get punished for

speaking what you thought."

She just stared back at me with a shocked expression, which quickly turned dubious as if she thoughtI was lying to her. I glanced at Esme for her to back me up and try to convince her, but she was

already speaking. "Alice is right Bella. Feel free to tell us what's on your mind whenever."

Once again Bella just nodded, still not talking. I almost sighed in frustration, but bit it back. She had ahard enough time talking without her thinking I was angry with her. I was going to have to work hard

to get her to loosen up around us.

Esme suddenly spoke again. "Bella, how old are you?"

"17." Was the short reply.

Esme lit up. "That's great! That means that you'll be a junior with Alice and Edward. If you want Icould get you classes with them so you won't be alone in your classes."

Bella gave a non-committing shrug and stared out the window, but I noticed that she flinched whenEsme mentioned Edward. Why would she have a problem with him already? Then, unexpectedly, she

spoke, her voice still quiet.

"Uh, Esme. What's the rest of your family like?"

Both Esme and I were shocked that she had spoken and I wryly thought that it was a good thing wehad such good hearing or else we wouldn't have heard her speak. Esme smiled warmly back at Bellaand answered. "Well, all of my children are adopted and the oldest two are Jasper and Rosalie. They

are twins and a couple of months older than Emmett. All three are seniors right now. Next is Alice andthen Edward. My husband Carlisle is a doctor at the hospital right in town and I'm just a stay-at-homemother."

Bella just nodded once again a little paler if that was possible. Once again I was worried, "Are yousure you're alright Bella?"

She composed herself quickly and responded, "Yes, I'm just a little tired." Then she leaned back andshut her eyes. I knew she wasn't sleeping though ± her breathing and heart rate stayed the same.

Never the less, I let her keep the façade as it was clear that she didn't want to talk anymore.

The rest of the drive we were all silent and I took an occasional peek at her face. It was so stiff as if she was forcing herself not to show anything making her look much older than 17. I worried over how

things would be when we got home. Her strange responses I was pretty sure was at the mention of my father and my brother's names which was strange.

I mulled over the implications of that all the way to Forks. When we were in the city I called back toBella, "Bella, we're almost to the house." She opened her eyes slowly and looked out the window atour small town. She must have liked what she had seen because she smiled softly to herself. I was

surprised how much she changed when she smiled. She almost seemed like a normal teenager whenshe did. Then suddenly it was gone and she had her mask back on.



I sighed to myself. My first project was to get her some more clothes and to find a way past her maskand to find out why she afraid of everyone.

BPOV

Part way through the drive I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep. I don't think I really fooled Alice

or Esme, but I didn't want to talk anymore. Beside, Alice had sped back up to her previous speed andthe other cars looked they were driving backwards. I don't know why but I couldn't stand it, so Iclosed my eyes to block it out.

I thought about what Alice had said about it not mattering what I said and almost laughed. Two of myprevious families had said the same thing at the beginning but then had taken to punishing me for

what I said. My heart believed what she said, but I had stopped listening to my heart a long time ago.Instead I knew that I never could be that lucky as to have a family that would allow me to do that.

Then there was what Esme had said about having three sons and a husband. I had to force myself notto panic about being in a house with four other males, three of which were older than me. Previous

experiences with men had not been pleasant for me.

I shied away from that line of thought. I didn't want to start freaking myself out on my first day withthis family. Instead I thought about what having my own room would be like. In all my previous fosterhomes I had either had a small cot or slept on the floor and then either in someone else's room or in

some corner. At one point I even slept in a room with the family's three huskies. As strange as itsounds, that was the most comfortable and warmest place I had ever slept.

When we finally reached Forks, Alice 'woke me up.' I looked out the window of our still speeding carand was pleased by what I saw. Forks was a small hick town ± no offense to those who live there ±but it still was beautiful me. A small town would suit me just fine as I hated being surrounded by

people. I smiled softly to myself as I looked outside.

The smile quickly disappeared as I remembered what being in Forks meant. I would be meeting therest of the Cullen¶s soon and I was not looking forward to it.

Chapter 4 ± Meet the Cullen¶s

EPOV

Today was the day Bella was coming and everyone except Rosalie was excited. Rosalie was, asalways, mad that she didn't have anyone focusing on her, so I just ignored her altogether. Jasper and

I worked on cleaning out my study and setting it up according to Esme's instructions. Emmett hadbeen sent out to but some last minute groceries only because Rosalie refused to go. Carlisle

meanwhile was finishing his shift at the hospital for the day.

By the time Carlisle came home we were all done with our appointed jobs and were sitting aroundjoking and teasing one another. Carlisle joined us and we waited until I could hear Alice's thoughts

again.

"They're almost here ± I'd give it about another 20 minutes." I told everyone around me. We movedout to the living room as was planned. Emmett disappeared upstairs to get Rosalie to come down from

where she had been sulking.



E dward! Alice's thought rang out. We're on the driveway, but I need to warn all of you not to touchher! I don't know why, but I saw that if any of you boys touch her she will freak. So just stick to

waving. I quickly told everyone, and even though they were confused they agreed to not touch her.

I peeked out a window as Alice parked her car out front. All three got out of the car and got my first,real good look at Bella. What I saw took my breath away. She was so beautiful, even more than so

than Rosalie in a way. Her pale skin and dark hair contrasted so well, making her look almost as paleas we were.

I tried to focus on her thoughts, but it was like she wasn't there. Where I should have been able tohear her 'voice' was absolutely. All I could hear was my family's thoughts all around me. I quickly

backed up to where my family was and stood with them as Bella was led up to the house by Alice andEsme.

BPOV

Their house was huge! It was the largest house I had ever seen and easily the most beautiful. Istumbled out of the car after Esme and Alice, still distracted by the sight.

Alice of course laughed at my expression of amazement and I had the distinct feeling that it was goingto become a tradition of her laughing at me. She made eye contact with me and then carefully linkedarms with me, making sure it was okay with me. I didn't mind hooking arms with her, but for some

reason she was freezing cold even though we had just stepped out of a warm vehicle.

More confident now, Alice led me up to the house behind Esme. She held the door open for both of usand I entered my new house.

The inside was large and spacious, and extremely peaceful. On the far side of the room stood a groupof people who I assumed were the rest of the Cullen¶s family. There were four men and one gorgeous

woman. She looked like she had just stepped off in her designer clothes, and for some reason sheseemed angry. The men were all different sizes and builds with all different hair colors. Even though

they looked so different, if you looked closer, they were extremely similar. They all had extremely paleskin, gold eyes, and very beautiful like Alice and Esme.

Esme quickly stepped over to her family while Alice stayed by the door with me. Alice looked at meencouragingly and I realized that I was gripping her arm tightly in fear. The men seemed extremelyintimidating and I was reacting to their presence. I slowly relaxed my grip and focused on breathing

as Esme turned to introduce everyone.

"Bella, this is my husband Carlisle, the twins Jasper and Rosalie, Emmett and finally Edward." She saidindicating each one and they in turn acknowledged me. But when she said Edward's name and Ilooked into his eyes for the first time, I realized he was stiff and glaring at me across the room.

Suddenly it wasn't Edward staring at me, but Phil, the man who haunted my dreams. I t was if I wasback to that time when I was so helpless and he was my living and personal devil. The only reason I

didn't run was because I was frozen to the spot in fear.

Alice's voice whipped out sharply, startling me. "Edward!" He averted his eyes quickly and it was as if a spell was broken. I looked down at my shoes, trying as hard as I could to not cry and to not think

about Phil at all.

I did not look up as Edward excused himself from the room, leaving the rest of us in silence. Esmebroke the silence quickly, "Bella, why don't I show you your room so you can get settled?" I nodded

my head but I didn't try to move or even look up from my shoes.



When she saw I wasn't moving Alice tactfully cut in. "Why don't I come with both of you?" I finallylooked up and gave her a small smile of appreciation. It wasn't that I didn't like Esme, it was just that

I knew I was going to need Alice's help to make it there as I wasn't very steady on my feet.

The rest of the family scattered around the house as Alice and Esme led me up a flight of stairs to thesecond floor. They brought me to a door to one side of the hall and opened the door to let me in.

As I stepped in, I was shocked once again, so much that I forgot about what had just happened. Theroom was all white with windows all along the far wall, showing the forest next to the house and a

mountain in the distance. There was a walk-in-closet on one side of the room and a twin-size bed inthe middle of the room. The walls were bare, but I instantly loved it.

Esme walked in and stood next to Alice while saying apologetically, "It's a small room, but I hope youlike it."

I looked around again. The room seemed perfect to me and I didn't even know what she meant bybeing small. On an impulse I turned and hugged both Esme and Alice. "Thank you ± it's perfect." I

whispered. I let go quickly, embarrassed but Esme was beaming and Alice seemed overjoyed.

Esme spoke again, "we left the walls white so you could paint them whatever you wanted, and wehave some furniture you could use if you wanted."

I looked down shyly, "I love the color blue."

Esme laughed, "Of course, blue would look great, and remember Bella, this is your room and you candecorate it however you like. Now, what shade of blue would you like?"

We continued to discuss my room for an hour and I surprised even myself with how much I spoke. Wehad decided on sky blue walls with white trim and doors. Alice had finally convinced me that I neededa desk, a bookshelf, and a nightstand. There was already a dresser in the closet that I could use for

my clothes.

Then we started an argument over wall decorations. I don't know why we were arguing about that butwe were. Really though, I think both of them were just trying to get me to talk as much as possible,

but strangely enough, I didn't mind all that much. Even though I had only known both of them for lessthan half-a-day, I felt really at ease with them and I had unconsciously relaxed my usual stiff manner.

I honestly enjoyed talking to both of them.

Finally my stomach's loud growl brought an end to the argument. I blushed as Alice let out a tinklinglaugh. Esme smiled and pulled me off the bed where we had all sat down. "Come on, I'll fix you some

dinner ± what would you like?"

I shrugged. "I'll have any leftovers you have ± I don't eat very much.

Alice pursed her lips and looked at me critically. "I can believe that." She muttered, then louder said,"It is your first night here Bella! We are not feeding you leftovers!" She turned to Esme. "Pasta or

fish?"

"I think pasta would be better." Was the reply.

"Alright Bella, tonight you are getting pasta, tomorrow you can have fish." With that, Alice whisked medownstairs. I sat on a stool as I watched both of them cook. They were so fluid and never ran intoeach other that it was like it was a dance. When they finished Alice slid a plate in front of me that



looked absolutely delicious. I timidly picked up my fork and took a small bite ± it was even better thanit looked.

Both Alice and Esme laughed as my eyes lit up and I began to eat in earnest. I finished the platequickly along with a glass of milk. "Uh," I groaned, patting my stomach. "I think I ate too much, but it

was so good!"

Esme began to pick up the dishes, but I took them out of her hands and brought them to the sinkmyself. I started the water running over them and told them, "You made me an amazing dinner, so I'll

wash the dishes." Esme acquiesced and left me to it, saying she had something to finish upstairs.

Alice stuck around and dried the dishes next to me and put them away when we were done. As Ipassed her the last dish, I stifled a yawn. She glanced at me side-ways and teased, "I think someone

is a little tired."

I grinned tiredly at her and she proceeded to tow me upstairs after she had put away the last dish. Iwas surprised when we reached my room to find a new set of pajamas sitting on my bed. I blinked inconfusion at Alice, but before I could say anything she cut in, "Don't argue Bella, Esme got those for

you to use! She saw that you needed them so she got them for you, humor us please by wearingthem." I shut my mouth knowing it was useless to argue with her.

Alice hugged me then skipped over to the door. Before she left she turned back and told me, "If youneed anything, my room is right across the hall. Oh, and Bella. Tomorrow is girl-time, just me and

you." With that she waved goodnight and left, shutting the door behind her.

I changed into my new pajamas while yawning hugely. I wondered what 'girl-time' would entail, butshrugged my shoulders ± I would find out tomorrow. I turned off my light and climbed into bed. I was

asleep as soon as my head hit my pillow.

Chapter 5 ± Sleep Talking

EPOV

When Bella had walked into to the room her scent had been like a tidal wave crashing over me. It wasso sweet and strong that before I knew it, my mouth had filled with venom. Then Emmet was next to

me, gripping my shoulder tightly and forcing me to stay in place. I realized what I was doing andstopped breathing to try to get a hold of myself, but her scent was still strong in my memory.

I glared at her as Esme introduced her to us. I couldn't believe that such a fragile human could bringout the monster in me so strongly even with all of my years of practicing abstinence. When Esmeintroduced me, Bella looked into my eyes and I was startled out of my anger by how beautiful shewas. I gasped, then tried to stop myself, but it was too late. Her scent flooded over me once again,

even more powerful than before.

Once again I cut off my breathing and glared at her ferociously for doing this to me. Then she didsomething unexpected. Her eyes glazed over and it was like she was looking at me, but seeing

something else. She seemed to shrink in on herself, and began to clutch Alice's arm even harder.



Then Alice's voice whipped out both verbally and mentally. "Edward!" I quickly averted my eyes tolook at her. She was angry and mentally shouted, Leave now! I quickly complied knowing that Alice

was right.

I walked quickly out of the room and then sprinted up to my room, shutting the door behind me. Ithrew open all the windows in my room and breathed in deeply the clean outside air. I just stood there

for a while trying to get her scent out of my head when I heard her voice for the first time.

It was soft and smooth like velvet. I smiled in spite of myself and slowly walked over next to my door.I sat down leaning against it and listened to her voice. Without her scent bombarding me, I could

appreciate how beautiful it was, just like the rest of her.

I don't know how long I sat there, just listening to her voice, never really picking up the topic of conversation. I didn't move as she went downstairs with Alice and Esme for dinner and then came

back upstairs to go to sleep. She must have fallen asleep quickly because Alice was almostimmediately outside my door.

I moved to let her in and she sat down cross-legged directly in front of me. She smelled faintly of Bella and in such a diluted form I could easily deal with it and even enjoy its unique scent. I sighed, I

was getting somewhere at least, it was just going to be a very slow process.

Alice looked at me pointedly and I picked up from her mind, What got into you earlier, E dward?

I shrugged and spoke quickly at vampire speed, "I don't know. Her scent was just so strong andalluring that it was all I could to not bite her right there."

Alice sighed. This is going to complicate things. I cocked an eyebrow and she understood. Somethinghappened to her in her past that has left her scarred and hurting. I don't know exactly what yet, but I 'm pretty sure it is connected to the dislike of men. Her expression lightened considerably as she

thought, Tomorrow Bella and I are going shopping!

I snorted. To Alice, all of the world's problems were solved by shopping in some form or another. Aliceglared at me, clearly understanding the reason for my laughter. She stood up and sniffed. "I'm going

for a run because someone doesn't appreciate my love of shopping." And then she was gone.

I shook my head and leaned back against the wall, breathing deeply. I could faintly smell Bella fromthe air coming through my open door and I was glad that I was able to enjoy in such small quantities.I must have sat there just breathing deeply for multiple hours before I heard her stir in her room and

mutter something.

Curious in spite of myself I stood up and slowly walked downstairs, making sure I could stand theincreasing strength of her smell. I stopped outside of her door and listened intently. She was silent for

a minute then she spoke again and I realized she was sleep talking.

"Phil." With that one name she managed to convey fear, hatred and sorrow. I leaned closer, intriguedwondering why she would be so afraid of him. I knew Alice would want to be here so I 'made' the

decision to enter Bella's room, knowing she would come immediately.

Bella was silent and I thought that maybe she wasn't going to talk more when she started up again."Stop it. No, leave me alone!" She sounded so helpless and hopeless and I wanted to go calm her, but

I knew I couldn't ± that wouldn't be good for either of us.

She began to breathe hard and then began to weep, "Please, don't have the key. Please just leave mealone." Then Alice was next to me shoving me away as she opened the door to get in. I backed away

instinctively and held my breath as Alice comforted her.



APOV

I was getting close to the house when a vision came about Edward. He was frantic and I could hearBella weeping in the background. He was going to enter her room. I inhaled sharply in shock and ranas fast as I could into the house and to her room. I found Edward still outside the door and I could

hear for myself her frantic calls.

I roughly shoved him out of the way so he wouldn't be exposed to the full force of her scent again andto tell him I did not want him to be seen. I rushed into the room and quickly went to Bella's bed. I

started shaking her. "Bella, wake up!"

She sat up gasping, tears still streaming down her face. She was disoriented and started lookingaround frightened, and then she focused on me. "Alice!" She cried and threw her arms around me.

I held her and rocked her gently back and forth, "Sh, Bella, its okay now. It was just a dream. You'resafe here." I quickly sent out my thought to Edward, G et E sme NOW! I heard him get up and leave as

I continued to sit and rock her gently.

Esme arrived quickly and sat on the other side of Bella. She began rubbing her back and asked

concerned, "What's wrong Bella?"

She drew in a shuddering breath and then sobbed out, "Phil, he came back in my dreams."

"And who is Phil, Bella?" Esme asked. Bella just shook her head, refusing to speak.

I phrased my question carefully, "Bella, is he why you afraid of other men?" She hesitated; thennodded slowly. I pushed down my rage towards that man, and instead just kept rocking her.

Slowly she calmed down and finally was able to sit up. She wiped the last of the tears out of her eyesand shuddered. "I guess I should have warned you guys that I talked in my sleep all the time." She

made a face. "I'm sorry for waking you two up."

I shook my head empathetically. "Don't worry about it Bella, we were happy to help you. That's whatwe are here for, to help you and be friends with you." Bella smiled softly at both Esme and I. Slowly I

asked, afraid to make her cry again, "Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head and shuddered, "Please don't make me! Not now!"

Esme instantly was hugging her again. "It's okay Bella. If you don't want to talk its okay ± it's justthat sometimes it helps to talk about things, it helps bleed some of the poison off. But it doesn't have

to be right now."

She hugged Esme back, "Thank you." She slowly sat back up; then looked down embarrassed. "Alice,would stay in here with me a little longer, at least until I fall asleep? I mean, you don't have to, but,"

I cut her off before she could become even more flustered. "Of course Bella." She smiled gratefully atme.

Esme smiled at both of us. "I'm glad you're feeling better Bella, good night both of you." She left,quietly shutting the door behind herself.

Bella settled back down under her covers as I hummed one of Edward's songs. Bella quickly fell backasleep, but I stayed with her through the rest of the night to make sure she would be alright.



Chapter 6 ± Girl Time

BPOV

I woke up in the morning to the smell of breakfast wafting up from downstairs. I opened my eyes andslowly stretched and sat up. Light was flooding my room and I was surprised that I had slept until 9 ±

I usually was an early riser.

Alice must have heard my movements because she was almost immediately at my door letting herself in. She had a tray carefully balanced in one hand and gracefully skipped over to my bed. She set the

tray in my lap while giving me a one-armed hug.

"Good morning, Bella!" She practically sang, "Was the rest of your sleep peaceful?"

I nodded, blushing. "I'm sorry that I woke you and Esme up."

"Bella, we have been through this. It is alright. Esme and I are happy we can help you." Shereassured me, and then became business like. "Now, stop worrying and eat your breakfast ± we have

a lot to do today." I complied, suddenly realizing how hungry I was.

I finished quickly, and Alice immediately whisked away the tray calling as she left, "The bathroom isthe first door to the right ± you can get cleaned up in there, and then we are off!"

I stood up and after grabbing my only other outfit, went into the bathroom. It was at least half thesize of my bedroom with a mirror and counter that stretched across an entire wall. Sitting on the

counter was a towel, shampoo, conditioner and a hairbrush that I assumed Alice had put out for me.

My shower only took five minutes, so when Alice knocked on the door I was already dressed and hadbegun to brush my hair. I walked over and opened the door to see Alice bouncing up and down in

excitement.

"Can I do your hair?" She asked excitedly.

I laughed and handed the brush over. "Sure, Alice." She hugged me tightly and then whirled mearound to face the mirror. She spent five minutes just brushing my hair before she deftly put it up into

a half-ponytail.

When she finished she sighed happily and asked, "Can I do your hair every day? Please!"

I linked arms with her and headed downstairs. "If you want, Alice."

Once more she squealed and threw her arms around me. As she let go Esme walked into the livingroom smiling. "Are you two going out?"

Alice nodded, "We are going shopping, though I'm not sure if we should go to Port Angeles or toSeattle."

"Port Angeles is closer, but Seattle does have more choices." Esme supplied.

Alice cocked an eyebrow at me and I shrugged. "It doesn't matter to me. Though," I paused, and thenadmitted. "I would like a new book."



"Seattle it is then." Esme and Alice said almost perfectly in unison. All three of us laughed; Alicecontinued. "Port Angeles doesn't have a good selection of book stores if you are looking for something

new. Now with that decided, we are off! We'll see you later Esme!"

"Bye, Esme." I called as Alice pulled me out of the door. Esme just waved as we quickly went over toAlice's Porsche and both got in. Alice quickly started the car and we were soon off of their property

and on the highway.

Alice sped up insanely, but miraculously we didn't hit any of the cars she was swerving around. Iaverted my eyes so I wasn't seeing the cars flying backwards next to us and asked Alice uneasily,

"Alice how am I going to pay for today ± I mean I don't have any money."

"Bella, this trip is my treat. I'm going to pay for it and all you need to worry about is getting what youneed and having fun." I opened my mouth to protest, but Alice gave me a look that clearly told me

that resistance was futile. I closed my mouth and looked at my shoes and sighed inwardly. They weretattered with pieces of cloth hanging off of them. I definitely needed a new pair and my jeans were

not much better. Alice was right; I did need some new cloths.

With Alice's insane driving we made it to the ferry port in under an hour. We were the first ones onthe ferry and for some reason Alice thought it went too slow and was bouncing with impatience the

entire time.

When we landed in Seattle, Alice was almost immediately off and weaving through traffic. She stoppedafter about ten minutes in front of a large Macy's store. We would have been there quicker, but the

traffic lights delayed us. Alice deftly parked in a stall that was barely large enough, and was out of thecar as soon as it was off.

I got out more slowly, and Alice, bouncing once again, grabbed my hand and pulled me across thestreet and into the store. We stopped inside and Alice looked around speculatively. "Pants or skirts?"

She asked.

I smiled brightly at her, "Pants."

We spent three hours at Macy's and just about every other clothing store in Seattle trying on clothes,laughing, joking, and buying whatever caught our eye and passed each other's inspection. We bought

pants, shirts, skirts, dresses, shoes, and even jewelry.

Alice bought me lunch after we were done looking for clothes and we decided to see a movie. It wasjust after lunch and there was practically no one at the theater where we went so we were all alone in

the showing.

We started out the movie fine, and then we realized how stupid of a movie we had chosen and begantalking to each other. We talked about all sorts of things and even at one point got into a contest of

who could throw the popcorn pieces the farthest across the theater. Alice beat me with a direct hit onthe main character's eye.

Alice finally got bored of just sitting there and we ended up leaving with half of the movie to go. Weleft quickly and went to a nearby Borders. For once I beat Alice into the store in my excitement. I

loved books so much and I wanted as much time as possible to read and browse.

As I made a bee-line for the classical section Alice left me for the first time that day in order to look atthe music selection. I didn't mind because as soon as I found the book I wanted I was reading and far

gone from the present world.



After a while I was brought out of my reading by a male voice speaking behind me, "Excuse me, can Iget through?" I looked up quickly from my book and stumbled backwards, suddenly hyper-aware of

my surroundings.

I had bookshelves on three sides and the man was standing where I had been, right in front of myonly escape, blocking the way. He hadn't looked at me after he had spoken or acknowledged me

again, but he was much too close for my comfort. I backed away as far as I could, but it wasn't farenough and I could feel the panic building up.

Suddenly an ice-cold hand was covering my eyes and Alice was talking softly and quickly into my ear.I struggled to focus solely on her voice. "Bella, it is fine. He just picked out a book and left ± he's gone

now. It's all alright, nothing bad is going to happen, I swear."

I inhaled her scent deeply and nodded carefully. Alice began to move her hand, but stopped when Ipressed lightly on it. "Just another minute." I begged.

She moved her hand back where it was and began talking, distracting me. "I was thinking of gettingyou a CD player ± what kind of music do you like?"

"Debussy is my favorite; I've never really listened to anything else."

"You've never listened to pop or anything else?" I could hear the incredulity in her voice and imaginedher mouth slightly open in shock.

I laughed at the mental image, and feeling fine again, pulled her hand off of my eyes. Her face wasexactly as I had pictured it as. "I never had the chance to."

"Well then," she said, grabbing my hand. "Let me the one to broaden your horizon of music." For theumpteenth time that day she pulled me away to look at something new.

Alice showed me and gave her opinion on countless CDs until I began yawning. She looked abashedand said, "Sorry, I forgot you might be getting tired."

"Its fine, Alice." I assured her, trying to fight another yawn.

She laughed and taking the CDs we had decided on asked, "Is there anything else you want to getwhile we are here?"

"I was looking for a new book to read ± do you have any ideas?"

"Of course!" Alice exclaimed and we spent another half hour discussing and comparing books.

Eventually we made it out of the book store and dropped into Target quickly to get my schoolsupplies, a CD player and an alarm clock. By the time we got out of Target and back into the car I wasdead on my feet. Our day out had forever changed my opinion of shopping, I never knew it could be

this tiring!

As soon as Alice was in the car we were racing down the nearly deserted streets. The lights flashingoutside my window blurred together, making me even more tired. My eyes were closed when Alice

asked quietly, "Bella, why are you so scared of men?"

I peeled open an eyebrow to stare at her. Normally a question like that would make me wary, but Ijust closed my eyes again, too tired to react beyond that. "Because of Phil." I sighed.



Cautiously Alice pressed, "What did he do?"

Dimly I registered her question, but I was already slipping into unconsciousness. Before I was totallyasleep I heard her mutter, "You can't avoid telling me forever ± we do live in the same house." I

smiled slightly at that and then I was fast asleep.

Chapter 7 ± First Day

BPOV

I was sitting in a tree watching the children playing below in the park. They were running and playingwith each and laughing loudly. I was envious of them and I wanted to join, but I knew I couldn't ± I was different, an outsider, the strange one. Their parents told them to leave me alone because I wasrelated to that man. No one liked him, therefore no one liked me and parents didn't want their kids

associating with me.

I sighed, it was stupid, but I was actually jealous of those kids for having parents that cared for their

kids. I could see the parents giving their children treats, playing games, or soothing a screaming child.He never acted that way towards me and I desperately wanted to be a part of it.

But I stayed in that tree, just watching and listening. Never calling out or moving, just watching what I wished was mine.

I woke up suddenly to the shrieking of an alarm clock. Someone had moved me from Alice's car, intomy bed, and even set my alarm. I tried to reach out to turn off the alarm, but instead managed to fall

out of the bed, taking most of the blankets off with me.

Eventually I untangled myself from my blankets and managed to turn off the alarm. I looked aroundat the room still depressed from my dream. My childhood memories were not happy ones and I hated

to remember them.

Briskly I stood up and began making my bed. I knew from experience that the only way I would beable to block the memories was by getting active and doing things to occupy myself.

Once it was neatly made I noticed that the CD player and the CDs Alice had bought me were sitting onmy desk and at the foot of my bed was my already backed backpack. Upon further investigation Ifound that in the closet someone had already organized all of my cloths and put them where they

should be. Someone had also placed a jewelry box on the dresser and put what we had bought into it.Shoes were displayed along a wall in a neat and orderly line.

I laughed out loud at the sight. If I had money, I would have bet it all that Alice was the one whoorganized it all ± she seemed like the kind of person who would be OCD about stuff like this. I

carefully picked out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt to wear and folded my cloths up and put them on the

dresser. I had fallen asleep in the clothes that I had worn yesterday, but someone had removed myshoes and socks. In my search for clothes to wear for the day I realized wryly that none of my oldcloths were there anymore and that my old tennis shoes were missing too. Once again I would bet

Alice did it.

Considerably happier than when I had woken up, I grabbed a coat and my backpack and headed downthe stairs. I dropped my backpack by the door on my way through the living room when Esme walkedout of the kitchen, smiling as always. "Good morning Bella. We're all in the kitchen right now. Come

and eat your breakfast before you leave."



I grinned back at her and followed her into the kitchen. Once inside the door, I stopped dead in mytracks, my happiness and care free attitude out the window. In the room was the entire Cullen family,

including all four men.

They were extremely intimidating up close being so perfect, but beyond that I could sense animmeasurable strength that frightened me. Edward sat rigid at the farthest part of the room, while

Emmett and Jasper sat close to him, talking to each other in low voices, occasionally casting curiousglances my way. Carlisle sat the closest to me, and he smiled at me when I entered.

"Good morning Bella." He said gently, noticing my stillness. "Did you sleep well?"

I averted my eyes and nodded, not trusting myself to speak. Then Alice was at my side, distractingme from everything else. "Hello, Bella! Your food is waiting for you and I have the perfect hair-do for

you today!" She chirped, tugging me over to a chair.

Obediently I say down and automatically began eating, not really tasting it as Alice did my hair. I wasacutely aware of everyone around me, but with Alice close I could keep my feelings mostly under

control. I still flinched when Edward stood up for no reason and stalked out of the room. Even thoughbeing a guy made me afraid of him, I still couldn't help think for a minute that he was absolutely

gorgeous ± more like an angel than anything else.

I quickly cut off that line of thinking. Men could not be trusted; they could only bring grief and pain. Iwolfed down the rest of my food, trying to only think about my movements, so fast that I had to wait

another five minutes to leave the table because Alice hadn't finished yet. I was edgy, but for somereason I kept having a calm feeling wash over me until I was finally calm.

With one last flourish, Alice finished my hair and clapped in joy. "Perfect!" She proclaimed.

I smiled slightly as Esme walked back into the room after taking my dishes. "All right Bella, Alice. Youhad better be leaving soon if you plan to make it to school in time to pick up Bella's schedule and

make sure everything is all right."

The two of us left the kitchen and after picking up our backpacks we gave Esme a hug and left. I wassurprised that Alice didn't drive her Porsche, but I suspected that it would stand out to much in such a

small town high school. I expected that they stood out enough as it was.

We made it to school in ten minutes and Alice quickly pulled into parking place and we both got outinto the cold and misting air. Alice led me to the office quickly and I entered the toasty room

gratefully.

There was a large counter that split the room in half with three desks behind it. At one of the deskswas an older woman with red hair and wearing a purple t-shirt and jeans. She looked up when we

entered and smiled slightly. "Hello, Ms. Cullen ± how can I help you today?"

Alice smiled at her sweetly. "Hello, Mrs. Cope. I'm here with my new sister Bella Swan to pick up herschedule."

Mrs. Cope blinked and noticed me for the first time. She looked me over sidelong as she leafedthrough a large stack of papers. Eventually she found what she wanted at close to the bottom of thepile, turned to me and held it out. I took it from her as she explained, "Here's your schedule, a map,and a paper for your teachers to sign. After all of them return, return it to me." She smiled at me and

said, "I hope you like our school."



I mumbled my thanks and walked out the door with Alice. She glanced over my shoulder at my slip of paper and grinned. "We have all the same classes except for 5th and 6th period. That's good," shegrabbed my arm and propelled me through the now thick crowd of people. "Let's go to English!"

I was increasingly more anxious about all the bodies around me, but the fact that everyone seemed tohave the same exact jacket helped as I couldn't tell if they were guys or girls.

English was taught by tall and balding man named Mr. Mason. I sat next to Alice in the back of theroom and we wrote notes back and forth as she brought me up on what we were doing.

When the bell rang at the end of the period I began packing up my things as a tall, gangly boy walkedbravely over to where Alice and I were. Throughout the entire period and before class people had

been looking at us, but had never approached. I assumed it was Alice's presence that kept them awaysince small town people had a tendency to jump on anything new.

I eyed him warily with fear starting build as he came closer. Alice touched my hand lightly and I madeeye contact and instantly was reassured. Alice wouldn't let anything bad happen. The boy was now

standing across the table from me and smiling he said, "Hello, my name's Eric. What's yours?"

"Bella." I managed to say. Even with Alice being there it would take a long for me to be able to getover my fear.

"Alright, Bella, how do you like Forks so far?" He asked curious.

At that moment I managed to dump my books all over the floor. I bent down quickly to pick them upand was dismayed when he did too. I began shoving what I could reach into my backpack as quicklyas I could, embarrassed now. Eric picked up some of my things before I could and offered them to

me. Reluctantly I reached out my hands and pulled them out of his hands, not caring if he thought itwas rude. I didn't want to have to touch him at all; good things didn't happen when I touched boys.

After that I rushed out of class without another word to Eric, leaving everyone but Alice staring afterme. She was next to me smiling proudly. "Good job! You did well for a first time."

I stared at her blankly and she explained, "With talking to Eric. I mean at least you didn't give intoyour fears and you were still able to function."

I shook my head and just followed as she led me to Government. It was taught by a woman namedMs. Jefferson. It went quickly as did Trigonometry and Spanish. Before I knew it was lunch time and

Alice and I were heading to the cafeteria.

There she led me to the far side of the cafeteria where the rest of her family already sat. Alice sat nextto Rosalie and I sat on the other side of her, the farthest away from the guys. Although we all had

gotten food from the lunch line, I noticed that I was the only one who ate. No one else ate anythingduring lunch, all of their trays ended up in the garbage without anything being eaten. I didn't

comment but tucked it away to think about later.

When the bell rang Alice showed me where the biology class was and left with a cheery wave. Iwalked hesitantly into the classroom scared at having to face this alone.

The first thing I saw when I entered the classroom was Edward sitting at a desk with the only openseat next to him and I suddenly felt relieved. I stopped where I was, shocked at myself. I had neverbeen happy or relieved to see a guy before, but for some reason I was only slightly fearful of him, it

was mostly overwhelmed by the relief.



Edward suddenly looked up and made eye contact with me and I looked away feeling myself start toblush. I stumbled up to the front of the room and pulled myself through another introduction to

another man - his name was Mr. Banner ± before heading back and sitting next to Edward.

As Mr. Banner started the class I glanced at him through my hair. He was sitting stiffly on his chairwhich was as far from me as he could get, which coincidentally was the position I was in. I laughedsoftly so no one would hear me, but Edward still looked at me sharply as if wondering why I was

laughing.

We just sat looking at looking at each other for who knows how long when Mr. Banner called onEdward. "Mr. Cullen, could you answer that for the class?"

Edward tor his eyes from me and answered evenly as I focused on breathing evenly. I had no ideawhat had just happened and my feelings were all jumbled up inside of me making it hard for me to

think.

I didn't really process anything else that happened through the rest of class, but I had learned someof it in a previous class so it didn't matter. When the bell rang Edward waited for me to pack up mybag. As I was doing so, a boy began approaching with a friendly look on his face, but Edward glared

menacingly at him and he quickly veered off and went in a different direction.

I giggled softly and once again Edward seemed to hear me and this time when he looked at me acorner of his mouth twitched in a small smile. Without a word we stood up and walked together out of the door. I made sure to keep a good distance between us, but I actually felt ok around him. No fear,

no anxiety. It was a novelty and I actually enjoyed it a little.

Somehow he already knew what my next class was because he wordlessly led me to the gym and leftme at the door to the gym with one last searching look. Then he was gone and I was left to fend for

myself in PE.

I walked into the gym slightly dazed and thoroughly confused at what he happened. Thankfully theteacher just handed me a uniform and had me sit and watch everyone else. Tomorrow I would suit up

and participate, something I was not looking forward to.

When PE was done, I walked out of the gym and was pleasantly surprised to see Edward standing tothe side of the door. I walked past him and he easily fell into step beside me. Together we walked

silently to the office so I could return the paper that Mrs. Cope needed back. Since she wasn't at herdesk I just left the slip on top of her keyboard and exited hurriedly, I didn't feel like talking to anyone

else at the school.

I went outside to find Alice and Edward standing next to each other talking to quickly and too low forme to hear and when I got closer they both stopped talking. Alice turned and smiled at me asking,

"How was your afternoon Bella?"

I shrugged. "Nothing special happened." I involuntarily glanced at Edward and then away, but Alicestill saw.

Nothing more was said as Alice and I walked to her car and Edward walked to his four stalls over withthe rest of the family crowded around it, waiting for him. I got in the car with Alice and we quickly

joined the line of cars exiting the parking lot. With Alice's fast driving we made it home in ten minutesand we were in the house when Edward pulled up.

Esme was in the living room reading and when we entered she looked up smiling. "How was your firstday of school Bella?"



I smiled back and said, "It was okay. I have all the same classes but two with Alice, which is reallynice." I paused, then said. "Esme, would it be okay if you taught me how to cook? I mean, I love your

cooking and I was just wondering if you could teach me to cook like that since I don't know how." Iblushed and looked down, embarrassed.

Esme's smile brightened considerably, "Of course Bella, I would be happy to teach you." She set downher book and headed into the kitchen calling, "What would you like to learn first?"

We spent two hours together, Esme teaching and doing things perfectly while I messed up and spilledthings. But when we were done, we had chili and cornbread made. Esme beamed at me, "Good job

Bella! You did well for your first time."

I smiled crookedly. "I spilled half of it while we were making it though."

"You'll get better with practice." Esme promised as she washed dishes. "If you're full you can coverthat and stick it in the fridge for later."

"What about everyone else, aren't they going to eat?" I asked

Esme busied herself and said, "They'll eat later."

I raised an eyebrow but didn't ask. I put the food in the fridge and went up to my room to do myhomework. There wasn't that much so I finished quickly and was reading my new book when therewas a soft knock on the door. I opened it curiously, if it was Alice I was sure she would have just

walked in. I was shocked to find Edward standing there nervously.

He shifted back when I opened the door and then smiled crookedly, making me breathless. He offereda book I hadn't noticed before. Carefully I took it and to see it was Romeo and Juliet. I looked up ashe said, "I thought you might like this book, I mean we have to read for class anyways and I just

thought you would like a copy of it."

I blushed and looked down. "Thank you." I murmured.

When I looked up I saw that he was staring at me with an unfathomable expression ± there wasconfusion, relief, and something else that made me slightly fearful. He got a hold of himself and said,

"Well, goodnight Bella."

"'Night Edward." I said and softly shut the door. I stood with my back against the door for a longmoment thinking of his perfect face and his musical voice.

Finally I roused myself and got ready for bed. I slipped out of my room and took a fast shower andwent back to my room holding my brush in one hand. I sat on my bed and brushed out my hair slowly

as I thought.

Edward was so beautiful and perfect, but the most amazing thing was that I didn't feel fearful aroundhim. My mind was saying that I should keep my distance and that men could not be trusted, but my

heart wanted to trust Edward and get to know him better.

I sighed in frustration and put down the brush on my nightstand and turned on my alarm. I quicklygot up and turned off my light and climbed into bed, but I couldn't sleep. Finally I turned on the lightnext to my bed and pulled out Romeo and Juliet. I curled up under my blankets and began to read. I

finally fell asleep during the second scene with my hand still holding the book open.



Chapter 8 ± Romeo and Juliet

EPOV

When Bella closed the door I sighed softly and glided downstairs. I don't know why, but I found it hardto Bella at times, not being to read her thoughts did not help. I couldn't tell how she really felt about

things since I was restricted to only knowing what she told me. I could finally sympathize witheveryone else and their not being able to read people's thoughts.

I sat down at my piano and ran my hand softly along the keys. I closed my eyes and began torandomly play as I thought. My life before she had come was straight forwarded and simple, but Bella

was a mystery and she brought complexity back into my like. At first all I could think of was herblood, but I guess being exposed to it constantly had made it more bearable.

As I thought about Bella more and more the random notes I was playing began to form and evolveinto a song, a lullaby. It was sweet and childlike with a hint of mystery and fun. Yet under it all it gavethe sense of a deep, unspoken sadness. It was extremely complex, but it sounded so simple, so much

like a child. It fit Bella perfectly.

It was midnight before I had worked the song completely our and had it written down on manuscriptpaper. I was playing through the song one last time when I heard Bella's voice from upstairs. I was ather door in an instance afraid that it was another nightmare.

It was silent for a minute and I was about to leave when she spoke again. "Romeo, Romeo. Whereforeart thou Romeo?" I had to bite my lip in order to stop myself from laughing out loud.

Slowly I opened the door and slipped into her room, shutting the door silently behind me. Bella wasasleep with her bedside lamp still on and Romeo and Juliet open in her hand. I crept over, sat down

next to her bed, and slipped the book out of her hand. She was just starting the balcony scene whereRomeo would woe Juliet into marrying him.

Bella stirred again and muttered 'Romeo' again. On an impulse I began reading softly out of the book,and her face relaxed. I read the rest of the book out loud as Bella slept peacefully next to me. When I

finished I set the book on her nightstand and turned off the light, but I could still see her clearly.

Her face was peaceful and serene in sleep without any of the worry, fear or tension that was normallythere. The only time she had looked more beautiful to me was when I had seen her smiling with Alice.I wished there was a way I could help her to smile more, her face was better suited to smiling than to

the normal grim face she had.

As if she heard my mental request Bella smiled softly and murmured, "Thank you Romeo." Once againI fought down the urge to laugh out loud ± in her dreams it was Romeo who had read to her.

Softly I reached out a brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes and leaned in and said softly, "Yourwelcome, Juliet." Gently I kissed her forehead.

I quickly pulled back, appalled at myself. I stood up and was out of the room with the door shutbehind me in a few seconds. I sped up to my room and shut the door behind myself. I stared blindly

out my window at the forest beyond.

I couldn't believe I had just kissed that girl, she was a human and on top of that she was afraid of men! I had managed to get over most of the attraction of her scent, but now this had come up. I hada mixture of feelings swirling around inside of me that I couldn't even begin to understand. They were

so human and it had been such a long time since I had been human and I didn't even rememberfeeling most of these emotions.



In what seemed like a short amount of time Alice appeared at my elbow and spoke softly, "It's timefor school Edward and Esme would like you to be downstairs when Bella comes to eat." I nodded myhead noticing that it was light outside and then Alice seemed to disappear as she sped downstairs.

More slowly I picked up my backpack and walked out of my room, downstairs and into dining roomstill wrapped up in my thoughts. As I walked into the room Emmett simultaneously punching me in the

stomach and putting me in a headlock jerked me out of my thoughts suddenly.

I growled at him and easily flipped him over my shoulder so he ended up on his back on the floor.Emmett was the strongest of all of us but I had found ways to beat him without getting into a contestof whose strongest ± I usually resorted to what he called 'cheap tricks' but hey, they worked well in

getting him off my back.

He was up in an instant and was pulling back to punch me again when Esme's voice cracked outsharply, "Boys! Behave yourselves! If you want to fight go someplace where we can't hear you and

you aren't going to destroy the furniture!"

We both straightened at the same time and Emmett smiled easily. "Don't worry Esme, we were justplaying. It's no big deal." He stretched luxuriously and walked back over to where Rosalie sat reading

a magazine and began playing with her hair. Alice and Jasper were sitting together holding hands

without saying anything. They didn't need to talk to tell each other things.

I sighed and turned to leave and I would have run right into Bella if I didn't catch myself at the lastmoment. She was dressed in a tan skirt and a light blue blouse with her nose in book ± Romeo and

Juliet ironically.

Bella bumped into me softly, engrossed in her book and looked up distracted. "Sorry about that." Shesaid and then she turned a bright pink as she noticed it was me. She ducked her head down andhurried past me to the table. I smiled to myself and walked out of the room feeling much better.

I went and sat in my car listening to the radio until everyone was ready to go. Rosalie, Emmett andJasper all got into my car and I was immediately driving to school, not bothering to wait for Bella and

Alice to take off.

We reached school quickly and as usual separated to our different classes without a word to eachother. The first four periods of the day drug on as I sat and listened to the same things I had been

hearing for the past ninety years.

When fourth period finally ended I was the first person out of the classroom. I was excited for lunchsimply because during it I could be around Bella.

I was the first one in my family to get to the lunchroom so I grabbed some random food out of theline and sat down in our normal spot. Soon they all arrived, including Bella and they filled in the spotsaround me. Today Bella sat next to me, with Alice and Jasper directly across from me and Emmett and

Rosalie on my other side.

Suddenly someone's thoughts became louder than the rest, forcing me to listen. With a grimace Irealized that it was Mike Newton shouting. 'M an that girl is hot! Why does she have to sit with the

Cullen¶s every day? I 'd be able to talk to her if she wasn't always around them!' I almost laughed outloud but I was immediately sobered by his next thoughts. 'Wait, we both have sixth period together

without any of the Cullen¶s there! I can talk to her then!'

Some emotion I couldn't identify swelled up inside of me overwhelming me. Jasper's thought providedthe answer though. 'That's jealousy E dward. Now, why would you be feeling jealous, and so strongly

too?'



I didn't bother to deign him with an answer but instead tried to get rid of the feeling. I had no reasonto be feeling jealous that Mike Newton had a class with Bella that I didn't, but I still did.

"Edward," Bella said hesitantly. I whipped my head around quickly making her flinch back slightly butshe recovered quickly and continued, "I just wanted to thank you again for the book ± I just finished it

and I enjoyed it a lot." She moved her hand and I noticed that she was holding it.

I couldn't help it; I smiled crookedly at her. How could I be jealous of Mike when I had right now totalk with her? I noticed wryly that Bella's heart sped up as I said, "I'm glad you liked it Bella. What

was your favorite part?"

We spent the rest of lunch discussing the book and were still talking when we went to Biology. Theclosed and cramped classroom amplified Bella's scent, but somehow I was able to bear it and keep

talking to Bella. When Mr. Banner started the class we started writing notes back forth to each other.

I was amazed at how much I was enjoying this conversation ± usually conversations couldn't keep myfull attention since I could hear the person's real thoughts, but I couldn't help but get engrossed in myconversation with Bella. At the moment we were talking ± well, debating actually ± about what kind of love we thought Romeo and Juliet shared. Bella was convinced that it was true love but I believed that

it was just a puppy love and wouldn't have lasted.

When I was writing my newest response my thoughts were interrupted by Mr. Banner's angrythoughts. 'Cullen is distracting the new girl! And writing notes too! Just because he already knows thisdoesn't mean he should distract M iss Swan from the lesson!' I heard his footsteps coming my way andI swiftly slid the paper off our desk and pulled out my notebook with my already prepared notes in it.

Bella looked up confused when the paper disappeared just when Mr. Banner stood in front of our desk.He scowled at the two of us. "Miss Swan, Mr. Cullen. Have you answered the question yet?"

I smiled politely at him. "Yes Mr. Banner we did." I showed him the notebook. "We just finished it if you would like to check it."

He snatched it from my hand and peered at it trying to find something wrong with my answer. I haddone the notes the day he had made his lesson plan so it was perfect and I knew he wouldn't find

anything wrong with it. I winked at Bella and she blushed slightly.

I turned back as Mr. Banner handed back my notebook grudgingly. "It's fine," was all he gruntedbefore he walked away to bug someone else. I slipped the note back out and we continued to write

back and forth though more carefully this time.

When the bell rang I stood up to escort Bella to PE. We walked silently for all was had been writingnotes for the past hour or so. She left me with a small smile and walked into the gym.

I turned away to head to my English class when I was suddenly distracted by a vision Alice wasshowing me. It showed Bella playing basketball in PE, and tripping over her feet. She landed with acrash and her ankle twisted beneath her. She was quickly surrounded but I could still see her clearly

as Mike Newton reached down to help her stand up to take her to the nurse. Bella shied away fromhim the fear plain in her eyes, but he didn't notice. Once again he reached down and succeeded inpulling her up. The last thing I saw was Bella's face white with uncontrollable fear as she started to

struggle against Mike's hold.

I whipped around about to rush into the gym to stop it when Alice practically began shrieking at me inher thoughts. ' E dward calm down! Stop right there, this won¶t be happening till around the end of the

period. I f you're going to do anything you need to stay calm and wait until the right time.'



I cursed quietly and slid back into the shadows of the gym. I stared hard at the door and settled downto wait and listen till the time was right.

BPOV

I walked dazedly into the locker room to change confused at all that had happened. Edward had acted

so coldly towards me yesterday, but then he had turned around and given me the book and we hadhad such a great conversation.

My thoughts were interrupted by a tall girl introducing herself. "Hi, my name is Angela."

I blinked confused for a moment and then said belatedly, "My name is Bella."

Angela smiled softly and told me, "I'm here to get you a PE suit ± what size do you wear?"

She quickly got me a suit and showed me where I would store it in between classes and then left mewith a nod. I picked up that she was very shy and really only talked to me because she had been

appointed as the teacher's aide.

I got dressed slowly and dreading what was to come trudged out into the gym with everyone else.Yesterday they had been playing basketball and with a sinking gut I realized that that was still the unitwe were on. The teacher, Coach Clapp divided us into two groups and then proceeded to choose the

first five people in line. I realized abruptly that I would be in the second team to play.

I watched the teams play with a sense of trepidation filling me. The people playing made it look soeasy and harmless, but someone was bound to get hurt if I had to play.

Before I knew it the first round was over and it was my turn to step on the court trailing behind fourother people. One of the guys hung back and with a large smile introduced himself. "Hi, my name is

Mike."

"Bella." I mumbled suddenly wishing I was playing basketball than having to talk to him.

Mike though seemed oblivious of my discomfort. "Do you like playing basketball, Bella?"

I shook my head and was spared any further discussion by Coach Clapp starting the game. Ireluctantly began running, but it was better than talking to a guy. Everything was fine for a couple

minutes, but then Mike threw the ball to me. I'm sure he was just trying to be nice and get meinvolved, but that was the wrong thing to do.

The ball glanced off my fingers and fell at my feet. For the moments I had to focus on the oncomingball, I had forgotten to coordinate my running feet and I fell spectacularly. As my feet got caught on

one another, I rolled over the basketball pushing it into someone else's feet and managing tosomersault head over heels. Not surprisingly my left foot got too entangled and I heard a loud pop

coming from my foot as pain shot up my leg.

Instantly I was surrounded by people as they tried to see what had happened. Foremost in the groupwas Mike. He was kneeling next to me fretting.

"Oh, I shouldn't have thrown you the ball! I'm so sorry Bella!" He belatedly noticed me clutching byfoot. "What wrong with your foot Bella?"

I didn't bother to say anything to him because I was so overwhelmed with pain and fear. The pain Icould live with ± I'd endured enough of it that I could probably still walk around if I wanted ± but with



all the people surrounding me and on top of that Mike was about to touch me, I was about ready toscream.

Suddenly Coach Clapp was moving everyone away to give me breathing space. "What happened?" Heasked Mike.

"I threw her the ball Coach, but she missed and tripped. She's hurt her ankle, but I'm not sure if thatis all that is hurt." Mike said frantically.

"Alright, we need to move her off the court. Newton, help her stand up and move to the sidelines."Coach grunted.

I stared at him and Mike in alarm as he bent closer to pick me up. Swiftly I scooted away from Mikelooking around desperately for an escape. I knew in my condition I wouldn't able to get very far if I

stood up and I had been down too long to convince them that it was nothing. I stared in fear as Mikemoved closer once again to pick me up. I felt a scream building up inside of me as I dimly registered

the gym door slamming shut.

Right before Mike touched me he was shoved back and I was shocked to see Edward glaring at him

menacingly. Mike looked shocked for a minute and then he looked angry and confused. Everyone'sattention was fixed on Edward so I took the opportunity to slide far away from Mike.

"Cullen?" Coach Clapp and Mike exclaimed in unison.

"Excuse me Coach." Edward explained smoothly with none of the anger I could see in his eyes in hisvoice. "I was just here to tell Bella that we have to go home early so I will take her to my father."

Mike stared at him flabbergasted now as Coach Clapp blinked slightly confused. "Alright Cullen. Takeher to your father. We think she injured her ankle so be careful of it." He cautioned.

Edward nodded as he moved slowly closer to me. "Yes sir." He turned to face me began to reach outhesitantly towards me, clearly not trying to frighten me. He began to murmur softly so only I could

hear. "It's okay Bella, I'm not going to hurt you. All I want to do is take you home so you can haveyour ankle fixed. Is it okay that I pick you up?"

I tensed slightly at the thought of a man touching me, but then I looked into his eyes. His eyes were abeautiful gold color and they melted my will. I nodded mutely and stretched out my arms toward himlike a small child to a parent. Cautiously he picked me up and cradled me softly against his chest as I

wrapped my arms around his neck.

Before I could see anyone's face Edward turned and walked swiftly from the gym and outside. Heheaded straight to the parking lot and to his car without a pause and I was surprised to see Alice

standing tensely next to his car.

She opened the passenger door without a word and Edward slid into the seat still holding me gingerly.

Alice shut the door, was around the car and in the driver¶s seat faster than I thought possible startingthe car. As she pulled out of the parking lot she joked lightly, "I guess PE is not your thing, eh Bella?"

I grunted and gritted my teeth. Edward stared nervously at me, "Are you okay Bella? What all hurts?"

I gritted my teeth as I said, "I'm fine, I just turned my ankle funny. I don't need to see Carlisle, I'll befine."



He stared pointedly at my hands which were once again clutching my ankle and retorted skeptically, "Iseriously doubt that you are fine, besides," he paused as he stepped out of the car. "We are already

here."

An hour later I was stretched out in the back of Edward's car with my left foot held in his cold hands.Carlisle had said that it was dislocated and that they would just have to pop it back into place andthen let me rest it for a bit. He told me this and then he left the room and Edward and Alice began totalk to me and distract me. Somewhere in our conversation Carlisle silently came back in and popped

my ankle back into place before I had even realized he was there.

I had grimaced from the pain but I had stopped myself from letting any sound out of a habit I had hadfor a while now. Carlisle had then smiled at me and said in what I thought was too cheerful a voice,

"There, that wasn't too bad, was it?" I had grunted then causing all of them to laugh.

Carlisle had then thought it okay for me to go home as long as I didn't put very much weight on myankle. Thinking back I realized that as soon as my ankle was in place again Carlisle had pulled his

hands away and stepped back to give me my space. Tears came to my eyes at his consideration formy feelings but I blinked them back.

It had been a while since I had to deal with pain so I blamed it on my body going into shock, but Ididn't fool myself. I was touched that Carlisle had respected my need of space and dislike of men andonly touched me when it was absolutely necessary. It was then that I remembered that Edward hadasked before he had held me both in the gym and when he had helped me out of the hospital. Maybe

not all men were like Phil«

Suddenly Edward's voice broke through my thoughts, "What's on your mind Bella?"

I blinked at him dazzled by his stare for a moment but quickly averted my eyes and shrugged."Nothing important," I hesitated and then blurted, "Thank for asking before you touched me today ±

no one has done that for me before." I blushed profusely and stared out the window determined not tomake eye-contact.

Edward was puzzled but he didn't press. "You¶re welcome." Was all he said but it was all I needed tohear. Content for the first time in the presence of a guy, I settled into a more comfortable position and

quickly fell asleep.

Chapter 9 - Hope

BPOV

That night was pure torture.

In the middle of the night I woke up crying and screaming. I immediately noticed that Edward wasthere sitting next to my bed and he tried to comfort me, but the last day had been too much too fast.I flung myself back from him and ended up sprawled on my back on the floor. Quickly I scooted over

to the corner and covered my eyes.

"Please," I sobbed. "Please just leave me alone."



I didn't see his reaction but soon Alice was in front of me trying to pry my hands off of my eyes."Bella," she crooned softly. "Bella it's all okay Edward won't harm you ± he's just here to try and help

you." Gently she gathered me into her cold arms and rocked me back and forth.

I clung to her crying like a child. "I can't trust him!" I managed to choke out between sobs. "I can'ttrust any of them! They are all monsters and I hate them!"

Alice just kept rocking as she breathed, "Why is it that you hate them so much Bella?"

I just bit my lip and shock my head. I pulled myself from her grasp and buried my head into myknees, muffling my crying. I couldn't tell her, she would just start to hate me too and think me filthy.

Suddenly Esme was there also, and began repeating the same thing ± it would be alright, no onewould hurt me and though they didn't know it, saying those simple words only made it worse. I hadpeople telling me my entire life that it 'was okay' or things will get better. But they had lied to me

every time.

Suddenly Alice took my hands off of my ears and looking me in the eye said, "Bella, we are not lyingto you ± it will get better I promise." When I still shook my head at her, she continued more quietly. "I

promise you Bella ± I know from experience. As you know I am adopted too and when I was a littlegirl I lived with my real family, but my parents thought I was strange because I would predict whatwas to come. I freaked them out and my father started beating me thing he could 'get it out of my

system'. It was terrible and I hated every minute of it.

"Then I was separated from my parents and after traveling around for a little while I came here toEsme and Carlisle. At first I was worried about what would go on, but slowly they showed me that not

everyone is cruel like my parents or like Phil ± they loved me for who I was, not for anything Ipretended to be." By this time I had stopped crying. I couldn't believe my ears ± bright, happy Alicewas once abused by her father. Yet here she was, trusting and self-confident, everything I wished I

was.

Alice sensing that she had sensing that I was calming down went on with a small laugh, "You knowwhat Bella? For many years I hated my parents for being so cruel to me but I realized if they hadn't

done those things then I wouldn't have been able to be with Carlisle, Esme and the family that I havenow. Now, this doesn't justify what my parents did," she warned, "but I realized that I could forgive

them and that I could go on with my life."

All I could was stare in amazement at Alice. Suddenly I started crying again, but it wasn't in fear oranger ± for the first time I was crying because I had hope. I threw my arms around Alice and

whispered softly, "Thank you Alice, thank you for telling me."

Alice laughed and hugged me back as Esme beamed at us. "You're welcome, Bella." Then she was allbusiness. "Now, if you think you can go back to sleep I'll leave you to do so, otherwise I can sit in

here with you again till you are all right."

I let go of her and glanced down as I asked shyly, "Could stay with me just for a little longer?"

Alice patted my hand, "Just let me grab go grab something really fast and I'll be back." I nodded andshe left as did Esme after giving me one last hug.

I watched them go and was startled when I saw Edward standing stiffly in the hall. His face wascreased with worry and I suddenly recalled what I had said to him and was instantly ashamed and Iknew I needed to apologize to him. But as soon as I began moving to get off the floor he jerked in

surprise and disappeared. I blinked in shock and quickly walked out of my room. Edward was



nowherearound but I didn't want to give up. I dimly remembered something Alice said about Edwardhaving the room on the third floor and it having the best view in the house.

Carefully I treaded up the stairs trying not to make too much noise in case I woke anyone else up. Ifinally reached the top floor and seeing that his light was on from under his door I timidly knocked. Iheard soft footsteps approaching and then the door opened slowly and he was standing there with a

wary and confused look on his face.

Instantly I blushed crimson and ducked my head, but I still murmured softly, "I'm sorry Edward."

I glanced up quick enough to see him blink as he became even more confused. I took a deep breathand went on, "For being so rude and pushing you away."

He cocked an eyebrow at me. "It's not your fault that you have a bad impression of men«"

I cut him off, asserting myself. "Yes it is my fault, Edward. I let my hate for Phil and what happened tome cloud what was around me. Now I know that there are other men out there like him but I knowthat you aren't and that I shouldn't take it on you." By the end of my declaration I was staring him

dead in the eye determinedly.

He looked shocked for a brief moment but then he smiled crookedly. "Alright then, your apology isaccepted ± don't worry about it anymore, okay?"

I smiled back in response and turned to go back to my room when Edward stopped me with a lighttouch on the hand. I flinched involuntarily and then laughed sheepishly. "I guess figuring that out and

actually applying it will be something totally different."

Edward smiled in response but I noticed his eyes were serious. Slowly he began, "Bella," he took abreath and then shook his head.

"Yes?"

"It's nothing ± sweet dreams Bella." With that he smiled one last time and went back into his room,shutting the door behind him.

"Bella?" Alice's voice came floating up the stairs sounding slightly worried.

I turned and hurried down the stairs as fast as I could trying to hush her, "Alice, quiet! I don't wantanyone else to be woken up because of me."

She laughed, "Don't worry about it ± we won't wake anyone up. They aren't sleeping anyways."

"How late is it? It must be 2 or 3 in the morning at least?" I was extremely confused.

Alice tensed up a little and glancing around, her eyes lighted on my left foot and she hissed insympathy. My eyes shot down to my ankle and I to gasped ± because of my preoccupation I had

forgotten about having hurt my ankle and had just ignored the pain like I had taught myself. It hadswelled to the size of a tennis ball and was an array of blue and black bruises.

"Whoops." I said.

"Ah, yah! ± whoops is right! How can you still be alright ± here lean on me and we'll get you sittingdown!" Alice fretted.



I allowed her to lead me into my room and to the bed laughing, "It's not that bad ± it looks a lot worsethan it actually is. I'm not that fragile!"

"Mm-hmm." She looked skeptical. "Well, I'm not so sure. Besides, even if it is 'fine'" she made quotesin the air when she said that, "Carlisle still said you should rest it! So if you won't listen to me, listen

to him."

"Yeah, yeah, only because its doctor's orders though!" I teased as I laid back on my bed hitting thepillow with a satisfying thump. I pulled the covers over myself and curled myself into a ball,

comfortable and warm. Alice got up, turned off the light, then came back and stretched out at the endof my bed where there was a large, open space.

It was quiet for a few minutes until Alice suddenly spoke, musing aloud. "I'm going to guess thattoday wasn't your first time hurting yourself, am I right?" She looked over and I nodded, resigned. "If

that is the case, then we should probably take you out of PE."

"But isn't it required for graduation?"

"Yeah it is, but I think that we could get you into home study."

"What would I do for home study that is less dangerous than regular PE?" I asked, curious but feelinga glimmer of hope of getting out of more pain and at least public humiliation.

"You could do hiking instead." Alice volunteered. "There are tons of different trails around here andclose by that you could go to. I would go with you of course and maybe some of the others, but that

way you can take it at your pace hopefully lessening your injuries."

I sat and thought about it for a minute, then slowly a grin spread across my face. "That soundsamazing."

Alice laughed at my excitement. "I'm glad you like the idea. The only thing is what would you want toreplace that period with? There are computer classes, creative writing, you could TA I guess«"

I cut in suddenly shy as she trailed off. "Alice, are there any music classes available?"

"Oh yeah, there is an orchestra, band and choir class available." She looked at me, curious. "Do youplay an instrument?"

I shook my head adamantly, but then amended. "I don't play a band or orchestra instrument, but Iplay the piano a little and sing. I love to do both, but I'm not very good at piano because I didn't

usually have an opportunity to practice."

Alice laughed, surprising me. "We have to tell Edward that ± he plays all the time. If you wanted youcould practice with his piano and I'm sure if you asked he would teach you."

"He plays!"

"Yep, you usually plays late at night since, as he puts it, that is when inspiration always strikes."

I looked at her fascinated. "Inspiration? Do you mean he composes as well as plays?" Alice nodded herhead, smiling at my interest. "Wow." I breathed. "Now I really want to hear him play."



I was about ready to get out of my bed and see if he was playing right now when Alice pushed meback on the bed. "Bella," she scolded. "It is three in the morning and there is still school today ± you

need to go to sleep. You can ask Edward to play for you in the morning. Now go to bed."

I glanced at my clock to see she was right and flopped back grumbling. "Great, you get me all excitedabout him playing and then you go and tell me I can't hear him. Some friend you are."

Alice snorted. "I am a great friend, thank you very much. I'm making sure you are rested enough thatwhen he does play you don't fall asleep in the middle because you were still tired and should've been

asleep."

Still grumbling quietly I acquiesced I settled deeper under the covers. In the comfortable silence thatpermeated the room, thoughts of the day swirled in my head. I had pushed myself away from Mike inPE, but less than a minute later I had let Edward pick me up and carry me. Later I had been alright

with Edward cradling me in his arms while we were driving home.

Home, I thought suddenly. Never before had I consider a place my home, yet I had only been herethree full days and I thought of this huge house as home. But as I considered it, this wasn't home

because it was larger and nicer than any place I had been before, no, what made it home was Esmeand Alice. They had accepted me right off, helped me, and understood that I needed some space while

I needed their affection and support. Like Edward, I realized abruptly.

Edward hadn't questioned me or gotten angry at my reactions but seemed to understand that while Idid not like being physically close to him I enjoyed talking to him and spending time in his company.

As I drifted back to sleep I understood something that I had never felt before. The Cullen¶s were notgoing to be just another foster family to me like the others were. No, Esme was already my mother,Alice my sister, and I could almost appreciate Edward as a friend at least. If these Cullen¶s were like

this than I felt that maybe, just maybe, I could learn to appreciate the other members of the family aswell. Maybe there was hope for me yet.

overcoming fears

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