Positive Guidance

Green, Blue, Purple, Gold, Kinder & MDO

What is Positive Guidance?

Positive guidance is teaching valuable social and life skills. It involves deciding what you will do and then kindly and firmly follow through, rather than expecting your child to “behave”.

Building blocks of Positive Guidance

– Mutual respect

– Understanding the belief behind behavior

– Effective communication

– Understanding a child’s world

– Focusing on solutions

Implementing Positive Guidance in the classroom – Get children involved

– Creating routines

– Using limited choices

– Providing opportunities to help

– Teach respect by being respectful

– Use your sense of humor

– Get into a child’s world

– Say what you mean, and then follow through with kindness and firmness

– Be patient

– Act, don’t talk and supervise carefully

– Accept and appreciate your child’s uniqueness

My Kids Just Don’t Listen… Children don’t listen because:

– Adults yell, lecture, or nag, which doesn’t invite listening

– Adults don’t ask children what they should not be doing, but tell them

– Adults set up power struggles that make winning more important than cooperating

– The children are “programmed” by their instinct toward development to explore and the adult doesn’t want them to.

– The children cannot comply with a request because it demands social skills or thinking skills that have not yet developed

– Children don’t have the same priorities as adults

– Adults don’t listen to children

What do YOU want for your children?

– Self-discipline

– Decision-making skills

– Cooperation skills

– Creativity

– Values

– Leadership skills

– Empathy/caring

– Thinking skills

– Problem solving skills

– Self-confidence

– Social skills

– Respect for self and others

– Tolerance

– Communication skills

Understanding Developmental

Appropriateness

A Sense of Initiative – Ages two through six herald the development of a sense of initiative, meaning

that it is a child’s job to explore and experiment.

– Can you imagine how confusing it is to a child to be punished for what they are developmentally programmed to do?

– Do I listen to my teachers, or do I follow my drive to develop autonomy and initiative by exploring?

– Your efforts to gain a child’s cooperation should be kind and firm instead of controlling and/or punitive

Preschoolers see the world as an exciting and

fascinating place, especially as they develop more

initiative and a greater physical and intellectual

capacity to explore.

What does the world look like when you’re less than 3ft tall?

– Get down on your knees and take a look around

– Understanding a young child’s physical perspective and limitations can help teachers fit the environment to a child’s abilities.

Understanding Temperament

Working on goodness of fit

What is Goodness of Fit?

– It is the understanding of a child’s temperament and the willingness to work with that child to encourage healthy development.

– This doesn’t mean saying, “Oh well, that’s just the way this child is.” It is an invitation to help a child develop acceptable behavior and skills

The Nine Temperaments Activity Level A child’s level of motor activity and the proportion of active and inactive periods.

Rhythmicity The predictability of biological functions, such as hunger, sleeping, and bowel movements.

Initial Response The way a child reacts to new situation, such as new food, toy, place, or person.

Adaptability How a child reacts to a new situation over time.

Sensory Threshold Child’s sensitivity to physical sensation and stimulation Quality of Mood The way a child reacts to life…pleasure and acceptance or finding fault in everything

Intensity of Reactions Children react to stimuli with varying degrees of intensity

Distractibility The way in which an outside stimulus interferes with a child’s present behavior and its willingness (or unwillingness) to be diverted

Persistence & Attention Span

A child’s willingness to pursue an activity in the face of obstacles or difficulties; attention span describes the length of time he will pursue an activity without interruption

Tell me the truth… – Children are not born understanding the difference

between truth and lies, and they will not automatically value honesty

– Most children lie from time to time. Mistakes are inevitable and if they’re viewed as opportunities rather than failures, they’re not as scary

How do we respond to lying? – Focus on solutions rather than on blame. Instead of asking who made the mess,

ask if the child needs help cleaning it up or ask if the child has ideas about how to solve the problem

– When you suspect a lie, state it: “that sounds like a story to me. I wonder what the truth is”

– Empathize with a child. Ask if he/she feels scared to admit to making a mess.

– Explain the need to accept responsibility for our actions: “we all make mistakes, but blaming others does not take away responsibility from what we did”

– Talk about the meaning of trust. Help a child see the connection between telling the truth and having others trust what he/she says

The Messages of Misbehavior

What is misbehavior? – We sometimes view any atypical behavior as

misbehavior.

– Children who feel discouraged about their ability to belong are more likely to misbehave

The child’s goal is:

If the teacher feels:

And tends to react by:

And if the child’s response is:

The belief behind the child’s behavior

is:Coded

messages:

Teacher proactive and empowering

responses include:

Undue attention(to keep others busy or to get special service)

• Annoyed• Irritated• Worried• Guilty

• Reminding • Coaxing • Doing things

for the children

• Stops temporarily, but later resumes same or another disturbing behavior

• I count (belong) only when I’m being noticed or getting special treatment

Notice me- involve me usefully

Misguided Power (to be boss)

• Challenged• Threatened• Defeated

• Fighting • Giving in

• Intensifies behavior • Defiant compliance

• I belong only when I’m boss or in control. You can’t make me

Let me help- give me choices

Revenge (to get even)

• Hurt • Disappointed• Disbelieving

• Retaliating• Getting even

• Retaliates • Intensifies • Escalates other

behavior

• I don’t think I belong so I’ll hurt others as I feel hurt

I’m hurting- validate my feelings

Assumed Inadequacy(to give up and be left alone)

• Despair • Hopeless• Helpless• Inadequate

• Giving up• Doing for • over helping

• Retreats further • Passive • No improvement • No response

• I can’t belong because I’m not perfect. I’m helpless and unable; no use in trying

Don’t give up on me- show me a small step

Mistaken Goal Chart

Aggressive Behavior in the Classroom

What are some behaviors you have seen in your classroom?

How do we stop violent behavior?

– Decide what you will do

– Hold the child kindly and firmly

– Share your feelings

– Use a positive “time-out”

– Ask curiosity questions

– Offer limited choices

Routines: Everyday Magic

Routines…Involving children in the creation of routines is a great way to help them maintain their sense of self and their desire to cooperate

– Issuing commands often invites resistance from children.

How would you feel if someone was always telling you what to do, how to do it, and when to do it?

– Let the routine become the “boss”

Remember, a routine chart is not for rewards or stickers; it is simply a map to help the children remember what comes next.

Visual Schedule

– Invite the children to help you come up with a classroom schedule

– Take pictures of the children while they do every activity and put them on the schedule

– Place the schedule where it is easy to see

– Choose a character from the classroom theme and name it the “schedule leader“

– “What is next on our schedule?”