published in the united states - relax and learn guitar · you spend your time. whether you are a...

Copyright © 2016 by Kevin DepewAll rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed “Attention: Permissions Coordinator,” at the address below.

Published By:

Kevin DepewP.O.Box 11Terrace Park, Ohio 45174www.createsometime.comContact: [email protected] in the United States

http://www.createsometime.com


copyright 2016 http://www.createsometime.com PAGE 1

Prioritize: Your Guide to Deciding what’s Important

What is this guide all about?

Today’s grandparents are younger, more involved and busier than ever.

It can be overwhelming when you try to fit everything into your busy day. There’s your job, commute, appointments, meals, housework and obligations with your children, grandchildren or even your parents.

Discovering what motivates you and what your priorities are is a powerful thing. It helps guide what you spend your time on.

After the birth of our twin grandsons, my wife and I needed to take a look at what we were doing and how we were spending our time. We knew that we wanted to be involved grandparents and are fortunate to have the ability to do so. The addition of grandchildren into our life was the catalyst for a positive change. It caused us to slow down and create some time to map out what we wanted the beginning of our “middle years” to look like.

I have written this guide to help you decide what is important in your own life so that you can better prioritize, and therefore maximize the impact of how you spend your time.

Whether you are a new grandparent or an expectant grandparent. Or you are just navigating your middle years and your definition of success has changed. Us “midlifers” are just getting started and it is time to prioritize and plan now.

Think of it as learning a new skill that will help you “invest” your time rather than just “spend” your time.





To begin your journey to a prioritized and therefore happier life, we need to start with your values. What are values? Those are the principles or concepts that guide you. Values are the things that you think are important in the way you live and work. Values are your “WHY.”

Often times we don’t think about our values. However it is necessary to evaluate your values on a regular basis. That is because our values change as we move through life. Our definition of success also changes as we age.

I interview and hire people at my full time job. And one of the interview questions we ask candidates is “What are the values that guide you?” I am often met with blank stares. This guide will help you answer this important question. As you navigate your middle years, you will have a clear understanding of your core values.

Chapter 1Start with “WHY”





Your values determine your priorities so we need to start there. We should be old enough to know what our values are right? Maybe, but unless you make a conscious effort, I have found that I am not able to rattle them off. Let’s start by writing down what is important to you in your life by answering 3 questions:

1. When have you been the happiest? a. Who were you with? b. What were you doing?

2. When in your life have you felt the most alive? a. What was going on, and why did you feel so good?

3. What are you most proud of in your life?

Not the easiest questions to answer. But it is important to take 3 minutes and write down your answers.

Next, we will identify your values and what they mean to you. Start by reviewing the list of values (it is not comprehensive, add as you see fit) on the following page. Choose 6 values that you feel are the most important to you.





Accountability Diversity Humility Respect

Accomplishment Empathy Independence Resilience

Adventure Enjoyment Intellect Satisfaction

Affection Enthusiasm Ideals Security

Beauty Equality Joy Selflessness

Belongings Fairness Justice Service

Balance Faith Leadership Serenity

Career Family Love Stability

Caring Fitness Loyalty Strength

Community Freedom Mastery Teamwork

Compassion Fun Music Truth

Connection Goals Merit Temperance

Commitment Growth Money Thankfulness

Communication Hard Work Nature Tolerance

Creativity Health Order Tradition

Competition Helping others Opportunity Trust

Curiosity Honesty Purpose Understanding

Dependability Hope Preparation Uniqueness

Discipline Healing Prudence Vision

Determination Honor Reliability Vitality

Personal Values





Next, list those 6 values and define what they mean to you.

For example, a couple of my values are:

Notice I cheat a little and combine like values together, feel free to do the same. Spending time with the people I love is something I value. And so is being creative.

Finally, rank your 6 core values in order of importance. I know this is a guide about prioritizing and I am asking you to prioritize a list right off the bat. But this is the first step and will help guide the rest of your decisions when it comes to determining what is actually important, not just urgent.

Now you should have a list of 6 core values. A few more if you cheat like I do and combine a few. Ironic that one of my values is honesty……

Along with those core values, you should have a few things jotted down that define that value for you.

These values should guide the goals that you have in your personal and professional life. Helping you determine how to invest your time in what matters most.

Value Defined as:

Love/Connection/Support marriage, time with family, grandsons and friends

Creativity playing guitar and drums, writing music, visiting museums, producing videos, writing blog posts





Chapter 2How do you spend your time?

So you have determined your values and defined what those mean to you. Before you start prioritizing your tasks to focus on the most important things first, you need to know how you are spending your time.

1. Record everything that you do for an entire week. Use the calendar on the following pages.





Mon. Tues. Weds. Thurs. Friday Sat. Sun.

6am

630am

7am

730am

8am

830am

9am

930am

10am

1030am

11am

1130am

12pm

1230pm

1pm

130pm

2pm

230pm

3pm





Mon. Tues. Weds. Thurs. Friday Sat. Sun.

330pm

4pm

430pm

5pm

530pm

6pm

630pm

7pm

730pm

8pm

830pm

9pm

10pm

11pm

12am

1am

2am

3am

4-6amm





2. Color code your activities on the calendar with color pencils.

● Red for work● Blue for commute● Purple for sleep● Green for leisure ● Orange for family time● Pink for computer time● Yellow for exercise ● etc.

Alternately, you may choose to accomplish the tracking of your time for one week using an app. I have used the app ATracker which is simple and free. There is also Hours Time Tracking that gets good reviews.

I like to use my iphone for as many tasks as possible. I always have it with me, there is literally an app for everything. I am a compulsive to-do-list maker and my iphone just reinforces that. If you can use the one thing you have with you all day, you are more likely to complete whatever task it is that you are working on.

And just like when you write down what you eat everyday (or put it in the fitness pal app) you are more likely to make an impact on your behavior. We pay attention to what we track.

It does not matter what you use. As long as you use something to get a better picture of how you are spending your time. An ok system that you follow is far more valuable than an excellent system that you don’t follow.





Chapter 3The Importance of Alignment

Unhappy = Spending time on things you don’t value

Happy = Investing time in the things you value

Ok, it’s time to get happy. The next step to determining what is important to invest your time in is to take a look at that schedule that you color coded.

Compare your time spent with the values you identified in chapter 1. Do they align? Life is usually pretty good when your behavior matches up with your values.



copyright 2016 http://www.createsometime.com PAGE


But when your time spent (behavior) and your personal values don’t align, that’s when things feel….wrong, stressful, unhappy.

I will give you an example. I value curiosity/learning (I know, big fat cheater) so when I have a task at work that is pretty mundane and necessary, I am not very happy. I often procrastinate when I have a task that has been the same for years. Like monitoring, or file reviews. But when I have the chance to research or try something new, like a new computer system, or an approach to working with families, I thrive.

I also value helping others. So if I had a job where that was not what I was doing, I would not last very long.

If you value spending time with your family, and you are working 70 hour weeks, my bet is you are miserable.

What did you discover from your time tracking exercise? Were you surprised by what you found? Are there changes you can make to save time in one area to invest in another?

Can you watch less television? Spend less time online? Then you can spend more time with your family, loved ones and friends.

One of the keys to figuring out what your alignment looks like, is to actually slow down and think about this stuff. I have found that being mindful starts with being quiet. Turn off the television, turn off your phone or leave it in another room, and spend some time where it is quiet. Out in nature if possible. On a nice park bench if you can.

Bigger is not always better. It is the small things that add up over time. Spending a little time alone in a quiet place seems like such a small thing. But in the long run it is huge. Especially in our current culture of do everything, all the time, as fast as you can. And don’t forget to read and watch and listen to everything. You are never going to do that. So don’t even try. Slow down and take consistent small actions instead.





Chapter 4Most Important Things

So you have figured out if your behavior (what you spend your time doing) is aligned with your personal values. If they are, you are probably feeling pretty good right about now. If they are not, that is ok, there is hope.

When you are looking at all of the tasks that you need to complete in a day, it is helpful to know which of those tasks are aligned with your personal values and are therefore going to help you make progress toward your goals. If I value spending time with my family and friends, I can quickly determine what things on my task list are going to help me get there.

Or if I know that I value playing music, or writing my blog, I can look at the tasks that I have to do and figure out which one gets me closer to that goal. And our goals should align with our values.

It looks something like this: Values

MIT’s Goals

Time





The MIT’s in the diagram stands for “Most Important Things” Your MIT’s are those things that get you closer to your goals. Those things that are most closely related to your values. These are your priorities. Here are a few examples:

● Let’s say that one of your values is health. Your goal is to get healthier. Ask yourself “What is the MIT I can do today to help me be healthy?”

● Let’s say that one of your values is creativity. Your goal is to play guitar everyday. Ask yourself “What is the MIT I can do today to play my guitar for 20 minutes?”

● Or you value your relationships. Your goal is to improve your marriage. Ask yourself “What is the MIT I can do this week to improve my marriage?”

● Or you value your family. Your goal is to spend more quality time with your grandkids. Ask yourself “what is the MIT we can do every week to spend more quality time together?”

Those MIT’s are what you should do first on your to-do-list. When possible, I suggest getting up early to work on these MIT’s. Then the rest of the day you know you accomplished your MIT and you can focus on the rest of your day.

Important activities lead to either a personal or professional goal.

Urgent activities need your attention right away. Often times, these activities relate to someone else's goal. We often concentrate our time on these urgent activities because there is usually a consequence if we fail to complete them. These urgent activities become our priorities. We need to flip that.

Take a look at your tasks and schedule, determine what you MIT’s are, and try to do one thing everyday that gets you closer to one of your goals that are driven by your values.





Look at all of the things, projects and tasks that you feel you have to do. If you use a to-do-list, you have probably already done this. If you are not using a to do list, that is another subject entirely and I may have to write that guide next….

Label the things that are important and the things that are urgent. Some items will be both important and urgent. And some items may be neither. So you basically get 4 categories to choose from:

● Important○ These are the things that get you closer to your own goals. Leave

enough time in the day to complete these activities. First thing in the morning when possible. Make these a priority.

● Urgent○ These are the things that prevent you from reaching your goals. A

common source of your urgent matters is other people. ○ If that other person is your boss, you probably need to complete the

task. ○ You may need to say no to other people’s requests.

● Important and Urgent○ Sometimes you can foresee these matters. If you can, plan ahead so

your important matters don’t become urgent. ○ Of course you can’t always foresee things, so you always want to

leave time in your day for the unexpected.

● Neither○ These are just distractions, try to avoid them.





Chapter 5Take Action!

Identifying your values, understanding what they mean to you, tracking your time and determining your MIT’s is no easy task. It can be a challenge but it is important. By becoming more aware of what is important in your life, you can use that to guide your best choice in most any situation. You can begin to prioritize now.

Some of life’s decisions are all about knowing what your values are. Making a choice that you know is right gets easier when you are more aware.

I tried to pack a big punch in this little guide. Let’s summarize how you can prioritize now and determine what is important to you:





TAKE ACTION

1. Slow Down. Beginning to do any of the things in this guide is going to mean slowing down to schedule the time to work on these steps.

2. Write down your values. Rank them in order of importance. Define what that looks like to you. If you don’t know what your values are, you are probably not happy and you are probably wasting time.

3. Record how you are spending your time. You might be surprised about what you learn.

4. Write down your MIT’s. Doing this the night before is especially helpful so when you start your next day, you have an idea of what is important, not just urgent.

5. Take one action each day that is aligned with your values and gets you closer to your goal.

If you start here, you will be well on your way to prioritizing and deciding what is important. I know that this process helped my wife and I tremendously. We are enjoying our “middle years”. We try to spend as much time as possible with our twin grandsons and share our values with them. Life is more enjoyable when you balance your work, personal and family life.

I hope you have similar results.

Action is the foundational key to all success. -Pablo Picasso



Kevin Depew is a Licensed Social Worker in the state of Ohio. He has over 24 years experience working with children and families in a non profit setting managing multiple people and projects.

He is the owner of www.createsometme.com a website dedicated to helping people navigate their middle years, mange their time and feel less overwhelmed.

He has been married to his wife Vicky for over 23 years. Vicky is also a Licensed Social Worker and has over 17 years experience working with the aging population primarily in a coaching capacity.

When he is not working, creating content for modern grandparents and helping others, he enjoys playing guitar, writing music, producing videos and spending time with his twin grandsons.

Kevin and Vicky make their home in Cincinnati Ohio.

Find out more at www.cretesometime.com or on Facebook.

About the Author

http://www.createsometme.com

http://www.createsometme.com

http://www.cretesometime.com



https://www.facebook.com/Createsometimecom-1650528191892589/?ref=hl

published in the united states - relax and learn guitar · you spend your time. whether you are a...

Documents