Ratiocination for Comparative Rhetorical Analysis Essay

1. Circle the words “how” and “that”2. Draw a triangle around all of the “to be”

verbs; is, as, was, were, be, being, been--Count up the total ‘to be’ verbs and write this number at the top of your paper

3. Underline all material quoted from your sources, including single words and phrases.

• Read the following sentence;

“The use of the word ‘it’ in reference to the government emphasizes how Thoreau feels about the government.”

With your group, discuss what is wrong with the sentence, and decide on a revised version.

“The use of the word ‘it’ in reference to the government emphasizes how Thoreau feels about the government.”

“The use of the word ‘it’ in reference to the government emphasizes Thoreau’s cynical view that the government does too much, and expands its powers too vastly.”

“The use of the word ‘it’ in reference to the government emphasizes the scrutinizing tone of Thoreau’s paper, degrading the position and title which he feels possesses negative ruling abilities which cause it to be too deeply involved with its people.”

“The use of the word ‘it’ in reference to the government emphasizes how Thoreau feels about the government.”

“The use of ‘it’ in reference to the government emphasizes Thoreau’s condemnatory view of the government.”

“The usage of ‘it’ emphasizes Thoreau’s disgust with a flawed and abused system of government.”

“The use of the word ‘it’ emphasizes Thoreau’s view of the government as a nameless, faceless entity which does not always act in the interests of its citizens.”

• “The use of the word ‘it’ in reference to the government emphasizes how Thoreau feels about the government.”

• “The repetition of the word ‘it’ in reference to the government emphasizes Thoreau’s discontent with the government system.”

• “Thoreau expresses his disdain towards the government through the use of the pronoun ‘it.’”

• “The use of the word ‘it’ in reference to the government emphasizes that Thoreau feels the government is overbearing, unnecessary, and harmful.”

• “The use of the word ‘it’ in reference to the government emphasizes how Thoreau feels about the government.”

• “The use of the word ‘it’ in reference to the government emphasizes Thoreau’s feelings about the government.”

• “…negative feelings about the government.”• “…emphasizes Thoreau’s feelings of disdain

towards the government.”• “…that Thoreau believes the government is

unnecessary and plays no efficient role in our lives.”

Revised “To Be” Verbs

• “This claim is not very effective because it fails to explain why girls are setting themselves up for such problems.”

– “This claim loses effectiveness because it fails to explain why girls set themselves up for such problems.”

• “It is speculated that genetic engineering could be used to change physical appearance, metabolism, and even improve mental faculties like memory and intelligence, although for now these seem to be a lower priority.”– “Scientists speculate that genetic engineering

could be used…” – “…although for now these seem to show a

lower priority.”

• “For eons, the human race has been striving to find answers to the elusive question of why the physical universe behaves the way it does.”– “For eons, the human race has strived to find

answers to the elusive question…”

• “The word ‘sullied’ represents an offensive term that generally means ‘soiled,’ and suggests that steroids have tainted America’s pastime, saying that a new generation of baseball players have spat on one hundred years of baseball history.”

More revised passive voice• “Williams refers to the Holy Bible as

newsworthy, showing it is somewhat reliable but poses the question is it wholly reliable.”– “…showing its reliability…”– “poses the question of its complete reliability.”– “Williams refers to the newsworthiness of the

Holy Bible…”

• “He acknowledges that there is a problem, but that it is not as bad as the record labels make it seem.”

– “He acknowledges the problem, but that the record labels make it seem worse than it appears.”

• “Looking closer, the concept of socialism, which in essence permits government control over certain items of an economy. This supposedly benefits the entirety of the population, limiting the liberties of the citizens, which is what a democracy is supposed to protect.”

• “…the liberties of the citizens, which democracy protects…”

• “Hollinger’s main approach to the ethical issue of the subject is attempting to refute the main arguments made by those who are supporters of the research.”– Hollinger’s main approach to the ethical issue

attempts to refute the main arguments made by those who support the research.”

• “An argument is no stronger than the literary devices used to create it.”

• “Witherby repeats the word ‘concern’ to imply the system is flawed and there is a need for worry.”– “…to imply the flaw in the system and the need for worry.”

“Malcolm Jay omits that tourism is a huge source of revenue for the host country.”

“Malcolm Jay omits that tourism produces a huge source of revenue…”

“Arial wolfhunting has been labeled as an effective way to control wolf populations.”

– “_____ labeled arial wolfhunting…”– “

Let’s Kill Some Words

• Discuss with your group; – Look over your essays. What words can you

do without? Why don’t you need them? Does this tell us anything about words we can eliminate?

– Make a list (again with your group) of words that can be left out of your writing without affecting the meaning of the writing. We will compile a master list.

Dead Words—Get Rid of ‘em!• Compares• Really• Extremely• Very• Creates• Emphasizes• POSITIVE, NEGATIVE• Good, bad• Illustrates• Proves• “I think”• Fantastic, terrific, etc.• Credible, credibility

Uses• Adds• Idea• Little• Shows• Stronger• Effective• Seems• Appears• Argument• Article• Attempts (except in arguments against)• Loaded

Dead Words—get rid of them!

• Very, really, great, good, bad, a lot, positive, negative

Dead Words—Get rid of them!• “Use”• “Very”• “Much”• “Several”• “Should” (if expressing your opinion)• “Really”• “Extremely”• “Like” (as a filler word)• “Basically”• “POSITIVE”• “NEGATIVE”• “Good”• “Bad”• “Pretty (much)”

Dead Words—get rid of them!• Very• Repetitive words in your own piece• Really• Good, Bad• Seem (in your claims and your opinions)• NEGATIVE • POSITIVE• Kind of • Show• Like • Kids (when referring to children or adolescents)

Dead Words—get rid of them!• “The piece”• Personally overused words (argument/argues)• “Here…”• “Main”• “Shows”• “Belief”• “Very”• “Less”• “Much”• “More”• “Many”• “Big,” “small”• “Good,” “Bad”• “Happy,” “Sad”• “POSITIVE,” “NEGATIVE”

Parenthetical Documentation• “Blah,” (Smith). *Database source with known

author but no page indicated

• “Blah, blah,” (“Food…”). *Database source with unknown author of article/essay. (First word of title that is not “a,” “an,” “the”

• According to Smith, “Blah, blah, blah,” (“Food…”). *Database entry with in-text reference to author.