reclaim your shadow - wordpress.com · 2013. 9. 3. · robert bly is a poet, teacher, philosopher...
TRANSCRIPT
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B e n e a t h t h e s o c i a l m a s k w e w e a r e v e r yd a y , w e h a v e a h i d d e n s h a d o w s i d e : a ni m p u l s i v e , w o u n d e d , s a d , o r i s o l a t e d p a r tt h a t w e g e n e r a l l y t r y t o i g n o r e , b u tw h i c h c a n e r u p t i n h u r t f u l w a y s . T h i sp a p e r w i l l h e l p y o u u n d e r s t a n d t h ec o n c e p t o f s h a d o w , g u i d e y o u t or e c o g n i z e y o u r s h a d o w s i d e a n de m b r a c e i t t o m a k e a d i f f e r e n c e .- R a k h e e S a m s i O D C P - I V
Reclaim Your Shadow
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Preface:
Shadow work has been the most transformative experience to my life. It has helped to understand, acknowledge and accept parts of
me which I had unknowingly disowned. It has helped to work with my core issues of worthlessness, self -doubt, inadequacy,
competition, gender biasness, victim mindset etc. It has unlocked my creativity, helped me reclaim mu sunshine, my personal power
and authority. It guides me to traverse my journey of the seeker from exploration to being wise.
This article is a collection of various reading on Shadow and my understanding of Shadows. It will give you an insight into the
conceptual theory behind Shadow - the Jungian concept of collective unconscious and the archetypes. You will understand what is a
Shadow? How they are formed? What are the different types of Shadows? We spend the first half of our life, forming our Shadow
and the next half reclaiming our Shadow. The encounter with your shadow section talks about why & when Shadow catch up with
us, where do we search for our shadow and how our shadow consumes us and drives our behaviour. In the last section Reclaim you
shadow emphasizes the need to do Shadow work and how one can go about it, what are some possible applications in the OD space.
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TheTheTheThe conceptual theoryconceptual theoryconceptual theoryconceptual theory behind Shadowbehind Shadowbehind Shadowbehind Shadowssss
Carl Jung saw the human psyche as made up of layers or strata. First is the Conscious mind .i.e EGO. This term
is given to the organization of the conscious mind,
being composed of conscious perceptions,
memories, thoughts, and feelings. Basically all that
we are aware of.
Personal Unconscious: Those mental contents
that the ego does not recognize fall into the
Personal Unconscious. The Personal Unconscious
is made up of suppressed and forgotten
memories, traumas, etc. Basically all psychic
contents which are either too weak to reach
consciousness or are actively suppressed by the
ego.
Thus far Jung is in agreement with Freud, in supposing the existence of the Unconscious mind, which includes all that is not immediately accessible to everyday waking consciousness (i.e. the Conscious mind or Ego). Conscious and Unconscious are thus the two opposite parts of the psyche.
Jung's great contribution however was to divide the Unconscious itself into two very unequal levels: the more superficial Personal Unconscious and the deeper Collective Unconscious. Everyone has their own Personal Unconscious which is unique to onself based on their environment and experiences.
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The Collective Unconscious in contrast is universal. It cannot be built up like one's personal unconscious is built; rather it predates the individual. It is the repository of all the religious, spiritual, and mythological symbols and experiences. It is a form of psychological inheritance. It contains all of the knowledge and experiences we share as a species. Its primary structures are the deep structures of our psyche, in other words - Jung called them "Archetypes". These archetypes are the conceptual patterns behind all our religious and mythological concepts, and our thinking.
The Origins of Archetypes
Archetypes exist in the Collective Unconscious. He suggested that these models are innate, universal and
hereditary. Archetypes are unlearned and functions to organize how we experience certain things."All the
most powerful ideas in history go back to archetypes," Jung explained this in his book The Structure of the
Psyche. In their present form they are variants of archetypal ideas created by consciously applying and adapting
these ideas to reality. Jung identified four major archetypes, but also believed that there was no limit to the
number of Archetypes that may exist.
The Self
The Persona
The Shadow
The self is an archetype that represents the unification of the unconsciousness and
consciousness of an individual. The creation of the self occurs through a process
known as individuation, in which the various aspects of personality are integrated.
Jung often represented the self as a circle, square or mandala
The shadow is an archetype that consists of the life instincts. The shadow exists as
part of the personal unconscious mind and is composed of repressed ideas,
weaknesses, desires, instincts and shortcomings. This archetype is often described
as the darker side of the psyche, representing wildness, chaos and the unknown.
They are present in all of us, Jung believed, although people sometimes deny this
element of their own psyche and instead Project it onto others. Shadow can appear
in dreams or visions and may take a variety of forms.
The persona is how we present ourselves to the world. The persona is a compromise
between the individual and society. The word "persona" is derived from a Latin word that literally means "mask." It is not a literal mask, however. The persona represents all of the different social masks that we wear among different groups and situations. It acts to shield the ego from negative images. According to Jung, the persona may appear in dreams and take a number of different forms
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The Anima or Animus
Other Archetypes
Jung suggested that the number of existing archetypes is not static or fixed. Instead, many different
archetypes may overlap or combine at any given time. The following are just a few of the various archetypes
that Jung described:
• The father: Authority figure; stern; powerful. E.g. Bheesma pitama.
• The mother: Nurturing; comforting. E.g. Mother Theresa, Kunti.
• The child: Longing for innocence; rebirth; salvation. E.g. Prahlad.
• The wise man: Guidance; knowledge; wisdom. E.g. Dumbledore from Harry Potter, Krishna.
• The hero: Champion; defender; rescuer. E.g. Lord Rama, Arjuna, Karna
• The maiden: Innocence; desire; purity. E.g. Radha
• The trickster: Deceiver; liar; trouble-maker. E.g.Shakuni
Archetypes are the scripts in life which we live. Each Archetype can have various forms. For e.g. the Hero can be
a The Orphan, Warrior, Ruler, Seeker etc. A person with the Orphan script moves from accepting pain and loss
through accepting the need for help to becoming independent and working with others like Harry Potter. The
Ruler moves from taking responsibility for oneself through working with one’s own group or community to
concern for society or the planet like King Arthur or Lord Rama.
What isWhat isWhat isWhat is ShadowShadowShadowShadow???? How How How How Shadow Originates?Shadow Originates?Shadow Originates?Shadow Originates?
Shadow refers to the entirety of the unconscious, i.e. everything of which a person is not fully conscious of, or
an unconscious aspect of the personality which the conscious ego does not recognize in it. Because one tends
to reject or remain ignorant of the least desirable aspects of one's personality, the initial encounter with
shadow is negative however when we work through it we are able uncover our positive shadow the gift.
Therefore, the Jungian shadow refers to all that lies outside the light of consciousness, and may be positive or
negative. "Everyone carries a shadow," Jung wrote, "and the less it is embodied in the individual's conscious
life, the blacker and denser it is."
The anima is a feminine image in the male psyche and the animus is a male image
in the female psyche. The anima/animus represents the "true self" rather than the
image we present to others and serves as the primary source of communication
with the collective unconscious.
The combination of the anima and animus is represented in Indian Mythology as
the combination of Shiv (Masculine) and Shakti (Feminine) energy in the form of
“Aardhanareshwar”. It represents completion, unification and wholeness.
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Robert Bly is a poet, teacher, philosopher and astute writer in his Book “The Little book on human shadow”
talks about how a Personal Shadow is formed. He says we are all born with "360-degree radiance”. Till the age
of one or two years energy radiates from all parts of our body and psyche. A child running is like a ball of
energy. The aliveness, feeling and dependency is too much for the caretakers to bear and unknowingly they
betray the young soul by inflicting the wounds of neglect, intrusion, cruelty and shame. The little child starts
noticing that the parents don’t like certain parts of the ball; this is when Splitting happens in the form of
strokes and we begin the Shadow Making Process. Strokes are both positive and negative. Whatever is
positive, we retain it and we hide whatever is negative. When parents say things like ‘Can’t you stay still?’ or
“Good children don’t shout or cry?’ as children we start putting it into the bag. Bly says behind us we all have
an ‘Invisible Bag’, and the part our parents don’t like we stuff in it. When our parents gives us a positive stroke
in form of acknowledgement, love, recognition we feel pride and make it our way of being. By the time we go
to school the bag is large and then the teachers, friends also start having their say. Thus any part of us that is
termed as ‘Bad’ including behavior, unpleasant incidents and painful memories, our preferences etc. starts
going into the bag. In short all parts of our personality that our parents and community don’t approve of are
now sitting in our Bag. To gain love and acceptance we become well behaved, more polite, we manage anger
and hide our emotions which are not acceptable in the society. In other words we develop our Persona, our
own Mask which is acceptable to the society and world we live in.
Each of the shadow that we have stuffed in the bag has a story to tell. This universal process of shadow making takes place via the coping mechanism or defense styles. It helps the child survive in untenable situations by protecting it from anxiety of rejection and abandonment. But, paradoxically just as we defend against the shadow feeling and behavior shadow is formed. The stuffing of the negative contents in the bag is repression, painful experiences are also often buried in our body (somaticization), or we attribute to others (projection) while whatever is so called positive traits which are acceptable by our family and society turns in to our ego ideal (identification) and we make it our identity. We stuff many things like a man disowns his inner "woman i.e. the anima," and the woman disowns her inner "hero - animus".
Jung also states that this collective unconscious contains those elements common to the tribe, the family, the nation, the race. Hence there is a town, nation shadow and religion shadow as well. Each Town has its own distinct culture which is experienced in everything right from the people to industry, infrastructure of the town. For e.g. the fast moving, untiring, cosmopolitan attitude of a Mumbaikar which is open and accepting of all challenges is a town shadow. Each Community also has a unique shadow which is entrenched in their religion, norms and rituals which determines a particular behavior amongst all its members. The deeper you
have embodied the rituals the more rigid you become to another reality. Different community stuffs different contents in the bag. For e.g. In Hindu community the patriarchal families push the anima i.e. feminine side of a man in the shadow. Nation also has a shadow for e.g. Indian V/s Pakistan feud and majority of the Indian hatred for Pakistan is nothing but a National shadow. In Catholic the world of darkness is starkly set against light, the moral behavior code is prescribed in the form of 7 deadly sins – anger, envy, pride, avarice, lust, gluttony & sloth. Depending on the town, community, nation we belong to we stuff our sexuality, individuality, spontaneity, creativity etc. into the bag. This
cultural shadow is the larger shadow within which personal shadow develops.
Thus out of the globe of energy the 20 year old ends up with a slice. The bag is already bigger and longer than a
mile. The more we have stuffed in our personal bag, the bigger the bag becomes and we have less energy, all
Shadow refers to all that lies outside
the light of consciousness, and may be
positive or negative. "Everyone carries
a shadow," and the less it is embodied
in the individual's conscious life, the
blacker and denser it is. – Carl Jung
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that we have put in the bag becomes unavailable to us. For e.g. If we identity our self as uncreative and often
say “I am not creative, let the expert do it” it means we stuffed our creativity into the bag. This explains the
concept of the “Ice Berg” which states that only 1/8th of our potential is available for us and is in our
consciousness the rest all is below the water i.e. hidden in our Personal Bag. We spend our life until we’re 20
deciding what parts of our self to put in the bag, and we spend the rest of our lives trying to get them out again.
What happens suppose the bag remains sealed? – Then, the stuff which is in the bag begins to regress and
become primitive and hostile towards the person. In a way, we become our worst enemy. The longer we wait;
the harder it is to see this "bag," because it becomes larger than our ego.
Robert Bly has used the metaphor of the moving picture projector & a can. We ignore certain parts of
ourselves, miniaturize them and put it into a can, where there is dark. One night the shape will reappears, such
that we can’t take our eyes away from them. The stuff in the Can develops a personality of its own and become
live in front of us in another shape and form. This process is explained beautifully through the story of Dr. Jekyll
and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson. Dr. Jekyll is the nice side of the personality, he is a caring doctor who
always thinking about the well-being of others, widely respected by the society. Mr. Hyde the dark regressed
side of his personality which is resembled in a younger deformed version of Mr. Hyde who is cruel & cunning
and barbaric.
Most males in Indian culture put their feminine side into the bag. When they get it touch with her around middle age she is truly hostile. The same man may experience in the meantime much hostility from the women in the outer world. The Rule is “The outside has to be like the Inside”. If a woman wanting to be approved for her femininity has put her masculine side into the bag, she will find him hostile towards her and he may be unfeeling and brutal in criticism. She is in a spot and finding a hostile man to live with will give her someone to blame, to take away the pressure but that will not help the closed bag, she is liable to face double rejection both from the male outside and the male inside. Every part of our personality that we don’t love will become hostile towards us. It will move to a distant place and begin to revolt against us.
It is important to understand as we develop our shadow characters pick up swords and shields – power, sex,
money, addiction – to protect their identities, compensate for feeling of shame and defend against further injury. The character seeks to compensate for their feelings of weakness, inferiority, incompetence and powerlessness and for their fears of non-existence. So they devise ways to gain invulnerability by using power shield to banish the uncomfortable feelings. They may resort to violence, verbal abuse, emotional control or withholding love and approval. The result is that the internal characters move deeper into our unconscious. At the same time the ego grows stronger and stronger and it builds its empire via status, authority or fame. There are two kinds of power: Authentic power, the ability or willingness to stand for authentic voice of self, and Inauthentic power which stems from the ego and serves to reinforce the defense mechanism of the persona. Sex is a shield to defend against feelings of isolation, impotency and unattractiveness. Money is a shield to bolster a weak self-image or to inflate low self-esteem. We worship money like a false god as today money is the sole currency of exchange. Money is a symbol of transformation, of the power to turn one thing into the other like food, clothing, shelter, pleasure, status, mobility. Money also today has a feeling of worth attached to it. Money is also the root of all evil our relationship with money reveals our life purpose and fate. We may spend all our lives ignoring it or pursuing it. In money resides the greed. Addiction is a shield to numb the pain of a rejected character and to escape dark feelings. Addiction camouflages vast inner emptiness.
There are different types of Shadows we carry this is very simply explained by Connie Wig on her website http://conniezweig.com. Some common examples of ones behaviour and the possible shadow are listed below:
• If you put yourself last, always caring for others yet becoming resentful, you may have a
Pleaser shadow…
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• If you are single but keep choosing the same, wrong person again and again, you may have a Pursuer
or a Distancer shadow….
• If you feel unappreciated, unacknowledged, misunderstood by friends or family, you may have an
Invisible Sue/Invisible Jim shadow….
• If you struggle with an addiction to cigarettes, drugs, alcohol, or sex, and can’t control it,you may have
an Addict shadow….
• If you feel alone, inauthentic, and disconnected, even when you are with others, you may have
an Orphan shadow….
In all of these cases, you may feel helpless and ashamed when your shadow acts out but have no idea why it’s
occurring or what to do about it. It time for you to open the Invisible Bag, that you carry around and begin the
process of encountering and reclaiming your shadow. This process usually begins around midlife i.e. 35-40
years and that is when we begin an encounter with our Shadow.
An Encounter withAn Encounter withAn Encounter withAn Encounter with your your your your
Shadow Shadow Shadow Shadow
When Our Shadow Shows Up!
The encounter with the shadow begins usually at the
middle age once a person has satisfied their basic
needs. Maslow in his paper published in 1943 - "A
Theory of Human Motivation" proposed the “Maslow
theory of needs” in which he speaks about "deficiency
needs" or "d-needs": esteem, friendship and love,
security, and physical needs. If these "deficiency needs"
are not met the individual will feel anxious and tense.
Maslow's theory suggests that the most basic level of
needs must be met before the individual will strongly
desire (or focus motivation upon) for the secondary
higher level need of Self Actualization. Self-
Actualization is a desire to accomplish everything that one can; to become the most of what one can be in
order to unlock the true potential. Once we have achieved success, met our social benchmarks of education,
house, car, marriage, children, steady job and promising career we start feeling “what next”…there is a feeling
of emptiness that we all go through. This is the time in our life, usually midlife when our shadow catches up
with us. The image hidden within our invisible bag or the Projector Can reaches out and surfaces in front of us
in the most unexpected manner. At times a crucible life changing experience like a natural calamity, tragic loss
"The nearer we approach to the middle of life, and the better we have succeeded in entrenching ourselves in our personal attitudes and social positions, the more it appears as if we had discovered the right course and the right ideals and principles of behaviour. For this reason we suppose them to be eternally valid, and make a virtue of unchangeably clinging to them. We overlook the essential fact that the social goal is attained only at the cost of a diminution of personality. Many -- far too many -- aspects of life which should also have been experienced lie in the lumber-room among dusty memories; but sometimes, too, they are glowing coals under grey ashes." - Carl Jung
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of a close friend or family, loss of job, encounter with violence which shatters our ideals and hopes also leads
us to a chance encounter with your shadow. It is interesting to know that our shadow characters are always
there and they manifest in different forms right from our adolescence to adulthood in the form of friends,
relatives, colleagues, boss, spouse our children but the consciousness of it usually hits only around the midlife.
Our past experiences, behaviour patterns all are a rich source of data to help us understand our Shadow side.
Since shadow is unconscious we cannot gaze at it directly. Because it is hidden we need to seek it and to do
that we need to know where to look.
Where to look for our Shadows?
The first step is to learn to recognize our shadow. A good place to begin to recognize your shadow is by paying
close attention to your own self. We need to understand what is in the persona… What is there in your persona
will hold a clue to what lies in your shadow. What is so visible and evident in your persona which troubles you within means; there is a shadow side which we are not acknowledging.
Another way to understand our Shadow side is by being aware of our Projections. For e.g. If you walk into a party and feel immediate dislike for a stranger “He is so stupid”, “She is so fat”, “She is so arrogant” we have met a project shadow of ours. At such times our conscious intentions are crossed by unconscious opponents. We react intensely to a trait in others that we fail to see in ourselves. If we feel disgusted, incredulous (I can’t believe he actually can do that) or embarrassed (that makes me really uncomfortable) by another trait or behaviour and our response is exaggerated, we may be seeing and aspect of our own shadow indirectly out there where it is saver for us to observe it. Projections are unconscious efforts to banish those traits, behaviours from ourselves. These questions can help you to understand what your project onto others. Whom do you judge the most? What group of people repulses or terrifies you? What is it that you cannot stand in a friend or family member?
The shadow hides in our secret shames. Being aware of what private thoughts or feelings most embarrass you?
What traits do you wish to be rid of? In what ways do you feel unacceptable, dirty or shamefully different? Are
all points of reflection which holds a clue to what your shadow can be? Shadow also lurks in our addictions.
When we are in grasp of compulsive behavior, we unknowingly aim to fill the invisible emptiness, whether
through alcohol, sex, food or work. We disguise our deepest needs by creating the symptom of addiction and
becoming deaf to the call of self. What do you crave for deeply? What desires do you attempt to control or
limit when you succumb to addiction? can give you an idea about where your shadow lies.
Shadow blurts out in slips of tongue. The shadow also erupts in humor especially cruel jokes at other expense.
Shadow also wears the camouflage of physical symptoms. We can forget an abuse but the body does not. Like
shock absorbers our body absorbs the wear and tear of our emotional experience. We may defend against it
but our body takes the heat. Shadow dances through our dreams which are the most eloquent voice of our
unconscious. Our dreams can reveal unknown feelings and unseen attitudes that cannot be discovered in any
other way. The dream is a theater “in which the dreamer is himself the scene, the player, the promoter, the
producer, the author, the public, and the critic…” Reflecting on who appears in your dreams to contradict your
waking self-image? What do these characters do & what do they need? Making these associations can give
great insights of our shadow side. Shadow reveals its gold in creative works – poetry, art, theater etc which
build bridges between the conscious and the unconscious worlds. The art has the power to loosen the tight
grasp of the conscious mind permitting unknown moods and images to arise. Creating mandala is also an
expression of the unconscious.
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Making efforts to understand the Archetype script that you are living and can also help you understand your persona side and shadow side better. For e.g. someone who is living the Innocent Archetype script will always be seeking love and acceptance from others, they would want the security from everyone around them, they will be childlike and display a lot of dependence on people. What will be hidden in their Shadow is their own sunshine - their Personal Power and Authority. Someone who is living the Seeker archetype is always in search of the meaning, always experimenting and exploring possibilities they would find difficult to take a decision and drive closure. Their Shadow side will be inability to commit & Perfectionism. If someone is living the orphan archetype who always finds him/herself abandoned, seeking others help for survival or rebelling against the authority for survival and feeling ill-treated in life has victim in his/her shadow. The victim who feels “why me” the victim which makes them suppress their oppression and anger which they are not able to express. What is in the shadow is the abuser in them. Thus the Archetype script gives us a clue on what can be there in our shadow side which is unconsciously driving our behavior.
Thus our Shadow plays out in our being through our behaviourial patterns, our moodiness an understanding of
it explains why we do what we do and how can we work with it.
The impact of Shadow on our Being
If you are an impulsive and excessive shopaholic and you always buy in abundance thinking the stock may not last, what’s is hidden in your Shadow is scarcity. If you are successful and one amongst the best in your field of career, yet you live with a feeling of doubt – ‘I am good enough’ then your persona is success and your shadow can be fear of failure or insignificance which may be stemming from self-doubt somewhere you have not accepted your own gifts. If you are socially well accepted and liked by one and all, you are always kind, warm and caring and carry the image of an ideal girl or boy but; it is causing dissent within you, the shadow of a rebel, oppressor is what you may be hiding beneath this social mask. If you are an independent and successful person and pride yourself for being one to the extent that asking for help is a taboo for you, your persona is freedom and independence and your shadow can be dependence or helplessness. Thus Shadow can be light and dark in either ways it is a part of you which according to you does not fit your self-image and the social mask you wear. Hence you ignore, hide, reject, and deny this aspect of your personality – it is both positive and negative. Whatever we hide in our shadow consumes our energy and we become diminished in our potential.
There is a connection between our shadow energies and what seeks us and drives our behaviour. For e.g. let’s suppose a man has rolled up his anger inside the can for twenty years, he may one night see it on his wife face. The anger rolled up in the can needs a lot of energy to keep it there, in short that energy is locked up in the can. Therefore when one 'projects,' one is really giving away an energy or power that rightfully belongs to one's own treasury. From a young age, we learn to project outward, ridding ourselves of the inner struggles, inner hero, and witches of the psyche. We may project onto individuals, those close to us like our parents, husbands and wives receive a lot of projections. While there is always an initial gain because by projecting the witch outward, we don't have to deal with her. But un-owned shadow material will eventually come back from the can and haunt us. The more parts of the inner world we give away, the more diminished we become. The issue is not so much that we do project but how long we keep our projections out there? Projections without personal contact are dangerous. For e.g. Thousands of men in America projected their internal feminine on Marilyn Monroe, if a million people do that and leave it there the one receiving it will mostly die as no one can live with so much introjections. Hence Projection without personal contact can damage the person receiving them. In the Indian context there is a probability that most conservative Indian women would have projected their inner witch on Rakhi Sawant or their sexuality on Mallika Sherawat.
To catch your shadow in action pay, close attention to your disproportionate response to a person, event or a
situation. If we too quickly reject a point of view, if we deny, if we react instantly, if it angers you, it keeping weighing on your mind it only means it’s time to pause and look within. Whatever is hidden inside us is what we seek in the outer world through projections; we get attracted; feel connected or pulled towards such
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“According to Carl Jung, what
prevents people from becoming
autonomous, fulfilled and
ultimately happy is their refusal
to open themselves to
experiences that are new and
unfamiliar, and thus potentially
threatening to their sense of self.
people, situation and events. This probably explains why majority of the people end up marrying there opposite kind; it is an encounter with your shadow to begin your journey towards wholeness. An awareness of our, dreams, addiction, shame, projections, archetype script, creative expression, slip of tongue, humour all of these help us meet our shadow side which may be dark or light. The search for our Shadow side is like searching for the water – only when we are aware can be begin the next step of the journey. We spend the first half of
our life forming the shadow and the second half of our life
encountering & reclaiming our Shadow! This process is usually at its peak during mid-life when our shadow chases us. All that is in our Shadow consumes our energy and make us diminished in our potential, thus to unlock ones true potential, understand the purpose of life, understand the lessons we have to learn one needs to begin the journey of Reclaim your Shadow!
Reclaim Your ShadowReclaim Your ShadowReclaim Your ShadowReclaim Your Shadow
Why it is important to reclaim our Shadow
When our mask of self-image begins to rattle around midlife, there is incongruence between what we believe we are and what we have discovered of ourselves - they don't seem to fit well. It unsettles us, as the slipping masks will reveal things
that don't fit with our world view. We begin to lose tons of energy putting masks back on, dragging our shadow bags behind us; we
emotionally struggle to deal with the
changes we feel. At this point we have a Choice, we can either eat our shadows
to reintegrate them with our personality/psyche or we can
devote increasing amounts of energy to deny that part and become rigid, and more controlling and intolerant of others. The journey of integrating the good and evil within you is called “Reclaim your Shadow”. To reclaim our Shadow we
have to begin work on Self. Working on Self is like searching for the water, the water which can be found in the most
unusual places.
“Water has often been used as a
symbol for the deepest spiritual
nourishment of humanity. It is
flowing in our time and History as
always for the Well is faithful to its
mission; but it flows in some odd
places. It has often ceased to flow in
the accustomed sites and turned up
in some most surprising locations.
But, thank god, the water is still
there. There are odd places in which
water of life is flowing these days. As
always it is free and it is fresh, as
much the living water as ever before.
The main difficulty is that it is to be
found where one least expects it.
Many people fail to find their god
given living water because they are
not prepared to search in unusual
places. It is likely to be ignored
before. One such unexpected source
is our own shadow, that dumping
ground for all those characteristics of
our personality that we disown.
These disowned parts are extremely
valuable and cannot be disregarded.
As promised the living water our
shadow costs nothing and it’s
immediately and embarrassingly ever
present. To honour and accept one’s
own shadow is a profound spiritual
discipline. It is whole making and thus
holy and most important experience
of a life time”.
- An extract from “Own your shadow”
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A Korean Zen tale, a prince notices two red painful spots on his thigh one
morning. Assuming they are insect bites, he has ties it up with a silk and goes
about this business, but later that night he notices that the two bumps have
turned into a pair of furiously darting eyes. When he wakes up, they are
accompanies by a flaring nostrils. Terrified the prince binds his leg to cover his
affliction and ignores the sound of breathing that begins to rise from his thigh.
Later that night, he clamps his hand over his leg and nearly loses two fingers:
the symptom has grown a mouth. Within this event he summons the court
surgeon to cut away the face. For several months life returns to normal. Then
one day, while he is on his horse, a scream erupts from his legs. The symptom
has returned with vengeance and rumors fly that the prince is possessed by
demons. When a wandering monk tells the prince of a sacred stream that is
protected by Kwan-yin, goddess of compassion, whose miraculous water heals
all the wounds, he eagerly journey there. As he is about to pour the holy water
onto the hated face to silence it forever the mouth cries out. “All this time, you
never even looked at me or tried to understand a single word I have said. Do
you not recognize me?. The prince, gazing closely suddenly recognizes a
distorted likeness of his own face and begins to weep. As he does so, the eyes
on the leg soften melting into those of Kwan-yin herself. “You had no heart of
compassion” she says “no sword of self-insight”. How else could I summon you
to your true nature? And the prince and the goddess speak through the night
about the secret suffering that had disturbed the prince long before the face
appeared. When the sun is up the prince is healed.
The consequence of not listening to self is high: you may feel anxious, unworthy, diminished, and moody or out of balance as you continue to obey the shadow character. Using the shields of power, money, addition, sex you may can try to anesthise the pain, but the pain will not disappear it will catch up with you eventually in the most surprising manner.Often when the shadow shoots up in awareness with it brings the knowledge that it will die, this is a threat to our Ideal Ego our Self Image and often our first response is denial. When we don’t accept this other side of us and there is a lot of confusion, struggles and stress we go through. Since the initially encounter with the shadow is with the dark side it takes a lot of effort and pain to go through the process to encounter our positive shadows. The whole process of shadow retrieval is awkward and uncomfortable but gradually we descend down the path it becomes clear that energies are within us and to unlock our true potential we need to work on our self to integrate the shadow in our being.
Process of Reclaiming Our Shadow
An encounter with the shadow begins with the initiatory step which marks the descent. The physic movement
inward and downward, towards the deep darkness, is like entering a holy place which requires metamorphosis.
The Jungian Analyst Sylvia Perera says, when we connect with the upper world self with the underworld
shadow we suffer the death of the ego-ideal. In a meeting with horrific beast, we are forced to put aside pride,
virtue and beauty. We shed it like a snake skin. We swallow up or are swallowed up by our opposite. In this
alchemical process, rebirth
occurs – the birth of Self.
At the lowest path of the
labyrinth where the
confrontation with evil
takes place, proves to be
the place of reversal. Just
was Christ was hung on
cross and left to die only
to be resurrected. In the
same way each man and
woman who makes the
harrowing decent and
suffers the required
sacrifices engages in a life
renewing act.
Shadow work helps in
healing. As shadow exists
both in mind and body our
secret suffering make us
sick. Our private shames
and silenced, the sorrows
descent into our bodies.
This entire process of
encountering the shadow,
denying it’s presence to
acknowledging and
accepting it which heals a person is very beautifully narrated in the Koren Zen tale.
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If we heed the call of the self rather than debate it, then midlife crisis becomes an opportunity and we can begin to reclaim our unlived life. We can unearth the gold long buried in the depths of our soul. Each of us wrestles with the dark giant in our own way. For some doing shadow-work work may mean sacrificing niceness for honesty. It clearly means sacrificing ego appearances for authenticity of self. For others it may mean sacrificing grandiosity for humility; it clearly means sacrificing naïve innocence for the promise of mature wisdom. As each layer of shadow is mined from darkness, as each fear is faced and each rejection reclaimed, the gold shines through us. And we begin to realize the task is ongoing. The mine has no bottom floor. Yet somehow in a compassionate embrace of the dark side of the reality we become bearers of light. We open to the other – the strange, the weak the rejected, the unloved. Simply by including in and honoring its presence we transmute it. In doing so, we awaken to the larger life. We sense patterns within patterns. We begin to hear the call of self, we no longer believe in magic we rely on it. Shadow unlocks your personal power and creativity. Working on our Shadow side we meet our unmet needs
Ways to Reclaim your Shadow
To reclaim your shadow and integrate into your psyche you can do the given shadow work:
• Meet the shadow: Identify a self-sabotaging behavior and the nanosecond in which the character
takes over (Amygdala highjack*) silencing the voice of self.
• Try to detect the early warning signs: an image of the character, as well as the bodily sensations and
repetitive thoughts that accompany it
• Romance the shadow: Tie yourself to mast and witness the difficult feelings rather than obey them.
• Trace the roots of the shadow character in your personal history and family patterns
• Trace the archetypal sources of the character, including the underlying story it is trying to tell
• Explore your choices: Ask yourself which options are available and how can you respond with more
authenticity, as well as more compassion for the other person
• Observe your resistances: if you choose not to respond differently, be aware of both the internal and
external consequences of your choice
• If you choose to respond in a new way, realign with the voice of self and feel revitalized as the shadow
character recedes.
As you realign with your shadow character it moves backstage, and you become more and more self-directed
and self-accepting. As you begin to trust the wisdom of the Self, you will have the compass you need to sail
through the stormy seas. This whole process is known as Individuation, when we become our adult self we are
conscious and aware of our own projections, our gifts, our vices and limitations as well as our limitlessness.
This whole awareness gives us personal power and in every situation & we make a conscious choice to
respond. Individuation therefore is a process whereby we become integrated and complete by not only facing
the Shadow, but recognizing and incorporating it into the Self. This overcomes a fundamental duality in human
nature. King Vikram Aditya encounter with Saturn explain the whole journey of individuation which he
undertakes to come into his full power and wisdom. To understand more you can refer to the book “The
Greatness of Saturn – A therapeutic Mythic” by Robert E Svoboda.
There is no prescribed way of working on self to reclaim the shadow; there are multiple approaches that can
enable this process like working on Dreams Analysis, Using the awareness of Myers & Briggs personality type
indicator, Use of Percept Language, Hypnotherapy like the Inner child therapy, Shadow Coaching, Attend a
shadow Lab etc.
Using the awareness of Myers & Briggs personality type indicator by understanding ones MBTI Profile and
understand the exact opposite profile can help one to accept and appreciate the other side of the personality
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type. E.g. an ENFP shadow side is ISTJ. An understanding of one’s own preference and the preference of the
other polarity helps one become more tolerant and appreciative of the other person reality. An ENFP
understands the ISTJ need for data and structure and therefore rather than getting irritated by an ISTJ are able
to respond from a place of understanding and make the necessary shifts to build a relationship.
Percept language will help you to recognize and honour your own shadow when you see it in others. It helps
you to state your feeling and take it back rather than projecting onto others. Anytime you experience intense
feeling towards a person or situation, it is a good opportunity for you to ask yourself “what is it about this
person/ situation that you are not accepting/ acknowledging in you”. There are three steps to percept
language:
• In the first step, you take notice of your reactions to people in different situations.
• In the second step, you reflect on what your reactions say about how you feel about certain parts of
yourself.
• Then in the third and final step, you work through those feelings. So, on a deep level, if I think
somebody is judgmental, there’s a piece of myself that I don’t like that’s judgmental. That’s why that
part of that person really bothers me.
There’s actually a different way of phrasing things when using percept language. For example, if I say I’m
bothered because I don’t think “Mrs. X” is a hard worker, I would say, “The Mrs. X part of me is annoyed with
the lazy part of me.”
Using Hypnotherapy as a process to access your unconscious memories is also a great way to bring your
suppressed shadow side into your consciousness and to work with them. One such therapy is the Inner child
therapy which helps you unlock the shadow energies which got locked in the Invisible bag during the
childhood.
Shadow manifests in relationships, work and society. Shadow guides your choices in love, sex, marriage, friendship, work, and family life. By paying close attention to your shadow side you can uncover their unique patterns and purpose. Befriending the shadow makes our fear an ally and enables us to live more authentically. It also automatically improves our interpersonal relationships, because we are freed from the need to project our own negativity onto others, and we become more acutely aware when theirs is projected onto us. We learn to defuse negative emotions; reclaim forbidden or lost feelings; achieve greater self-acceptance; heal betrayal; reimagine and re-create relationships; cultivate compassion for others; renew creative expressions; and find purpose in our suffering. The shadow knows why good people sometimes do bad things. Romancing the shadow and learning to read the messages it encodes in daily life can deepen your consciousness, imagination. It is soul work. As we accept ourselves more deeply for who we are, we can also accept our parent’s dark sides with greater compassion who unconsciously contributed in stuffing the invisible bag that we carry around. Romancing the shadow means honoring the unmet needs. Going through the painful passage of descent, to understand why we need to go through the suffering only then will our sunshine emerge into being.
The whole knowledge and understanding of shadow have many applications in OD space. It can be used for
Leadership Development with varied applications like working with a Leader who feels stuck while in transition
phase, Personal Leadership Journeys to unlock personal power & authority, Knowledge of the archetype and
the Leaders life script can help immensely in Executive Coaching. It can be used in both diagnosis &
intervention phase. It can be used to unlock Creativity. It can also be extended to understanding the
organization persona and linking it to what may be holding it back for e.g. if the persona of the organization is
masculine, there will be a lot of structure, legacy, process, result orientation rooted in its culture and the way it
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operates what the organization will struggle with will be the feminine side of creativity, flexibility, aesthetics
etc. This knowledge of Shadow can be extended to Parents & Teacher to make them aware of the unconscious
impact of the behaviour. The most important application is it help immensely in being oneself to live the
principle of “Self as an Instrument of Change”. Shadow works makes you authentic, spontaneous,
compassionate and congruent in thought and action.
Having obeyed the call off the Self, survived a midlife descent, encounters the monstrous shadow and honored
it presence within us, we are prepared to move into the late life transition, where we may meet the wise old
man or wise old women or sage. To make this transition happen we cannot cling to the ego inauthentic secular
power. With shadow work the ego recedes and self takes the front seat, bring with it the authentic sacred
power. As Jung says “There can be no doubt that the realization of the opposite hidden in the unconscious –
the process of reversal – signifies reunion with the unconscious laws of our being, and the purpose of this
reunion is attainment of conscious life.” With the end of blame game, we become spontaneous, creative and
congruence in our thought and action. Through this authentic relationship can emerge.