PEACE THEME 6: RESOLVING

AND TRANSFORMING

CONFLICTS

What is Conflict?

RESOLVING CONFLICTS CONSTRUCTIVELY IS A SKILL THAT CAN BE TAUGHT AND LEARNED.

CONFLICTUS “STRING TOGETHER WITH FORCE”

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What is Anger?• More commonly

experienced emotions when parties are in conflict.

• Not merely irritation or disappointment but a combined feeling of disappointment, anxiety and indignation.

• Affects our health

Here are some ways to change the form of our anger:o Recognize that you are angryo Distance yourself from

situationo Release anger physically in

direct formso Use relaxation techniqueso Calm your mind- talk to

yourselfo Apply Therapeutic techniqueso Use social support-talk to

someoneo Redirect energyo Cry it outo Turn to spiritual support

How do we deal with other people’s anger?o Allow expression. Listeno Do not counter-attacko Stand in the shoe of othero Help him/her to calm downo Paraphrase/Clarifyo Explain your Situationo Look into options togethero If you can’t deal with the other person’s

wrath, ask for help

Main options in Dealing with Conflicts

o Avoidance or Withdrawal- when the person has no power to change the situation

o Aggression- when the person considers the issue important and will use power to achieve his/her goal.

o Accommodation- when a person gives up to preserve harmony in the relationship.

o Compromise- when both parties cannot get what they want fully and they usually meet in the middle.

o Collaboration- when both issue and relationship are important to the parties.

Steps in the Collaborative Problem Solving Approacho Story Telling- exchange information on what

happened.o Focusing- focus the discussion on each other’s

underlying needs and interest.o Thinking UP- Think of all possible options that

can reconcile needs.o Concurring- Evaluate alternatives and agree

on the best option.

Some Tips to a Good Dialogue

o Speak in a gentle, non-threatening mannero Think carefully of what you are going to sayo Use the I-messageo Admit your own responsibility to the conflicto Avoid using hazy statements and global wordso Be willing to tell the other person his/her positive

attributeso Show positive regard and respecto Be tough on the problem, not on the persono Don’t take anything personallyo Be solution-oriented

Listening Tips

o Actively listeno Listen with empathyo Accept criticism of your ideas or behavioro Paraphrase what you heard and clarify when

needed

What is Mediation?• An effective way

of resolving disputes without the need to go to court.

• It involves an independent third party - a mediator - who helps both sides come to an agreement.

There are characteristics or qualities essential to a good mediator;o Mediators have to be impartial to establish

trust among parties in conflict.o They should be nonjudgmental and

understanding.o Mediators must be flexible and creative.o They should know how to reframe situations

and broaden perspectives.o Mediators should be good at analysis.o Mediators should show regard and concern for

the parties in conflict.o They should be trustworthy and optimistic.o They should anticipate a positive outcome and

influence adversaries with such hope.o They should encourage the disputants to try

again.

From Conflict Resolution to Conflict Transformation

“Ending something not desired”

“Building something desired”