Other Workshops 2

President’s Message 3

Fears and Anxieties 4

Fears & Anxieties cont. 5

Get Preschooler to Listen 6

Listening cont. 7

Listening cont. 8

Telephone Directory 9

INSIDE THIS ISSUE:

LIFELINE NEWSLETTER

September/October 2015

County Workshop Koelbel Library 5955 S. Holly Street Centennial, 80121

Tuesday, Sep 1 Safe Sleep With Angel Eyes

Tuesday, Oct 13 to be announced

Tuesday, Nov 10 Required Policy Updates Open forum

Aurora Area Workshop Smoky Hill Library 5430 S. Biscay Circle Centennial, 80015

Tuesday, Sep 15 Safe Sleep With Angel Eyes

Tuesday, Oct 20 Fire Safety Bill Brown

Tuesday, Nov 17 to be announced

We’re on the web! www.acfcca.org

Find meeting information and newsletters there

each month.

ACFCCA Board Meetings are held on the 1st Tuesday of each month. If you are interested in attending, please contact Lori at 303-794-7278

UPCOMING MEETINGS

Tue Sep 1 Koelbel Tue Sep 15 Smoky Hill Tue Oct 13 TBA Tue Oct 20 Fire Safety Tue Nov 10 Policy Updates Tue Nov 17 TBA December NO MEETINGS +Please note days and dates. Meetings no longer fall always on a 1st or 3rd Tuesday.

ALL MEETINGS ARE FROM 7:00—8::30

Children under age 18 will NOT be admitted to meetings. We tend to the needs of children all day long. This time is just for you. Thank you for understand-­‐ing. Always check the website or call Patty (303-745-6558) for weather

Other Area Association Workshops

Denver County:

Betty@ 303-758-1289

Jefferson County: Marilyn@ 303-979-5952

Adams County:

Vickie@ 303-284-6038

Douglas County: douglascountychildcare.com

CAFCC:

Tricia@ 303-914-8687 www.coloradochildcare.com

CPR/First Aid/Universal Precautions Class Instructors

A Caregiver Network

720-870-1161

Buster Posey 303-870-8376

Advanced Care 303-384-3696

Tammy Aaron

720-851-8983

Front range CPR/first aid Contact: Andrew 720-556-6742

Medication Administration Class Instructors

A Caregiver Network

720-870-1161

Debbie Bradley 303-359-9553

Susan Bobka

303-693-2762

Tammy Vigil 303-880-6488

Page 2

Come on get happy.

Fears of an Infant orToddler x Loud noises or sudden movements x Large looming objects x Strangers x Separation x Changes in the house Fears During Preschool Years x The dark x Noises at night x Masks x Monsters and ghosts x Animals such as dogs

Common Childhood Anxieties and Fears Your child's "anxiety landscape" changes over time. Here are some of the most common childhood anxieties he or she is likely to experience at different stages of development.

Fears During School Years x Snakes and spiders x Storms and natural disasters x Being home alone x Fear of a teacher who's angry x Scary news or TV shows x Injury, illness, doctors, shots, or death x Fear of failure and rejection

President’s Message Page 3

Hello everyone, We’re hoping everyone had a wonderful summer break. Now it’s back to working on those preschool programs and getting kids to sit still long enough to enjoy what you’ve got to teach them in a structured way. Thankfully they don’t know you’re teaching them something at all times or they could really rebel! Have lots of fun with whatever program or curricu-­lum you’re using. One that Lori came across over the summer that has a lot of helpful stuff is 123LearnCurriculum.com. Take a peek at it and see what you think. Welcome back to all that have sent in their membership fees already. You’re awesome! Thank you for your continued support. We are so hap-­py to have you back. Because I was so late in sending out the renewal forms, we are giving a grace period of October 1st to send them in. Please send yours in today if you haven’t done so already. As of October 1st, we’ll have no choice but to drop names from the referral lists if we haven’t re-­ceived yours back by then to be fair to those that have. Mark your calendars. We recently secured the room at CCA for our annu-­al conference on Saturday February 20th. It’s always such a fun day and we feel we have some pretty great speakers lined up so far. We’re back to having our regularly scheduled meetings. It was great to see so many of you in attendance for the Colorado Shines workshops and the Safe Sleep classes. I’m currently working on getting fireman Bill to come and talk to us about kids’ curiosity of fire in October. We look for-­ward to seeing many of you at the upcoming meetings. Thank you so sincerely for starting another preschool year with the wee ones and giving them the brain food they need and crave. Have lots of joyful experiences with it. Now, let’s get to work ! Have a happy day, Patty

Page 4 Childhood Fears and Anxieties Experts describe how parents can help when their child is afraid. By Annie Stuart; WebMD Feature

Things that go bump in the night. The bane of Miss Muffet's existence. A teacher's harsh rebuke. What do they all have in common? Plenty: They're all typical childhood anxieties and fears.

Nothing to worry (too much) about. But try telling that to your child! As a parent, you can make a big difference in how well your child handles common worries like these. Here are a few ideas that may help.

The Many Sides of a Child's Fears Not all fear is bad. In fact, a little fear serves as an insurance policy. "Without fear, we'd jump headlong into things we shouldn't," says Tamar E. Chansky, PhD, author of Freeing Your Child from Anxiety. Chansky is also director of the Chil-­dren's Center for OCD and Anxiety in Plymouth Meeting, Pa.

Some fear is evolutionary in nature, says Chansky. For example, many children -- and adults -- contin-­ue to fear things outside their experience. Their brains are wired to protect them from snakes, for example, even though the average person rarely encounters a slithery serpent, venomous or not. Some children experience anxiety disorders, often a strong emotional response to an intense experi-­ence. But mostly, a child's fears are a predictable rite of passage.

Easing Fears in Infants or Toddlers

In the ideal situation, an infant's world is framed by parental security and a sense of calm. Anything that disrupts that -- a loud noise or a stranger, for example -- creates fear, says Chansky. One sim-­ple thing you can do to maintain calm is to estab-­lish a predictable routine. Also, minimize the num-­bers of caretakers in your child's life. Strong bond-­ing with your child -- through regular touch, eye contact, and talking or singing -- cre-­ates a foundation of trust, helping to inoculate your child against future anxiety, too.

Easing Fears in Preschoolers

As their world expands, preschoolers continue to fear new places and people. New exposures bring fear of the unexpected, Chansky tells WebMD.

"Some of this is the result of concrete experiences, but some of it is due to their developing imagination." Being able to imagine that there really isn't anything lurking in that dark closet is a wonderful accomplishment, she says. But, at this age, they haven't quite mastered the skill enough to know how to calm themselves.

Kristin Lagattuta, PhD, assistant psychology professor at the University of California at Davis, does research with preschoolers. She studies how they make connec-­tions between the mind and emotions. Lagattuta ex-­plains that young children around age 4 or 5 do OK tell-­ing the imaginary from the real -- unless it is connected with something fearful. "When the emotion is real, then it is hard for them to determine that the experience that goes with it isn't real, as well."

At any age, break the challenge into small steps, says Chanksy. She suggests tackling that big, dark cave of a closet by turning it into something fun and positive. "By creating a competing emotion," she says, "you help burn out the anxiety." Be creative, says Chansky: Go into the dark and read a book by flashlight. Make five goofy fac-­es, and get out right away. Play 20 questions. This all gets your child into a different frame of mind. Practice often, for the best results.

Dogs are another big fear for preschoolers, says Chan-­sky. Dogs are often big, loud jumpers -- not a good com-­bination for small ones.

Again, Chansky suggests approaching the fear in steps. Resist the temptation either to overprotect or to prompt with, "It's fine, come on!" says Chansky. Instead, give your child opportunities for direct, safe experiences. Talk to a dog's owner and ask, "Is the dog friendly? Can we say 'hi'?" suggests Chansky. "Or, ask your child, 'Is the dog's tail wagging? That's the sign of a happy dog.'" If you have a friend with a dog, let the "sleeping dog lie" -- and let your child observe. That allows a safe entrée to the world of dogs.

Come on get happy.

Page 5

Through her research, Lagattuta has learned that chil-­dren as young as 3 or 4 may know that anticipating the future can cause worry.

"They understand that negative thoughts can make you feel bad before they understand that positive thoughts can help you feel good, which happens around age 7," she says. Despite this awareness, young preschoolers lack the attentive powers to redi-­rect their thoughts, which may explain why trying to talk your young child out of her fears is unproductive. With her own 4-year-old, Lagattuta used a more tangi-­ble aid -- having her child draw pictures in a "happy journal," to which she added words as she got older.

Easing Fears in School-Aged Children

An explosion of knowledge and experience during the school years introduces children to more real-world dangers: fire drills, burglars, storms, and wars. Realism begins to set in.

Don't always assume you know the precise source of your child's fears, however. If your child shuns public pools, is it really the water and drowning she's afraid of? Or, is it the lifeguard's whistle? The only way to know is to ask.

With younger children, you can draw them out -- literal-­ly. Have them draw two pictures: One is a picture of themselves in the scary situation with a thought "worry bubble" that tells what they're thinking about them-­selves. Then have them draw a second picture of themselves in the same situation, but with a "smart bubble" that has calmer, more realistic thoughts.

A child who's afraid of a teacher's rejection might say, "The teacher will send me to the principal if I forget my homework." But the "smart bubble" might say, "My friend, Alex, did forget his homework and the teacher only asked him to write himself a reminder."

This technique helps kids make the connection be-­tween how they feel when they're telling themselves these two very different stories, says Chansky.

Children who are afraid of natural disasters might also shift into a different mindset by teaching their parents what they've learned at school about storms, torna-­does, or earthquakes. This helps them solidify a differ-­ent way of looking at the situation.

Chanksy explains that these techniques work well for children who are more cognitively oriented. For kids who are physically tense, worry a lot at night, and have trouble sleeping, relaxation tech-­niques may be just the ticket.

Lori Lite, a certified chil-­dren's meditation facilitator, discovered the merits firsthand with her own children. One child was hyperactive and chronically ill. And another was experiencing stress-related night terrors. By de-­veloping her own stories that incorporated deep-breathing, affirmations, and muscular relaxation, she was able to greatly help her own children. Today, she creates and distributes products like these, through her web site, LiteBooks.net.

"The benefit is that you don't have to go to a class. You don't have to have a degree. You don't have to have a lot of money," says Lite. "All you need to do is turn on a CD or read a book."

General Guidelines for Any Age

When your child is afraid -- whether at age 5 or 15 -- remember to approach the fears with re-­spect. Chansky suggests following these basic guidelines:

x Don't try to talk your child out of being afraid.

x Stay calm and confident. How you talk to your child about fears is as important as what you say.

x When helping your child to confront fears, find out what feels comfortable. Don't force your child to do more than that. However, don't give your child a total "out." Complete avoidance isn't the answer for anxiety.

x Practice coping responses in a variety of ways: with drawing, stuffed animals, or role-playing.

x Reward efforts -- big or small.

Page 6

Getting Your Preschooler to Listen to You An article for Parents, Caregivers, and ECE Teachers Preschoollearningonline.com As an Early Childhood Educator I have had many parents approach me and ask this question: “How do you get my child to listen to you, they won’t do that for me, or, they don’t listen to me like that.” The answer is simple. No means no. Now before you roll your eyes and say, “I’ve heard that before, I’ve tried it and it doesn’t work.” You need to read what I have tried and I guarantee will work. I was a supply teacher for a while and would cover vacations and maternity leaves and sick days at a daycare. So I got tested really badly from children. Why wouldn’t I, I was a new teacher that wasn’t there everyday so they wanted to test me to see what they would get away with. One day in particular I had set out the teeter-totter for the children on the playground (among other toys to play with). One of the daycare rules that the children know very well is that when they are on the teeter-totter with a friend, they are not supposed to jump off the teeter-totter while they have their friend on the other end, up in the air. They know that their friend will end up slamming down to the ground and could be injured. I observed one young boy do it to one of his friends. So I reminded him that we weren’t supposed to do that. About 15 minutes later I saw him do it again.

As a Parent or ECE Teacher – What would you do?

A. Give him 2 more chances? B. Remove him from the teeter-totter and let him play somewhere else? C. Keep reminding him of the rules hoping he will stop? D. Ignore the situation;; he’s just doing it for the attention. He will stop if I look the other way. E. None of the above. The answer is E. All the choices I gave are what I see being done so often with some parents and also some day care providers I have worked with. If I had done A-D, I was keeping the child in the air at high risk for getting a tooth knocked out, or falling hard to ground and possibly biting his tongue or lip severely. And as for letter B, I would be putting the other children at risk as the child who jumped off the teeter-totter seemed to be in the mood to try and hurt someone. Not too mention he was deliberately disobeying a school rule that was known well and had been repeated to all children. What did I do? I immediately removed the child from the area by holding his hand and walking him to a chair set in a quiet area away from the other children. He was yelling and screaming that he didn’t want to go on time out. So I got down to eye level with him and calmly said, “You chose to go on time out.” He then yelled, “No I didn’t.” So I calmly said,” Yes”, when you dropped your friend from the teeter-totter you were telling me that you wanted to go on time out because you know that we get time outs for breaking school rules, especially when they can hurt our other friends. He didn’t like what I said very much so he got up from time out and started to walk away. So I directed him back to the chair. He got up again and walked away, so I again directed him back to the chair. He did this about 4-5 times. What did I do to show him I was in charge? I didn’t give up. In many situations, by the third or fourth time I’ve seen parents give up because they think it’s hopeless. That’s exactly what the child wants you to think. They are testing you to see what they can get away with. So if you give up, they know exactly what to do next time, what buttons to push, and how long it will take before you give up and give in to what they want. Back to the situation. I calmly said to him, “I can do this all day if you want, but then you will miss out on play time outside with your friends.” He didn’t like that very much so he just sat in the chair and yelled at me some more. He said he hated me and that he hated school.

Page 6

How do you feel when your child tells you they hate you when you discipline them by time-out or loss of privileges? Many parents take it to heart and think that their child really won’t love them anymore or have a grudge against them forever, or are harming them by making them so angry, and they cringe when they hear their child say such harsh words to them. The big thing to remember and the hardest thing to do is, take it with a grain of salt. You are the adult, you make the rules to be followed, not broken. If they start to break the rules and get away with it, you are basically telling them not to listen to you, and that they are the ones making the rules. Your rules don’t really matter if you don’t care about them. When the child said he hated me and school I immediately said, “But I love you, and the school wouldn’t be the same if you weren’t here.” I then asked him why he dropped his friend off the teeter-totter when he knew what the rules were. He just sat there and ignored me. So I asked him again. He again didn’t answer. So I said, “I guess you’re not ready to talk to me, you can stay on time out until you’re ready to answer my question.” He just sat there and got angry all over again. Notice he just sat there? He did not try to get up again because of how I handled the situation mentioned earlier. He knew he was not in charge of being able to get up when he wanted. When he had calmed down I went over and asked him again why he dropped his friend off the teeter-totter when he knew what the rules were. He again ignored me. I didn’t bother asking a second time. This time I didn’t say anything further, I just walked away. He got all upset again so I left him to settle down. He finally said to me, I’m ready to talk now. But this time I said to him, “I’m not ready now. I came up to talk to you twice and you ignored me. I will come back when I feel ready again.” He didn’t make much of a fuss this time. He just kind of crossed his arms and huffed and puffed. When I saw he was all calm again I went over and said, “Are you ready to get this over with?” He said, “Yes.” As I was talking to him he was looking on the ground and looking behind me and looking at the wall. So I said, “Please look at me when I am talking to you so I know you are paying attention.” He refused to do so. So I said, “I guess I will leave again and come back when you are ready to look at me when I talk.” He said, “No, I’m ready, I’m ready.” So I asked him, “Why did you jump off of the teeter-totter and let your friend fall to the ground?” He said, “Because it’s fun.” I replied, “It may seem fun but would it be fun if it happened to you?” He said,”No.” I explained again what the dangers of getting hurt by doing this were. He looked at me while I spoke to him and when I was done I asked him to repeat what the dangers were. He repeated them to me. I said to him, “We have these rules because we love all of you and don’t want any of you to get hurt.” I then said he could go play with his friends. Needless to say, when I returned to cover positions in that classroom, I NEVER had to talk to him again about dropping his friends off the teeter-totter. So, what about the fact that the child said he hated me? Well, for about the next 20 minutes or so he kept his dis-tance from me. Then about an hour later he told me he loved me. I gave him a big hug and told him I loved him too. Whenever I covered a position in that room after that situation, he was one of the first ones to run up to me and give me a hug. He has told me he loves me on different occasions during classroom routines, just out of the blue. I don’t want you to think he was the only one I dealt with in such a firm way. That’s how I deal with all the children that act out in anger by biting, throwing things, hurting their friends on purpose and also purposely breaking rules. I have stood my ground though;; I don’t treat any child differently. No one gets special privileges;; no one gets away with something another child might not. On many occasions I have been complimented on how in control I am able to keep a classroom, how the children listen to what I say, and how much fun we have as a class. It works, it really does. If I didn’t believe it or experience it first hand, I wouldn’t write it.

Page 6

What are some effective key points of this situation that made it work? 1. I got down to the child’s eye level. 2. I stayed calm during the entire situation. 3. I didn’t give in to anything. I made the situation go the way I wanted it to go. 4. I didn’t give up. I stood my ground until my point was understood and made. 5. No matter how I was feeling inside I had patience and didn’t let the child make me loose control of my emo-­tions or the situation. Now there are probably things going on in your mind like: 1. Why did you make such a big deal over the teeter-totter? 2. I don’t have the time to do all that. 3. I don’t think I could have the patience for it. Let’s go through them one at a time. #1. If you stop and think about it, the big deal really wasn’t over the teeter-totter. It became a situation where he wanted to take control and get his way. It took me only a few minutes at the end of this whole ordeal to resolve the teeter-totter incident. Everything in between was a power struggle where he wanted to be in control and see what he could get away with doing. #2. It will not be such a big deal for every situation. Ever since that one incident with that child, he knows I don’t give chances. I give one reminder and then he will have to deal with the consequences of his actions. Anytime he does something deliberately that he is not supposed to, he respects my role as teacher and knows I won’t let him off with just an easy, “Please don’t do that again,” and then let him on his way. I am able to deal with him within minutes and have the issue resolved. Most of the time, I don’t even have to get to the actual time out. If I see him starting to get sneaky like he’s going to do something, all I have to say is, “I wouldn’t do that unless you want a time out.” 9 times out of 10 he stops and I direct him to another activity. #3. No patience? After a long day of working and dealing with miserable people and bosses and road rage and everything else we deal with everyday, who has any patience at the end of the day. The thing to keep in mind is, when dealing with your family, your precious children, don’t you want them to have a loving respect for you? It is hard, trust me. Do you think it was easy for me to do what I did above? I was fuming inside, I mean fuming. I felt like running around the block about 10 times just to let my steam out. But are we as adults going to let children get us to the point where we can’t control our own emotions? We need to be role models. We need to teach them respect, listening to others, that there are rules in life that will have to be followed and it starts in the home. If our children have no respect in the home, they definitely won’t have it outside of the home. Try your best. It’s not easy. The faster you practice these things, the sooner you get the hard part out of the way, and you will find more peace in your household and receive more love from your children. It may not happen the first time, but it will. Don’t give in. If you really want this to work stand firm and don’t give in. If I can do it, you can too. © Marisa Robinson (R.E.C.E)

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EXECUTIVE BOARD

VOLUNTEERS:

President: Patty 303-745-6558 Secretary: Carol 303-363-6634 Treasurer: Lori 303-794-7278 Newsletter: Sheri 303-507-4909 Education Coordinator: Patty 303-745-6558

Referrals:

Zip Codes 80010, 80011, 80012, 80013, 80014, 80015, 80016, 80017, 80018

Patty 303-745-6558

Zip Codes 80110, 80113, 80120, 80123, 80125

Rose 303-730-2753 Zip Codes 80111, 80112

Liz 303-220-7626

Zip Codes 80121

Diana 303-793-0825

Zip Codes 80122

Mary 303-221-0007

Resource and referral:

Childcare Innovations: (provider updating) 303-969-9666 HUMAN SERVICES Main Line 303-866-5958 www.coloradoofficeofearlychildhood.com

ACFCCA Main Line Number: 303-246-5146

licensing:

Arapahoe County Early Childhood Council 6436 S. Racine Circle, Ste 100 Centennial, CO 80111 720-974-9630

Other county referrals:

A Caregiver Network: 720-870-1161 Adams: 303-451-1061 Denver: 303-756-8901 (Mary Jo) Jefferson: 303-969-8772 Douglas: douglascountychildcare.com

+++ If you need any telephone numbers that are not listed on this page, please call Patty at 303-745-6558 for more information. Thank you +++

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Arapahoe County Family Child Care Association P.O. Box 473172 Aurora, CO 80047 303-246-5146 president@accfcca.org www.acfcca.org

Dedicated to Enriching The Lives of Children

ACFCCA Mission Statement

Our mission statement is to support childcare providers and the communities they serve by providing educa-tional opportunities, outreach programs, and legislative support. In order to ensure that the association and its mission remain vital, financial stability, growth and continuous organizational improvements will be specifically targeted as part of what we do.

The Lifeline newsletter is a publication of the Arapahoe County Family Child Care Association. ACFCCA assumes no responsibility for, nor en-dorses the articles, opinions, or advertising listed herein. Deadline to submit ads or articles is the 15th of each month. Mail information to the above address for inclusion. The editor reserves the right to refuse any submission. Submission does not guarantee inclusion.

ACFCCA members are quality child-care providers with their community’s childcare needs at heart

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