shaping masculinity

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©2004 Institute of Psychoanalysis The shaping of masculinity: Revisioning boys turning away from their mothers to construct male gender identity MICHAEL J. DIAMOND 615 Hanley Way , Los Angeles, CA 90049 -1931, USA — [email protected] (Final version accepted 9 June 2003) This paper offers an understanding of the nature of the internalization processes involved in the shaping of male gender ident ity founded on the boy’ s uniqu e stru ggles in separating from his mother . The u nderpinning for the initial development of a sense of masculinity is recon sidered as the author question s the widely held idea of Greenson an d Stoller that a boy normativel y has to ‘ dis-identify’ from his mother to create his gend er identity . Import rather is placed on the conscious and uncon sciou s aspec ts of the mother’ s (and fat her’ s) pre-oe dipal and oe dipal relationship with their little boy in order better to und erstand the nature of the boy’ s uniq ue identications and subsequent sense of masculinity. Both the security of the boy’s attachment to his mother, in providing the foundation for a transitional turning to an ‘other’, and the mother’s capacity to reect upon and recognize her own, as well as the father’s and her son’s, subjectivity and maleness, are crucial in comprehending boys’ ‘attachment-individuation’ process. Likewise, the unconscious paternal and maternal imagos and identications of both the boy’s mother and father, as well as the father’s pre-oedipal relationship with his little boy and the boy’s mother, are extremely signicant in shaping a son’s gender identity. The author argues that these early maternal (and paternal) identi cations live on in e very male and continue to impact the sense of maleness in a dialectical interplay throughout the life span. A maturing gender identity develops from integrating these early, pre- oedipal maternal identications that no longer need be repudiated nor defensively organized as p olarized gender splitting. Keywords: masculinity, boy–mother relationship, male gender ident ity, pre- oedipal gende r identications, internalization, identi cation, disidenti cation, attach ment- in dividuation, separation-ind ividuation, reective funct ioning, phallic and geni tal ego ideals, phallic narcissism This paper reconceptualizes the nature of the internalization processes involved in the shaping of a boy’s gend er identity as it is founded on his unique st ruggles in separating from his mother. As Fast (1999) notes, current psychoanalytic conceptions of men’s gender development rely on a normative model initially espoused by Greenson (1968) and Stoller (1964, 1965, 1968). This model argues that, in infancy, boys develop in a feminine direction as a result of their ‘primiti ve, symbiotic identication with a mothering person’ ( Greenson, 1968, p. 372) and thus, by age 2, boys have establishe d a primary femininity. In order to achieve a masculine gender identity, boys must subsequently disidentify with their mothers and counteridentify with their fathers. Moreover, this Int J Psychoanal 2004; 85:359–380

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