sherman alexie - flight.rtf

7/27/2019 Sherman Alexie - Flight.rtf

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Flight

A Novel

Sherman Alexie


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To Diane


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"Po-tee-weet?"

--Kurt Vonnegut,

Slaughterhouse-Five


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Contents

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Six

Seven

Eight

Nine

Ten

Eleven

Twelve

Thirteen

Fourteen

Fifteen

Sixteen

Seventeen

Eighteen

Nineteen


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Twenty

Twenty-one

A!nowle"g#ent$

A %iogra&hy of Sher#an Alexie


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One

'A(( )E *+TS

Everyo"y all$ #e *it$ That'$ not #y real na#e, of our$e )y real na#e i$n't

i#&ortant Thi$ #orning, + wa!e in a roo# + "o not reogni.e + often wa!e

in $trange roo#$ +t'$ what + "o The alar# lo! ee&$ at #e + !now

+ "i"n't $et that thing + alway$ $et alar# lo!$ to &lay wa!e-u&

#u$i So#ething goo" li!e the /hite Stri&e$ or P0 1arvey or 2eah2eah 2eah$ or Kanye /e$t So#ething to $tart your rain, oo! your

gut$, an" get you angry an" horny at the $a#e ti#e So#eti#e$ +

wa!e to #y #other'$ favorite #u$i, li!e )arvin 3aye or %loo", Sweat

4 Tear$ 2e$, there u$e" to e a an" alle" %loo", Sweat 4 Tear$

+$n't that the #o$t a#a.ing na#e for a ro! an" you ever

hear"? /hen it o#e$ right "own to it, everything in the worl" i$aout loo", $weat, an" tear$ So that na#e i$ &erfet No, it '$ al#o$t

&erfet The &erfet na#e woul" e %loo", Sweat, Tear$ 4 'o#e, ut +won"er if &eo&le woul" uy a 'D y a an" na#e" $o gra&hially

All of the guy$ in %loo", Sweat 4 Tear$ ha" long $tringy hair an"grea$y ear"$ an" loo"$hot eye$ They were ugly %a! in the

$eventie$, all of the ro!$ $tar$ were ugly An" they were great#u$iian$ Do ugly guy$ o#&en$ate for their ugline$$ y eo#inggreat guitar &layer$? Or "o ertain guitar$ hoo$e their ho#ely &layer$

li!e Exaliur ho$e (anelot? + wi$h + live" a! in the $eventie$ A$ugly a$ + a#, + #ight have een the igge$t ro! $tar in the worl"

+ love %loo", Sweat 4 Tear$ eau$e they're ugly an" eau$e

they ro! har" An" eau$e they were #y #other'$ favorite ro!

an" 1er favorite $ong wa$ the one alle" "+ (ove 2ou )ore Than2ou'll Ever Know"

She u$e" to $ing that to #e when + wa$ a ay + re#e#er her$inging it to #e + !now +'# not $u&&o$e" to re#e#er it %ut + "o

)y #e#ory i$ $trange that way + often re#e#er &eo&le +'ve

never #et an" event$ an" &lae$ +'ve never $een

+ "on't thin! +'# $o#e #y$tial a$tar" + 5u$t thin! + &ay

attention to the "etail$

+ re#e#er #y #other an" father $low-"aning to that %loo",Sweat 4 Tear$ $ong + re#e#er how #y father whi$&er-$ang "+ (ove

2ou )ore Than 2ou'll Ever Know"to #y #other + re#e#er how they


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She leane" lo$e to #e She $#elle" li!e igarette$ an"inna#on gu#

"1ere'$ the thing,"$he $ai" "2ou've never learne" how to e afully reali.e" hu#an eing"

0e$u$, what !in" of overe"uate" ith $ay$ that to a !i"?

She #a"e #e $oun" li!e + wa$ rai$e" y wolve$ when, in fat, +haven't een rai$e" y anyo"y

No, that'$ not true

+'ve een &artially rai$e" y too #any &eo&le +'ve live" in twenty "ifferent fo$ter ho#e$ an" atten"e" twenty-

two "ifferent $hool$ + own only two &air$ of &ant$ an" three $hirt$an" four &air$ of un"erwear an" one a$eall hat an" three &air$ of

$o!$ an" three &a&era! novel$ #Grapes of $rath, $inter in the

Blood,an" %he &ead 'one(an" the &hotogra&h$ of #y #other an"father

)y entire life fit$ into one $#all a!&a! + "on't !now any other Native A#erian$, exe&t the ho#ele$$

+n"ian$ who wan"er aroun" "owntown Seattle + li!e to run away fro##y fo$ter ho#e$ an" get "run! with tho$e $treet +n"ian$ 2eah, +'# a

"run!, 5u$t li!e #y father +'# a goo" "run!, too 3ifte", you #ight$ay + an out"rin! any of tho$e ho#ele$$ +n"ian$ an" re#ain on #y

feet an" $till tell #y $torie$ Tho$e $treet +n"ian$ en5oy #y o#&any

+'# goo" at egging + #a!e goo" oin an" uy whi$!ey an" eer for

all of u$ to "rin!

Of our$e, tho$e wan"ering +n"ian$ are not the only +n"ian$ inthe worl", ut they're the only one$ who &ay attention to #e

The rih an" e"uate" +n"ian$ "on't give a $hit aout #e They&reten" + "on't exi$t They $ay, %he drunken )ndian is *ust a racist

cartoon+They $ay, %he lonely )ndian is *ust a ghost in a ghost story+ + wi$h + oul" learn how to hate tho$e rih +n"ian$ + wi$h + oul"

ignore the# %ut + want the# to &ay attention to #e + wanteveryo"y to &ay attention to #e

So + $ho&lift an"y an" foo" an" #aga.ine$ an" igarette$ an"

oo!$ an" 'D$ an" anything that an fit in #y &o!et$ The &oliealway$ ath #e an" &ut #e in 5uvenile 5ail

+ get into argu#ent$ an" fi$tfight$ with everyo"y

+ get $o angry that + go lin" an" "eaf an" #ute + li!e to $tart fire$ An" +'# a$ha#e" that +'# a fire $tarter

+'# a$ha#e" of everything, an" +'# a$ha#e" of eing a$ha#e"

Thi$ #orning, a$ + ount #y .it$ in the #irror, +'# a$ha#e" that

+ an't re#e#er the na#e$ of #y new fo$ter #other an" father

+'ve only een living here in thi$ $trange hou$e, with it$ $trange

&in! athroo#, for two "ay$

+ an't re#e#er the na#e$ of #y new fo$ter &arent$'two real


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!i"$, either, or the na#e$ of the other five fo$ter !i"$ /hen it o#e$ to fo$ter &arent$, there are only two !in"$7 the

goo" ut #e$$y &eo&le who are trying to hel& !i"$ or the a$olutewelfare vulture$ who li!e to a$h govern#ent he!$ every #onth

+t'$ ea$y to tell what !in" of &eo&le #y late$t fo$ter &arent$ are

Their real !i"$ have new $hoe$8 the fo$ter !i"$ are wearing ra& $hoe$ %ut who are$, right? +t'$ not li!e +'# going to e here #uh

longer +'# never in any one &lae long enough to are There'$ thi$ law alle" the +n"ian 'hil" /elfare At that '$

$u&&o$e" to &rotet half-ree" or&han$ li!e #e +'# only $u&&o$e" to

e &lae" with +n"ian fo$ter &arent$ an" fa#ilie$ %ut +'# not an

offiial +n"ian )y +n"ian "a""y gave #e hi$ loo!$, ut he wa$ never

legally e$tali$he" a$ #y father

Sine +'# not a legal +n"ian, the govern#ent an &ut #ewherever they want So they &ut #e with anyo"y who will ta!e #e

)o$tly they'

re white &eo&le + $u&&o$e that #a!e$ $en$e + a# halfwhite An" it'$ not li!e any of thi$ #a!e$ any "ifferene + 've ha" two

+n"ian fo$ter father$, an" they were igger 5er!$ than any of #yeighteen white fo$ter father$

Of our$e, + a$$u#e" tho$e +n"ian #en woul" auto#atially eetter father$ to #e than any white guy, ut + wa$ wrong

+ ha" thi$ one +n"ian fo$ter "a""y, E"gar, who wa$ great at the

eginning 1e wa$ a 5o!, a #u$ular #ahine 1e too! #e toSeahaw!$ ga#e$ /e &laye" touh footall an" one-on-one hoo&$ in

the &ar! 1e ought #e oo!$ One ti#e, he gave #e thi$ a#a.ing re#ote ontrol air&lane, an

F-9: fighter 5et + love" that thing +t wa$ the #o$t a#a.ing gift + '"ever reeive" +t #u$t have o$t three hun"re" "ollar$ E"gar ought

one for hi#$elf, too, an" we "rove out to thi$ re#ote air&lane fiel" inthe 'a$a"e )ountain foothill$

"+'ve een raing &lane$ for year$,"E"gar $ai" "So "on't ta!e it

too har" if you lo$e, o!ay?"

"O!ay,"+ $ai", ut + "i"n't &lan on lo$ing

/e &ilote" our &lane$ aroun" thi$ irular our$e #ar!e" yflag$ an" lan"e" the# on a gra$$y runway

+ eat hi# three rae$ in a row

"/ow,

"he $ai"

"%eginner

'$ lu! i$ $o#ething el$e, huh?

"

"+ gue$$,"+ $ai" + oul" tell he wa$ getting #a" An" if + were a $#arter !i" or a

"i&lo#at, + woul" have let hi# win the next rae %ut + oul"n't "o

that /ho want$ to lo$e?

"There #u$t e $o#ething wrong with #y &lane,"E"gar $ai" "2ou want to $with?"+ $ai"

"2eah"


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So we $withe" &lane$ an" + eat hi# two #ore ti#e$, lan"ing#y &lane in the gra$$ #ore 6ui!ly an" $#oothly than he ever woul"

"There'$ $o#ething wrong with thi$ &lane, too,"E"gar $ai" "2eah, the &ilot,"+ $ai"

E"gar too! #y re#ote ontrol out of #y han"$, taxie" #y &lane

"own the runway, lifte" it into the air, an" flew it full $&ee" into a tree rash+

+ ran over to the &lane, &i!e" it u&, an" $tare" at the "a#ageOne wing wa$ ro!en8 the ru""er wa$ ent8 the #iniature &ilot wa$

#i$$ing hi$ hea" + wa$ $are" an" $a" %ut + oul"n 't $how it +'"alway$ een &uni$he" for $howing e#otion +t '$ e$t to $tay a$ re#ote

a$ tho$e air&lane$ "/hat "o you thin! of that?"E"gar a$!e", an" li&-&ointe" at the

wre! in #y han"$ "Thi$ i$ your&lane,"+ $ai"

2e$, E"gar ha" forgotten we'

" $withe" &lane$ %ut + $u&&o$e it"i"n't #atter eau$e he flew the other &lane into a tree, too

rash+ 1e "i"n't yell or u$$ or get all ra.y E"gar al#ly "e$troye" $ix

hun"re" "ollar$'worth of #o"el air&lane

rash, crash+

+f we'" ha" twenty air&lane$, E"gar woul" have ra$he" all ofthe#, too

So who are$ if E"gar wa$ an +n"ian or not? 1i$ +n"ian i"entity

wa$ o#&letely $eon"ary to hi$ &ri#ary i"entity a$ a &lane-ra$hinga$$hole

2e$, that'$ #y life, a $erie$ of ruel a$tar"$ an" air&lanera$he$ Twenty little air&lane ra$he$ + a# a fla#ing 5et, ra$hing

into eah new fo$ter fa#ily An" here + a#, for the twenty-fir$t ti#e, ra$hing into a $trange

&in! athroo# in a $trange hou$e in a $trange worl", an" all + an "oi$ ount #y .it$ 1ow la#e The only &o$itive thing + an "o i$ hange

their na#e )aye +'ll $tart alling the# $&ot$, li!e the %riti$h "o That

al#o$t #a!e$ .it$ $oun" har#le$$, "oe$n 't it?

+ an hear #y new fo$ter fa#ily + "on't want to $ee the# + wi$h+ oul" $tay in thi$ roo# forever + wi$h + ha" a televi$ion in #y

e"roo# +'ve never #et any &er$on who i$ a$ intere$ting a$ a goo" TV$how

+ never un"er$too" the &eo&le who thin! that TV i$ a" for you +

gue$$ they've never $een the Di$overy 'hannel 2ou an learn$iene, hi$tory, geogra&hy, an" &oliti$ fro# TV +f you want to fin"

$o#e faith in hu#an eing$, 5u$t wath one e&i$o"e of Storm Storieson the /eather 'hannel, an" you'll $ee heroi &eo&le ri$! their live$ to

$ave $tranger$


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+ "on't un"er$tan" hu#an eing$ + "on't un"er$tan" the &eo&lewho ri$! their live$ to $ave $tranger$ + wi$h + !new &eo&le li!e that

Everything + !now aout +n"ian$ ;an" + oul" ea$ily eat


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The other !i"$, the real an" the fa!e one$, all $tare at #e +t'$ ariot of ol" lue eye$ Tho$e !i"$ !now what + '# "oing So#e of the#

alrea"y hate #e for eing a 5er! The re$t of the# are ore" They 've$een it all efore

"3oo" #orning,"the fo$ter father $ay$ again

1e'$ hallenging #e 1e thin!$ he '$ $tronger than + a# 1e'$igger an" taller an" ol"er, $ure, an" ha$ a #illion #ore #u$le$ than+ "o, ut + a# $tronger + a# $tronger than all of #y father$

"/hatever,"+ $ay, for the thir" ti#e

An" + $ay it $low an" har" an" #ean, li!e eah letter wa$ a

u$$wor" An" + "on't #ean the little u$$wor"$ li!e dickan" shit++#ean the ig one$ li!e cockan" cuntan" motherfucker++ thin! it'$

$trange how ur$e wor"$ frighten an" "i$gu$t $o#e &eo&le 2e$, thereare &eo&le afrai" of ertain o#ination$ of vowel$ an" on$onant$

+$n't that hilariou$? Don't tho$e wi#&$ reali.e that eah an" every

wor" only ha$ the &ower an" #eaning you a$$ign to it? +f + "ei"e"thatplopwa$ a "irty wor", an" $tarte" u$ing it to ur$e &eo&le, an"

onvine" enough &eo&le to u$e it a$ a ur$e wor" al$o, it woul"eventually eo#e an o$enity

"1ey,"the fo$ter father $ay$ "(oo! at #e"

1e'$ one hun"re" an" eighty-five &oun"$ of loo", an" + want to

&unh hi# in the aroti" artery "Don't you loo! at #e that way,"he $ay$ "Don't try to $tare #e

"own" Of our$e, + !ee& $taring at hi#

"Sto& $taring at #e,"he $ay$

"Plo&,"+ $ay "/hat "i" you $ay?"

"Plo&&ing &lo&" 0e$u$, + $oun" li!e a &i$$e"-off Dr Seu$$ harater That thought#a!e$ #e laugh

"Are you laughing at #e?"he a$!$

"2ou et your &lo&&ing a$$ +'# laughing at you,"+ $ay

+ !now he want$ to &unh #e "+'# going to $ay goo" #orning one #ore ti#e,"he $ay$ "An" if

you "on't return the favor, you "on 't get to eat rea!fa$t"

2eah, li!e that'$ a real threat 2eah, li!e + haven

't een hungryefore 2eah, li!e + are

"3oo" #orning,"the fo$ter father $ay$

"Fu! you,"+ $ay


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Two

)2 *+TS 3+VE )E $u&er&ower$

After + u$$ out #y new fo$ter father, + &ut on #y a&e an" flyright through the roof of the hou$e

) am 'it an, master of the .niverse! O!ay, + "on't fly + "o"ge the fo$ter father'$ angry $la& at #y

hea", $hove #y fo$ter #other again$t the wall, an" run out the front"oor

+ run the ity $treet$, ran"o#ly turning left an" right an" left

an" right, eau$e it 5u$t feel$ goo" to run + u$e" to "rea# that +oul" run fa$t enough to urn u& li!e a #eteor an" "ro& little &iee$ of

#e all over the worl" + run ;an" urn= until a &olie ar &ull$ u& in front of #e +'# an

a$olute geniu$, $o + turn aroun" an" run the other way 'o#e on, fu.. oy$, you an't ath #e +'# an or&han #eteor

Two o&$ 5u#& out of their rui$er +t ta!e$ the# only thirty-five

$eon"$ to ath #e They ra$h into #e an" $en" #e $&rawling to the $i"ewal!

They try to gra #y ar#$, ut + &unh one of the# in the ear,an" + ite the other o& on the han" They hol" #e "own an" han"uff

#e

+'# fighting an" !i!ing eau$e that'$ what + "o +t'$ how +'#wire" +t'$ #y &rogra##ing + rea" one that if a !i" ha$ enough a"thing$ ha&&en to hi# efore he turn$ five, he '$ $rewe" for the re$t of

hi$ life So that'$ #e, a $rewe" half-ree" who an't "o anything ut$&it an" !i! an" ite an" &unh

"*it$ *it$"one of the o&$ yell$ "'al# "own 'al# "own +t'$

#e +t'$ #e" + reogni.e hi$ voie + !now thi$ guy 1e'$ arre$te" #e a few

"o.en ti#e$ 1e'$ alway$ een &retty ool + tru$t hi# not to hurt #e,

$o + al# "own a little "Offier Dave,"+ $ay "+t'$ goo" to $ee you again"

The o&$ laugh +'# a funny !i", even in han"uff$ "*it$, why you thin! you're $o a"?"Offier Dave a$!$ #e "1ow

o#e you alway$ &unh the #o#$ an" never the "a"$?" "+ 5u$t &unhe" your &artner in the ear,"+ $ay "An" he'$ a "u"e,

+ thin!" "2ou &unh li!e a girl,"that o& $ay$

"Fu! you,"+ $ay "+ "i"n't &unh that fo$ter #o# + &u$he" her


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(oo! in the "itionary There'$ a ig "ifferene etween &unh an"&u$h"

"Tell that to 0u"ge +relan","Offier Dave $ay$ "+'# $ure $he'lla&&reiate the voaulary le$$on" Dave i$ a ig white "u"e %ut he'$ got one of tho$e gentle voie$

li!e he'$ tal!ing you "own fro# the le"ge of a tall uil"ing )o$t o&$are &retty ool, + gue$$ +t '$ a tough 5o An" #o$t of the# 5u$t !ee&

6uiet an" "o the wor!

+ "on't li!e o&$, o!ay? + 5u$t have re$&et for the# A tiny it of

re$&et + thin! a lot of the# ha" "run!, $hitty, or #i$$ing father$, 5u$t

li!e + "i" + thin! #any of the# en"ure" haoti an" rutal hil"hoo"$,$o they eo#e o&$ eau$e they want to reate or"er in the worl"

An" tho$e o&$, forever re#in"e" of their troule" youth, often try tore$ue !i"$ li!e #e 3oo" o&$ are lifeguar"$ on the $hore$ of (a!e

Fu!e"

(i!e Offier Dave 1e'

$ never $ai" #uh aout hi$ life, ut + antell he'$ $arre" An" he !now$ +'# $arre", too The woun"e" alway$

reogni.e the woun"e" /e an $#ell eah other

"2ou an" #e aren't $o "ifferent,"Offier Dave ha$ $ai" #ore than

one "/e're li!e the $un an" #oon, !i" Different o"ie$, ut we 're

oriting in the $a#e $!y" 2e$, Offier Dave i$ a &oet 1e even for#e" a &olie offier

&oetry $la# tea# an" #eta&horially attle" again$t tea#$ of

firefighter$, 5u"ge$, "efen$e attorney$, an" ho#ele$$ !i"$ Dave i$ o!ay

Of our$e, &lenty of o&$ 5u$t li!e to e a$$hole$, an" having a

a"ge #ean$ you get to e a &rofe$$ional a$$hole "2ou thin! you'll get Bu$$ell a$ your lawyer?"Offier Dave a$!$

#e

Bu$$ell i$ a &uli "efen"er, the talle$t, $!innie$t, white$t lawyer

in Seattle An" #an, oh, #an, "oe$ he tal! fa$t + #aye ath everythir" or fourth wor" 1e'$ ra.y goo", + gue$$, ut + won"er why he

"oe$n't go #a!e ton$ of #oney at $o#e or&oration or $o#ething +

gue$$ he'$ yet another lifeguar" who li!e$ to $ave "rowner$ li!e #e +

et you anything that Bu$$ell ha$ aout twenty-nine $tray at$ $tin!ingu& hi$ hou$e

"+'# an +n"ian,

"+ $ay to Offier Dave,

"an" we hatelawyer$

"

The o&$ laugh They !ee& laughing a$ they "rive #e to !i" 5ail

in Seattle'$ 'entral Di$trit The 'D u$e" to e a la! fol!$ 'neighorhoo" Now it'$ fille" with rih white &eo&le who li!e to &reten"

it'$ $till a la! fol!$'neighorhoo" %ut the !i" 5ail i$ $till here, rightaro$$ the $treet fro# a fany offee $ho&

Staru!$ an !i$$ #y $hiny re" a$$ They &ut #e in a hol"ing ell with a la! !i" an" a white !i"


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an" a 'hine$e !i" /e're the Cnite" Nation$ of 5uvenile "elin6uent$ "/here you fro#?"the la! !i" a$!$ #e, eau$e he want$ to

!now what gang + run with an" if he $houl" fight #e or not "+'# fro# a little town alle" Eat )e,"+ $ay

The white !i" an" the 'hine$e !i" laugh The la! !i" "oe$n't

"o anything 1e'$ alrea"y eaten y #y wor"$ an" "oe$n 't want to geteaten y #y fi$t$ + an tell he i$n't a ganganger 1e'$ 5u$t an

or"inary $a" la! !i" + oul" $teal hi$ a$!etall $hoe$ right off hi$

feet if + wante" to, ut + "on 't +'# a nie guy An" tho$e fany $hoe$#ight e the only valuale thing the !i" own$

"/hat'$ your na#e?"the white !i" a$!$ #e

"*it$,"+ $ay

"+'ve hear" of you,"he $ay$

"/hat you hear?" "+ hear you're tough"

"

Tougher than you,"

+ $ay There'$ no rea$on to tal! after that /hy woul" we tal!? /e're

oy$ %oy$ aren't $u&&o$e" to tal! So we $it there in our oy $ilene Pretty $oon, the 'hine$e !i"'$ &arent$ &i! hi# u& an" $&an! hi#

li!e he wa$ five year$ ol", an" the la! !i" get$ tran$ferre" toanother ell

An" then it'$ the white !i" an" #e

1e $it$ on the floor at one en" of the ell + $it on the floor at theother en" 1e $tare$ at #e for a long ti#e 1e'$ studying#e

"/hat are you loo!ing at?"+ a$!

"2our fae,"he $ay$

"/hat aout #y fae?" "+t "oe$n't have to e li!e that,"he $ay$ "They got all $ort$ of

#e"iine now + $ee it on TV They got #irale .it $tuff 'lear your fae

right u&" +'ve $een tho$e o##erial$ too The one$ where fa#ou$ &eo&le

li!e P Di""y an" 0e$$ia Si#&$on an" %roo!e Shiel"$ tal! aout their.it$ an" how they got ure" y thi$ #irale fae rea# #a"e fro#

$are" )exian #u" an" the $weet $&it of a &ro# 6ueen An", yeah,

+'" love to uy that $tuff, ut it o$t$ fifty u!$ a 5ar The$e "ay$, you$ee a !i" with a" ane, an" you !now he'$ &oor Bih !i"$ "on't get

ane any#ore Not really They 5u$t get a few $&ot$ now an" again "/hy "o you are $o #uh aout #y fae?"+ a$! the white !i"

"2ou $o#e !in" of fag?"

+ "on't are if he'$ a fag + 5u$t !now that fag i$ a &owerful in$ult

"0u$t tal!ing,"he $ay$ "+'# not loo!ing for a fight"

An" the thing i$, + an tell he'$ not loo!ing for a fight 1e $tare$

at #e with kindness+Beal !in"ne$$ + 5u$t #et the guy, an" + feel li!ehe are$ aout #y $!in an" #e


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1i$ o#&lexion i$ $o lear that it'$ tran$luent + an $ee the luevein$ running through hi$ $!in li!e river$ + have to a"#it, he'$ a goo"-

loo!ing guy +n fat, he'$ &retty li!e a girl Da#n, #aye )'ma fag

"1ow o#e you "on't get .it$?"+ a$! hi#

"%eau$e + &ray,"he $ay$ + laugh har"

"/hat'$ $o funny?"he a$!$

"2ou're one of the# fu!ing 'hri$tian$, aren't you?"+ a$! Tho$e

a$tar"$ are alway$ trying to $ave #e, a &oor +n5un heathen "Are you

going to give #e a ti!et to 1eaven?"+ a$!

An" now thi$ &retty white oy laugh$ har" "%eware of the #anwho$e 3-" i$ in the $!ie$,"he $ay$

"/hat "oe$ that #ean?" "3eorge %ernar" Shaw wrote it"

"

So what?"

"So it #ean$ +'# not 'hri$tian,"he $ay$ "+ hate 'hri$tian$ +

hate )u$li#$ an" 0ew$ an" %u""hi$t$ + hate all organi.e" religion$an" all "i$organi.e" one$, too" "That'$ a lot of hate,"+ $ay

"+ $u&&o$e %ut hate an e e#&owering" "That'$ a ig wor""

"2ou "on't !now what it #ean$, "o you" "+ !now what it #ean$"

"Tell #e, then" Thi$ guy &roaly thin!$ +'# 5u$t another $tu&i" $treet !i" A

"y$lexi "rone in the $oial welfare $y$te# %ut +'# $#art Beally$#art

/ell, o!ay, #aye not that$#art + a# urrently $itting in a 5ail

ell Peo&le go to 5ail for a rea$on /ell, for a ou&le of rea$on$

They're in 5ail eau$e they're $tu&i" enough to o##it ri#e$ An"

eau$e they're $tu&i" enough to get aught An" $o, yeah, #aye + '#

$#art ut +'# al$o "oule-$tuff $tu&i" A"ult$ are alway$ telling #e +

"on't live u& to #y &otential

+ $ay, fu! &otential an" anyo"y who $ay$ that fu!ing wor" to

#e "2ou $oun" li!e a teaher,"+ $ay to the &retty white oy "Or a

&reaher" "An" you $oun" li!e a hil","he $ay$

"/hat are you, #y gran"father?" "+'# wi$e for #y age,"he $ay$, an" laugh$, li!e he '$ #a!ing fun

of hi#$elf, li!e &eo&le have "e$rie" hi# that way efore an" he

thin!$ it'$ goofy


18/129

"1ow ol" are you?"+ a$! "Seventeen 1ow ol" are you?"

"Fifteen" "All right, )r Fifteen,"he $ay$ "Tell #e what it #ean$ to e

e#&owere""

All of a $u""en, + feel the nee" to i#&re$$ thi$ !i" + want hi# toli!e #e )ore than that, + want hi# to a"#ire #e "E#&owere" #ean$ you feel &owerful,"+ $ay

"/ell, ye$, that'$ oviou$,"he $ay$ "%ut how "o you otain thatfeeling of &ower? An" what "o you "o with your &ower after you 've

foun" it?" "+ "on't !now,"+ $ay

1e $#ile$ + an $ee all thirty-two of hi$ teeth

"+ an $how you,"he $ay$


19/129

Three

SCDDEN(2, T1E PBETT2 /1+TE oy i$ #y e$t frien" )aye the

only real frien" of #y life /e tal! for hour$ 1e understands#e 1e'$ only two year$ ol"er,

ut it $ee#$ li!e he'$ live" for two thou$an" year$

+ fall in love with hi# Not ro#antially8 it'$ not aout $ex or

anything &hy$ial li!e that No, thi$ !i" i$ $o#e !in" of 0e$u$ + !nowit'$ $illy An" + !now thi$ !i" "oe$n't even li!e or re$&et 0e$u$--or Allah

or %u""ha or (e%ron 0a#e$ or any other 3-" %ut + really get thefeeling thi$ white !i" oul" $ave #e fro# eing lonely + et he oul"

$ave the whole worl" fro# eing lonely /hen + tell hi# #y #other i$ "ea" an" #y father i$ invi$ile, the

white !i" $ay$, "Santayana $ay$ there i$ no ure for irth an" "eath $oyou etter en5oy the interval"

/hen + tell hi# +'# an +n"ian, he $ay$, "+'# $orry that #y &eo&lenearly "e$troye" your &eo&le Thi$ ountry, the $o-alle" Cnite"

State$, i$ evil An" you +n"ian$ were the only &eo&le who fought

again$t that white evil Everyo"y el$e thin!$ we live in a "e#orayEveryo"y el$e thin!$ we're free"

"+n"ian$ have never een free,"+ $ay "Exatly,"he $ay$ "Do you !now what Te""y Boo$evelt $ai"

aout +n"ian$? 1e $ai", '+ "on't go $o far a$ to thin! that the only goo"+n"ian$ are "ea" +n"ian$, ut + elieve nine out of ten are, an" +

$houl"n't in6uire too lo$ely into the a$e of the tenth '1ow an it e a

"e#oray when &re$i"ent$ tal! li!e that?" /hen + tell hi# + li!e to $tart fire$, he $ay$, "+t'$ wrong to urn

goo" thing$ +f you want to $et fire$, you #u$t urn "own a" thing$Be#e#er, revolution i$ not aout $&ontaneou$ o#u$tion The true

revolutionary #u$t $et hi#$elf afla#e" /hen + tell hi# that + get lonely, he $ay$, "The in"ivi"ual ha$

alway$ ha" to wor! har" to avoi" eing overwhel#e" y the trie +f

you try it, you will e lonely often an" $o#eti#e$ frightene" %ut no&rie i$ too high for the &rivilege of owning your$elf" "/ho $ai" that?"

"Niet.$he" 1e a#a.e$ #e +'ve never !nown anyo"y, e$&eially a !i", who

an tal! li!e hi#

"2ou're $o "a#n $#art,"+ $ay "1ow #any oo!$ have yourea"?"


20/129

"All of the#,"he $ay$ /e laugh

An" he hug$ #e +'# not afrai" of hi# +'# not afrai" that the

o&$ #ight $ee u$ hugging +'# not afrai" of #y$elf for hugging hi#

+'# a fatherle$$ !i" who want$ another teenager to e #y father

Thi$ &retty oy get$ out of 5ail efore + "o, ut he &ro#i$e$ #ehe'll o#e re$ue #e fro# wherever they $en" #e + hate #y ountry There are $o #any rih &eo&le who "on't

$hare their $hit They're li!e $&oile" little ten-year-ol" ullie$ on the&laygroun" They hog the #on!ey ar$ an" the $li"e an" the $ee$aw

An" if you o#&lain even a little it, if you try to get 5u$t one $&in onthe #erry-go-roun", the ullie$ eat the $hit out of you

+ get $o angry $o#eti#e$ that + want to hurt &eo&le + "rea#

aout hurting &eo&le Aout !illing the# + 've alway$ ha" tho$e !in" of

"rea#$

+ have thi$ reurring "rea# where +'

# atta!e" y thi$ gang ofla! #en They're &unhing an" !i!ing #e, an" + thin! +'# going to

"ie %ut $o#ehow + get to #y feet an" turn into a raving #ania +

tear tho$e la! guy$ a&art + !ill the# an" go annial + ri& o&en

tho$e la! guy$'ellie$ an" he$t$ an" eat their liver$ an" lung$ +rea! o&en their $!ull$ an" eat their rain$

Soun"$ rai$t, right? %ut + "on't thin! +'# a rai$t + #ea$ure #en y the ontent of

their harater, not the olor of their $!in, an" + fin" all of the# area$$hole$

A ou&le year$ a!, thi$ !i" &$yhiatri$t tol" #e + have violent

"rea#$ an" fanta$ie$ eau$e +'ve $een $o #uh violene in #y life "2ou "rea# aout !illing an" eating la! guy$,"he $ai",

"eau$e, in A#erian $oiety, la! #en are the #eta&hori

e#o"i#ent of rage an" fear an" &ain" /hat the hell i$ a #eta&hori e#o"i#ent? An" why "o + want

to eat it? The !i" $hrin! tol" #e + wa$ &rogra##e" for violene

"2ou an get etter,"he $ai" "%ut your fir$t re$&on$e will alway$

e to fight To hurt To au$e &ain an" fear"

Doe$n't that 5u$t give you ho&e for #e?

The $hrin! al$o tol" #e + have attah#ent i$$ue$"All you !nowaout i$ a$ene,"he $ai" "An" you're alway$ loo!ing to fill that

a$ene"

An" "o you !now what + $ai" to hi#? "2ou an $ti! your hea"u& your hairy &u$$-fille" a$ene"

1a, ha, ha, ha +$n't that funny? + threw a &un in hi$ fae Ofour$e, it wa$ a violent&un, $o #aye that "otor wa$ right aout #e

)aye +'# "oo#e" to fill #y e#&ty life with fire$ an" fi$t$ )aye + '#


21/129


22/129

1e $#ile$, wal!$ over to the orner, &ull$ $o#ething out of a$a!, an" wal!$ a! to #e

"Thi$ i$ #y na#e,"he $ay$, an" han"$ #e two &i$tol$ One ofthe# loo!$ li!e a regular gun an" the other one loo!$ li!e a Star /ar$

la$er

"That one i$ a thirty-eight $&eial,"the &retty oy $ay$, "an" theother one i$ a &aint gun" +'ve $een &aint-gun o#&etition$ on ESPN, tho$e fa!e fight$

where fat white guy$ run aroun" fa!e attlefiel"$ an" $hoot eah otherwith all$ of Day-3lo "ye

They li!e to fight fa!e war$ eau$e there aren't enough real

one$ +'ve $een real &eo&le get $hot y real gun$ %ut + 've never hel" a

real gun +'ve alway$ hear" an" rea" that gun$ are ol" #etal %ut notthi$ one +t feel$ war# an" o#fortale, li!e a leather reliner $itting in

front of a $ixty-inh 1DTV + laugh again

"/hat'$ funny thi$ ti#e?"he a$!$

"2our na#e i$ 3un$,"+ $ay "That'$ a really $tu&i" na#e" +t'$ hi$ turn to laugh ")y na#e i$n't 3un$,"he $ay$ ")y na#e i$

0u$tie" /e laugh together "That i$ a orny-a$$ na#e,"+ $ay "/here'" you get it?"

"+ gave it to #y$elf,"he $ay$ "%ut + wi$h +'" een given #yna#e y +n"ian$ 2ou guy$ u$e" to give out na#e$ eau$e &eo&le

earne" the# %eau$e they "i" $o#ething a#a.ing An" it wa$ the ol"

&eo&le who gave out tho$e na#e$7 the el"er$, the wi$e one$ + wi$hthe wi$e one$ were $till here" + thin! of the great Oglala Sioux warrior 'ra.y 1or$e, who wa$

given hi$ na#e after he attle" heroially again$t other +n"ian$

2e$, +n"ian$ have alway$ love" to !ill other +n"ian$ +$n't thattwi$te"?

+ thin! of how 'ra.y 1or$e wa$ $&eare" in the $to#ah y a CS'avalry $ol"ier while hi$ e$t frien", (ittle %ig )an, hel" hi$ ar#$ +

thin! of the #illion$ of "ea" an" "ying +n"ian$ "Do you !now aout the 3ho$t Dane?"+ a$!

"No,

"0u$tie $ay$

"Teah #e

"

"+t wa$ thi$ ere#ony reate" y the Paiute holy #an /ovo!a,

a! in the eighteen-$eventie$ 1e $ai", if the +n"ian$ "ane" thi$"ane long enough, all the "ea" +n"ian$ woul" return an" the white

&eo&le woul" "i$a&&ear" "Soun"$ li!e #y !in" of "ane,"0u$tie $ai"

"2eah, ut it "i"n't wor! All the 3ho$t Daner$ were$laughtere""


23/129

")aye they "i"n't have the right !in" of #u$i" "2eah, they $houl" have ha" )etallia"

0u$tie an" + laugh An" then he $to&$ laughing "Di" you ever try to 3ho$t-Dane?"he a$!$

"Noo"y'$ 3ho$t-Dane" in over a hun"re" year$,"+ $ay "An" +

"on't thin! one &er$on an "o it well enough to #a!e it wor! + thin!you nee" all +n"ian$ to "o it"

"/ell, + thin! you're $trong enough to 3ho$t-Dane all y

your$elf + thin! you an ring a! all the +n"ian$ an" "i$a&&ear allthe white &eo&le"

+ want to tell 0u$tie that the only +n"ian + want to ring a! i$#y father an" the only white &eo&le + want to "i$a&&ear are #y evil

fo$ter fa#ilie$ + gue$$ 0u$tie "oe$n't reali.e that a $ue$$ful 3ho$t Dane

woul" #a!e hi# "i$a&&ear, too %ut #aye he "oe$n't thin! he'$ white

Or #aye he thin!$ he'

$ invinile "The thing i$,"0u$tie $ay$, "what if thi$ 3ho$t Dane i$ real?

/hat if you an ring a! your &arent$ if you "ane?" "+ "on't have rhyth#,"+ $ay

"%e $eriou$,"he $ay$, an" fla$he$ the &i$tol$ at #e "/hat if you

oul" re$urret your &arent$ with the$e? /oul" you !ill a white #an ifit woul" ring a! your #other?"

0e$u$, what a 6ue$tion 0u$tie let$ #e thin! aout #y an$wer for two or three #inute$,

ut + an't $ay ye$ or no + "on't !now what + woul" "o if + !new that!illing $o#eone woul" ring #y #other a! to life

Then 0u$tie $ay$ he'$ hungry, $o he hi"e$ the &i$tol$ again an"we go on a foo" 6ue$t, ru##aging through $u&er#ar!et Du#&$ter$

an" re$taurant tra$h an$ For two wee!$, we hunt for foo" "uring the night an" tal! "uring

the "ay

/hen we tal!, 0u$tie let$ #e hol" the real &i$tol /e ta!e theullet$ out of it, an" + &ratie &ulling the trigger

lick, click+ Then we ta&e u& new$&a&er an" #aga.ine &hoto$ of &eo&le we

hate, li!e 3eorge / %u$h an" Di! 'heney an" )ihael 0a!$on an"

that %riti$h "u"e fro#/merican )dol,an" + &ratie $hooting at the#with the e#&ty gun

lick, click, click+ Then we go u& on the roof of the warehou$e, an" + &ratie

$hooting at ar$ "riving y on the freeway An" at &eo&le wal!ing the

$treet$ "own elow u$ lick, click, click, click+

So#e night$, 0u$tie an" + go out with the &aint gun, hi"e in


24/129

"ar! &lae$, an" $hoot &eo&le The thing i$, when two !i"$ 5u#& out of an alley an" &oint a gun

at you, it i$n't li!e you're going to thin!, 0h, it's *ust a paint gun+ No&e, you're going to thin!, 0h, shit, t"o kids are going to kill

me!

So, #an, oh, #an, "o + hear $o#e &eo&le $rea# 2ou !nowwhat'$ really funny? /hen &eo&le thin! they're going to "ie, they all

$rea# li!e nine-year-ol" girl$ One night, "own on the waterfront, a ig ol" white guy faint$

when + &oint the gun at hi# + "on't even have to over hi# with re"

"ye 1e 5u$t fall$ "own on the $i"ewal! an" twithe$

0u$tie an" + $tan" over the unon$iou$ "u"e 1e loo!$ "ea",an" + feel &owerful

There are #o#ent$ when a oy an feel i##ortal + &ratie !illing &eo&le until it feel$ li!e +'# really !illing the# +

won"er how long it woul" ta!e #e to really $hoot $o#eo"y + won"erwhat woul" ha&&en if + !ille" ten, twenty, or thirty &eo&le +f + !ille"enough &eo&le for real, woul" it egin to feel li!e &ratie?

Every night, after hour$ of tal!ing an" &ratie-$hooting with thereal gun an" fa!e-$hooting with the &aint gun, 0u$tie a$!$, "/hat

woul" you "o if the 3ho$t Dane i$ real?" 1i$ 6ue$tion ehoe$ in #y hea" +t $tay$ there an" + want to

give 0u$tie the e$t an$wer The only an$wer The an$wer he want$ "/hat if the 3ho$t Dane i$ real?"0u$tie a$!$ #e again an"

again The 6ue$tion rawl$ into #y lothe$ an" &u$he$ it$ way through

#y $!in an" into #y $to#ah The 6ue$tion fee"$ #e "Do you thin! the 3ho$t Dane i$ real?"0u$tie a$!$ After hearing that 6ue$tion a thou$an" ti#e$, + finally have the

an$wer "2e$,"+ $ay

0u$tie laugh$ an" hug$ #e + a# $o &rou" + feel li!e + finally"e$erve hi$ love

"O!ay, o!ay,"he $ay$ "Now you an "ane Now youun"er$tan" Now you have the !nowle"ge Now you have the &ower

So what are you going to "o with that &ower?"

+ $tare at the &i$tol in #y han" "+'# going to $tart a fire,"+ $ay

"2e$,"0u$tie $ay$, an" !ee&$ on hugging #e 1e love$ #e An"

+ love 0u$tie The next "ay, "uring lunh hour, + $tan" in the loy of a an! in

"owntown Seattle Fifty or $ixty &eo&le are here with #e7 #en,

wo#en, an" hil"ren of #any "ifferent olor$ + hear four or five"ifferent language$ eing $&o!en An" + gue$$ the$e &eo&le have


25/129

#any "ifferent religion$ %ut none of that #atter$ + !now the$e&eo&le #u$t "ie $o #y #other an" father an return

+ reathe, try to relax, an" &ull the real an" &aint &i$tol$ out of#y &o!et + $ay a little &rayer an" "ane through the loy + ai# #y

&i$tol$ at the fae$ of the$e $tranger$ They $rea# or fall to the floor

or run or free.e or wee& or ur$e or lo$e their eye$ One #an &oint$ at #e

"2ou're not real,"he $ay$ /hat a $trange thing to $ay to a oy with a gun %ut then +

won"er if he'$ right )aye +'# not real An" if +'# not real, none of

the$e &eo&le are real )aye all of u$ are gho$t$

'an a gho$t !ill another gho$t? + &u$h the real an" &aint &i$tol$ into the #an'$ fae An" + &ull

the trigger$

+ $&in in irle$ an" $hoot an" $hoot an" $hoot + !ee& &ullingthe trigger$ until the an! guar" $hoot$ #e in the a! of the hea" +

a# $till alive when + $tart to fall, ut + "ie efore + hit the floor


26/129

Four

"/AKE CP, K+D8 'O)E ON, it'$ ti#e to go" + o&en #y eye$ +'# lying in a ho$&ital e" No +'# in a #otel-

roo# e", a $#all an" hea& an" filthy #otel roo# A roo# where a#illion ugly &eo&le have "one a #illion ugly thing$ There are $tain$ on

the wall$, an" you "on't even want to gue$$ what au$e" the#

/hy a# + in thi$ horrile #otel roo#? /ell, + "i" one of theuglie$t thing$ a &er$on an "o, right? + 5u$t $hot u& a an! full of

&eo&le 1ow oul" + have "one that? + thin! aout that #an who "i"n 't

thin! + wa$ real )aye + wa$n 't real )aye none of it ha&&ene" +

&ray to 3-" that it "i"n't ha&&en

%ut + re#e#er the an! $o learly + an hear the $rea#$ an"

$#ell the gun&ow"er No night#are an feel that real, an it? + want to vo#it

+ one rea" that twenty or thirty &eo&le 5u#& off Seattle'$ AuroraAvenue %ri"ge every year An" +'# $ure that all of the# &roaly

hange" their #in"$ aout $uii"e the #o#ent after they 5u#&e" (et#e tell you, + feel li!e one of tho$e 5u#&er$ + feel li!e + 5u#&e" off

$o#e !in" of ri"ge an" hange" #y #in" too late to $ave any of u$

%ut why a# + alive? Di" + really $urvive a ullet to the rain? "Da#n it, !i","a #an $ay$ "3et u&, we only have a few

#inute$" + "on't reogni.e the #an'$ voie + $it u& in e" an" $ee hi#

$itting on the other e" 1e &ut$ on hi$ $hoe$ 1e'$ a $eriou$ white

guy, #aye forty year$ ol", wearing a lue $hirt an" lue 5ean$ 1e'$

fat ut $trong-loo!ing at the $a#e ti#e, li!e a &rofe$$ional wre$tler 1e'$ al$o got a &i$tol in the hol$ter on hi$ elt

A o&

+'# not "ea", ut + a# un"er arre$t %ut how oul" + not e

"ea"? + felt that ullet ra$h through #y rain + $aw white light An"then it went "ar! An" + "on't #ean a$lee& "ar! + #ean $hot-in-the-

rain-until-you're-"ea" "ar! %ut + gue$$ they $ave" #e So#e a#a.ing "otor$ an" nur$e$

#u$t have $ave" #e They $ave" the life of a !iller + won"er if it#a!e$ the# #a" or $a" when they "o that + won"er if + "e$erve to

live /hat the hell wa$ + thin!ing? /hat !in" of a$tar" a# +? + '# 5u$t

another .it-fae" frea! with a gun )an, + ha" no i"ea + wa$ thi$ evil

An" then it #a!e$ #e won"er Do evil &eo&le kno"they're evil? Or "othey 5u$t thin! they're "oing the right thing?


27/129

+ thin! aout 0u$tie + thin! he foole" #e + thin! herainwa$he" #e +f he wa$ $o righteou$, why wa$n 't he in the an!

with #e? 1e'$ free an" +'# tra&&e"

That ullet #u$t have "one $o#e #a5or "a#age + ho&e + $till

have a fae an" o#&lete $!ull + reah u& to touh the an"age$ %utthere are no an"age$ An" there'$ no loo" or $ar$ or any other

"i$gu$ting hea"-woun" $hit + "on't feel any &ain at all +n fat, + feel

$tronger than ever efore + "on't un"er$tan" what ha$ ha&&ene" + $urvive" a ullet to the

rain An" +'# in a #otel roo# with a o&

"/here a# +?"+ a$! the o&

"/e'll oth e in a $hit $tor# if we #i$$ thi$ #eeting /e fell

a$lee& 'o#e on 3et u&, get your $tuff, an" let'$ go" "/here are we going?"

"

0ee., 1an!, $ha!e the $lee& out of your rain an" get #oving"

1an!? Di" he 5u$t all #e 1an!? ")y na#e i$n't 1an!,"+ $ay

"uit fooling aroun", 1an!, you're getting #e #a"" "uit alling #e 1an!"

The o& $tan"$ an" wal!$ over to #e 1e lean$ over #e an"$tare$ har" at #e 1i$ reath $#ell$ li!e eer an" onion$

2e$, +'ve ha" 6uite a few ugly $#elly guy$ lean over #y e" +get the urge to &unh thi$ o& in the roth

"Are you $till a$lee&?"he a$!$

"No"

"2ou're in one of the# wa!ing "rea#$, aren 't you?"he a$!$"(i!e $lee&wal!ing or $o#ething, right?" 1e $la&$ #y hee! lightly Then $la&$ #e har"er "Di" that hel&, 1an!?"he a$!$

"2ou all #e 1an! one #ore ti#e,"+ $ay, "an" +'# going to !i!your a$$"

1e laugh$, &ull$ #e off the e" an" to #y feet, an" $hove$ #earo$$ the roo# + tri& over a &air of $hoe$ an" u#& the a! of #y

hea" again$t a #irror "That'$ &olie rutality"+ $hout

The o& 5u$t laugh$ +'ve alway$ een goo" at #a!ing o&$laugh %ut +'# not trying to e funny thi$ ti#e

"+ 5u$t got $hot in the rain,"+ $ay "Are you trying to !ill #e?" 1e laugh$ again, gra$ a hol$tere" &i$tol off the tale, an" han"$

it to #e "O!ay, $ol"ier u&, funny guy,"he $ay$ "/e got real wor! to "o" + a# $tunne" + a# the &$yho teen who $hot u& a an! fille"

with &eo&le an" a o& 5u$t han"e" #e a giganti frea!in 'gun!A :@


28/129

agnum!At lea$t, + thin! it'$ a )agnu# + "on't !now gun$ #uh, ut+'ve $een thi$ one in the #ovie$

+ turn aroun" to loo! at #y$elf in the #irror + ex&et to $ee #e&reten"ing to e 'lint Ea$twoo" %ut in$tea" + a# loo!ing at a fae

that i$ not #y own

1uh +$n't that $o#ething? They #u$t have "one &la$ti $urgery on #e That ullet #u$t

have ta!en off #y fae An" $o they ha" to ta!e #y .itty teenage+n"ian #ug an" re&lae it with a han"$o#e white guy'$ fae

2e$, + a# loo!ing at a very han"$o#e white guy in the #irror

1i$ hair i$ lon" 1i$ eye$ are lue 1i$ $!in i$ lear Thi$ guy ha$n 't

ha" a .it in hi$ whole life An" thi$ guy i$ #e +$n't #o"ern #e"iine a#a.ing?

"/ow,"+ $ay to the o& "+ really li!e #y new fae" 1e 5u$t $tare$ at #e

"

+t'

$ li!e that #ovie with 0ohn Travolta,"

+ $ay"

The one where he$withe$ fae$ with Niola$ 'age + "i"n't !now that $tuff wa$ real" The o&'$ fae hange$ ex&re$$ion All of a $u""en he loo!$ a

little onfu$e" An" worrie" "Di" you have a $tro!e or $o#ething,

1an!?"he a$!$ "2ou're not tal!ing or loo!ing right"

+ an't figure out why he !ee&$ alling #e 1ank+/ell, #ayethey hange" #y fae and#y na#e An" $o + loo! "own an" reali.e +

a# $horter than + u$e" to e +n fat, + reali.e + '# aout $ix or $even

inhe$ $horter than + u$e" to e + '# a $hort guy now, ut + have a lot

#ore #u$le$ )y ar#$ are huge + have the fae an" o"y of a

o"yuil"er white guy + a# eautiful

0ee., + $houl" get $hot in the rain every "ay + $u""enly get an i"ea + reah "own an" he! the $i.e of #ygroinal region, an" + reali.e that + '# "ifferent "own there, too + a# a

ig guy in all $ort$ of way$ "Are you $ure you're o!ay?"the o& a$!$ #e "+'# alling thi$ off

if you're not o!ay +t'$ too "angerou$ if you're not o!ay"

"No, no, no,"+ $ay "Everything i$ goo"" Of our$e, +'# lying + "on't !now that everything i$ goo" + a#

very onfu$e"

"Tell #e you're o!ay,"the o& $ay$ "/e're not leaving thi$ roo#

unle$$ you $ay you're o!ay

"

"+'# o!ay,"+ $ay 1e elieve$ #e

"3oo" 3oo", &artner, let'$ go !i! $o#e utt,"the o& $ay$, an"

to$$e$ #e a wallet )y wallet + o&en it u& an" $ee a gol" a"ge )y

a"ge An" then + &ull an +D ar" out of the wallet an" loo! at the&hoto +t'$ #e

/ell, it'$ a &iture of a guy with #y new white fae %ut that +D


29/129

$ay$ that thi$ fae elong$ to a guy na#e" 1an! Stor#, an" that he '$thirty-five year$ ol", an" that he'$ an F%+ agent 2e&, a fe"eral agent

A $u&ero& "+'# 1an! Stor#?"+ a$! the other o&, who #u$t e an F%+ guy,

too

"2e$,"he $ay$ "2ou're finally awa!e 0ee., 1an!, you really ha"#e worrie" there All right, let '$ go $ave the worl"" + &ut on #y $hoe$ an" follow hi# out the "oor


30/129

Five

T1E OT1EB F%+ DCDE an" + $te& out of our #otel roo# +t'$ "ar!

an" lear an" + an $ee $tar$ in the $!y )ore $tar$ than +'ve ever

$een + al$o $ee a $ign that $ay$ thi$ i$ the Be" Biver )otor +nn Be" Biver, Be" Biver, Be" Biver8 that na#e i$ $o fa#iliar + thin! +

rea" aout it $o#ewhere An" then + re#e#er Be" Biver i$ on the

Nanna&u$h +n"ian Be$ervation "Be" Biver, +"aho,"+ $ay

"2e&,"the other F%+ $ay$ "The a$$hole of A#eria"

"(ot of +n"ian$ here" "2eah + wi$h 'u$ter woul" have !ille" a few #ore of the$e "a#n

te&ee ree&er$" "/ow,"+ $ay "2ou really hate +n"ian$, "on't you?"

"+ "i"n't !now any +n"ian$ until they $ent #e to wor! here An"

then + #et +n"ian$ An" tru$t #e, none of the# i$ worth #uh /ell,#aye $o#e of the !i"$ So#e of the !i"$ are $till o!ay %ut they're

going to go a", too 0u$t you wath There'$ $o#ething a" in$i"e

the$e +n"ian$ They an't hel& the#$elve$" + won"er what thi$ rai$t F%+ #an woul" "o if he !new hi$

&artner wa$ really a half-ree" +n"ian + want to tell hi#, ut + "on 't

want to get &unhe" Or $hot in the hea" Again

So + !ee& 6uiet A$ 6uiet a$ thi$ re$ervation + loo! at the #a& in$i"e #y #e#ory an" reali.e +'# $ix hun"re"

#ile$ fro# the neare$t real ity An" there are $o #any $tar$ + !now

ity light$ ut + "on't !now $tar$ "The $!y i$ eautiful,"+ $ay "(i!e a $tarry lan!et"

The other F%+ laugh$ an" laugh$ "0ee.,"he $ay$ "2ou go to$lee& a !iller an" you wa!e u& li!e $o#e !in" of &oet"

"+'# a !iller &oet,"+ $ay The other F%+ love$ that 1e $la&$ #e har" on the a!, ut it

"oe$n't hurt at all eau$e + a# very #u$ular

"

/hat ti#e i$ it anyway?"

+ a$! "Three in the #orn,"the other F%+ $ay$ "/e have to hurry"

So we get into the govern#ent $e"an an" the other F%+ "rive$

u$ through a #a.e of "irt roa"$ to an ol" $ha! $itting out the #i""leof a "ar! nowhere +t'$ $o "ar! + an't $ee #ore than four or five feet

away +t'$ li!e eing in the elly of a whale

"+ et you an't get ell &hone ree&tion out here,"+ $ay

"/hat'$ a ell &hone?"the other F%+ a$!$


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+t'$ #y turn to laugh "+$ the F%+ too hea& to give ell &hone$ to it$ agent$?"+ a$!

"+ "on't !now what you're tal!ing aout,"he $ay$ /ow, thi$ guy i$n't !i""ing 1e "oe$n't !now aout ell &hone$ +

gue$$ he'$ ol"-fa$hione" + want to a$! hi# if he'$ hear" of eletriity

Then + $ee hea"light$ o#ing "own the roa" ehin" u$ "All right, all right, get your ga#e fae on, !i","$ay$ the other

F%+ "Thing$ oul" get ugly real 6ui!" 1e &ull$ out hi$ &i$tol an" he!$ the a##o "Are we going to have a gunfight?"+ a$!

"/oul"n't e the fir$t ti#e,"he $ay$ So + &ull out #y &i$tol an" he! the a##o O!ay, + thin!, +

have to e in $o#e !in" of "rea# Thi$ an't e real + annot e

getting rea"y for a gunfight + '# exite" an" $are" An" then + reali.e

$o#ething

"

1ey,"

+ $ay to the other F%+"

/hat'

$ your na#e?"

1e reat$ li!e + 5u$t $la&&e" hi# "2ou're noto!ay, are you?"he a$!$ + an $ee ig fear in hi$

eye$ That fear "oe$n't $ee# fa!e +t "oe$n't feel li!e a "rea# The

hea"light$ ehin" u$ #ove lo$er

"+'# o!ay,"+ $ay "+ 5u$t forgot your na#e" "2ou lie" to #e,"he $ay$ "There is$o#ething wrong with you,

i$n't there? 0ee., you ha" one of the# $tro!e$, "i"n 't you? Ah, #an,we're in troule" 1e loo!$ a! at tho$e hea"light$ traveling towar" u$ There

#u$t e $eriou$ly "angerou$ "u"e$ in that ar

"0u$t tell #e your na#e,"+ $ay "Art,"he $ay$ ")y na#e i$ Art 2ou an" + have een &artner$ for

twelve year$" "That'$ a long ti#e,"+ $ay

The other ar &ull$ u& e$i"e u$ + loo! in$i"e an" $ee two +n"ian

guy$ They loo! fa#iliar + $tare at the# An" they $tare at #e An"

then + reali.e who they are They're ativi$t$ fro# +BON, whih i$ thearony# for +n"igenou$ Bight$ Now

"1ey, Art,"+ $ay, "tho$e guy$ are fa#ou$"

Art al#o$t ga$&$ an" let$ out thi$ $6uea!y whine, li!e a little girl

on a roller oa$ter "The &a$$enger, what'$ hi$ na#e?"+ a$!

+ re#e#er that the #e#er$ of +BON gave u& their irth

na#e$ eau$e they were "olonial &oi$on"an" na#e" the#$elve$

after ani#al$ "Oh, + re#e#er, hi$ na#e i$ 1or$e,"+ $ay

"2eah,"Art $ay$ 1i$ voie ra!$

"An" the "river, that'$ El!,"+ $ay


32/129

Art 5u$t no"$ hi$ hea" 1e loo!$ at #e ug-eye" "Tho$e guy$ are $u&er fa#ou$,"+ $ay "Fa#ou$ for +n"ian$, at

lea$t + $aw the# oth in thi$ "ou#entary aout the ivil war in Be"Biver 2ou !now, that'$ where +BON wa$ &roteting tra"itional +n"ian$

fro# the evil +n"ian trial govern#ent "u"e$ /hat were they alle"?"

"1A))EB,"Art $ay$ "2eah, 1A))EB,"+ $ay "/hat wa$ that $hort for?" "Nothing, they 5u$t all the#$elve$ 1A))EB"

"2eah, +BON ver$u$ 1A))EB +t wa$ li!e a 3-""a#n #on$ter#ovie,"+ $ay

Art'$ eye$ are wi"e li!e he'$ loo!ing at a gho$t An" he '$ loo!ingat #e, $o + gue$$ he isloo!ing at a gho$t 1e loo!$ over at 1or$e an"

El!, the +BON "u"e$ in the other ar They're tal!ing to eah other %ut

we an't hear the# through the gla$$ Everyo"y ha$ $eret$

"Oh, yeah, #an, + re#e#er now,"+ $ay "Tho$e 1A))EB guy$

were !illing everyo"y a! then An" then the F%+ 5oine" u& with1A))EB an" $tarte" !illing &eo&le, too )an, when wa$ that, a! in9


33/129

Art roll$ "own hi$ win"ow 1or$e roll$ "own hi$ win"ow 1e ha$ alue feather tie" to hi$ long la! rai"

"1ey, Art,"1or$e $ay$ "1ey,"Art $ay$

"1ey, 1an!,"1or$e $ay$

1e !now$ #e The "river, El!, who ha$ a $6uare fae li!e he'$ $o#e !in" of

+n"ian Fran!en$tein, "oe$n't $ay anything 1e 5u$t trie$ to loo! tough,

an" he'$ "oing a &retty goo" 5o of it +'# $are" of hi#

An" then + won"er why the$e two fa#ou$ +n"ian guy$ are having

a #eeting with u$, the white F%+ + thought they hate" the F%+ +thought they were fighting againstthe F%+

An" then + reali.e that El! an" 1or$e are "oule agent$ They

are traitor$ to +BON Thi$ i$ #a5or new$ %a! in the future, the$e guy$ are $till

heroe$ Everyo"y $till thin!$ they fought againstthe F%+ )y heart i$eating a &un! ro! $ong again$t #y he$t

"2ou rea"y to "o thi$?"El! a$!$ Art "Bea"y $tea"y,"Art $ay$

All four of u$ get out of the ar$ Then El! an" 1or$e o&en their trun! an" &ull out another +n"ian

guy7 a young "u"e, #aye twenty 1i$ han"$ are tie" ehin" hi$ a!

1i$ #outh i$ gagge" An" hi$ fae i$ loo"y an" eaten 1e '$ terrifie"An" then + notie that all the finger$ on hi$ right han" are #i$$ing

So#eo"y ut the# off + thin! +'# going to "ie tonight Again

"+$ thi$ hi#?"Art a$!$ "Doe$ he !now what we nee" to !now?" "2eah,"El! $ay$ "%ut he won't tell u$"

"/hat'$ hi$ na#e?" "0unior"

"(oo!$ li!e you torture" &oor 0unior,"Art $ay$ "2eah, ut we hea& &ri#itive +n5un$,"El! $ay$ "/e "on't have

fany interrogation tehni6ue$ li!e the F an" % an" +" "+ "on't !now anything fany,"Art $ay$ "Ta!e off hi$ gag" El! &ull$ the gag out of 0unior'$ #outh All of hi$ teeth are

$#a$he" an" ro!en + al#o$t vo#it

"1ow

'$ he going to tal! with a #outh li!e that?

"Art a$!$ "Di"n't #ean to &unh hi# that har","1or$e $ay$

"2ou "i" that #uh "a#age with one &unh?"Art a$!$

"2eah,"1or$e $ay$ 1e'$ &rou" An" + "o vo#it a little it into #y#outh an" $wallow it a! "own

"All right,"Art $ay$ "1ol" hi$ ar#$" El! an" 1or$e hol" 0unior'$ ar#$ 1e "oe$n't fight a!

"All right, 0unior,"Art $ay$ "Are you going to tell #e what + want


34/129

to !now?" 0unior $ha!e$ hi$ hea"

+n #y hea", + $rea#, %ell them, 2unior, tell them everything! + wi$h + !new what Art wante" to !now )aye + oul" $ave

0unior if + !new

Art ta!e$ out hi$ &i$tol an" &re$$e$ it again$t 0unior'$ forehea"Poor 0unior arely even reat$ 1e'$ alrea"y given u&

+ loo! at El! an" 1or$e They're $#iling + reali.e they aren 't

free"o# fighter$ or anything li!e that They "on't are aout &rotetingthe &oor an" "efen$ele$$ No, #an, the$e guy$ 5u$t li!e to hurt &eo&le

An" + loo! at the weir" light in Art'$ eye$ 1e i$n't a law#an 1e

"oe$n't &rotet our ountry 1e 5u$t li!e$ to hurt &eo&le, too

"All right, 0unior,"Art $ay$ "2ou get one hane Tell #e what +

want to !now" An" then 0unior, a#a.ing little 0unior, he get$ thi$ loo! in hi$

eye$ +t'

$ &eaeful an" "efiant at the $a#e ti#e +t'

$ li!e he'

$ $aying,3ill me if you "ant+ )t doesn't matter+ )'m still a better person thanyou+

"Are you going to tal!?"Art a$!$

0unior $ha!e$ hi$ hea"

"Are you going to tal!?"Art a$!$ again "No,"0unior $ay$

1or$e an" El! relea$e 0unior'$ ar#$ an" $te& a! 1e oul" runnow if he wante" to, ut he woul"n 't get far

"Are you going to tal!?"Art a$!$ for the thir" ti#e "Fu! you,"0unior $ay$

Art $hoot$ hi# in the fae an" 0unior "ro&$ 1e'$ gone "2ou got loo" on #e,"El! $ay$ to Art

"/e all got loo" on u$,"Art $ay$ 1e'$ right aout that

Art loo!$ at #e + $tare a! An" then + $&in aroun" an" vo#it

all over the &lae

Art !ille" that guy $o ea$ily 2ou "on't !ill that ea$ily unle$$you've "one it lot$ of ti#e$ efore + won"er who taught Art how to

$hoot &eo&le with a real gun An" all of thi$ 5u$t #a!e$ #e vo#it $o#e #ore

/hen + loo! u&, El! an" 1or$e $#ir! at #e "/hat'$ wrong with you, F%+?"El! a$!$ "+t'$ not li!e thi$ i$ your

fir$t one" "/hat?"+ a$!

"Don't &lay "u#,"he $ay$ "+ !now what you "i" + $aw you"

El! $#ile$ + hate that $#ile 1e kno"s#e

1ave + !ille" $o#eo"y out here on the re$ervation? /hy "on't +re#e#er it? )aye 1an! Stor# !ille" &eo&le %ut then + re#e#er


35/129

the an! +'# not any etter than the$e #en +'# not any etter thanthe real 1an! Stor#

+ a# 1an! Stor#, too "Don't worry aout 1an!,"Art $ay$ "1e i$n't hi#$elf tonight"

"2eah,"+ $ay "+ a# #o$t "efinitely not the ol" 1an! Stor# +'# a

whole "ifferent !in" of 1an!" "/hat are we going to "o aout 0unior '$ o"y?"El! a$!$ "(et hi# rot,"Art $ay$

"1e'$ a tra"itionali$t,"El! $ay$ "1i$ $oul won't get to 1eaven ifwe "on't ury hi# the +n"ian way"

"/hy "o you are?"Art a$!$ "%eau$e + wa$ taught to,"El! $ay$ 1e'$ thin!ing har" Then he

$ur&ri$e$ #e "/hy "on't you guy$ get going,"he $ay$ "/e'll ury hi#

the right way" 1or$e grunt$ in agree#ent

El! an" 1or$e torture" 0unior an" "elivere" hi# to hi$#ur"erer$ %ut now they are going to ury hi# with re$&et + "on 'tun"er$tan" &eo&le

"All right,"Art $ay$ "%ut + nee" $o#ething el$e fir$t"

"/hat?"El! a$!$

Art loo!$ har" at #e "Shoot 0unior,"he $ay$

"/hat?"+ a$!

"Shoot 0unior,"Art $ay$ again

"1e'$ alrea"y "ea"" "Shoot hi#,"Art $ay$ an" &oint$ hi$ gun at #e "Or +'ll $hoot

you"

"+ "on't un"er$tan","+ $ay "1e'$ alrea"y "ea" 2ou an't !ill hi#twie" "+ want your ullet in hi#,"Art $ay$ "+ want u$ to e in thi$ one

together" "%ut that'$ not re$&etful, i$ it?"+ a$! El! "That'$ not the +n"ian

thing to "o, i$ it?" "2ou're not +n"ian,"El! $ay$

"Shoot hi#,"Art $ay$ "Now" Sare", + &ull out #y &i$tol an" $tan" over 0unior'$ o"y 1e

loo!$ $o young 1e'$ a !i" (i!e #e + ai# #y gun at hi$ he$t At hi$

heart + an't "o thi$ +t $o#ehow $ee#$ wor$e to $hoot a "ea" o"y

than to $hoot a living #an 0u$tie #a"e !illing #a!e $en$e %ut it"oe$n't #a!e $en$e, "oe$ it?

+'# going ra.y + amra.y + want $o#eo"y to tell #e that +'#

not real

"Shoot hi#,"Art $ay$

+ lo$e #y eye$ an" &ull the trigger


36/129

)aye you an't !ill $o#eo"y twie for real, ut it $ure hurt$your heart 5u$t the $a#e


37/129

Six

/1EN + OPEN )2 eye$, +'# in a ho$&ital roo# For a #o#ent +

won"er if +'# a! to eing #y$elf, to eing *it$, ut then + $ee Art

$itting in a hair at the foot of #y e" + '# $till tra&&e" in$i"e 1an!Stor# %ut then + won"er if + 've alway$ een 1an! Stor# an" wa$ only

*it$ in a night#are )aye + "i"n 't $hoot u& that an! full of &eo&le +ho&e +'# 5u$t the #an who $hot an alrea"y "ea" guy in the fae

0e$u$, what !in" of $i! on$olation an that e? "1ey, 1an!,"Art $ay$ "/elo#e a!" "/here have + een?"+ a$!

"A$lee&" + 5u$t $tare at hi# "1ow you feeling?"he a$!$

Fu!e" y ti#e, + thin!, an" fu!e" y #e#ory "Art,"+ $ay, "you have no i"ea where #y rain i$ right now" "2ou're tal!ing aout that thing a! on the re$ervation?"Art

a$!$

Not really, + thin!, ut + #ight a$ well tal! aout that awful $hit,too

"2eah,"+ $ay "The la$t thing + re#e#er wa$ $tan"ing over that

guy, an"--"

+ an't fini$h the $entene "After you "i" what + tol" you to "o,"Art $ay$, "you &a$$e" out"

'an you la#e #e? + want to get out of e" an" run away fro#Art, ut +'# too wea!

"/hat ha&&ene" after + &a$$e" out?"+ a$!

"+ thought you'" gone #ental,"he $ay$, "ut it turn$ out you ha"

$o#e viru$" "+'# $i!?" "2eah After you &a$$e" out, + $hove" you into the ar an" "rove

fa$t + arely got you to the ho$&ital in ti#e + thought you were going

to "ie"

+ thin! aout El! an" 1or$e

"/hat ha&&ene" to tho$e two other guy$?"+ a$!

"+ left the# there,"Art $ay$ "They ha" $tuff to "o" "1ow long have + een out?"+ a$!

"Three "ay$" "/ow,"+ $ay

"2eah, the "otor$ thought you #aye "a#age" your rain with


38/129

that fever" "A# + going to e o!ay?"+ a$!

"2eah, the "o$ $ay you'll e here a few #ore "ay$8 then they're$en"ing you a! to D' 2ou're going to wor! a "e$! until you get

$trong again"

"(i$ten,"+ $ay "Aout la$t night--" "0u$t $hut u& aout it,"Art $ay$ "/e "on't nee" to tal! aout it

any#ore /e're at war /e're $ol"ier$ An" $ol"ier$ have to "o $o#e

tough thing$ That'$ why we're $ol"ier$ An" $o#e of the thing$ we

have to "o, they hurt u$, you !now? They hurt u$ in$i"e" Art'$ eye$ fill with tear$ %ut he "oe$n 't even notie he'$ rying

1e 5u$t !ee&$ tal!ing "+n or"er to fight evil, $o#eti#e$ we have to "o evil thing$,"he

$ay$ Art ga$&$ for reath + "on't thin! he'$ ever $ai" the$e thing$

efore + "on'

t thin! he'

ll ever $ay the# again "+ elieve that what we "i" the other night wa$ nee$$ary,"he

$ay$ "1orrile an" nee$$ary Do you un"er$tan" that?"

Art an" 0u$tie fight on o&&o$ite $i"e$ of the war ut they $oun"

exatly li!e eah other 1ow an you tell the "ifferene etween thegoo" guy$ an" the a" guy$ when they $ay the $a#e thing$?

"+'# $are" of you, Art,"+ $ay

"Oh, !i","he $ay$, "+'" never hurt you Never + love you, #an

So #any &eo&le love you" Three eautiful oy$ an" a eautiful wo#an wal! into the roo#

+ "on't !now who they are, ut they !now #e

"Da""y Da""y"the oy$ $rea# an" 5u#& on the e" with #eThey 5u#& on #e

+'# a father

"O!ay, o!ay,"Art $ay$, an" &ull$ the !i"$ off #e "2our "a""y i$$i! 2ou got to give hi# $o#e roo#"

"Cnle Art, Cnle Art"the !i"$ $hout "Do you have any toy$ foru$?"

They all hi# .ncleArt Thi$ guy an" + are e$t frien"$ Thi$ guy love$ #e 1e love$ #y

hil"ren 1e love$ #y wife Thi$ guy i$ &art of #y fa#ily

2e$, thi$ i$ the loving #an who $hot another #an in the fae "1ey, !i"$,"Art $ay$, "why "on't we hea" to the afeteria an" let

your #o# an" "a" have a little ti#e alone?"

)y !i"$ heer a$ their Cnle Art, the !iller, ta!e$ the#

"own$tair$ for hoolate &u""ing After they're gone, the eautiful wo#an lean$ over #e She i$

#y wife an" + "on't !now her

"Oh, 1an!,"$he $ay$ "+t'$ $o goo" to $ee you awa!e"


39/129

"2e$,"+ $ay "Are you ontagiou$?"$he a$!$

+f you an ath ra.y, +'# a wal!ing e&i"e#i "+t'$ only a viru$,"+ $ay "+ "on't thin! you an ath what +

have"

")aye + want to,"$he $ay$ + an't elieve thi$ wo#an i$ #y wife She i$ eautiful %la! hair,

lue eye$, &ale $!in She i$ #aye the #o$t eautiful wo#an + have

ever $een in &er$on + won"er if +'ll get to have $ex with her

+ !now thi$ $exy wo#an i$ 1an!'$ wife %ut +'# 1an! right nowAn" $he love$ hi# $o $he love$ #e, too + won"er if $he !now$ that

1an! !ill$ &eo&le + won"er if $he !now$ that 1an! hel&e" !ill a #an afew night$ ago + won"er if $he woul" $till love 1an! if $he !new +

$u$&et $he #ight + $u$&et $he $ee$ 1an! a$ her &rotetor, a$ her

hil"ren'

$ &rotetor 1an! #a!e$ the worl" $afe 1e i$ a goo" an" loving hu$an"an" father 1e i$ one hun"re" "ifferent ver$ion$ of hi#$elf, an" only

one of the# i$ a !iller

"+ hear you're o#ing ho#e,"#y wife $ay$ "+ thin! $o,"+ $ay

"That'$ goo", we've #i$$e" you $o #uh" She !i$$e$ #e on the #outh +t #a!e$ #e feel &owerful + lo$e

#y eye$ again an" !i$$ her a! a$ har" a$ + an 3-", + thin! + woul" !ill for her !i$$


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Seven

+') BCNN+N3 T1BOC31 T1E "ar! + run towar" the $oun" of

laughter + run towar" a right light in the "i$tane + run $u&er fa$t An" + won"er if +'# not running at all /hat if

+'# flying? /hat if + have eo#e that an! guar" '$ ullet? /hat if +'#

the ullet that la$te" through #y rain?

%ut, wait, no, + $u""enly ur$t through the right light, whih i$really the o&ening of a uffalo-$!in te&ee, an" + run out$i"e an" $to&

+ a# $tan"ing in the #i""le of a giganti +n"ian a#& An" +"on't #ean $o#e Di$neylan", Ni!elo"eon, roller-oa$ter, $tuffe"-

ani#al, otton-an"y +n"ian a#& No&e

+ a# $tan"ing in the #i""le of a real +n"ian a#&, o#&lete withthou$an"$ of real +n"ian te&ee$ an" ten$ of thou$an"$ of real ol"-ti#e

+n"ian$

The te&ee$ go on forever They're grou&e" in little irle$ in$i"eigger irle$ in$i"e the igge$t irle$ Thi$ a#& $it$ e$i"e a $#all

river S#all "u$ty hill$ ri$e aove the water Thin "ry tree$ over thehill$

+ reathe "u$t8 it #a!e$ #u" in #y #outh

An" there are $o #any +n"ian$

2e&, a unh of real ol"-ti#e +n"ian$ +'# not exatly $ure whatyear it i$ +t'$ tough to tell the "ifferene etween $eventeenth-an"eighteenth-an" nineteenth-entury +n"ian$

The$e are how +n"ian$ u$e" to e, how +n"ian$ are $u&&o$e" toe 0u$tie alway$ tal!e" with a"#iration aout +n"ian$ li!e thi$

The$e ol"-ti#e +n"ian$ have "ar! $!in There aren't any half-

ree" &ale-eige green-eye" +n"ian$ here No&e, unli!e #e, the$e

+n"ian$ are the real "eal + "on't hear any of the# $&ea!ing Engli$h + "on 't !now what

+n"ian language they are $&ea!ing + an't un"er$tan" it, ut all of

the# are $&ea!ing it +n fat, a$ + li$ten #ore lo$ely, + reali.e the$e

+n"ian$--#en, wo#en, hil"ren, an" ol" &eo&le--are $&ea!ing a unh

of "ifferent language$ So there are a lot of "ifferent trie$ here Even the "og$ $ee# to e ar!ing in +n"ian An" there are a lot

of "og$, hun"re"$ of "og$ An" it $tin!$ $o#ething fiere

There are ten$ of thou$an"$ of hu#an eing$ living in lo$e6uarter$ in the $u##er heat An" ye$, it ha$ to e $u##er eau$e


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the $un i$ huge in the lue $!y an" it #u$t e aout 9 "egree$ So i#agine a a#& fille" with ten$ of thou$an"$ of $weating

+n"ian$, "og$, an" hor$e$, along with what a&&ear$ to e the rottingan" "rying or&$e$ of hun"re"$ of uffalo, "eer, &oru&ine$, a"ger$,

$6uirrel$, rat$, an" who-!now$-what other ani#al$, hanging on ra!$

everywhere + loo! The$e +n"ian$ eat a lot of #eat

An" "eo"orant ha$ not een invente" yet An" it'$ hotter than the &i..a hee$e that get$ $tu! to the roof

of your #outh an" urn$ you $o a" you an have one of tho$e $!in

fla&$ hanging "own +#agine what thi$ $#ell$ li!e

0u$tie never $ai" anything aout the $#ell of ol"-ti#e +n"ian$ +never rea" anything aout thi$ $#ell + never $aw a televi$ion $how

that #entione" it

+ "on't #ean to e "i$re$&etful, ut it $#ell$ li!e the Devil

"ro&&e" a $hit right here in the #i""le of thi$ a#& %ut you !now what'$ really ra.y? + $ee# to e the only one

othere" y the $tenh Everyo"y el$e i$ $#iling an" go$$i&ing an"

$inging an" laughing an" living their way-ool ol"-ti#e +n"ian live$None of the# are gagging an" overing their no$e$ li!e #e

An" then + re#e#er how $o#e &eo&le'$ hou$e$ 5u$t $#ell

funny They "on't $tin! Not really %ut they $#ell "ifferent A few

ti#e$ in #y life, + wal!e" into new fo$ter ho#e$ an" !new +'" never e

ale to live there eau$e of the $trange $#ell

Everyo"y'$ hou$e $#ell$ "ifferent So#e of the# $#ell goo",

#o$t of the# 5u$t $#ell "ifferent, an" a few of the# $tin! So thi$ huge village i$ li!e one of tho$e $tin! hou$e$ An" the&eo&le who live here "on't notie the $tin!

Peo&le $#ell "ifferent, too So#eti#e$ you #eet &eo&le an" youthin! they're nie an" "eent, an" it $ee#$ li!e you #ight e frien"$

%ut you get lo$er to the# an" they $tin! They $#ell li!e rotten fi$h

or "ea" raoon$ or $o#ething An" you 5u$t have to run away (ater, you #ention the a" $#ell to your other frien"$ an" they

$ay they "i"n't $#ell anything "ifferent That $tin! i$ re$erve"

e$&eially for you

%ut, hey, it wor!$ the other way, too So#eti#e$ you #eet a&er$on, an" you ath the $ent an" it '$ li!e you've $#elle" a gar"en in

1eaven, eau$e all you want to "o i$ follow that &er$on aroun" an"reathe in for the re$t of your life

An" later you #ention thi$ great $ent to your other frien"$, an"

they $ay they "i"n't $#ell anything "ifferent

+ re#e#er thi$ one ti#e, when + wa$ ta!ing a vi"eo la$$ at a$&eial &rogra# for ho#ele$$ !i"$ in Seattle + wa$ learning how to


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u$e a o#&uter to e"it #ovie$ An" the teaher--her na#e wa$ Sue--$he $#elle" exatly li!e 'a#&ell'$ vegetale $ou&

Now + never thought the $#ell of 'a#&ell'$ vegetale $ou& wa$$exy + alway$ li!e" it, ut it "i"n't get #e all hor#onal or anything

%ut when + $#elle" Sue, + egan to thin! that 'a#&ell'$ vegetale

$ou& #ight e the $exie$t thing in the worl" Of our$e, eing young an" $tu&i" an" in love, + tol" Sue that$he $#elle" exatly li!e 'a#&ell'$ vegetale $ou& She 5u$t laughe"

at #e %ut, wait, why a# + tal!ing aout $ou&? )aye it'$ 5u$t $afer an"

funnier to thin! aout $ou& an" $exy wo#en na#e" Sue than it i$ tofin" your$elf tran$&orte" to an ol"-ti#e +n"ian a#&

An" then + loo! "own at #y$elf an" reali.e that +'# an ol"-ti#e

+n"ian !i", #aye twelve or thirteen year$ ol" + '# thin an" #u$ular,

an" the only thing +'# wearing i$ a loinloth

+ get $hy for a $eon" eau$e +'

# al#o$t na!e" %ut then +reali.e that every oy an" #an in the a#& i$ wearing only a loinlothAn" a few of the wo#en an" girl$ are &retty #uh na!e", too

Then + $olve a #y$tery7 + loo! un"er #y loinloth

O!ay + !now for $ure now that +n"ian$ "i"n't have un"erwear

eneath their loinloth$ Then + $ee thi$ huge +n"ian guy, li!e the Arnol" Shwar.enegger

of +n"ian warrior$, wal!ing towar" #e 1e get$ lo$er an" lo$er 1e'$

fiere 1i$ fae an" o"y are war-&ainte" in ten "ifferent olor$, he'$

arrying thi$ e&i to#ahaw!, an" + get $are" + won"er if he'$ #agi

)aye he !now$ +'# not really thi$ ol"-ti#e +n"ian oy )aye he an

feel that +'# 5u$t orrowing thi$ o"y + want to run ut +'# fro.en /here woul" + run to anyway?

/hen you're trying to e$a&e fro# +n"ian$, it '$ &roaly e$t if you"on't $tart your e$a&e fro# in$i"e their huge a#&

%ut 5u$t when + thin! the warrior guy i$ going to ho& off #yhea", he lean$ over, &i!$ #e u&, an" hug$ #e tightly An" + reali.e

thi$ i$ #y father

y father+ /ell, o!ay, he'$ the father of the !i" who$e o"y + '# in$i"e at

the #o#ent %ut a$ long a$ + '# thi$ !i", thi$ #an i$ #y father An"

$ine + never !new #y real +n"ian father, + feel li!e +'# going toex&lo"e

+ want to hug thi$ guy forever an" forever

+ $rea# out &addy!%ut nothing o#e$ out of #y #outh 1uh/hat ha&&ene"? + try to $rea# &addy!again Nothing

)y father $et$ #e "own an" then ta!e$ #y han" an" lea"$ #e

through the a#& + !ee& trying to $rea# &addy!ut nothingha&&en$


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+ reah u&, touh #y throat, an" feel a huge fle$hy !not +t'$ on#y voie ox + "on't !now if + wa$ atta!e" y a &er$on or y a

"i$ea$e, ut #y voie ha$ een ta!en away Da#n

%ut + feel o!ay Thi$ guy love$ #e 1e'$ $inging to #e /ho !new

that ol"-ti#e +n"ian rave$ $erena"e" their $on$? +t'$ eautiful +'# inlove + won"er if thi$ i$ 1eaven )aye 3-" $ent #e to 1ell fir$t

)aye he #a"e #e wath Art !ill 0unior eau$e + nee"e" to learnfro# #y #i$ta!e$

)aye + learne" $o#ething

)aye 3-" forgave #e an" $ent #e to 1eaven )aye thi$ +n"ian a#& i$ 1eaven--a $tin!y 1eaven

An", o!ay, #aye 3-" "i"n't forgive #e o#&letely, $o he &ut

#e in the o"y of a !i" without a voie %ut that '$ o!ay + an live

without a voie a$ long a$ thi$ #an, #y new father, !ee&$ loving #eli!e he "oe$

An" then + a# hit with #ore love lightning + et #y new fatheri$ arrying #e to our fa#ily te&ee, where #y new #other an" #y new

rother$ an" $i$ter$ are waiting for #e + have a fa#ily A real fa#ily

A true fa#ily + a# ha&&y for the fir$t ti#e in #y life


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Eight

1APP+NESS NEVEB (ASTS (ON3, "oe$ it?

A$ #y new father lea"$ #e through a#&, + reali.e thi$ annote 1eaven

All the$e ol"-ti#e +n"ian$ are "oo#e" They're going to "ie of"i$ea$e An" they'll e $laughtere" y CS 'avalry $ol"ier$ They'll e

&a!e" into train ar$ an" $hi&&e" off to re$ervation$ An" they 'll$tarve in winter a#&$ near ie"-over river$

The hil"ren are going to e !i"na&&e" an" $ent off to oar"ing$hool$ Their hair will e ut $hort an" they will e eaten for

$&ea!ing their trial language$ They'll e eaten for "aning an"

$inging the ol"-ti#e +n"ian $ong$

All of the# are going to $tart "rin!ing oo.e An" their hil"renwill "rin! oo.e An" their gran"hil"ren an" great-gran"hil"ren will

"rin! oo.e An" one of tho$e great-gran"hil"ren will grow u& to e

#y real father, the one who "ei"e" that "rin!ing oo.e wa$ #orei#&ortant than eing #y father The one who aan"one" #y #other

an" #e That'$ what i$ going to ha&&en to all the$e ol"-ti#e +n"ian$

That'$ what'$ going to ha&&en to #e Thi$ i$ what 0u$tie wa$ alway$

tal!ing aout Ol"-ti#e +n"ian$ were $o eautiful, an" they were

"e$troye" +t #a!e$ #e angry + want to $&it an" !i! an" &unh an" $la& +want to ry an" $ing, ut + annot u$e #y voie

An" then #y father $to&$ to tal! to a funny-loo!ing +n"ian guy +li$ten to the# tal! +n"ian + "on't !now exatly what they're $aying,

ut + "o !now they're arguing

Thi$ new +n"ian guy i$ $hort, arely taller than + a# An" he'$

very &ale, al#o$t white-$!inne" +n fat, he'$ got &athe$ of $!in

&eeling off hi$ a!, he$t, an" ar#$ Thi$ +n"ian i$ $o white he get$

$unurne" 1i$ hair i$n't la! at all No&e, it'$ light rown, an" $o#e

$tran"$ of it are al#o$t lon" 1e'$ got a $ingle eagle feather tie" into

hi$ rai" an" white lightning olt$ &ainte" on hi$ o"y

Oh, #y 3-" Thi$ &ale little "u"e i$ 'ra.y 1or$e, the $trange#an of the Oglala$

2e$, thi$ i$ the fa#ou$ #y$tial +n"ian warrior who !ille"

hun"re"$ of white &eo&le Thi$ guy wa$ the greate$t warrior ever + a# loo!ing at 'ra.y 1or$e, the #agial one %ullet$ oul"n't hit


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hi# 1e oul" never e &hotogra&he" 1e wa$ a holy gho$t, the Sioux0e$u$ /ell, $ort of li!e 0e$u$ + #ean, 0e$u$ "i"n 't !ill anyo"y, you

!now? So 'ra.y 1or$e wa$ li!e 0e$u$, if 0e$u$ ha" een a warrior + a# $tan"ing right next to hi# An" hi$ eye$ are gol"-olore"

+ thin! the greate$t warrior in Sioux hi$tory i$ a half-ree"

#y$tery + thin! thi$ legen"ary !iller of white #en ishalf white, li!e#e

+ loo! aroun" again at the +n"ian a#& Thou$an"$ of te&ee$Ten$ of thou$an"$ of +n"ian$ 1ot $u##er "ay Du$ty hill$ $urroun"ing

u$ The $!inny river lo$e y

'ra.y 1or$e i$ here An" that ol"er +n"ian "u"e $tan"ing overthere y the hor$e$? 1e $ure loo!$ li!e Sitting %ull "oe$ in the hi$tory-

oo! &itorial$ + reali.e thi$ $!inny river i$ the (ittle %ighorn, an" + have een

tran$&orte" a! to 0une 9G@>

+ gra #y father'$ leg an" $ha!e hi#

+ $rea#, &addy! &addy! %his is the camp at the 4ittle Bighorn!uster is coming! uster is coming! 1e's bringing the Seventh avalry

and they're coming to kill us!%ut of our$e + annot atually $ay

anything eau$e + "on't have a wor!ing voie ox

)y father $tare$ at #e + "on't nee" to $&ea! hi$ language to

!now he want$ #e to $hut u&, even if + '# not really #a!ing any noi$e

An" then + re#e#er that the +n"ian$ at (ittle %ighorn alrea"y!now that 'u$ter i$--wa$--o#ing +n fat, they $et u& thi$ a#& $o

that 'u$ter woul" o#e for the# +t '$ a tra& 3eorge Ar#$trong 'u$ter an" hi$ Seventh 'avalry are #arhing

here There are only aout $even hun"re" white $ol"ier$ ri"ing with'u$ter An" waiting here in the a#& for hi# are three or four or fivethou$an" +n"ian warrior$ 'u$ter i$ #arhing towar" hi$ $laughter

'u$ter i$ a ra.y ego#ania who thin!$ he i$ going to e&re$i"ent of the Cnite" State$ 'u$ter i$ one of the to& two or three

"u# a$$e$ in A#erian hi$tory

+ an't elieve +'# here Thi$ i$ the %attle of the (ittle %ighorn

Thi$ i$ 'u$ter'$ (a$t Stan" + won"er when it'$ going to $tart An" then + hear gunfire in the "i$tane /e all hear that gunfire

The +n"ian warrior$ rae for their wea&on$ an" their hor$e$

Thou$an"$ of hot an" angry +n"ian "u"e$ ri"e out to #eet'u$ter an" hi$ "oo#e" $ol"ier$


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Nine

T1E2 NA)ED T1E %ATT(E all wrong

They $houl"n't have alle" it 'u$ter'$ (a$t Stan" Oh, it wa$ hi$la$t $tan" 1e "ie" there 1ere, + #ean %ut 'u$ter wa$n 't i#&ortant

1e wa$ ea$ily re&lae" There were &lenty of other $ol"ier$ who were

$#arter an" etter at !illing +n"ian$

(ittle %ighorn wa$ the la$t real attle of the +n"ian /ar$ Afterthat, the +n"ian$ gave u& So 'u$ter'$ (a$t Stan" wa$ really the

+n"ian$'la$t $tan" %ut, oh, on that "ay, thi$ "ay, the +n"ian$ are ra.y

goo" An" ra.y rea"y

+'# not $tu&i" + "on't want to get $hot again +'# only twelve orthirteen year$ ol", an" +'# $#all So + $tay in a#& an" li$ten to the

$oun"$ of attle + an't $ee anything, ut + !now what '$ ha&&ening + rea" aout

thi$ fight + wathe" a TV $how aout it on the 1i$tory 'hannel A few "ay$ ago, 'u$ter ignore" hi$ $u&erior offier'$ or"er$ an"

fore-#arhe" hi$ #en towar" the (ittle %ighorn They were only$u&&o$e" to #arh twenty #ile$ a "ay ut 'u$ter #a"e the# #arh

$eventy #ile$ a "ay

1e wa$ $u&&o$e" to ta!e hi$ ti#e an" not arrive here ahea" ofthe $ol"ier$ who were hauling the huge an" heavy 3atling gun$

'u$ter "ei"e" he "i"n't nee" the 3atling gun$, tho$e ol"-ti#e#ahine gun$ that la$te" one hun"re" ullet$ a #inute

/hat an overonfi"ent a$$hole, huh? /hen 'u$ter arrive" on the hill$ aove the (ittle %ighorn, he wa$

$u&&o$e" to wait for the other ar#y "u"e$ to $how u& A ou&le

thou$an" #ore $ol"ier$ %ut he "i"n't wait 1e wante" all the glory for hi#$elf So he $ent

half of hi$ #en to atta! one $i"e of the +n"ian a#&, an" he too! theother half an" ro"e towar" the o&&o$ite en" of the a#&

1e thought he wa$ going to terrify the +n"ian$ an" #a!e the#run away, ut he ran into a few thou$an" organi.e" +n"ian$--with

re&eating rifle$

2e&, the$e &artiular +n"ian$ $ai", "Fu! ow$ an" arrow$ /e're

going to get tehnologial" After #eeting the $u&erior nu#er$ of +n"ian$, 'u$ter or"ere"

the retreat The avalry ro"e a! u& into the hill$ with the +n"ian$ in

hot &ur$uit %ut it wa$ too late +t wa$ going to e 'u$ter '$ la$t "ay

+t ishi$ la$t "ay + $tan" in the a#& an" li$ten to the attle


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+t'$ all gunfire an" $rea#$ an" +n"ian $inging an" $ilene an"#ore $ilene an" then the $oun"$ of eleration + $wear + hear

laughter The attle i$ over +t only ta!e$ aout an hour A 6ui! an" rutal

fight

So + wal! towar" the hill where 'u$ter an" hi$ $ol"ier$ he "ea"an" "ying + wal! with hun"re"$ of other +n"ian$ /o#en, hil"ren, ol"

&eo&le /e wal! to 5oin the warrior #en An" $o#e warrior wo#en A lot

of wo#en &ut on war &aint an" ro"e out into attle again$t 'u$ter +

never !new +n"ian wo#en oul" e warrior$, too +t'$ hor#onal to $ay thi$, ut tho$e wo#en warrior$ are $exy in

their war &aint

%ut there i$ nothing $exy or eautiful on 'u$ter'$ 1ill There are

hun"re"$ of "ea" avalry $ol"ier$ %loo"y or&$e$ everywhere Theyloo! li!e re" an" white flower$ loo#ing in the green gra$$

+ feel $i! in #y $to#ah an" rain + feel $i! in #y $oul +re#e#er that in another life + !ille" &eo&le li!e thi$ + left ehin" a

an! loy fille" with "ea" o"ie$

%ut thi$ i$ war The +n"ian$ were &roteting the#$elve$ fro# the$ol"ier$ 'u$ter ha" ri""en into a#& to !ill #en, wo#en, an"

hil"ren 1e ha" to e $to&&e" + un"er$tan" why he'$ "ea" + un"er$tan" why he ha" to e

!ille" +t wa$ $elf-"efen$e /a$n't it $elf-"efen$e? + un"er$tan" why the $ol"ier$ ha" to e !ille", ut + "on't

un"er$tan" what i$ ha&&ening to the $ol"ier$ now To their o"ie$

All aroun" #e, +n"ian #en, wo#en, an" hil"ren are "e$eratingthe o"ie$ of the "ea" white $ol"ier$ Bight there, an +n"ian gran"#other i$ $taing a $ol"ier with hi$

own ayonet 1e'$ "ea" an" loo"y, ut $he !ee&$ $taing hi# over

an" over again + $tan" an" wath a$ $he $tri&$ off hi$ lothe$ She want$ hi# to

e na!e" an" a$ha#e" in the afterlife An" now $he ut$ off hi$ &eni$ an" $tuff$ it into hi$ #outh She

want$ the 3-"$ to laugh at hi# when he arrive$ in the afterlife "1ey,

!i","the 3-"$ will $ay to hi#, ""o you !now you have your own o!

$tuffe" etween your teeth?"

All aroun" #e, gran"#other$ are utting off &eni$e$ an" ear$

an" han"$ an" finger$ an" feet + $ee a young wo#an, a girl, #aye ten year$ ol", "igging at a

"ea" $ol"ier'$ eye$ + run over to her an" &u$h her away She'$ trying

to ta!e hi$ eye$ She $hout$ at #e in her trial language + "on't !now exatly

what $he'$ $aying, ut $he'$ ur$ing An" then + reali.e that $he thin!$


48/129

)want hi$ eye$ She thin!$ )'mfighting for hi$ eye$ She &u$he$ #e + &u$h her a! She &u$he$ #e + &unh her in

the fae An" then $o#eo"y gra$ #e + a# eing "ragge" aro$$ the

gra$$, u& the hill, towar" the $u##it )y father "rag$ #e

+ loo! a! an" wath that girl ut out the "ea" $ol"ier'$ eye$1e'll e lin" in the afterlife an" he won't e ale to fin" 1eaven (o$t

an" alone, hi$ gho$t will wan"er thi$ attlefiel" forever )y father "rag$ #e to the $u##it

There + $ee a hun"re" +n"ian warrior$ have $urroun"e" $ix white$ol"ier$, the only $urvivor$ They are eing torture"

The warrior$ $la& an" !i! an" &unh the white $ol"ier$ Theyto$$ the# to the groun" Then they &i! the# u& an" throw the#

"own again They ut the# with arrowhea"$ an" !nive$ an" hathet$

A thou$an" little ut$ Thi$ i$ war

)y father "rag$ #e into the irle The other +n"ian warrior$$to& to wath thi$ So#ething i#&ortant i$ ha&&ening + a# $o#eo"y

i#&ortant

)y father gra$ one of the white $ol"ier$ 1e'$ 5u$t a !i", li!e

#e + "i"n't !now they let !i"$ 5oin the avalry

)y father to$$e$ the !i" to the groun" an" $te&$ on hi# 1ol"$hi# "own Then #y father ta!e$ the long !nife out of hi$ elt an"

han"$ it to #e + $ee the !nife i$ the ro!en en" of a avalry ayonet The

han"le i$ a thi! wra& of ea"e" u!$!in

)y father $ay$ $o#ething to #e in hi$ language + "on'tun"er$tan" 1e $ay$ the $a#e thing again + $till "on't un"er$tan"

1e &oint$ at #e, at #y throat + reah u& an" touh the huge

$ar on #y ne! An" then + re#e#er7 A white $ol"ier ut #y throat +n another

a#& on a "ifferent river, a white $ol"ier grae" #y hair, lifte" #yhin, an" $la$he" #y throat with a ayonet An" now #y father want$

revenge 1e want$ #e to want revenge

+ re#e#er, a! when + wa$ *it$, a! when + wa$ eight year$

ol", an" + wa$ living in thi$ fo$ter ho#e on a #ountain near Seattle Arih white fa#ily + thought their #oney #a"e #e rih, too Theyought #e new $hoe$ +t wa$ the fir$t ti#e + ever wore new $hoe$

+ re#e#er +'" een living there for a wee!, with #y new

rother an" new $i$ter an" new #other, when #y new father too! #e

into the a$e#ent to $how #e hi$ #o"el train$ 1e ha" #ile$ an"#ile$ of railroa" tra! "own there Thou$an"$ of #ile$ an" hun"re"$ of

train$ 1e ha" uilt itie$ an" town$ an" #ountain$ an" fore$t$


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+ re#e#er + &laye" with tho$e train$ for hour$ an" hour$Playe" until + oul" arely !ee& #y eye$ o&en Then #y new father

too! #e into another "ar! roo# in the a$e#ent, one without anytrain$, an" "i" evil thing$ to #e Thing$ that hurt Thing$ that #a"e

#e lee"

+ $tare at the white !i", the $ol"ier, lying on the groun" of (ittle%ighorn + $tare at the ayonet in #y han"

+ $tare at #y +n"ian father + notie that he ha$ little han"$ war-&ainte" on hi$ he$t, hil"ren'$ han"$ + won"er if he &aint$ hi#$elf

that way to re#e#er the +n"ian hil"ren who have een "e$troye" y

white $ol"ier$ + $tare at the white $ol"ier again

+ won"er what + woul" "o now if that #o"el-train #an were lyingon the gra$$ here at (ittle %ighorn /oul" + !ill hi#? /oul" + ta!e

revenge on hi# for what he "i" to #e in the "ar! a$e#ent roo#?

+ "on't !now

All aroun" #e, +n"ian #en, wo#en, an" hil"ren wath #eThey all want revenge They all want #e to want revenge

The other white $ol"ier$, loo"y an" ro!en, wath #e They

!now they are going to "ie an" they wee& They want to live 2e$, they are $ol"ier$ They are !iller$ An" they want to live

/e all want to live + "on't !now what to "o + feel the anger uil"ing in$i"e of #e + feel the nee" for

revenge )aye +'# only feeling the ol"-ti#e +n"ian !i" '$ nee" for

revenge Or #aye +'# only feeling mynee" for revenge )aye +'#

feeling oth nee"$ for revenge

An" then + won"er if that'$ the rea$on + !ille" all the &eo&le inthe an! Di" + want revenge? Di" + la#e tho$e $tranger$ for #y

loneline$$? Di" they "e$erve to "ie eau$e of #y loneline$$?

Doe$ thi$ little white $ol"ier "e$erve to "ie eau$e one of hi$fellow $ol"ier$ $la$he" #y throat?

+f + !ill hi#, "o + "e$erve to e !ille" y thi$ white $ol"ier'$fa#ily an" frien"$?

+$ revenge a irle in$i"e of a irle in$i"e of a irle?

+ loo! away fro# the white !i"'$ eye$ + loo! aro$$ the "i$tane

an" $ee 'ra.y 1or$e a$tri"e a &ony on another hill 1e'$ alone 1e

'$alway$ alone

1e wathe$ u$ 1e i$ not &artii&ating 2e$, he !ille" "o.en$ of

$ol"ier$ "uring thi$ fight An" he !ille" 'u$ter %ut then he ro"e awayto wath the re$t of it Alone

+ re#e#er that he alway$ a#&e" alone That he often left hi$&eo&le an" travele" into the wil"erne$$ + re#e#er that he went

#i$$ing for wee!$ an" #onth$ at a ti#e Noo"y !new where he went


50/129

An" now + wath hi# ri"e over the hill an" "i$a&&ear Soon, he will e !ille" Not y a ullet Aor"ing to legen",

'ra.y 1or$e wa$ ullet&roof 'ra.y 1or$e will e #ur"ere" y one ofhi$ ol" frien"$7 y (ittle %ig )an

Another +n"ian warrior will etray 'ra.y 1or$e (ittle %ig )an will

hol" 'ra.y 1or$e'$ ar#$ a$ a white $ol"ier &unhe$ a ayonet into the$trange one'$ elly

A ayonet will !ill 'ra.y 1or$e (i!e the ayonet in #y han" )y father yell$ at #e in hi$ language 1e want$ #e to e a

warrior +'# only twelve or thirteen Thi$ o"y i$ only twelve or thirteen +

a# only a hil" + $tare at the white $ol"ier in front of #e 1e'$ &roaly

eighteen Or younger 1e'$ $eventeen or $ixteen or fifteen 1e'$ a hil"an" +'# a hil" an" +'# $u&&o$e" to $la$h hi$ throat

/hat "o + "o? + lo$e #y eye$


51/129


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utton$ an" $u$&en"er$ an" elt$ + "on 't un"er$tan" An" #y finger$"on't wor! too well + have to onentrate on #a!ing the# wor! right

An" they hurt +t'$ li!e little !nive$ $taing #y !nu!le$ Then + re#e#er that 3-" i$ really, really ol" So #aye 3-" ha$

3-" arthriti$ An" #aye that'$ why the worl" $u!$ )aye 3-" '$

han"$ an" finger$ "on't wor! a$ well a$ they u$e" to )aye 3-" loo!$ "own on earth an" $ee$ the a" guy$ an" trie$to &i! the# u& )aye he want$ to $6ui$h the# li!e ug$ %ut 3-" '$

arthriti$ i$ $o a" he an't #a!e hi$ finger$ wor! )aye 3-" $aw #e &ull out #y gun$ in the an! an" trie" to

reah "own an" $6ui$h #e efore + oul" !ill anyo"y %ut 3-"'$ han"$

were too $low 1e got #e, ut only after + $hot a unh of &eo&le

+'# a$ha#e" of #y$elf /ho wa$ +? /ell, + wa$ #e + "on't haveany exu$e$ + $hot &eo&le That'$ all + an $ay + "e$erve whatever

&uni$h#ent o#e$ #y way

%ut no &uni$h#ent will e ig enough )y &uni$h#ent will notring a! the "ea" +t "oe$n't wor! that way + will e &uni$he" an" the "ea" will $tay "ea" An" the worl" will

!ee& going on li!e that

Fru$trate", + !ee& lo$ing #y gri& a$ + try to utton #y unifor# +a# late for reveille An" +'# $ure it'$ a" to e late for reveille

So, o!ay, now +'# "re$$e" an" + li#& out of the tent to 5oin the

other $ol"ier$ Everyo"y el$e i$ alrea"y line" u& in neat row$--or

$e#i-neat row$, + gue$$ All of the$e $ol"ier$ are young an" hungry +

won"er how long they've een on the #arh They're not $tarving to

"eath, ut they loo! hollow-eye" an" arren, li!e they 've een fe" 5u$t

enough foo" ut never enough ha&&ine$$ %ut why a# + $o worrie" aout their ha&&in

sherman alexie - flight.rtf

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