7/28/2019 Speak in English Please

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Speak in English please.....

Hey Frens...

Hope this helps relieve the dreaded "March" pressure!!

KillingEnglish

Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostel

pulling cigerette... ? "

Class teacher once said : " pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"

Once Hindi teacher said...."i'm going out of the world to America.."

"..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."

Dont..laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallen

down.....

it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried

to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said "

why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)

Teacher said in a furious mood... write down ur name and father of ur

name!!"shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"

My manager started like this "Hi, I am Pinky, Married with two kids"

"I'll illustrate what i have in my mind" said the professor and erased

the board

"Will u hang that calender or else i'll HANG MYSELF"

LIBRARIAN SCOLDS ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL

DOWN OUTSIDE"

Chemistry HOD comes and tells us.... "My aim is to study my son and

marry my daughter"

Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father

7/28/2019 Speak in English Please

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Light Humor for allOnce upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the

side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a

man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-

watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie gets out and asks the shepherd, 'If I can tell you how manysheep you have, will you give me one of them?'The shepherd looks at the young man, then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and

replies, 'Okay.'

The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASAWebsite, scans the ground using his GPS,

opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with algorithms and pivot tables. He then

prints out a 150-page report on his high-tech mini-printer, turns to the shepherd and says,'You have exactly 1,586 sheep.'

The shepherd cheers, 'That's correct, you can have your sheep.'

The young man takes one of the animals from the flock and puts it in the back of his

Porsche.The shepherd looks at him and asks, 'If I guess your profession, will you return my

animal to me?'

The young man answers, 'Yes, why not?'The shepherd says, 'You are an auditor.'

'How did you know?' asks the young man.

'Very simple,' answers the shepherd. 'Firstly, you came here without being wanted.

Secondly, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew.

Thirdly, you don't understand anything about my business...'

'.....Now can I have my dog back?'

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