stress workshop 3 relationships 1: couples and intimate relationships

The Ultimate stress The Ultimate stress Survival Guide:Survival Guide:

Relationship Stress 1Relationship Stress 1

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IntroductionIntroductionCommon sources of Stress.Where are you now in your relationship?Conflict:

What is conflict?Conflict in relationships/ The emotional flight or

fight.Managing and resolving conflict.Conflict resolution Skills.

Apologising/Forgiveness.Boundaries.Sex and Intimacy.Parental Stress.


Relationship StressRelationship StressCommon Factors causing stress in

Marriage/ Couples Relationships.Money.Children.Busy schedules.Conflict: Spouse/SO.Intimacy and Sex.Poor communication.Bad habits.In a Rut?


SCOT AnalysisSCOT AnalysisA simple exercise to take a snapshot of

your relationship at the moment:Strengths. (internal)Challenges. (internal)Opportunities. (external)Threats. (external)


SCOT AnalysisSCOT Analysis


In relation to my relationship: What are its….

List below a description of you in relation to the headings. Key words or bullet points.

Strengths ?

Communication Appreciation Flexibility Outlook Presence Love Passion Intimacy Shared Interests Humour Boundaries Freedom Expressing feelings Connectedness

Challenges?

Baggage/ Past Personalities Attitude (Grumpy/Flighty) Perception

Opportunities?

Growth (business/ personal) Creativity (Business/ Personal) Change Increased awareness of Feelings/ Emotions/ Responses

Threats?

Economic/ Financial. Mind V Heart : Fear (Past/Future). Family.

What is Conflict?What is Conflict?Conflict is a normal part of healthy

relationships.Conflict arises from differences. More than

just a disagreement (Threat). Trigger strong emotions.

Conflicts fester when ignored. Repetitive / Prolonged conflict: higher number of health conditions. (Portland)

Unacknowledged Conflict can still hurt: People who never argue. Anger suppressed is unhealthy. Couples die younger.

Response is based on perceptions of the situation.

Conflict an opportunity for growth if resolved in the right way.www.life-without-limits.co

Emotional Flight or FightEmotional Flight or Fight


Managing and Resolving Managing and Resolving ConflictConflict

List Unhealthy responses to conflict.List Healthy responses to conflict.How you resolve conflict depends on how you

interact. Win/Lose: I Win, You Lose.Lose/Win: I Lose, You Win. Please or Appease.Lose/Lose: 2 Win/Lose individuals. Adversarial.Win: It doesn’t matter if the other wins or loses.Win/Win: Solutions are mutually beneficial.Win/Win or No Deal: Agree to disagree agreeably.

Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.


Conflict Resolution SkillsConflict Resolution SkillsPoor skills:

Going along to get along/ Avoiding conflict altogether.

Keeping quiet on feelings/ Suppression.Shutting down/ Being defensive.Over-generalising: “You always”, “You never”Being right: Right and wrong is a matter of

perspective.“Psychoanalyzing”/Mind Reading: “knowing”

instead of asking.Forgetting to listen/ Stonewalling.Playing the Blame Game.Trying to “win” the argument.Constant Criticism of partner’s character


Conflict ResolutionConflict ResolutionExercise: List some poor skills.Listen to what is felt as well as said.Seek a solution.

Make conflict resolution the priority rather than winning or "being right.”

Focus on the present. Rather than looking to the past and assigning blame.

Pick your battles. Is the issue is really worthy of your time and energy.

Be willing to forgive. Know when to let something go.

If you can’t come to an agreement, agree to disagree.


Conflict Resolution SkillsConflict Resolution SkillsManage and relieve stress in the

moment.*Emotional awareness.Nonverbal communication.Humour.Get in touch with your feelings. Hone Your Listening Skills. Proactive assertive communication.


ApologisingApologisingHow to apologise sincerely.

Know when to apologise.Take Responsibility.Express regret.Make amends.Reaffirm boundaries.Apologise for the right reasons.Let go of results.


ForgivenessForgivenessForgiveness is a challenge.

Can be seen as condoning what’s been done.Its hard to let go of what happened.

Why is forgiveness important?Its good for the heart and has a positive impact on

overall health.Restores positive thoughts and feelings towards

offending party. Also towards others.How to forgive.

Express yourself.Look for the Positive/ Cultivate Empathy.Protect yourself and move on.

First time, shame on you; Second time, shame on me.


BoundariesBoundariesWhat is a boundary in a relationship:

Where you end and others begin.How emotionally close you let people get to you.

Setting Boundaries and Stress:Maintaining Balance.Keeps conflict minimal.Promotes closeness.

The boundary Quiz:


Sex and IntimacySex and IntimacyHow many times do you make love in a

week?. On average how long do you make love

for?.How many minutes per week do you

make love for?.

There are 10,080 minutes in a week.What are the keys to Maintaining

Intimacy? www.life-without-limits.co

Relationship In a Rut?Relationship In a Rut?Have a date night once a week.Try new things.Participate actively in each others lives.Have more fun.


Parental stressParental stress


Florida state university parenting stress study: Parents of all types suffer more symptoms of depression than non-parents.

Parental StressParental StressReduced social support: Maintain a social

network.Time management Techniques.Stress management Techniques.Creative outlet.Take care of your body.Be smart with your finances.Enjoy your children.


THANK YOUTHANK YOU


stress workshop 3 relationships 1: couples and intimate relationships

Health & Medicine

conflict minimal

repetitive prolonged

parental stress

listening skills

poor communication

feelings suppression

list healthy responses

right way