Surviving Exams -

A Parent’s Guide

Is the family a happy place to be in?

The difficulty with SSC exams is that it

stretches all attention into the future. As a

parent, what you need to do is focus on the

PRESENT.

Is your child feeling supported and

loved?

Is the family’s ability to cope with

stressful times getting stronger?

This is the time when students start thinking

about the future of their life. It is their first

experience of facing large-scale competition.

Every parent wants the best for their child -

to provide him/her with all the best

advantages. This can lead to a demand on

their physical and mental energy, which we

call STRESS.

Some students worry constantly about their

performance in the exam, even if they have

prepared well, because people perceive that it is

this examination alone that decides the future of

students.

EXAM AND STRESS

Stress takes a toll on everyone and the abilityto handle stress is different for every individual.For some, stress works; but for most, it iscounter-productive.

It affects performance and generates fear.

• Unrealistic or unreasonable expectations

of others and self

• Excessive competition

• Low self esteem

• Comparisons

• Last minute preparation

What stresses students?

•Parents’ lack of trust

• Managing Friendship & other Relationships

• Conflict

• Life changes

What stresses students?

PHYSICAL

• Lack of sleep, appetite (or excess)

• Headaches and stomach pains

• Feeling sick and tired all the time

• Constant fatigue

• Increased heart rate

• Blurred vision

• Dizziness

Signs of stress

EMOTIONAL

• Quick to get into arguments or get angry

• Depression or negative thinking

• Excessive worry / anxiety

• Self-injurious behaviour

• Lots of negative self-talk

• Avoidance of study

• Irritability

Signs of stress

SOCIAL

• Social withdrawal, cutting off from usual

routine (or increase in social activity)

• Lack of interest in activities

Signs of stress

COGNITIVE

• Difficulty in concentrating

• Forgetfulness

Plan the child’s unsupervised time

Plan the time you are going to spend with

your child and how you will spend it.

What parents can do to help children study well:

Work out simple routines along with the

child.

Help the child in framing a time-table.

Help the child with time management.

Do not micro-manage your child’s time.

What parents can do to help children study well:

Encourage the child to attend the school regularly.

Allow him/her to participate in all school activities.

Don’t overload the child with different kinds of study material.

Ensure that the child participates in all school

exams. (some marks are given for internal

assessments.)

Ensure that your child submits all journals and

assignments on time.

What parents can do to help children study well:

Ensure that your child is getting enough food,

sleep, and recreation.

Plan outings judiciously, but do plan them.

Learn to negotiate with your child about the above issues.

Create a guideline for TV watching, use of

phone and internet, time out with friends.

Keep TV watching (by you) in control and

monitor the noise level.

What parents can do to help children study well:

Plan your own social activities judiciously.

Avoid inviting guests and relatives to stay

over during this time.

Keep the social environment of the house

normal.

Keep your personal life normal - don’t keep it on hold because your child’s exams are

approaching.

What parents can do to help children study well:

Try to give minimum advice to your child.

Have conversations with your child besides

study.

Treat them occasionally if they are doing

well in their studies and exams.

Provide emotional cushioning for your child.

Don’t buy new gizmos in the house at thetime of the exam.

× Nagging.

What parents do that hinders the child’s study:

× Blocking out all recreation for the child.

× Comparing the child with others.

× Making the child feel that exams are the

most important and only thing in the world.

× Talking about previous failures or results.

What parents do that hinders the child’s study:

× Displacing your anxiety on the child.

× Mixing academic issues with family conflicts.

× Saying ‘STOP DOING THAT’ when the child

is in the middle of doing something. If, for

example, they are watching TV or are on the

phone, give them some time to finish and then

stop. ‘Switch off the TV within 5 minutes.’

Small meals at regular intervals is a good idea;

This keeps the stomach busy and brain working.

If in the habit of drinking tea or coffee, keep it

to a minimum - 1 or 2 cups a day. Avoid any kind of

‘Energy drink’.

Helping your child manage & creating a supportive environment

To be free from any kind of infection or viruses,

try and avoid outside food at all times. Even with an

upset stomach, your child loses 2-3 days.

RECREATION A regular fixed time for recreation helps a lot. It

saves time if others know when your child takes a

break so they can plan their calls and visits during

that time.

There will be festivals and celebrations during

this one year. Enjoy and participate, but remember

to remind your child that regular study is essential.

Ensure that your child is sleeping well for about

7-8 hours, especially on the night before the test.

RECREATION

When your child is taking a break, let

him/her go outdoors and get fresh air.

While studying, after every 3-5 hours, if

children lie down and put their legs up for

some time, it helps the blood flow to the

brain, and they feel fresh as the brain is

rejuvenated.

What about you?Are you stressed?

» Sleep disturbance.

SIGNS OF STRESS IN PARENTS

» Panicking.

» Losing temper often.

» Not being able to concentrate on work.

» Constantly checking on child.

» Constantly checking with other parents.

» Developing health concerns.

» Everybody’s life (in the family) revolves

around the child who is taking the exam.

SIGNS OF STRESS IN PARENTS

» Number of conflicts increase around and

about the child.

» Excessive leave-taking from work.

» Becoming excessively religious.

» Family relationships are getting affected.

To be aware that however your child has done in

9th

std, it will be better in the 10th.

What parents can do to manage their own anxiety

Family-time once a day, which is fun time.

Using humour is a good idea to relieve stress.

Take care of your health – eating, sleeping,

relaxing etc.

What parents can do to manage their own anxiety

Trust the school for what they are doing and

saying. (They are in this business for a very long

time; experience counts).

Attend all school meetings - you will get updated

with what is happening and what is expected of

you and your child.

Set realistic goals according to your child’s ability.

What parents can do to manage their own anxiety

Talk to the teacher/counsellor if you are

not able to manage the anxiety.

Learn to let go of things.

Talk to a friend / relative.

To realize that whatever the outcome is,

it is manageable.

Let your child know that…

He/she is loved.

You believe in his/her ability.

You care more about them than their marks.

You are the strongest pillar in his/her life, and

that s/he can win in every exam of life because

you stand by him/her.

Board exams are an important phase in a

student’s career, but it is a phase and not a

career in itself. It is the beginning of the road,

not the end of it.

“Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget

everything except what

you're going to do now and do

it.”

- William Durant

Bombay Cambridge Gurukul

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